Motivation
Letās talk about it.
Mainly, I have none. Well, I have depression and that definitely is a hole in the bottom of my motivation bucket.
It is a struggle for me to be motivated to do things, even things I like or want to do.
Itās only two to three-ish weeks into the new year and Iām already falling out of habits I tried to start. My planking when I make my coffee? not really happening anymore. I tweaked my back and planking hurt like a motherfucker, so I stopped and didnāt start back up after my back felt better. I am still making healthier choices and cutting back on spending money but I still go over budget just that little bit too much and I still drink a soda every now and then and eat candy and sweets when offered (which happens a lot at work).
I go through all the daily motivation in my bucket just getting my ass to work everyday. And on days off, I just want to relax so all the things I wanted to be motivated to do earlier in the week just get put off indefinitely. It sucks.
But I like having goals and things I want to achieve and I will use them to my advantage. This year I wanted to make more content, be it blog posts like this one, youtube videos, or crafts, I wanted to make and create more and finish projects. Three weeks into the year Iāve yet to make a video for my personal channel (Iāve made a few for my gaming channel) and I have definitely not posted the two-ish times a week I wanted to on this blog. #Oops
But if you are a small youtuber you may be familiar with this image
And boy, oh boy, is that motivation for me to make videos. Not because Iām desperate to hold onto my patnership (I mean, kind of, but not really) but because Iām petty as shit and I want to have a big āfuck you youtubeā moment when I hit the new milestone.
Motivation doesnāt have to be a positive thing. It can be petty, as long as at the heart of it itās for you, itās not JUST motivated by pettiness. I wanted to make more videos this year and this is just another reason pushing me to do that thing.
Nor does motivation need to be an external factor that happens and pushes, it can be an internal desire too. For instance, I am chubby. Not fat, but not at the physical look or health I would like to be. I want to lose weight and I struggle a lot with self image and finding the desire to work out and eat healthy when gummy bears and sitting at the computer is so much easier...itās a problem.
I have a fascination with pin-ups and boudoir photography and have been interested in exploring doing a photoshoot in those styles.I am uncomfortable in my body as it is currently, so I always put it out of my head; that and I live in Utah, I didnāt really expect the photography studio down the street to offer such things. BUT now there is a photo studio, run by an acquaintance, who is offering such services. I can set my boudoir photoshoot goals as a motivator for losing weight. Technically itās still something outside of me motivating me, but itās something I want, an internal reason for me pushing to do the things.
Motivation isnāt a limited thing, like my bucket metaphor has been. But things can drain on it, more often than not you need to find something else to push you or a new spin and try to make it work. Just donāt get discouraged when you fail.
















