[hellvive]

     # HELLVIVE ---  a canon divergent independent and selective for dean winchester of eric kripke's supernatural series. a study in good vs evil, carrying the weight of the world, toxic masculinity, loss of ones childhood, child soldier mentality, and unwavering loyalty in an absent father. a broken and tragic hero complex, self hate, and suicidal ideation. these are some of the themes present on this blog, but there are certainly more that might be triggering, and will be tagged as such.  . . .   ( psa: this blog does not recgonize season 15 or it's ending for dean . )

heavily affiliated with: @benbraeden & @guiltye   @hervelle /  ( carrd )

blog roll : @forallt1me @punishwar @shinsoku @luc1fell ( side blog to this one )

[hellvive]

since i feel a little more comftorable sharing the new place that i moved dean too ( sort off ) but this reminds me to finally do actual writing. the motivation simply just vanished til now so here we go to anyone who i didn't follow initially, and don't take it to heart if i didn't when you've got at least 50+ follows if that count is even right some simply fall through the cracks. for a while i was cherry picking my dash to not feel so much in a fog when it came to this blog, and so without further ado @wrathunts

[hellvive]

so i cannot shake that i feel absolutely isolated in this blog. i got a lot of followers from my soft-reboot, and branching back out yet i still feel boxed in. a lot of plots and or ideas i have talked about since coming back yet never doing anything. i think i will just archive this blog and make another but downscale to being more or less, a private blog and mutuals only blog. i will only likely stick to that within the first month maybe? i just need a change and so with that being said hit this with a one of those hearts or whatever if you want to remain mutuals through this change?

[amazingmaeve]

BECCA & BUTCHER

2×04 Nothing Like It in the World

The Boys (2019-present)

[hellvive]

come find me at @forallt1me finally convinved myself to bring back my multi which will primarily feature my star wars oc. it's still getting set up because i never did it before.

[hellvive]

would anyone be willing to write with my star wars oc? to be honest i don’t even know if the fandom is still active.

[hellvive]

the storm of rage that was brought on by having reached his own breaking point with the mark, a betrayal by his brother despite good intentions ( the hyprocricsy for dean to be this mad is another post entirely ), the death of charlie at the hands of humans. there was nothing saying that the styne family was anything short of ordinary is a lie but they are technically mortal. once he takes in the first kill then the others and so on and so forth it get's harder to dial it down. it's a new level of rage that he's never felt and the trip that takes him on includes the death of that one hunter whose name i forgot, but a week long slash fest of monsters, innocent or not so innocent hunters, and it all leads up into the finale of that season. though dean's mentality and what he was thinking may be a headcanon at some point too. because it's a train wreck.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR PRE ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS AND CREATING HISTORY BETWEEN CHARACTERS *  assorted dialogue for giving your characters a history and giving them past things or events to talk about, adjust as necessary

do you remember what i told you last time?

have you been doing well since i saw you?

that's not what you told me back then.

when was the last time i saw you?

you were shorter then.

i'm picking the restaurant this time.

we've known each other since we were children.

always knew i could count on you.

that time was different. this is worse.

you're not going to let me live that down, are you?

i seem to remember a conversation we had back then.

so you changed your mind about it?

do you remember our encounter in paris?

you should know me by now.

am i the only one that knows the truth?

we had a lot of help back then.

your mom told me to look out for you.

you just love bringing that back up to annoy me.

maybe don't mention my past indescretions?

this was never going to work out between us.

i told you not to get attached.

i know more about you than you think.

i was there, remember?

i'm not about to forget all the shit you put me through.

you told me you were going to try and make this work.

remember what i said to you?

the last time i saw you, things were good between us.

you never mentioned this before.

that was the longest flight of my life, and you made it worse.

can i still trust you after all that?

at least we tried to make something work.

we never discussed what happened between us.

okay, but i'm driving the car this time.

i haven't forgotten what you said last week.

i'm still thinking about your comment.

i didn't realize it was you when i first saw you.

you seem to make a lot of enemies around here.

there's not much for us to talk about.

we worked it out last time.

i know you far better than you know yourself.

we have a long history.

is that the shirt you were wearing last time?

what don't i know about you?

i haven't told them about us.

you were the only person i could go to.

you know me.

this is bigger than both of us.

i can't stand your driving.

are you taking me to the place we had dinner last time?

that's not at all what you said.

didn't we agree on that?

i thought i made it very clear where i stand.

are these the same people that came after you last time?

are you still going on about it?

can we talk about it?

staying silent about it won't help.

you're the only person who knows the real me.

this is a bad time to talk about your problems.

[memepocalypse]

You've Gone Too Far

"What have you done?"

"How could you let this happen?"

"Why are you covered in blood?"

"My God, you're a monster."

"How could you do this?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You're not who I thought you were."

"Oh, my god. My god. What have you done?"

"You've gone too far this time."

"We can't go back from this."

"Get away from me!"

"This - this wasn't meant to happen."

"Who are you? What happened to you?"

"I've never been so ashamed of you."

"Why would you do this?"

"What ... what are you?"

"I'm never going to trust you again."

"Stay the fuck back."

"I thought you were my friend..."

"Get - get away - get back -"

"You're sick."

"You're fucked up."

"I never wanted this! No!"

"You don't understand why this is wrong, do you?"

"I should never have trusted you."

[hellvive]

one day i will bring back my star wars ( bounty hunter / mandalorian oc ). the only part is he was written before the mandalorian series and any further lore added to it, such as the dark saber which my oc as a direct descendant of pre vizsla and as such tarre vizsla. that he managed to retake the dark saber and kept it as in his mind it’s a vizsla heirloom. it belongs to his even if for most of his childhood and into early adulthood he is separated from his culture. obviously it is my own character and i can choose not to write in disney canon, but i love din and the cast of characters in the mandalorian. which means i will cherry pick it if I bring him back.

[hellvive]

when you want to do an edit for @luc1fell but photoshop skills are ass. it's why i am remaining iconless because i also just don't have the paitence to icon a handful of icons for lucifer ( whose fc is hayden christensen ) we've moved on from mark for good reason. which reminds me lucifer is open for all interactions, but keep in mind i am heavily canon divergent. if you do want to interact and do have any questions regarding canon changes to him and his story within the narrative.

[hellvive]

it's truly depressing that from the moment we meet dean and sam. the story slowly begins to unravel that his identity is heavily tied his family, to his brother and father, and to their job but his own identity? it's almost nonexistent because without them? he is nothing and cannot be anything because he has only ever existed for one purpose as his he quoted his father " protect sammy. look after your little brother boy. " this isn't a post aimed at targeting john winchester for his faults, but the insecurities that dean carries from the very moment and nearly til the end of the series. it is one that continously plays on a vicious cycle on repeat with details only slightly changing. another that dean truly believes himself unworthy of love, admiration, the ability to ever truly be happy. that his happiness exists only for the job and to the people he saves, case in point for others. one can argue that when he says that there is no other place he would rather be, then in the impala, and with his brother at his side? it's still tied to his brother and a duty that was doctrined into his head at a young age, and it's honorable because they're saving people, and in a small way make the world a better place. i think it's worth mentioning that any single memory he had in heaven? he is never absent of a single person...except in the one memory where he was searching for sam after he left for standford. dean winchester has always lived for others and never once himself. in the fifteen years of the show's run the only moment of happiness is when they're free from chuck's narrative, and the moment he begins to live for himself he dieds literally days, weeks, or months later? it's a slap in the face and that even if dean spends a majority of the show believing himself unworthy of live and that his own needs are lesser then that of those he loves? it's why refuse to acknowledge the ending of supernatural, but the rest i do because it's part of dean's journey. to break the cycle he contiously stays in because it's hard to when it's all he has known? i may misunderstanding the points in between, a and z, but no one can argue that his struggle has always been he is his own worst enemy.

[hellvive]

as a dean winchester blog i think it's a crime i haven't written with any bobbys. the real and most heinous crime is...no sam? like brother? you're older brother is just going to eat god awful amounts of junk good and make poor decisions. such as watching guy fieri's triple d and then turning around and making said food.

[hellvive]

why is it the one perfect url i want to use is hoarded by a blog with no posts and is seemingly inactive? i suppose i just settle for less?

[hellvive]

i didn't mean to hurt you.

heaven was paved with good intentions or was it hell? demons and angels? it was all the same by this point having become enemies of the states. in this constant pursuit of battle with forces of heaven, and hell just how much have they faced together? as a family against the very fabricated fate in-store for them, and at what cost? sam casting himself into the pit to be caged with his brother, michael and lucifer? dean had wanted to tear the world apart to save his baby brother because this wasn’t how the story was supposed to end. dean didn’t want the story to end despite how stacked the odds were in the uncertainty of the end of the world? because it was always him and sam against the world that no matter how dangerously toxic their destructive co-dependency is to themselves, and the bloody path they carve through it all. the winchesters always won together, for better or worse, and he desperately knew this was the worse of the worst to be forsaken in a world without his brother. to see it move on without him.

of course castiel and bobby were there always beside them storming the gates to their righteous war against evil, or at least until they weren’t. castiel beginning a civil war within heaven and as for bobby he went on as he always had before the brothers. a life with was lisa was a long-shot, the biggest of pipe dreams, and in all his grief it was a surprise she took him in. a wise man or dumb man once said that all good things come to an end. he knew the other shoe would drop because it always does. every fiber of his being couldn’t believe how he foolishly ever thought he could have what he has wanted for so long, but never uttered a single word instead it was repressed under years of alcoholism, anger, and denial til it nearly swallowed him whole.

“ i don’t care cas. i don’t have the strength to keep caring. not anymore…because you’re making a mistake. ”

there is vile poison that spews from his mouth it’s not from a place of hate that dean berates the angel. it was born from betrayal despite everything in him that wanted to remain loyal. because after all they had been through? the angel has given his life at least twice in service to the winchesters, and too dean. his breath hitches in his throat as if he was choking on the very words he wants to say, he doesn’t meet castiel eyes because he can’t and he won’t falter now.

“ because when it’s all said and done man we’re going to stop you. no…i will stop you no matter what it takes.”

dean who was teetering on the very edge of the abyss to fall into the deep dark drink of the dark waters. his deep green gaze finally turns to face him for the first time.

“ the bitch of it all is i would have thrown it all away. for you…for sam and we could’ve done it together don’t you get that?! but go ahead..see where workin with that limey son of a bitch gets you.”

dean turns his back to castiel with no real way of knowing how they come back from this? the once humble live that he had it was gone, he has lost lisa and ben. as for sam he was in far worse shape soon to be another causality of this fight. postute stiffens as he hurriedly puts up the strongest defense he can, fists tighten in anger, and truthfully he wanted to lash out against castiel. to fall into old patterns. because the years of toxic masculinity have become so customary to how to handle situations. why did it have to end this way with his life in shambles again, because of angels, and demons.

it is always what it always meant to be. the sacrificial soldier is all he would ever be. dean winchester was no hero. a book full of failures, dead family and friends surround him. they were sheep to the slaughter for his war with his hands permanently stained with their blood.

[hellvive]

after playing silent hill 2 remake. though dk expect dean to have a silent hill verse soon.

[hellvive]

a realization that i now had ( not that it hasn't rattled around in my brain for a while now ) thru a discussion with one of my buddies. through each and every re-watch of supernatural, but i somehow forget that dean likes anime. not just anime but he has watched and enjoys hentai. dean being a lowkey weeb wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, but here we are all the same.