Ā That Babe Dot Net Aziz article is horribly written and negligently published. It has done no one any good ā not the victim, not the movement, no one. And again let me be very specific, because I got a lot of condescending snark for talking about this before, I am not saying that this woman telling her story was wrong, I am saying that this WEBSITE publishing a half-baked account full of distracting details and lacking important ones has done no good.Ā
Ā This whole movement was broken open by top notch journalism. That first Weinstein article in the NY Times was incredibly well researched. The Ronan Farrow articles that followed got in front of every angle of doubt and chased them down, again creating an airtight depiction. Thatās why people finally believed ā it was finally all presented with tons of evidence and stories that pointed to undeniable patterns of abuse. Yes, women should be believed, but as with any crime there will be doubts and these articles did the victims a service by expecting and invalidating these doubts with facts.Ā
Ā The more recent James Franco article was harder to pin down. The stories were not about women saying āNO!ā and him physically forcing them. They were more nuanced manipulations. If just one of those stories had been published, readers would have seen it as some crazy woman trying to take down a beloved famous man ā exactly the same way ALL of these stories used to be received just a few months ago. Instead of publishing just one story, the LA Times waited to pull together stories from 5 different women. So even if readers had some doubts about aspects of one account, there was clearly an undeniable pattern of women feeling abused and mistreated by Franco.Ā
Ā But this Aziz article is dogshit. However abusive you, dear reader, might or might not find the night in question ā Iād say that publishing this article was a far more abusive act against that victim. They hung her out to dry in exchange for clicks on their garbage website no one had ever heard of before. This article left out important details, but it DID include tidbits like her outfit was āa good outfitā (?) and he gave her the wrong type of wine which was significant to her. This makes it look like her complaints about the sexual encounter are on par with her complaints about the wine. This is the sort of thing someone would include in an article in which they are ACTIVELY trying to discredit the victim.Ā
Ā The picture painted is so confusing and threadbare, everyone is parsing it through the lens of their own experiences. I have seen and heard many variations on āthis felt exactly like what happened to me the night that guy locked me in his apartmentā or āI said all the same things to the man who raped meā or āthe way people are discounting her experience is just like how people treated me when I told them what happened to me.ā Iām also seeing and hearing a lot of āthis kind of thing has happened to me dozens of times, and it was no big deal so this is no big dealā or āI had a guy jump me in a cab and I could kick my way out of it ā but she couldnāt just put on a coat and go?ā In ALL of these cases, people are using their personal experiences and traumas to fill in the gaps and shade the edges of this flaming turd of an article. It isnāt accurate, and itās making everything feel personal.Ā
Ā I can use my own experiences to turn that article into moments from my past where I was shredded by the disrespect of someone I thought cared about me. Or times when I felt decidedly unsafe or even violated. I can also draw lines from that story to evenings that were disappointing, but didnāt include any kind of loss of control or boundaries ignored. Pushed against, but not ignored. Or where I left feeling disgusted at some guy for being a pushy loser, but didnāt feel unsafe. But it shouldnāt be about my experiences, thatās not actually what happened. And I didnāt have to do this mental role play with any of the other significant articles that have come out revealing famous male sexual abusers.Ā
Ā So, hereās what I really really want ā before you āgo afterā anyone for not agreeing with you on this festering wound of an article, please consider that it is not the contents of the article they are responding to but the memory it evoked of their own experiences. Interrogate yourself, too ā are you adding your own personal history to this? And demand more from the people writing on this incredibly important and delicate topic.Ā
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