this series is not meant to diagnose, label, or define anyone. astrology does not cause addiction. it reflects nervous system patterns, coping styles, emotional vulnerabilities, and survival strategies. these placements do not mean someone will struggle with substance use or compulsive behaviors. they describe how stress, pain, and emotional overload may be processed when support, safety, or regulation are missing.
addiction is not a moral failure. it is not a lack of willpower. it is a nervous system response to overwhelm, trauma, unmet needs, and the absence of safe emotional containment.
this content is meant for reflection, self-awareness, and compassion, not judgment. if anything in this resonates, it does not mean you are broken. it means your system has been doing the best it can with what it was given.
this is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, or professional treatment. if you are struggling, you deserve real support. healing is possible, and you do not have to do it alone.
â ARIES RISING | 12TH: PISCES | 8TH: SCORPIO â
12TH | PISCES
your nervous system is porous in a way most people never notice. you absorb moods, unspoken tension, grief, and collective emotional noise without realizing it. you feel everything, but rarely know where it came from, so your body stays in a constant state of emotional static. when stress builds, your system does not fight, it dissolves. escape becomes instinctual. you reach for anything that softens reality and blurs the edges: smoking before eating, before sleeping, before leaving the house. drinking alone to quiet your thoughts. zoning out with music, videos, or fantasy until hours disappear. sleeping through the day because being awake feels too sharp. psychedelics, dissociatives, and substances that alter perception feel comforting because they finally lower the volume of the world. you may struggle with dissociation, emotional leakage, people pleasing, and losing yourself in other peopleâs pain. you donât feel separate from what hurts you. addiction here is not about pleasure or thrill, it is about anesthesia for a nervous system that was never taught how to feel safely while awake and present in its own body.
8TH | SCORPIO
your pain does not fade, it intensifies. you do not just feel, you spiral. emotions become consuming, magnetic, and obsessive, pulling you toward extremes. power struggles, trauma bonds, jealousy, emotional dependency, and control dynamics live here. you may chase substances and experiences that make you feel powerful, untouchable, or numb: stimulants to feel dominant, opiates to disappear, nicotine to regulate anxiety, reckless sex to feel wanted, gambling to feel alive, emotionally volatile relationships to feel something real. there can be cycles of secrecy, emotional manipulation, self-sabotage, or staying in destructive situations because intensity feels like truth. you may unconsciously equate suffering with depth and chaos with authenticity. addiction here is not escape, it is domination. an attempt to master pain, to control it, to prove you can survive it. healing begins when you allow vulnerability instead of power, and let pain move through you without turning it into a battleground.
12TH | ARIES
your nervous system holds rage it never learned how to release. not explosive anger, but a low, constant pressure that lives in your chest, shoulders, and jaw. you were taught to push through, stay productive, stay âuseful,â and keep moving instead of admitting you are tired, hurt, or overwhelmed. rest feels unsafe because stillness makes you aware of how much anger and grief youâve been carrying. when stress builds, you do not collapse, you burn. you move faster, react sharper, and reach for anything that hits quickly. this can look like chain-smoking, vaping nonstop, energy drinks on an empty stomach, pre-workout as a mood stabilizer, mixing alcohol with caffeine, scrolling until 3am because your mind will not slow down, driving too fast when upset, snapping at people then disappearing out of shame. substances that activate and distract feel regulating: nicotine, alcohol, stimulants, even anger itself. you use momentum to outrun emotion. addiction here becomes a pressure valve for a system that was never shown how to pause without fear of what might surface.
8TH | SAGITTARIUS
your shadow hides inside excess and self-justification. you chase escape through âfreedomâ behaviors that look exciting on the outside but feel hollow afterward. binge drinking, partying until sunrise, impulsive trips you cannot afford, reckless sex, thrill-seeking, gambling, crypto obsession, spiritual bypassing, spending money you do not have just to feel alive again. you may call it adventure, growth, or experience, but underneath is avoidance of emotional weight and vulnerability. you fear being tied down to your own pain. sobriety can feel like a cage because you associate depth with heaviness and loss of freedom. you crave expansion because stillness feels like suffocation. addiction here disguises itself as living fully, but it is really running from the parts of you that want grounding, honesty, and emotional presence. true freedom begins when you learn that you do not have to escape yourself to feel alive.
12TH | TAURUS
your body absorbs stress like sediment. it settles into your muscles, your stomach, your chest, until you feel heavy, tired, and slow without knowing why. you may wake up already exhausted, even on days where nothing âbadâ has happened, because your nervous system is holding years of unprocessed tension. when life feels unpredictable, your instinct is not to react or express, it is to sedate and stabilize. comfort becomes survival. you may smoke before eating, before sleeping, before leaving the house, telling yourself it helps you ârelax.â you binge sugar late at night, order food you cannot afford, snack even when you are full, or eat until you feel physically weighed down because it creates a sense of containment. shopping becomes emotional regulation, even if guilt follows. staying in bed watching the same shows on repeat feels safer than facing the world. substances that slow you down feel like medicine: cannabis, alcohol, sedatives, sleeping pills, melatonin overdoses, heavy food. addiction here is a self-soothing trance for a nervous system that equates safety with numbness, routine, and physical stillness.
8TH | CAPRICORN
your shadow survives through control and self-denial. you learned early that collapsing was not an option, so you replaced feeling with functioning. your identity becomes built around responsibility, endurance, and being the one who holds everything together. when pain surfaces, you do not break down, you tighten up. work becomes a drug. you overwork, micromanage, obsess over money, schedules, performance, your body, and your output. caffeine replaces rest. adderall replaces boundaries. restrictive eating becomes âdiscipline.â you push through illness, burnout, and emotional exhaustion and call it strength. vulnerability feels like failure, and slowing down feels unsafe because it forces you to feel what youâve buried for years. addiction here is not about chaos or escape. it is about proving you can survive anything, even if it slowly costs you your body, your softness, and your sense of self.
â CANCER RISING | 12TH: GEMINI | 8TH: AQUARIUS â
12TH | GEMINI
your nervous system never truly turns off. your mind runs on a constant low-grade static that youâve lived with for so long it feels normal. thoughts overlap, conversations replay, imaginary arguments loop, what-ifs stack on top of each other until your body feels wired and exhausted at the same time. you may struggle to feel present because your attention is always split. when stress builds, you do not drop into your body, you escape into your head. mental stimulation becomes your drug of choice. doomscrolling turns into hours lost, tabs stay open for days, playlists and podcasts run in the background just to avoid silence. you fall asleep with videos playing because being alone with your thoughts feels unbearable. substances and behaviors that stimulate or distract feel regulating at first: nicotine, caffeine, adderall, microdosing, energy drinks, binge watching, compulsive texting, late night internet spirals, oversharing in messages you later regret. you may tell yourself you are âprocessingâ or âstaying informed,â but it is avoidance through overstimulation. silence feels unsafe because it brings you face to face with grief, loneliness, and emotional fatigue you never learned how to sit with.
8TH | AQUARIUS
your pain hides behind detachment and intellectualization. when emotions become overwhelming, you dissociate instead of collapse. you become distant, ironic, hyper-rational, or âabove it all.â connection can feel threatening because it exposes how much you actually need people. the shadow expresses through escapism that separates you from your body and from intimacy. this can look like abusing stimulants, psychedelics, dissociatives, tech addiction, gaming, virtual worlds, online personas, emotional affairs, or obsessing over future plans to avoid the present. you may convince yourself you are independent, different, or too evolved for emotional messiness. but underneath is a deep fear of vulnerability and loss of control. addiction here is not about pleasure, it is about distance. you numb through ideas, substances, and systems that make you feel separate from your pain. healing begins when you allow yourself to be human instead of untouchable.
â LEO RISING | 12TH: CANCER | 8TH: PISCES â
12TH | CANCER
your nervous system learned early that love is inconsistent and conditional. care came and went, safety felt temporary, and emotional closeness was never guaranteed. you carry emotional memory in your body like a bruise that never fully heals. you instinctively scan rooms for other peopleâs moods and needs, placing yourself in the role of emotional caretaker without being asked. you hold grief, fear, and longing for everyone else while quietly neglecting your own. when stress builds, you do not explode, you withdraw. you retreat inward and self-soothe through emotional numbing and comfort loops: drinking alone at night, smoking to fall asleep, overeating when you feel rejected, rewatching childhood shows, scrolling old photos, fantasizing about the past, isolating instead of speaking. substances that soften emotions feel safe: alcohol, weed, sedatives, sugar, sleep aids. you disappear into nostalgia and caretaking roles to avoid the pain of the present. addiction here is a grief response to unmet emotional needs and the belief that your feelings are too much to be held.
8TH | PISCES
your shadow seeks total escape. pain feels too vast and overwhelming to contain, so you dissolve instead of confront. you may romanticize suffering, chaos, or brokenness as if they give your life meaning or depth. this can show up as binge drinking, mixing substances, chasing emotional intensity, spiritual bypassing, or staying in unhealthy relationships because the pain feels familiar and strangely comforting. you may lose yourself in fantasy, music, drugs, savior roles, or toxic attachments that mirror old wounds. boundaries blur easily, and you absorb other peopleâs darkness as if it belongs to you. addiction here is not about pleasure, it is about disappearing completely. you crave silence from the world and from yourself. when unhealed, this placement seeks annihilation instead of transformation, until you learn that release does not require self-erasure, only compassion and emotional containment.
â VIRGO RISING | 12TH: LEO | 8TH: ARIES â
12TH | LEO
your nervous system carries a deep, quiet wound around visibility. you learned early that being praised, noticed, or celebrated was conditional. love came when you were useful, competent, or self-sacrificing, not when you simply existed. over time, you learned to shrink your desire to be seen and replaced it with productivity, humility, and relentless self-criticism. you tell yourself you donât need attention, yet your body aches for it in private. when stress builds, the ache is not just exhaustion, it is invisibility. you feel unseen even when you are doing everything right. this is where numbing behaviors creep in quietly. binge eating late at night while telling yourself youâve âearned it.â drinking alone while scrolling through other peopleâs lives and imagining a version of yourself that feels admired and chosen. impulse shopping for things you do not need because it briefly makes you feel worthy. weed or alcohol to dull the resentment of always being the responsible one. you may fantasize about being recognized while publicly dismissing the idea that you want it. addiction here is about silencing the pain of feeling overlooked while convincing yourself you are above needing validation.
8TH | ARIES
your shadow is fast, impulsive, and destructive when overwhelmed. when emotions finally break through your controlled exterior, they do not trickle out, they erupt. you go from composed to reckless in moments. the pressure that builds inside you demands release, and when it comes, it is sudden and intense. this can look like binge drinking after holding it together too long, impulsive sexual encounters, picking fights just to feel something move, rage quitting jobs, driving too fast when you are angry, pushing your body past its limits, stimulant abuse to feel powerful again, or self-harm behaviors that momentarily restore a sense of control. you donât want chaos, but your system equates intensity with relief. stillness feels unbearable because it forces you to sit with emotions you were never taught how to hold safely. addiction here is not about pleasure or escape. it is about immediate release from internal pressure and reclaiming a sense of power when you feel emotionally trapped.
â LIBRA RISING | 12TH: VIRGO | 8TH: TAURUS â
12TH | VIRGO
your nervous system is built around hyper-vigilance. you learned that being good, useful, efficient, and correct was how you stayed safe and avoided rejection or conflict. mistakes feel dangerous. rest feels undeserved. your inner world is loud with self-criticism, mental checklists, replayed conversations, and a constant sense that you are failing in ways you cannot fully name. you monitor yourself the way someone else once did. when stress builds, you do not collapse, you obsess. your coping turns into control rituals: over-cleaning, organizing to the point of exhaustion, body checking, calorie tracking, restrictive eating followed by binge cycles, compulsive productivity, doom-scrolling for âfixes,â caffeine abuse to stay sharp, supplements stacked like armor, prescription misuse to feel functional. you may secretly rely on stimulants, nicotine, energy drinks, or adderall to silence the fear that you are falling behind. addiction here is disguised as self-improvement. it is a way to avoid sitting with the belief that you are never enough unless you are constantly correcting yourself.
8TH | TAURUS
your shadow clings to stability even when it becomes suffocating. you fear loss, abandonment, and financial or emotional insecurity, so you hold on long past the point of health. you may stay in stagnant relationships, tolerate emotional neglect, or accept less than you deserve because the unknown feels more terrifying than the pain you already know. this can show up as hoarding money or possessions, binge eating for comfort, drinking to soften anxiety, using weed to stay emotionally grounded while avoiding necessary change, or numbing through physical pleasure and routine. you tie safety to consistency, material security, and familiar comforts, even when they quietly trap you. indulgence becomes anesthesia. addiction here is not about thrill or escape, it is about refusing to let go. healing begins when you trust that safety does not have to mean staying stuck, and that change does not have to equal loss.
â SCORPIO RISING | 12TH: LIBRA | 8TH: GEMINI â
12TH | LIBRA
your nervous system is wired around relational tension and emotional equilibrium. you learned early that peace had to be maintained, even if it meant erasing parts of yourself. you scan constantly for imbalance, reading tone shifts, micro-expressions, and subtle changes in energy before anyone else notices them. you anticipate needs, soften edges, and edit yourself to avoid conflict or rejection. anger feels dangerous, so you swallow it. grief feels inconvenient, so you repackage it into politeness. when stress builds, you do not rage or collapse, you dissociate politely. this is where quiet vices slip in. drinking socially even when you donât want to, just to feel normal and accepted. smoking before interactions to calm your nerves. scrolling endlessly through other peopleâs relationships, romanticizing unavailable partners, replaying old connections that never truly met you. overindulging in beauty, shopping, or fantasy versions of connection because they feel safer than real intimacy. substances that blur emotional edges feel comforting: alcohol, weed, anti-anxiety medication, sleeping pills. addiction here is about avoiding relational discomfort and preserving the illusion of harmony, even while your inner world quietly fractures from unmet needs.
8TH | GEMINI
your shadow is mental compulsion and nervous overstimulation. your mind does not rest, it loops. thoughts multiply, stories branch, and anxiety feeds on constant information. when emotions become intense, you analyze, narrate, or joke instead of feeling. this can turn into addictive patterns around stimulation and distraction: nicotine, stimulants, caffeine, adderall misuse, constant texting, doomscrolling, gossip, obsessively researching worst-case scenarios. you may talk about pain endlessly without ever truly processing it. silence feels threatening because it allows buried emotions to surface. there can be secret habits around late-night scrolling, substance stacking, or bouncing between highs and crashes just to feel mentally alive. addiction here is not about pleasure or escape. it is about avoiding stillness. healing begins when you allow yourself to feel without narrating, explaining, or drowning your inner world in noise.
â SAGITTARIUS RISING | 12TH: SCORPIO | 8TH: CANCER â
12TH | SCORPIO
your nervous system holds intensity like a locked vault. you learned early that showing weakness, fear, or emotional need was unsafe, so you internalized pain instead of expressing it. emotions do not move through you lightly, they burrow and linger. resentment, jealousy, grief, sexual shame, and anger you were never allowed to show get stored in the body, tightening your chest, stomach, and jaw. you may appear calm or detached on the surface, but inside there is a constant undercurrent of emotional pressure. when stress builds, you do not seek comfort, you seek control over the pain. this is where hidden addictions form. secret drinking. smoking alone to feel something sharp and grounding. pornography, compulsive sexual fantasies, or obsessive attachments to people who trigger emotional extremes. substances that both intensify and anesthetize feel seductive: alcohol binges, nicotine chains, weed used to drop into dissociation, experimenting with substances that promise catharsis or emotional depth. you may be drawn to darkness because it feels honest. addiction here is about privately managing intensity so no one sees how much you are truly carrying.
8TH | CANCER
your shadow is emotional dependency disguised as loyalty and caretaking. you crave safety, attachment, and reassurance, but often seek it in ways that keep you emotionally trapped. you may use substances or behaviors to recreate the feeling of being held: comfort eating until you feel numb, drinking to feel emotionally open, smoking to soften abandonment fear, staying in emotionally enmeshed or codependent relationships long after they have become unhealthy. your moods strongly dictate your habits. when you feel unloved, rejected, or unsafe, you soothe immediately. there can be cycles of giving everything to others, neglecting yourself, then collapsing into binge behaviors when resentment builds. addiction here is not about thrill or rebellion. it is about recreating emotional safety externally because you never learned how to generate it internally. healing begins when you learn that comfort does not require self-erasure or emotional merging.
â CAPRICORN RISING | 12TH: SAGITTARIUS | 8TH: LEO â
12TH | SAGITTARIUS
your unconscious runs on excess as a coping mechanism. when life feels confining, controlled, or heavy with responsibility, your nervous system looks for expansion at any cost. you carry a quiet restlessness that never fully shuts off, a sense that if you slow down you will feel trapped inside expectations that are too heavy to hold. you do not melt down quietly, you flee internally. this shows up as escapism masked as âfreedom,â âgrowth,â or âself-discovery.â binge drinking to feel loose enough to laugh again. mixing substances socially because sobriety feels too small, too serious, too honest. impulsive trips you cannot afford, chasing new environments to avoid sitting with yourself. spiritual bypassing through psychedelics, astrology, philosophy, or constant meaning-seeking to escape emotional pain. you may overconsume media, podcasts, or ideas late into the night, chasing insight instead of rest. weed to make boredom tolerable. alcohol to make connection feel effortless. the addiction pattern here is not about numbness, it is about avoiding containment. stillness feels like suffocation, so you keep moving mentally or chemically. your shadow believes that if you stop expanding, you will collapse under the weight of your own expectations.
8TH | LEO
your shadow craves power, validation, and emotional intensity when you feel unseen. beneath your composed exterior lives a hunger to matter deeply to someone, to be chosen, desired, and admired without having to prove your worth. when that need is not met, compulsive behaviors surface. attention becomes a drug. this can look like dramatic relationship cycles, addictive sexual dynamics, flirting as emotional self-medication, chasing desire to feel alive again. substances that amplify confidence and charisma feel tempting: alcohol to feel magnetic, stimulants to feel important, risky behaviors to feel special and noticed. there can be a pattern of emotional theatrics followed by shame, withdrawal, and self-judgment. you may oscillate between extreme self-control and indulgence, pride and collapse. addiction here is about reclaiming a sense of importance when you secretly fear you are only valued for what you produce. healing begins when your worth is no longer tied to performance, attention, or emotional intensity.
12TH | CAPRICORN
your unconscious learned that rest is unsafe. somewhere early on, stillness became associated with guilt, failure, or falling behind. your nervous system stays tense even when nothing is wrong, as if you are always bracing for the next responsibility or consequence. you feel safest when you are useful, needed, or carrying weight for others. when stress builds, you do not fall apart outwardly, you harden inwardly. this is where quiet, socially acceptable addictions take root. overworking to the point of dissociation. staying busy so you never have to feel. using caffeine all day and alcohol or weed at night just to regulate the swing between hyperfunctioning and collapse. taking on responsibilities that are not yours because usefulness feels like survival. checking emails late at night, planning tomorrow before today is even finished. numbing exhaustion with sleep aids, melatonin, or zoning out instead of true rest. you may pride yourself on discipline while secretly resenting how much you carry alone. addiction here is not chaos, it is self-erasure through endurance. the shadow believes that if you stop holding everything together, everything will fall apart, including you.
8TH | VIRGO
your shadow manifests through obsession, control, and self-punishment. when emotional intensity surfaces, you try to fix it instead of feel it. this becomes compulsive. tracking, restricting, micromanaging your body, your habits, your intake. disordered eating patterns masked as âhealthâ or âdiscipline.â stimulant use to stay sharp, productive, useful. abusing prescriptions in a way that looks responsible but functions as emotional avoidance. compulsive cleaning, organizing, or endless self-improvement spirals to avoid sitting with grief, anger, or desire. anxiety itself becomes addictive because it gives you something to manage. you may shame yourself for cravings while secretly relying on them to feel in control. addiction here is not indulgence, it is perfection as a coping mechanism. healing begins when you allow mess, emotion, and imperfection without immediately trying to correct them. control is not safety. presence is.
â PISCES RISING | 12TH: AQUARIUS | 8TH: LIBRA â
12TH | AQUARIUS
your nervous system lives slightly ahead of your body. your mind rarely shuts off, even when you are physically exhausted. you pick up on collective anxiety, social tension, future threats, and unspoken dynamics long before others name them, so you are often carrying emotional weight that does not even belong to you. this creates a constant low-grade overstimulation that never fully resolves. you may feel wired, restless, or detached from your body without knowing why. when stress builds, you do not seek comfort, you seek disconnection. zoning out for hours online. disappearing into forums, playlists, group chats, or scrolling until your eyes burn. using weed, stimulants, or dissociatives to float above your feelings instead of staying inside them. sleeping at odd hours, reversing your schedule, feeling safest at night when the world quiets down. you may intellectualize your pain, analyze it, and give it language, but avoid actually inhabiting it. addiction here is about escaping embodiment. substances and compulsive digital habits become a buffer between you and a world that feels too loud, invasive, and demanding of your presence.
8TH | LIBRA
your shadow forms through relational dependency and emotional outsourcing. you struggle to sit alone with discomfort, so you merge with others to regulate yourself. connection becomes a way to avoid your own inner tension. this can look like serial relationships, emotional triangulation, staying too long in unbalanced dynamics, or using substances socially to feel desirable and accepted. alcohol to smooth interactions. weed to avoid conflict. sex, flirting, or validation as a drug. people become coping mechanisms. you may reshape yourself to maintain harmony, then secretly resent how much you give and how little you receive. boundaries blur, and you lose your sense of self trying to keep the peace. addiction here is not about substances alone, it is about dissolving into others to avoid facing your own emotional needs. healing begins when you learn to tolerate emotional friction without rushing to fix it. intimacy does not require self-abandonment. connection is safer when you can stay inside yourself.
Note: These are all my personal observations and patterns I've noticed over the years. Take what resonates with you more and leave the rest. Lemme know in the comments if it hits home!
8th lord in 1st - THE APOCALYPSE SURVIVORS - Their survival instincts are higher than Burj Khalifa. In some cases, these natives can undergo a physical transformation either through plastic surgery, liposuction, or major surgeries due to accidents/ diseases. They can keep their identity a secret and prefer not to share things about themselves. Good placement for pursuing a career as a detective or in intelligence services. In rare cases, physical deformity. Can be irreligious/ agnostic/ atheist. Spouse would defend and help them overcome obstacles in life.
8th lord in 2nd - THE FRANK-EINSTEIN - Can have dental problems or weak dental health. Can't keep others' secrets. Can have thyroid issues in some cases. 8th lord rules in-laws and spouse's resources. After marriage, both of you could share your bank accounts and properties. Not just that, you can get sudden gains from others when you least expect it. Rags to riches. Hidden source of income. Ex: Sugar baby, startup founder, multiple sources of income, etc.
8th lord in 3rd - THE SCREAM QUEEN/KING - Can expose others' secrets to friends/ neighbors and be distant from siblings. Might gossip about their sibling or neighbors, or just anyone they know personally. A troubled relationship with the spouse's family, and they might be living in the same city as you. Spouse's family can have messy or dirty little secrets.
8th lord in 4th - ROSEMARY'S RELATIVES - Father can have health issues. In some cases, a troubled relationship with the father. In-laws can be nagging and could interfere with the native's marital life. Sexual satisfaction. Can move away due to issues with in-laws. Big changes affecting the native's mother psychologically.
8th lord in 5th - THE SAW SURVIVORS - Objectified/ sexualized by their peers or colleagues. In some cases, an unplanned pregnancy or STDs. Love life can feel like a storm sometimes. Prone to attract red flags. Can wait to have kids. In some cases, one child is enough for them, or they can be child-free. Speaks cryptically. Share their secretive knowledge with others. Childhood trauma - physical/ sexual abuse is possible, in some cases.
8th lord in 6th - THE OVERTIME OVERLORDS - These natives can be interested in astronomy. They can pursue a career, banking and finance, occultist, mortician, astronomy, medicine, academic research, law enforcement, etc. Might love to look at the planets through a telescope. Wonders what's beyond our solar system. Unorthodox path.
8th lord in 7th - THE CABIN CREW - In-laws can be irritating/ dominating. These natives would share their secrets with their spouse, which can be used as a weapon against them over time. They should be careful of what they're sharing with their spouse. Sexual life involves kinks and such. If married young, it can end in a messy divorce. In love life, prone to attract partners who become crazy exes after a breakup.
8th lord in 8th - THE DRACULA'S MINION - Spouse can be wealthier than the native. Spouse would spend money on whatever these natives ask, or even if they didn't ask, the spouse would buy expensive things for them as a gift. Close relationship with in-laws/spouse's family. Reads people with their X-ray vision. Carry their deepest secrets to the grave. Spouse's ancestry could be a mystery or discovered late in life, can have mixed ancestry too. After marriage, these natives would live like a king/ queen. Longevity for the spouse's life span.
8th lord in 9th - THE SHADOWBORN - Spouse either lives too close to you or too far away. Can feel lost in life, religion or spirituality at some point, all at once. Would meet their well-wisher or a spiritual guide in their late 20s or early 30s. The spouse might help them regain control of their life. Spouse would be their backbone and stick through thick and thin.
8th lord in 10th - THE PHANTOM FACT FINDER - Mixed reputation in society. People would reveal their true colors within weeks of meeting these natives. People or friends just disappear when these natives really need someone to help them. Professions related to agriculture, geology, environmental studies in general, medicine, ER doctor, hospice, etc, would suit these natives. These natives love to uncover hidden truths, conspiracies and can even become a whistleblower.
8th lord in 11th - THE SPINE CHILLER - Trust issues in friendships/ social circle. Their small mistake or a little secret can be twisted and taken out of context by others and can destroy their social life. Prone to attract stalkers or people who dig deep into the native's life to gain something. Friends either transform or destroy them.
8th lord in 12th house - THE GRIM REAPER - Can experience OBEs. Spend a lot of their alone time on spirituality and learning about death, about the universe, reincarnation, different religious scriptures, etc. Can marry a foreigner or live abroad after marriage. Know what others think of them, intuitively. Spirit guides can visit them through dreams. Can dream of loved ones' death long before it happens. Carry their secret to the grave or pass on their knowledge through writing. Connects well with older people and foreigners.
Note: I've given a name to each position. Let me know if you like this approach. If so, I'll continue using named positions from now on.
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đĽ What Love Feels Like When Youâre the One Whoâs Afraid (Mars in the Signs)
Itâs easy to talk about desire when no oneâs touching the wound. Easy to name your type, your taste, your turn-ons, until someone gets close enough to ask for the part of you that doesnât perform. Love is soft until itâs real. And then it feels like exposure, surrender, like standing naked in a room where someone else is holding the light. This isnât about how you chase, flirt, or fuck. This is about what happens when love reaches you. The part of you that recoils when it feels too safe. The heat that turns to panic. The instinct to pull away before they see the part you havenât forgiven in yourself. This is Mars, where your body holds memory. Where love stops being a story and starts being a threat.
Hereâs what love feels like when youâre the one whoâs afraid.
Sign by sign. Bone by bone.
Mars in Aries
Love feels like a match you didnât mean to light: sudden, blazing, impossible to hold without getting burned. At first, itâs thrilling. You chase, you conquer, you melt into the urgency of wanting. But the moment they stand still long enough to catch you, something inside you flinches. Not because theyâve done anything wrong, but because now itâs real. Now theyâre not running. Now theyâre looking at you like youâre the one worth staying for. And thatâs when fear walks in wearing your own face. You start a fight just to feel like yourself again. You pull away to feel powerful. You mistake tenderness for a trap. Because underneath the boldness, you donât know how to stay when youâre not in motion. You crave devotion, but you're terrified of what it asks: stillness, softness, being chosen without having to earn it. And so you run to feel safe again, as if distance could protect you from the intimacy you secretly need.
Mars in Taurus
Love feels like a slow wind pressing against something you've tried so hard to keep still. You want it, crave it, even, but only if it doesnât ask you to change your shape too fast. You trust what grows over time, what proves itself, what doesnât rush the opening. But fear creeps in quietly here. It shows up when the rhythm changes. When the ground you built starts to shift. When someone touches the part of you that remembers what it felt like to lose everything after finally letting go. So you resist. Not with anger, but with silence. With a sudden chill. With a stubborn kind of stillness that says: "donât come any closer until Iâm sure you wonât leave." You pull back into your body, your habits, your comforts, because you care so deeply, and the risk of unraveling feels too big. You want love to last. You just donât know how to stop bracing for the moment it doesnât.
Mars in Gemini
Love feels like a question you donât know how to answer out loud. It excites you, electrifies you, opens a thousand windows in your mind. But when someone leans in too close, too certain, too sure of you, your pulse starts to scatter. You speak, but not the truth. You touch, but not with both hands. The fear isnât that love will leave, but that it will trap, freeze your curiosity, clip your motion, take your wild and name it tame. So you stay just out of reach, talking instead of landing, flirting instead of unfolding. You joke when it gets too quiet. You vanish when it gets too warm. And deep down, itâs not because you donât want intimacy, itâs because you're terrified of what might happen if someone finally heard your mind all the way through. Youâre afraid that if you stop performing, youâll be misunderstood, or worse, seen as the silence beneath the spark.
Mars in Cancer
Love feels like a room you canât stop rearranging, fluffing the pillows, checking the locks, folding the blankets before anyoneâs asked to stay. You donât fall so much as absorb, slowly and without warning, until someone takes up space in your nervous system. But fear lives right beneath the comfort. It arrives when love lingers too long, when someone starts reading the notes between your words, when they want to know how you really feel. You retreat before they ask, not always in distance, but in deflection, in caretaking, in withdrawal, in moods you expect them to interpret like weather. You donât mean to punish, you mean to protect. Youâve learned to survive by nurturing others before they abandon you, by controlling the environment so no one sees how tender your center actually is. But even you know: love isnât safe when itâs a chore. And hiding your anger inside affection doesnât make it disappear. It only teaches people to love your silence instead of your voice.
Mars in Leo
Love feels like a spotlight you didnât ask for, warm at first, golden even, until you realize theyâre not just watching, theyâre seeing the real you. The part thatâs not always composed, the part that doubts. And thatâs when fear curls behind your ribs. Because if they see you that clearly, they might stop admiring you. They might get bored. They might leave. So you reach for control. You shine harder, you try to impress love into staying. But underneath the spark is a quieter ache: you donât trust that love can last without being earned. That someone could stay even when youâre not radiant, even when youâre soft, silent, unguarded. So you push them to prove it, again and again, until the pressure breaks the very thing you were trying to hold. And that's not because you donât want love, but because you canât bear to feel ordinary once it arrives.
Mars in Virgo
Love feels like a thread youâre afraid to pull, because youâre sure the whole thing will unravel. You want connection, deeply, but only if itâs safe, only if it makes sense, only if you can study every edge before it touches you. And when it finally does, when someone reaches for you not as a concept but as a real, flawed thing, you flinch. Not always outwardly, sometimes in the way you overthink their word choice. In the way you analyze your own text three times before pressing send. In the way you offer help instead of presence, advice instead of feeling. The fear is subtle but constant: that if someone gets too close, theyâll notice the fault lines you havenât fixed yet. So you preempt the loss by becoming useful, by being the one who manages the mess, as if love is something you can keep clean if you just try hard enough. But perfection is lonely, and your need to hold it all together is the very thing that keeps your hands too full to be held.
Mars in Libra
Love feels like walking a tightrope between wanting to be chosen and wanting to disappear before they make up their mind. You crave connection, skin to skin, soul to soul, but as soon as it begins to form, fear rushes in, disguised as diplomacy. You become careful, composed. You ask what they need before they even speak, adjust your tone, smooth your rough edges until you forget what you actually wanted in the first place. Because wanting feels dangerous here, asserting feels selfish. And so you hesitate, you defer, you delay the moment where things get too real, too sharp, too vulnerable to keep smiling through. But beneath the politeness is panic: what if they only love the version of you that doesnât make waves? What if you ask for too much and tip the whole thing off balance? So you keep the peace, even when it costs you intimacy. You wait for them to move first, but in your stillness, love passes by, never realizing how badly you wanted it to stay.
Mars in Scorpio
Love feels like a knife you hand to someone with the blade pointed toward your chest. You donât fall in, it pulls you under, drags you through memory, instinct, obsession. You donât do halfway, you want to merge, to dissolve, to own and be owned, until someone gets close enough to actually see you. Thatâs when the fear begins, quiet, but unmistakable. Not of love itself, but of what it can destroy. You test without meaning to, you stare too long, you pull them closer while imagining how theyâll leave. And you hate that about yourself, how badly you want control just to feel safe. But inside every glance, every silence, every slow undoing, thereâs the unspoken question: will you betray me? Because if they do, you already planned for it. And if they donât⌠now youâre exposed. Naked in a way power canât protect. You crave love that consumes, but you fear the part of you that might vanish in the fire.
Mars in Sagittarius
Love feels like a window left open on purpose, just enough space to leave if you need to. At first, itâs joy, you fall into someone like theyâre a story youâve never heard, all laughter and adventure and wide, open sky. But when things slow down, when the questions get intimate, when the routines begin, when they ask where this is going, you get the urge to disappear, because part of you believes that real love should never feel like a cage. So you pull away through jokes, through freedom, through future plans you donât quite invite them into. The fear lives in the spaces between promises: the dread that loving someone too closely might shrink you, trap you, make you choose. And choosing feels like a kind of death of possibility, of independence, of the you you havenât fully lived into yet. So you chase love like a comet, always in motion. What youâre really running from isnât commitment, itâs the version of yourself youâre afraid might vanish once you stay.
Mars in Capricorn
Love feels like a contract you were never sure you had the right to sign. You want it, deeply, but only if it proves itself. Only if itâs built to last. So you wait, you measure, you test the structure before stepping inside. And when love begins to grow, not in flashes but in quiet, steady offerings, thatâs when fear tightens its grip. What if it fails? What if you do? So you keep your guard up, with competence, with responsibility, with reliability, with the quiet expectation that if you just do everything right, it wonât fall apart. But underneath the control is a question you rarely let surface: What if Iâm only lovable because Iâm useful? And thatâs the wound. You want devotion, but you fear what will be left when youâre no longer performing strength. So you stay composed, even when your heart is breaking. You stay reliable, even when what you crave most is to be held, not for what you do, but for what you feel and never say.
Mars in Aquarius
Love feels like a system youâre trying to stay outside of. You want it but from a safe vantage point. From a little further back. Where you can study it, joke about it, want it without being devoured by it. You need space like oxygen, but sometimes you use it to disappear. Fear doesnât shout here, it flickers in detachment. In the sudden withdrawal, in the way you observe instead of participate, test instead of trust. You chase connection through mental sync, through shared visions, through that strange electricity that makes someone feel fated. But when they start to touch your edges, emotionally, physically, predictably, something shuts down. Itâs not that you donât care, you care so much you short-circuit. The fear is that loving too closely will override your circuitry, swallow your individuality, rewrite your code. So you retreat into theory, into freedom, into the version of love that doesnât ask you to feel. But part of you knows, when no oneâs looking, that the real risk isnât losing yourself. Itâs never letting anyone close enough to see you.
Mars in Pisces
Love feels like a wave that pulls you under before you decide to swim. You fall into fantasy, into mood, into the version of them youâve already built in your mind. And for a while, itâs beautiful, intoxicating, borderless. But then the fear creeps in as fog. You disappear slowly, missed calls, delayed replies. A sudden silence where warmth used to be. Itâs not cruelty, itâs confusion. Youâre not sure where your feelings end and theirs begin. Youâre not sure if you want them or just donât want to be alone. You avoid the confrontation, the sharp moment where someone asks: What are we doing? because youâd rather drift than decide. Because saying no out loud feels violent. Because saying yes might mean waking up from the dream. And so you leave through the side door of your own mind, hoping theyâll understand the silence as softness. Hoping theyâll miss you without needing to ask why you left.
Š 2025 francesca mazzi. All rights reserved.
my book "The sky within" available on amazon and all digital platforms!
⧠Jupiter in the 1st â You bounce back. Every. Single. Time. Life can knock you down, but your spirit always rises louder. You are the luck.
⧠Jupiter in the 2nd â You never stay broke for long. Resources, self-worth, or comfort: something always multiplies when you trust your value.
⧠Jupiter in the 3rd â The right words show up when you need them most. Connections come through. Messages find you. Communication flows in divine timing.
⧠Jupiter in the 4th â You are protected through your roots. No matter how broken things get at home, you grow new foundations. Ancestors guide you.
⧠Jupiter in the 5th â Joy always returns. The muse may leave, but she always comes back. Creativity, romance, and self-expression find you when you need them most.
⧠Jupiter in the 6th â Order returns to chaos. You always find a way to rebuild your routines, heal your body, or get back on track. Faith lives in your habits.
⧠Jupiter in the 7th â Love, support, or guidance appears just in time. A partner, a friend, a mirror â someone always shows up to walk beside you.
⧠Jupiter in the 8th â You transform your pain into power. You may lose it all, but you rise more radiant. The alchemy of survival is your magic.
⧠Jupiter in the 9th â You always land on higher ground. Whether through travel, learning, or belief â you find meaning, and meaning saves you.
⧠Jupiter in the 10th â You were made to succeed. Even if it takes time, your work gets seen. You were never meant to play small.
⧠Jupiter in the 11th â The vision never dies. Even when people leave, the right community finds you. You dream bigger than your circumstances.
⧠Jupiter in the 12th â Your soul is never truly alone. Miracles find you in solitude. Spirit speaks loudest when the world is quiet.
It will be hard to have an emotional connection with people you want to be with because they'll see you for something surface level. They'll want the lilith energy you can provide and not dig deeper. They love the reputation you have and can use you for it.
Lilith in Capricorn
But since they have a reputation to uphold, they should understand that you do to, that you dont associate with fake love or loyalty. You have options.
Surrounding yourself with capricorn placements will help lure you out of your shell.
There can be a common misconception that you don't "finish things" or you don,t do them on time. That time is something you waste, and you "have no drive." Where it's placed house wise can tell you who says it to you the most, e.g, 4th house = family, 7th house = business partners, lovers, one on one friends. 11th house = Online, peers behind your back
Matching Liliths
Having matching liliths can create friction between people, especially if the asteroid is underdeveloped. You see parts of yourself that show your pain in someone else, and it can trigger you. My best friend and ex-crush both have lilith in virgo, and they practically avoided each other unless it was to find me. My best friend definitely disliked MUCH him more, but it was understandable.
Lilith in 6th house
Lilith in 6th house can develop unhealthy habits that can be disguised as healthy if they aren't careful. Especially dangerous when other people won't believe you as you get sicker and sicker. All those reddit stories about people telling their bosses that they'll ill and not believing them most likely have this placement.
If its not your illness, then it's your work, how all that effort you put in is overlooked. Dont worry, because all that energy and effort will put you too far above them for you to care.
Lilith in 1st house
(I'm imagining yall on a pile of money lmao)
This placement is very hard to navigate because it feels like the people of the world are out to get you, the majority of the time, from people of the same sex/gender presentation.
People who are attracted to you make it a point to dehumanize you, making you feel alone, that you can't make emotional connections for some reason.
There will be people for you, those who look further, be careful, and be safe with who you surround yourself with because it's likely many have ulterior motives.
Every year, the Sun returns to the exact place it touched when you first arrived into this world. Itâs a quiet coronation, invisible to most, but your soul feels it. It marks the beginning of a new chapter, a new breath, a new becoming.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 1st House
This year, life cracks the mirror you've been using to judge yourself and places a window there instead. Itâs not about how you appear anymore. Itâs about how you exist when no oneâs grading you. This season asks you to burn every mask you wore just to be loved, and walk bare-faced into the morning. It will feel disorienting at first, like losing a role you've rehearsed for years.
But somewhere underneath the discomfort, youâll find the raw, bright skin of your real self emerging. You are not becoming someone new.
You are remembering who you were before the world asked you to edit it. This year, your body, your breath, your being, they are the message. You are not here to be understood. You are here to be. Let the world adjust to your light.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 2nd House
This year, life leads you by the hand into the garden of your own value and locks the gate behind you. Itâs a season where you cannot keep leaving yourself for bargains dressed as love. The soil you plant into will be tested: are you building worth from whatâs solid, or whatâs shiny? Are you trading your roots for rented approval? Scarcity will try to whisper lies to you, that you have to grab, to hoard, to prove yourself. But beneath all that noise, this year offers a quieter truth: what you already carry is enough to sustain you, and anything that costs your peace is already too expensive. This isnât about ownership. Itâs about becoming unbuyable.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 3rd House
This year, the air around you buzzes with messages, but you are being asked not just to speak louder, but to speak truer. Itâs not about winning debates or decorating conversations. Itâs about cutting through the noise and reaching for the pulse underneath. Words you used to wield like armor will need to soften. Quick wit will be replaced by slow truth. This year, every casual conversation holds a portal. Every passing thought could be a seed. You are building bridges with your voice, not to escape yourself, but to call yourself home. Speak, even when it feels too small to matter. Thatâs where the real architecture of your year is being built: word by word, breath by breath.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 4th House
This year, life calls you home, not to a place, but to the parts of yourself you abandoned to survive. The walls you once built for safety will start to ache for windows. The rooms inside you that stayed dark out of habit will ask for light. It's not about fixing the past. It's about making peace with the soil that grew you. Family, whether chosen or given, will mirror back where your roots are strong and where they still need water. This is a year of restoration, of quiet revolutions beneath the skin, where nurturing yourself is not an afterthought, itâs the blueprint. Healing will not come in fireworks. It will come in how gently you hold your own name when no one is listening.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 5th House
This year, life dares you to risk joy without an escape plan. To fall in love with the act of creating, not the applause it may (or may not) bring. To laugh so deeply you forget whoâs watching. To play without asking if youâve earned the right to be light. Childhood wounds will flicker, reminding you where you learned that happiness had to be earned. But this time, you know better: joy is not a reward, itâs a rebellion. This is the year you dance barefoot over the broken promises of the past and build new worlds with the music only you can hear.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 6th House
This year, life teaches you that devotion is not a grand gesture, itâs built in the quiet hours. Healing becomes the way you brush your teeth, the way you keep promises to your future self. Itâs the year where your body, your mind, and your spirit will ask for a truer rhythm, not the one that keeps you productive, but the one that keeps you alive. You will notice how chaos seduces you into self-abandonment, and how gentleness stitches you back together. It's not about working harder. It's about working with yourself, not against. This is the year you learn that maintenance is a form of magic too.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 7th House
This year, life hands you a mirror shaped like another person, not to lose yourself inside them, but to learn where you end and they begin. Love will no longer be about proving your worth by being needed. This is a season of partnerships that call you higher, not partnerships that ask you to shrink. You will see who holds you because they cherish you, and who holds you because they fear losing control. Relationships will become your classrooms but also your launchpads. Itâs not about being chosen anymore. It's about choosing yourself, even inside love.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 8th House
This year, life invites you into the places where you still hide from yourself. Every buried hunger, every secret ache, every boundary you thought you could live without, they will rise. Not to punish you. To free you. Transformation is not gentle here. It peels. It burns. It strips away everything you thought made you safe. But underneath the ruin, there is resurrection. This is the year you stop surviving your life and start inhabiting it fully, even if it means breaking open first.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 9th House
This year, life tosses you a compass and sets your soul loose. It will dare you to believe that you are allowed to outgrow your beginnings. New questions will replace old certainties. Wanderlust wonât just pull you toward places, it will pull you toward parts of yourself you havenât met yet. This is a season of becoming fluent in the language of your own freedom. You will no longer be asked to explain your expansion to people who never left their front porch. This is the year you live wide and love even wider.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 10th House
This year, life builds you a stage but asks first if youâre ready to be seen without the armor. Recognition is coming, but itâs not the applause that will matter. Itâs whether you stayed loyal to yourself when no one was clapping yet. Authority is not something given to you, it's something you become when you decide you are enough. This is the year you sculpt your legacy, not out of success, but out of self-respect. Build what you once needed. Become who you once dreamed about.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 11th House
This year, life pulls you into a bigger story. Dreams that used to feel like daydreams will start to wear real names, real timelines, real forms. Community will no longer be a background hum, it will become a cornerstone. You will find your people, or your people will find you, but only when you dare to dream so loudly the world can't pretend not to hear you. This is the year you stop hiding your wildest visions. You were never too much, you were just ahead of schedule.
âď¸ Solar Return Sun in the 12th House
This year, life draws the curtains to bring you back to yourself. Itâs a season of invisible blooming, of silent alchemy. Healing will happen where you stopped looking. Miracles will slip in through cracks you once feared. You are not lost. You are becoming too vast to be mapped the way you used to be. This is the year you learn that surrender is not giving up, itâs growing beyond the need to control whatâs already been promised to you. Trust the dark. Thatâs where your light is being remade.
I know that this is a post that many creators on here have made, I thought i could add in some new ideas and such! âď¸
my readings are open :) âď¸
sun in 1st house: there is a ton of opportunity given to you this year, even if natally your sun is in detriment (libra/aquarius). you may become more independent this year, you may become more noticeable or praised by others. even if you may be scared, this is your time to take life into your own hands. be sure to reach out to others regularly even if life forces you to focus on your personal endeavors the majority of the time. you may also learn to overcome some long-held fears this year.
sun in 2nd house: life may slow down a little bit (unless if thereâs other indicators) with this placement in the chart. similar to the 1st house, thereâs a good chance that people will give you praise even gifts/money for the skills and talents you possess. this is a good time to reorganize your life, to journal, to do some self care too. if youâre looking for a job that keep you stable, you may find that job this year and it could go quite smoothly with bosses. you will start to realize the importance of standing up for yourself.
sun in 3rd house: busy year, similar to that of the 1st house but itâs more externally-focused than you-focused. games, video games, long-convos could be happening much more frequently and be quite enjoyable for you this year. you could be receiving a lot of news around you, which includes being more exposed to gossip. you could get more attention for your charisma, humor, and/or charm. this year may force you to get more involved with your community/town, extracurriculars could be more expansive too.
sun in 4th house: you could be preparing for something this year. a lot of your family members could be proud of you for a particular achievement you made, you could also find some new coping mechanisms if youâve been struggling with that too this year. this is a time where you could feel more connected with nature/universe itself. history, death, and the concept of natureâs cycles could be highlighted this year. this is a very transformational time in your life where you feel in-between worlds
sun in 5th house: recognition of some kind is likely for this year since the 5h is a house of honor/adoration, especially for those of you who have side hustles or passions you really want to express to the world. this year could be particularly memorable if paired with other prominent aspects in the solar or natal x solar chart. even if you may be an introvert you will be engaging in a variety of activities and probably going out more anyways (think late night drives, carnivals, doing art, etcâŚ). overall, a very fun year ahead!
sun in 6th house: yes, schedules this routines that, but this year is one that will really build your fortitude and tenacity for whatever life may throw at you. the 6th house is a busy house, but not the same type of busy like 3rd house is. 6th houseâs type of busy is about running more errands or doing more tasks to prepare for the bigger goals and visions you have for your life. you could be doing a lot more housework or drafting new plans for career as potential examples. you would come out this year stronger and more prepared for life
sun in 7th house: you could feel more inclined to follow peopleâs lead, depending on the sign this could be a year where you are exposed to a lot of new endeavors through others. the 7th house could also signify something to do with business so you may grow your business through partnerships or gaining praise from other people on your business or achievements. this is a year that can bring a lot of opportunity and where you will learn a lot of new things in general. you may start to become more aware of your impact on others.
sun in 8th house: iâm not going to sugarcoat it, this can prove to be a difficult year. while you may be able to get help from others easily and at the same time others would take you more seriously, there can be this feeling of never-ending burden as well. this is a year that tests how far your willing to go for your goals. is this your true calling? what bridges are you willing to burn down? what bad habits do you need to become more aware of? on the reverse, what life conditions imposed onto you are holding you back?
sun in 9th house: this is typically a joyous year because sun naturally rejoices in this house. you may feel much more free to do as you please this year but still supported nonetheless. you may see a lot of regiments or routines come to fruition or at least significantly progress this year. your view on life will definitely change for the better. even though you could still be surrounded by others, thereâs definitely an internal pull to really focus on the changes made to yourself internally and/or externally this year.
sun in 10th house: as cliche as it is, yes recognition for your work(s) is to be expected of this year. this is a good indicator of big projects finally being released out into the world and finally reaping some rewards (but this also depends on the 11h + itâs ruling planet). very busy year, thereâs likely a leveling up in your societal status (ex: marrying, new job, becoming a parent, etcâŚ), you would be much happier and fulfilled in the work/projects you contribute to society overall this year. definitely an increase in popularity.
sun in 11th house: popularity is a crucial theme this year, youâre most likely involved with some new friend groups or extracurricular activities/clubs than you were beforehand, this is a great year to experiment socially and to find your âcliqueâ. since this is the house of jupiter, you could have a lot of lucky moments this year not just socially but also in the opportunities you garner this year in advancing your status/career or money as well. a key word for this year is âopportunityâ. you could be dealing with larger audiences/crowds too.
sun in 12th house: this is a very chaotic and externally a fast-paced year. but internally you could feel so confused about how to achieve your goals or that you often get side-tracked by a lot of other things. this is not to say that this confusion or side quests are necessarily bad, but this year could also be a very life-changing year and you will most likely not come out the same as before. on the flip-side, this could also be an indication that you are taking more vacations and breaks from work to focus more on other projects or self-healing.
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