Audrey Hernandez

Professional questioner of life choices. Don't commit crimes where I can see you. Rp blog. Not affiliated with F. Raisa. 

[heyofficerhernandez]

"HOW DOES THIS MAN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON AT MY JOB BEFORE I DO???"

[kenta-hirano]

heyofficerhernandez​:

“Wooooow, my two am call last night was two drunk dudes trying to start a raccoon fighting ring. Was it a full moon or something?”

“I just want to know where they got the raccoons from. Well… on second thought maybe I don’t want to know. Probably best if they consider getting their rabies shots though. Just for good measure. “

[heyofficerhernandez]

"Best guess? The pits of hell. That is where that whole scene belonged. Fun fact: I did not need a vaccine because Whacky Jack Flannerty bit me last time I arrested him. Like full chomp. The raccoons were nicer."

[heyofficerhernandez]

"Wooooow, my two am call last night was two drunk dudes trying to start a raccoon fighting ring. Was it a full moon or something?"

[teddy-gordon]

heyofficerhernandez​:

“You might wanna write it on a baseball bat and take it to his minivan if you want to get the point across.”

“Who says I haven’t already?  I’m good enough I could get away with it.”

[heyofficerhernandez]

"It would be pretty embarrassing if you couldn't given what we do for a living. No one has a better blueprint for 'how not to commit crimes' than we do."

[teddy-gordon]

heyofficerhernandez​:

“I hate that this is accurate but pleeeease do not encourage him.”

“Oh don’t worry, it was just an observation.  Also, a chance to remind him that we do actually know how to do our jobs.”

[heyofficerhernandez]

"You might wanna write it on a baseball bat and take it to his minivan if you want to get the point across."

[teddy-gordon]

“A contract saying you’re not responsible for bail is actually a really smart business decision on the Harris Report’s account.  I’ve arrested a lot of their associates.”

[heyofficerhernandez]

"I hate that this is accurate but pleeeease do not encourage him."

[heyofficerhernandez]

"The Harris report forgot to mention that his employee broke some windows and then tried to ninja roll away from the officer whose car she broke into. Maybe save your bail money for someone with two brain cells to rub together."