NO LIFE @hemmoxheartattack - Tumblr Blog

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me:

immune system:

me:

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

lordendsavior

It’s been 3 years and it’s still one of my favourite moments in British television of this decade. Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Whitehall and James Corden (from The Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2012)

kotorno

WHAT EVEN

warpedchyld

The British have never given a fuck and do not plan to start any time soon.

galway-girl

I love this

darling-i-fancy-you

my favourite thing will always be the BFQ when jack texted Chico

babyanimalgifs

this husky is mad because he wants to take a bath but isn’t allowed to

beebossinner-deactivated2023102

let my poor baby take his bath

melissa-anne-rose-deactivated20

If y'all really knew. If y'all really knew what utter drama queens huskies are this wouldn’t surprise you at all.

This is my life.

tinyelfperson

Literally my husky is the same way. He’s only a few months and he’ll cry to go back outside after being in the house two seconds.

$fractiousrvt blog's avatar$

fractiousrvt

I once ran out of my house in my pajamas at 2 in the fucking morning because I heard a dog screaming like it had been hit by a car. As I’m pelting towards the road barefoot I see an open garage with two people standing there and a husky in the back of a truck. I slowed down and asked them if that noise had been their dog.

Heavily embarrassed they admitted that it was. The reason for the godawful tortured sound the dog had made?

“We took his running harness off.”

And that was the moment I vowed to never own a husky.

grison-in-labs

I frequently pet sit for a friend’s husky, who is completely normal and unremarkable for her kind with one crucial exception.

She is dumb as soup.

(You didn’t hear that from me: her owner thinks she’s a genius, bless him.)

Anyway, my dog Tribble thinks Arya the husky is one of her very own adopted babies, so she stays with us fairly often. Reasons I have heard this dog dissolve into a screaming, wailing meltdown include:

I followed my buddy up a mildly steep hill and now she’s gone and I can’t figure out how to get down

That one cat won’t be friends with me even though all the others will

I hopped up on the sofa and the hardwood floor next to it is much more confusing than the laminate I have lived on since I was two months old and I don’t know how to get down

I’m mildly bored and my buddy yelled at me when I tried to bite her neck for the zillionth time

I want to play with that potted plant but you said I couldn’t

I’m overcome with joy because you took me on a walk to the hardware store

I want that biscuit but I forgot what sit means and now I’m frustrated

I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I forgot you weren’t dead and I’m overjoyed

You are not petting me enough

You are not petting me at all

I got lost four times in five minutes on the off leash trail and now you won’t let me off again for a while

There’s a brush and I need it

You made eye contact with me and didn’t immediately drop everything to pet me

She’s a very good dog, and she’s a sweet dog who is never offended by anything, but the screaming has singlehandedly ensued I will never, ever, ever own a husky. I like having functioning ears too much.

violent-darts

To be fair, you and your friend may both be right: huskies, like border-collies, are just intelligent enough to develop Exciting Cognitive Neuroses, much like a toddler, which frankly dumber dogs will skip because they don’t actually have quite enough extra cognitive space to think up ways to be utterly fucking ridiculous.

I kind of suspect this is going on here in part because of the dog being so very specifically upset that the one cat won’t be friends, despite all the other cats being friends, and also the overcome-with-joy bits: you’ll notice they’re very similar to what makes toddlers randomly cry for no reason.

Where a bulldog doesn’t care about the difference between laminate and hardwood, a husky is just smart enough to get VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THESE ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT AND POSSIBLY IT MEANS THAT GETTING DOWN WILL BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE AAAAAUGH! and get hysterically anxious about it.

“Smarter”, in animals as in humans, does not actually always mean “more sensible.” XD