It hurt to forget. But it also hurt to remember. She knew what she had done was horrible and this was the reason why she had cut herself off from everyone – but somehow, she couldn’t cut herself off from him.
The image of the green-skinned changeling still remained in her mind – and it pained her each time she thought of him. Maybe it was because she had told him to forget about her and her last memory of him was a pained expression – the pain of having lost her.
But Terra tried hard to move on as she went from class to class but even after over a week, the pain was still deep. Her grades were not very high and even her friends had tried to cheer her up on a few occasions.
The girl let out a sigh as the teacher signaled the end of class. Finally, she could get away! The bell rang and Terra stood up, telling her friends that she’d meet up with them another day. Today, she was just not feeling it.
The girl walked through the hallways until she came up at her locker. Eyes widened when she saw a small necklace hung from it from the inside – it was a silver heart with a T inside it.
And all she saw was another reminder from her past – that she was Terra. And the image of the shape-shifter came to her mind once again, squeezing her heart.
In a fit of anger and sadness, the girl ripped the necklace from the locker and disposed of it in the closest trashcan.
With quick steps, she swung open the door of the school and hurried away. And just before the door closed, a small salamander slipped through the closed door, scurrying towards the girl’s locker.
But the necklace wasn’t there and the animal morphed into human. He looked left and right but the hallways were empty and he made his way back.
Did she take it? Beast Boy hoped so. It’s been a week he stopped himself from looking for her – too long for his taste. So he decided to leave her a small gift.
A flicker of hope spread through him at the prospect of her possibly remembering him. But the smile he wore vanished as soon as he noticed the same necklace in a trashcan he was passing. He stopped and stared into the trashcan, anger and sadness gripping him like the cold.
How could she do this to him? Why wouldn’t she even want to be his friend? Even if he had done something to anger her or she didn’t want to be a hero anymore, he was willing to start over with her.
His hands clenched to fists and a frown formed on his face.
His eyes rested on the T in the heart of the necklace and the word ‘traitor’ flashed in front of his eyes. He once again felt betrayed.
The ringing of his communicator woke him from his thoughts and he activated it.
“I’m fine. Thanks for asking,” Raven remarked sarcastically. “Where are you? We got trouble with Brother Blood.”
“I’m busy,” he replied as his eyes rested on the necklace.
“We need you, Beast Boy. What you’re doing can wait,” Robin said as he appeared on the screen. “He’s at Chang’s lab. Meet us there in 15 minutes,” Robin ordered and the changeling made a face at him.
“Listen, we know you haven’t been feeling the best lately but that’s not an excuse to just act all high and mighty. Either you’re helping or you’ll get in trouble and nobody’s gonna help you,” Raven said. “I’m gonna contact you in 15 minutes and you better be there,” she warned and the screen turned black.
Great! More people telling him what to do and ignoring him!
With a heavy heart, he picked up the necklace, stuffed it in his belt pocket and left. He quickly reached his destination as a raven and morphed back into human in front of the lab.
But his team wasn’t here yet and he guessed he had around 5 minutes left. And he didn’t like to wait for them to come so he decided to check out the situation himself.
He opened the door to the rather unsuspecting building (which was something looking like a private company for shipments of some sort). The hallway he found himself in was somewhat dark and he morphed into a cat to have a better view. Soon, he came up at a bigger hall, lined with tables that had microscopes on them and he noticed on the table on the far side of the hall containing several jars with various liquids in them.
But where was Brother Blood? And as if answering his question, he heard footsteps behind him and he turned around only to get blasted towards the table with the jars on them, shattering them and spilling the contents to the floor.
“Cheating…as always,” the changeling groaned and got back to his feet to see the villain, pointing a red beam at him.
“I’m surprised to see you here. Where are the others? I’ve been anticipating meeting Cyborg again,” he smiled and the smile made the changeling only angrier.
“You have to get through me first if you want to have a piece of Cyborg,” he retorted before morphing into a bull, letting out a snort before charging head on.
“That will be child’s play,” the villain laughed before holding out one of his hands. And with particular ease, he managed to stop the bull from charging as he relentlessly pushed against him. “My turn now,” he said quite proudly before pointing the palm of his other hand towards him and a red laser shot him once again against the table.
The bull morphed back and the changeling slowly got up from between broken glass and wood, his glare fixed at the mechanized Brother Blood.
He could wait for Cyborg to show up. Beast Boy wasn’t done with him yet!
He charged again and Brother Blood prepared to shoot at him again but the changeling turned to a field mouse, zigzagging his way out of the laser beams and once he got close, morphed into a mosquito and flying behind him.
That got Brother Blood confused for a moment and Beast Boy decided to strike now.
He morphed into a gorilla and swung his large hands against him, knocking him towards the wall. But he wasn’t done yet and approached him, lifting him up.
And to his surprise, he got knocked back with a yet stronger laser.
“Is that all you have to offer? Don’t make me laugh,” the changeling heard the madman’s laughter and heard his approaching footsteps.
Then, he’d do something else.
Wrapping one of his hands around a small jar that seemed to be intact, he quickly hurled it at him. The glass shattered releasing the remaining blue liquid on him and he staggered back as his mechanical parts began sizzling.
“W-what have you done?” he roared and prepared to attack him but Beast Boy was already prepared and flung himself as a wolf at him,
He got his hand between his jaws and prepared to crush the metallic hand but Brother Blood wasn’t done yet.
And just as his team had arrived at the scene, the villain shot a large beam form the hand that was between the wolf’s jaws, catapulting the wolf back with a pained whimper.
“Beast Boy! Don’t let him attack!” Robin shouted to his team but something wasn’t right.
Brother Blood seemed not to have complete control of his mechanical body anymore since he not only shot at the Titans but also at the ceiling and walls, making the building unstable.
This made it harder for the others to restrain him.
“He’s out of control! We can’t get even close to him,” Cyborg shouted and they looked to Robin for instructions on what to do.
But before they could say anything, Beast Boy flew into the air as a dove before landing on him as a panther, once again keeping one hand in his jaws.
Unfortunately, that caused a constant beam to be shot at the ceiling and pieces of it were already falling down.
But Beast Boy didn’t care unless he didn’t destroy his suit (or maybe even break his arm) and he wouldn’t let go.
“Raven! Get Beast Boy off him before he’ll make the whole building collapse!” Robin shouted before ordering the others to get out.
And in a flash, the panther was surrounded in dark magic and no amount of struggling helped him escape before he was flung to the ground.
“What was that for? I almost got him!” Beast Boy retorted once he morphed back and Raven looked at him in annoyance and slight disappointment.
“And you also made us all get buried under cement. Now get out before that really happens,” she said and covered Brother Blood in a dark ball, paralyzing him momentarily until they all got out of the building.
Once they were all outside, Cyborg aimed his canon at him (having filled it with some water while they were outside) before shooting at him, successfully shutting him down.
“Finally we are victorious!” Starfire exclaimed relieved before Robin turned to Beast Boy.
“Yeah. But we told you to wait in front of the building. Why did you just fight him on your own?” he asked sternly and the changeling frowned.
“You didn’t show up when I came so I thought I could just check out what he was up to,” he replied and the leader gave him a disapproving look.
“All you had to do was just wait for two minutes. Then we didn’t have to deal with almost getting crushed.”
“I tried to help you! It wasn’t my fault he just kept shooting around himself like crazy!” the changeling retorted and crossed his arms (although that wasn’t entirely true as it was probably the chemicals doing that to him).
“But by you trying to stop him, you almost made the whole ceiling collapse!” the Titan leader retorted a little heatedly and Beast Boy turned away from him, anger and guilt fighting a battle inside him.
“I…I was just trying to help. How should’ve I known something like this was gonna happen?” he muttered and his hands clenched to fists.
“I know. But I think it’s better that you listen to what you’re being told, Beast Boy,” Robin said before Raven placed a hand on his shoulder to signal him to give Beast Boy a little space.
“I…think I need a little moment. I’ll join you guys later,” the changeling muttered and Robin thought for a moment before agreeing to his request.
Relief flooded the changeling before he walked away. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to go but he kept walking through the streets anyways. He hadn’t felt the best lately and maybe a little fresh air could get him back in shape.
The sun was high in the sky and the weather was hot with a cool breeze blowing through the air.
Deciding to enjoy this nice breeze, the changeling took off into the air and the feeling of the wind between his feathers was something he enjoyed every time.
And as he flew over the city, he came across a familiar diner and he flew down, morphing back into human – it was Ben’s. The memories that came with that sign were painful…but the changeling entered the diner anyways, just so he could sink back into those memories again.
It was all he had left of her anyways.
He sat by the counter and ordered a cherry juice because he was in no mood for anything else. His gaze went to the mirror behind the counter and at first all he saw was his tired looking face (with slight burn marks on one side of his face but they’d probably fade away by tomorrow or so).
But as his gaze shifted away from his face, he saw a very familiar figure sitting in one of the booths in the back – a girl with blonde hair.
And his gaze remained on her.
Meanwhile, the girl didn’t really register much as she idly twirled the spoon inside her chocolate milkshake. She hadn’t touched her drink yet as her thoughts were somewhere else.
They were back to the time where she wasn’t alone here – the night before her life spiraled downwards. That night had been the only one where she, for a moment, forgot about anything that had hurt her – that night she was…free and happy.
She could still hear her own laughter, see her own smile. When was the last time she had laughed? She couldn’t remember.
Her fingers gripped the spoon tighter and she tried to forget those bittersweet memories. She had to let go…no matter how hard it was for her.
But like her grip on the spoon, she found herself almost clinging to her memories – to her old life.
She was brought back from her trance as she noticed a shadow over her and she turned…to see the changeling standing beside her. Her gaze hardened immediately as the memories only became more vivid and painful. “What do you want?” she asked, her voice indifferent.
How he hated that tone she addressed him with!
But he put on a smile anyways. “Hey, uh, I didn’t want to bother you or something. But I think you forgot something. Is this yours?” he asked and pulled out the necklace from his belt pocket.
Her eyes widened for a split-second before she almost spat her answer. “No.” Where did he find that? Did he follow her around in school?
“Oh. Uh, I thought it was yours. Sorry if I bothered you,” he chuckled a little, putting the necklace back and saw her waiting for him to leave.
He would…but not before he didn’t get the answer to his next question.
“No. Now if you’d excuse me, Beast Boy,” she said, trying to make him leave. She didn’t want to be bothered with more reminders.
And for some strange reason, she saw his brows furrow as he shot her a disapproving glance.
So Terra dared to say his name but act like she didn’t know him at all?
The frown vanished and he grinned at her. “Hope it’s not getting too boring. You know, sitting here all alone and stuff. I thought your two friends would be here,” he said and he noticed how her gaze went to the table.
Terra felt guilt spread in her. She didn’t even trust Amber and Dionne that much. Sometimes, she’d just decline hanging out with them because she feared that they’d get too close to her.
She didn’t want to lose them either.
“They…were too busy,” she blurted out and the changeling decided to try something to make her come out of her shell a bit more.
“Do you want some company?” he asked, smiling at her and for a moment, Terra glanced at him.
Would it be ok to say yes? Of course not! She wanted to…but she couldn’t.
The hand on the table turned to a fist. “I’m fine. I don’t need company,” she replied but the changeling knew she was lying. Everything spoke for a big, fat lie!
And he felt his own hand turn to fists. But he held himself back. He could never hurt her!
“Cool! I mean…if you ever want to hang out or something…you can uh call me or something?” he said sheepishly.
“I don’t need to call you,” she replied and the changeling felt annoyed with her negative attitude. But he noticed that she was hesitant, thinking her answer over and he decided to make it easier for her (or more like for himself).
“How about we hang out one day? I mean just for once. And…if you don’t like it…you know, I won’t bother you again,” he said slowly, his gaze on her untouched drink.
And that’s where Terra was torn – she neither wanted to get him into her life again, yet, knew she couldn’t stand pushing him out of her life for good.
It had pained her once to crush his happy expression and even until today she felt sick with guilt. She couldn’t do this again – for once…she wanted to see that sunny smile again.
“I…guess one day is fine. But not too late into the night. I really need to get home before midnight at the latest,” she answered slowly and she felt her heart skip a beat, seeing that usual bright smile she had missed.
Yeah, right! She was again lying! She never had a real home! Her only home was in the Tower – with him!
But again, nothing betrayed his thoughts as he gave her a thumbs-up. “Great! So how about today at 7?” he asked and he felt elevated as Terra didn’t object.
He felt more confident and stepped a little closer to her booth. “So mind if I keep you company until you finish your drink?” he chuckled as he pointed at the empty space next to her.
“Yes,” she replied and his laughter died abruptly and suddenly, the cheery atmosphere died. “S-sorry,” she stammered but the changeling held up a hand to silence her.
“No, I get it,” he said quietly. You still think I’m annoying. You still think running is the best option you have. “You want to have some space. And maybe prepare or something, right? I totally get that. Don’t worry. See ya here at 7 then,” he smiled before he walked out of the store, leaving his drink on the counter.
And Terra, feeling guilty and hurt once again, tried hard to stop the tear that wanted to escape her.
The changeling soon arrived at the tower and all he wanted to do was prepare for the evening which was in just a few hours. So he quickly hurried through the hallways when he bumped into Starfire.
“Oh. Apologies, Beast Boy. I did not see where I was going,” she apologized and the changeling waved a hand at her.
“No worries. I guess I’m a pretty short guy,” he chuckled and Starfire smiled at him.
“It seems something good has happened to you. You normally do not smile at your short statue when someone does the pointing it out,” she remarked and he scoffed.
“I’m short. So what? I can still turn into giant dinos. No big deal,” he grinned. Yes, normally he’d be angry at being short. But since he can morph into things not even Cyborg could surpass (or beat), he didn’t let it get to him. He moved past her. “I gotta take care of something. See ya later,” he told her before reaching the door of his room.
That’s when Robin came up behind him.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked and the other furrowed his brows at him.
“Huh? What do you mean? I’m good.”
The leader looked him up and down for a moment and the changeling raised a confused brow. Why was he being inspected like he was an experiment?
“What’s wrong?” the changeling asked.
“Nothing. I guess you needed some alone time,” he smiled and the changeling smiled back.
Yeah, that…and Terra’s approval.
“But…if there’s ever anything bothering you, you can come talking to us, you know?” Robin said slowly and the changeling looked in surprise at him before slowly, the smile returned.
“Sure. But I’m good. Really,” he said and the leader gave a nod at him. “I just gotta take care of something. But thanks for letting me know,” he said before he took a step closer to his room, making the doors swish open.
Robin watched him go inside before the doors closed and he slowly turned away. Hopefully, it was as he said. But he didn’t get very far since he met Raven on his way to his own room.
“Beast Boy. He said he was fine and he really seemed to be fine too.”
Raven’s gaze went to the hallway. “I hope he wasn’t just dismissing you. He had been on an emotional roller-coaster for the past days. I just hope it’s over. It…doesn’t do him good,” Raven said before Robin put a hand on her shoulder.
“I think he’s fine, Raven.”
The time seemed to drag on and even after taking a shower and trying to put himself in best shape, the changeling still had some time left until he had to set off. So he decided to play a little on the Gamestation.
And he surprised himself, seeing him fight through endless enemies with particular ease and even beat Cyborg’s high score! Could this day get any better?
He played some more until he his alarm rang, signaling him to leave. He quickly shut it off before rushing out of his room when he met Robin again.
“Where are you off to?” he asked with a surprised smile and the changeling scratched the back of his head.
“Uh…just wanting to hang out at the new game center today,” he lied and Robin thought for a moment.
“But what if something’s up? I mean, you need to be available.”
And the changeling rolled his eyes, having heard this line so many times now, it was beginning to get annoying. “Yeah, yeah. I’ve got it right here,” he said, showing him his communicator.
“And try to answer when we call you,” he added, making the changeling remember the last time he had met Terra – the girl that didn’t want to see him anymore.
“I know. I’ll pick it up when I get a call,” he said a bit irritated before rushing past his leader…and Robin was wondering if Beast Boy really felt as good as he seemed just a few seconds ago.
It didn’t take him long until he came up at Ben’s and he quickly walked inside. But Terra wasn’t there and he checked the time – he still had 5 minutes left until 7.
So he sat by the counter and waited for her. He decided not to order anything while he waited so he could leave some space for when Terra arrived.
But it seemed that he didn’t need to leave any space since even after 5 minutes, Terra didn’t seem to show up. Where was she? Was she stuck in traffic or something?
The changeling began to worry. Was she maybe in trouble? He glanced to the clock every minute or so and even after 10 minutes, she didn’t show up.
What was taking her so long?
And suddenly, he remembered her guilty expression and her unwillingness to even talk to him during their conversation earlier today. The anger was slowly manifesting in him.
He didn’t want to admit it but it seemed not unlikely. It really seemed that she didn’t want to see him anymore. But at the same time, he couldn’t just believe that!
She had seemed so happy around him before – what had he done to make her hate him this much?
He couldn’t find the answer and he felt the anger only increasing in him and his hands clenched to fists. What did he do wrong?
He was too absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice said girl slowly enter the diner.
And Terra stopped in her tracks, seeing the scowl and tense posture he held as he sat by the counter.
She had long decided whether or not to meet up with him once he left but ultimately, decided to meet up with him. She didn’t want cause him more heartache…and maybe this was a chance for her to tell him a proper goodbye.
She wanted to cut herself off from him – at least for some time.
But as she laid her eyes on his angered expression, she was beginning to second-guess her decision. What had happened to him? He seemed to be…not entirely himself today – like he was a changed person.
Slowly, she approached him. “Beast Boy?” she muttered slowly and it was as if he just woke up from a trance.
“Huh? Oh, hey, Terra,” he blurted out and the girl glanced away for a moment.
“Stop calling me that!” she told him in a low voice and his expression was one of disapproval. Why should he? Wasn’t that her name?
“Oh. Yeah. Sorry,” he chuckled before Terra sat on a stool next to him. And the cheery tone vanished with his next statement. “You’re late.”
“I was stuck in traffic,” she muttered, not liking the disappointed, (almost commanding) tone in his voice.
He didn’t comment on her statement and tried to put back some cheer in the atmosphere. “So…want to drink something first?” he asked with a grin. “It’s on me.”
“No. I’m not thirsty,” she muttered as she glanced at herself in the mirror. Was it her that caused him to be so…confused – angry? And just like at her first date, all she saw in the mirror was a liar again.
She was snapped out of her thoughts as she felt a gloved hand on her.
“You okay?” he asked a little concerned and Terra glanced at him a little confused. “You look much prettier with a smile on your face. I’ll promise we’ll have fun,” he smiled warmly at her and squeezed her hand to reassure her.
Maybe…she was thinking too much into him? Maybe she wasn’t the reason he was so off.
She glanced back at him. “I guess you’re right. I’m just…” she began before realizing that he still hadn’t removed his hand and it was getting a bit awkward. “…not sure. I’m just not sure you should spend time with someone like me.”
“I wouldn’t want to spend time with anyone else,” she heard him say and she felt the slightest amount of heat rush to her cheeks. Did…he still love her?
And then, the grip on her hand increased and she felt the pain from his almost vice-like grip and she tried to move her hand away.
He let her and Terra glanced at him in confusion.
And once again, Terra didn’t know if she should.
For @cyanwings A very belated (Happy Birthday) gift! :D