My name isn't Doctor Dick.

'Come on Doctor, help me Quick.' An independent RP Blog for a douchebag of a BLU off-field Medic and Respawn expert.

[elpacopuente]

[thoseblusox]

Are you fucking serious with this shit stand the fuck back up. “…” Easily distracted, she plants both hands either side of his face to feel the stubble there. “Ya need'a shave.”

[helpmedoctordick]

Almost immediately, the doctor lets out a groan. This had not been what he hoped for: a lecture of shaving from someone less than half his age. If his wife was even a fraction of the devil he portrayed her to be, perhaps she would’ve bodily shaved it off in his sleep.

“Why? Don’t like a l’il fuzz?”

She’d have to learn, then, for her hands are very hastily grabbed and her palms suffer the rapid action of invading hairs tickling them.

[red-medic-rampage]

A mildly reproving glance met that comment.  Had he just compared her to…?

Never mind.

She took the notepad again, meticulously, tremulously tracing words out on the page for him to read.

I’m not picky.

[helpmedoctordick]

It wasn't the fact that he was left to his own choices when it came to preparing the woman's meal, but pondering upon whether or not she could be granted utensils with her twinges that left him hesitant. He'd have to feed her too, to be safe... He had not missed parenthood, and yet even after twenty-five years he still had to watch over a bunch of--

"What do you normally eat? One of the simpler things, preferably."

[theshortestsniper-blog]

Scoffs. “Nice to see you too asshole.”

[helpmedoctordick]

“C’mon, sweets. Don’t lie to yourself. Calypso’s hot as all hell.

But I came back for you, didn’t I?” Bats eyelashes.

[helpmedoctordick]

thoseblusox liked your post.

Pipsqueak is here to give me some advice, I see! [Bends down to somewhat meet heights.]

[helpmedoctordick]

jarredmedicine liked your post.

You understand children's colloquials, don'tcha, kiddo?

[helpmedoctordick]

It is, unfortunately, customary for my profession to inquire into whether or not you jackasses·evolved in my absence.·

...So, ugh... what do you children say?·“What is up”.

[helpmedoctordick]

Advice for Nico

[thoseblusox]

She gave him a quick two fingered salute to his order, having been admiring the bodywork– Of the car, not the Medic at her side. Once she settled herself inside, she reached over to work free the belt and assure that it was locked in place, secure, and that there wouldn’t be any chance of slipping free should the worst happen.

Initial checks finished, the Scout was free to admire the interior, reaching a hand out to feel the texture of the dashboard, it was pretty neat, owning your own car. Although she was much more of a bike person, thanks to a certain fatherly influence.

[helpmedoctordick]

He'd close the door with her entry, the stroll to the driver's seat a swift one. While she would straddle the passenger's seat, very clearly flirting with the dash of his car, the doctor spent no time gearing up his vehicle for departure. Only when he was pulling out did his attention vaguely reside on her person through vocals. It had been years since he had become anyone's mannequin, nigh decades since entering a mall for the trivial idea of clothes shopping ever breached the weaknesses of his mind.

"I hope you intend on buyin' yourself more things than me," he huffed, attention returning to the window once the car smoothly glided forward. "M' not intendin' on comin' out of this like some sorta clown."

[thoseblusox]

“Mac and cheese.” Eli replied without even thinking, it had been a pretty big staple since she had been living with her Dad. “But pizza is always nice too– We only ever get take out’a that since…Well, fuck, ya think anyone here can cook that shit from scratch?”

Not if they fancied their kitchen to remain in one piece.

“What d’ya cook f’a ya kids?”

[helpmedoctordick]

"Me," Nico scoffed. "Pizza is not a hard thing to make. The real issue to be had is fools eating raw dough and expecting it to settle within their stomach like a bee on roses.

...Their favorite is lasagna, but they don't need their old man cooking for them." Another empty laugh; they still did adore his meals, especially when it came at the end of persistent pleas. It was like a reward for them.

He never trained his animals well.

[theregoesyourhead-deactivated20]

Reflexively giving a small wince and shifting his thigh a bit away from Noemi’s touch, Noemi’s words still managed to spur on a look of confusion from the Sniper. “You know my name..?” He questioned, eyebrow raised slightly. “You been studying up on the medical charts or something?”

As the beam was flicked on, Grant allowed himself a tiny sigh of relief as the medigun worked its magic; the pain in his arm subsiding quickly. “Nah, I’m alright.” He declined, small smile not entirely masking the look of curiosity aimed over at the Medic. 

[helpmedoctordick]

"Indeed I do!" Her voice sang, lilting with the movements of a fluid, ecstatic body. Attention skittering along her work station in the form of a light blue pen jotting down information, those heterochromic eyes flicker from between her paperwork and her patient. "I've seen you before, silly!"

She would grant him his space in favor of examinig her workshop. "Oh, nothing? Not even a glass of orange juice, bambino?" The motherly murmur of concern slipped out between pouty lips as her heel pivoted her to face him.

[red-medic-rampage]

Twitchy fingers eagerly traced the cover, pausing to caress it momentarily before flicking it open clumsily and beginning a new note.

May I get something to eat?

[helpmedoctordick]

He gives the note a brief glimpse before a drowsy hand ruffled at the back of his head.

“Depends on what y’ want. M’ not sure if y’ want somethin’ messy or somethin’ simple, but I s’pose if I can cook for two shitty kids, I can make y’ somethin’ too.”

[helpmedoctordick]

theshortestsniper:

“Of course I did;  for I am Penelope, my beloved Odysseus.”

“Eeeh... can I have Calypso instead?!”

[theshortestsniper-blog]

“Holy shit–he’s back.”

[helpmedoctordick]

“Oh, darling, you missed me?”

[helpmedoctordick]

His return makes him no less lazy. All he does is fling his suitcase off to the side, the clothes that escape from an unchecked zipper failure as messy as the doctor's untamed strands of hair. Perhaps the weariness of his person will make him slightly more amicable--

“Fuckin’ back with you jackasses.”

Ah, a pipe dream. Keep smoking.

[thoseblusox]

She snorted a laugh, throwing her bike jacket over her shoulder and leaning her weight a little onto one hip. “Oh is that so eh? I guess if ya wanna seem even more of’a pedo f’a hangin’ out with me.”

The BLU gave a smirk; “But thanks– Ya wanna see my new bike? I could take ya f’a a ride… Take ya t’a that playground if ya wanna go so bad.”

[helpmedoctordick]

"Oooh yeah. Definitely. Just try not to flirt with any of the little boys there, woud ya? I don’t need you bein’ the one gettin’ arrested for pedophilia, brat.

--Ssssure. If y’ don’t kill me on that thing. I will duck right th’ fuck off if y’ start veerin’ it weird, kitten.”

[thoseblusox]

Ohh.. Oh he couldn’t be serious? By the looks of it, he certainly was, and it drew Eli up into a small chuckle of laughter, following along with his motion with a small half skip to get back to his side again.

“Oh man ya have no idea, fire loves me. It just, appears, ya know? I could be boilin’ water and it turns up like’a jilted ex.”

[helpmedoctordick]

"Time for you to learn how to soothe the savage beast, then.” Nico sneered, his destination reached with no faltering in his resolve. “Plus, I don’t work here. If it goes up in flames, maybe they’ll call me in for emergency support.

What’s your favorite thing t’ eat.”