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[hhhvhhbbhukv]

I hate my freaking life bro, imagine getting persecuted only because of your skin color? I hate ICE I hate Trump, I hate everyone involved in this, I hate the supporters I hate everything. I wish this would all end but we have 3 more years of this madnesss, if I don’t end up killing myself one day ICE might end me

[hhhvhhbbhukv]

I want to be loved. I want to be loved like how sun meets moon, I want the kind of love I never got to see. I want to be held, cared for, and wanted. The type of love that when others ask why them I’ll respond with a million reasons, I don’t want to live not really, but the thought that I’ll be able to find that love one day wants to make me keep going. I grew up with the kind of love that wakes you up with shouts and angry tension. The type of love that makes you want to stay far from home longer so you won’t have to experience it. I want my love to be different, my love will consist of remembering the little things, of waking up next to someone and cuddling with them for five minutes that will turn into another five minutes, until we both have to get up for work. I want to make dinner and feel warm hands wrap around me, not because they have to, but because they want too. I want to dance with them softly in the middle of the night when we both can’t sleep. I want to be loved because I never got to see that love.

N.C

[hhhvhhbbhukv]

Bro I’m so fucking tired of this, I don’t want to get out of bed anymore. No one but me knows I feel this way, this is my only diary, the only place where I can tell others what’s going on with me without anyone knowing who I am, because I don’t think I’ll be able to stand the looks of pity or people not believing in me.

I’m always happy, I always have a smile on my face, I’m outgoing, loud, and enthusiastic. No one suspects a thing, I’ve always been happy without effort but lately the happiness has turned into a mask and everyday I wish for real happiness

[hhhvhhbbhukv]

Bro I can’t do this anymore, I’m so fucking sad it’s not even funny. I hate me, I hate myself, I hate my body, I hate everything about me. Nothing about me is likeable, the only place where I’m living a happy life with happy parents, being able to afford what I want, and having someone who cares and loves me is in my mind, but it’s also the one place that’s destroying my self esteem. I can’t do this, I feel like my friends only tolerate me and I won’t be surprised if my friends are only with me for pity. I feel like mom doesn’t love me because my dad left us and left her with nothing, no child support, no helping with the kids. Nothing. I’m trying I really am, but I’m only thinking about how in a few years I’ll be 18 I’ll be able to leave home and distance myself from everyone so no one remembers me and then I’ll be able to leave this earth

[hhhvhhbbhukv]

This is an alt account but I need somewhere to vent, somewhere where people won’t judge me. Somewhere where people relate to me instead of brushing me off or making fun of me. I’ve never told this to anyone else because I’m scared of how they’ll react, will they cry? Will they be mad? Will they not believe? I’m tired of life, I don’t think I can continue to old age, I have my life planned out and I don’t see a future past the age of 25, which is weird because I’m nowhere near being 25. I’m just a random high school girl so I’m sure no one will know who I am. I have thoughts that sometimes get loud and other days get quieter, but they’re there. In the back of my mind and I can’t stop them, they tell me how worthless I am, how everyone would be happy if I were somewhere else, not on this planet. The thoughts tell me all these horrible things, and I don’t think they’ll ever be gone. I will be posting on here everytime I feel I can’t keep going