cabin in the woods starters
âEverybody knows you canât trust Swedesâ
âYou guys better not be messing around in there.â
âWhatâs not his fault? Fucking his student or breaking up with her by email?â
ââŚAnd you have no pants on.â
âPeople in this town drive in a very counter intuitive manor.â
âStatistical fact: cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car.â
âSociety needs to crumble, weâre just too chicken shit to let it.â
âAnd did they tell you that being briefed is not the same thing as being prepared?â
âThe sign says closed.â
âIf I see one spider, Iâm sleeping in the RV.â
âThanks for being decent.â
âAsk me that again, only slower.â
âIâm still on speakerphone, arenât I?â
âMore than anything, I just want this moment to end.â
âI dare you to make out with that Moose.â
âTheyâre entirely different species, like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal.â
âCan we not talk about people in pieces anymore tonight?â
âDid you say you have poptarts?â
âIâm going to go read a book with pictures.â
âHeâs got a husband bulge.â
âI thought thereâd be stars.â
âNo matter what happens, we have to stay together.â
âMy parents are going to think that Iâm such a burnout.â
âHow hard is it to kill nine year olds?â
âDonât go nuts on me, youâre all Iâve got.â
âI donât understand, youâre celebrating?â
âTheyâre celebrating, Iâm drinking.â
âTequila is my lady!â
âLike I said, it wasnât our fault.â
âNo, Iâm not doubting you.â
âI think I can get it to down.â
âWhere else are we going to go?â
âI donât care if itâs not protocol!â
âWhy are you trying to kill us?â
âCode black, I repeat, code black!â
âHere, itâs easier with this.â
âI shouldâve seen it like you did.â
âGosh, theyâre both so enticing.â
âYou have to be strong.â
âIâm so sorry I almost shot you.â