avp presents — @hesymbolized - Tumblr Blog

welcome to the jungle. i can’t speak to games, but we do have fun. but fun doesn’t mean willy nilly chaos. no, there are some rules. i like following the rules. it makes me feel nice.

name: vesta

age: old

timezone: est

activity: i work full time, and working towards getting a store of my own as well. i'm also a part time student, and serve as cook, housekeeper, driver, and secretary for my 87 year old father. do i have free time? no. do i still want to write and interact? yep. so as long as everyone is chill with expected lag, we're good. think of it as insanely laid back. and if no one has told you today, i love you.

also-

i get enough gossip drama at work, i have zero interest in being involved with it here. that said, legit concerns will always be noted, and if appropriate, shared or added to.

additionally, i will not reply to messages or ims that shuffle the bare minimum effort together in the form of “wanna play :)” because no, i do not. not with you. begone.

finally-

i'm not remotely caught up in spite of having done a stint actually WORKING for the Mouse, but i give zero fucks about spoilers, so go right ahead with 'em. just assume my boy is out of timeline sync or something. thank.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character

-

#:: ooc :: <— out of character #//when you're trying to do something entirely different and accidentally log into stebe. I admit I kinda miss you tumbles. Kinda.#//I miss writing and people. I don't miss drama. Anyway I'm findable on insta. @vestaandpals

//sometimes I think about how upset Steve gets when he encounters theft of, or deliberate destruction of, art. And how obsessed he'd get about solving famous art heists.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character #:: headcanon :: <— pieces of a puzzle

//...do you ever just...forget that it's the 20s again, and 100 years ago, smol bb steeb was out there in the real world bein smol and precious?

#:: ooc :: <— out of character

hesymbolized

//two things. One. What the fuck is this. Two. Quick, someone quickly calculate the statistic probability that I managed to log into THIS blog by complete chance after nearly getting into a fist fight with my store manager about the capfam vs the bat fam. Cause obvs the capfam is the best.

Anyway I don't even socials much any more, but my therapy session reminded me how much I miss writing, but more importantly, how much I miss yall. I hope you're all safe, happy, and I know you're loved cause I love you.

//two things. One. What the fuck is this. Two. Quick, someone quickly calculate the statistic probability that I managed to log into THIS blog by complete chance after nearly getting into a fist fight with my store manager about the capfam vs the bat fam. Cause obvs the capfam is the best.

Anyway I don't even socials much any more, but my therapy session reminded me how much I miss writing, but more importantly, how much I miss yall. I hope you're all safe, happy, and I know you're loved cause I love you.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character

hesymbolized

Disco - vesta#9803

Insta - vestaandpals

Email - [email protected]

Fbook / text / bondage dot com / etc - ask via email

Support my brand. Stay cool, kids. Don't do anything I would.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character #queue and shit

hesymbolized

Disco - vesta#9803

Insta - vestaandpals

Email - [email protected]

Fbook / text / bondage dot com / etc - ask via email

Support my brand. Stay cool, kids. Don't do anything I would.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character #queue and shit

hesymbolized

Disco - vesta#9803

Insta - vestaandpals

Email - [email protected]

Fbook / text / bondage dot com / etc - ask via email

Support my brand. Stay cool, kids. Don't do anything I would.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character #queued and shit

Disco - vesta#9803

Insta - vestaandpals

Email - [email protected]

Fbook / text / bondage dot com / etc - ask via email

Support my brand. Stay cool, kids. Don't do anything I would.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character #:: crack :: <— grandpa says #//coming back here? probs not.#//missing yall? maybe so.#//its been real. im not sure its been fun consistently. so #//has it been real fun?#//...cut me some slack. ive LITERALLY been working 55-60 hour work weeks almost since i got back from surgery.

hesymbolized

Well, at least Tumblr is still blue.

hesymbolized

...i meant to be funny when i posted that, but upon rereading and reflection, it's fucking tragic. this can not be my one unchanging, timeless, eternal touchstone. i refuse.

in other news, my face is under there ⬇️

and in more news- i now bake bread by hand, as well as soft pretzels and argentine medialunas (sweet croissants). I know, im amazing, wicked smart and totally hot. but thanks for noticing!!!

#:: ooc :: <— out of character

Well, at least Tumblr is still blue.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character

Me, before my medical leave: two jobs, 60 hour work weeks, swearing never again.

Me, after my medical leave: one job, two stores, three departments, 60-70 hour work weeks, no light on the horizon, resigned.

Say a prayer for the sweet innocent naivete of my youth. Free time is as much an illusion as time is in general. Remember my name. Remember my story.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character #//yes. i am that extra. shut up.#//bruh. hold on.#weight tw #weight loss tw #weightloss tw #//since sept 2019 i've lost 82lbs.#diet tw #trauma tw #ptsd tw #//when people ask how #//i ask them not to ask. how do you put a positive spin on the bulk of your #//weight loss being one of many negative effects of a PTSD psychological break?#//you can't.

Hey, remember when Esme Bianco/Ros of Winter Town, the redheaded sex worker from the town outside of Winterfell in Game of Thrones- asked if maybe she could get a few scenes where she was fully dressed? Maybe a bit of dignity?

But instead of that boring stuff, they had her BRUTALLY tortured and killed. Not just killed, HUMILIATINGLY killed. Pointedly left physically exposed, blatant use of a penetrating object, -a crossbow bolt through her breast. The implication that Ros would have been cut down and thrown out with the trash, no one even speaking her name. No years shed, no mention made anywhere. One beautiful, intelligent, shockingly educated AND clever woman, discarded like trash.

I think about that often. More lately, actually, as Esme stood up, saying no, I will not be a victim. It's a kind of bravery I'm struggling along to get to, myself. And just like Wendy Case (Sons of Anarchy) is a fictional, flawed character fighting tooth and nail to get clean, I understand her desperation, I remember believing, as us addicts often do, endlessly feeling the need to prove ourselves worthy in the eyes of people we respect, like getting that approval had some kind of value, or guarantee a place at the table of family and friends that our addiction had lost us. In the case of Ros and Esme herself, she's spoken out, not loudly, but with purpose, which is something I still can't do, nearly seven years since I managed to muster the fragile strength of my own to escape my own nightmare of abuse.

Anyway. It helps heal my heart to see a woman I admire so much being actively the change needed in this world.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character #domestic violence tw #addiction tw #death tw #//if this is the hill i die on- picking the smallest second of a scene or whatnot and #//building a world around it- ill die happy. this kind of thing is my happy fandom place.

...people loudly correct narrators and "talking head" experts when watching history documentaries, right?

Because I do. And so does Steve.

#:: headcanon :: <— pieces of a puzzle #//im a disaster- personification of a burned out garbage can fire.

hesymbolized

do you think if i sent like, a letter every single day to disney, asking for deke shaw to please pop up in the mcu randomly, they’d eventually get so annoyed they’d do it just to shut me up? because this seems like a doable plan to me.

#:: ooc :: <— out of character #//...shopping list: bulk boxes of envelopes and stamps #//shit tons of ink and printer paper. mass print address label #//prep two months worth. build a habit of swinging one parking lot entrance sooner to hit the #//post office box on my way to work.#//listen. its no crazier than sending sweetly romantic/smutty letters to soldiers in the front lines #//to take their minds off the noxious ever present stench of fired weapons and death #//and the knowledge that if you continue existing in your trench- constantly filled with ground water #//there will come a time when the only thing keeping your flesh on your feet is your boots #//amd they're getting eaten away by water and rotting as well.#//i should mention that I'm the MOST fun to have at a dinner party.#war tw #weapons tw #military tw #human beings tw

themeandvariation

avp est 1997 | forever expanding, exploring, creating and recreating.. original works, fandom interpretations, active collaborations. @themeandvariation

#:: self promo :: <— self promotion as self indulgence

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