Idiots across the universe

Incorrect quotes for The Secret Saturdays, Generator Rex, Ben 10 (of the classic continuity), RC9GN, AD:JL, and also probably shipping. (background credit to @anxiousaesthetics)

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Corvo: So...you’re a Plumber?

Rook: I am.

Corvo: You don’t look like one.

Rook: It would be rather counterproductive to my espionage if I did.

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Zak, trying to be friends with Francis: I believe in you! 

Francis: I believe in your ability to die at my hands!

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Max: Oh good, you're not busy 

Ben, brushing Rook’s fur like he’s a simple cat: Actually grandpa, I am busy.

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Kai: I told you we can be friends, but you need to get over this crush thing. 

Ben: I am over it. I'm in love with you, you'd rather be just friends with me, and I'm now perfectly okay with being in that constant pain.

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Trixie: Are we going to keep standing around here and arguing about it or are you going to help? 

Spud: I'd like to keep standing around. 

Jake: I'd like to keep arguing about it.

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Howard: Aw. I was hoping we'd be teleported under an immovable pile of rubble and debris. Trapped for weeks to be forced to resort to cannibalism just to survive.

Randy: You keep coming up with creepy disaster scenarios that always end up with you eating me, Howard. It's getting annoying

Howard: If you don't like it, then stop looking so damn tasty.

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Noah: Anyone would be glad to date me! I was 'a pleasure to have in class'!

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Ester, from a rooftop:  Good evening ladies and gentlemen of Bellwood! It's now time for part 3 of tonight's special event. That's the part where I steal all your stuff and leave you sputtering in infinite rage.

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Ben, holding up an injured Rook: You're really hurt...should I take you to a doctor or a vet?

Rook: I am about to take you to a morgue...

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Doyle: That's greatly offensive to my people.

Beeman: College dropouts?

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Francis: 10% of getting "parented" is my father telling me that he can't talk right now.

Zak: What's his other 90%? 

Francis: Oh you think he parents me 100% of the time?

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Francis: So you've come to laugh at the fallen agent. Well? Laugh, then. Laugh! 

Wadi:... 

Zak:... 

Francis: Well? Why aren't you laughing? 

Wadi, quietly: Zak? Should we be laughing? 

Zak: It's a trick. Laugh and he'll get mad... Or start crying.

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White Knight meeting Rex after trying to kill him: So... Uh... Want a beer? 

Six: Knight, he’s 10.

White Knight: Well I don't know!!

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Francis: There's something oddly poetic about killing something that bleeds blood that belonged to you. 

Francis: Hm? Oh sorry, I wasn't listening, I smacked a mosquito.

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Solomon: I don't consider myself to be a particularly ethical person, but I am fair.

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Zak: That was so hot, Francis. 

Francis: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and that I hope they get dragged through the streets. 

Zak: I'm so in love with you.

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Magister Patelliday: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.

Ben: I will politely decline.