"The best way out is always through."

~Robert Frost

[heyitskae]

Sometimes you just need someone to help wait out the storm. If you are ever in a crisis and need some support, text HELLO to 741741. Even in the darkest of times, have hope and know that there are people wanting to support you through your hardship. #crisistextline #twloha

[heyitskae]

There isn't an emoji out there to describe how I felt in this moment. If you want to talk about real-life heroes, this man is it. Thank you, @twloha, for all the hope you inspire in others. @jamietworkowski It was an honor to meet you and thank you in person ❤️ 📷: @missjmeeann thank you for our #kaemeeadventures (at Melbourne, Florida)

[heyitskae]

First Halloween with my CNS family and it was something else 😝❤️ #mariokart

[heyitskae]

#ikeptliving for weekends like this; nights with my favorites, celebrations of new chapters in our lives, and quality family time. #nspw16 is coming to a close, but not a day goes by that I don't think of loved ones we've lost. I'll keep living for them, but also for myself ❤ And I hope that YOU will keep living for all the beautiful and amazing moments that have yet to happen. Hope is real. #twloha

[heyitskae]

My favorites and Maroon 5 ❤️❤️❤️ (at Amway Center)

[heyitskae]

Six years since we said our goodbyes. 💙

[heyitskae]

Happy Birthday, Krystina! Hope you're eating in weight in ice cream in heaven. Love you, baby sister 💙👼🏻

[heyitskae]

Countless hours studying, a few dozen panic attacks, an AHIMA convention, new jobs, 160 internship hours, and a trip-free walk across a stage. What a journey it has been ❤️🎓 #ucfalumni

[heyitskae]

I am disappointed that I don't have as many photos of this beauty as I thought I did, but this was a really fun night so it'll have to do 😝 Happy happy birthday to my dear sister from another mister! I love you so much! And I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I wish you only the best on this new chapter of your life and for your growing family. Love your little one already! Hope your day was absolutely amazing and we need to brunch with some mocktails when you get home 😘

[heyitskae]

Happy Mother's day to all the wonderful women out there! So thankful for all of the amazing mother figures in my life ❤️

[heyitskae]

My favorite set of cheeks 💙 #nationalsiblingday

[heyitskae]

Last night was many things, but above all, it was a reminder of hope. The messages and stories @twloha spreads are just as important to me today, as it was when I was 13. @jamietworkowski, Renee and the artists last night are living, breathing examples of recovery and self-care. I am so grateful to have experienced #twloha10 and I can't thank my Abby enough 💙 (at House of Blues Orlando)

[alexandra-erin]

maybe i'm missing something, but why wouldn't you listen to a doctor's opinion of whether you're in pain or fatigue?

Okay, I’ve thought about this question for most of a day, because the obvious answer is “….why would I?”, but it’s clearly not obvious to you.

Now, I know exactly what you’re thinking. They’re a doctor. They’re a professional you’ve gone to for help. And pain and fatigue are, like, medical things, right? Going to a doctor about medical stuff and then saying “LOL NOPE” to what the doctor says is like hiring a plumber and then arguing about how to fix your sink, right? If you’re so smart, why’d you call the plumber over?

Okay.

But now imagine your basement is flooding and you call the plumber. While on the phone, the plumber asks you what the problem is and you say that there’s a pipe in your basement that’s burst and it’s now flooded.

And the plumber—still on the phone—says “LOL NOPE.”

And you say, “Excuse me?”

The plumber says, “Look, a flooded basement is a really severe problem, okay? Usually, these calls, they’re a clogged toilet or a leaky u-bend under the sink. Trust me, this is better. Those are a lot cheaper to fix.”

And you say, “I’m sure they are, but I’m telling you, my basement is flooded. I’m looking down the stairs and I can see the water.”

“I’m just saying, there are other things it could be. It won’t hurt anything to eliminate them first,” the plumber says.

And you say, “But I need my basement fixed! Look, I can’t go down in my basement and do laundry right now, and I have important keepsakes down there in boxes… some of them are already ruined, but maybe I can salvage some if we can just fix the problem.”

“Well, then it will be in your interest for me to check your toilets and your u-bends,” the plumber says.

“The problem is not in my toilets or my sinks,” you say. “I am looking at the problem. I called you because my basement is flooded, and I need you to help me fix that.”

And then… now, I’m not assuming you’re female, but I just want to emphasize that this is a starkly though not exclusively gendered phenomenon, so if you’re not female then imagine you are.

“MA’AM,” the plumber says, in a way you recognize. It’s the voice of putting you in your place, the voice of unearned authority, and with this voice, this word, ma’am, is not a title of respect, it’s a reminder and a command. “MA’AM, if you’ll just calm down. I’m sure what you’re experiencing seems terrible to you, but the truth is, it’s probably not as bad as it looks from where you’re standing. And that’s a good thing! Trust me, have been a plumber for 27 years. Now, when can I come over to check your u-bends?”

“It’s not my u-bends!” you say.

“Ma’am, if you don’t want to be helped, I’ll start to think you’re calling for attention.”

You see?

(Now for bonus points, imagine the plumber refuses to help you until you lose a statistically improbable amount of weight just to rule out that this might be flooding your basement, or is acting on the subconscious but deeply entrenched idea that people with your skin color are less susceptible to flooding and in less need of help, or believes that as a feeeemale you’re more likely to be suffering from emotional distress than a physical problem and suggests the preferable course of action would be for you to take a nap every time the supposed flooding in your basement bothers you.)

As I said in that post, pain and fatigue — like dysphoria — are qualitative experiences. This means they happen in your head and they cannot be directly observed or measured by anyone else (which would make them quantitative phenomena). 

The doctor talking to you about dysphoria —or pain or fatigue — is not a plumber in your house, they are a plumber on the phone. The only input they receive about the problem is your account of it. 

And if they’re not willing to listen to what you say and aren’t willing to take you at your word, then all the expertise and experience in the world doesn’t matter. You can have the most powerful calculator in the world but if you type the wrong numbers into it it will still give the wrong answers. Someone can be the best doctor in the world but if they’re ignoring the information they’re not going to give you the right answer.

[spooniestrong]

Thx, @clinicallydepressedpug!

[vaspider]

This is so good. I’d add, too, that in my experience, sometimes you are talking to the plumber because, well, your basement is full of water! OBVIOUSLY it’s your plumbing, right? I mean, something in your plumbing has to have ruptured for that to be like that, right?

… except what’s actually happened is that you have a secret aquifer off to one side of your basement, and the wall has exploded inward, and so a thing that no one is even looking at is causing the problem. Or maybe your sump pump failed and your cellar door is leaking water, so it’s a dead sump pump. 

But since you’re talking to a plumber, they’re like ‘WELP, I RAN ALL THE TESTS, THE PIPES ARE ALL FINE’ but your basement is still full of water and you’re like ???? But it’s not fine???? and they’re like I hope you don’t want any help with how uncomfortable it is having a basement full of water! Because you are clearly just doing this so that I will give you assistance with the symptoms here. 

So you can be telling the truth, but because a plumber is only focused on the plumbing, and the problem is not at all with the plumbing but with some other system within your house, they will miss the problem entirely, aka ‘when you have a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.’

[heyitskae]

This is absolutely brilliant.

[heyitskae]

'twas a good year ❤️ #2015bestnine

[heyitskae]

Successful girls night in with @missjmeeann and @joycejuly. ❤️❤️❤️ #realtalk #forrealthough

[heyitskae]

'twas a good day to go exploring in ATL with my favorite ❤️ #kaemeeadventures

[heyitskae]

Walking the streets of Providence and Boston was fun, but this was the highlight of our trip ❤️ Thankful for being able to have witness this milestone for our dear Marly 😘 (at Pawtucket, Rhode Island)