Shmoop

"The world is nothing but a canvas for our imaginations."

[realpersonfacts]

i love reading horror movie plot synopses on wikipedia and going hehe that sounds scary. i wont watch it

[antiquariant]

gentle whispers of the September rain, acquiring dusty, second hand books that will fill all the autumn’s gloomy evenings and walking under umbrella around my campus whenever I can. 🕰🧦☕️

[sawasawako-archived]

potentially controversial opinion but i actually like it when writers/artists have a clear intention behind something and are willing to make that understood, instead of being like “oh it’s up for interpretation” for everything bc the author is dead or whatever. like yes it is up for interpretation but it’s not like the narrative is devoid of any sort of organising principle or authorial motivation. if “the author is dead” just amounts to evacuating the story of its narrative logic in practice then maybe we should resurrect the author

[lukabby]

I would die if I were a football player and had to tie my boots while everybody else watched and waited

[ratfuck]

what if I dangled a string in front of your face

[notravian]

[markv5]

Взгляд

[ddarvazaa]

all the things she said all the things she said running through my head running through my head

[cassandracalin]

[thepleasuregoblin]

A name is a spell you cast on your child when they’re born

[thepleasuregoblin]

I cast “get bullied in middle school”

[datanazush]

Power word: Melvin

[foxy-alien]

😔 is a gateway drug into using emojis fulltime

[fotobilog]

[iwillreadyourbooks]

STOP! Let the little penguin cross your dash he has places to go.

[cassandracalin]

Cheers to my caterpillar sister, Koko, for her brilliant observation 🦋

[figofswords]

Stuck.

(it’s 2am, and according to your therapist, you have “a whopping case of ADHD”

[melancholycatastrophe]

[elodieunderglass]

I felt like I needed to clarify some things before we could continue any more conversations on this godforsaken website.

I’m very proud of the European Robin, I think I really captured it.

[elodieunderglass]

I mean, I guess I’m here at clown practice regardless, but my joke “very different species of birds have carelessly been labelled with the same name in Anglophone countries, leading to global confusion as we try to communicate with each other” seemed like a sufficiently inclusive joke, being largely about English.

I could have gone on to work up some kind of joke out of “the European robin, Erithacus rubecula, is called the pettirosso in Italy and the rouge-gorge in France, rudzik in Poland, Rödhake in Sweden, goch-cam in Welsh, and so on, with most European languages making some direct reference to its red chest; Irish, however, has made the interesting choice of going for spideog.” But I guess I feel like people would just nod carefully and say “yeah, we … we usually expect different languages to have different words for things. That’s sort of the point of languages. This is not hilariously confusing at all. We want a refund.”

But tell you what, we’ll try it out on the public! I’ll post it right now! That’s what clown practice is for, baby! They can ask for all the refunds they like, they still didn’t pay me anything!

[littlefeatherasswithwings]

are you two planning on getting a pet?

Well, we are planning on getting my cat to England in December - after we settled in our new house and got jobs and everything. And then we was talking about getting a puppy (for her) as well. Since she’s more of a dog person. ;D

[charlesoberonn]

What animal is Snorlax supposed to be?

[charlesoberonn]

Oh.

Yeah, I see it.

[charlesoberonn]

[were-ralph]

Kind of a dilf tbh

[notahorseindisguise]

Snorlax, the Gamer Pokemon!

[atombombtom]

As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

[atombombtom]

Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance

[atombombtom]

now all my Youtube recommendations are filled with Miss Piggy interviews. I’m not complaining. Miss Piggy what’s your secret to ageing so graciously

[bigscaryd]

It's not just the audience; professional journalists, hosts, and actors report it is legitimately difficult to not see the Muppet as a person, and it is, in fact, incredibly easy to interview or act with them once the performer gets properly set up.

[redwaltz]

Like that one time they couldn't figure out why Kermit's audio was so garbage... then realized they'd put the mic on him instead of the performer.

[nosebleedclub]

What do you believe in now?

[moldpuppy]

self preservation through love

[sleepdopesmoker]

chupacapra

[guillotinedream]

Chupacabra as well