I am truly led by love. I love that for me. No one can take that away from me.
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@hersheythecurious
I am truly led by love. I love that for me. No one can take that away from me.
You are worthy of consistency and care
Minnie Riperton, 1974
This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.
Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".
Behavior will tell you everything words can’t
It is an act of kindness. The notion that you exist in some girls' world, in her journals, her art, even if you feel like you exist nowhere else. The beauty of humanity. Or should I say artists. Creaters. We affect one another no matter how brief. We are hidden somewhere, maybe even cherished. I like to share that. I want anyone to know that the way I held them in my hands was genuine. Was filled with love. Or at least know that tenderness exists beyond the physical
Once I realized the effects humans had on me it made me just want to leave them feeling better than I found them. You might not have been treated like a gem before, but I will leave you with the experience. It will change you as it has changed me. Thankful for the gentleness I witnessed. I might not have gotten it in physicality, but I still emulated it in the mentality.
You get to choose how you affect. How you treat. How you pass on to another. I want you to feel soft and cared for. Safe. Hear and seen. And that is why I do not chain my love. I express it in whatever capacity. And I found that rooted in kindness and accountability it translates no matter the relationship label. Platonic. Romantic. Parental. There're many faces of love, to chain it is to suffocate yourself. To never know your limits. To never really live is it? Hmm. I would not be a good scientist if I did not test myself. Try my best. Daily. Take breaks and then begin again.
I want to be challenged. Intellectually and emotionally. I want to grow my capacity. Expand my understanding. I want to dance in the mind before I dance in the body.
Sometimes u think about that notion "someone will get through the walls you put up, someone will take the time and energy and patience to love your walls down" not that I am ready for that, but I have grown to be very outspoken and I'm intrigued what it is to pursue an outspoken a d head strong woman. What it looks like or wakes up in someone. Then I think about those who see me as a conquest. A challenge and how will I be able to tell the difference. What does patience truly look like, if not what I thought I was experiencing before. What does reciprocity look like? What does honor look like? Truth? I wish I had better examples of good men. Men who protect. Men who don't take advantage. Men who don't have ulterior motives. Men who think outside of the norm. Who tend. Who do. Who make shit happen. I am the most Honorable man I know. The kindest man I know. Sweetest man I know. Most adoring man I know. The nastiest man I know. I am. Do I look for a me? I have much time to answer these questions for myself. As I always do. The realest one in my corner is me. Love that for me.
For me this is also such an interesting question, because I've met such a variety of men in my life and only very few of them contributed anything to it. I've met good men, sweet men, kind men, who didn't protect. Who were running when I needed them. I met sweet men who were emotionally absent because they couldn't deal with parts of themselves. I've met charismatic men who were terrified of my authenticity. I've met men who believed they were good and kind and they weren't, and who'd get more toxic through the shame and defensiveness of their own self image not lining up with reality. I've met a hundred men who were essentially good people but their lack of accountability for their own actions made them impossible to rely on. I've met men who were so wonderful all around but their standards for themselves and others are so insanely high that shame and disappointment becomes their barrier to being loved and held fully. I've met men who are wonderful but don't let anyone try to love them because they don't feel lovable and worthy. I've met men who constantly make mistakes but they never stop learning and growing from them. I've been abandoned by good men, sweet men, kind men. I've had my stated boundaries crossed by them. And at this point, I realised that it's not about them being kind or good. It's not about the mistakes they make. It's about whether they are accountable and put in effort to make you feel safe, entirely by their own volition. It's about trying and believing in their own ability to change and grow, no matter where they are in life. Because everyone who doesn't will hurt you.
EVE'S BAYOU dir. Kasi Lemmons, 1997
Systems of Color really do just get the shit kicked out of them. Systemic racism alone is horrendously traumatizing, alongside any individual traumas that a person experiences. Then, already demonized people of color can’t talk about their demonized disorder without being treated like violent people, or WITH VIOLENCE. Advocate for systems of color. Neurodivergence of any type should not be left out of conversations surrounding racial justice.
while being deeply feeling can sometimes be painful for those of us who experience it, it's nice to be reminded that others see beauty and merit in it
Fuck a legacy am I the only person on this planet who doesn’t give a fuck if I’m never born human again??
I think about why. In a society that fails families, of course, I'd tell someone not to have a child unless they have things in place to support the cultivation of a child. Being a good parent isn't enough. That child needs multiple adults around them, loving them and emulating connection in a healthy, loving manner. I observe what worked for others and see why it didn't work for others. I will always tell someone do not have children unless you're financially, socially ant mentally equipped to support them. When you don't know, you don't know. Life just happens until you come into new awareness. Wait until 30 to really make the decisions about expanding a family. Give yourself time to grow up. Your brain has much development to do. Then decide. Hating kids, though, is wild work. They're literally products of their environments. Hate their parents. Show them kindness and give them a sliver of your love as you pass by. In the Ununited States of America's economy, family cultivation is dead.