Pairing: Eris Vanserra x Archeron!reader
Summary: Since you became High Fae there were only two things that scared you: your deadly power and your attraction toward the male you should hate most after Tamlin, Eris Vanserra.
Warnings: mention of smut, Eris Vanserra being Eris Vanserra, my english and probably spelling mistakes since I'm also sick
A/n: I apologize for my lateness, but uni is kinda taking all my time away. I was dying with the need to write about this scene, and I hope you'll like itđ«¶đ» if you want to be add at the taglist just ask!
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3
"Eris is coming to the Winter Solstice celebration at the Hewn City." Rhys informed the Inner Circle while you were discussing alliances for the probable war against Briallyn. "He's shaken by Tamlin catching you two meeting with him," he nodded toward your twin and Cassian. "and wondering if we'll balk from the alliance now that there's the slim chance Tamlin might reveal it. Or decide to sell him out first. We need to remind Eris of our continued commitment, and that he is...important to us. That we have his back."
You heard Cassian snarling with disgust while your sister Feyre echoed the expression.
"So buy him a present," Feyre said, waving a hand. "and tell him we all send our love."
You snorted amused at that. "Don't you have some old, dusty jewels? Give him one of those." You said obvious while you rested your arm on the chair's back..
"He'll want more than that." Rhys said, mouth twiching, and his eyes fell upon Nesta.
Nesta. Rhys wanted to use Nesta to win Eris over. The thought alone made you sick. Why her? Why Rhys thought that Nesta alone could make Eris swung at her feet? He had saved your life, not hers. Actually, he would have let Nesta die if it hadn't been for you and Elain.
But of course, Rhysand couldn't know that. No one knew Eris had saved your life during the war, and strangely enough Eris had never bragged himself nor made any comment.
From what Cassian had said it had seemed that Eris had been interest in flirting with your twin, and you had to admit, he had never tried to flirt with you in any occasion. Actually, he had tried to break your patience. So it did make sense, you supposed. Nesta was the most logical choice.
"You want me to dance with Eris?" asked Nesta caution.
"I want you to seduce him." Rhys' words made your stomach twisting with an unease sensation. You didn't know why you were reacting like that, and you told yourself that it was because you didn't want Nesta close to someone like him. It wasn't because the thought of Eris giving his full attention to someone who wasn't you made you sick. No, you could never want something like that. Someone like him.
"You really think that Nesta's dancing with Eris will solidify his loyalty?" you hadn't meant to make the question sound so...disgusted, but thankfully no one seemed to notice. Actually, most of them echoed your tone.
"I think Eris is our ally, and will expect to dance with a lady of this court at the ball no matter what." Explained Rhys to you, probably mistaking your disgust for worryness. "I won't let Feyre within five feet of him, Mor might kill him, and Amren is more likely to scare him off than win him over, so you, Nesta and Elain are the only options, but from Cassian's report Eris hadn't seem too friendly with you."
Cassian should learn when to shut up, you thought annoyed. Of course Cassian would say that, because Eris had made sure to annoy you at the meeting with Lucien, Vassa and Jurian.
"Was Cassian wrong?" asked Rhys carefully, reading something in your eyes that you quickly hide.
"No." You said with a lazy smile. There was no point in telling them what had happened during the war, probably Eris had already forgotten it too. "He was completely right."
Rhys watched you for few more seconds with his violet eyes that sometime seemed like they could look right inside your soul and read it. You checked your mental shield and found it intact, the fire that you pushed down burned brightly around your mind, protecting it.
***
The black dress you had chosen for the night fell comfortably over your body as you walked down the hall of Hewn City's palace. You had opted for something elegant yet less reveling than Mor's and Feyre's. The straps fell lightly down your shoulders, the bodice had a sweetheart neckline with what looked like black flames over your collarbone. You still had to decide if it was a hint that Rhys knew about your power still lingering in your body, or it was for pure imagine. The flames seemed to fell down your body in a lovely silky gown that captured the lights with each step.
Unfortunately, you now had to wear gloves, because the burned scars had expanded all over your hands, and the gloves was the only way to hide them. Thankfully, since it was winter no one ever questioned them, and tonight you had put some long, black, silky gloves that matched your skirt.
You were currently behind Rhysand and Feyre, between Elain and Nesta as the two of them still were on no speaking term. Tonight was a show of power, with your sister's pregnancy annouce and your twin's beauty offered on a silver plate for the Heir of Autumn.
You had appreaciated how Elain had wanted to come, and it didn't go unnoticed to you that she had opted to wear a plain dress with just two pearls in her hair to not outshine Nesta. Elain had always been the prettiest of the four of you, but tonight it was Nesta's time to shine, and she had gladly disguided herself as plain and boring.
As you entered the throne room every eyes fell on you. Not on you, actually. On your sister's swollen belly. You heard gaspes and whispers all around you. Keir's looked torn between anger and shock, and you had to hide an amused grin.
As your eyes scanned the room with a bored expression, you took you ropportunity to look at the redhead beside Keir, knowing he would be too focus on your sister to notice your staring, but as your eyes fell on the him you found two green pounds already staring at you.
Eris was looking at you. Not at Feyre. Not at Nesta, the one supposed to catch his attention. He was looking only at you, and you hated how your heart skipped a beat.
He looked at you like he could admire you for the first time, and somehow it was true. You both knew that no one would notice your staring at each other, because everyone's attention was on Feyre.
You used every second to drank the sigth of him. Eris was dressed in Night Court black, and you could be damned for how handsomely he was. He looked like the darkest of the dark dreams that someone shouldn't have. That someone be you.
That game was dangerous, you realized. Those stolen glances, stolen moments would lead you only in a dangerous territory. But danger looked so appealing when he let his eyes slowly roam all over your body.
For a moment you felt more naked than Mor and Feyre.
Eris must have noticed the black flames on your dress because he slowly grinned. It wasn's a mocking grin, it wasn't even amused. It was one of Eris' grin that you still had to classify.
His eyes met yours again, and he did the last thing you had expected. He winked at you. He fucking winked.
You felt your cheeks getting warmer and you quickly looked in front of you again, dismissing him as if nothing had happened, and for a moment you wished it hadn't.
As Feyre and Rhysand sat on their thrones, you and your sisters went to stand at the foot of the dais, between Cassian and Azriel who looked like they could kill anyone watching at any of you in a wrong way.
Keir and Eris scuttled forward, and while the former bowed, you pointly avoided to look at the latter. "Allow me to exted my congratulations." said Keir and you knew that he didn't mean a word of it.
"And allow me to extened mine as well," said Eris with a voice that could warm even the coldest spot of the Winter Court. "on behalf of my father and the entire Autumn Court. He shall be thrilled by this news."
Rhysand mouth curled in a cruel half smile, the stars winking iut in his eyes. "I'm sure he will."
Sometime you forgot how powerful and cruel Rhysand could be. He was always gentle and kind with you, with all his family. But the moment that something threated Feyre's life? He become feral, and you were glad for it. You were glad Feyre had found Rhysand.
They gave the crowd some command to make it loose, and when Eris did to follow Keir Rhysand stopped him. "Before you join the merriment, Eris, I'd like to present you with your Solstice gift."
A long black box appeared in his hands, and you tried your best to hide your confusion. Rhysand had never spoken of other gifts beside Nesta, so what was all of this about?
As the box flew to Eris and he opened it you could see the dagger that Nesta had made. You hold your breath as Eris's face went pale. "There's flame in it." He said. "Why give this to me?"
"You're our ally, " Feyre said, a hand resting on her belly. "You face enemies that exist outside of the usual rules of magic. It seemed only fair to give you a weapon that operates outside those rules, too."
You cursed in your mind as Eris understood that the dagger was Made and started to question Rhysand. Eris culd be the monster of everyone's story, but he was no idiot. Actually, you had the suspicious that he might be smarter than he let the other see.
âOrdinarily I would ask you to dance," said Feyre kindly. "but my condition has left me unwell enough that I worry about what so much spinning would do to my stomach.â It was the truth. Feyre had bolted from dinner three nights ago to find the nearest toilet. Now she looked at you and your sisters, as if deciding who would dance with him.
You looked away, not really wanting to see Eris admiring your sister Nesta. You focused your attention on the couples dancing, and you couldn't wait to be among them. You didn't have the same passion as Nesta, but you had always enjoyed it if you had a good partner.
You had asked Morrigan to give you lessons too, just to be able to dance freely with whoever might ask you. It had been fun when you had found Cassian too at Mor's lessons, silently agreeing that you would say nothing about the other.
"One of my oldest sisters shall take my place." you barely heard Feyre's words, knowing she would be gesturing to Nesta, so there would be no point to look away from the musicians.
It was when you heard Nesta stiffining beside you and Elain elbowing you that you looked away and gave the latter a confused look. Elain only inclined her head, pointing to something in front of you.
You furrowed your eyebrow, still confused, and looked where Elain was pointing. Your breath caught in your throat as you found Eris standing in front of you with his hand strechted out.
"If I require right, you are the oldest." He said with that lover's voice that tricked your mind.
You gulped and tried to not let your eyes widining too much as you gave him a nod. "Only by few days."
Why was he not looking at your sister? It was quiet obvious that she was the one planned to be offered to him, the one who looked like a queen. Hadn't Cassian said that Eris had been flirtatious with Nesta? Hadn't Cassian said that Eris seemed to loath you? Then why was he looking like that?
You slowly brought your hand on his, as you had done the day he had saved you, and something about his wicked, sparkling eyes told you he remembered it too.
He brought your hand around his arm, and accompanied you at the center of the dancing floor with a royaly grace. Even throught your gloves you could feel the warmness that his body radiated. A warmness that somehow made your body relax. Hadn't you had asked this to the cauldron? Warm, nice fire? Not the destructive flames that burned inside you.
Eris stopped at the very center of the floor, and you could already feel everyone's gaze on the two of you. What a gossip this would be; one of the High Lady's sisters with the heir of the Autumn Court, dancong at the Winter Solstice.
"Saying that you look gorgeous would be minimalizing." Said Eris as he gently put his free arm around your waist bringing your bodies much closer than they had ever been. "But flames are supposed to be red, not black."
You would have smashed his grin if the violin's hadn't started playing. You put your free hand on his shoulder and rose your chin to meet his eyes, with the fakest, sweetest smile you could master.
You had indeed wanted the dress to be red, because it had always been your favourite colour, but the Night Court's colour was black, and you needed to appear as a unit front.
"I wouldn't want to be mistaken for a member of your beautiful, appealing court." Your tone was soft, not wanting to gain any more stares than what you already had on you, but the sarcasm was there. "I find black perfect for this dress."
You were soo the wrong person to complete the job. Nesta was supposed to seduce him, because Eris didn't rail her up like he did with you. It was impossibile in your mind to even think of being nice with him, let alone flirt.
"What is not perfect is this dance, I'm afraid." he said still with his smirk on his lips. You looked at him confused, and he leaned close to your ear making you hold your breath. "Your High Lord and High Lady look like I have just spilled icy water on them. Aren't you supposed to be the oldest? They seem to think I might eat you in any moment."
His hot breath on your neck made it ashamedly hard to concentrate on what he was saying, and you would never admit to yourself that it was only when he leaned away that you found the capacity to speak again.
"We were all convinced you enjoyed my sister's company more than mine." You managed to say, offering him that truth.
The sound of his dark chuckle was like silk on your skin. His grip on your hadn and waist tightned a little, and you would have ripped his hands away if it would have been any other moment, or any other male.
"And why would I lose time playing with her when I have my perfect match right here?"
Cauldron boils you.
It was a bad, bad, bad, bad thing that you knees almost went weak at his words. It was even worst that your stomach seemed to be dancing its own waltz inside you. It had been so long since someone had touched you like that and hell, no one had ever looked at you like that. Ever.
You told yourself that that was the reason why he was having that effect in you. You had been used to the human's beauty, then you had been too busy to save the world to even notice High Fae's beauty. Eris had just happened to be in the right place at the right time and boom, you were weak on your knees for him.
"Someone might stirr if they heard you calling me your perfect match." You said finding a surprising calm, steady voice. "The future High Lord of the Autumn Court should have no equals."
Something flickered in his eyes as he looked at you with the typical gaze full of secrets. "I have no worries of any equal since you seem so determinated to conceal yourself as a rabbit rather than the dragon that you are."
His words managed to make you shut down every...confusing feeling you had inside and rose your chin a bit higher, watching him with a bored expression. "I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Is that so?" he slightly tilted his head with the same eyes that a predator used to study its opponent. "Then I take the gloves as the newest fashion in the Night Court? Curious, I don't see many other females wearing them."
He made you do a double spin on your feet before bringing you back against his chest. "I would have thought that a princeling had more important things to think about than the fashion in other Courts." You said coldly.
You hadn't realized that the music had ended until a new dance began and Eris easily led you throught that. It was slower, lighter, but you didn't need to think about the steps; Eris was annoyingly good at leading you.
His eyes darkened a little, as if you had just insulted him. The grip on your hand tightened and you hissed in pain as his fingers pushed into the burned flesh of your palm. "Tell me, it's still about fashion?" He tightened his fingers again and you stepped on his foot angrily.
"Do it again and your father will have to name another heir." you hissed still blinded with pain. Fuck off the whole court him thing; you would have never been good at it nevertless. If Eris wanted to play with you, you would play back.
***
Cauldron boils him.
He was so down bad for you. Never in five hundred years he had met someone who could turn him on just with a glare. And the glare you were giving him was of pure challenge and threat.
He laughed at you. He laughed because it was the only thing he could do. He laughed because the alternative was to see if you would still talk to him like that if he pushed you against a dark corner of the palace, knelt and buried his face under the gown of your dress.
That fucking dress.
You looked like a night Goddess of fire, and the Mother knew how happily he would worship you if given the chance.
But he couldn't. Not until his father was alive. Not until he would be free to let you know the true Eris and let you decide what to do about the bond. Not until you desired him as much as he desired you.
"I would like to see you try without any training." he lightly mocked you, needing to see how far he could push you until you finally gave in and unleashed what you had inside. "But I could make your odds better if you just admit what we both know, Little Flame."
He grinned as he sensed the effect that the name had on you. You face stayed neutral, it was your heartbeat that betrayed you. Eris had to admit it, even if you had just entered the game of scheming, courts and alliances you were doing a great job at it.
"I'm afraid I'm not following you." You said giving the room around you a bored look. He knew you were actually seeing if any of your court was listening to the two of you.
Eris had a vague idea of what would happen if you find out about the bond in the near future. You would be caution about it at first, then after few words with Mor and the Inner Circle you would decide to break it, and why wouldn't you? He was the villain in everyone's story, and he was fine with that. He didn't really plan to change that narrative in your head, yet. But he refused to sit still while you burned yourself in your own power and the Inner Circle did nothing to stop it.
"I could train you." He said suddenly serious. "If you are too ashamed to show your precious family what monstrous power you have, you should have no problem showing it to someone who is already considered a monster."
You arched an eyebrow. "Considered?" you asked ironically. "I recall hearing quiet thrutful stories about you for just considerating what you are."
He didn't pretend to be hurt by your words. He knew exactly what you had heard, what he had done, but obviously you couldn't know the whole true. No one did execpt for one. "Careful to let your new ears believe everything they say about me."
"Because you seem so much more trustfully." You said with a ironic smile that he immediately matched.
"Train with me a day every week, and I'll answer honestly to one question of your choice." He proposed before spunning you on your feet. "Maybe you'll make your own idea of me."
Those beautiful, careful eyes studied him, and he almost knelt right there. "Why would I accept? What do you gain from this?"
His grin widened. "I'm pleased to see that those brutes taught you something useful." He mused. "Let just say I think your power will play a key part to my...succesion on the throne, and I rather have you as my ally than my enemy."
You narrowed your eyes, surely pondering every single word he had said. "I won't do the dirty job for you."
Eris knew you meant killing his father, but of course you couldn't say it out loud since Keir was still around. He admired your quick thinking, and he was extremely glad that you were smart enought to guard yourself around people like himself.
He chuckled lowly. "That is a matter I'll deal with alone." He stated firmly and the fingers on your back lightly caressed you, assuringly. "I just ask for your help when my court will need it."
Eris would never admit out loud that he already know what kind of favour he would need from you. The idea had come up as the two of your were talking, but he knew that if he had proposed it right away you would have left him on the dancing floor without a second thought.
"One day of training everyweek with one question of my choice in exchange of my help, once, when you'll need it with your court?" You carefully stated looking cautionsly in his eyes.
He gave you a grin as he leaned his face closer to yours. "Do we have a bargain, Little Flame?"
He had to call all his hundreds years of training to not close his eyes as your scent hit his nose. It was sweet, like cinnamon and caramel. It was everything he recalled to like, to bring him joy.
He smelled the shift in your scent as your faces were dangerously close, and for the first time he was glad that you were new to this world because otherwise your would have smelled the shift in his scent too. And that, would have bring the two of you in a dangerous situation.
"Yes." you said after a while. He could see that you had thought of every outcome of that bargain, you probably had thought about how to tell the others, what reactions they would have and in how many ways it could end badly. "But you have to stop calling me that."
He laughed. "You should have put it into the conditions of the bargain before you accepted it."
As he said those words he felt something stung on his back. It felt like someone was writing something on his skin with fire. It didn't hurt, it was more like a tickle, and when he saw your hand flying from his shoulder to your back, scracthing the same part on your body that tickled on his, he knew that the bargain had been sealed.
The music ended and he gave you a bow, bringing your gloved hand to his lips. He could smell the burned flash, and a part of him wanted to kill Rhysand to have let you do it to yourself. But he only placed a gently kiss on it, sensing how you, elegantly, shivered and gave you a charming smile.
He studied you for a monent. Your eyes were looking at him with what was not surely kindness, but at the same time was not hatred too. You were trying to find your place in this new, cahotic world, he understood. His eyes traveled on your dress, and his jaw clenched. You would have been a beautiful living flame if it hadn't been concealed with black, somehow a represantion of how you wanted to conceal yourself to fit in that Court.
"Let me begin the training now with a little advise." Eris said still with your hand in his. Your eyes flashed with curious. "Do not follow blindly those who walk in front of you. You might find out that black is not the colout that suits you best."
He didn't wait for you to process his words as he gave you a last, parting smile and turned on his heels, already putting his mask back on. "See you next week, Little Flame." he mocked over his shoulder as he walked away.
He heard you curse him under your breath, and it only made him grin amused. He found it surprisingly fun to rile you up, it was a kind of amusement that he didn't feel with anyone else. He needed it as a reminder that his equal was indeed like him: fierce, smart, witty and always ready to fight when needed.
He walked toward Rhysand and Feyre, still seated on their thrones, already watching him with their calculated eyes. He was sure that they were probably having a mental conversation about what they had seen, and Eris fought the urge to smirk.
"Did you enjoy the company of my sister?" asked Feyre politely with a lazy smile. He had to admit that both her and Rhysand did a great job at acting like the rulers of the Court of Nightmares.
"Your sister's company had been delightful." He said matching her smile. Before asking them what he wanted he was curious to test the waters. "But I'm curious; you showed me what I can have, Rhysand. I'm intrigued enough to ask what you'd want in return."
He saw Feyre's jaw clenching. She would never sold her sister, and surely not to someone like him, but it was still fun to imply just that.
"What do you mean by that?" asked Rhysand not betraying a single thought that was in his mind.
"I mean that whatever you want, I'll give it to you if you promise to keep her safe and away from my father." Eris said suddenly serious.
He saw the confusion flashing on both rulers' face as they surely spoke to each other mind to mind. Eris knew he was letting them see too much, but it was the only way he could be sure that you would be safe as long as his father was alive. They needed to know in what danger you were if his father ever find out what you and Eris were.
"Explain yourself better." Feyre commanded with a cold voice.
He gave her a mocking grin. "You keep your oldest sister away from my father, and train her. and I'll give you whatever you want. You wanted to reassure our alliance? This is the prize."
"I cannot force her in doing anything she doesn't want to, but I can come up with the right arrangment for that." Rhysand said calmly. "But it seems foolish for you to offer me anything I want in exchange for...her safety. Why would you care so much about that?"
He could see that both Rhysand and Feyre were trying to understand what kind of game he was playing, what kind of tricks he had in mind, so he let his mind shield opening a little, inviting them in his head to speak the words that he could not say out loud.
"Because it seems that the Cauldron gave two Archeron sisters to the Night Court, and two to the Autumn Court." Eris said in his mind, knowing that they both were listening.
Feyre's face drained of colours as Rhysand's eyes hardned and his deep, dangerous voice sounded in his mind. "Why should we believe you?"
Eris smirked and let the memory of the day he had saved you fill his mind, letting them see it. He replied the moment the bond stirred inside him, urging him to run toward you. He made them see the exact moment your eyes met and his whole existence screamed the word Mate all over again. He made them see how he had foolishly followed you to the King of Hybern, keeping you safe until you had run to Nesta. He let them see how hard it had been to return to his father and hide eveything, how scared he had been when after the war he had been sat beside his father while you were right in front of him, terrified that any gaze might give him away. The last memory was of when he had found you outside the Autumn Court's camp, and he had been so close to grab you and winnow on the other side of Prythian, not wanting you close to his father in any way.
He stopped the memories just as the one of when you had cured him started to pop in his mind, and watched careful the reaction of the two rulers in front of him. "I cannot risk for the bond to snap for her when my father or any of his allies are close. He would hurt her to hurt me, and despide what you think of me, I won't let it happen."
Rhysand studied him with a heavy, dangerous attention. "I could keep her away from you and have you do anything I want just for the chance to see her, do you realize that?"
A test. Eris knew it was a test, because Rhysand would never do something like that, but still Eris couldn't help but laugh ironically. "It would be the first time you'd do something smart, Rhysand." he tilted his head in a mocking grin.
"You should speak of this matter with Feyre then." Rhysand stated, making a good job at sounding bored. "It's her sister you are mated with."
"I could have your head in any moment if I suspect you to be a danger for her." said Feyre in his head viciously.
"I would like to think that the bond would make your sister miss me a little if you do that." he answered ironically placing a hand on his heart. "But I'll give you everything else you need. After all you are my sister-in-the-cauldron, you might find out you'll have more advantages from this situation than your boring mate."
"Go away before I test that bond theory." threatened him Feyre making his grin grew wider.
summary: even before you became fae, your favourite season was autumn. itâs a little hard to hide this when your least favourite newly appointed high lord has made it his lifeâs mission to be the most annoying male in your life.
a/n: sorry for such a long break!! pls let me know what u think and again if youâd like to be added to the tag list send me a message or ask as I rarely check my notifs and go back to them. also sorry abt the cliffhanger uhmmmm also unedited ok bye
âYou look like crap.â
Your eyes flutter open to see Mor scrunching up her face as she peers at you from her seat across your own at the dining table. It takes a second for her words to register and you throw a belated scowl her way.
âGood morning to you too,â you mumble, sitting up to continue swirling your spoon around your bowl of barely eaten oatmeal. Your appetite seems to have vanished over the past week, but you try and force a spoonful down your throat, nearly gagging.
Mor narrows her eyes at you and her lips press into a thin line of concern. âNo, you seriously look like crap. Youâre not eating lately and you were literally asleep at the table when I got here.â
âI wasnât asleep,â you say, defensively. âI was resting my eyes.â
âYou sound like Cassian after a three hour afternoon nap.â
âIâm just having a little trouble sleeping.â You set your spoon down and push the offending bowl away from you before slumping in your seat. You brush off her skeptical look with a wave of your hand. âIâm always like this after absorbing Fae magic.â
And over the last few days youâve been absorbing a lot. All in an attempt to find out as much as you could about the Fae rebel group that had been attacking the borders of multiple Courts, in order to weaken them and make a point against you.
Well, you and your sisters. Not all of Prythian was accepting of Feyre for how she was Made, and even less so of you and Nesta and Elain. Instead, they viewed you as unnatural mutations and the whispers had only become worse after the War. It seemed that the lack of conflict looming over Prythian was unacceptable in their eyes.
With the help of your powers and Azrielâs shadows, you were closer than ever to finding them. Truthfully, the idea that there were Fae out there who hated you didnât bother you so much in the sense of feeling like outcasts, but you couldnât lie. They were starting to be a giant pain in your ass.
âYouâre never like this,â Mor scoffs, gesturing to the bags under your eyes and the hollowness of your cheeks. As her voice raises, the pounding of your head gets more intense and you attempt to hold back a grimace. âWhy is it affecting you so much this time?â
âItâs the type of magic Iâm absorbing,â you practically whine, abandoning all pretences of being okay and allowing your shoulders to drop. âItâs so angry and harsh and impure, Mor! Itâs literally making me sick because I have nowhere else to redirect it.â
At that moment Rhysand and Feyre walk in to join you at the table.
Rhysand, having overheard you, chimes in as he reaches for a plate of fruit. âGood news, our little Siphon,â he nudges you lightly, the nickname making you scrunch your nose up in mock annoyance. âWe have enough information now to move forward using Az and Cass and resources from other Courts. The only thing we need you to do now is rest.â
Rhysandâs upbeat tone brings a weak smile to your face. You know that heâs being flippant to make you feel better, like he always does when youâre stressed or unwell and youâre nothing but appreciative as he whistles under his breath, nonchalantly piling some fruit onto a plate for you.
âYou should have been resting days ago,â Feyre eyes you from beside Rhys with furrowed brows, taking in your tired form. âWe told you yesterday would be too much.â
You groan, burying your face in your hands. âGive me a couple hours and Iâll be fine for the meeting in Summer.â
Mor snorts and looks up at you, amused. When you raise an eyebrow, her smile drops into an incredulous expression. âYouâre not serious.â
âI need to be there to discuss what I siphoned from that knife we found at the border of Dawn,â you say, holding up a hand and rushing out the rest of your words when Feyre opens her mouth to speak. âAnd Rhys promised me I would be there since itâll be all the High Lords, Court informants and even soldiers. I couldnât possibly not go.â
Feyre sighs, sensing that youâre not going to back down. She nods slowly, pointing at your plate. âFinish all of your breakfast and your lunch later on and then you can go.â
You let out a breath, feeling nauseous when Rhys slides your plate closer to you and simply shrugs when you glare at him. Traitor, you speak to him in your mind. He suddenly becomes very interested in a strawberry.
âWatch me,â you say confidently, waving your fork at Feyre who rolls her eyes at you and goes back to her own breakfast.
Summer court is your least favourite court at the best of times, though youâd never admit that to sweet and kind Tarquin, whoâs arguably one of your favourite High Lords.
The beautiful, shimmering lagoons arenât of interest to you as large bodies of water have always unsettled you. The warm breeze that everyone welcomes always reminds you of the times you had to suffer through sweltering heat when foraging for food with Feyre in your adolescence. Youâve always preferred a colder climate and appreciated a more muted daylight.
Considering your current health, the ripples in the water make you dizzy and the light salty breeze nearly brings your breakfast and lunch up.
Youâre thankful for the sheer, thin material of the sage coloured dress that Nuala and Cerridwen chose for you because you suddenly feel a sheen of sweat covering your body.
âAre we done sightseeing?â you ask weakly, desperate to be inside already.
Elain turns to you and winces. âYou donât look too goodâŠ.â
âAw, thank you, Elain.â
âThatâs not what I mean,â she tuts, coming over to fan your face with her hands. You swat them away, sputtering and try to catch Rhysandâs attention to move things along. He reluctantly agrees and gestures everyone to move along, too used to your aversion to Summer.
As you all enter the palace made of gleaming marble, you hang further back to avoid the watchful eyes of Feyre who seems to be waiting to send you right back home to rest.
The palace is beautiful and you push down your nausea to look around and take in the tall arched windows. The jewelled embellishments adorning the frames trail higher and higher and you crane your neck to see them.
This turns out to be a mistake when your vision starts to blur and another wave of nausea causes your steps to falter, the world tilting sharply.
A firm hand grips your elbow in an all too familiar fashion, steadying you before youâre sent flying to the ground. Another hand settles around your waist where the cutout of your dress exposes your now damp skin, glittering with sweat.
You look up and find Erisâ amber eyes locked onto your own.
âFoolish,â he mutters, his voice sharp with irritation, yet his hands remain steady in their position, holding you up. Itâs the first word heâs uttered to you since your encounter a couple of weeks ago in the Spring Court where heâd left on frosty terms. You had seen him twice since then, but it was in the middle of meetings and siphoning sessions and he had barely spared you a single glance.
Your lips part but your senses are too overwhelmed to think of a response before he carries on, lightly shaking his head at you. âYou overexert yourself all week and then travel here? What are you trying to prove?â
âIâm fine,â you manage to say, pulling away from him, but his grip only tightens. You canât help glancing around and noticing that the growing crowd of all the Court officials has separated you from the Inner Circle. You huff out a breath as you register his words. You knew Rhysand had to communicate with the other High Lords with updates, but you didnât know that included your physical state. âGods, High Lords are such gossipsâŠâ
âYouâre not fine,â he says, scowling like youâve dreadfully inconvenienced him by nearly collapsing. His gaze flickers over the pallor of your skin and the way youâve started to shiver slightly. âYou drained yourself dry this week. And for what? To impress Rhysand? To prove something to him?â
âLet go of me, Eris,â you attempt to snap at him, but even you can hear the lack of strength in your voice. His eyes soften slightly when you say his name without your usual bite. âI canât have this same conversation with you when Iâm like this.â
âYou think I want to be the one always catching you from falling on your face? Trust me when I say I have things I would rather be doing,â he mutters, narrowing his eyes.
You grit your teeth at the reminder and heat flares in your cheeks, whether itâs from embarrassment, anger or the climate of Summer, you donât know.
Before you can retort, Eris sighs and straightens you up, still not fully letting you go. Releasing the hand around your waist, he loops your arm in his own and makes you lean on him for support. To your utter surprise, he doesnât say anything as he starts walking towards the meeting room where everyone else files in. Despite your frustration, youâre grateful for his strength.
The moment of blissful silence doesnât last too long, however. As he begins to lead you to where your family is stood and clearly looking around frantically for you, Eris leans in to whisper in your ear. âYou need to sit down at the table,â he orders quietly, High Lord behaviour on full display.
Youâre about to argue that no one else is going to be sat and he immediately catches this, cutting you off. âDonât be stubborn for once in your life,â he murmurs, breath warm against your ear, making you shiver more than you already were. âPlease?â
You quickly turn your head to meet his, shocked at the pleading in his voice. You didnât realise how close this would bring your own face to his and words leave you. Thankfully, youâve reached your family as you hear Cassianâs loud voice and it snaps you out of your little bubble.
âFinally!â he exclaims, throwing his arms up in exasperation. âWe were about to send a search and rescue team, thinking youâd finally collapsed.â
âWhy didnât you?â Eris asks, coldly.
Cassian merely rolls his eyes at Erisâ attitude and gestures at Azriel.
Feyre comes forward to take your other arm in hers and explains. âAzrielâs shadows informed us that you were with her, Eris.â She smiles warmly and sincerely at him and Rhysand nods at him in recognition of his actions. âThank you for looking after my sister.â
Eris shakes his head. âDonât thank me yet. I foresee many falls in her near future that Iâm sure I wonât be present for.â
Feyreâs mouth twitches, but she quickly smoothes her face into an expressionless one when you frown at her and she busies herself with disentangling you from Eris.
He takes a step back, dark and fiery hair catching the sunlight through the tall windows and glances at you once more, not breaking eye contact, yet his words are directed towards Feyre. âJust make sure she sits down. The Night Court doesnât need a martyr,â he says drily, before walking away.
Your mouth goes dry at the double meaning in his words, but you canât shake off the shock at seeing genuine concern in his eyes. You must have looked practically near death, but you appreciated it all the same and you donât even realise your eyes are lingering on him as he walks away until Feyre sits you down next to Nesta.
Your older sister raises an eyebrow at you, always so intuitive and you swat weakly at her to look away from you. Cassianâs eyes flit back and forth between you two, confused.
Before he can say anything, the meeting commences and you feel a shift in the energy of the room, full to the brim of Court officials, emissaries, a few warriors and of course, the High Lords around the table.
Your turn to speak comes fairly quickly since the most information regarding the Rebels is from you and Azriel. As per Rhysandâs instructions, you donât go into any details regarding your siphoning powers, instead just sharing the information you gained due to them. You try to ignore the way people are staring at your weak form, but you continue to speak with all the strength you can muster. Evidently, youâre doing a convincing job as people start to nod, satisfied and scribble things down.
When Azrielâs turn arrives, you zone out a little, already having heard everything a few times over. Your ears only perk up when everyone is discussing plans of action against the Rebels and a question is asked in your general direction.
âWho are we thinking is to be at the front lines of this hypothetical mission?â The question comes from one of the Spring Court advisors, Vaelith, an older Fae with silver hair gathered in one long braid down his back.
His gaze lingers on you for only a split second before moving onto Rhysand and you feel compelled to answer. âMyself and Azriel,â you blurt out, before you can think twice. âAnd others of course, but the two of us are the most familiar with-â
âWeâre all aware of the Shadowsingerâs abilities,â Vaelith interrupts you, holding up a hand to stop you from talking. You hold back a scowl. âWhat makes you suitable to lead such a mission aside from your⊠familiarity with a selection of items left behind by these Rebels?â
âIâm more than able to-â you cut yourself off and swallow, gaining yourself a second to think of a way to defend yourself without giving away your powers, as per your High Lordâs request.
Careful, Y/N
Rhysandâs voice sounds clear as day in your head and you try not to wince at the volume considering the silence of the rest of the room. The other High Lords knew of your powers, but Rhysand had requested they keep it to themselves, even from their own Court officials. Whether or not Rhysand had used his Daemati abilities to ensure this, you didnât want to know.
âIâm more than able to assist in a plan of action,â you continue firmly, voice hardening. âIâm not sure if you remember a certain War we just had, but you may wish to remind yourself who was at the front lines of that.â
A few laughs break the tense silence and some people start muttering, slowly raising the volume of the room. You almost donât hear Vaelithâs next words. âYou havenât really answered my question.â
âLetâs use our senses, Vaelith,â a voice rings out from further down the table and youâre startled to realise that Eris is speaking up. The room finally quietens down and you sit up impossibly straight, surprised that Eris is about to defend you.
You couldnât be more wrong.
He only spares you a fleeting glance, but even from your seat you could see itâs full of amusement and mocking. The thing that surprises you is that the mocking is directed at you. âLook at her. Are you really questioning the abilities of a female who barely has the strength to sit up in her seat, let alone fight?â
Your stomach drops, a ball of humiliation unfurling in your chest as he continues to speak.
âIâd like to believe Rhysand has more sense than to send someone on the frontlines who would just be doing the rebels a favour,â Eris drawls, raising an eyebrow at Rhys, still avoiding your gaze.
Rhysand nods. âI can assure you Iâll only be sending my strongest soldiers, Vaelith,â he smirks, faintly, as though the implication heâd do anything to suggest otherwise is laughable. âNow may we discuss matters of actual importance? Tarquin, what have your soldiers been preparing?â
The tension dissolves almost immediately, but youâre still shellshocked, shaking with anger rather than weakness now. Itâs as though youâve been pumped with a burst of adrenaline and it doesnât seem to be dampening.
After the conversation has shifted to a completely different subject, you shift from your seat as discretly as possible and mutter to Nesta that you need some air before standing up.
You look at the High Lord of Autumn before you walk away, but it only infuriates you more. Eris doesnât look anywhere near you, but his jaw is clenched all the same, as though he can feel you glaring at him.
Mor catches your arm as youâre walking out and hisses in your ear. âYouâre still not well,â she turns her body fully towards you. âWait for me to come with you.â
âDonât worry,â you say, shaking your head and clenching your fists to keep them from trembling as you speak through gritted teeth. âI feel suddenly energised. Iâll only be outside.â
Mor gives you a once over and is clearly satisfied with the fact that youâre unlikely to collapse again as she nods and releases your arm, allowing you to rush through the crowd of people and push through the guards.
You walk briskly away from the doors of the meeting room and further down the empty hallway until youâre satisfied that no one will hear your heavy breathing.
You lean against a pillar, exhaling in and out to control your anger and keep the tears at bay. Gods, you feel so stupid. Of course, Eris is incapable of being a decent male to anyone, let alone to you. Damn him and his cruel smirk and damn Rhysand too for allowing it to happen.
Brushing away the tears that have managed to fall, you curse yourself for not just pushing him away and allowing yourself to collapse on the hard marble flooring. It was giving you whiplash the way he could be so full of concern one second and practically call you useless in front of a room full of officials the next.
The longer you stand against the marble pillar, the weaker you begin to feel and that burst of adrenaline you previously felt is no longer present. The anger that fuelled you mere seconds ago is now winding you and a rising sense of panic begins to consume you.
You decide to turn around to walk back so youâre closer to the doors of the meeting room in case you embarrassingly do collapse.
However, the second you take a step, a flash of movement in the corner of your eye is all the warning you get before strong arms clamp around you from behind and a cloth is pressed against your mouth and nose, preventing you from breathing. You canât even scream as the scent of something strong and chemical floods your senses, making your vision blur.
You thrash around in an attempt to use the little strength you have left to escape, but the arms only grip you harder and the world begins to spin. The last thing you feel is the cool marble floor as your knees give out and no one bothers to catch you as you hit the ground, darkness swallowing you whole.
summary; spencer turns to pornography to pay for his phds and careers, but what happens when his secret identity gets revealed? and by no one else than you?
cw; +18 content, minors dni!!, imagine is spencer on the pictures, suggestive messages, only fans, straight out porn, live porn stream, sub! spencer, dom! reader, mommy kink, male masturbation, mutual masturbation, sexting, dirty talking⊠i canât remember the rest!!
a/n: happy (kink)october!!!
@ entersandman has started a live!
your whole body thrummed at the notification, your thumb quickly pinching on it to open the app, your hungry eyes ranking over the supple soft skin of his toned chest and abdomen.
@ pin_klily; god
@ yourprettyprincess233; iâm so early!!!!!
@ idealisticashee77; so hotttt
your eyes scanned the upcoming and flowing comment section of the stream, your fingers quickly typing to receive the protagonist of your wet dreams.
@ puredoll; hi pretty boy
his hand was slowly caressing his growing erection from over his clothes, and his sultry voice filled your ears, making you squirm.
âhey, doll.â you could hear the hint of a smirk on his tone.
you bit down on your lip.
@ puredoll; missed me?
he hummed, squeezing his crotch with his veiny hand. âmissed you so much, baby. you werenât here the last time.â you could almost see him pouting. cute.
you smiled. he always made time for you, it was as if you two knew each other. by the longest time, you had been following his socials, and had become part of his only fans. you had bumped with his account two years ago, and since then youâd been completely hooked. you could still remember the post that caught your attention.
@ entersandman
@ entersandman; would you play with me? i promise iâll be a good boy.
you werenât very fond of porn, you barely watched it, but once you entered on his twitter and saw the little snippets of his only fans that heâd post to gain more followers⊠it was over for you. you didnât even know you were into more submissive men, always having been the submissive one in your sexual encounters, but once you heard him moaning and begging for more to the camera, completely at the mercy of his watchers, so pliant and responsive⊠you became obsessed.
you had never bought something as fast as you had bought the membership for his only fans.
he was just so⊠special somehow. his voice so beautiful, even more when heâd whimper and moan to the camera. and the content was so goodâŠ
it honestly made your day to come back home to pictures of him.
@ entersandman
@ entersandman; take my clothes off? yes maâam.
that or his simple comments, like;
@ entersandman; feeling so needy right now. can i bury my face on your pussy, mommy?
he really knew how to get a rise out of you.
@ puredoll; sorry pretty, i was busy. but i never stopped thinking about youâŠ
his hand squeezed his cock once again and a little sound escaped his throat.
âyou thought about me?â his breathy voice came through and your thighs squeezed against the other. he sounded surprised, and happy, glad even. as if he thought about you just as much as you thought about him, which was not possible.
@ delicioussin; take the pants off +50$
@ helplesswhore; i wanna see your cock +100$
@ secretiveloveee; play with us
@ puredoll; you see that, baby? theyâre waiting for you. why donât you give them a show?
spencer groaned, his eyes squeezing shut, he couldnât help the jumping of his dick, not when you talked to him like that.
âshould i take this off?â he tugged at his pants, and the chat went crazy, money flowing in, and he chuckled. âalright, alrightâŠâ his slim fingers easily snapped open the button, and pulled down the zipper, pushing his pants just the slightest down to show the streamers the sight of his fully erect dick and the stain of precum surrounding his tip.
@ puredoll; havenât touched yourself and youâre already dripping, so cuteâŠ
spencer couldnât swallow down the moan that left his throat, his cock twitching in need for his hand. he cupped it once again, his length clear as day through the flimsy material. he was big. really big.
âyou see this? look what you do to meâŠâ
you moaned at the neediness of his tone, your heart skipping a beat when he pleaded with a âcan i take them off?âïżŒ
@ kittypurr555; get rid of them +100$
@ morppheus_2; show us your pretty dick +100$
@ needyneedyneedy; god heâs so hard!!! +150$
@ uttermostlust; iâm salivating +50$
@ puredoll; so good at asking for permission baby⊠go ahead, show mommy
he whimpered. and god, youâve missed that sound so much. fucking finals. fucking school⊠one of your hands came down to your chest to pinch your nipples as he quickly pushed down his underwear under his balls in between âthank you, thank you, thank youââs. they looked so full. and he was so fucking hard⊠what youâd do to have him in your mouthâŠ
@ p0rnlover5663; +200$
@ babybluebaby; +150$
@ ashtonishingstamina69; +100$
your tongue licked your lips as you took in the sight of his reddish pretty tip, beaded with precum, the veins that decorated his shaft and the little curls at his base.
a whine left spencerâs lips when his hand wrapped around his cock. âmommy⊠iâm so hardâŠâ you sighed, smirking at his neediness and tone. gently laughing at the lustful comments in the chat, you typed your response.
@ puredoll; i can see that baby, why donât you fuck your hand for me, hm?
âfuckâŠâ he moaned as he quickly followed your order, his hand slowly pumping his cock as his chest quickly increased in breaths. his back slightly arched, and his free hand harshly gripped the arm of the chair, knuckles turning white.
@ puredoll; thatâs it, youâre doing perfect, pretty. tell me how good it feels
âit feels so good mommy⊠so goodâŠâ he moaned. money was easily flowing into his account, the chat increasing in thirsty comments. âi wish it were your hand, your mouthâŠâ he was begging as he sped up. the hand that was touching your breasts came down underneath your panties, finding yourself soaked through. you moaned as you started drawing little circles on your puffy throbbing clit. âi need you mommy.â
your eyes squeezed shut, your teeth capturing your bottom lip in a vice grip. you could draw blood if you wanted to. your hips bucked against your own hand when another whimper came through the screen. âfuck.â he looked so pretty, his neck (the last thing you could see, since his face was out of frame) and chest were flushed, lungs quickly taking in air as his hand worked his cock, his thumb gliding against his slit in little circles.
âsee this? this is how iâd touch your pretty clit, mommy, would make you feel so goodâŠâ your eyes rolled at his breathy whine. jesus christ.
âwould you like that mommy? or would you prefer to have my mouth? fill it with your cum over and over again? suffocate me with your pussy and use me?â you moaned, topping with your non dominant hand âsince the other was busy plunging two fingers inside your gaping hole-. âplease use me mommy, i want you to use meâŠâ
@ puredoll; such a fucking dirty mouth, baby⊠i bet youâd love that, huh? to be my little toy⊠beg for it.
spencer moaned, his cock jumping in his hand. his adamâs apple bobbed right before he went ahead and complied.
âplease mommy⊠can i be your toy? please let me be your toy mommy, please⊠i need it. need to be your pretty toy.â
your fingers curled against your g spot as his words made you moan and clench.
@ puredoll; good boy, baby, such a good little toy for me
spencer cursed, his pace around his throbbing and leaking dick increasing. you smirked.
@ puredoll; slow down⊠they want to seeâŠ
spencer whined but followed the order, deciding to play with his balls instead, showing off the length of his cock with light grasps and jerks of his hand, making it bob and slap against his lower stomach, precum staining his porcelain skin.
spencer was biting down on his bottom lip harshly, his dick twitching in need of release. his hazel eyes trailed along the comments and donations. looking for you. for directions.
@ puredoll; good boy⊠is all of that for me?
he moaned. âitâs all for you mommy, all for you.â he went back to slowly pumping himself. you fucked yourself at the same pace. âare you touching yourself for me, mommy? am i making you feel good?â
you could almost scream in ecstasy. why did he have to sound like that?
@ puredoll; so good baby, so goodâŠ
to that he whimpered, his hand moving faster. just the thought of you touching yourself because of him, of how he sounded and looked, making his mind dizzy and the pressure building in his lower stomach to grow faster than before.
âmommy iâm so close⊠i canât hold it.â he whined, his hand going impossibly faster. âcan i cum? please can i cum? wanna cum inside of you mommy, wanna fill you up, pleaseâŠâ those words brought you closer to your own orgasm, moans spilling from your lips as your finger curled against your g spot over and over again.ïżŒ
@ iseered633; so hot +100$ïżŒ
@ bestgirlint00wn; fuckkkkk +150$
@ octoberween666; +50$
@ punkypurr; +60$
he kept begging, whining, moaning, whimpering⊠until he saw it.
@ puredoll; cum.
it was immediate, instant, hot white and creamy spurts of cum coating his hand and reaching up to his chest as he became a babbling whimpering mess for you, his eyes rolling back as his hips fucked into his hand needily.
your orgasm hit you just as fast, triggered by the sight and sound of him coming undone. your back arched as your fingers kept thrusting, curling, fucking you dumb.
both of you rode your highs until there was nothing left.
you watched as spencer laid there, cock still twitching slightly against a pool of cum on his stomach, his chest heaving as he tried to found his breath.
@ puredoll; good job baby, looked so pretty coming for me
âthank you mommy.â he flushed, as always, feeling conscious of his disarray and state in front of the camera. âthank you for coming, iâll see you next time.â and with that, he ended the live.
spencer posted hours later on his twitter.
@ entersandman
@ entersandman; i see your name and i go crazy
it was another boring day at school. philosophy classes were really kicking your ass.
the professor had gone on a tangent of rambles to which you could not keep up with. that was until he took a deep breath and questioned.
âso, can anybody tell me if abstract concepts, like numbers, really exist?â
someone, someone you hadnât seen before in your class, which was pretty weird, rose his hand. you couldnât see much, except for brown hair and his back, clothed in a white shirt.
âyes?â
âfrom a platonist perspective, abstract concepts exist in a non-physical realm of forms, accessible through intellect and reason. in contrast, nominalists argue that these concepts are mere human constructs without independent existence.â
that voice.
your whole body tensed, your eyes widening and breath hitching. you could recognize that voice anywhere.
entersandman.
âcorrect, âŠ?â the teacher paused, awaiting for a name.
âoh, reid. spencer reid.â
your heart was about to beat out of your chest. quickly after the class was dismissed since it had come to an end. you were fast at getting out of there to take a look at him.
casual. be casual.
just one glimpse.
but when he left that class and walked into the corridor your eyes couldnât leave his face. his perfect face.
your heart almost stopped then. hazel eyes, messy curly hair, small nose, pink full lips and high sharp cheek bones. you were fucked.
you could perfectly be gaping like a fish right now, drooling even. he was handsome, pretty, attractive, hot, everything. he was everything. and he was so tallâŠ
you almost moaned when he passed by your side and could smell his cologne.
godâŠ
you could feel yourself getting wet already.
you turned to see him walk away to what you supposed would be his next class. he was here. entersandman was just meters away from you, in the flesh. he was real.
but he didnât know you knew. he didnât know who you were. he didnât know you were the girl that had made him come many times, on and off camera.
but you were gonna let him know.
you had a plan.
that night you came home to more posts coming from spencer.
@ entersandman; thinking about you tying me up with my tie, using me to get off, mommy. want to be your boy toy so badly⊠canât stop thinking about your lips on my neck, leaving marks that wonât go away as you take all you want from me.
@ entersandman
@ entersandman; iâll beg if i have to, baby, i just wanna be in between your thighs
you smirked, your mouth salivating at the sight. so needyâŠ
time to move. you opened his profile and pinched on the message option.
you thought for a minute before typing the decided words and hitting sent.
@ puredoll
somebodyâs needy today, arenât you spencer?
spencer was busy reading his assignments for university when his phone buzzed, a new message notification. his eyes widened when he read your username, fingers scrambling to quickly type his password, unlock his phone and get into the app. but all blood drained from his face when he read what you had written him, more specifically his name.
how did you know it? how did you know him? how?!
you chuckle as the minutes pass and he doesnât answer.
@ puredoll
cat got your tongue baby?
what a pity, you know i love it when youâre loud
@ entersandman
how do you know?
he bit down anxiously on his bottom lip, his heart was about to burst out of his chest.
@ puredoll
so dry⊠you hurt me baby, thought youâd be happy to talk with me
@ entersandman
i am, itâs justâŠ
@ puredoll
for all that matters, iâve gotta say that youâre prettier than i thought, with those puppy eyes of yours and big brain. got me so horny in classâŠ
spencerâs cheeks reddened, his heartbeat loud on his ears, his whole body flushing and cock jumping in his briefs. something about having gotten caught by someone, by you, made his mind fuzzy and his desire stir.
so youâre in his class? which one?
@ puredoll
so quiet⊠whatâs on your mind, hm?
@ entersandman
sorry, so you know who i am
@ puredoll
i do
he swallowed.
@ puredoll
such a dirty boy⊠going to school by day, stroking your cock for the internet by night.
he groaned, feeling his cock stir.
@ puredoll
and i bet you love it, huh? love the attention. my attention.
@ entersandman
yes
@ puredoll
yes what?
he moaned, biting his lip.
@ entersandman
yes, mommy.
@ puredoll
good boy, spencer.
holy fuck. he could come just by the sound of you calling him by his name. one of his hands came down to his hard dick, squeezing, his lip harshly bit in between his teeth.
@ puredoll
youâre quietâŠare you touching that pretty cock of yours for me, baby?
@ enteresandman
fuck. yes, mommy.
@ puredoll
so dirty⊠let me see.
spencer groaned and quickly followed your orders, opening the camera and hitting the record button, showing you the imprint of his hard cock from underneath his flimsy pajama pants as he stroked it.
@ puredoll
someoneâs needy, mh? who are you this hard for, huh baby?
@ entersandman
you mommy, only you.
@ puredoll
yet you have so many clothes on⊠why donât you take them off for mommy, huh?
@ entersandman
like this?
he sent you a pic of his completely nude body, and you bit down on your lip.
@ puredoll
exactly like that baby, now go ahead and use your hand
and he did, making sure to show the length of his cock to the camera as he slowly pumped it, whimpering curses and begging for you. yet this time, his face could be seen, eyebrows scrunched, jaw slack as moans spilled out and puppy brown eyes shining with lust.
@ puredoll
so fucking pretty⊠fuck spencer.
your thighs pushed together as your cunt quickly slicked up.
@ entersandman
please⊠can i go faster mommy?
@ puredoll
yes baby, go ahead
he moaned and once again pressed record as he sped up, stopping every now and then to play with his balls before going back to stroking the leaking head of his cock.
âlook what you do to me.â he muttered to the camera, voice sultry and raw.
one of your hands came down towards your pussy, your hand cupping it from over your clothes as a groan left your lips.
@ entersandman
wishing it were your hand, mommy.
@ puredoll
youâre driving me crazyâŠ
@ entersandman
have been thinking about you⊠want to make you feel good, want to make you cum
@ puredoll
yeah?
@ entersandman
yesâŠ
your hand pushed into your pants and panties, sighing when you felt how wet you were.
@ puredoll
iâm so wet for you, you always get me like thisâŠ
spencer moaned, the image of you touching yourself for him driving him crazy, his hips thrusting up into his hand.
@ entersandman
fuck, dollâŠ
you quickly pushed your clothes down, exposing your drenched cunt to the air, your fingers sliding easily through your folds before stopping over your clit and drawing tight circles that made your thighs shake and your back arch.
@ puredoll
you want to see?
@ entersandman
yes please, please mommyâŠ
you smirked and hit record, pointing the camera in between your legs, filming how you touched yourself for him, letting out little sighs and moans before plunging your fingers inside yourself and curling them to hit your g spot.
spencer couldnât handle it. the sight, your sounds and the fact that this was you, the girl he had been fantasizing about for months on end, touching herself for him, pushed him straight to the edge.
he came so hard his load hit his chest as he moaned loudly. he shakily recorded the remains of his spurts with whimpers as he made a mess of himself and his hand.
and when you returned the favor with a video of your own release, creamy cum surrounding and dripping from your fingers, he knew he had to have you.
and soon.
a/n; this took so long to write. anyways, would you guys like a second part? leave your comments and reblog and like if you enjoyed it!đ€
summary: in which theodore nott will do anything to get you to go out with him, but youâre just as stubborn rejecting him
warnings: swearing, kissing, dangerous stunts and theo being stupid (ryan gosling in the notebook style), unedited since i wrote this in the middle of the night on no sleep again lol. enemies to lovers if you squint a bit
authorâs note: since everyone loves theo iâll pretend this isnât just for my own selfish needs <3 (especially the notebook reference) also surprise surprise mc is a gryffindor as always, youâd never know i was a slytherin my bad guys⊠as always let me know what u think! enjoy, angels đ
The first time Theodore Nott asks you out, you spill a pot of ink directly into his lap.
Itâs not like you meant to do it. But when thereâs a Transfiguration worksheet to be getting on with, the Slytherin boy seated next to you by Professor McGonagall asking you out would surely take anyone by surprise.
The second you twist in your seat to look at him in shock, your arm slides the pot right off the desk and directly onto his grey trousers, instantly staining them with the black liquid before you have a chance to speak.
Your hands fly to your mouth to stifle your gasp and you look up at him, anticipating an angry glare in return. Instead, he looks mildly surprised at the ever-growing stain on his crotch, but mostly⊠amused?
âA simple ânoâ would have sufficed, darling,â he says, raising an eyebrow and suppressing a smile.
You begin stuttering out an apology and scrambling for your wand to wave away the stain before you can do something stupid like attempting to rub it off with your sleeve. Your cheeks instantly heat up at the humiliating image now plaguing your mind and you barely contain a sigh of relief when you realise the lesson has finished.
Itâs a miracle your shoes havenât left scuff marks on the ground in a cartoonish trail with the speed at which you leave the classroom. Godric knows why Theo Nott of all people wants to ask you out, but since it canât possibly be for any good reason, youâd rather not think about it too much. This, however, isnât helped by Hermione pestering you about why you look so flustered for the entire walk to the Charms classroom.
Twenty minutes later, her attention is finally diverted. On the other hand, itâs because sheâs berating you for accidentally burning the end of her left eyebrow off with a charm gone wrong.
The second time Theo asks you out, there are thankfully no ink pots around.
âHey,â he whispers from behind you, making you jump within an inch of your life despite his low volume. You swivel in your chair to glare at him, incredulous. Seeing that heâs startled you, Theo grins. âSorry. What are you doing?â
âBaking a cake,â you deadpan, once your heart has started beating at a normal pace again. Holding up your Potions book, you feel the annoyance start to seep in when Theo continues looking at you, undeterred. âWhat does it look like Iâm doing?â
Apparently unfazed by your sarcasm, he drags out the chair next to you and spins it around to sit on it backwards. Settling his arms on top of the backrest, Theo rests his chin on them to look at you. âYou never did answer my question.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you mumble, eyes scanning the page in front of you but taking in nothing. âIf youâll excuse me, I have to study-â
âAre you going to make me ask you again?â he sighs. You panic a little at his bluntness and continue pretending to read, not knowing what else to do. Theo takes your silence as encouragement and shuffles his chair closer to your own. âGo out with me.â
The arrogance practically drips off his voice, and the pit of anxiety in your stomach immediately turns into irritation instead. âNo,â you grit out, slamming your potions book shut to scowl at him. âAnd I donât hear you asking anything.â
âOkay,â Theo says slowly, nodding as though he understands. Itâs clear that he doesnât though, because the next words out of his mouth have you stunned. âPlease, oh please, will you do me the absolute greatest honour of going out with me?â
âMerlin,â you exhale, pinching the bridge of your nose. Dropping your hands into your lap, you see no solution other than gathering your things to return to the common room. âYouâre having me onâŠâ
âI can assure you, Iâm not,â Theo says quickly, stopping you from leaving by gently grabbing your elbow. You stop in your movements to catch him looking more unsure than youâve ever seen, and youâve never been more perplexed. âIâm completely serious right now. Go out with me?â
âWh- I donât even-â you sigh, cutting your senseless muttering off to cross your arms over your textbook. âWhatever happened to a simple ânoâ sufficing, darling? Arenât there a million other girls for you to go and pester? Godric knows youâve got an entourage following you half the- What are you looking at?â
Amazingly, Theoâs expression has lost all trace of vulnerability and now displays a slightly faraway look, his signature lazy grin in full effect. âSorry, I didnât hear a word after you called me âdarlingâ.â
Resisting the urge to hit him over the head with your textbook, you take a deep breath and grasp the potential weapon tighter in your hands before speaking. âAs hard as it is for me to believe that girls actually fall for this rubbish, your history with them shows that they do. Donât think for a second, Iâm going to let you use me like they do.â
Theo considers your words for a few seconds, mulling them over as carefully as though heâs trying to solve a brain teaser. Eventually, he seems to come to a satisfying conclusion, because he tucks his hands into the pockets of his trousers and tilts his head. âSo you need me to prove Iâm serious about this⊠and then youâll say yes?â
âOh, for the love of-â Huffing, you turn on your heal without saying another word and storm out of the library. Theo doesnât follow you, allowing you to clear your head and think about the incredibly odd interaction.
Youâre climbing through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room when you realise you never actually refuted Theo and his theory to make you go out with him. Whether or not it was on purpose, you canât quite decide.
Over the next few weeks, you start wishing you had stopped Theo before he could start trying to prove himself to you.
You canât go a single day without the question of going out with him popping up. Much to your bewilderment, it isnât always him asking. Sometimes itâs his friends, sometimes itâs students at the Gryffindor table who are sick of the multiple owls every morning flocking to your table with a note in their beaks. Sometimes itâs even your friends.
âI mean, really,â Hermione says at breakfast, huffy as always when reprimanding someone. âItâd be benefiting everyone if you just went out with him. Why donât you, anyway?â
âHeâs a Slytherin,â Ron butts in, talking to Hermione as though heâs explaining something to a child. He takes a gigantic bite of his toast before speaking, his next words coming out muffled. âSurely thatâs reason enough.â
âNo, that isnât reason enough,â Hermione says sternly, furrowing her brows. âA good reason would have been all the girls heâs always with. Of course, thatâs flown out the window recently. Heâs also never given them as much attention now that I think about it.â
âHeâs definitely not the worst of the group either,â Harry adds, leaning in as nosily as Ron. âNot like weâre talking about MalfoyâŠâ
âDonât you two have Quidditch tactics to be discussing?â you snap, exhausted by the subject already. The two boys hold up their hands in surrender, before shuffling down the bench. Whether thatâs to be closer to the Quidditch team, or to get away from you before you start throwing hexes - you arenât certain.
The fact youâre awake early in the morning on a Saturday isnât helping your sour mood, and the Quidditch match being between Gryffindor and Slytherin only adds to this.
âWeâd better go and get a good seat at the front, so we arenât on our tiptoes for the whole game like last time,â Hermione says, already sliding off the bench. You give your cup of coffee one last longing look before you allow yourself to be dragged away.
You havenât even made it onto the Quidditch pitch before youâre already wishing for that cup of coffee to give you strength, because you find none other than Theo standing outside the Great Hall in his green and silver Quidditch robes.
As soon as he spots you, Theo plasters on that charming smile of his and opens his mouth, no doubt to ask you if you could talk privately.
Hermione interjects before he gets the chance. âDonât bother, Iâm leaving.â She simply sighs when you look at her, betrayed. âHeâd have convinced you anyway! Iâll save you a seat.â
You watch her leave, helplessly before turning to Theo and crossing your arms. âYes?â
âI have a proposition for you,â he says simply, getting to the point. The proposition has, without a doubt, got something to do with you and him and a trip to Hogsmeade, but you gesture for him to continue nonetheless. You canât deny itâs been entertaining watching Theo come up with new ways to ask you out these past few weeks. âIâll throw the match and let your lot win if you go out with me.â
This startles a laugh out of you, something between a chortle and a gasp. âOh, you cheeky bastard,â you exclaim, but you canât help grinning. That was quite possibly the last thing you expected him to say. âFirst of all, I think my lot is perfectly capable of winning on their own. And secondly⊠as funny as it would be, Iâd rather not have your death and Malfoyâs subsequent imprisonment in Azkaban be on my conscience.â
You only realise just how wide your smile is when it starts to fade under Theoâs unwavering gaze. His lips twitch up into a smile and you immediately frown as an automatic response. âWhy are you looking at me like that?â
âYouâre bantering with me,â Theo says, grinning as though heâs extremely pleased with himself. You realise with a jolt, that yes you were bantering. âOne step closer to agreeing to go out with me.â
âThatâs not happening,â you protest, but it sounds fairly weak, even to you. âLike I keep telling you, Iâm not going to be one of those girls.â
Theo shrugs. âAnd I think you already know youâre not one of those girls. Itâs fine, I can wait.â
The relaxed manner in which he says this has you flabbergasted to say the least. Truthfully, you arenât completely sure why you havenât just agreed at this point. No one in the whole school is used to witnessing such extravagant displays from Theodore Nott, so youâve accepted the fact youâre an outlier in this particular subject area. Youâre starting to think Hermioneâs right, and itâs pure stubbornness thatâs keeping you going.
âYouâll be waiting a long time then,â you say, giving Theo a bland smile.
âNah,â is all he says, the smile still gracing his unperturbed face. âKeep an eye out for me in the Quidditch stands.â
Theo winks at you before walking away in the direction of the pitch and you linger in the castle for a good few minutes before snapping out of it and walking in the same direction.
You find Hermione quickly at the front of the Gryffindor stand and youâre about to ask how long until the game starts when Lee Jordanâs voice begins to boom from the commentator stand.
âStrong start for Gryffindor with Katie Bell taking the Quaffle and- nope, Vaiseyâs taken it and passed it onto Urquhart, his fellow Chaser and the new Slytherin captain.â Youâre thankful for Leeâs commentary as itâs easy to follow and you probably wouldnât have a clue if it werenât for him. Surprisingly, he keeps it professional enough for a while. âGinny Weasley tries to take the Quaffle after a near hit there to Urquhart, thanks to new Gryffindor Beater Jimmy Peakes and that very solid Bludger over there. Unfortunately, he missed-â
âJORDAN.â
âSorry, Professor McGonagall, I meant fortunately. Slytherin Chaser Mattheo Riddle now has the Quaffle and seems to be aiming to score and- oops! Heâs missed, thanks to Gryffindor Keeper Ron Weasley. Good on you, Weasley,â Lee says, unable to be impartial as shown by McGonagallâs glare. âAs for the Slytherin Keeper, Nott seems to be distracted by something in the Gryffindor stands. Or should I say someone.â
Laughter echoes in every stand, much to your utter humiliation and some people even start whooping and cheering in your direction. Theoâs antics are common knowledge at this point, but it doesnât make the laughter any less embarrassing. You try and maintain a shred of dignity by standing still and glaring as hard as you can at Theo. Horrifyingly, he starts to fly in your direction.
Lee looks at McGonagall before speaking, but she merely shrugs helplessly, looking flustered herself. âEr, well it seems Slytherin are open for Gryffindor to score. No one seems to be taking advantage, however, as I think I can speak for everyone when I say we want to know whatâs going on with Nott and Y/N.â
Glancing at the others, you realise Lee is right and all the players are hovering in place, making no move to continue the game. They look partly confused, but mostly nosy.
Theo stops just outside the Gryffindor stand, his attention focused wholly on you. You raise both eyebrows in question, waiting for him to speak. âGo out with me.â
âUnfortunately, I canât quite hear what Nott is saying, but I think we can all guess heâs asking her out again,â Lee says, causing a few more cheers and even a couple groans. âTake the hint, mate.â
âTheo, get back to the game!â you hiss, wrapping your arms around you as if itâll shield you from everyoneâs eyes. âYouâre embarrassing m- What the fuck are you doing!â
Theo swings a leg over the side of his broomstick so that heâs sitting completely facing you, legs dangling dangerously off one side. Lee sits up a little in his booth and McGonagall looks positively horrified. âFor unknown reasons, Nott is balancing precariously in a position no Quidditch player wants to- Merlin, heâs hanging off his broomstick!â
Everyone in the crowd screams and shouts when Theo slips off his broomstick, but they quieten down and watch with fright when they see heâs still holding on with both hands. You think youâre going to faint.
âTheo,â you plead, with the same voice youâd use to coax a bloody kitten out of a tree. âGet back on your broomstick. Please.â
âOnly if you go out with me,â Theo says, eyes determined despite breathing a little heavier. The broomstick is thin and despite his strength, itâd be hard for anyone to maintain a grip for long. âSay youâll go out with me and Iâll get back on.â
âJust say it!â Hermione grabs you by the shoulder to shake you.
Professor McGonagall seems to have shaken out of her previous daze and begins scrambling around for her wand while Lee narrows his eyes to better assess the situation. âGodric, Y/N. Just say âyesâ and end everyoneâs misery already.â
âButâŠâ you trail off, hands shaking as you keep your eyes on Theoâs white knuckles still gripping the broom. âI donât want to encourage this stupid behaviour.â
Theo rolls his eyes as though he canât believe youâre still objecting. He shakes his head at you, though his chest is shaking with laughter. âGo out with me, and I swear Iâll never do anything stupid again. Fucking hell, Iâll quit Quidditch altogether if you want.â
You open your mouth to say something, youâre not sure what, but before you can get a word out, Seamus Finnigan pipes up from beside you. âPersonally, I say let him fall off the bloody thing.â
Tutting, you turn to Theo just to find the idiot raising an eyebrow challengingly. His left hand begins to loosen on the broomstick, deliberately.
âTheo, donât you dare.â
He drops his left hand completely and you scream, the noise drowned out by everyone elseâs yells.
âOKAY!â you yelp, heart in throat as you watch Theo dangling from his broomstick with one hand, clearly struggling. âOkay, Iâll go out with you, you stubborn idiot!â
The Gryffindors that hear you, begin to cheer, setting off the other houses and once McGonagall sees Theo begin to pull himself up on his broomstick, she visibly relaxes, slumping in her seat as she clutches her chest. Lee soon gets the message. âFinally, after a good month of watching Nott pine pathetically, Y/N has agreed to go out with the poor bast- Er, beggar. Sorry, Professor. By the way Nott, youâve got detention for a week.â
Now sitting normally on his broomstick, Theo grins at you like the cheeky bastard that he is, with elation clear as day on his face. You struggle to fight off your own grin and you can tell by his expression youâre not doing a very good job at it. âPull something like that again and Iâll push you off your broomstick myself,â you warn him, though it lacks any real threat. You were more worried than angry, and it definitely shows. âOkay?â
âNo more stupid behaviour,â Theo promises, sounding sincere as he nods, messy hair falling into his eyes. The wind blows it out of the way almost immediately and you find yourself wanting to do it with your fingers. âAfter this, though.â
You furrow your brows as Theo flies close enough to the Gryffindor stand to get off his broomstick and hop right into the crowd, landing next to you. Broomstick in hand, Theo doesnât take his eyes off you when he holds it out to Hermione. âIf you donât mind, Granger.â
Clearly baffled, Hermione gingerly takes the broomstick from him and watches the two of you, as enraptured as the rest of the school.
You face Theo properly, looking up at his eyes to see them glittering with pride and achievement. You tilt your head in question, wondering why he hasnât yet returned to the game.
Theo answers you by gripping your waist to pull you into a stupidly dramatic, dizzying, wonderful kiss. His lips are soft against your own and cold from the wind, but the shiver that runs down your spine has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the way Theo is pressed against you.
You could go on forever, but the cheers and claps and hollering around you remind you that youâre surrounded by all your peers and, Godric, your teachers.
Pulling away, you clear your throat and attempt to gain back some of your dignity by keeping a serious face. Theo attempts nothing of the sort as heâs still wearing a silly grin. You try and avoid his eyes for the sake of your nerves and you mutter the first thing that comes to mind. âErm, good luck then. I hope you win.â
This is the wrong thing to say surrounded by your fellow Gryffindors as a few of them boo at you.
Theo rolls his eyes at the dramatics, while you simply scowl, pointedly at Seamus who seems to have booâed the loudest. Hermione is beaming at you when she hands Theo back his broomstick, though she also gives a little frown directed at Seamus.
Getting back on his broomstick, Theo hovers near you outside the stand. You lower your voice to a whisper that only he can hear. âI still hope you win.â
Theo shrugs, looking more relaxed than youâve ever seen him during a Quidditch game. âIâve already won, darling.â
Out of panic, you introduce Spencer as your boyfriend to your life-long situationship. Next thing you know, Spencer is your plus one at your friendâs wedding. There, the pieces start to fall right into place. [ 14.8k ]
Includes fem reader; roommate Spence; fake dating; awkward flirting; sexual tension; very heated make-out; food and alcohol consumption; smut.
     The dress' zipper was stuck midway, and you werenât flexible enough to reach it.
      âShit.â You muttered under your breath, twisting your arms behind you like a pretzelâone from above and the other from underneath. Your fingertips barely grazed the zip, and the sweat and frustration were already leaking out of your pores.
      âYou okay?â Spencer asked from behind the tall dressing room curtain.
      âI think Iâm stuck,â you replied in a whiny tone.
      âDo you need help? Should I call someone?â
      âYou get in here.â
    âUhâŠâ he hesitated for a moment before he dragged open the curtain just enough to reveal his big eyes.
      âQuick!â You yanked him inside by his wrist.
      âOkay, okay!â He clumsily obeyed. âChill out.â
      âDonât âchill outâ me. Help me.â You stood in front of him, giving him your back. âIt wonât go up or down.â
      You watched him through the mirror as he hunched over to get a better look at the problem. âItâs⊠eating the fabric. Hold on.â
      Great.Â
      An exhausted puff of air escaped you.
      This was the fourth dress already and neither fitted right. You were on the verge of a breakdown by now, and the constant stinging at the back of your eyes had you blinking up to the ceiling way too much. Mostly because of the dresses, but also because of the reason you were shopping for one in the first place.
      One of your best friends was getting married next weekend and the news hit you like a truck. If it had happened at any other point, you wouldâve jumped around to celebrate, but youâd been so close to hitting rock bottom lately that getting her invitation almost dragged you down completely.
      This was not about youâyou kept repeating yourselfânothing ever was, but it felt like the world was conspiring against you. Everyone around seemed to have their shit together all of a sudden. They kept moving forward, making permanent life decisions, having babies, moving abroad with the love of their life⊠you were at that age, where the in-between felt much like a failure, and it all started six months ago when your dream job was taken away from you out of nowhere. And while some people your age were buying houses, you were forced to move out of your old apartment since you couldnât afford a place on your own anymore. Even a studio apartment the size of a matchbox was too expensive, so your only option was to move into a place with two men to save some money.
      It was the only post available on Craigslist that came close to your budget.
      (You were hesitant about it at first, but after meeting up, you admitted they werenât bad at all. One of them was gayâEthanâand the other too smart and a germaphobeâSpencerâso neither would dare to touch you inappropriately, which was your biggest concern about living with men you didnât know. The place had nice natural lighting, smelled good, and had a great location, near a hospital and public transportation. And although the room available was smaller than how it looked in the pictures, you couldnât complain. It fit your double bed and had a private bathroom.)
      So, you took it.
      At that moment, every dream you once had was ripped out of the picture and now you were living aimlesslyâno purpose whatsoever. It was so bad that sharing a home with two guys became the most exciting thing in your day-to-day life. Their company healed you a little every day without even noticing. With the occasional movie nights, random parties at home with poker (strip poker if you were drunk enough) just the three of you plus whatever guy Ethan was seeing at the moment; shared joints on the balcony or rooftop, or drinking some beer while watching a random soccer game that only Ethan truly enjoyed. They were the reason you smiled at least once a day and it was impossible not to bond with them.Â
      Naturally, Ethan and Spencer became two of your closest friends.
      Which was enough reason for Spencer to be fingers deep inside the back of your dress.
      âAlmost there,â Spencer said before a harsh snap blared around.
      âDid you tear it?!â You peeked at him over your shoulder.
      âItâs perfectly fine, donât worry.â
      You let out a relieved sigh. You were free at last.
      âThanks.â You kept the dress in place with both palms over your chest and locked eyes with him through the mirror.
      âDonât you have a similar one at home?â Spencer quirked his brows. âLooks like the one you used for your date the other day. How did it go? By the way?â
      Turning on your heels to face him, you said, âAwful,â while wrinkling your nose.
      âOh.â He frowned, pursing his lips.
      âWould you choose a dress for me, please?â You were quick to change the subject. You were also at that age where most dates were a waste of time. âIâll buy the one you like the most. I wanna go already.â
      âI really like the first one.â He nodded, flashing a tight smile.
      That was the one you had liked the least. The silky fabric was nice, but the vintage flower pattern wasnât something youâd normally wear.
      âReally?â
      âItâs classic. And elegant. Something Princess Diana wouldâve worn on a casual summer night,â he paused for a moment, sticking the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, then said, half smiling, âExpensive looking.â
      You smiled back at his sweet comparison. He often saw things so much differently as you did, so maybe that was the dress meant for you.
      âAnd itâs all about the accessories you wear, too,â he confidently added.
      âI really liked the third one,â you said.
      âI donât know. It was too short.â
      âWhat? You donât want me showinâ a little skin?â You teased him in your gremlin voice.
      âIâŠâ an adorable laugh rolled off his chest. That voice always made him laugh. âItâs not really wedding-appropriate.â
      You pursed your lips and said, âFine,â gently scooching him out of the room.
      Once back into your normal clothes, you headed out to return all the rejected dresses to their corresponding section. You were probably going to wear the one Spencer mentioned you had at home, anyway.
      You were about to go to the cashier when a familiar voice called your name from somewhere behind you. You froze and your mind got polluted with memories in an instant. It was the voice of someone you had buried very deeply a long time ago.Â
You gulped and pretended you didnât hear, searching for Spencer with your eyes, but your name was called again. Louder. Even Spencerâwho you caught at the other side of the shop in the tie sectionâheard, turning his head towards you and looking past your shoulder.
      Your name was called again, this time right behind you. You gathered courage through a deep breath and turned around. It was Jake, your life-long situationship (until a year ago), and his girlfriend (the one he started dating soon after you ended things).
      âHey,â you said so out of breath and so not interested.
      âWow,â he sort of laughed. âI havenât seen you in so long.â
      You merely nodded, raising your brows indifferently. The amount of times you had fantasized about this moment back when you still loved him, and now that you had finally gotten over him, there he was in front of you. Now that you had nothing to say.Â
      âWho is she?â his girlfriend subtly asked him.Â
      He introduced you with a stutter, followed by, âSheâs an old friend.â
      You scoffed. Did he have amnesia all of a sudden? Yes, he was your friend for over four years, but then he wasnât. After a drunken night, an unlabeled something emerged and lasted for twoâalmost threeâyears. While being with him, your light faded. You often wondered if he was ashamed of you; if he thought of you as not enoughânot smart enough, not pretty enough, not hard-working enough. He never held your hand in public, only wanted you behind closed doors, and would raise his voice at you out of nowhere. And the many times you asked him What are we? He managed to change the subject in one way or another. Â
      Pathetic.
      âAre you going to Shayâs wedding?â He asked.
      âOf course.â You remained expressionless. You werenât about to give him the pleasure of seeing anything other than disinterest from you. âSheâs one of my best friends.â
      âSo, you're a bridesmaid,â he said matter-of-factly.
      Folding your arms over your chest, you confidently answered, âSheâs not having bridesmaids.â
      Shay had said it was a small wedding, and that she was only going to have a maid of honor; her sister.
      âUh, yeah she is?â Jake gestured at his girlfriend with his brows. âPoppy here is one.â What? âShe already got the dress.â
      Your eyes darted down at the bag she was holding, a light lavender fabric peeked. That was Shayâs favorite color.
      âYou ready?â Spencer stealthily appeared and stood tall next to you.
      âSpence.â You breathed out and held his arm, begging to be saved.
      âWhat are you doing?â He asked under his breath.
      âSpencer, this is Jake, an old friend,â You quoted Jake's exact words and tone. âJake, this is Spencer, my boyfriend.â
      Those two words came out without any thought behind them. Confident and so smooth. No idea where that came from, but it was out, and Jake's face melted, giving you a tinge of satisfaction.
      Very subtly, you pinched the inside of Spencerâs arm hoping heâd get the signal and he waved at them with a tight-lipped smile.
      âHey.â Jake merely raised his brows as a greeting and clenched his jaw. âSo I guess Iâll be seeing you, too, at the wedding?â
      Spencer frowned at you.
      âWell.â You looked up at him. âSpencer might have to work, we donât know yet.â You had never doubted his profiling skills, even though you didnât understand how it exactly worked but you just hoped it was similar to mind-reading. Just play along, Spencer. âHis schedule is always so unpredictable.â
      âOh, yeah? What do you do?â Jake asked him.
      âUh,â Spencer cleared his throat. âI work for the FBI.â
      âYou donât seem like youâd be a fed,â Jake sort of laughed, leaning on Poppy for approval.
      âI know,â Spencer replied as he reached inside his pocket to quickly flash his badge. âMost people donât believe me.â
      Jakeâs jaw clenched again.
      âHe works at the Behavioral Analysis Unit,â you chimed in like the proud girlfriend you suddenly were. âThey want him because of his beautiful, gifted brain.â
      âRight.â Jake raised his brows, his eyes ping-ponging from you to Spencer as if he was trying to study everything about you two.
    âWell, weâre kind of in a hurry.â You reached for Spencerâs hand. âSee you next weekend.â
      You led the way out of the situation and continued your walk to the cashier.
      âWhat was that about?â Spencer subtly asked.
      âI panicked,â you looked up at him and winced with guilt.
      He didnât seem mad, just⊠confused. âWho is he? If you donât mind me asking.â
      You didnât mind, but Jake wasnât someone worth talking about. It would be a waste of time and saliva.
      âItâs a long story,â you merely said.
      By the time the dress was paid for and inside a paper bag, you met Spencer outside the shop. Heâd put his sunglasses on and rolled up his sleeves.
      Right then, you realized: Spencer was way cuter than Jake. Plus, that move he made of showing off his badge made you both proud and flustered.
      âThank you for playing along.â You bumped your arm with his as you made your way across the street.
      âDidnât have much of a choice. Iâm pretty sure my arm is gonna be bruised by tonight.â
      âOh, donât be a baby.â You rolled your eyes. âI didnât pinch you that hard.â
      Five sunny blocks later, you stopped at an ice cream shop and ordered chocolate chips for both. One of the few things you had in common with him was your go-to ice cream flavor.
      While you went for an immediate lick, Spencer asked for a tiny spoon.
      âWould you go with me, then?â You asked once outside the store.
      âWhat? The wedding?â
      You nodded, giving your ice cream another lick.
      âIf you want me to, yeah. Iâll have to ask for a day off or two.â
      âAnd would you be willing to act like my boyfriend?â Your voice sort of faded.
      âWhat are you trying to prove?â He asked, his attention trained in the ice cream.
      âThat Iâm enough to be someoneâs girlfriend, I guess.â
      âWhy wouldnât you be?â
      You huffed out an annoyed breath. âSpenceââ
      âFine! Iâll go.â
      âThank you.â You sighed and tied your next words with enthusiasm, attempting to make a good thing out of it. âYou have a bunch of suits so you wonât have to shop for anything.âÂ
      âWhereâs the wedding?â He asked.
      âNew Hampshire. The countryside.â Not your favorite. âItâs gonna be hot so maybe you shouldnât wear one of those suits with many many layers.â
      âWasnât planning to.â
      âIâm sorry Iâm making you spend money on this,â you said to Spencer, taking two steps on the airport line, ID and tickets in hand.Â
      You couldnât help but feel guilty about it, even when you were well aware he had no trouble with spending money. His job paid well and when you first heard how much money he made, you wondered why he chose to live with two other people instead of renting a place alone. Â
      I donât like coming back from work to an empty home, was his honest answer. It was adorable and easy to assume he wanted to have a family someday. Â
      âOh, youâre not making me do anything,â he replied nonchalantly. âI agreed to come.âÂ
      âHow many days off do you have?â you asked through a yawn. Youâd come straight from your shift at work and the exhaustion was already reaching your bones. Â
      âA week.â Spencer's tone emanated a tinge of surprise. Â
      âThatâs⊠a lot.â You frowned. Â
      âI havenât taken a vacation in over two years so I had quite a few days accumulated. I still do. âÂ
      âI only have the weekend.â It was a relatively new job, so you didnât dare to ask for an extra day off. âBut Iâm sure you can stay there with my friend without me. So you can enjoy the place.âÂ
      âI might go to New York, actually.âÂ
      âOh,â you replied, taken aback. He had already made plans without you. âThatâs⊠perfect.âÂ
      Soon, your turn came and the flight attendant scanned your tickets, motioning to go straight ahead. You continued your walk through the boarding bridge and your pulse quickened with each step that took you closer and closer to the plane. You wouldâve much preferred to spend some more money on a car rental, but Shay had bought you the plane ticket without a particular reason (you suspected it was her guilt for not making you a bridesmaid) so you had no other choice. Â
      Deep breaths. Â
      âAnd you do know the main reason youâre here is to act like my boyfriend, right?â You repeatedly kicked your knee against your bag.Â
      âUh, yeah? Thatâs what we agreed on.âÂ
      âJust wanted to make sure. We might have to act differently, and the place⊠itâs a small town. Boring. Nothing to do.âÂ
      âOh, I love small towns.âÂ
      You didnât. Small towns take the gossiper side out  of people. And you, bringing Spencer, was definitely going to be in peopleâs mouths. Â
      You reached the plane and your heart rate spiked to its limit. You tripped as you stepped a foot in. âCrap.âÂ
      Spencer was quick to keep your balance by holding you by your elbow from behind. âYou okay?â He asked.Â
        All you did was nod.Â
      The musty smell hit you right away, and no amount of aerosol disinfectant could get rid of the evidence of the hoard of people that had just gotten off. It made you uneasy, and what topped the awfulness of it all was your seat. Right next to the wing.
      Spencer put your bags in the overhead compartment and settled next to you. âYou sure youâre okay?â He fastened his seatbelt.
      âYeah, I justâŠâ You blew out a breath. âHate flying.â Â
      âWhy?â He asked. You shot him a glare and wiped it off right away. His look was curious. He wasnât judging, just wondering. âDo you want to change seats?âÂ
      You shook your head. âJust the thought of being in the air in a small place and no exit to steady ground in case of⊠an emergency Iâ I donât know. Every time Iâm on a plane I can smell death.âÂ
      âFlying is safer than driving,â he began. âThe overall fatality risk is zero point twenty-three percent. You would have to fly every day for more than ten thousand years to be in a fatal plane crash. If you want a comparison, the chances of dying in a car crash are one in a hundred and one.âÂ
      âMh.â You shut your eyes, a tight knot forming in your stomach. âI appreciate that but itâs not helping.âÂ
      Spencer sighed and reached for your hand, enveloping your tight fist. âItâs only an hour and seventeen minutes flight.â Â
      He didnât let it go until you decided to. His hand remained on top of yoursânow more relaxedâfrom the moment the plane took off, even when it got a bit sweaty at some point. It was a smooth flight for the first twenty minutes, then a big gray cloud got in the way. It shook the plane and you clung to Spencerâs entire sideâarm and leg wrapped around his arm and leg.
      âImagine weâre inside jello,â Spencer said close to your ear.Â
      âHuh?!â You breathed agitatedly. Your stomach was twisting. Â
     âI wish I had one with me but use your imagination. Close your eyes,â he softly said, waiting for you to obey. You also let go of his body and went back to a more appropriate position. âPicture a pea inside jello. If you shake it, the pea itâs gonna move but it wonât fall through. Itâs the same with us right now. Weâre the pea and the pressure around the plane is the jello keeping us from free-falling. Itâs quite literally impossible for the plane to fall. Itâs physics.âÂ
     âI wasnât very good at physics at school,â you managed to reply. His voice soothed you. âBut⊠It makes sense. I think?âÂ
     When it happened again, you thought of yourself as a pea in jello.Â
     Rural New Hampshire had its charm during Spring. Â
     Big, leafy trees welcomed you as soon as you hit the road from the airport, and they stunningly surrounded almost every street; the blooming flowers scattered everywhere painted the place with their vibrant colors; the rivers flowing with crystal clear water made you want to get in and soak your feet⊠It was beautiful, really, the perfect place to spend the weekend, yet you couldnât help but feel gloomy as you now stood in front of Shayâs parents' (vacation) houseâa big âon saleâ sign planted in the garden. Â
     The trunk of the taxi slammed shut and Spencer made it next to you with your luggage in each hand. Â
        âAre we going in orââÂ
     âGive me a minute,â you cut him off with a harsher tone than intended.Â
     A cloud of dust arose around you as the taxi drove off, and you didnât bother to wave the air in front of you to avoid inhaling it. You hoped youâd choke on it. All you were thinking of was how you wouldnât be a bridesmaid but a total stranger to herâJake's girlfriendâwas. Â
     The porch door swung open and there was Shay and her big smile approaching you with open arms.Â
     âI imagined youâd be more thrilled about seeing your best friend,â Spencer commented quietly enough.Â
     Shay squealed your name and ran to you, going for a hug you didnât feel like returning.
     âIâve missed you so much,â she said, tightening the hug.Â
     âMissed you too.â You forcefully wrapped your arms around her. Â
     Your gut got filled with butterfliesâthe heavy and horrible kind. Spencer was right, you werenât thrilled about seeing your best friend at all. Â
     She let go of you and her eyes immediately darted to Spencer. Youâd told her you were bringing someone, but you didnât mention who. Itâd been a while since you two last updated each other about life so she didnât even know about how atrocious yours had been for the past six months, let alone the fact youâd moved in with two strangers.
     âUh, this is Spencer, my boyfriend,â you introduced him as the person he was here to be.  Â
     Spencer waved at her with a thin smile.Â
     âBoyfriend?â She gave him a toothy grin. âWhy didnât you tell me?âÂ
     âOh, we havenât been together that long.â Spencer reached for your hand and glanced at you as he said, âHow long has it been?â Â
     âA week today.â You intertwined your fingers with his.Â
     A week today youâd asked him to come here with you, so it made sense. Â
     âAw, so itâs like your weekiversary,â Shay smiled before turning on her feet to lead the way inside her home. Â
     âYou okay?â Spencer asked under his breath, giving your hand two gentle squeezes. Â
     âYeah.âÂ
     You had to be. Â
     You let go of his hand and followed Shay as she guided you up the stairs to your room for the night. Â
     âItâs not big but has a private bathroom.â She stood by the door while you and Spencer settled your bags. Â
     Awesome, Spencerâs face said, and went to check it right away.Â
     âHey.â Shay placed a soft hand on your arm, gently squeezing it. âAbout Poppy being a bridesmaidââÂ
     âDonât worry about it.â You cut her off. Just hearing that name stirred your blood. And you didnât want to hear her excuse. Â
     âYouâre not mad?â Her brows knitted together with guilt.Â
     âIâm hurt.â You crossed your arms over your chest. âBut Iâm sure you have your reasons. I just⊠donât want to hear them right now.â
     Soon after Shay left, you and Spencer agreed to enjoy the few hours you had left of sunlight outdoors and changed your airport outfit to a light sundress, keeping the sneakers.Â
     There was no particular destination whatsoever, you just walked instinctively, following the dirt path surrounded by trees and with the soon-to-be setting sun right in your faces.Â
     âIs something going on with you and your friend?â Spencer asked, both hands inside his pocket. âI noticed some⊠tension.âÂ
     You took a deep breath. You wondered how obvious it was or if it was his profiler skills that gave it away.Â
     âShe told me she wasnât having bridesmaids,â you began, taking another deep breath before continuing. Spencer carefully listened to you talk all about your history with her. From the moment you two became friends in high school, graduation, the first time getting drunk, plans youâd made together but never went through with any of them, first boyfriends⊠Every single moment that made her your friend, until now. âThen I hear from my ex that she is having bridesmaids and that his new girlfriend is one. Iâm not sure how to feel about it. A part of me thinks Iâm exaggerating butâŠâÂ
     Youâd reached a small river by then and were now leaning against a tree. Its leafy branches fell perfectly to block the bright sunbeams from your eyes, allowing you to look around without shades.Â
     âItâs not an exaggeration at all,â Spencer said. âItâs definitely something you two need to talk about eventually, and Iâm not saying you should end the friendship, but it sounds to me like you need to make new friends.â He lifted his glasses to his head and gave you an honest glare. Â
     The nature around shifted the color of his eyes, making them look more greenish instead of the light brown you were accustomed to.Â
     âWell, I have you.â You gently nudged his arm. Â
     Spencer scrunched up his nose. âYou need more friends than just me and Ethan. People that donât live with you and would actually make you a bridesmaid at their wedding.âÂ
     You shot him a threatening glance and took a few steps away from him, farther down to the shore of the river. He didnât have to be that honest. Â
     âThereâs not much I can do now,â you shrugged it off. âIâm here for her, at her wedding, and Iâm gonna show up as a simple guest thatâs there to have fun.âÂ
     âAnd Iâm gonna be there next to you.â Spencer reached your side, his upper arm brushing your shoulder. You smiled. He was someone worth keeping around. âSo, uh, the guy from the other day was your ex-boyfriend?â
     You didnât even notice that information had slipped out. You had no other choice than to talk about him. Sort of. Â
     âNot really, but we had something,â was all you gave him. Spencer was never pushy when it came to your feelings, so he let the topic go.
     A soft breeze swirled around, playing with the ends of your dress. Your mind switched gears with it and soon, you decided you werenât the bitter and the forgotten friend anymore. Â
     âI feel like I need to know more things about you if weâre going to pretend to be together.â You turned to face Spencer. âWe werenât very convincing.âÂ
     âWas I too cold?â
     âWe both were.â You looked up at him. The wind was having fun playing with his hair, too. âWhatâs your love language?âÂ
     He smiled, nodding to himself for a moment with a faraway look. âUh, physical touch.âÂ
     âBut you hate being touched,â you were quick to say. Â
     âItâs not that I hate it? I just donât think itâs ever necessary, especially with strangers. But with the person I likeâ âhis smile widenedâ âitâs different.â
     You hummed. âI think itâs gonna be weird if weâre this distant, then.â You gestured at the space between you two. âIf weâre not gonna kiss, we have to at least be touchy enough.âÂ
     âIâ I donât mind.â He gulped.Â
     âWhich part?â You smirked. âKissing or being touchy?âÂ
     Gulping once more, he added, âUh, neither part. I told you you could count on me.âÂ
     You made a small choking sound, not quite a laugh, turning your face away allowing the heat to rush to your cheeksâSpencer Reid wouldnât mind kissing you and it made you a bit giddy. Â
     You looked at him again and sighed.Â
     The thing about Spencer was that you liked him, from the very first moment. He wasnât hard on the eyes and youâve thought about him as a man once or twice. Not a brother or a friend. A man, who youâve seen naturally flirt (in his own style) with some girl at a bar youâd dragged him into; a man who was soft-spoken, honestâtoo honest sometimesâand carried himself with confidence most of the time; a man who didnât hesitate to go with you to the store from around the corner in the middle of the night because you had a cravingâyou missed him a lot when he was away for a few days in a row because of a case (craving or not). He was a good man, and those were rare in your life.Â
     Call it an innocent crush, which was more intense in the beginning, but it still settled somewhere not that deep inside you.Â
     âShould we practice, then?â You half-joked. Â
     âR-Right now?â his voice came out slightly high-pitched.
     You swore his cheeks got tainted with the faintest shade of pink that wasnât there seconds ago.Â
     âYeah, just one soft peck.â You shrugged. A kiss from sweet Spencer would brush away your bitterness forever. You closed the gap between you two and stood in front of him, playfully batting your lashes. âSo?â Â
     His Adamâs apple bobbed up and down, and the pink on his cheeks turned glowy. It wasnât the first time youâd made him blush. Those times often involved you walking around the house with your non-existent pajamas (a big T that went barely under your butt and underwear).Â
     This was different, though. You were fully clothed with just a few honest words.Â
     Clutching his waist by his shirt, you took the initiative and gathered confidence, bringing him closer. âCome on, no oneâs around.â
     âYeah.â He let out a breathy laugh. âThatâs the problem.â
     Your mouth hung open for a moment and laughed too. âWhat does that mean?â Â
     He licked his lips and cupped your face with gentle handsâhands that almost took up your entire face. He kept his lips tense, as if holding back a smile, and scanned your face up and down. His eyes had now shifted to their natural color, or maybe it was his large pupils that made them look darker. Â
     âNow Iâm not so sure if we should.â His eyes lingered on your lips. Â
     âWhy? Are you scared of falling in love?â You used your gremlin voice and made sure to keep your bottom lip tucked in your teeth with the last word. Â
     He laughed a little, his nostrils flaring ever so slightly and he leaned until your noses touched. Your breath hitched and you were just as flustered as him at the snap of a finger. Â
     He was a different kind of pretty from up close. Â
     âRemind me again why are we doing this?â He dodged your question with a question, his breath fanning your lips.Â
     Your knees went weak and you barely managed to say, âI honestly donât know anymore.â   Â
     You wouldâve never thought Spencer could make you this nervous, but there you were, legs quivering at his proximity.Â
     Proximity you had asked for. Â
     He said nothing, just smirked while leaning until your lips touched with a soft peck that lasted a second. Tentative. Nothing out of this world, yet your heart was trying to flutter out of your chest. He stayed there, a kiss away from your lips, then went for another one. More confident. A proper kiss rather than a soft peck but still closed mouth. You even felt him smiling through it, and once he pulled back, you wished it had lasted longer. Your breath hitched again and the lack of air made you light-headed. Â
     And just like that, your crush on him made its way back to the surface.
     You rolled your lips together, letting go of his waist and hiding a smile that could give you away. Your cheeks were burning and a sudden rush of lust hit you right then and there. Â
     âWas it okay?â His hands cupping your cheeks relaxed but remained there, touching you. Â
     âYeah.â You lied. Youâd completely lost your train of thought. âAre you okay?âÂ
     âYeah.â He nodded, letting you go.Â
     âWeâre okay,â you murmured under your breath to convince yourself of it in a way and gently patted his chest. âGood job.â
     Brushing past him on your way down the river, an odd feeling ghosted up your gut. Â
     There was no coherent thought running through your mind. Youâd kissed him before, according to Ethanâa drunk strip poker night was to blameâbut it wasnât even your memory. So this⊠god, this was a true first kiss. A sober kiss. An intentional kiss.
     You stayed quiet most of the walk back home. Which was odd coming from Spencer and you wondered if heâd felt things tooâŠ
     Spencer was leaning on a wall of pillows heâd built against the headboard, one hand behind his head while the other held the book heâd found in Shay's library after the dinner you ordered.Â
     âAre you okay with us sleeping in the same bed?â You sat cross-legged next to him and reached for your moisturizer on the nightstand. Vanilla and lavender scented. âBecause I could goââ
     To Shayâs room, you were about to say, but he quickly interrupted you. âYeah, yeah. Fine.â
     You let out a teasing laugh, squeezing a few drops of lotion across your arms and spreading a thin layer all over. âThere arenât ghosts here to pull you by your feet, you know.âÂ
     Any chance you had, you teased him about being scared of the dark. Youâd even given him a pumpkin nightlight for last Christmas as a joke, but youâd caught the orange light shining under his door at odd hours of the night.
     âI know that.â He kept his eyes glued to the page.Â
     You finished applying moisturizer all over your bodyâthighs, knees, feet, and handsâand lay on your side, propping yourself on your elbow and resting your head over your hand, chin angled up to delight your eyes with the view: Spencer, fresh out of the shower, reading a book.Â
     An involuntary deep sigh escaped you. You hadnât stopped thinking about the kiss, not even in the showerâyou had to hold back the urges to release some⊠tension; your fingers had drifted somewhere between your legs, massaged right there for a moment. And just for a brief moment, your fingers were his fingers, and the hot water cascading down your body were his lips, kissing you everywhere⊠You had snapped your hand away when the pleasure started to build and flipped the shower tap to the cold side to punish yourself.Â
     Now, those same urges were flush against your skin, and he was right there next to you, preciously focused on whatever he was reading.
     Vivid images of you straddling him and leaning down to kiss his neck as he kept on reading flashed before your eyes, and your pulse thrummed with lust in more than one place.Â
     You wanted to kiss him again.Â
     âShould we practice some more?â You blurted out.Â
     A slow, flustered smile took over his lips; his eyes still wandering through the pages.Â
     âSpence.â You gentlyâseductivelyâtook the book out of his hands.Â
     He cleared his throat, meeting your gaze. âIf thatâs what you want, y-yeah.âÂ
     You put the book aside and lay on your stomach, now propping yourself up on both of your elbows and glancing up at him with fluttering lashes. âYou have to want it as well.â
     He scrunched up his nose and adjusted himself, lowering on the bed to lay on his back and be at the same level as you. A bit too tense, both hands clasped over his stomach, and his slightly damp hair fell messy over the pillow.Â
     You followed his every move, your smirk growing wider. âIs this a yes?âÂ
     Spencer merely nodded, licking his lips.Â
     Being this close, you could take in all of his beauty. Kind eyes, sun-kissed skin, barely sunburnt at the apple of his cheeks and bridge of his cute button nose, manly bone structureâgod, that jawlineâ, his growing beard barely darkening the skin above his upper lip and chin, his so very kissable lipsâŠ
     You lifted your hand closest to him and brushed a piece of hair away from his forehead. His eyes darted to your lips and it was your cue to lean down for a closed-mouth kiss, to which he kindly and so sweetly responded.
     âIs that okay?â You whispered against his lips, searching for his eyes, but he had them closed.
     âYeah,â he replied just as quietly.
     You licked your lips and went for another, just as soft. âAnd that?â
     âYeah,â his voice came out low and his hands slowly untangled, falling to his sides and grazing your bare thighs.
     You squeezed your thighs together and scooted closer to him so you could have more comfortable access to his lips.  Â
     Kiss.
     Kiss.
     Another kissâit lasted longer and you dared to give a short, teasing lick that pulled a low sound from his chest right away.
     âHow about that?â You murmured and his eyes shot open.Â
     They were blazing with an unfamiliar lust.
     He answered by adjusting on his side, eyes trained on your lips, and dragged one hand across your back until the appropriate curve of your buttock, sending tingles through every nerve. His tension was slowly fading and leaned toward your mouth going for another kiss, but you pulled back and caught the hint of a smirk at the corner of his lip.Â
     âDonât get too eager,â you teased him, even when in reality, it was you whose heart was already getting excited.Â
     âIâll try,â he said and cupped your cheek strongly, leaning fully to capture your lips.
     You kissed him back and mirrored him to a certain point, laying on your side too, one hand cradling the side of his head while never letting his lips go. You scooted closer so your bodies would almost blend and with every new movement, you got a whiff of his natural scent, so manly and so damn intoxicating it only made kissing him a far more exhilarating experience. His breathing grew harsher and the kiss got louder and wetter and desperate by the minute. You couldnât help but laugh a little through it, feeling his lips curve into a smile against your lips, too.Â
     This felt like an old-fashioned make-out session with a high-school crush, and the more it kept going, the further you wanted to take it. Before you knew it your body acted on impulse and in one swift movement, you were on his lap, straddling him exactly as youâd fantasized minutes ago.
     Another dark hum rolled off his chest, his large hands settling at either side of your hips.
     âI⊠we should stop,â you pulled away, yet planted a wet kiss on his lips a second later and pressed your hips down against him. A lump nestled right below your cuntânot hard, but it was getting there.Â
     âMh.â He tugged your bottom lip between his teeth.Â
     Spencer was getting too eager and you wouldâve stopped it right there. You really wouldâve, but the sounds he made were delightful and his hands roaming all over the length of your body were driving you insane. They could melt into your flesh by how hot they were.Â
     Your head was spinning. He was an incredibly good kisserâgod, his tongue, his hands, his breathing, the way his short beard scraped your skin... Itâd been too long since youâd felt this wanted, so you didnât pull back and let yourself go, whining into the kiss instead and corresponding to his eagerness, as long as it didnât go beyond this.
  Another dark sound from him filled the narrow space between your chests. He brought you down closer to him by your hips, digging his long fingers into your skin as if he wanted you to properly feel how hard he was getting just by kissing you. And oh boy, you did feel him. He was hard nowâreadyâand an exquisite pulse grew on your cunt. You were so ready for him, too.Â
     You inclined your face to the opposite side mid-kiss, changing the rhythm to a slower but still breathy pace. Smiling. Your tongues swept together kiss after kiss, and the moment warm arousal leaked into your panties, you snapped off of him, breaking the kiss abruptly.
     âOof, okay.â You laughed, bringing your palm to your swollen lips. âThat wasââ
     Spencer's face was flushed, his lips also swollen, his mouth parted and his chest heaving in and out, startled. Maybe by how unexpectedly youâd ended it or because he didnât recognize himself. At least you didnât. The lust had shape-shifted him in a way. That was not the sweet and nerdy Spencer you knew.
     âYeah.â He exhaled, his brows knitted together.
     Your eyes trailed down his body and made eye contact with his evident erection. Your mouth hung open with half a smile and struggled to swallow. It didnât feel that thick against you.Â
     You were evidently staring, so he followed your eyes down to his body.
     âShit!â He rolled on his stomach and nuzzled his whole face against the pillow like a frightened ostrich wanting to hide from the world.Â
     There was his adorable little self.
     âYou okay?â you asked through a small laugh, biting your bottom lip.
     âYeah,â he muffled his voice.
     âTrynnaâ hide something?â
     âMhm.â He nodded. Â
     There was no way you were going to sleep in the same bed after this very heated practice.Â
     âOkay,â you cleared your throat, standing up from the bed and you were sure the patch of arousal would soon leak into your pajama shorts. âIâm⊠gonna go inside the bathroom and once Iâm out, Iâ youâ we are gonna behave, okay?âÂ
     Spencer gave you a thumbs-up while his face was still buried into the pillow.Â
     You ran to your bag, quickly grabbed a clean pair of panties, and tippy-toed to the bathroom, locking yourself in. Your forehead landed against the door.Â
     That was incredibly hot.Â
     And so damn stupid.
     A soft knock on the door startled you, quickening your heart.Â
     It could only be one person.Â
     You took a deep breath gathering yourself before replying, âCome in!â as casually as you could.
     âWow.â Spencerâs voice entered the room.Â
     You locked eyes through the full-length mirror in front of you right away.Â
     Yeah, wow.
     You hadnât seen him wear that beforeâblack dress pants, a belt with a silver buckle, a purple button down with two top buttons undone that allowed you to get a glimpse of a gold chain you had no idea he had, no tie, and black dress shoes.Â
     You gulped at the sight. Â
     âNo Converse?â You pointed at his feet with your brows, taking half a step to the side so the reflection would be mostly him. You had to admit, he looked straight out of a fashion runway.Â
     âOh, I didnât know what the dress code was, and with youâ âhe gestured at you with a lazy handâ âlooking this beautiful, I have to be at your level,â he said through a small timid laugh. âI brought a few other button-downs in case you didnât like this one.â
     Warmth rushed to your cheeks. âBeautifulâ wasnât uncommon in his vocabulary to describe you, but it never ceased taking you off guard. More so now, after last nightâs heated make-out and the fact that this was the first time you saw each other since. (You had slept in Shayâs bedroomâthe smartest moveâand only talked to him through a dry ten-second phone call this morning to wake him up and tell him to get ready.)Â
     âNo, you uh, picked the right color,â you played it cool, turning around. His shirt along with the pink on his cheeks matched with the different flowers on your dress. The dress youâd bought because of him. âI was thinkingââYou walked up to him and adjusted the neck of his shirt, even when it was perfectly ironed. You were about to start pretending, and you considered yourself very good at it, so you might as well start with some small gesturesââThree kisses should be enough. Throughout the whole thing?â You raised your brows searching for his approval. âWe could kiss three times and everything will be okay.â Â
     âO-okay, yeah.â He was clearly nervous. âSounds great.âÂ
You shot him an evil grin and said, âMaybe not as intense as last night butâŠâhoping it would ease some of the tension.
      âOh, please donât bring it up⊠yet Iââ he shut his eyes with pain.
     âOkay, Iâm sorry, â you said through laughter, leaning on him and intertwining your fingers. âI wonât.â
      Making him blush was becoming addicting.
     The wedding venue was at a wineryâof courseâand it was close, so it only took a fifteen-minute ride to get there. You showed your invitations at the gate and a young man guided you to where the ceremony was taking place. A few people had already arrived and were scattered around the place. Some familiar faces here and thereâincluding Jake and Poppy who only earned an indifferent smile from youâbut no one close to you enough to reach out. You just waved at them from afar with a fake grin.Â
     A waiter offered you wine and you both declined it. You didnât want to drink. Alcohol made you sappy, and chatty, and your goal for these few hours was to go as unnoticed as possible. Â
     âYour ex keeps looking this way,â Spencer subtly muttered as you found empty seats on the left side of the aisle.Â
     Your eyes immediately found Jake and there he was, standing tense and staring with a hostile glare.Â
     âYeah, heâs a creep.â You then turned to Spencer and watched him unclench his jaw. He cared, apparently. âHeâs gonna keep doing that, and will probably try to talk to you, or me, or both at some point so beware of that.â
     âShould I worry about getting punched?â Spencer then asked with genuine concern. âHe looks aggressive.â
     âHe may look like a bully but heâs incapable of getting physical.â He only raised his voice. âSo youâre safe, donât worry. If he tries anything, Iâll be there to body-block him,â you mocked him, earning a sarcastic ha-ha from him. He wasnât as embarrassed now.Â
     Soon enough, every chair was taken, and the soft ambiance music dropped quiet. Â
     âIs this okay?â Spencer spoke over the sudden buzzing of people talking, placing his palm over your bare thigh, just above your knee.Â
     That single motion was enough to take you back to last night's events, making your mouth dry. Now a glass of wine would come in handy.Â
     You looked at him and smiled, trying hard to stifle a sigh. âItâs perfect.â
     From the look of his half-smile, you knew he was having the same flashbacks. His eyes flickered down to your lips, raised his other hand to your face, and casually stroked your cheek with his thumb, and a hesitant movement brought him close. Â
     A boyfriend would take the chance to steal a quick kiss, and a girlfriend wouldnât back up and dodge it. It happened so quickly. You werenât sure if it was you who took the decision or him, or if it was an unspoken mutual thing, but his lips pressed against yours so casually as if it already was second nature. Meaning, the practice from last night and you teasing him about it today was working.Â
     âTwo,â he murmured against your lips, his thumb never ceasing to stroke your now burning cheek.  Â
     Two kisses left.Â
     You took a deep breath and looked forward, slightly shaking your head to bring yourself back to earth. You regretted establishing a certain amount of kisses because, god, you wanted to kiss him again already. All you could do was lick your lips to feel the ghost of his lips and feed those urges.Â
     Your phone buzzed inside your tiny purse and it dragged you out of the Spencer-struck trance.Â
     A message from Shay.
     SOS.
     You frowned but were quick to text back. Â
     What happened?Â
     The typing bubbles appeared and disappeared several times before her reply came.
     The officiant dumped us. Thereâs no one to marry us.
     Your eyes widened. âShit.âÂ
     âEverything okay?â Spencer asked.
     You hesitated for a moment and looked around, careful that no one else would hear and panic. âThe officiant is not coming. There might not be a wedding.â
     Spencer frowned his lips for half a second before casually saying, âI have a marriage officiant license.â
     Your entire face wrinkled with confusion as your mouth opened to ask how, but it wasnât the time to question him. You believed anything he said, anyway, so you wasted no time letting Shay know.
     One minute Spencer was sitting next to you as your fake-boyfriend and the next, he was getting whisked away from your side by one of the best men to officiate the wedding. It took them a few minutes to start the ceremony, but it was happening and you decided to stand in a lonely corner in the front to capture the moment on your phone and waited there until he showed up.Â
     Your grin was big from the moment Spencer stood there in front of everyone, tall and genuinely excited about this, like heâd been waiting for a moment like this his whole life. He started his speech and an odd warm feeling grew in your chest that was released in quiet laughter.Â
     â... This is uh, my second time doing this, by the way.â Spencer looked at the crowd and then back at the soon-to-be newlyweds. âBut I promise you, this is real. You will be officially married by the end of the ceremony.â Spencer quickly searched for you in the sea of people and smiled when he found you. The way he had to use his hands when speaking was so endearing. A deep sigh finally escaped you. âThe funny thing is that I wasnât supposed to come. I guess you could take this as a sign that you were meant to get married today. So letâs thank my now girlfriend for saying yes to my very awkward question a week ago and making me her plus one.â
     The only one who laughed was youâalong with the hoard of butterflies that filled your stomach. Another sigh slipped and your heart swelled even more. No one has been this proud of being with youâeven if it was a lie and just for the weekendâit was more than anything your ex-something ever gave you. The one who was there a few feet away from Spencer. The one who instead of looking at his girlfriend who was there too, was looking at you. You shot him a disgusted glare and brought your attention back to Spencer. The only person worth staring at.Â
     âI wish I knew more about you guys so I could make this more special,â Spencer added.
     âItâs already very Special,â Shay replied to him then turned her head to the crowd and shot you a glassy glance, mouthing âthank youâ.Â
     It really was special.
    Spencer continued with the official speech, one heâof courseâknew by heart, and soon, Shay was kissing her husband, causing a collective loud cheering and clapping for the couple. You, on the other hand, cheered and clapped for Spencer, who was adorably clapping for the couple, too. He seemed so proud of himself.Â
     You locked eyes during the commotion and neither of you tore it as he made his way back to you with a permanent smile on his face.Â
     âThat was amazing!â You met him halfway offering him a fist bump, which he awkwardly enveloped with his palm. You realized then, thatâs not what a couple would do, but no one was paying attention. Still, a sudden urge to kiss him rocked youâas congratulations, maybe, or to erase the awkward fist bump. âYou were amazing.â
     âI wouldâve prepared a real speech if Iâd known this was gonna happen but I guess it was okay, better than nothing.â
        âIt was so good. You saved the wedding, bâ bro.âÂ
     Babe almost slipped, and thank god you were quick to correct yourselfâin the most embarrassing way. Bro. Your entire skin was crawling, but he didnât seem to notice.Â
     âI heard thereâs lobster for lunch,â he said with excitement, smiling and nodding all at once.Â
     Biting the inside of your cheek to hold back a smile, you grabbed his hand, lazily intertwining your fingers as you already felt accustomed to. It was a nice fit.
     You were the last ones to sit down at the table (there were many, for 6 people each). The only one with two free seats was the one farthest back, with people you didnât know, so you didnât complain.Â
     From there, everything turned out the way it was supposed to. The toast, lunch (with said lobster Spencer ate with enthusiasm), the husband and wife dance, a moment for the familyâs speech, and the party at last.
     It was still earlyâthe sun was nowhere close to settingâbut you knew once the loud music began, you could leave, even when you liked dancing. Although, you couldnât leave the party without having at least one dance with Spencer, who had already rejected a bold woman who asked him to, right there in front of you.
     âYouâre not gonna reject me, are you?â You stretched out your hand to him.Â
     He raised his brows with amusement. âYou wanna dance?â
     âWhy not?â You shrugged. âItâs a party. We kind of have to. For the whole experience.â You narrowed your eyes. âI donât wanna miss the opportunity to dance with you.â
     To much surprise, he gladly accepted.Â
    Everyone was doing their thing on the dance floor, and since it wasnât too much of a slow song, you took him to an empty corner and enjoyed the music there. Just the two of you, clumsy feet that allowed a subtle sway of your bodies.Â
     âWho was the first couple you married?â You asked him, your arms wrapped around his neck.
     His hands settled perfectly on your ribs, tight enough to send a wave of heat swept all over. You shouldnât have had a glass of red wine at lunch.Â
     You blinked and gulped and cleared your throat all at once.
     âEthan and one of his girl friends,â he replied with a tinge of humor.
     âThereâs no way Ethan is married to a woman,â you said through a laugh.
     âHe was. They got divorced months later.â Spencer laughed along and a sudden vacant look took over his eyes as he continued, âHe, uh, was very sick once, and he ran out of health insurance. I offered to marry him first but back then gay marriage wasnât legal.â
     It wasnât something Ethan talked about often, but heâd mentioned it to you. He was healthy now.Â
     âYou wouldâve married Ethan?â You sort of mocked him just by picturing the two getting married.Â
     âOf course, heâs one of my best friends. Iâd do anything for him.â
     Your chest swelled with a deep sigh. He spoke about him so fondly that it was nice to think he talked about you that way to others, too. Â
     âSo you did the closest thing and got the marriage license,â your voice softened. Spencer merely nodded. âYouâre a good friend.â
     âSo Iâve been told,â he smiled shyly.Â
     âYou are,â you insisted. âI mean, look at what you did today, for Shay, who isnât even your friend. And what youâve been doing for me since last weekend. Pretending to be my boyfriend and help me prove something to a guy that isnât even worth mentioning.âÂ
     His lips fell into a thin line as he frowned with concern. âWas he really that bad?âÂ
     âHe justâŠâ your eyes flicked behind Spencer and found Jake staring at you both. He was just standing there alone with a drink in his hand. Now that you saw everything from the outsideâand after experiencing just a few hours as Spencerâs girlfriendâyou realized your relationship with Jake wasnât healthy. You were so used to his crumbs that they soon turned into enough fuel to stay, and you had no idea what you were missing. You looked back at Spencer. âHe never loved me so he never went out of his way to show me anything. It was just sex in the beginning, I got attached and we spent a lot of time together even when I felt like my presence bothered him. I never dared to ask him for anything either so I guess I did this to myself,â you scoffed, looking away. Â
     Spencer searched for your eyes. âIâm sorry.âÂ
     You brought your attention back to him and could only stare into his eyes for a second. You hated that talking about it still made you brittle.Â
     âDonât be. This is,â âyou dared to lock eyes again and took a sharp breath through a shaky smileâ âvery healing.âÂ
     The lights went down and Spencer cupped your face to caress your cheeks with the pad of his thumbs. He was a good liar. The way his eyes were glimmering⊠even in this low light, you would think it was love if you knew what it looked like in someone elseâs eyes.Â
      Or perhaps it was a reflection of your own.Â
       You sighed again.Â
     One of his thumbs went from your cheek to your chin and barely grazed the outline of your bottom lip. A hint of his soft perfume reached your taste buds as he leaned closer, his tender nose circling against yours.Â
     It made you all fuzzy inside.
     âWould it be okay if I resort to our second kiss?â He asked, so politely, his voice just above a whisper.Â
     You gave him a little nod through a smile. He angled his face and captured your lips as he already felt used to, and you swore the wet warmth of his tongue grazed your top lip for a fleeting moment. A moment that sent you to outer space. It may have been the music that drastically changed into a soft melody, or the way his lips perfectly molded against yoursâjust because he wanted toâbut you felt like crying.Â
     Actual tears burned your eyelids, a tiny sob dripped from your lips to his in the middle of it, and something inside you snapped into place.
     There wasnât a third kiss. There was no need to. And even if there was a chance to have it, you wouldâve dodged it.
     A kiss from Spencer wasnât supposed to make you tear up, and since then, you couldnât even look at him. You called it a night right after the dance; went back to Shayâs place in a very quiet taxi ride, and locked yourself in your room without saying goodnight. It was unfair to him, you were well aware, but the last kiss shifted something in you.Â
     You sat on your bed, your eyes lost in the void while your thoughts raced. Your feet were swollen now because of the heels and your head was starting to pound. You were exhausted, and the only thing that could help you through everything all at once was a bubble bath.
     You didnât waste much time preparing the tub. Shay had everything and more to make it a therapeutic session, so while the tub filled, you poured a few drops of essential oil, threw in a bath bomb, and stripped out of your clothes. As soon as you dipped yourself into warm water, your muscles loosened one by one, and soon, it was just you, your breathing, and Spencer in your mind.Â
     You shut your eyes and frowned at the immediate memories. You simmered in them. All of them. But the one that lingered the most was the heated make-out. He was so clear under you, that you could almost reach him all over again. You smiled, and the rest of your body naturally reacted, squirming a little in the tub and clenching your thighs. You sank more into the water, allowing it to reach every exposed patch of skin so it would act as a warm blanket. Your handsâwhich were resting at your sidesâmade their way to your chest and you couldnât hold the urge to graze your nipples as the memory of his tongue on your lips came.Â
     Spencer was, without a doubt, the best kiss youâd ever had, and knowing that heâd gotten turned on by just a kiss and that you couldâve had him insidâ
     Your eyes shot open and you quickly sat upright, rubbing your face with both hands to erase those images. A bubble bath was a bad idea. You drained the water right away and took a shower instead. You werenât about to torture yourself with the what-ifs.Â
     By the time you were dried and in your pajamas ready for bed, an ever-so-familiar stab in your temple dragged you out of your room to search for some painkillers, not without checking if the coast was clear first. The entire house was dark, except for the light sneaking under Spencerâs door and the moonlight trickling through every open blind. It was enough to lead your way downstairs to the kitchen and help you riffle through every cabinet and drawer for some ibuprofen, or anything that could help.
     âHey,â Spencerâs voice came from behind.
     Your heart almost jumped out of your ribcage. âShit!â Your hand flew to your chest and turned around. His silhouette was approaching you. âJesus, Spence, you scared the shit out of me.â
     âSorry,â he laughed a little.
     âDid you float down here or something?â you frowned.Â
     âNo?â he chuckled. âI was in the back, in the library.â He gestured with his head.Â
     âOh.â A soft breeze snuck in through the slightly open kitchen window and it pebbled your skin, making you brace yourself.Â
     âI couldnât sleep.â He took another step closer. Now you could see his face clearer. His so-beautiful face.
    You turned around and poured yourself some water from the sudden nerves.Â
     âI didnât have the chance to thank you for coming with me to the wedding.â You cleared your face of any emotion and turned to face him, leaning your butt on the kitchen counter and taking a sip. âIt was fun.â
     âI had a lot of fun too, yeah.â He nodded eagerly. âThank you for inviting me.â
     A thick silent heartbeat passed and he opened and closed his mouth as if wanting to say something, but he didnât.
     You flashed him a tight smile and turned around once again to wash your now empty glass, saying, âWe have an early flight tomorrow so⊠we should probably go to bed.âÂ
     You faced him for the last time and brushed past him to feel him close, murmuring a soft goodnight.Â
     He replied by stealthily following your every move upstairs, and the moment you reached the last step, he grabbed you by your wrist, freezing you completely.Â
     âHey,â he softly said, turning you around by your hip. Your eyes had adjusted entirely to the darkness, so it was easy to tell heâd stopped two steps down, leaving him at the perfect height for another kiss. âYou okay?âÂ
     âYeah,â you casually replied, though the fact that his hand was resting on your hip was starting to drive you insane. âItâs just a headache.â
     âItâs not, though.â He took half a step. âDid I do something?â
     You scoffed to yourself, shaking your head. You couldnât let him feel guilty about your stupid confused feelings. You couldnât just leave him there thinking he was the problem.
     âNo, you⊠were perfect today, thank you.â
     He looked up at you with puppy dog eyes and tight lips. âCan I hug you?âÂ
     You melted from head to toe and you couldnât help brushing a curly piece of hair away to admire those eyes properly. Something on them was different but you couldnât quite grasp it. You just nodded and he wasted no time enveloping you entirely in his arms. His nose, mouth, and chin got buried in the crook of your neck like they belonged there.Â
     Your eyes closed on their own as you smiled and took it all in. His hands, his soft hair tickling your face, his breathing on your skin, the peace and ticklish warmth that spread through you while being there in his arms. You leaned your cheek on the top of his head. He smelled like soap. Â
     He hugged you even tighter then, as in saying thank you, his tender hands rubbing your upper back then barely unglued himself away from you, and slowlyâso very slowlyâtrailed his hands down to the curve of your waist, pulling you closer, while his face stopped a few centimeters away from yours, the tip of his nose grazing your cheek.Â
     âWeâŠâ His breathing ghosted the corner of your lip. âWe still have one kiss left.âÂ
     His voice came out in a whisper, so quiet you thought you were hearing things.
     âThe night ended, Spence,â You exhaled a timid laugh. âYouâre free.â
     âBut I donât want it to end,â he replied, pleading, almost. âCan I kiss you again?âÂ
     You shuddered completelyâgave in completelyâand struggled to breathe out an audible yeah as you gave him a slight nod.Â
     Yeah, he echoed you and went for an open-mouth kiss that took away all the air in your lungs. It pulled an immediate moan out of you, but you didnât think too much of it.Â
     Tears pricked at your eyes again, but this time you didnât let them ruin the moment. You wrapped your arms around his neck and tangled your fingers on the back of his hair. Kissing like this was dangerous but you needed this one kiss to last until your lips wore out.Â
     Your legs almost give up right there and you wouldâve slipped off the step if he hadnât gracefully pressed you against the wall to keep you both steady. His hands went from your waist to enclose your face and kept kissing you with his whole body like a starving man. He was being harsh yet careful and you were so focused on how he set ablaze every part he touched that you forgot how to breathe. He was making you dizzy and you wouldnât mind if you passed out from it.Â
     He slowed down, his tongue slowly lapping your top lip. Then, he withdrew from the kiss, enough to keep your lips and breathing touching. You fluttered your eyes open and got a glimpse of his face from up close. His eyes were blazing with the same sinful light you met last night.
     âThatâs three,â he shakily murmured.
     âYeah,â you swallowed thickly and tilted your chin up in search of his lips again. You grazed them but didnât take it further. It was over. âThanks, I⊠should go to my room now.â
     He loosened his grip just enough for you to slide away and soon his hands were nowhere near you, giving you your definite way out.
     You ran the two steps to your room and shut the door, leaning on it lightheaded. Now, every beat of your heart screamed his name. You breathed in through your nose with your eyes closed for a moment, and at that exact moment, two soft knocks on your door called you.Â
     And before you knew it, the door was open and his lips were back on yours.Â
     It turned chaotic quickly; a mixture of clacking teeth, desperate breathing, and very clumsy legs trying to keep yourselves standing.Â
     This was off-script. This was no longer about pretending, it was about what you and him truly wanted.Â
     You moaned into his mouth, receiving all his ferocity while holding onto him by the nape of his neck.
     âOh,â he broke the kiss, evidently distraught by his own behavior. âIâm sorry, this isâ what is this, what are weââ
     âI donât know.â You stole a quick kiss
     âIâm so sorry,â he whispered. âI shouldnât haveâ Iâm sorry.â
     âSpence.â You brushed every piece of hair away from his gorgeous face. âI like it.â
âYou do?â He gulped.
     âClearly.â You stole another kiss to which he kindly responded. âWe could continue where we left off last night.â
     âYeah.â He kissed you back between smiles. âYeah, Iâd really like that.â
     That was all you two needed to go from two starving people to tender and calm beings who were just happy to be there. You shut the door with your foot and kept on kissing right there in the middle of the room. You kissed slowly this time, your tongues matching each otherâs pace and your breathing steadying.Â
     His hands resting on the small of your back dared to travel down to your ass and gripped each side too gently for your liking. He was still trying to be respectful while also showing you he wanted this to go further, so you took the lead and guided him to the edge of your bed while never ceasing to kiss him. He let your lips go and sat there, brought you close to him by your hips, nuzzling his face between your covered breasts. He took a moment to breathe you in, his hands sneaking under your pajama shirt.Â
     Before he could ask you to take it off, you lifted it over your head and tossed it away, leaving you in complete display for him. You were nothing but your skin and panties, and your tits sat perfectly in front of his face. He got hypnotized by them right away and didnât hesitate to wrap his lips around your left nipple with a pleased hum.
     âMh.â Your eyes closed on their own and you threw your head to one side, lifting both hands to support yourself on his shoulders.Â
     He sucked on it, flicked his tongue tenderly, and each gentle stroke sent waves of pleasure straight to your cunt. You squeezed your thighs together to ease the growing delightful ache. Deep down you knew he was a tits guy, so you let him take his time on them. He went from one to the other, sucking and nibbling and licking.Â
     All the while, you decided to straddle him and with his help, you rested all your weight over his lips. Your heated core instantly met the hardening lump underneath his pajama shorts you were already familiar with and it only made the ache worse. Your walls clenched just by thinking about having him inside you and your hips began to grind back and forth with a mind of their own. You needed any kind of friction and he read your body right away. He was quick to indulge, gripping your hips tight and followed your rhythm, helping you with your rocking motions. It worked, but it wasnât relieving. If anything, it made you need him even more.Â
     He withdrew from your tits with a subtle pop and looked up at you again. His eyes were glassy.
     âYou okay?â He asked.Â
     You merely nodded and leaned down to capture his flushed, pillowy lips. He was growing confident and now his hands had no trouble exploring your bodyâyour thighs, up to your hips, and dragging them down to your ass. He cupped it tight and pressed you harder towards him.Â
     âCan we fuck?â you whispered against his lips.Â
     âYeah, yeah, we can.â He gulped. âLetâs lie down.â
     You stood from his lap and did as he said. He didnât. He stood there, admiring your almost naked body up and down. He was still fully clothed, though his erection straining under his pajama shorts didnât leave much to your imagination. He wasnât wearing anything under, the clear sight of the outline of his cock was making your mouth dry. Empty.Â
     You bit your lip and tapped next to you, signaling him to join you. He stripped out of his clothes first, shirt and shorts gone in one fell swoop. It was perfect, of course, it was fucking perfect and ready for you to sit on. Your mouth was so incredibly empty.Â
     You scooted over the edge while still laying on your side and looked up at him as you went for a little taste of his cock. You didnât really need your hands for support since his length stood perfect on his own but you reached for it anyway to feel it. So warm and soft. You pulled the skin back and exposed the head, glistening with his arousal. You wrapped your lips around it with a whiny hum and closed your eyes. He hissed between clenched teeth and caressed the top of your head for a second before he gently pushed you back.Â
     Mouth parted, Spencer leaned down and crawled next to you, lying tall on your right side. He captured your mouth while one hand went between your legs. You did the same and reached once again for his cock, and he made a pained sound again but didnât let your lips or cunt go. He rubbed you over the thin damp fabric, a sense of relief brushed away some of the ache. You needed to feel him properly, though, so as you pumped his cock with short strokes, you guided his hand inside your panties.Â
     The kiss had grown tired but your lips still remained touching, panting.Â
     He swiftly obliged and spread your wet folds, finding even more wetness between them.
     He shuddered. âIs this okay?â
     âYeah,â you smiled.Â
     A dark sound got trapped in his throat the moment you gave his cock a stronger pump, and continued, moving the skin back and forth which inspired him to increase his pace on you.Â
     âOh, Spence,â you moaned, searching for his eyes.Â
     He found them and mirrored your brows knitting together. âYou okay?â he asked again.
     You tugged your bottom lip between your teeth and nodded. He captured your lips and pressed his fingers even more and touched you properly with all four fingers, spreading your arousal all overâgentle, wet, sounds reaching your ears.Â
     Youâd forgotten completely you were pleasing him too for a moment until his cock twitched under your touch.Â
     âCan we fuck already, Spence?â You asked against his tired lips.
     âY-yeah I just, fuckââ he massaged your clit with the heel of his hand while daring to slide one long finger inside you and another one right after. âLet meâ Even this feels incredible.â
     You bucked your hips against his palm and he began to slide his fingers in and out, each movement making his palm hit your clit. It felt so good, and the pleasure was right there you were sure it wasnât going to take him much to make you finish if he kept that pace.Â
     âDo we uh, have condoms?â He asked.Â
     Shit.
     âNo? I⊠I didnât think this would happen so... Do you?â
     âNo,â he breathed out. âI didnât plan this either.â
     âFuck.â You shut your eyes.Â
     He kept his pace, slid another finger inside you, and tightened around all three of them. He was good at this, and pleasure kept building, gently pumping his fingers in and out while his thumb searched for your slippery clit.
     God, your mind was fogging up already with bliss.
     âAre we, uh, trying to prevent pregnancy or diseases?â He then asked.Â
     Talking about pregnancy and diseases shouldnât be hot but with his fingers inside youâgoing in and outâit was hard not to be turned on by it. His voice reached you deeply you could only imagine how deep his cockâ Â
     âHuh?â you opened your eyes.
     He kissed the corner of your mouth. âWe could do things without a condom. If⊠weâre both clean.â Â
     âI know Iâm clean.â You kissed him back. âAre you?âÂ
     âYeah,â he smiled into another kiss. âYeah, I am.âÂ
     He used his entire hand to rub you and spread your folds, playing with them and tweaking them between his fingers.Â
     So close.Â
     âI could just stay here,â he said, rubbing everywhere with all four fingers. âGod I could stay here forever, youâre perfect.âÂ
     âSpence,â you breathed out. Not having him inside you while he was right there was torture. âRight now Iâm not thinking about anything other than you fucking me so please.â Please, please. âI need you.âÂ
     âWhat day of your cycle are you?â Â
     âWhat?âÂ
     âJust answer me.â He said and sped up his hand movements
     So, so close.Â
     âI⊠I donât know? I donât keep track.â You bucked your hips against his palm.
     God, it felt too good.Â
     âWhen was your last period?âÂ
     âMmm,â you bit your bottom lip. âThe day I asked you to buy me some tampons. Yeah!âÂ
     âSo, youâre not in your fertile days yet,â he said to himself, almost.Â
     He kept the perfect pace and the pleasure you were so used to giving to yourself was reaching its peak, the ticklish sensation spreading through every nerve. You wanted him inside. You needed him, and your orgasm was right there about to explode.Â
     âSpence, I want you,â you whined rolling your hips at the pace of his hand.
     âI know, just let me⊠let me give you this.â He switched all his focus to your clit and continued rubbing you at a torturous exquisite pace. âLet me give you this and then Iâll do whatever you want me to.â
     His words melted in your ear at the same time pleasure claimed your body. It spread all overâhis voice somewhere near encouraging you to let goâand every part of you jerked as the bliss struck you with every flick of his fingers.Â
     Spence, you moaned, turning your head to him and searching for his lips.
     âI know.â He kissed the underside of your chin. âI know.â
     It was too sensitive; it grazed the pain and his fingers kept rubbing at a more gentle pace. He slid two fingers inside youâyou were so much tighter nowâand pumped in and out making his palm massage your clit. Youâd come out of it but somehow were still in itâin bliss. He slid his fingers out and tapped, tapped, tapped your clit while keeping his graze trained on yours, making your body and breathing jerk each time.Â
     He stopped touching you all the way and settled between your legs, his cock standing on its own right in front of you.Â
     âYouâre not on your fertile days yet,â he now confirmed to you. He guided his cock at your wet entrance and began to push the head. Slowly. âStill, pulling out itâs⊠not a method thereâs still a 4 percent chance of fuckââÂ
     âI take the risks.â You reached for his other hand. âPlease, Spence, just fuck me already.âÂ
     He propped himself on each elbow placing them on either side of your head and bucked his hips just enough so your cunt sucked all the head right it.Â
     âOh,â you both moan at the same time, his head falling to your shoulder.Â
     âOh, g-god.â He trembled and breathed in through clenched teeth sending bolts of praise through you. You felt good and he was letting you know. âMmm,â he grunted, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck and licking you there. âThatâs a perfect fit. Ah, fuck.âÂ
     The most perfect fit. It filled you in like you were made for him.Â
     He attached his lips to the underside of your chin and began to move his hips, slow at first, an exquisite roll of his hips. Â
     âIs this okay?â he asked right there against your skin.Â
     All you could do was bite your bottom lip and give him a positive whine. It was perfect. How well he fitted, how his cock slid in and out with such ease, and how every subtle movement and pulse of his cock inside you was enough to please you.Â
     The bedroom was soon aflame with your harsh breathing, taking up every space and soft moans bouncing between the walls. You stared down where your bodies met and caught a glimpse of his cock sliding in and outâin and outâalready shining and his soft dark curls milked with your arousal. Â
     You looked back up, grabbed his face to kiss him and started to meet his soft thrust, following his rhythm. Kissing him while he fucked you was a whole new experience. Because, firstly, it wasnât something you ever thought would happen, but also was a whole new level of intimacy. He wasnât just a roommate anymore (not that he ever was just that), and whatever happened after this, there was no going back. And you had to admit, good or bad outcome, it was going to be so worth it.Â
     âHarder,â you whispered. Â
     It took him three soft thrusts to give you one harsh slam, as a test almost.Â
     âLike that?â he asked, and you moaned in approval through a small laugh.Â
     God yes! Exactly like that.Â
     He withdrew his hips, his cock slipping out just enough so the head would remain inside then slammed into you again.Â
     Fuck, yes.Â
     âMh.â You frowned at him, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth. âJust like that.âÂ
     He gained rhythm by the fifth harsh slam and soon, his hips had a mind of their own. You threw your head back for a moment to take it all in. The bed was a symphony of sounds, skin slapping against skin, moans, heavy breathing, and the constant squeak of the metallic headboard at the tempo of his thrusts.Â
    You braced yourself, cupping your breasts to give him a nice view.
âSpencer, holy fuck.â You threw your head away from him.Â
     âWhat? What? Need me to stop?âÂ
     You turned your head to him again. âDonât! Donât. Please. Donât ever stop. Fuck.â You wrapped your legs around him to cage him and keep him close, allowing him to go deeper.Â
     So.Â
     Fucking.Â
     Deep.Â
     âOh, g-god,â your voice sharpened. âFuck me.â
     âThatâs what Iâm doing, sweetheart.â Spencer teased you on his way to kiss you and you couldnât hold back a laugh, right there against his lips.Â
     Of course, he was the kind of guy that made you laugh during sex.Â
     You clenched your walls around his length and kept the grip to feel every movement and twitch of his cock. He propped on his elbows again and looked down at you. Sweat gathered over his forehead and upper lips.Â
     Then, he stopped moving.Â
     âWhat?â you asked.
     He opened his mouth, his eyes flickering from your eyes down to your lips.Â
     âNothing I⊠Nothing.â He leaned to kiss you and gained back his pace.Â
     You untangled your legs but kept them angled up because his depth was delightful and simmered in it.Â
     Slam after slam had him grunting louder and harsher.Â
     âIâm gonnaâ I want toââ
     âItâs okay,â you panted. âYou can finish inside me.â
     âYou sure?â His eyes filled with panic.
     âPlease,â You nodded. âJust this once?â
     âJust this once.â Spencer frowned and began to drill into you.Â
     Hard.Â
     A pained frown took over his face, cursing between clenched teeth and then his breathing hitched. His muscles tensed and cock twitched repeatedly, then a sweet, sweet, small laugh escaped past his lips as he released inside you completely. You received every drop and caught his last low grunt with an open mouth kiss, moaning into it.Â
     Bucking his hips one last time, Spencer withdrew all the way, standing on his knees still between your legs. You watched him as he gently tugged his cock and let a few more drops drip from the tip all while he reached for his shirt to put it under you, so the cum leaking out of you wouldnât ruin the bed covers.Â
     You missed him inside you already. Â
     He plopped next to you and tangled your legs together, facing you. Â
     âYou okay?â He kissed your bare shoulder.
     âMore than okay.â You smiled and faced him, too, nestling everywhere on his warm body
     âIâm pretty sure you have to go pee now.â He kissed the top of your head. âFor your health.â
     âYou are correct,â you chuckled. âBut Iâm so cozy here.â
     âGo.â He then kissed your temple. âIâll be right here.â
     You groaned but obeyed anyway and were in and out of the bathroom in two minutes, tip-toeing your way back to him. Heâd gotten under the bed covers and lifted them so youâd lay on his arms.
     âSee? Still cozy.â He wrapped his arms around you.Â
     You rested your head on his chest and traced random lines over it, and you wished your mind would've given you peace for a little longer. You started to wonder already what this meant. Youâd been here before, after sex, in the casual stages of something and it hurt thinking this could turn into something unlabeled.
     âWhat is this?â You looked up at him and bit your tongue right away.Â
     Spencer twitched his nose, a shy smile appearing. âI think this might be an appropriate time to tell you.â
     You frowned and adjusted to face him better. âTell me what?â
     âIâŠâ he chuckled. âIâve had⊠certain feelings for you. From the moment I saw you.â
     Your eyes widened and your heart almost fluttered out of your chest. âReally?â
     âReally. And this weekend, it was⊠pure magic for me.â
     You breathed out a laugh attempting to brush away the tears stinging your eyes. âYou love magic.â
     âI love magic,â he laughed too.
     You brought your hand to his cheek and caressed him with your thumb. âWhy didnât you say anything?â
     âI didnât think youâd ever feel the same.â
     âWhy?â
     âI donât know." He reached for your hand on his cheek and enveloped it, giving your palm a soft peck. "Weâre so different.â
     âWeâll, we mustâve done something right, right?â
     âIf we hadnât bumped into your ex last weekend, I donât think weâd be here.â
     âEver?â
     âNot ever, but maybe not this soon?â
     You hummed. You thought about all the ways this couldâve happened and the only person that couldâve made this happen popped into your mind.  âWhat are we gonna tell Ethan?âÂ
     Spencer chuckled. âHe, uh, knows about my feelings for you so heâs gonna be thrilled.â Of course. âUs, together, weâre his dream come true.â
     âTogether, huh?â You snickered.
     âY-yeah I mean, if you want. Or we could be casual and keep doing this untilââ
     âWeâre not casual,â you cut him off right away. âI donât want casual. I hate casual.â
     âYeah, I wouldnât know how to do casual.â He stole a quick kiss. âAnd we already live together so thatâs⊠convenient.â
     âVery convenient.â You kissed him back.
     âI mean it.â Spencer then cleared his throat and cupped your face with a serious expression. âThis could be the beginning of something beautiful, if you let me I⊠could kiss you and care about for every day. I wouldn't hide you. I wouldnât hide my⊠my love for you.â
     Love.
     Your smile shook, tears welling up again and the only thing you managed to give him was yet another kissâanother of many more to come.Â
     Spencer cared about you and he didn't mind loving you out loud.
     âHey! My people!â Ethan ran to you two as soon as you entered the apartment, going for a triple hug and a double kiss on the top of your heads. âThought you were gonna be there the whole week.â
     âI have to work in like two hours,â you replied, âSo I couldn't.â
     âDid you guys have a good time?â Ethan smirked and kept looking at Spencer with a knowing look you couldn't quite decode. Only someone with a twenty-year-old friendship could know what it meant.
     But you and Spencer also had your own. You exchanged complicit glances right away. You had agreed on the flight back not to tell him yet. Not because you didnât want him to know but because you wanted to enjoy it first, just the two of you. It all was still too fresh and knowing Ethan, he wouldâve gathered a reunion just so he could know every detail about it.Â
     âY-yeah,â you and Spencer answered at the same time; same tone and stutter.Â
     âMy head is killing me, though," you added.
     âWe have some ibuprofen in the bathroom,â Ethan touched your forehead endearingly, checking your temperature. âYou know what else is good for headaches, though?â He quickly added and didnât wait for your answer and snickered as he said, âOrgasms, isnât that right Spencer?â He patted his back.
     âUh, y-yeah, for some people,â Spencer gulped, scrunching up his nose. âFor others, it can make it worse.â
     âThereâs only one way to find out,â Ethan said with humor raising a finger. He knew something. âNot with me, of course.â
     âAre you uh, on your way out?â Spencer changed the subject, giving you another quick glance.
     âI am,â Ethan replied. âTo the grocery store. Weâre out of beer and oatmeal and I ate your yogurt while you were gone so Iâm going for that, too. Donât miss me, Iâll be back before you know it.â
     He gave Spencer a tap on his back and left.
     Now it was just the two of you.
   "You know it's true," Spencer walked up to you. "What Ethan said about orgasms."
     "I know," you smirked and wrapped your arms around his neck, pecking his lips. "It worked pretty well last night, but we should put it to the test sometime again, just to really prove it."
     "Tonight." He rested his hands on the small of your back.
     "I'm absolutely coming back with a brand new headache after this shift, so definitely tonight."
     "Want me to pick you up after work?" He returned the soft peck.
     "You would do that for me?"Â
     Spencer stroked your cheek. "Of course, Iâve always wanted to."
me and my fascination with giving my readers a headache because if I have them, so should they
anyway
If you reached the end here's a little star for you âïž I hope it was worth your time and that it was fun for you! Iâd love to read your thoughts on it if you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reading đ«¶
warnings: pure smut, unprotected sex, creampie, soft!dom!spencer, crying during sex, praise, use of butt plug.
a/n: i think i'm ovulating. i'm sorry.
You loved the way Spencer towered over you, pressing you harder and harder into the mattress, pumping into you and filling your cunt with loads of cum. The feeling of his long cock brushing against your walls and his tip hitting that soft spot at the end was exhilarating. You loved being stuffed by him, being filled up, with his cum dripping out of you - down your legs and onto your ass.Â
This time, it felt even better because Spencer sheepishly asked if he could put a butt plug in you. You didnât know why he was so afraid of asking - you loved the idea. As soon as he said the words, you got excited, eager for the sensation of being even more filled up. You wondered how it felt for him. Were you tighter? Could he feel the plug? Would he pull it out and fuck your other hole later?
He kept thrusting long after he had already come. To be fair, he got hard again quite quickly and was clearly not done with you. He could spend all day buried inside you, with you underneath him, and you would gladly lay there, letting him do whatever he wanted to you.
âPlease donât stop,â you said between your moans.
âIâm not gonna stop, angel. Iâm gonna keep going, as long as you want,â Spencer murmured, his voice rough with desire as he maintained his steady rhythm inside you. Each thrust was deliberate, pushing you closer to the edge, making you gasp and squirm beneath him. âYouâre doing so well for me. Youâre such a good girl.â His words were like a caress, making you whimper with pleasure and longing.Â
Tears pooled in the corners of your eyes, a mix of overwhelming pleasure and emotional release. Spencer had no intention of stopping soon, not when you sounded so sweet and so wet under him. He could feel your body trembling with every motion, your soft cries fueling his relentless need to keep going.
âYouâre enjoying yourself, arenât you?â he asked teasingly.
All you could do was let out another cry.
âOh, itâs okay, baby. Iâve got you. Youâre so perfect, so perfect for me,â he said as he kissed away the tears that began to flow down your cheeks.
Now you were moaning even louder, scratching his back as he kept going, hitting that sweet spot with the tip of his cock.
âYou feel so good, so tight. Youâre enjoying having a plug in your ass, arenât you? You like being filled up, my pretty girl?âÂ
You couldnât utter a word. Your mind was hazy, reaching a high youâd never quite experienced.Â
âCome on, pretty girl, come back to me. I need you to speak up,â he said, lowering his lips to your ear, which didnât help things. His lips near your neck and his breath on your sweat-covered skin drove you wild.
âFeels so good,â you managed to say between cries, your voice trembling as waves of pleasure coursed through you. Your body was arching with each thrust, and you could barely form coherent thoughts, lost in the sensation.
âHow good?â Spencerâs voice was a low growl, his breath hot against your ear. He leaned closer, his chest pressing against yours, making your heart race even faster. He wanted to hear you, to know just how much you were feeling.
You couldnât speak anymore. You were getting closer to the edge, your cries and whimpers coming faster and louder. Your grip on the sheets tightened, your entire body trembling with the force of your impending climax.
âOh, baby, Iâve got you. You can let go. Come on, pretty. Cum for me.â His words were a soft, coaxing murmur, his hands caressing your sides as if to anchor you in the moment. He could feel your muscles clenching around him, making his breath hitch with every movement.
Your pussy clenched around him, which made him twitch, but he managed to push himself all the way to the brim, his cockhead brushing against your cervix. You could feel every inch of him, and the sensation was almost too much to bear.
âOh, God, baby, you canât be doing that,â he said teasingly, his voice strained with his own desire. He grinned down at you, his eyes dark with need, clearly enjoying the way your body responded to him.
âPlease keep going.â The words were barely a whisper, almost lost in your gasps, but the urgency in your tone was unmistakable.
âYou sure, angel?â His hand cupped your face gently, his thumb brushing away the tears that had spilled over, his eyes searching yours for confirmation.
âYes, please.â You could barely breathe, your voice a desperate plea, the intensity of your need evident in every breathless word.
âOkay, anything for my sweet girl.â He said it with a mix of tenderness and raw desire, his gaze softening as he leaned in to kiss you.
Y/n typed away at her computer as she thought about what to have for dinner, her mind going back and forth between forcing herself to cook or ordering takeout. Sighing she looked at the clock, 10 minutes left and she could pack her bag and be out the door by 5pm. Her nails clicked against the keyboard as she finished up the last report, her job just to check the BAUâs reports and finalise any details before they were sent to head office for review. It sounded easy, but each case brought in one report per BAU member and some of them ran behind more often than not, not that Y/n blamed them with their insane work schedule.
âHey Y/n.â Spencerâs voice was chirpy as he poked his head into her little office, a small smile gracing his face as Y/n grinned and ushered him in.
âHey Spence, you got more reports for me?â Y/n teased as she held out her hand, Spencer blushing slightly with a nervous smile handing her three folders with messy papers inside as Y/n shook her head and laughed.
âI swear if you werenât so cute iâd kick you out of my office for handing these to me at 10 to five.â Spencer could feel his ears burn as she complimented him, her eyes now on the paperwork as she skimmed it, she knew sheâd only have to upload his work since sheâd never found a single error in the past 3 years.Â
âThanks Y/n.â Spencer stumbled over his words as he pushed his hair back and waved, exiting her office as Y/n sighed and placed the folders on top of the others she had accumulated in the last few hours. It was a friday and she didnât want to stay late but the thought of picking it all up Monday was much less appealing.
She could hear everyone saying bye and leaving, JJ, Emily and Derek popping their heads in to wave goodbye whilst Y/n waved and continued typing up the reports.Â
âHey Beautiful.â Penelope spoke as she entered, sitting across from Y/n as they grinned at each other, Y/n taking a break to lean against her hand and stare at her friend.
âHey gorgeous, what can i do ya for?â Y/n winked at Penelope as the blonde giggled and looked at her desk.
âI fancy a sex on the beach and youâre just the gal iâm looking for to provide it.â Penelope flirted back, the two laughing as Y/n leant back in her chair and looked at her reports, she was only half way through the first of three that she wanted done. Penelope quickly stood and placed her hands on the folders, Y/n pouting at her friend as she gave her a devilish grin.
âThe reports will be here Monday, however $3 cocktails and nachos wonât be.â Y/n rolled her eyes and stood up, Penelope cheering as she watched Y/n grab her bag and turn off her computer.
âIn that case how could i say no?âÂ
Y/n and Penelope laughed loudly as they drank their fourth cocktail, a pornstar martini, the both merry as they spoke about their plans for the weekend.
âHonestly i think iâm going to be so hungover tomorrow the way weâre going that iâll be laid on the sofa all day.â Y/n laughed as Penelope spoke about her plans, Y/n agreeing as the pair ordered two more cocktails.Â
âSoâŠhow was your date?â Y/n groaned at Penelopeâs comment, sinking into her seat as she sipped from her straw.
âI thought it went really well, we shared a kiss and he promised to call me the next day. Three days later i tried to call him, which sounds so desperate now i say it but he was really nice yâknow? And it says the number doesnât exist.â Penelope reached over and took her hand, sympathising with her friend as Y/n finished her cocktail and smiled at the waiter as he brought the next round. The cute black haired man winking at her as he placed the cocktail in front of her, a napkin placed next to it as he walks away. Penelope grabbed the napkin and squealed, Y/n sitting up straight as she looked between her friend and the cute waiter.
âWell then tonight just might be your lucky night! He left his number and wrote he finishes at 11.â Y/n blushed and grinned as she took the paper, looking towards the waiter where he stood, leaning against the bar with his finger in a call signal grinning at her. Y/n turned back to Penelope and the pair giggled and began drinking their cocktails, the waiter coming over and flirting with Y/n periodically.Â
Penelope looked at her watch with a drunken grin, standing up on wobbly legs as she pulled out her phone and dialled Derek knowing he would come get her in a heartbeat.
âWell my beautiful squirrel friend, it is 10 to 11 and the hot waiter is basically undressing you with his eyes so i am going to take my leave. Donât do anything i wouldnât.â Y/n laughed, standing and hugging Penelope before she watched the bubbly blonde leave, hearing her speak to Derek as the waiter walked over.
âCan i get you another drink? On me.â His hand extended as Y/n placed hers in his, allowing him to pull her from the booth and towards the bar as she grinned at him.
âI fancy a nightcap.â The waiter grinned widely as he threw his apron behind the bar and they walked to the exit.
âWhatever the lady wants. James.â Y/n shook his hand as she introduced himself, glad she was more than tipsy for some friday night fun. She needed a pick me up and here was a handsome tall black haired waiter to provide just that.Â
Y/n stumbled as she walked, James laughing as he held her up, the pair talking about anything that came to their heads before Y/nâs phone buzzed. Pouting, she stopped walking, James holding her elbow as she answered it.
âHellloooooo.â Y/nâs voice was full of cheer as she grinned at James, wiggling her eyebrows as he dropped his head to her neck and peppered kisses along the exposed skin.
âHey Y/n, itâs Spence, are you at home?â Y/n covered the speaker and whispered to James.
âStop distracting me.â Her smile giving away that she wanted him to do it more as he pulled her into his chest and kissed her. Parting quickly as she placed the phone back against her ear.
âHey Spencey, no iâm out right now, is everything okay?â Her voice sweet as she swayed in Jamesâ arms, his hands roaming her body and pinching her eliciting drunken giggles as she looked at him.
âMrs Fredicks just knocked saying Dorito has somehow climbed onto her fire escape and sheâs got him with her.â Y/n face palmed as she moved off of James and mouthed an apology to him as she sobered up slightly.
âOh god, okay iâll be back asap, i swear i locked all the windows but he is an escape artist.â
âSorry.â Y/n hushed Spencer, thanking him for calling her and hung up. Turning to James she gave him an apologetic smile and leaned into his arms.
âI am sorry James but i have to go, my cat has decided to cockblock me.â James laughed and placed a kiss on her lips, his hands squeezing her hips as she let out a small moan.
âItâs okay Y/n, next time you come to the bar, drinks will be on me.â Y/n grinned as she waved goodbye and hailed a taxi.Â
Y/n sighed as she knocked on the apartment below hers, smiling apologetically to Mrs Fredicks as she older lady opened the door with her ginger cat in tow.
âHere you go.â Y/n apologised profusely as she took Dorito from her neighbour, the older lady waving her off with a smile.
âItâs okay, heâs a sweet boy.â Y/n thanked her again as the door closed, turning and holding her cat up to face her as she scowled at him.
âYou Mr Dorito are in big trouble.â Y/n placed kisses over his face as she cuddled him close, unlocking her apartment and letting Dorito in before she went around and found the bathroom window open. Shaking her head she closed it, she swore she had closed that before she left this morning but she must have forgotten. Sighing she kicked off her shoes and grabbed her slippers, exiting her apartment and walking over to the door on the right knocking as she waited for an answer. Spencer answered moments later with a sleepy smile, matching check pyjamaâs on brand for him as Y/n smiled up at him.
âHey Pretty boy, thank you for calling me. Doritoâs all safe and sound.â Spencer nodded and leant against his doorway as he took her in, the smell of cocktails and her smeared lipstick giving her away before she yawned and rubbed her eyes.
âThank you again Spence, have a good night.â Y/n waved to him as he wished her good night back and closed his door. Y/n entering her apartment and stripping down before flopping on her bed and passing out.Â
Y/n was awoken suddenly as she heard her phone blaring, her head pounding as she got out of bed and wandered around her apartment searching for the obnoxious noise. Finding her phone buzzing on the sofa she grabbed it and answered it quickly.
âHello?â Y/n didnât have a chance to fully wake up before she heard Penelopeâs loud voice.
âOh my god youâre okay! Thank god! Have you seen the news?â Y/n held the phone away from her ear before yawning and shaking her head.
âNo, why?â Y/n heard Penelope gasp before she said sheâd be over soon, before Y/n could say anything the phone was cut off. Sighing she wiped her eyes and turned on the tv, her jaw dropping as she saw Jamesâ picture all over the news.
âA man was detained last night after police found human remains in his house and garden. The suspect was apprehended and arrested by local law enforcement for three hours before a handwritten confession was handed to the chief. The manâs name is James Stevens and he is being held in police custody until a court date can be arranged. So far none of the remains have been identified but we have been told there was atleast three womenâs bones found with potentially more to be discovered. This was the morning news at 8am, stay tuned for the weather.â Y/n turned the tv off as she stared at the screen wide eyed, she had almost gone home with him, she could have been his next murder. She could feel her body shiver in disgust as she ran the shower, turning it up as she climbed in and tried to clean the man off her, scrubbing at her lips and cleansing herself. Climbing out she wrapped a towel around herself, hearing her apartment door open and the sound of Penelope clattering about.
âIn the bedroom.â Y/n shouted as she grabbed a t-shirt, throwing it on and pulling on some underwear as Penelope ran in and pulled her into a tight hug.
âWhen i saw the news i almost had a heart attack!â Y/n let out a small laugh and hugged her back.Â
âIâm okay, luckily Spence called me as Dorito had gotten out.â Penelope let go of Y/n and picked Dorito up from the bed, the ginger cat letting out a grumble as she kissed him dramatically.
âYou angel Dorito!â Y/n laughed and shook her head as she walked through her apartment and flopped onto the sofa, Penelope carrying Dorito as she came in and sat beside her.
âSeriously though, thatâs so creepy.â Y/n nodded as she ran her hands down her face, fingers pulling on her under eye as she groaned.Â
âWhy is my life like this?â Penelope pat her friend's arm as she grabbed the remote and turned on Netflix.
âLet's have a chill day.â Y/n nodded as she grabbed her phone and sent Spence a quick text thanking him for calling her last night.Â
Spencer grinned as he read the message, his apartment dark as he laid on his sofa, his eyes moving to the tv where he watched the video of James being arrested again. He felt pride surge through him as he stood, his hand running along the fabric of the sofa as he entered his kitchen, sighing to himself as he began cleaning the blood soaked knife.Â
Y/n smiled at Spencer as she opened her apartment door, Spence smiling back as he took in her attire, a fitted white blouse and black jeans which complimented her figure.
âThank you for walking me in, sorry it was such short notice iâm still a bit freaked out from the news.â Spencer nodded and moved so Y/n could lock her door, placing the key in her bag before turning to Spencer.
âItâs no problem Y/n, i love walking in with you.â Y/n smiled widely at Spencer as the pair began walking down the stairs, Y/n listening intently to Spencerâs ramble about the new chest move he had learnt over the weekend. His voice full of joy as he moved his hands around explaining how it would corner most opponents, his laugh contagious as she laughed too and explained how she had only won one chess game in her whole life.
âYouâll have to come round and have a game with me, iâll teach you everything.â Y/n blushed slightly as she agreed, pushing her hair behind her ear and grinning.
âThat would be amazing, thank you Spence.âÂ
Spencer walked around his apartment, his mind whirling as he tried to make everything look purposefully out of place and disorganised as he wanted everyone to believe he was. Heâd cleaned the apartment from head to toe before casually splitting coffee and placing a mug over it to make mug stains over the various surfaces. The kitchen had coffee granules and sugar sporadically spread across it to emanate use, the fridge had a mixture of fresh and out of date food, not by a lot but enough that he could be seen as forgetful of it. Heâd laid certain books out, coffee stains on specific pages and a pen that heâd broken leaked onto another one. His bed was lazily made, spraying his everyday scent onto the pillows and the sofa to make it seem like he was there often. Heâd left a few articles of clothing in a pile on the floor, all clean but purposefully mixed about to create a laundry pile. His bathroom had a toothbrush on the sink, toothpaste put in a cup and a couple of body washes sat at the bottom of the shower. A fresh towel heâd sprayed down with water hung up on the radiator, and the window cracked slightly. It looked like someone truly lived in it, as opposed to his normal almost borderline military lifestyle within the four walls. He placed a case file on the coffee table, opening it and placing pictures around to look like heâd recently looked through it, a half finished coffee sat next to it along with a breakfast bar wrapper. Nodding he concluded it was perfect before he texted Y/n to say she could come over whenever she was ready. It took her 30 minutes before she knocked, 30 minutes of pouring over each detail of his outfit and hair, making it look messy yet attractive. Opening the door he gave her a pathetic smile allowing her in, Y/n gushing over his apartment, looking at all his books and giggling at all the coffee stains.
âYou really need to cut down.â She teased Spencer pretending to be embarrassed as he cleared the half filled cup and shoved the case file into a drawer, a bashful smile on his face as he told her to make herself at home. Entering the kitchen he pretended to clean, washing the cup up and placing it down. He watched her as she sat down, her hands running over the fabric and smiling to herself at the book placed next to the seat, her head turning to read the page. Grabbing two drinks from the fridge he walked in, smiling as he handed her one and sat next to her.
âIf you ever want to borrow any of my books you're more than welcome but i canât promise they wonât be stained or full of pen marks.â Y/n giggled as she opened the drink, looking around before placing it carefully on the coffee table and clasping her hands together.
âAlright Genius, show me how to play chess.â Spencer grinned as he grabbed his board, spreading it out and spending hours pouring every bit of knowledge he could into Y/n. His mind took in each part of her as she nodded along and tried each move, her eyes lighting up when she captured a piece or pouting when Spencer won. It was so domestic, so perfect and exactly what he desired, for her to be in his space and to enjoy him as he enjoyed her.Â
Y/n yawned as she looked outside, the sky was now dark as she smiled at Spencer, his eyes half open as she watched him take her King.
âYou are way too good at this. Thank you for an amazing day.â Spencer smiled as she stood, standing with her as she gave him a hug and pulled back, running a hand through her hair.
âIâd better check on Dorito incase heâs somehow broken out again.â Y/n laughed and waved at Spencer as she opened his apartment door, his hand coming to hold it as he watched her enter her apartment. Her voice sweet as she called out to Dorito, a small giggle coming from behind the door before it closed. Spencer closed the door and sighed, itching his head from the headache heâd had all day. Trying to hold in his own thoughts and control his impulses was tiring, especially when she was sitting so close he could smell her conditioner.Â
Entering his bedroom he unlocked his bedroom door, smirking as he pulled out her underwear and laid on the bed, smelling them with his eyes closed as he pictured her laid out in front of him. Her eyes half closed and chest rising and falling as he thrust into her, his hand dropping to his cock as he released it and thrust into his palm. He imagined how sheâd look at him as he made her play her next move, her breasts bouncing as he thrust harshly into her making her moan, hand shakily grabbing a pawn and pushing it two places forward. Heâd easily take the piece and in return heâd bite her nipple, hand on her hip as she whined and clenched around his cock, his eyes meeting hers and indicating to the board. Her eyes brimming with tears as he dropped a hand to her clit and forced her closer to the edge, a choked moan coming out as she knocked over the chess pieces. His own moan cut into his fantasy as he spilled over his hand, panting as he opened his eyes and moved the underwear off his face. Huffing as he got up and entering the bathroom, showering quickly before staring at himself in the mirror.Â
He needed a plan.Â
Spencer poured over the ideas in his head as he held onto the blade in his pocket, heâd already enacted his first part of the plan and now it was time to put it all into place. Breaking down the door he attacked the lady, his knife slicing through her carotid artery and stabbed her multiple times, the glove on his hand feeling wet from the blood before he threw the knife to the side. The shoes too big for his feet stomped in the blood as he trailed around the apartment, throwing things onto the ground and finding her address book. Opening it to the correct page and smearing a bloodied glove print over the name before he left, leaving the door slightly ajar as he did.Â
Y/n cried as she sat in Hotchâs office, Penelope and JJ sat with her as they explained James Stevens had escaped prison and her neighbour Mrs Fredricks had been found murdered. She didnât know how to process the information as Hotch turned a photo over to her, an address book had been found in Mrs Fredricks apartment, Y/nâs name and number scribbled down by the lady with Doritos name next to it and a little heart. Blood covering the page as she shakily took the photo and sobbed. Penelope consoling her as JJ looked over the photo and frowned at Hotch.Â
âI think it would be best if we put you in secure housing and have someone with you until we can find him.â Penelope agreed with Hotch as she hugged her friend, Y/n nodding as she wiped her tears and stood, thanking Hotch as she left his office. Her head down as she bumped into Spencer, his eyes full of hurt as he hugged her, her tears soaking his jumper as he comforted her.
âIâm so sorry Y/n, I know how much you liked Mrs Fredricks.â Y/n nodded against his chest and sniffled as she raised her head and wiped her eyes.
âI just donât understand why someone would do that to her. She was so sweet and all because of me, sheâs dead because of me Spence.â Spencer went to comfort her but she brushed past him and rushed to the ladies toilets, his name being called by Hotch as he pretended to look concerned and entered his office.Â
Spencer grinned as he watched James struggle in his chair, tears streaming down his face as he begged for his life.
âPlease, i donât understand. I did what you wanted, i, i confessed and i didnât say anything. Please. Please just let me go. Please.â His voice cracked from his begging as he sobbed, Spencer laughing as he slowly pressed the needle into his arm, watching James eyes squeeze close before opening, pupils blown and brain slowly rotting from the drugs.Â
âI need you for just a bit longer James, just enough to get her into my arms. Then and only then, do you get to die.âÂ
Y/n hugged herself as she sat on the sofa, the safe house felt so empty apart from her and Dorito, no neighbours moving around, no opening or closing of doors. Just her and her cat, she knew an agent was outside watching but she didnât feel safe in the slightest, it had been a week and two more bodies had turned up. It had terrified Y/n to the core how similar they looked to her, and each one more brutalised than the other. Jumping she heard a knock, her hands shaking as the door opened revealing Spencer, a takeaway pizza in his hands and an apologetic smile on his face.
âIâm sorry for scaring you.â Y/n calmed her heart and smiled sadly back at him, watching him closely as he placed the pizza down and locked the door, checking outside before closing the curtains and sitting beside her.
âHow are you?â Y/n just nodded in response, opening the pizza and taking a bite as she leant against Spencer and took solace in his company.Â
âI donât know.â Spencer nodded, taking a slice and eating it as he felt her relax against him, her warmth invading him as her scent captured his senses and his whole body reacted to her closeness.Â
Spencer spent the next week going between the safe house and Y/nâs apartment, his FBI badge allowing him private entrance over and over as he did as he pleased. Sifting through her lingerie, showering with her products, taking her clothes and personal items. Anything and everything he desired to do was easy to accomplish, all he had to do was kill someone every now and again. It brought him such a thrill to watch the life leave their eyes, to know how pitifully they died at his hands and that each kill brought Y/n further into his arms.Â
Now he was going to make sure she didnât leave them.
Y/n curled up next to Spencer on the sofa, the lightning crackling outside making her jump as he soothed her, the tv playing some movie she couldnât concentrate on as she heard a gunshot. Her body jumped up as Spencerâs eyes widened, his hand grabbing hers as he pushed her into the bathroom, handing her a gun with shaky hands and demanding she stay there. Y/n could feel tears falling down her face as she stared at the gun in horror, another gun shot rang out and she began sobbing, every noise making her body want to collapse onto the floor.Â
Spencer held a gun close to his side as he ran around the building, hiding his smirk at the FBI agent on the ground, blood dripping from the gunshot wound to the head and stab wounds to his chest, turning her saw James stumbling towards the entrance of the safe house. His gun raised as he let out a shot, pretending to curse himself as it missed, he knew the BAU would be here soon after someone saw the video feed. Now he ran inside, calling out to Y/n as he found her, her gun on the floor as James held a knife to her throat protecting his body from Spencer. His eyes dilated and breathing resembling that of a rabid animal. Spencer held the gun up, showing James he was of no threat as he watched his commands take over.
âBack away or i slit her throat Pig.â His voice was almost robotic as he read off the mental script heâd been hypnotised to recall.Â
âJames, you donât want to do this. Please give her to me.â James pressed the blade closer to her throat as Spencer pretended to step forward out of concern and winced at her face, eyes darting to her as she cried.
âY/n. Y/n listen to me. Itâs going to be okay.â Y/n tried to nod, her eyes staring into Spencerâs as he gave her a reassuring smile and looked back at James with an angry look.
âPut the knife down and we can talk this through James. No one has to get hurt.â The last three words triggered Jamesâ next actions as he moved the knife away from Y/nâs throat, his arm still around it as he pointed it to Spencer and shook with anger.
âOh yes they do! You all just had to get involved when i was finally getting what i wanted! All she had to do was come back to mine and die.â He seethed, Y/n shaking in fear before he threw her down and ran at Spencer, Y/n watching in horror as the knife slid along Spencerâs arm before he managed to shove James off. His gun shot twice before Jamesâ body hit the ground, Y/n letting out a scream as his head rolled to the side and his eyes bore into her head. Spencer ran to her, holding her tightly as his blood dripped down his arm, her body collapsing into his as she clung to him for dear life. His words echoing in her head as he coaxed her to stand, turning her head away from James as he guided her out the house, a sob escaping her as she saw the agent on the ground but Spencer turned her away. The team arrived moments later as Penelope engulfed her in a hug and Derek tried to get Spencer to seek medical attention but he played his part perfectly. Refusing treatment, saying he was okay, wincing when Derek touched his arm. Everything was falling perfectly into place, the ambulance cleaned him up and just like that he was holding Y/n in the back of the SUV whilst Derek drove them to the apartment block.Â
Spencer held open her apartment door as Y/n stood in the doorway, her arms hugging her before she looked back at Spencer
âUmmâŠcould i stay with you tonight Spence?â Spencer pretended to be shocked and nodded, giving her a concerned look as she shuffled out the doorway allowing him to lock her apartment and watched her follow him to his. He unlocked the door and opened it, letting her in as he mumbled an apology for the mess. Y/n not even responding as she awkwardly stood in his living room, heâd made sure it looked more chaotic, a case file on James on the coffee table, aswell as pictures of each of his victims and a map of where heâd been. Pretending to panic he rushed around hiding them all as Y/n walked towards the pictures, picking up one of the victims photos and staring at it blankly as he slowly approached her.
âIâm sorry i didnât think.â Y/n shook her head and looked up at him, handing him the picture as he shoved it inside the case file and carded his hand through his hair in fake stress.
âYou donât need to be sorry Spence. You saved my life.â Y/n reached up giving him a kiss on the cheek as he blushed, a real one that made his whole body tingle in excitement as she hugged herself closed.
âDo youâŠdo you want to shower and iâll set the bed up? Iâll sleep on the sofa.â Y/n nodded emptily as she wandered into the bathroom, a grin coming over Spencerâs face as he threw a blanket and pillow on the sofa, entering his bedroom as he made sure it was perfect. The bed was fresh but heâd made sure to lay in it multiple times and spray it aggressively so the second she touched it sheâd be reminded of him. Grabbing a t shirt and boxers he folded up a towel and placed them outside the bathroom door, listening intently as he heard her showering, his mind demanding he enter and fuck her under the hot water. To fill her fully with him whilst she cried but he knew it would be much sweeter to wait.Â
He waited by the kitchen as he heard the shower turn off, her feet padding against the floor for a while before he could hear her gasp and realise she had no clothes, the door opening a crack as she went to call his name. Her eyes dropping to the clothes as she smiled with teary eyes and collected them, his smile turning dark as he chuckled to himself, pouring tea for both himself and Y/n as she exited the shower.
âThank you for the clothes.â Spencer nodded as he handed her the tea, apologising for it being a little cold as he hadnât got the timing quite right but she brushed him off, drinking it with a little moan as she felt her body relax, a smile on her face as she looked at him. Y/n shuffled her feet for a minute as she looked between the cup and the sad excuse for a bed Spencer had made, guilt filling her before she put the cup down and looked at him fully.
âI canât thank you enough for everything youâve done for me Spence, I can't have you sleep on the sofa, if youâre okay with it maybe we could share the bed?â She knew he would never let her sleep on the sofa, he was too sweet for that and she watched as he blushed and stumbled over his words coming up with excuses before he looked at her desperate face and agreed. Y/n smiling as she took his hand and guided him into the bedroom, both shy as they crawled into the bed, Spencer pretending to be rigid as she curled up to him.
âIs this okay?â Spencer nodded as Y/n gulped and hugged him, basking in his warmth as she felt him slowly relax, aware of how he was trying to be as respectful as he could. Y/n felt his arms slowly close around her as she closed her eyes and felt safe with him, his lips meeting her head in a quick kiss before he apologised.
âIâm sorry.â He stuttered out, red in the face as Y/n looked up at him, her eyes dropping to his lips before she slowly moved forward, eyes finding his to give him time to move away before she met his lips. The two closing their eyes as they kissed, hands slowly becoming harsher until Y/n was panting under him as he claimed her mouth. Both panting and frantic as Spencer stripped Y/n, her hands scrambling to push his shirt over his head, barely moving away to do so until their lips met again. Hot and heavy as her legs fell open allowing him between them, her hands clutching onto his upper arms as she moaned against his lips. Their bodies grinding against one another as he desperately tried to push down his bottoms, her hands coming to untie the knot holding them up as they giggled, eyes finding each other before they slowed down. Their kisses were more gentle and full of meaning as Spencer fully stripped, his body pulling away from hers to crawl down her body when she stopped him.
âYou donâtâŠyou donât need to go down. Iâm ready.â She felt ashamed at how aroused she was, Spencerâs eyes dropping to her pussy as he held in a moan at how soaked she was. For him. Nodding he pretended to be bashful as he kissed her, her arms around his back as he kissed down her neck, sucking and biting her collarbones. He could tell she was getting restless, her legs wiggling and hips lifting slightly to meet his cock before he lined up and raised his head.
âAre you sure?â Y/n nodded quickly, pulling his head back down to kiss him as he pushed halfway in, reminding himself he had to be timid, inexperienced and unsure, not overly confident and ready to fuck her so hard she screamed. Instead he looked at her as she nodded and bit her lip, a moan dropping from her lips as he slowly pushed further, his eyes full of care as he watched her face contort in pleasure. Her nails digging into his skin until he was fully in, her breath shaky as she ran her hands along his shoulders, one twisting in his hair whilst the other held his neck. Her head raising to meet his lips as he began thrusting, slowly and controlled, stuttering his hips to emanate that of someone unsure, each thrust gradually getting deeper as she moaned. Spencer moaned her name as he pushed his head between her shoulder and neck, kissing along her neck as she whimpered in pleasure. His thrusts now quick and long, his body fully controlled and each thrust powerful as he felt her jolt in pleasure and squeeze his cock each time. He could tell she was getting close, her pussy a vice-like grip on his cock as she moaned his name and clung to him. Raising his head he kissed her deeply, a hand reaching down to rub her clit as her head fell back and body spasmed, just like that she was cumming around his cock. He knew her body so well he could tell how deep he needed to thrust to optimise her pleasure, to push her over the edge and force her to whimper at overstimulation. Panting he pressed his forehead against hers as he slowed, pretending to not know what to do as she mumbled.
âNoâŠno iâm okay. Keep going, please, i want you to cum.â The words alone made his dick pulse, making her squirm as he nodded and kissed her gently, his eyes now watching his cock slide in and out of her pussy as he quickened, her moans filling his ears as she cried out, pussy tightening around him as he moaned and came suddenly. His own mind was blown by how quickly he had lost control, eyes shooting open to stare at Y/n, her eyes still closed whilst her pussy milked him. His thrusts slowed until he stilled and let some of his weight go, her hands running up and down soothingly on his back. He went to move off but instead she locked her legs and shook her head, both of them sweaty and boiling as they cuddled, his soft cock nestled in her pussy as their breathing slowed until he could hear Y/n had fallen asleep. Raising his head he slipped from her pussy, watching her carefully to ensure she was asleep before spreading her lips and watching his cum seep out. Using his finger he pushed it back in, loving how she whined at the intrusion but her pussy took him so well. Chuckling to himself he laid beside her, pulling her into his side as he fell asleep beside her.Â
Y/n didnât move back into her own apartment, instead she moved Dorito in and Spencer had to remove any trace of his previous stalking from existence. Now he had her in blissful domestic life, she worked from home, case files brought home by Spencer so she could relax all day after he fucked her thoroughly each night. A wide smile on her face each time he came home, rushing into his arms and kissing him whilst she asked about his day. Heâd finally gotten everything he wanted, sure he still would go out and kill every so often, just to quench the need but when he returned and felt her hug him it all slipped away. It was just bliss. His plan had worked, she was his.Â
a/n- besides the fact that the reader is plus size and a woman, there are no other physical descriptors in this fic :D pic is just for bikini reference đ dividers from @saradika-graphics !!
you canât remember the last time youâve been this relaxed. your skin shines under the golden warmth of the sun, your head spins just slightly from the frozen daiquiris you and penelope have been drinking all afternoon, youâre in your new favorite bikini- hot pink floral print with a matching sarong draped over your hips. your perch yourself on your bossâ teakwood chaise lounge in the midst of his crowded backyard, one of david rossiâs infamous pool parties in full swing.
you lean back and sip your drink, head turning towards commotion at the front gate. cheers and happy greetings are exchanged as someone enters, though you canât see who behind the partygoers whoâve gathered to say hello. your large sunglasses thankfully disguise the anxiety laced in your gaze, a knot tightening in your stomach when you see whoâs arrived- spencer reid. heâs become quite elusive in your time at the bureau, seeing as you were hired on while he was wrongfully imprisoned. he barely talks to you, wonât do so much as look at you when thereâs not a case. you still think heâs the most beautiful man youâve ever seen.
his silence is never offensive, just reserved. when youâd first met him, he was stunned at the fact that theyâd hired someone new in his absence, very untrusting of outsiders since his time behind bars. itâs understandable, youâd probably react the same way if you were in his shoes. you canât help but long for his affection, his friendship. hell, youâd take a civil conversation by the coffee pot at this point if it meant getting to know more about the dr. spencer reid.
you see the way he moves with ease throughout the swarm of people at the gate, greeting him with open arms and wide smiles. heâs comfortable as he responds to these people, you can tell from his relaxed shoulders to the smile lines arching his cheeks. you ache to be a part of that, down to the bone.
you shift in your seat, gaze turning to your lap as you awkwardly sip your drink. his presence burns into your stomach, looming over you like a ghost haunting a child in the night. he floats across the pool deck, his shadow leading to the very center-the prime tanning location, penelope insisted- where you two still lay on your chairs.
âspencer!!â penelope squeals, jumping up to give him a hug.
âhey, penelope,â you hear him breathe out, hushed and tender, lips pressed to her forehead.
you adjust yourself to sit up, your feet now slipping into your sandals laid out on the concrete. your palms lay flat on the tops of your thighs as you fidget in your seat. awkwardness twists up your insides as penelope finally lets go of the man, his bright smile fading into a soft grin.
âhi,â he chirps, and itâs the most animated youâve ever heard his voice. itâs nice, like the soft ring of birds early in the morning.
âhello, dr. reid,â the formality slips off your tongue before you can remember youâre not at work. the title pushes a laugh from deep in his chest, the apples of his cheeks tinting pink.
âoh! oh no, itâs- you can call me spencer,â he presses his lips together in an endearing half smile.
âokâŠspencer,â you try the name out. itâs sweet on your tongue, absorbing the flavor of him like a hard candy. you wonder briefly if there are any other sweet parts of spencer that you can sink your teeth into.
you shake out the thought as quickly as it came, once again fidgeting in your chair so youâre facing the pool, and not your intimidatingly tall coworker.
âyou should come sit with us, spence!â penelope suggests, eyes wide as she pulls over another chair. three now lay in a row, yours in the middle, and youâre entirely certain you wonât be able to last a millisecond with a shirtless spencer reid tanning next to you.
you lift your sunglasses, piercing penelope with your fiercest glare. she just smirks, cozying back into her spot as she innocently sips her drink. you let your shades fall back onto the bridge of your nose, masking your eye roll. her, emily, jj, and tara all know of the secret flame you hold for your teammate, thanks to a girlsâ night featuring too many margaritas.
you couldnât count on all your fingers and toes the amount of times theyâve all insisted that heâs just shy, that heâs never been good with beautiful women. you know what theyâre trying to tell you, you just canât let yourself give into the thought unless you hear it from him. youâve grown to love your body, every dip and curve, your stretch marks and cellulite. still, that hurt young girl who never had a date to the school dance lingers inside, deep in a pit in the bottom of your stomach. she canât let go of the possibility that he canât look at you because heâs repulsed, turned off.
penelope reaches over and squeezes your hand, somehow able to read your mind. you suppose it might have something to do with the pout weighing down your lips.
âi guess bringing wine was a bad call,â you hear from beside you, and you whip your head towards spencer, nodding towards your frozen drink.
âoh!â you gasp as you connect the dots, âoh, i donât think so!â your cheeks burn under his gaze, a hint of uncertainty in his big brown eyes, as if he wasnât sure if youâd want to talk to him when heâd opened his mouth. you see the risk heâs taking, your heart pounding in your ears. you immediately jump to validate his worry, ârossiâs never going to complain about alcohol, you know that.â
he softens, his brow relaxing, mouth ticking upward at the corner, âthatâs true, though itâs useless bringing any other type of alcohol when rossi gets his frozen margarita machine out,â spencer playfully rolls his eyes.
âthat much is true, too,â you giggle, taking another sip of your drink, âheâs got daiquiris in one, margaritas in the other,â you explain, âat one point me and penelope mixed them. would not recommend,â you shudder at the memory, the tart citrus of the margarita was not so complimentary to the sweetness of the strawberry daiquiri.
he huffs out a laugh at that, one that throws his head back, âgood to knowâŠwould you maybe want to come with me, see what else might be over there?â he nods back to the bar, every inch of its surface covered by a bottle of alcohol, surrounded by huge tables of food.
your heart stops, and it feels like water is swirling through your ears, the pressure pounding in your head, âyeah,â you rush out breathily, âyeah, iâd like that. i think i need a refill, too,â you gesture to your now empty cup, but you stumble as you stand from your chair.
âwoahâŠâ he holds his hands out, lightly grazing your elbows to steady you, âyou sure? i can get you some water instead, maybe,â his concerned tone tells you that although it sounds like heâs giving you the option, heâs really not. you suppose heâs probably right, he is a genius, after all.
âokay,â you shrug, the mix of vitamin d and alcohol floating to your head, warming you from the inside out, âbut only if you get a margarita!â you poke him in the chest, hands on your hips as you stand parallel to him. your eyes bore into his as you take in your proximity, how you can smell the sweetness of his sunscreen. in your tipsy haze, you allow your eyes to linger on his neck, just for a moment, wondering what itâd taste like to lick one long stripe up the length of it.
âdeal,â he muses, slipping his own shoes back on before walking across the backyard with you. he lets you go first- ever the gentleman- and hovers his hand over the small of your back, as if heâs anticipating you to fall back into him at any moment.
âyou donât have to do that, you know,â you flip your hair over one shoulder as you gaze back at him. you can see the amusement sparkling in his eye, and your heart thumps against your chest just a bit harder, âiâm totally fi-â youâre cut off with a gasp as your sandal catches onto a rock. you would have planted face first into the tough concrete, had it not been for the long, strong arms that wrap around you in the nick of time, pulling you flush against his chest.
heâs pressed up against your back, his heart thumping a mile a minute against your shoulder, his breathing heavy in your ear, âwhat was that?â he murmurs into your temple, and you can feel the smirk dancing on his lips. your lashes kiss your cheeks as you let out a heavy sigh, âiâm fine,â you insist, stepping away from him and walking ahead to one of the coolers, a plastic water bottle crinkling between your fingers.
âsure you are!â his tone leaks with sarcasm, shining you his infamous close lipped smile.
you roll your eyes as you approach him at the bar, his clear plastic cup now a pale shade of yellow as his long, deft fingers lift it to his lips.
âthank you,â you relent sweetly, smiling back warmly, your heart fluttering when he returns it, âyou know, i think this is the most youâve ever spoken to me outside of the office,â your forwardness stuns you, another unfortunate symptom of the alcohol youâve already consumed.
it takes spencer aback as well, his neck lengthening, shoulders rolling with the movement, âoh! yeah, yeah iâm sorry about that,â he responds, sheepish, but genuine, âadjusting back to my old life after being released has been tough. there-uh- there hasnât been much time for new people in my life recently.â
the energy shifts in that moment, tension percolating between you two. youâre still at the bar, leaning your elbows on it behind you while spencer stands in front of you. very closely, all of a sudden. uncertainty strikes through his chocolate irises like lightning, your heart twisting up in knots at the sight.
âspencer, you donât have to explain your healing process to me,â you begin, as earnestly as possible. he smiles softly at that. you continue, âyouâre plenty cordial to me at work, but i would like to get to know you more, if thatâs something youâd feel comfortable with?â your voice is soft, soothing, though your heart is pounding a mile a minute, anxious acidity pooling in your stomach.
you see his eyes light up, a happy little sigh escaping his lips. your cheeks heat up at the endearing noise, and you hold your breath as he prepares to speak.
âyou-â
âREID!â heâs barely able to get a syllable out before heâs cut off by derek across the pool deck, seemingly quite upset that spencer has not yet followed through on his promise to swim with him.
he turns to morgan, then back to you, face flushed a furious red. he purses his lips as he tries to think of what to say. you do him one better.
âletâs go!â you chirp sweetly, heading toward the pool area, âiâve been meaning to dip my toe in all day!â you walk in front of him, letting him watch you as you strut away.
spencer takes a minute as she walks away, his eyes scanning up and down her frame shamelessly. her bright pink bikini hugs every peak and valley of her soft figure perfectly, showcasing her body in ways he never thought heâd be lucky enough to see. the skirt draped over her hips sways hypnotically as she walks, his eyes practically rolling out of their sockets at the sight.
he saunters behind her slowly as they cross the pool deck, reveling in the show sheâs giving him. his eyes grow lazy, addicted as he watches her, his tongue lolling out lazily to wrap around the plastic straw in his margarita. he sips the cold drink, the alcohol immediately rushing to his...other head, clouding his judgement until his brain is fuzzy. he finally reaches the chair penelope grabbed for him, and stops in his tracks.
sheâs laid out on her own chair, mere inches from his, her body now laid out on display. sheâs leaning back on her elbows, her legs extended in front of her, one knee propped up just slightly. sheâs unreal, just breathtaking. his heart is beating a mile a minute the closer he approaches, and he nearly vibrates out of his skin when he sits next to her, their arms inches apart. itâs like his ears are filled with water, the world moving around him in slow motion as the only thing taking up his expensive brain is the bombshell next to him.
heâs never this needy, this gluttonous, but the sight of you electrocutes his heart, a shocking desire he feels from the deepest corner of his heart to the very tips of his toes. he canât help but wish heâs on your mind as much as youâre on his. she may have put on a cute act by the bar, but she was right for calling him out, too.
he doesnât speak to her, but itâs not for lack of want. when he was in prison, all he wanted was to go back to the bau, to see his family. when that day finally came, she was the last thing heâd expected. her eyes paralyzed him that day, wide and bright as she cordially welcomed him back to his position. whenever she catches his eye from his desk, or walks past him, allowing him a whiff of her shampoo, heâs frozen all over again. he feels like heâs 13 again, and he just got assigned to sit next to the prettiest girl in his ap calc class. giddy, fluttery, terrified.
he takes one last sip of his drink, for now, as he knows derek is very impatiently awaiting his company in the water. he instinctively reaches to pull his shirt off, his fingers dancing along the hem. he stops himself when his eyes catch his tummy, protruding over his swim shorts ever so slightly. heâs never really struggled with his self image all that much, but the little pouch wasnât there before he was wrongfully arrested, so itâs a new part of his body heâs made adjustments to. the next coming of aphrodite laid up next to him was not helping his confidence, acidic nerves bubbling in his stomach.
his gaze snaps over to her, sighing a breath of relief as he sees her focus on penelope. he drops his hands, turning to wade into the pool steps. derek meets his gaze with a knowing smirk, heat spreading over his already pink cheeks.
âmorgan-â
he can barely get out another syllable before heâs cut off, âletâs go, pretty boy!â he calls from the water, where he impatiently waits, âcmon, you can race me for penelopeâs diving sticks,â he flashes him a classic derek morgan smile, drawling a soft, sarcastic âloverrrâ that only spencer can hear as he further enters the pool.
âthat only sounds fun for you!â spencer flicks water at his friend, who laughs and splashes back, âwhat, you just gonna get your shirt soaked?â morgan asks. spencer freezes, the water only reaching his knees.
he knows derekâs only asking out of concern, he probably thinks spencer forgot. heâd never put him on the spot like that if he really knew why heâd left it on. his heart rate picks up again, and this time itâs dread pooling in his stomach, overthrowing the desire his organs housed previously. his head is fuzzy, and thatâs why he acts on immediate impulse, his head whipping back to her and penelope sitting on their chairs. sheâs looking right at him, of course, anxiety flooding his chest like a tsunami.
his hand involuntarily drifts to his tummy as he fiddles with a button on his hawaiian shirt, but before he can do anything, she stands. heâs wholly unprepared for what happens next- she loosens the tie holding her sarong together, and exposes even more of herself for him. she looks him right in the eye as she patters across the deck to the pool. heâs mesmerized at the light jiggle in her thigh as she walks, unable to stop his brain from imagining a scenario in which he could give her skin another reason to do that.
his gaze follows her shamelessly the entire time she moves, until sheâs on the same step of the pool as him. his mouth is slightly ajar, no doubt looking like a love struck cartoon character with hearts beating out of his eyes. she seems unphased as her delicately manicured fingers lightly graze his forearm.
âi can put it back on your chair, if youâd like?â she asks sweetly, melting his heart into a lovesick puddle.
something about the way sheâs looking at him, eyes soft and so, so genuine, puts his worries at ease. his fingers reach to the top button and pops it open, all while they stare each other down like theyâre in an interrogation room. butterflies swarm in his gut, palpitating his heart as the tension builds, thickening with the heat.
she wades deeper into the water, his eyes glued on her figure. the water covers her up more and more, and he gulps, shaky fingers fiddling with the rest of the buttons. heâs thankful derek and penelope are too tipsy and too invested in timing his speed underwater. if they noticed this near pornographic level of tension between him and her, theyâd make sure everyone else on the pool deck did, too.
she moves like she knows heâs watching her, and she tosses her hair over her shoulder, taking a peek at spencer right as heâs peeling his shirt off. he feels more exposed than ever now as he slips his arms out of his sleeves. he turns to toss the shirt onto the chair, and as his body twists, he notices the way his tummy pudges over the waistband of his shorts, the little rolls that werenât there before prison.
he feels the water ripple around him, and he turns to find her approaching the steps heâs been frozen on for almost five minutes now. they donât speak as she exits the pool, his brow incredulous, âyouâre getting out?â he stutters, wide eyed and completely caught off guard with the way her hips sway as she climbs the steps.
she stops and turns to him, one leg straight on a step, the other reaching up to the next one. the angle sheâs at makes his head spin, her figure twisting into the most delectable position, itâs a challenge for his eyes to not dip below her waist.
âi just wanted to cool off a bit, iâm gonna lay in the sun a little more while itâs still light out,â she responds sweetly, and he feels like a deer in headlights.
she wraps herself in a towel as spencer turns to derek, who had seen the entire interaction, if the smile on his face was anything to go by.
âyou told me youâd swim with me!â derek accuses teasingly, pointing a finger at spencer.
spencer rolls his eyes and trudges the rest of the way in, âiâm not racing you.â
as the sun started to set, rossi and hotch each took their stance at the grills in his backyard, doling out hotdogs and hamburgers to the hungry partygoers. you sit at a long table, family style with the rest of the team. an old university sweatshirt is draped over your frame, your bathing suit now dry from your earlier escapade in the pool.
penelope immediately started whispering to you the moment youâd exited the pool, eyebrows raised like sheâd seen a unicorn, âwhat was that?â she whispered, spencer and derek then occupied with their boyish argument.
âyou saw that too?â youâd hissed back, relief flooding your chest at her validation.
âyes! girl, if you donât do something about thatâŠâ she insinuated, and you bit your lip, glancing back at spencer. you remember the way the sun shone off his shoulders, the way his back muscles flexed as he swam. now, you sit at the teamâs table, thinking about what kind of scratches youâd be able to leave on that back, how it would flex under your palms.
youâre ripped from your thoughts by the chair next to you scraping against the concrete. your head snaps up to meet the very object of your thoughts, your face immediately heating up.
âoh-sorry,â he smiles sheepishly at the grating noise, making sure to lift the chair slightly as he pushes himself into the table.
âthatâs ok,â you smile sweetly, unable to be annoyed with him, âhow you feelinâ? derek didnât tire you out too much?â you nudge his shoulder lightly with yours, and he blushes at the touch.
âno, no, not really,â he shakes his head, smiling down at the picnic table, âit was fun, but i missed you at the bar a few times after that.â
your heart races at the lightness in his tone, his lips flirtatiously curling upward, âwell, if iâm not mistaken, some doctor told me that i needed to drink water earlier this afternoon,â you respond.
he laughs at this, and it emboldens you so much, you canât help but reach forward, your fingers deftly moving a strand of hair thatâs fallen in front of his eye. he smiles sheepishly at this, and you donât think youâll ever get tired of making him blush. youâre staring at each other in a comfortable silence, like two lovesick teenagers at the lunch table. itâs awkward and nervous, but giddy and exciting all the same.
âyou look really pretty when youâve spent all day in the sun,â spencer comments, and the breath is stolen from your lungs, âyouâre glowing in a way i havenât seen at the office.â
âwell, being under fluorescent lights all day provides a much different glow than lounging in a chair all day,â you instinctively inflect, a natural reaction youâve developed to compliments over the course of your life. youâre trying to be better at that, though, so you sigh, and continue, âthank you, though. thatâs very nice.â
he nods at this, seeming very pleased to have made you happy. your attention is then stolen by the commotion of the team, drinks and laughter melodically flowing throughout the yard. aaron walks around taking a plethora of pictures, waiting until everyone is seated to get his own plate, of course. heâs parallel from you and spencer, his phone pinched between each of his pointer fingers and thumbs.
âsmile!â he chirps to you and spencer, and the space immediately fills with tension once more.
you revel in it this time, leaning into him with a cheesy smile for the picture. his arm instinctively comes up to wrap around the back of your chair. you wish it was your shoulders, but you applaud his attempt at being respectful, despite your near debauchery by the pool. you scoot closer just slightly, wide-smiling cheeks press together as aaron clicks the photo.
you catch the glint in your unit chiefâs eye as he takes the photograph. heâs profiling your body language, a knowing smirk teasing at his lips. he makes eye contact with you, raising his brows before moving on to snap pictures of the rest of the team. you take pause after the interaction, the breath being stolen from your lungs at the validation.
the rest of the meal was more of a group event, but neither you nor spencer minded. you love moments like this with your team, where you can be with each other when the circumstances arenât so grim. as always, youâve ended up in a juicy gossip sesh with the girls- jj, penelope, emily, and tara. youâve talked about everything from the hottest people of the 80s and 90s- emily and tara gushed over jessica lange and jodie foster, jj and penelope both said leonardo dicaprio, while you opted for river phoenix- to how nobodyâs replaced the oat milk in the work fridge. jj and penelope were particularly heated about that one, you, emily, and tara were just fine with your half and half, though.
your tipsy cackling rings through the air, mixing with the sound of jack and henryâs laughter, the low, booming voices of your superiors at the other end of the table, the clinking of glasses. the sun sets, a vision of pinks and oranges. the darker it got, the more people begin to filter out his back gate, nearly everyone was sent with tupperware full of leftovers in their hands, the classic signature of a rossi dinner party.
soon enough, it was dark, and the only people left were the team. the humidity that clings to the night air moves the party back over to the pool. some were swimming, but your toes were dipped in the water, still sitting with your girls. you catch spencer sitting on the other side of the deck, nursing a beer with derek and luke.
heâs already looking at you when you see him, a dangerous glint in his eye that wasnât there earlier this afternoon. the pool lights cast him in a soft, angelic glow, illuminating the teasing in his brown eyes. your heart speeds up, breath hitching as his lips curl up in a smirk.
youâre eventually swayed back into the pool with the girls for a bit. itâs not long before the girls start heading inside, but itâs long enough to complete two essential tasks- the first is filling them in on everything youâd been through with spencer this afternoon alone.
you tell them about the stares, the moment in the pool, him peeling his shirt off like some action star. all four of them have extremely loud verbal reactions, penelope even splashes the water out of reflex. it draws the eyes of the rest of the team, and you have to stop yourself from glancing over at spencer, attempting to maintain a semblance of subtlety. they volunteer to eventually herd the rest of the group indoors, so that way you can have some time alone with spencer. butterflies swarm your chest at the thought, and you canât help but take a glance at him. heâs still looking at you, the fire in his eye burning brighter.
the second task of the evening included penelope assigning mermaid tail colors to each of you, or course. each of you squeal and laugh with girlish glee at the idea, you so rarely get moments like these to be so carefree and silly. she hits the nail on the head with her assessment, too- she gives tara purple, emily is green, jjâs blue, youâre pink, and lastly, she reserves yellow for herself. the five of you laugh, reminiscent of years prior, when your biggest worry was if youâd all get your favorite color. you all did this time.
after that, emily and jj were among the first to head inside, aaron and dave following soon after. penelope and tara followed, ushering derek and luke inside as well. you stay in the pool, though, eyes burning a hole through spencerâs. you can see him gulp, and you swim to his side of the deck. you fold your arms on top of each other, ensuring your chest lays nicely atop your arms. he swallows again, adamâs apple bobbing in his throat.
âhi, spencer,â you nearly whisper, your tone delicate yet cunning, âwanna come in for a bit? we can go inside and dry off after?â you surprise both spencer and yourself with that last question, the insinuation burning white hot between you.
he nods absentmindedly as he stares at you, his eyes nearly going black as he, once again, tantalizingly peels his button up off. he takes the long way, teasing you no doubt, rounding the edge of the pool to the steps. you meet each other in the middle, breathing heavy between you two.
âhi,â he whispers.
âhi,â you whisper back.
then, his lips are on yours.
itâs all encompassing, the soft touch of his lips flooding your senses until youâre dizzy. his large hands grab hold of your face, parting his lips just so, inhaling more of you with each shaky breath. your arms snake around his neck, pulling him closer. he moves his hands underneath the water, practically moving in slow motion as he pulls your thighs up so that your legs hug his waist. he rubs patterns into your plush skin, squeezing and massaging your softness.
âyouâre so beautiful, it drives me absolutely insane,â he confesses, breathless between kisses.
âyou really think so?â you whisper, tucking your head in the crook of his neck to pepper some soft kisses there. his hands creep up your thighs until theyâre cupping your ass, reveling in you as his fingers sink shamelessly into your softness. his neck tastes like chlorine and sunscreen and you could eat him up. you sink your teeth into his soft skin, just slightly, and he lets out a small yelp.
âhey!â he whines, and you creep your hand up the back of his neck, lightly tugging on the hair there. you pull your head out of his shoulder to see his eyes desperate as you do it, a light âooh!â escaping his lips. you kiss him again, and again, and again. heâs just about to slip his tongue into your mouth, when an insanely bright light is shone on the two of you.
âhey, lovebirds! get outta my pool!â david shouts, and you can hear the team wolf whistling from inside.
you bury your face in the crook of his neck once more, mentally preparing yourself to face your team inside, soaking wet in a bikini, hand in hand with dr. spencer reid.
WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW | Spencer Reid x Sunshine!Reader
Description: Sunshine rookie gets a boyfriend, and Spencer canât help but thing he would be so much better for her. But that definitely isnât the jealousy talking, right?
Length: 8k
Warnings: nothing really, jealousy? talks of sex? embarrassment? Mention briefly of vomit because of allergic reaction.
main masterlist.
authorâs note: I want to write for these two until my fingers are two little stubs and even then Iâll learn with my toes. Can be read as a stand alone!
He thought he was going to be sick when he saw her that random Thursday, leaning against her desk, a sweet, bashful smile on her face. Or, more specifically, Spencer thought he was going to need to at least sit down when he saw the man standing next to her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, the little daisy earrings Penelope bought her for her birthday almost laughing at his gobsmacked expression.Â
He liked Agent Taylor Bingley. He respected the fresh faced desk jockey from the third floor that swanned around their bullpen, usually discussing warm up routines with Luke. He was quick on his feet, a pretty decent shot. Never missed a report, never tardy, even offered his parking spot up to Spencer on more than one occasion because he didnât mind the long walk from the other lot. He flew under the radar, and when he was noticed, it was because he was a particularly kind soul.Â
Spencer didnât think heâd ever seen him without those rosy cheeks that made him look almost always sunburnt, or that trademark boyish grin a handsome guy like him had down to a tea. So it really shouldnât have been such a surprise to see him lingering around his sunshine girl.Â
Except she wasnât his, not by a mile. They just spent almost every second of the work day together.
âCheck it out, rookie has an admirer,â Tara said, the heels clicking against the floor as she passed the door, where Spencer seemed to have stopped, his eyes narrowing at the happy couple, âCanât say I blame him. Sheâs a pretty girl, donât you think, Spence?â
She didnât realise she was rubbing salt in a superficial wound, but Spencer felt his jaw feather with annoyance. Because she was beyond a pretty girl, she was honey and all the months of Spring and a hot drink on a rainy day and finishing a good book and the dessert your mom let you have on your tenth birthday. Not that he could admit that. So he just nodded, right as Taylor leaned over to kiss the apple of her cheek.Â
She shied away, smiling to her lap and playing with her fingertips, not looking up from her little potted plant that sat next to her on her desk, and Spencer knew it was because she floundered when people gave her too much attention.
Like when Garcia had said her blouse and bun combo sheâd worn the other day made her look like a sexy teaching assistant, sheâd stammered something close to a thankyou and headed to the kitchenette to get herself a glass of water. Or when Rossi had said the bangs she had cut herself two weeks ago looked cute, that his daughter had been desperate to try something similar, sheâd spilled her coffee down her front not even two seconds later because she had been so occupied telling the man it was no big deal.Â
âMorning, Doctor Reid, Doctor Lewis,â Taylor said, his pearly white teeth gleaming with that West Coast, surfer boy tan that made Spencer want to huff. The man was insufferable. Well, correction, he was insufferably nice for someone Spencer was desperate to pick apart with faults the second heâd seen her preening over their sunshine rookie.Â
âMorning, Agent Bingley,â Tara said civilly, smiling back at the Agent that passed them to head to the elevators. She caught a glimpse of Spencer, and was quick to make herself scarce in the interest of needing to check in with Penelope, because she knew what that stormy look in his eye and the way his lips pressed into a thin line meant, profiler or not.Â
Spencer didnât pay much attention to Lewis leaving his side, not that he was trying to be rude, his eyes were zeroed in on the way she fumbled around her desk, looking for imaginary mess to tidy, which included rearranging the pots of glitter pens and highlighters next to her monitor, only to put them back exactly how they were before.Â
âAgent Bingley, thatâs new,â Came a voice over her shoulder, that made her jump in her seat, and her expression was skittish when she swivelled around, Spencer towering over her with calculating eyes. Luke rolled his chair around the divider to lean in on the conversation, having witnessed the whole thing in high definition since her desk was right next to his.Â
âOh, Taylor?â She squeaked, and Spencer didnât need to touch her face to know it had gone hot just by the way she simpered and fiddled with the hem of her knee length skirt, avoiding their gaze, âYeah, he took me to the aquarium at the weekend and we got lunch. Itâs not really serious or anything, I donât think,âÂ
She seemed unsure, her lips pursed together and a tiny crease between her brow he hated, and it was then Lukeâs deep laugh rumbled next to them.Â
âDoes he know that?â Luke asked, and she shot him a look, wide eyed and confused, as he cleared his throat, âI was thinking I could take you out again in that pretty red dress-â
She threw a wad of scrunched up notepaper at him, an embarrassed smile on her face as she shook her head at him, âYou have spent way too much time with Penelope, youâre turning into gossiping school children,âÂ
But she seemed happy, like the thought of the conversation sheâd had with Agent Bingley made her all the more girlish herself as she giggled lightly, her gaze meeting Spencerâs empty expression. He wished he could hide his jealousy better, perhaps even seem happy for her. She deserved someone soft and saccharine and humane like Bingley, not a rough shell of what once was a brilliant man. He knew he should feel somewhat pleased for her, at least now he had empirical, hard evidence on why he couldnât have her, but he couldnât.Â
âAll Iâm saying, rookie, is if you got that man bringing you breakfast and sweet talking you after one date, youâll have him wrapped around your pinky by the time heâs your boyfriend,â Luke chuckled, and Spencer thought he might just burst a vessel with how hard he clenched his jaw at that dreaded b word.Â
Alvez had no idea just how much he had twisted a knife in Spencerâs gut, which was plunged even further when he saw that sparkle in her eye when she looked up at him.Â
âIgnore him, heâs a busy body,â She chirped, her teeth peeking from her lips when she hid a grin, âYou wanna get coffee later? Taylor brought me tea and Iâm dying for the good stuff,âÂ
Spencer nodded with a small smile, because her attitude was infectious, and selfishly thinking that Bingley couldnât be that perfect for her because she only ever wanted tea when she felt sick, usually towards the start of the month that he guessed was in correlation with her menstrual cycle but would never ask. She wouldnât want tea for another two weeks, and would likely take an extra shot in her cappuccino today because this was when she felt the most lethargic. Â
Swivelling back around in her chair to log onto her computer, she remained completely oblivious to his inner turmoil.Â
For once, Spencer wished heâd been late to work.
â
Two months. They had been dating for two fucking months. As far as Spencer could tell, from Penelopeâs need to chatter about their sunshine rookie and her hot, stud muffin of a boyfriend, things had only been official for about five weeks of that time, but it hadnât stopped Spencer from wanting to swallow glass because that would likely be less inconvenient than seeing the two of them together.Â
Taylor usually brought her breakfast whenever they would get back from a case, which infuriated Spencer because he always bought her tea. She was a people pleaser, Spencer knew it before he had ever thought of her as anything other than the shiny newbie with too much joy and doe eyes heâd never seen before. But now, knowing her better than anyone else in the office did because she practically shadowed his footsteps, it was blaringly obvious to him that she had either never told him she didnât like tea first thing in the morning, or he had never bothered to take notice.Â
Spencer felt an odd puddle of smugness and fury when on more than one occasion he saw her pouring it down the drain, cold after sitting there for hours until it was unbearable and she couldnât force herself to drink anymore. It was obvious to him, so why wasnât it obvious to her own boyfriend? Spencer thought bitterly. But then Agent Bingley did leave a sour taste in his mouth these days.
Speaking of which, Spencer felt that pang in his chest the way he always did when the happy couple walked into the office together. Her hand was usually in his, though she seemed to simper under the weight of the team's glances; knowing and teasing as heâd take her to her desk and whip out the to-go pastries that heâd bought them that morning.Â
âMorning, Spence,â She skipped past his desk, Taylor trailing behind her like a dog, though she seemed not to mind keeping him waiting a moment as she spoke to her friend, âHow was Doctor Who?â
He smiled despite his grudge, because she always remembered what he said. Heâd told her once that Thursdays were his evening to watch the show, and every time Friday morning rolled around, sheâd bound up to lean over his computer and ask.Â
âIt was okay, Iâm excited to see what they do with a Female Doctor, even if Iâll miss Capaldi,â He replied earnestly, and her eyes filled with glee.Â
âDid they give her a new one of the doo-hickies they have?â She asked, his chest butterflying with an aching sort of affection because she seemed to remember everything he ever told her.Â
âSonic Screwdriver?â She nodded her head, even though Spencer knew she didnât quite understand the show entirely, âYeah, I prefer Sarah Janeâs Sonic Lipstick however,âÂ
âI wish I had one of those, I could reapply and save the world, how cool would that be?â She said, and they laughed together a little, before Taylor popped his head over Spencerâs computer with that dentist white beam and his excitable eyes, bluer than any sea rolling onto shore.Â
âMorning, Doctor Reid,â Agent Bingley said, and the smile withered from Spencerâs face, morphing into a civil nod, his expression unreadable.Â
âMorning, Agent,â He said, his eyes tracking back to his screen as he suddenly found Emilyâs group email about staff room fridge etiquette invigorating.Â
Taylor must have taken it as a sign the Doctor Reid was busy and finally let him have a minutes peace, that is until she took a seat at her desk and he leaned next to her, handing her a warm bagel.Â
Spencer heard them chatting for about ten minutes, of which he was trying anything to tune them out, including roping Luke into their own conversation. It wasnât until there was a lapse in the chatter that Spencerâs ears pricked up, and he heard her stand up from her desk, eyes wide as she spat a mouthful out into a tissue.Â
âDoes this have coconut in it?â She asked somewhat fearfully, Spencerâs head whipping around to her little corner of the bullpen. Her little self help stickers dotted around her desktop stared back at him, her reminder to âdrink waterâ almost horribly ironic the second heâd heard her question.Â
His stomach dropped when Taylor frowned, âYeah, itâs coconut and raspberry, is-is that not okay?âÂ
Spencer was quick to stand up out of his own seat, rifling through his satchel to dig out his water bottle, making it to her desk in just two long paces and handing it to her without another word as she looked up at him worriedly.Â
âIf you need to puke, itâll probably be for the best so that you can get the traces out of your stomach. You canât have the steroids before you hurl or it wonât work,â He soothed, and she nodded, sipping on his water with shaky hands, and Spencer was quick to catch the way her skin had a slight sheen to it that hadnât been there before. He put a hand on her shoulder, trying to gage if she was well enough to make it to the bathroom on her own or if he would need to drive her to the ER. Either way her expression worried him.Â
âI-I thought it was white chocolate,â She peeped, looking extremely sorry for herself as she dumped the chewed up brownie in her bin, and Taylor almost appeared at her side, looking entirely lost as he stroked a hand down her hair.Â
âTalk to me, whatâs wrong?â He asked, seafoam hues trailing down her sweating face in terror.Â
âSheâs allergic to coconut,â Spencer cut in, his tone a little harsher than needed, and her boyfriendâs expression wilted like a kicked puppy.Â
âShit! You never mentioned, Iâm so- Iâm so sorry, honey,â Taylor went pale, and she didnât look much better as she pushed past the two of them, heading for the bathroom, Spencer a single pace behind her.Â
âI got her, donât worry,â He called over his shoulder to Agent Bingley standing there like a gaping fish, his hand running through his blonde sweep as he watched her all but running out of the office, Spencerâs long legs keeping up with her.Â
âIs your skin getting prickly yet?â Spencer asked. Swouldn't go into anaphylaxis, at least not as far as they knew, but the large hives that would appear on her chest and neck and the vomiting was not ideal. She kept a tray of steroids in her desk incase an accidental cross contamination happened (and because Spencer had forced her to have some on hand), but seeing her panicked eyes as she tasted the chalky fruit had made him fawn over her like she was marked for the plague.Â
âNeck is getting itchy,â She replied, tugging at her collar and pushing the door to the unisex bathrooms open, heading for the nearest stall, âYou donât have to stay for this bit, itâs not-â
He cut her off by sweeping her hair into a ponytail, as if to tell her to stop worrying about him, and he stroked a hand over her arm to let her know he was right there, because he knew she really hated anything gory and gross like that.Â
He hushed her when sheâd try to apologise, hand her his bottle of water in between moments where her whole body seized.
And for a minute, she thought that Spencer might be the only person who sheâd ever let see her like this. Not Luke, or Garcia and certainly not Taylor.Â
The thought of it kept her quiet for the rest of the morning.Â
-
They seemed to move past the whole debacle quickly. Luke said Taylor had taken her to a fancy restaurant uptown to apologise, making a huge point to avoid the coconut banoffee pudding like it was an explosive.Â
âYou guys are so cute, youâre like Jane and heâs literally your Bingley. I swear your kids are going to be sweet enough I could drizzle them right next to ice cream,â Penelope said over the SUV console speaker, Spencer in the driving seat and her in the passenger, flicking through her files as they approached the victimâs house.Â
The rookie blanched, âWoah, woah, kids?â She protested, and even Spencer felt himself nearly swerve the minute the bubbly IT geek said it. She looked shaken, awkwardly chuckling and reaching to tuck hair behind her ear, âSlow down, Garcia, weâve not even- you know what, I think weâre talking about the wrong thing here-âÂ
âYouâve not even what?â Penelope burst out, her need for the lastest gossip overwhelming the reading of the room. She swallowed heavily, shifting in her seat to face out of the window, her knees touching the door with a thud, âHave you guys not had sex yet?âÂ
âPenelope!â The woman screeched, her face hot and gobsmacked that sheâd even said it out loud.Â
But it was telling enough, and Spencerâs face whirled over the console to her, guilt written on her features.Â
âI just assumed you guys had done it seeing as both of you are the hottest couple I know, I mean I wouldnât be able to keep my hands off you if I was a guy-â Penelope tried to save herself in the only way she knew how, by digging herself a deeper hole.Â
Spencerâs hand shot out for the centre screen, âWeâre losing you, Garcia, youâre breaking up, bye,â He pressed the end call button, and he didnât need to look at the girlâs face to know she was the epitome of mortified.Â
Spencer opened his mouth to say something, the awkward silence of the car killing him as much as he knew it was her, but he thought better of it and clamped his mouth shut. It took him a minute before he opened his mouth to speak again, if not to ask her if she wanted to stop at a drive thru for breakfast, but she beat him to it.Â
âI was going to say weâve not even said I love you yet,â She murmured, keeping her body entirely swivelled away from him, her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to make herself smaller, as if she could just smush herself into the seat so he wouldnât say anything. She cleared her throat, scratching her wrist nervously, âBut I guess thatâs also true too,âÂ
âWhy not?â Her eyes snapped onto Spencer when he braved those two words, and he sensed heâd overstepped some sort of boundary before he realised it sounded like heâd been speaking about the latter, âWhy havenât you said it?â He clarified.Â
She went quiet, her shoulders shrugging being the only sign that sheâd heard him, gaze trailing back out her window.Â
âHeâs not said it yet either, and I donât think I want him to. Not yet at least,â Her voice was soft, heavy as if every single one of them was coming from her heart, âLove is such a big emotion I think if he did say it, I wouldnât know how to respond. Like, if Iâm going to say it back to someone, I want to be sure I feel it otherwise itâs like Iâm betraying everyone elseâs version of love, you know?âÂ
He thought she might just be an angel bottled up and thrown into his life, and he sometimes wished he could take a look inside that head of hers because how she had protected her beautiful look on the world after seeing so much hurt staggered him. He had become cruel and cold and heavy where she looked at the lecherous shithole heading for disaster they called Earth and saw right to its soul, gave it a hug, told it she would care even when no one else would.Â
He tore his eyes from the road, and took in the outline of her face, mindlessly watching the pedestrians on their daily commute to grab lunch, a dog peeing against a lamp post, a motorcyclist bobbing and weaving in between the midday traffic, her doe eyes never missing a trick.
Forcing his gaping expression back on the road, because he might just swerve and hit the damn rider off his bike if he let himself get lost in his little dreamscape that consisted of nothing but her and her face and her thoughts and her words, he cleared his throat, not sure how to add to the poetic, rose tint she seemed to see the world in.
âThatâs good, that youâre taking things at your own pace, atleast,â He said, not particularly profound but at least it was something, âYou shouldnât do things just because someone else wants you to, even if you think it would make them happy,â
âBut I like making people happy,â She countered, her expression troubled as she looked over at him with a quirked brow, âI like making you happy especially,â
âWhat makes you think Iâm not happy?â Spencer asked, his mouth drying up, his stomach flipping in cartwheels when she giggled to herself like for once she was the smart one snd he was the one who needed teaching.
âIt took you three and a half weeks to crack a smile when we first started working together,â His jaw clenched, because he was the one who counted the statistics. Perhaps he was rubbing off on her. âHonestly, I thought you hated me. I thought a seasoned agent like yourself probably would get frustrated teaching the dumb newbie the ABCâs, even ones that admire him. But then I thought, instead of getting so butt hurt about it all, I could just give you a reason to smile and youâd see that Iâm not just a useless rookie learning to roll over for treats.â
Spencerâs throat bobbed. Heâd hate himself forever for being so cruel to her those first few weeks, the clipped tones when sheâd add something in a particularly chirpy voice, the way he would forget his manners sometimes when sheâd bring him a coffee, because his head had been so deep in survival mode that being nice didnât matter. Being nice had got him nowhere in Mexico, in fact it had shown his soft underbelly and drawn a target on it.Â
âI never hated you,â His voice croaked out, weak and pathetic, and it's times like that he remembered ten years ago talking to her would have made him blush, pop a boner, and lose half his IQ all in one go. Coughing, his knuckles turned white at the wheel, and he avoids her gaze that feels like a pitfall trap, âItâs difficult to go back to how you used to be when youâve got a thousand eyes on your back waiting for you to lower your guard,â
âI know, I know that now, I jus-â She floundered, worried sheâd touched a nerve, but he stopped her by leaning over the console and putting a gentle hand on her kneecap.
âRelax, I know I wasnât the most pleasant person to be around,â Spencer said, his timbre quiet but honest, âYou were one of the few things I looked forward to, if Iâm honest.â
âReally?â She said, agog, like she was waiting for him to turn around and say it had been a joke, âYou didnât think Iâm too loud or, like, too much?â
âHow can there be too much of you? If your body wasnât in correct proportion, your organs wouldn't function-â
âSpencer,â She said, though he knew she was smiling even without having to look, âYou know thatâs not what I meant,â
âI know,â He replied, a smug little smile quirking on his own lips because he loved making her happy too, âNo, I could never find you too much.â
She simpered under his words, his hand a stoked flame on her skin as she brought her fingers over the top of them to squeeze them together, before she changed the subject because she knew her cheeks might just explode if they heated anymore.
â
They were back from a long case, one that had made everyone tired and grumpy, especially because they needed to swing by the office for an hour of admin even Emily couldnât wriggle them out of.Â
And ofcourse, as he always was when Spencer was feeling like he was already about to strangle someone out of annoyance, Agent Bingley was right there when they entered the lobby.
She hadnât slept well on the jet, despite Spence loaning her his jumper to use as a pillow, and she was in desperate need of coffee, the kind that Spencer and Penelope forced her to try instead of the cold caramel thing she liked. Sheâd even go for one of Lukeâs zero sugar, zero milk atrocities right now.
âHey guys, how was the flight?â Taylor jumped in to ask, and everyone gave some sort of variation of a groan because that was exactly how it had felt. His attention turned to her, as she pulled up the rear with Spencer attached her her hip because she had been practically sleepwalking the entire way there, âHi honey,â
âTaylor, hi,â She said, her eyes perking up when he held out a hot take away cup for her, âYou really didnât have to,â
âNonsense, herbal tea is supposed to alleviate headaches and help get you to sleep,â He replied, his other hand behind his back quickly whipping out to produce a bunch of flowers in front of her face.
She barely had time to flash him a grin to hide the disappointment that it was nowhere near as caffeinated as sheâd like, nor that she didnât even liked herbal tea, before a bunch of lilies were thrust her way.
âLillies,â She said, her hand covering her chest at the touching sentiment, âTaylor, you shouldnât have,â
âI know theyâre your favourites,â The blonde replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and effectively putting a wall between her and Spencer, whether he meant to or not. Her expression wavered, and Spencer's eyes went straight to her, waiting for her to correct him. Because they werenât her favourites, not even in her top five. Hyacinths were. Or Foxglove. Or Delphiniums. Not Lillies.Â
She nodded wordlessly, and the three of them headed for the lift, where the rest of the team held the door for them, her expression tiptoeing between guilty and smiling, Taylorâs almost ecstatic to see her after her long few days away, and Spencerâs entirely pissed off that the sun kissed jerk couldnât see every sign blaring in his face.Â
âI might have to cut off the stamen when Ace comes over,â She queried, her eyes roving over the beautiful white petals opening towards her like a book.
âAce? Whoâs Ace?â He said, and Spencer and JJ exchanged a glance, because the whole elevator was now privy to their conversation as David pressed the six button. Taylor reached forward to push the three for himself.
âThe dog I foster sometimes, the one I told you about. He helps me when I need to talk through some things. Heâs a very good listener,,â She said with a dopey smile on her face, her eyes casting over her boyfriends face with a willing expression, because she knew for a fact sheâd told him at lengths about the bouncy Spaniel that adored her, âHe comes over for playdates, but the pollen inside lilies are poisonous to dogs,â
Taylor scrunched his nose up, âUgh, I hate dogs, theyâre so slobbery and the always seem to smell awful,â He commented, her face dropping the slightest in a way that made Spencerâs hand curl into a fist, because how dare Agent Bingley take that away from her, âI thought you were a cat person?â
âI like them both equally, but Ace is sweet. He curls up on my legs after weâve gone for a walk,â Taylor still didnât seem convinced, and she felt stupid for even mentioning it, well aware that the rest of her team were listening in on her childish description of the old dog that wanted nothing but love.Â
âWhy do you need a dog to talk anyway, babe? You have me,â Taylor said, in a way that was supposed to sound comforting but made Spencer want to shake him and tell him to listen to a damn word she was saying. Her eyes dimmed, and she looked at the lilies again, feeling entirely ungrateful for wishing they were something else, and the elevator doors opened onto the third floor. Taylor kissed her cheek and waltzed out of the lift with a quick goodbye to her team that was returned in murmurs. Turning to look at her, his body already in the anteroom of his own floor, he smiled sweetly at her, âI love you,â
JJ and Emily whipped their heads to her face, expecting to see some kind of puppy love blossom there, only to find wide-eyed panic, her smile slowly slipping. Rossi cleared his throat when she said nothing, the air turning stale as the team waited for her response, Taylor looking at her expectantly, and she wished the ground would open up then and there to swallow her whole, because that would probably be better than whatever this was.
Tara nudged her shoulder, waking her out of her daze, Luke scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, and it was then after a beat more of silence that Taylor opened his mouth again, âBabe, did you hear what I-â
She leaned forward to press the close door button, her doe hues in full flight mode, her fingers only picking up the pace when her boyfriend took a step closer towards the elevator, and Emily brought a hand over her mouth in muffled laughter when the doors slammed shut in front of him, their sunshine rookie entirely spooked and needing a quick exit.
The tiny metal box went silent, Spencer watching her face meld from alarm to horror, to sheer embarrassment.
âI mean, Iâll give it to you kid, thatâs one way to do it,â Rossi said, patting her on the back and she shoved her face in her hands, the stems of the dove white flowers brushing against her cheek roughly.
âPlease tell me that didnât just happen,â She groaned through her fingers, JJ chuckling as the doors to their own floor opened up.
âOh honey,â She said, rubbing the girlâs back gently, leading her out onto the BAU carpet that felt harsher against the souls of her shoes than it ever had before, âI think what you need is a coffee and a long talk with someone who isnât a dog,â
Spencer watched her shuffle to slump down behind her desk, her expression still rattled and lost, JJâs eyes flicking to him every now and then in a way that urged him to be the one to do just that because it was obvious by now who she talked the most openly to in the office.
But by the time heâd braved walking over to her desk, sheâd already rushed through her report, excusing herself home for the day, and he knew her well enough to know she needed some breathing room before he could approach the subject, otherwise she would shut the doors on him too.
He hated the spiteful part of him that revelled in Taylorâs expression when that metal screen had slammed in his face.
â
It was three days later, and she had enforced a strict ban on talking about that day in the office. For once she didnât look like she was going to break her resolve either, since every time someone tried to weasel information of her she would either pretend she hadnât heard, or would excuse herself to make her fifth coffee of the day, or even had thrown her paperwork on the floor when Luke had pushed her for an answer just for an excuse to avoid the topic.
In fact, Spencer himself had been tempted to get her alone because he knew she would crack without much pressure from him, though the thought of using her trusting nature against her seemed wicked, and so he stopped himself and settled for curiosity.
It wasnât until they were away on a case and they were shoved in a room together that the subject of Taylor was even brought up, and even then it was entirely out of his control.
âIâll take the couch,â Spencer said, his eyes falling on the double bed in the centre of the room, striding over the other side of the room to throw his to go bag down on the two seater sofa that would wreck his back.
âDonât be silly, we can just share the bed.â She said, as if it was the most obvious solution, which it was, âI sleep talk a little, but just give me a shove and Iâll shut up,âÂ
Spencer paused, watching her fumbling around her bag for her toothbrush and paste.
âWonât your boyfriend mind?â He asked, his palms clammy because he worried for a moment it was wrong to bring it up, and his chest butterflied when she froze, âSorry, I know you didnât want to talk about it, I just thought I wouldnât like my girlfriend sharing a bed-â
âWe broke up,â She said, taking pulling a large pink shirt out her bag and some strawberry printed shorts, her toiletries stuffed in her pockets, âSo donât worry about any of that stuff, we can share,â
And she waltzed into the bathroom without any more explanation, the lock clicking behind her and leaving Spencer alone with his thoughts.
They had broken up? Was it because of what happened in the elevator? Was it because of what Penelope said in the car? Was she the one to break up with him or the other way around?
Spencer felt like a gossip, even though his thoughts had gone no further than his cranium, and by the time she emerged from the bathroom, fresh faced and in her pyjamas, he had already changed himself, tucked himself under the cover in the hope she understood they didnât need to talk about it if she didnât want to.
She smiled at him, tucking her dirty clothes back in her bag and heading for the bed, slipping under the plush duvet with a soft ooft.Â
âLight on or off?â She asked, her finger hovering over the switch beside their bed.
âOn, if thatâs okay?â He replied and she nodded wordlessly, shuffling down under the covers, pulling them up to just below her armpits. Crossing her arms over her stomach like she was snow white waiting to fall into a poison-laced slumber, her eyes bore holes into the ceiling, and his thoughts banged loudly against his temple. The silence of the room seemed to only turn their avoidance tactics into a cacophony they couldnât ignore.
âIf youâre going to ask questions, I might as well tell you before we get back to Quantico.â She said finally, her sigh heavy and exhausted and she looked over at him, his brunette locks splaying over the pillow in waves, his facial hair scratching against the sheet when he flicked his head over to her too.Â
Hazel had never been such a pretty colour than when they sat in silence for a moment, staring at one another, almost daring the other to speak first. He swallowed, his mouth watering at how she looked, tucked under the sheets, her body lax and soft under her pyjamas, her hands skimming over her stomach nervously.
âIs it because of the day in the elevator?â Spencer asked after a few minutes, breaths suddenly becoming difficult to regulate naturally unless he forced them to be, because he was so close to her under the covers, his entire body too long and gangly for just a twin bed, he could smell her shampoo and conditioning combo in full force. Her spearmint tongue rolled words around her mouth for a minute, dropping down to his Star Wars shirt he felt childish for wearing the minute he saw her looking at it.
âKind of, he just wanted us to move so fast, it just kinda made me nervous, but I always thought being nervous was supposed to be good, you know?â She sighed, forgetting to breathe in between her splurge of words that had been building up inside her for weeks, âLike you said the feeling of excitement and fear are almost identical so I think I just convinced myself I was being dumb and I was being a bad person for not just giving him what he wanted. Iâm supposed to love him, right? Being his girlfriend and all that,â
He had said that; because scientifically that was exactly correct. The hormones released during love and during fear were, down to their core, chemical matches, and it felt funny sheâd remembered that fact considering she made him feel somewhere in between too. He knew she was special, just as much as he knew the idea of tainting her with his core terrified him. Like he secreted some kind of radiation that would ruin her if she got too close for too long. But he couldnât help it. How do you stop yourself from wanting something good? It was just science. A Pavlovian response.Â
âYouâre not supposed to do anything. Thereâs no timeline for how you feel, and you canât force yourself to feel something any quicker or stronger than you do,â He said, shaking his head when she bit her lip, her fingertips playing with one another ontop of the sheets.
âHe wanted to know when I was ready to haveâŠâ She swallowed, her cheeks heating, âIntimacy with him. A-and itâs not like Iâve not done it before, I had a boyfriend in high school, but I just felt like with himâŠâ
âHe didnât pressure you, did he?â Spencer asked, his brows furrowing as he felt a surge of annoyance flash through his blood that she had wound herself up so much just because of some guy who couldnât keep it in his pants for a few months.Â
Her eyes widened, taking in the storm brewing in that beautiful woodland gaze of his, and she shook her head quickly, âNo, no, nothing like that. This was all on me, it was all just me being dumb,â
âYouâre not being dumb just because some guy didnât like the answer you gave,â He corrected, exhaling deeply and letting his frown drop, because he knew she hated when he did that, âWhy didnât you want to, if you donât mind me asking?â
She shrugged, looking back up at the dusty lamp shade hanging from the ceiling, the cobwebs that smattered around the wooden panels.
âI donât know, I just kind of never saw the two of us.. becoming intimate, you know?â She said, her tone sheepish like she was in confession and he was a priest sat on the other side of the divide. He looked over at her, scanning the outline of her face, but she seemed adamant on avoiding his gaze, because she knew she would spill everything the minute she looked at him. With Spencer, there were no secrets, and that was entirely the problem.Â
Spencerâs lips pursed, thinking of exactly the right thing to say to such a delicate soul when she was laying herself hypothetically bare for him.Â
âYou donât have to be intimate in a relationship if you donât want to. No one who loves you should ever make you feel like thereâs an expectation or like you owe them that,â Spencer explained softly, edging his pinky finger out the tiniest bit to catch the back of her hand that now lay flat on the bed, her head turning up to meet his round forest hues that looked down at her with more softness than heâd felt in a long time.Â
He wished he could stay here with her forever. In the quiet of this room, they were just the two of them, not Doctor Reid and the Special Agent he had a huge hopeless crush on that was years his junior and thought she could fix everything wrong with the world.Â
âI know,â She sighs, and his heart caught in his throat when her pinky raises up to meet his own, the tips of their fingers brushing against one another like they were meeting each other for a slow dance. He had touched her many times before, but there was something illicit about this time. Like their skin had become oppositely charged and was pulling the other one in with an electric crackle, âHe never pressured me but I felt like I could have tried harder to want it.â
âIf you donât want it, you donât ever have to have it. A lot of people reach your age when your frontal cortex is developed and realise they might be asexual, itâs not a bad thing-â He tried reassuring her, but she was quick to shake her head again, bashfully ripping her eyes away from him to look at their caressing fingertips.Â
âNo, no. Itâs not that I never want to be intimate ever, I just never really felt comfortable around him enough to let myself want it. Like I couldnât just be me with him, I was just being what he wanted me to be. Like he never really knew the real me,â She explained, and she rolled over onto her side to face him, her other finger coming up to absentmindedly trace over the prominent vein that ran up his arm, stopping just below where his old needle scars were at the crook of his elbow. If she saw them, she didnât say a word, but Spencer felt like she was trailing a flame over his skin. He thought if she took his manhood in her hand sheâd probably get the exact same response from him, because with every invisible swirl and line she drew over his skin, he felt a heat ripping through his loins. âDoes that make sense? Like I didnât think he would like the ikky parts of me so I ended up putting on a charade,âÂ
âY-yeah,â He replied, and his stammer made her look up, eyes wide and innocent as she watched him all but falling apart under a single fingertip. God he was pathetic. Mid thirties and nearly finishing in his boxers over a pretty girl touching his arm. Only it wasnât just a pretty girl. It was her. His sunshine girl. âBut I donât think you have any ikky parts, to be honest,â
Her eyes deepened into pools of awe, and he watched her trail a glance down his nose to his mouth vulnerably.
âSpencer, youâre being too kind,â She whispered, and he swore his chest lurched.
He cleared his throat, and moved to roll over towards her too, hoping to disperse some of the energy that was clogging between them, only for it to become dialled to a hundred, trapping them in a tiny box where they were looking at one another, laying on the bed they were being forced to share and almost holding hands, because committing to full thing was scary like they were ten years old in a playground.Â
âOf course that makes sense. Itâs much healthier to form intimate relationships with people we trust and feel safe with than rushing into things,â Spencer tried to breeze past the tension, but her breath was fanning over his face, almost tripping him over his words, because she was still looking at him like he knew all the answers. Because he usually did. Except for this time. This time, he felt like he was walking blind towards his point, âNot that one night stands should be shamed or anything, but itâs much better to engage in sexual intercourse with someone when it feels right,â
She breathed out deeply, licking her lips, and her finger movements stopped.Â
âSo itâs just a when you know, you know, kind of thing?â She asked, her brows pulling together in a saddened frown, âIâm not, like, broken or anything?âÂ
He sat up on his elbow, grabbing her wrist tight enough she would listen the minute he said it to her, because he never wanted to hear her say that again, âThere is nothing wrong with you, you hear me?â She looked up at him with glassy eyes, wide and shocked to see him so desperately insistent over her, âYou feeling secure is more important than any guy out there, no matter how nice they are, got it?âÂ
She nodded after a beat, because she thought her brain might have stopped working with the way he was leaned over her, looking down at her with a glimmer of the harshness heâd been drowning in when she first met him. These days he seemed to have mellowed out the tiniest bit, except the straightforward tone he held with everyone else who wasnât her, or the general heavy handedness he didnât seem to realise he was capable of. Like in the way his warm, rough hands gripped the skin of her wrist, his expression somewhat frustrated though not with her as he looked down at where she was half beneath him.
âSpence?â She whispered into the electricity between them, her eyes trailing over his nose again and ghosting over his half attempt at facial hair. They were just whisps, but they suited him embarrassingly well. He didnât reply, just stared at her to wait for her response, âI feel safe with you, you know that?âÂ
He swore his heart was thumping out of his chest. She looked divine under his hand, sweet like a pudding begging him to taste, and he couldnât help it when his thumb trailed up the side of her jaw, brushing just under her bottom lip, and she seemed to press herself further into his touch, a cat being scratched behind velvet ears.
âYouâd tell me if you ever wanted me to stop, wouldnât you?â He murmured, gooseflesh crawling up his arm when she nodded, her eyes boring holes into his soul when she looked up at him like that. Â
âAlways,â She answered honestly, blinking at him once, twice, before she took a deep breath for courage, âBut what if I never wanted you to stop?â
Spencer nearly moaned when he crashed their lips together, and he heard her squeak in delight beneath him, his large hand cupping her jaw, weaving into her hair, tugging her closer. She felt like her was consuming her whole, and she had no qualms about it, not when she reached a hand up to his shoulder and tugged him even more on top of her, the weight of him on her chest comforting and achingly right.Â
He pulled away to breathe for a moment, but she was chasing his lips, her touch maddening and he swore his brain switched off when she ran a hand up his spine, slipping under his shirt and tracing over every one of his vertebrae making him shiver. Her lips were stronger than any craving he had ever felt, the instant dopamine rush embarrassing for a man of his age, so hardened by the world reduced to putty, ready to beg for more because now heâd had a taste of her ambrosia, he didnât think he could ever think straight again. A man sent crazy by forbidden wine.
He pushed her hair away from her face, using his long fingers to wrap around the back of her head and pull her impossibly closer to him, his other arm skirting down to her clothed waist and pressing their bodies together. She whined in his mouth, and Spencer thought he could finally die happy.
He pulled away to let her catch a gasp, her fingers carding through his long, brown curls, scratching against his scalp in a way that drew a low growl from his throat. He needed more, needed her, more than the air he gulped down ravenously and he found himself kissing at her soft neck, her head tipped back in bliss as he kissed every inch he could.
âThe reason I didnât want it with Taylor,â She choked between manic breaths, her hands holding onto him so tight he knew she didnât have any intention of asking him to stop, âWas because it didnât feel like this,â
Spencer wove their fingers together, pushing her hand above her head as the other came up to tilt her face towards him, looking into her bleary eyes for a second, their noses ghosting past one another, her mint breath delicious on his lips.
âIt never feels like this, baby,â He whispered, their foreheads pressing together before he gave into her again and pressed his lips against hers so hard she whimpered into his mouth.
Description: Something's different about Reid and no-one knows what. However, a surprise delivery to the BAU may just have the answer...
Warnings: Food references, mentions of mental health, mentions of medical procedures, references to smutty behaviour, Spencer being adorable
Masterlist
âOk. Am I the only one whoâs noticed somethingâs different with Reid lately?â Morgan remarked, watching as the said boy-genuis made his way across the bullpen and over to his desk.Â
âYeah,â Emily hummed, watching the young agent over the rim of coffee cup. She had to admit it - as much as it annoyed her - Morgan was right; Spencer has definitely been acting different. If anything, she was surprised it had taken them all this long to say anything.Â
Normally, they were all over each other the moment they noticed anything even remotely different about each other. Hell, sheâd barely taken a step off the elevator, after getting an extra few inches cut off at her latest haircut, before the team were quizzing her about possible life changes and whether or not they needed to be worried about her.Â
It was a hazard of working with profilers for a living; it was almost impossible to keep anything a secret. No wonder they were all intrigued and slightly confused by the fact that none of them had been able to pinpoint what was going on with their friend.Â
The most notable difference was the gradual disappearance of the dark circles under his eyes. Reid also seemed happier in general, less quiet and reserved when talking to others, and it was starting to make agents talk.Â
Morgan and Emily stood up straighter as JJ walked over to join the unofficial gossip session. She took one look at the pair and knew immediately what they were whispering about.Â
âAre you talking about Reid?â
âOh yeah,â Morgan grinned, âmy moneyâs on him having finally found someone.â
Emily choked, seemingly as a result of inhaling her coffee at the grand statement. âWhat?â
âOh, come on, Miss âsuper spyâ. Just look at him,â he teased. âHeâs been distracted. Heâs all goo-goo eyed and heâs been leaving this place at a normal hour. Like⊠tell me that doesnât scream âI got a dateâ.â
âWhat? It could be loads of things. It doesnât have to be a date, right JJ?â
âHeâs probably just happy. Weâve all been getting more sleep lately and our paperwork is non-existent at the moment,â JJ murmured, reaching past the pair of them to grab for the coffee pot. She was clearly doing her best to try and put this line of questioning to rest. Sheâd always been the first to protect the younger agent she now saw as a little brother. âBesides, we all know heâs not interested in dating, he hasnât been sinceâŠ. Well, you know.â
Morgan groaned. âBut what about the secret texts, JJ!â he protested, ignoring the look Emily shot him in return. âHeâs been glued to that phone of his and keeps giggling like a school kid. Then thereâs the lunches! I know heâs always been organised and likes things a certain way, but damn. His lunches have been like next level - and actually healthy? And I swear heâs had jello like every day.â
JJ rolled her eyes. âYouâre basing your profile on jello? Is that it?âÂ
âWell, no I mean⊠did you not hear the part about the texting and the taking secret calls and the fact he didnât come out for drinks last night-â
â-Canât we just be glad for him? Whatever is going on, itâs good for him. Letâs just drop it, ok? Heâll tell us when heâs ready if thereâs anything to share.â
âJJâs right,â Emily echoed. âReidâs just ⊠happy. End of.â
By the way Morgan frowned it looked like it definitely was not the end of this conversation, but he never got the chance to argue. In fact, he was interrupted as the main doors opened next to them and a rather lost looking receptionist hurried through.Â
Normally, this wouldnât have been worth noticing but all three of them spun around at the sound of him calling out the name, âAgent Reid? uh⊠Is Agent Reid here?â
âOh, uh, here!â Spencer shouted, soundly vaguely like he was taking roll call. It didnât help that he shot his arm up in the air too, almost falling off his desk chair as he lurched to his feet and hurried over. âThatâs⊠thatâs me - and itâs Dr Reid, but it doesnât matter. How can I help?â
âOh, uh, thereâs a Y/N at reception for you,â the unfortunate messenger managed, gesturing back the way theyâd came. âI told them to wait whilst I came to check with you as theyâre not on your visitor list-â
Spencer didnât even let the poor man finish. He was already racing for the door before the man had even made it to the end of the sentence. Needless to say, the others were quick to follow, with Morgan smugly boasting âtold you sooooâ as he went.Â
There was no way on earth they were missing this and considering Hotch and Rossi hadnât arrived yet it wasnât like they were about to get their asses handed to them for missing their briefing either.Â
Despite the amount Spencer had told you about the BAU, you were still surprised by how different the FBI offices were to what youâd imagined.Â
The offices were larger and the sheer number of people walking about in suits and carrying a side arm made you feel even more nervous, and that was already a problem considering you were stood there wearing neon blue scrubs, embroidered with jungle animals on the pocket.Â
You were like a walking, flashing sign, screaming âoutsider - does not work hereâ. Thankfully, you werenât going to be there long. You were only swinging by on your way to work, hoping to catch your utterly perfect - and utterly forgetful - boyfriend, before the start of your shift.Â
Speaking of Spencer, you had only been standing there for possibly five minutes when you saw him barreling through the doors towards you.Â
âHey, Spence-â
âY/N? Honey? Whatâs going on?â he gushed, hurrying over and taking your face in his hands. You could see his wide eyes frantically scanning every inch of you, looking for some kind of problem or sign that you were not ok. âIs everything alright? What are you doing here?â
You felt your cheeks warm at the sudden display of concern, very much aware of the scene your wonderful boyfriend was making. Spencer wasnât normally the most affectionate in public, preferring to save those rare moments for when the two of you were alone. The fact he was so worried about what might have brought you to the FBI on a Tuesday morning was touching and made your heart swell.Â
âIâm fine, Spence. Donât worry-âÂ
âThen what are you doing here?âÂ
âYou forgot something,â you soothed, pulling back and reaching into your satchel. It was impossible to miss the way his face reddened as you pulled out a neatly labeled Dr Who Tupperware by way of explanation. âIâm here because you were in such a rush this morning that you forgot your lunch.â
âOh.â
âYes, âohâ,â you teased. âI couldnât exactly let you go hungry so I thought Iâd drop it off on my way to work. I donât start till later as Iâm covering Ameliaâs shift as sheâs visiting her sister in Boston, so I thought Iâd swing by.â
Sure, Spencer was an adult and you could have let him just buy something from the cafeteria or order something in for lunch, but considering how much effort he had gone to to cook with you the day before you felt bad letting it go to waste.Â
Heâd been so proud of the way the recipe had turned out, following the instructions and your guidance with extreme precision and care. The result had been a rather tasty looking dish - and it had the added benefit of being healthy too. You were always worried that Spencer seemed to think fast food, like Pizza, was a food group. Then again, he had been forced to be an adult pretty fast and had been in college so young that it wasnât a surprise that no-one had been there to teach him about cooking and eating right. He had been too focused on his studies to even think about anything else. Â
It was something he had been working on since youâd got together and now cooking had become one of your favourite date night activities. It didnât hurt that you often ended up spilling food all over yourselves and needing to shower together - it was just a lovely bonus. In fact, your screensaver was now a picture of you and Spencer, covered in flour, and beaming ear to ear.Â
âThank you, that⊠thatâs so nice,â Spencer stammered, âbut I feel bad. You didnât need to go out of your way and bring it to me.â
âAs I say, itâs on my way to work. Itâs no trouble.â
âWell, still-â
âHey, pretty boy!âÂ
Spencer froze.Â
âYou gonna introduce us to your friend, or what?â
Spencer opened his mouth but instantly closed it again. You knew by the way he rolled his eyes and began muttering under his breath that whoever had shouted that had definitely been talking to him.Â
You couldnât help but giggle. âPretty boy, huh?âÂ
âDonât ask,â he whined, taking a deep breath as you looked over his shoulder and saw a small group of people now making their way towards you. âI should probably mention that I wasnât sure how comfortable you were with me mentioning you, so I havenât told anyone about us yet and those idiots are some of my team and I would say ârunâ but theyâre all faster than me.â
âAh⊠I see. So Iâm guessing that one is Morgan?âÂ
âYes.â
âWell, no time like the present,â you cheered, turning and waving at the approaching trio. âHi. Nice to meet you. Iâm Y/N - Spencerâs girlfriend.â
âWow. A girlfriend?â cooed Morgan, reaching over to pull you into a hug before the other two could stop him. To their credit, they looked slightly embarrassed by the display but they were clearly too interested in your identity to care. âAnd a doctor to boot? Didnât know he had it in him. Iâm Derek Morgan.â
âOh, I worked that out. Itâs good to finally meet you all.âÂ
The others were quick to echo the sentiment, with JJ and Emily quickly introducing themselves in tandem. They were also quick to invite you inside the office for some coffee, but thankfully you werenât lying when you said you had to get to work.Â
âYou know how it is. People to take care of, medical cases to solve, lives to save - same old, same old. All Iâm missing is a snazzy badge and I could be an FBI agent.âÂ
âHa ha.â Spencerâs smile was genuine as you stole a kiss before making a dash for your car. However, you could see the nerves in his eyes at being left alone to face the great inquisition that now awaited him following the discovery of your existence. You were pretty sure the entire BAU would know about you before it even hit lunchtime. âIâll see you later, ok?âÂ
âOf course. Just let me know if youâre coming home or if youâre off saving the world in another state - otherwise I canât promise I wonât eat all the leftovers before you get back.âÂ
He chuckled. âWill do.âÂ
With that, you bid the others goodbye, making sure to agree when they asked (more like insisted) that you came to their family dinner on Friday night at none other than Rossiâs house. The rest of the team were going to be begging to meet you after this, and they were all bringing their families along too.Â
If Spencer wasnât comfortable with you going you were pretty sure the team would believe it if you said youâd got called into a last minute surgery, but youâd check later when you both returned to the apartment you now called your home. Either way, you were going to have to make something to take with you, just in case.Â
As your grandpa had always said, there was no quicker way to someoneâs heart than through their stomach. Or, as in Spencer's case, with an unlimited supply of Jello...
