I "opened" Pride month with a post today. And then was accused immediately of it being blatantly transphobic. As an accusation from within the community, I—of course—want to know if I create, post, or do something that wrongly hurts the communities and people I care so deeply to advocate for.
I'm making a post to address this, because while the comments differed in tone, there was more than one speaking to the difficulty of seeing my piece.
I understand that what I depicted to start off Pride month art was difficult. Pride started as a protest. For me, it will ALWAYS be a protest FIRST, until we are not facing so much hate, discrimination, and the genocide of trans people. I chose to make my post about that, and save the queer and trans joy for another post I make for Pride. I chose to depict where my heart lies when I think about Pride, currently.
If you follow my work, you know that I depict a lot of terrible things. Sad things. Difficult things. I try not to shy away from it... I know that means it's not always easy to see my work. I get it. And I understand if someone needs to step away for a moment, during a time in their life, when things are hard for them, or permanently.
My art is my activism. It's the small offering I try to give the world. It's me showing up the ways I know how. For me, that means not turning away from the dark stuff...
It hurts to be accused from people within my community. I will always try to hear it out and check myself. I always, always turn the lens on myself to question and probe myself, my thoughts, and my actions. I aim to always hold myself accountable. And I always try to right any wrongs I commit.
At the same time, sometimes... We will not see eye to eye. And in this case, after hearing out the argument against me, I currently still stand by the piece... And my choice to have it be my opening piece for Pride. I am sorry to those that feel it's painful or hard to see depicted. I truly am. And if someone further explains to me why it was wrong or transphobic, I will take into consideration their argument also and re-check myself with the new information.
I have major rejection dysphoria and what I call "villain complex," and I hold myself to a very high standard of scrutiny.
Please know that I make my art from a place of love. A place of advocacy. A place of anger and bitterness. A place of trauma.
And lastly, in case it matters, I am trans, and I am a POC. That absolutely doesn't mean that I can't fuck up and get things wrong, or do things that hurt my own community. But it seems to matter to the person who accused me, so I figured I'd say that.
Please though: always hold me accountable. Share the things you're thinking or feeling. I... appreciate if it's done with some care and knowing that my intentions are always good—to the best of my ability. But I will always prioritize making sure I am not causing unnecessary harm in my attempts at helping...
(copy/pasted my post from FB to share across my platforms...)
jacobvanloon
pixelskylines
areudirty
origamiaround
germansingergirl
andulkaphoto
blakekathryn
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind