WELCOME TO MY CRAZINESS, AKA.. YOUR SAFE SPACE.
Some days, i wake up and think ‘’when will i be ready to expose myself rawly for others to feel they’re not alone?’’ and 9/10? i push it off. I use the same exact feelings any person who suffers anxiety face. ‘’what do i share?’’ ‘’will it resonate with others?’’ ‘’what if they don’t understand me?’’ ‘’will whoever read this judge me or silently judge themselves?’’ so many questions and doubts have pushed this exact day further away only for it to return back 20 folds. I GOT SHIT TO SAY. that’s what get’s me back here every time. i’ve went through the whole process of how was i going to do this, on a website? on an app? then i got an idea from a friend to go on tumblr. last time i was on here, mindless behavior was a thing [yes, i cringed as well]. I came back with a prehistoric mindset wondering how to work this app again and it’s still as simple as it’s always been. now that we’ve figured it out? let’s really get into it. and no, i’m not some punctual queen. you get what my keyboard settings are.
first and foremost, WELCOME TO HER HARMONY HUB. I created this for other women who’s been through all the woes of life. heartbreak, battered friendships, hard upbringings, traumatic situations whether it stems from your childhood, teenage years or adult years, death, dark moments in your thought process. the whole nine? that’s what i created this for. now am i perfect? hell nah. far from it actually. i have flaws & short-comings about myself that i’m working through everyday, the key is i’m self aware of that. don’t ever believe somebody who can tell you what they’re planning on doing on a daily basis and then they say ‘’i didn’t mean to do that’’ they’re lying. one thing about me, i talk through and think through a lot of the things i’ve done or plan to do throughly. i know the outcome and the possibilities of what could come of whatever the situation is and i igo through with it prepared for whatever outcome it is. i’m someone who is very intentional. if i don’t want to do it? i’m not going to do it.. [well now i am, i used to do shit all the time that i didn’t feel like]. all of that i just said shows the type of warfare i’ve encountered and that little slice isn’t even the tip of the iceberg. my story? isn’t short but it’s simple.
my name is Ange [not angel, ANNE-J] mind you, the only correlation to my birth name in that is the A. im 27 years young, born March 12th 1998, a pisces sun/rising, my moon is in Capricorn [and my soulmate is a Capricorn, and my biggest result of resentment is also a Capricorn. my mother is also a Capricorn, see how complicated that is?] i’m a cesspool of imagination, sensitivity and emotions. a water sign that is sent to heal others first and tend to forget I need to be healed in order to do the correct healing. so imagine how many failed attempts it took for me to come to terms with it? *blank stare with a bland smile*. i was born into a 2 parent home that lasted until i was 5, the reason i remember my age is there’s a core memory stuck to it that i’ll never forget [but can’t remember shit else]. for the remainder of my life my time was split between my parents, but solely? I was raised by a single mother. most of my childhood was fairly normal. i was spoiled, got anything i asked for material wise. i had the impression of my family being so tight-knit [boy was i wrong as i got older] and i did what normal kids did at each age, minus the teenage pregnancy. i got pregnant at 17, had my son after i graduated high school & became a mother at 18 on July 8th 2016. my son is the sole reason why working on myself is a priority. he needs me, i need him and how can i be the best mother for him if i’m not all the way together or AT THE LEAST, able to bring some structure back to my life without falling apart every time? becoming a mother is more fulfilling than most plus the man reason i’m so hard on myself. there’s so many points in my life that needs to be highlighted that aided to the woman i am right now, but what drove me to get closer with myself,my purpose, my spirituality, my spiritual gifts and religion? heartbreak. out of everything i plan to tell you guys, a MAN is the reason i was driven to therapy. i’ll never outwardly mention that parasite by name cause his energy is more intense than you guys have read yet. his spirit was so dark that it drained mine. every time we argued, i felt like the life got sucked out of me. every time i didn’t do something ‘’right’’ in his eyes, he verbally abused me and don’t get me started on how he treated me and the resentment i’ve built within myself letting it happen. i’m forgiving myself everyday. i know the type of woman i am and can be for a man. the moral is and will always be, he didn’t deserve me at all. the only credit that midget needs to have is breaking me to become the woman that i am today, a woman he couldn’t even get next to BY CHOICE. we can always end up in the same rooms, same atmosphere, but to think you’ll ever be next to me morally, romantically, mentally or even as a friend? you smoking and it isn’t dick. meth. i was led to therapy after a day of drinking 2 bottles of wine and trying to go to sleep by adding zzzquil on top of it. crying on the wake up and not wanting to even exist, I HAVE A CHILD, this wasn’t going to work for me. so i quickly, found a therapist… sat in her seat [nobody knew i was in therapy tho] and asked her ‘’so how does this work?’’ she said to me… ‘’well, we can start with what drove you here?’’ and i say to her ‘’I woke up and the first thing i did was go to the liquor store for bottles of wine, opened it once i left and was drunk before noon. what made me see this isn’t a healthy way to live is when i snapped at my son because all he wanted was a hug. i never want my son to feel like he’s an issue. that’s not okay with me.’’ and from there, it’s been an uphill battle. i started therapy in 2021-22. its 2025 and i’m still talking to her. not as consistently but whenever my emotions become too much for me? i email her and set up a virtual session. there’s a more in depth view of my therapy session coming soon, this post isn’t that.
i’m a complex person. my main hobby is being a writer, i write books. more so urban fiction that’s highlighting the greatness of black people. not the normal nonsense you see on wattpad about them falling for drug dealers that cheat 400 times and they take them back + vulgar sex scenes and stuff that don’t make sense. black excellence, real emotional up and downs. realistic life lessons with becoming your true self while battling with the traits you were born with or the lifestyle that’s embedded in you. what people deemed ‘’normal’’ for black culture, where there are indeed rich, successful black people that have issues as well.. i’m not no sci-fi, no fantasy, no unrealistic stories. all of mine has purpose. im currently working on a series that has a multiverse where every story teaches a viable lesson, that i learned in therapy. it’s a through planned out project and i can’t wait to share. in the past, soon as i get story ideas i tend to rush them but this .. means the world to me, so the Crimson Camouflage series/universe will probably never see the light of day in 2025. 2026?look forward to it. but this blog? will be it’s filler. might drop previews and fake sneak peeks that won’t even make the story [like most movies do, film good content and don’t add it to the final product] just give yall a feel of the characters from every story. it’s 5 stories in production. [in the works]. that’s my main hobby. i’m dabbling in art, fashion, etc. i’m a very creative person so i be wanting it to explode in a lot of things. the main things is fashion, my dream is to own a clothing line that i hand made and no one can really copy or say came from anyone else. my imagination is limitless and one day? it will be reality. other than these things, im a homebody that tends to her man & her child. sometimes sneaks a little drink, self care and yoga/pilates in. i’m a simple girl, all i want is a simple LIFE. a life so simple it’s boring to others but fulfilling to me. being in my room, watching my comfort show is enough for me. i don’t need to play the clubs, i don’t need to be in everybody face, i don’t need to experience what everyone else is… i just need what fufills ME.
there will be something’s i share privately in a community that i will create on here soon. I believe in keeping a lot of your peaceful happy moments to yourself due to negative energy & it’s on a rampage these days. everyone is miserable. you can’t even be in love in peace someone needs a piece of that. coming from a family that don’t really bask in your accomplishments but need you to bask in theirs? is where it stems from for me. i don’t know what happened to the adults before us [actually i do] but something about my generation makes them very judgmental, controlling and turning their noses up at us. they feel the need to tell US what we should be doing with our lives or having heavily passionate opinions. if we get to talking about what others should be doing with their lives it’d get VERY ugly, so we’ve practiced keeping our business to ourselves. the business that makes us happy. growing up we didn’t have no safe spaces, nowhere.. sad right? well we’re pushing through with sarcasm and breaking generational curses BY being nothing like the people before us. the people who need to know what’s going on in our lives know? and that’s where we leave it at. practice that with your friends as well. they don’t need to know everything, just what concerns them [which isn’t everything] PEOPLE DO NOT BE HAPPY FOR YOU. so a lot of my public blogs will be things i’m okay with standing on if this lands on a screen that it resonates for. some entries will be in a private community cause even EYE still need boundaries on my platform. i’m sure a lot of my public entries will someday be read by my family & it might be some nasty realities set in for them, ask me do i care though? i don’t.
to wrap this up, i wanted to give you guys a peek of my soul. the peek of the little bit of chaos that goes on within me. i know i’m not alone, so creating a platform for women who always have a storm going on inside of them & nowhere to turn? is the purpose. i’m not perfect, i’m flawed, im accountable and very self aware. my moral compass is pretty straight forward & to the point. i tend to see things others may not because i see things from every angle. not one person is blameless in a situation. the situation may be clean-cut, he’s wrong, she’s wrong but is this a pattern in your life from being a people-pleaser? not wanting conflict so you let people do heinous things & keep them around? are you sub-consciously being abused of the good heart you have? is your intuition off? discernment weak? i could help you see that. I am a God-fearing woman, i’ve strayed from his path before & paid the price. He tends to show me things before directly telling me. he may be doing that for you but you don’t see it, i could help with that. God is using me as a vessel to help lead you to your true self. I don’t care who your God or higher power is, i’m here for all of that. As women we are written off as emotional beings who need to be told/guided by others to be the version they want us to be. Not while i’m existing. You came out of your mother alone, so nobody should be telling you the woman you need to be. YOU tell yourself the kind of woman you want to walk into being. Who is she? What does she look like? How does she dress, talk, think, feel? What brings her peace? Her Harmony Hub can assist with that. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS HERE.
‘’Her Harmony Hub was created to help women with a wobbly table, bolt it to the floor. Pull up her own chairs of every version of herself and confront them head on. No judgement. No pity. No shame. Just a woman who’s going through many phases in life and needs a helping hand. A community where she feels safe, in a world that wrote off her softness as a liability and not a strength.’’
And, there’s no limitations here. you can talk about traumas, no matter what it is [past, present, childhood, teenage years, adult years] friendship woes/traumas/breakups [past, present] relationship woes/traumas/breakups [past and present] and personal thought, feelings and mental health! this is your sanctuary to be seen and heard. if you just want to yap about your day or current state of mind?NO NEGATIVITY WILL BE ALLOWED. i’m here to create a space for women to feel supported and loved. no matter what you may share or hold back? you are a QUEEN. you will be treated as such. <3
Thank you for taking the time to read this getting a peek into who’s going to be a person you can turn to. whether it’s anonymously or by name, i’m here for you. I hope and pray you come back for future entries to continue to explore my soul and getting to know me. I pray i urge you to reach out, post on here, pick my brain 🫶🏽 & to keep up with entries coming or content in general? don’t hesitate to follow @herharmonyhub on instagram 💟🩰🎨 talk to you guys soon.
xoxo, Ange 💟
