i love you; i'm glad i exist

lane  //  they/them  //  xxv i like/reply from cartoon-clifford

[trueplainhearts]

SHANEWEEK | DAY 4: FAVORITE TRAIT

➳ BRAVERY

[shanefreak]

FLEABAG 2x04 // HEATED RIVALRY

[aslongasitsblack]

stories about the danger of making your hot wife move from the city to the suburban town you grew up in:

gone girl

heated rivalry: the long game

[ilyapasta]

Let me settle this. Neither Svetlana nor Ilya are the sensible friend. Neither one is doing well. They are losing things in the club. Debit card: gone. Passport: wet. They are putting tablets in each other’s mouths. They are winking at each other as they lead various pretty people to the bathroom. They are screaming “this is my song!!!!” Whenever some generic 2010s anthem comes on. The only thing I’ll concede is that sometimes one of them is slightly less drunk when they’re getting home and helping the other one and when it’s Ilya who is slightly less drunk his inner monologue is “this is how I prove myself as a man. I am the pinnacle of integrity. Is anyone watching me comport myself with respect and dignity as I assist this wild woman” but crucially he’s throwing up in a storm drain while Svetlana is screaming into her phone in Russian because Ilya was too busy puking to keep her from calling her ex.

Svetlana still lets him fuck her that night. No kissing tho.

[ilyapasta]

And Svetlana’s inner monologue isn’t any better in terms of a superiority complex: “Ilya is misguided. He is still ‘hooking up.’ I am becoming entangled in 13 week long situationships with stockbrokers in open relationships with spouses they previously cheated on. These people care about me. I am a romantic.”

She’s thinking this while Ilya drinks a prosecco split out of her belly button before passing out with a sigh that sounds like ‘svane.’ Somehow Ilya ends up in the dry spot on the bed and at one point she considers rolling him onto the floor.

But when they wake up at 3am absolutely wounded and dehydrated and blood pumping like cement through their hearts, Ilya does grill her a cheese. She uses the good glasses Ilya doesn’t appreciate and fills them with ice and his purple gatorade that he only shares with her. Svetlana asks him how his father is doing. Ilya says he’s fine, he’s taking care of it.

[aemelia]

airport for @hollanovbingo

On airport, Harsh Snehanshu (हर्ष स्नेहांशु) // Tristia, Osip Mandelstam // War of the Foxes, Richard Siken // The Clearing, Heather Davis // Worlds Fly Past, Alexander Blok // Lake of Little Birds, Katherine Larson // Collected Poems, Edna St. Vincent Millay // Unknown // A Poem From the Adult Daughter to the Narcissistic Mother, Katherine Fabrizio // Twilight, Louise Glük // Little Weirds, Jenny Slate // Calliope, Hilda Doolittle // Diaspora Blues, Ijeoma Umebinyuo // Tumblr post, heavensghost // Waiting for This Story to End Before I Begin Another, Jan Heller Levi // In a Dream You Saw a Way to Survive, Clementine von Radics // For M, Mikko Harvey

[perlukafarinn]

Canon divergent AU where Shane is a little more paranoid and when Hayden first comments on "Boston Lily", he decides he has to do something to break up the pattern and make it not so noticeable that he's got someone on Boston.

Not seeing Rozanov is not an option, so instead Shane picks out a few other cities to regularly go out by himself in. He'll go for a long walk, maybe sit down somewhere for a drink, and then catch a taxi back to the hotel an appropriate amount of time later. It's honestly pretty nice, unwinding by himself in this way, and now disappearing after games is not a thing specific to Boston! It's just another strange Hollander quirk!

Unfortunately, he fails to account for the guys on the team jumping on the most obvious explanation for all these disappearances, which is that Shane now has a girl in every port.

Word about this starts to spread quick, because it is so out of character for Shane, and pretty soon half the league is under the impression that he's some secret playboy.

Ilya is extremely not chill about this rumor.

[blignick]

[teaboot]

BESPOKE

[filthyjanuary]

the last game in the forum (1996) x stanley cup final game 5 (2021) x habs playoff home opener (2026)

[unbotheredmuse]

[sublunagh]

Hollanov + details (3/x) ✨️shane's socks✨️

[ahotknife]

i will never know peace.

[sheisraging]

Laufey - Mad Mad Woman, ft. Hudson Williams

[ahotknife]

shane hiring a personal stylist + an interior decorator in canon and also presumably a personal assistant a trainer a skills coach a nutritionist a housekeeper and a therapist (and also his mommy) is textual evidence that he would greatly benefit from a total power exchange lifestyle bdsm dynamic with a punishment/reward system. in this essay i will

[ahotknife]

this was initially a post about sex yes but this is also a post about helplessness this is a post about agency and initiative and this is a post about desire. and this is a post about ilya rozanov telling shane what to wear and what movies to watch and when to come and when to cry and when to take a day off because he’s pushing himself too hard. this is a post about how desperately shane needs his entourage of bossy people telling him what to eat and how to skate and what brands to endorse and when to be at the rink and what flight he’s taking and how to cope with the pressure of being himself. tell him how to live his life because he is so scared. and he trusts these people won’t let him get it wrong. and if he does get it wrong then it wasn’t his fault because all he did was obey. and if he got it wrong then they can help him get through that and he can release a statement or schedule another session or play better on the ice next time or ilya can spank him or ilya can take his orgasms away from him or ilya can just pin shane to the bed and tell him it’s okay he’s okay and he didn’t do anything wrong and everybody forgives him and shane is always so good for him he is always so good. is this anything. like we see shane giving up this control in so many ways over and over again in canon. he does not want it. it’s a relief to him to delegate these decisions. he has one place where he insists on total domination of a situation and that is whenever he’s on skates. outside of that he’s pretty sure he’s been getting it all wrong.

[ahotknife]

this’ll be me logging on when the first shirtless scene of s2 happens and we finally get to see for ourselves that hudson’s obsessive bulking regime and somewhat latent body image issues have joined forces to make shane into the beefiest stockiest most buff bulkiest most well conditioned hockey machine in the eastern conference

[chic-a-gigot]

Le Petit écho de la mode, no. 10, vol. 10, 11 mars 1888, Paris. 3. Papillons en tapisserie. Brun moyen, foncé, très foncé. Jaune très clair, clair, moyen, foncé, très foncé. Rouge moyen, foncé, très foncé. Bleu clair, moyen, foncé. Beige très clair, clair, foncé. Ville de Paris / Bibliothèque Forney

[ahotknife]

One day this kid will come to know something that causes a sensation equivalent to the separation of the earth from its axis.

Shane Hollander + David Wojnarowicz | Untitled (One Day This Kid...) | 1990

[halogen2]

I THINK LOVE IS SOMETHING / THAT HAPPENS TO OTHER PEOPLE - Michael Gray Bulla