1986 david bowie from the movie labyrinth

grunge tried to kill the metal Eloise - 22 - Aus

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

just a fun set of photos from June when we dressed up as Kurt and Courtney and torped a few cruisers because god knows I never thought I’d ever meet a dude who even gave a shit about my music problem let alone a dude who listens to the same stuff as me.

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

on the first weekend of October last year, I had dinner with my ex-boyfriend. we were navigating the difficult matter of what we ‘were’; a couple of exes who slept together the weekend before, friends with benefits, a one night throwback thing, an on-again couple- or nothing at all.

after a few drinks in the company of all of my friends who flocked the same pub every Friday night, I spotted someone across the room, pointing him out to my best friend.

he was tanned, overgrown dark hair, big brown eyes, long curly eyelashes, 6ft1 and fit, dressed all in black and standing beside a school friend.

I nudged my friend and drunkenly tumbled out of my seat beside my ex boyfriend, making a beeline for the boy across the bar who could only be described as beautiful.

perhaps the boldest thing I’ve ever done: I held my hand out, introduced myself, shook his hand and absorbed his name. Jared.

I’d never seen him before. I’d never even heard of him. I learned a lot quickly: he was from the Central Coast, he was a mechanic skater surfer snowboarder menace, an absolute car-head with the goofiest sense of humour and the energy and attention span of an out of control child. he has a million wild ever-changing dreams, a fear of vegetables, a love of the spontaneous, with a playlist of 90s alternative, 80s Australian rock and pop punk buzzing in the background.

I’ll cut to the chase. things were tumultuous but fun, and fizzled out over the girls, mostly friends, who saw themselves with him. I walked away so I wouldn’t get hurt.

after a couple of months we fell into a friendship that started small and quickly built into the closest, most honest friendship I have. my best friend- no other label gave him enough credit. strictly friends, no funny business, just full speed ahead having the most fun possible whenever we could.

that was until one night where I suppose the lines blurred, and grew blurrier and blurrier at every hidden opportunity, our own little secret from a close-knit group of friends who knew nothing of it, and needn’t know anything; we were just having fun, nothing serious.

but now it’s serious.

and somehow, I always think back to all of the times I posted on tumblr about how deeply sad, alone and hopeless I was while mentally constructing my dream boy, who, almost a year ago, materialised and entered my life.

so here I am with a gorgeous, almost too gorgeous, boy who tells me I’m beautiful, kisses me like he means it, stares at me with the cheekiest smile when he thinks I’m not paying attention- who supports me 100% of the way, makes me laugh all day everyday, has a million dreams of where life will take us, and isn’t afraid to tell me all about them. I know I’m lucky, and I guess, in all of those months, I never realised that I was falling hard for him.

Thank uuuuu for listening :)

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

it’s bizarre that I haven’t used tumblr in so long. I don’t even know where to begin, like, do I just act normal like I never left? weird.

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

also now is probably as good a time as any to mention how I drunkenly hit a pothole on a pushbike and sent myself flying through the air with no helmet on Saturday night, knocked myself out for 10 minutes and have bruising on my brain.

My head caught most of the impact, hurts like hell, and is massively swollen- but here’s my shoulder for visual representation.

anyway they gave me a couple of days off work because all of my coworkers witnessed the incident and can vouch for the fact that a) they thought I was dead, and b) I have no recollection of anything that happened that night, HOWEVER, tomorrow night I’m on a managerial shift so here’s hoping my brain kicks back into action before 4pm tomorrow hehe

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

today was cool because I noticed that the riff from the chorus of I Should Have Known is the same as the riff from State Of Love And Trust and I probably should’ve noticed that 8 years ago but I DIDN’T :-)

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

aN $8000 BOND? like my pals and I are just trying to live our best life, and y’all are out here stomping on our aspirations with your outdated overpriced rentals :( if anyone needs me, I’ll be livin with my Parents til I’m 40.

[modern-day-minstrel]

I want Stephen King to purchase the rights to Twilight and write a book that is the events of Twilight from Charlie Swan’s point of view where a small-town police chief is reunited with his estranged daughter and then has to slowly watch helplessly as she displays signs of being trapped in a horribly abusive relationship while her new boyfriend gives off very passively ominous veiled commentary and Charlie begins to realize that the little town and the little girl he always swore to protect are the epicenter of something far older, far bigger, and far more dangerous than he could ever have imagined

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

I love when people complain about rental prices in the city when we out here in the mountains like “I found a three bedroom flat in Jindabyne for $1800 a week, and, like, the wallpaper is kinda kitsch and if we get three couples livin there, we might be able to afford to eat” and like, I genuinely don’t understand why Jindabyne costs three times as much as Canberra where there’s actual job opportunities and far less swept-under-the-rug violent sexual assaults per capita, but okay.

[cinema-styles]

[mrrightandmrbubble]

Red Bull gives you wiiiings

[madeleine-ferguson]

David Ferrando Giraut: The series Natural Scenes.

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

ok I said I was going to stop using tumblr like a diary literally two minutes ago, but here I am:

I’m really tired of feeling ugly and unhelpful. I’m just trying really really hard to get rid of those negative feelings so I can focus on bringing good things into my life.

I generally feel inadequate, unimpressive, unwelcome. you know- just like I’ve passed my prime and can’t stack up.

I’m exhausted from things being complicated.

I am so ready for my world to begin to make sense, yet instead I can’t help but constantly confront my own inconsistencies and insecurities.

I don’t like feeling this way, and I’m trying to bring all of these feelings to a halt so I can start to grow.

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

me, a healthy adult: stops using tumblr as a diary that I occasionally use and begins using a real diary like a real person.

[simonjadis]

today’s food plan:

[tinderventure]

[traininvainn]

God damn the crowd at the CalJam Pop Up got “New Way Home” and “Hey Johnny Park!”. That’s literally all I’ve ever wanted at a Foo show.

[helloivewaitedhereforyou]

how does one crowd get so lucky? I got Hey Johnny Park at a 7,000 capacity show and thought I was the Queen of the Universe, but New Way Home? my Other Other Other favourite FF song? gasp.

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

Carly Simon writing You’re So Vain about such a specific man, yet including the line “you probably think this song is about you” so that if he took it personally he would prove her point? Unparalleled power move