Hi. Honestly, it feels terrible coming back to this blog for this reason, but I left most social media for my still-declining mental health last year.
My partner is going to be away for three weeks in two weeks time, and it’s been deemed by those around me that I’m not well enough to be living alone during that time. So I’m being sent to live with my abusive mother for two weeks.
Unfortunately, I still have very few healthy coping mechanisms, and this situation has lead me to spiral to one of my lowest points in years. I haven’t been so genuinely terrified that I will relapse for a very long time. I have never been away from my partner for three weeks since we met three years ago, and I haven’t stayed with my mother alone for over a year now.
My mother was very neglectful and emotionally abusive as I grew up, and our relationship took an even bigger turn for the worst when I came out as trans in 2014. Six years later, and she still deadnames me, misgenders me and uses my assigned gender as a pet name.
As selfish as this may sound, I want something positive to focus on while I’m staying there. Something that requires time, care and attention that will equally give me a small amount of self confidence, as I know my dysphoria will be wrecking me while I’m there.
So, basically, I’m trying to fundraise for a new piercing, something that can be a distraction for me while I’m staying with my mother. I understand that this might seem silly, or small, but for me I’m just hoping for something that can even give me a short moment of positivity in what will definitely be three very tough weeks.
This is my PayPal link. Excuse one of my old names being used.
Any donations are much appreciated.
