ᴍᴜꜱᴇ.

a collection of curious thoughts, little obsessions & things i wonder about

[hercuriousthoughts]

shea — a girl figuring things out

𓂃 thoughts, questions, dreams & quiet observations

psychology • oceans • art • becoming

[the archive] • [latest entry]

[hercuriousthoughts]

i love, love loveeeee braided bobs

they’re so cute, feminine and absolutely effortless; i will never stop being obsessed with them.

[hercuriousthoughts]

butterfly effect is such a crazy thing because wdym one small decision, one random moment, one person you almost didn’t meet could completely change the direction of your life.

[hercuriousthoughts]

i’m such a perfectionist, except i’m not.

and it’s so confusing because i don’t constantly perfect things.

i either give something my entire effort and expect it to be flawless, rush through it because it needs to be done and i want it out of the way, or avoid it completely because anything less than perfect feels like a failure.

[hercuriousthoughts]

i love murder mysteries and documentaries.

not because of the tragedy itself but because of the questions they leave behind.

the way people think, the choices they make, the details everyone else overlooks and how much there is to uncover about a person.

[hercuriousthoughts]

will you be like everyone else?

or will you stay with me?

[hercuriousthoughts]

i recently found out that our bodies are a lot more connected to our daily lives than i realized.

my period came a few days late recently but i wasn’t really stressing about it. then a few days into my cycle, my mom asked if my flow was usually heavy or light and i realized that this time it was actually much lighter than usual.

she mentioned how our routines, energy levels and the way we move through life can affect our cycles. i don’t know how accurate that is, but it made me think about how interesting it is that our bodies are constantly responding to us.

[hercuriousthoughts]

Bro, tumblr needs a save button😞

[hercuriousthoughts]

I wanna be a psychologist.

I'm just so fascinated by the idea of understanding what goes on inside the human mind, what we think and how we process and choose to express it. What triggers someone? Why do they react the way they do? And how do they make sense of their experiences?

And then there's marine biology.

This one is newer, but something about it pulls me in. The idea of exploring a world that’s so different from our own, discovering what exists beneath the surface, and seeing what could be…

I don’t know. I just want to know more.

[hercuriousthoughts]

it's actually quite hilarious how our feelings especially towards ourselves exist not because of our own feelings but because of the societal standards and implications that we should do this and we should be able to do that simply because it's their ancestral beliefs that everything we say or do deserves some sort of explanation

and maybe that's the reason we spend our entire lives trying to discover our selves? because the person's who should've encouraged it ensured it was overwhelmingly diluted

[hercuriousthoughts]

i think my fascination with random things become obsessive because i like the idea of "figuring" myself out, maybe if i'm focused on this specific thing.. eventually it'll be a foundation for revealing my supposed identity

[hercuriousthoughts]

who am i?

i'm in love with the color pink and discovering new girly, "white-washed" music, dressing up in the sluttiest tops and getting piercings knowing i exist as me.

i admire my caramel-toned skin, my lips, the honey colored orbs everyone else seems to adore and the barely visible freckles that paint the right side of my cheeks.

i adore my voice and intellect, the way i'm able to adapt to scenarios, people and emotions, the way i care, the way i love especially when i shouldn't because at the end of things, everybody deserves it.

i like that I get interested in a topic, random ideas and center my being around it until something else, sometimes completely ordinary interests me knowing that previous interest won't ever, completely disappear.

i'm fascinated by the different ways i've evolved, the fact that my love hate relationship with myself and body continues to grow into something i've grown to unapologetically admire.

i could go on about the things I love about myself but truthfully, i'm providing a generalized definition and even then, the question still remains.. who am i?

[hercuriousthoughts]

maybe i should start off with an introduction, an explanation as to why i'm doing this, why i'm on here, what's my plan, how being on here, exposing myself is gonna help me or my identity..

but i don't have one.

i have no idea what i'm doing here or how to move forward and maybe right now that's completely fine? maybe i'm in need of a space where my existence doesn't require an explanation,

or at least not yet?

maybe i just need somewhere quieter than everywhere else, where i'm able to express my most random and unexplainable thoughts while i discover who i am, what i want and how i'll get there?