Alluring Albino

Emet/not actually albino/or alluring/quinoa and chocolate lover

[12cd12c-deactivated20220922]

[disimba]

[automatic-caution-door]

[ladysnowofmpls]

ok this is really sweet

[waitwhatdidtheysay]

[captions]

Girl: “You glue them on.”

Dude 1: [very confused] “Why would you do that? I don’t glue mine on.”

Dude 2: [also confused] “Yeah, what the fuck?”

Girl: “Have you never heard of gluing them on?”

Dude 2: [incredulous] “No!”

Girl: “Watch this.” [she removes her eyelash]

Dude 1: [slightly panicked] “No, I- STOP.” 

Dude 2: [shocked gasp] [pause] [concerned] “Do you still have eyelashes?”

Girl: [laughs]

[sugarndgahwa-deactivated2016030]

[excima]

what it eat

[pettycentral]

[ketamie]

whatever. *transcends*

[akuyama]

I wanna be rich just so I can buy my friends the presents they deserve

[mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours]

[yourfavoritewerewolf]

who would win? matilda or eleven

[annehairball]

they’d become best friends

[yourfavoritewerewolf]

you know what youre absolutely right

[princessrhcenyra]

[just-shower-thoughts]

I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

[advanced-procrastination]

Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed

[themaddogofshimano-deactivated2]

If I recall, they did used to be the corresponding months.  It was just when Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Augustus came into power, the months July(Julius) and August(Augustus) were added, thus throwing off the numbering of the calender.

[gentlemanbones]

Good news, though: whoever fucked it up did in fact get stabbed.

[square-enix]

is anyone else just going through life like “yeah i just gotta get past this last difficult week and then it’s smooth sailing from there!” but like… every week

[worm]

why did we stop building castles. i feel like humanity might live to regret that

[iskwekan]

customer service worker: *apologizes for something very minor and inconsequential*

me, in tears: you’ve done nothing wrong, ever, in your life

[d0nn0]

cattink:

every time i say something witty: please don’t think i’m flirting. i just want to establish myself as the funniest one here.

[onlytwitterpics]

[humorblr]