warnings: Fingering, Megumi is whipped for reader, reader is mentioned to have a cigarette but no writing of her smoking, Kissing, Fluff
summary: Megumi finds himself slightly more intrigued by Shokoâs new trainee on placement than he wants to admit
a/n: All characters are aged up to 18+
Megumi didnât like to make the biggest deal about anything.
Pain, inconvenience, exhaustion, heâd learned early on to treat them as background noise. Something to push through, and not dwell on.
But unfortunately, now that his leg had been struck hard enough by a grade three curse that had been labelled a simple mission, that it was almost becoming unbearable to walk on, he was finally forced to take it seriously.
Each step toward Shokoâs medic room was uneven as he dragged himself down the corridor.
His jaw was set and his expression was unreadable as always, It hurt more than he cared to admit, so he didnât.
He turned the corner.
And thatâs when he saw you.
You were leaning against the railing by the walkway, arms folded on top of it and your head resting quietly against them.
Megumi slowed, just slightly.
He didnât recognise you⊠or what he could see of you at the moment. Due to the sheer fact that there werenât many unfamiliar faces around the school. His eyes lingered on you for half a second longer, just trying to place you
But nothing.
Then, your head lifted from your arms, just a little at first, then fully as your gaze turned toward the sound of his steps.
Your eyes met his, and for a moment, neither of you did anything.
But he watched as you slowly smiled.
Megumi paused internally, and gave a small nod your way, but he didnât stop walking.
As he passed you, he caught the quiet sound of your sigh.
For a brief second, he almost turned back, and he almost asked the questions that were currently at the forefront of his mind
Who are you?
Where did you come from?
Why in gods name, are you sighing?
But he didnât. Instead, he continued forward, pushing open the door to Shokoâs room open without another glance at you.
The familiar scent of antiseptic and smoke greeted him immediately.
Shoko was seated as usual. A cigarette resting between her fingers as she stared up at the ceiling.
She looked up the moment he entered, and couldnât stop one of her brows lifting.
âWell,â she started with mild surprise, âitâs not every day I get so lucky as to see you here.â
Her eyes flicked over him quickly, âWhatâs wrong?â
Megumi didnât bother explaining, as he simply bent down and lifted the fabric of his trouser leg.
Shoko froze immediately as her eyes moved over the nasty injury, that was actually worse than it looked. It was bruising already and clearly hadnât stopped bleeding since it happened
Her expression sharpened instantly as she told him to sit down
âRight now, if you want any chance of me fixing that.â
Megumi didnât argue, instead he only nodded once, and moved quietly to sit down opposite her
Shokoâs gaze lingered on his leg as she grimaced from every angle he shifted it.
âMegumi,â she said, slightly casually âCan you give me one moment. I have a trainee here to learn from me, and if I donât call her in, it kind of defeats the whole purpose of her being here.â
Megumi barely reacted âYeah sureâ
Shoko gave a small hum of approval as she stood, making her way to the door.
She cracked it open just enough to lean her head out into the corridor.
She called your name, and despite megumi not even looking near the door, he didnât miss it.
He took quiet note of it, just incase he ever had to come face to face with you.
A few seconds later, the door opened wider, and you stepped in⊠looking different.
You carried yourself with more composure now, as if you were aware of your professionalism in this scenario now.
Your eyes flicked to him, before you smiled again.
âHi,â you said as you stepped a little closer to him, extending your hand. âThank you for letting me watchâ
Megumi looked at your hand with a blank expression for a moment
Then his gaze lifted back to your face.
âFushiguro Megumi.â
That was it.
Your hand lingered for half a second more before you withdrew it, nodding with your lips pressed together âRight.â
Shoko gestured for you to come closer, already moving back toward Megumi. âWatch carefully,â she instructed you âMaybe youâll see a tiny bit of emotion from Megumi if you look hard enoughâ
You stepped beside her, your attention also shifting to his leg as you let out a small laugh.
Megumi leaned back, letting Shoko work, maintaining his usual unreadable expression. But his eyes⊠his eyes flicked toward you once, just briefly.
You were watching closely as Shoko worked. Every movement she made, you were following.
Then his gaze shifted away again.
And was the first time Megumi saw you.
-
The training ground was mostly empty. In front of Megumi stood a punching post, worn slightly from repeated use, but still sturdy enough for him to use.
A bamboo staff rested firmly in his hands as he moved to attack it.
His staff cut through the air with sharp noises at each strike, stopping just short of the post before snapping back into position.
His leg had mostly healed in his opinion, despite Shokos strict advice to stay off it.
He shifted his stance again, tightening his grip, before he moved-
An even faster motion this time
He stepped forward as he drew the staff back again.
And thenâŠ
He saw movement out of the corner of his eye.
But his instincts reacted before thought could catch up and his strike landed almost completely
Abruptly- he paused
And the bamboo staff halted inches from impact.
You froze right in front of him, even close enough that, if he hadnât stopped, the staff would have hit you directly.
Your chest rose and fell quickly, breath uneven from running to make it into work on time today. Even his own breathing had shifted.
Megumi pulled the staff back immediately as he stared at you, slightly intimidating you
âAre you insane?â he scoffed as he let the staff drop to the ground. âI couldâve blown your head off.â
You blinked.
âOh,â you said slowly âWell Thankfully you didnât.â
He stared at you. That was it? No apology? No fear? Nothing?
ââŠWhat?â
You didnât seem fazed as your breathing started to steady again, your shoulders relaxing as you looked at him more properly.
âYouâre really good at that,â you added âEven though i heard Shoko strictly tell you you werenât allowed to do itâ
Megumi, for once, looked⊠completely thrown off.
You, on the other hand, seemed ready to move on like nothing had happened.
You stepped forward, angling slightly to slip past him, turning your body to begin running back to work
â-Hey.â
The word. left him before he could reconsider saying them, and he briefly closed his eyes for a second as he heard your footsteps pause.
You turned back toward him.
âYes?â
Megumi held your gaze for a moment, not even acting as if he was the one to call you
And thenâŠ
Whatever possessed his to do so passed, and his grip tightened as he bent to pick up the bamboo staff again, avoiding your eyes as he straightened.
ââŠNothing.â
You tilted your head, but didnât press him, far too concerned about getting your placement sheet signed.
You only nodded once, before turning again and continuing on your way.
without another thought, Megumi turned and walked toward a different section of the training grounds.
-
Nobara and Yuji absolutely loved dragging Megumi into situations without giving him an ounce of explanation, and somehow ones that always ended with him questioning every decision that had led to him agreeing in the first place.
Like now, how he was standing in the training grounds with his hands in his pockets, watching them argue in front of him.
Eventually, both of them turned to him at the same time.
ââŠwhat,â he said flatly, without even looking properly at them
Nobara immediately pointed at the track behind them.
âWeâre racing,â she announced. âYuji, seems to think that in a life or death situation, he could leave me for dead as iâm not fast enoughâ
Yuji nodded enthusiastically beside her, bouncing slightly on his heels. âYeah i do, and what? Megumi you have to judge it.â
Megumi finally lifted his gaze, taking in both of them, and there was a long pause where he considered refusing, walking away, or simply standing there until they forgot what they were doing, but all three options led to the same outcome of them continuing to talk until he gave in anyway, so he exhaled through his nose and lifted a hand slightly.
ââŠready.â
Both of them took place beside him and leaned forward immediately.
âset.â
âgo.â
Yuji launched forward and Nobara followed right beside him, shouting something about cheating within the first three seconds of the race.
Megumi watched them go for exactly two seconds before deciding that he had already fulfilled his role, turning towards the stands
He climbed the steps of the stands and lowered himself onto one of the benches near the middle, immediately dropping his face into his hands as soon as he sat down.
For a few seconds, there was nothing except the faint wind moving across the grounds, and yuji and nobara shouting as they ran further away.
But when the silence fully settled for a moment, thatâs when he heard it.
A low voice saying âItâs okay, donât worry.â
It was closer to him than he could hear and Megumi lifted his head immediately.
The sound had come from somewhere near the edge of the stands, for a moment he stayed seated, listening carefully, before slowly standing up as his attention focused on the direction the voice had come from.
Stepping down from the stands, he followed down in silence.
he moved into a quieter section of the training grounds where the lighting was dimmer and the sound of Yuji and Nobara had fully disappeared.
And then he saw you.
You were crouched near the ground partially tucked away from view, your posture was low and focused, a cigarette was discarded beside you in the grass and forgotten entirely, while in front of you a small bird sat unusually still, its body resting carefully against your thighs, and your hands hovered just above it as you worked, the faint trace of cursed energy in the air.
Megumi stopped a few steps away and decided against speaking.
His gaze shifted from the bird to your hands and back to the bird again.
Then you spoke again, still not looking up.
âHow did you get hurt again?â The bird shifted slightly, and your hands adjusted in response, and it was only after that, that Megumi almost laughed at you, before embarrassingly realising you were likely speaking to the bird and not to him.
He stepped slightly closer, and thatâs when you finally looked up.
Your focus broke the moment your eyes met his, with an evident look of surprise flashing across your expression as your hands paused mid-motion.
You froze for a moment at seeing him there,
âYou startled me.â
Megumi blinked once, then slightly shifted his gaze away ââŠsorry,â he said, flatly
You shook your head immediately, adjusting your hands around the bird against your lap.
âItâs okay,â you replied, as you smiled at him.
Just a small one.
And something in his chest tightened almost painfully so, his brows faintly drawing together.
You tilted your head slightly toward him
âCan you come here?â
Then you added, a little quieter âplease.â
He exhaled silently, and stepped forward.
He crouched down beside you, and as he lowered himself, he briefly closed his eyes for half a second without meaning to, caught off guard by the faint feeling that hit him from being next to you again.
âIâve done what I could so far,â you said, back in that focused tone, ânow I just need to see if it can fly again.â
Megumi glanced at the bird
ââŠokay,â he said after a moment, âwhat do I need to do?â
âJust hold your hands out.â
His brows furrowed slightly, but he didnât argue. Instead he just lifted his hands in front of him, palms open as he was watching you carefully, and then you scooted slightly away from him
âdonât move.â you said softly as megumi nodded once
The bird shifted slightly again as you adjusted your grip, and you counted under your breath âone⊠two⊠threeâŠâ
And then you gently pushed the bird upward.
Megumiâs hands lifted slightly on instinct, shifting closer without thinking, and you did the same, both of you subtly moving in unison, ensuring that it wonât fall, both your eyes tracking the movement upward as the bird flapped its wings and catching itself against the air.
And then it flew.
It rose above the ground before steadying itself midair, its wings beating a little faster.
Then the tension in your shoulders released, and you let out a soft sigh, watching the direction it went.
Megumi turned his head slightly and looked at you.
You were still watching the bird with a small smile on your face until it was gone from sight, and his expression shifted before he could stop it, the faintest smile found its way onto his lips
Then you turned back toward him⊠and caught it immediately
To which, he quickly returned to his default expression
âI saw that,â you said, still smiling, âyouâre not as sly as you think you are.â
Megumi blinked once, ââŠI donât know what you mean.â
You let out another soft laugh, shaking your head slightly as you adjusted your position in the grass. âItâs okay, tough guy, I wonât tell anyone youâve got a cute smile.â
The last thing you heard in the quiet was a small scoff that came from him.
Then footsteps broke through, followed by heavy breathing, and then Yuji and Nobara came into view from the direction of the track, both of them bent slightly forward as they tried to catch their breath,
Yuji wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand while Nobara gasped loudly
âOkay-â Yuji gasped as he finally noticed the scene in front of him, eyes darting between you and Megumi sitting close together on the ground, â-why are you two just sitting here like that? And why werenât you judging our race?â
Nobara followed his gaze a second later, as she also took in your positions.
Then Yuji pointed at you lightly âMegumi, you never introduced us to your friend.â
That made Megumi pause.
You, on the other hand, pushed yourself up from your ground and begun brushing the grass off your legs as you stepped forward.
You smiled again, and extended your hand first to Yuji.
âHi,â you said simply, âIâm Y/n. Iâve been training with Shoko.â
Yujiâs face lit up instantly âOhhh, that makes sense! Shokoâs awesome, she never tells us anything though, how did we not know about you.â
He shook your hand enthusiastically, while Nobara immediately stepped in next, taking your hand.
âIâm Nobara,â she said, then immediately added, âwhy has Megumi been gatekeeping you for so long? Youâre so pretty.â
Megumi, still sitting where he was, blinked slowly.
All three of you turned to look at him at the same time at the mention, and for a moment he just stared back at the three of you, before something shifted in his face, the faintest upward movement at the corner of his mouth.
ââŠIâm going to bed.â
He stood up quickly brushing his hands lightly against his trousers and stepping past all three of you.
And as he walked, he glanced over his shoulder once.
Just briefly at you.
-
Megumi didnât love training, as much as he acted like he did, and sparring with Yuji rarely helped that fact, because Yuji fought⊠messily, and even now as they were moving across the training ground there was that same unexpected fight he always gave.
Yuji came in fast again, forcing Megumi to pivot and block him, the force of it pushing him back a step before he reset his stance, and there was a brief exchange of blows that ended with both of them pulling away at the same time, the space between them widening just enough for Yuji to lift his hands slightly in surrender.
âMegumi,â he said, exhaling, âIâm going to end here.â
Megumi didnât argue, he just lowered his guard, watching as Yuji stretched his shoulders before glancing over toward the stands.
âGet Nobara to fight you,â Yuji added, jerking his thumb in that direction âIâm hungry, and itâs a saturdayâ
Nobara was sprawled across the benches, one leg stretched out while the other hung lazily off the side. âNo, thank you,â she said âIâm not feeling it today.â
Yuji rolled his eyes. âOf course youâre not.â
âWhatâs that meant to mean loserâ
Megumi scoffed at them, and quickly walked back to the centre of the circle, ready to pick up his water bottle, when another voice cut in.
âIâll fight you.â
All three of them turned
You were walking toward them, a jacket slung casually in your hand as you waved at them all with the other.
And then, just as you reached them, you tilted your head slightly, ââŠIâm joking.â
Yuji let out a laugh âNo way you were actually considering it, Megumi,â he said, glancing between the two of you.
âI wasnâtâ he grumbled, continuing to grab his bottle
Nobara laughed too, shaking her head as she pushed herself up from the stands.
You lifted the jacket in your hand and turned toward Nobara.
âNobara, you left your jacket with Shoko last week.â
Her eyes lit up instantly. âOh my God, I thought I lost that,â she said, hopping down from the stands and walking over to you without hesitation, taking it from your hands with a nod as she checked it quickly. âYouâre actually a lifesaver.
You smiled lightly, and behind her, Yuji stretched again. âWeâre going out,â
âItâs Saturday, which Megumi seems to have forgotten,â Nobara added, slipping her jacket on.
Megumi glanced at them briefly, clearly uninterested
Yuji looked at you next. âWanna come?â
You let out a small laugh, shaking your head.âNo, I canât unfortunately, Iâve got some things I have to take care of for Shokoâ
âBoring,â Nobara sighed, grabbing the last of her things from the stands and then waving to both you and Megumi.
Then they turned and started walking off together, already talking about where they were going and what they were doing.
Leaving you and Megumi standing there.
Megumi didnât say anything else after Yuji and Nobara left, he just turned back toward the training ground, and within a few steps he had already picked up where he left off, repositioning himself, ready to do whatever he could.
You stayed where you were for a moment, watching him.
âShow me how to do that thing.â
Megumi didnât stop moving, but his attention shifted over to you with a faint crease in his brows.
âWhat.â
You stepped a little closer, gesturing to him
âThe thing I saw you do to Yuji,â you said,âwhen you pinned him to the ground with your knees on his arms.â
âI donât have time.â
You raised a brow at that, folding your arms as you tilted your head.
âSurely you can find time on a day where you shockingly have nothing to do.â
That made him pause as he looked back at you, eyes narrowing a fraction. âYou wonât be able to pick it up.â
You shrugged your cardigan off your shoulders, tossing it aside without much thought as you stepped onto the mat properly.
âWell letâs see.â
There was a brief silence before Megumi sighed.
ââŠokay.â
He stepped forward, turning to face you, and he moved to demonstrate, lowering himself as he began to explain the positioning, his hands gestured to your legs as he bent down to show you the first step-
-and you swept his legs out from under him.
Megumi hit the ground before he could fully react, his back meeting the mat as you followed through immediately, pinning his arms down with your hands.
There was a beat as Megumi blinked up at you.
ââŠyou just missed every possible step.â
âArenât you meant to surprise someone?â you tilted your head
âYes but didnât you want to end up with your knees on my arms?â
You nodded. âYeah.â
âThen do it,â he said softly âyouâve got me pinned down now with your hands, so switch between your knees.â
You narrowed your eyes slightly
You shifted your weight, lifting your hands carefully as you prepared to reposition-
-and in the space of that movement, everything flipped.
Literally.
Megumi moved fast.
And your balance broke instantly as he used the opening to reverse the position, his weight shifting and turning in one motion until suddenly you were the one on your back, your arms pinned beneath him as he held you down.
There was a pause before you laughed
And for a split second, Megumiâs expression shifted too.
A small smile that was almost barely there
But there nonetheless
âSurprise, no?â
You let out another breath of laughter, shaking your head slightly against the mat.
âOkay,â you said, still smiling, âI tap out.â
He released you immediately, pushing himself back and sitting up without hesitation, and you followed a second later, sitting up beside him.
There was a brief quiet between you before you spoke again.
âHow about you keep me company today.â
Megumi glanced at you.
âThere really is nothing to do today,â you continued, âand Iâm sure you have a lot less to do than youâre making out, so why donât you stay with me today.â
He didnât answer immediately, and for once, he actually thought about it.
ThenâŠ
âNo.â he sighed out as he shook his head once.
You nodded slowly, lips pressing together as usual, and without pushing it any further, again as usual, you stood up, brushing yourself off as you turned to leave toward the edge of the mat.
You were almost off it whenâŠ
âFine.â
You stopped and turned back.
And there he was, already pushing himself up to his feet, and walking toward you.
You broke into a wide smile, and he didnât look away as he came to stand beside you.
After that, it stopped being a one-off thing.
It happened, slowly at first, then more often, until it became something you both stopped questioning, and what surprised him more than anything wasnât that you kept showing up, but that he kept letting you stay, because Megumi wasnât someone who made space easily for people.
He warmed up to you faster than he would ever admit, even though that warming was subtle, it was still there.
Saturdays became something more consistent, then Sundays followed, and then every time he had a free moment, he found himself back where you were.
He would never say it out loud.
But he had grown fond of you.
He didnât realise it until he started noticing stupid things, like the way his eyes lingered just a second longer when you were talking, or even when you werenât, the way he noticed things without even meaning to, like the shape of your smile when you laughed at something, the way your eyes softened when you focused on something, the way your hair fell when you leaned forward, and especially the sound of your laugh when it caught him off guard.
But still, he dismissed it, and chalked it up to nothing important because that was easier.
Yuji and Nobara even noticed it far more than he thought they did. Then again, it wasnt hard to notice something new with megumi due to the sheer fact of how little there was to notice.
They noticed the way he disappeared more often, the way he wasnât around, and the way his answers were shorter whenever they asked where heâd been, until eventually it turned into something they couldnât ignore.
âYouâve been spending a lot of time with y/n,â Nobara said one day, arms crossed as she looked at him with narrowed eyes.
Yuji nodded beside her, as he stretched his arms to the side âLike, a lot.â
Megumi didnât react much, half expecting the time this ambush would come to him
âSheâs nice to talk to,â he said simply.
That was the answer he prepared himself to say over and over again.
To Gojo
To Shoko
To the second years
To his friends
And most of all, to himself.
âYouâd never say that about us.â Yuji said genuinely offended.
-
It was a normal Saturday, and Megumi found himself walking toward your room with the same expectation he had built over time from you, that he would find you there doing something small while he stood or sat nearby.
He already knew what he expected to see today.
You sitting cross-legged on the floor or leaning over your desk, your hands moving through whatever you were working on, with your focus half on what you were doing and half on whatever you were saying, and he had grown used to the sound of your voice.
He walked down the steps slowly.
And then he saw youâŠ
You were sitting down, just like he expected.
But everything else was wrong.
Your hands werenât moving across your desk or through scattered items or adjusting anything into place, they were still, or rather, they were inside a box in front of you, your posture slightly slumped, and that made him slow down without meaning to, his brows drawing together as he stepped closer.
ââŠhi,â he said, quieter than usual.
You looked up immediately.
And smiled.
The same smile he had grown used to seeing.
âHey,â you replied.
Megumi stepped closer, eyes flicking briefly to the box, then back to you.
âWhatâs going on.â
You didnât hesitate. âMegumi, Iâm packing.â
âWhat do you mean packing.
You held his eyes for a second longer, and when you smiled again, it was different.
âMegumi,â you said gently, âlast week was my last of my placement hereâ
Then you added softly , âI told you this.â
He nodded. âYeah, yeah, I remember.â
But he didnât⊠because he would damn well remember if you told him something stupid like that.
But the moment he said it, something in him shifted as he tried to recall when you had said those words, what moment, what conversation, what expression you had when you told him, but every time he tried to think back, it blurred, because instead of remembering what you had said, all he could think about was you, and the way he had been watching you instead of listening, to you.
He just stood there as you shrugged, looking back down at the box as your hands moved again as you adjusted something inside it.
âWell, anyway,â you sighed âit was a good placement. I learnt a lot. Iâll have a lot to reflect on.â
Megumi barely registered your words. Because he had started walking toward you.
Not even fully aware of it at first, just closing the distance slowly as you kept talking, when you looked up again, he was closer, close enough that you completely forgot what you were even saying.
You watched him hesitate with something for a second
Then he finally said, âIs that all you enjoyed.â
ââŠwhat?â
âLearning.â
The way he said it was quieter, but all in all completely less flat and blunt than his usual words.
You furrowed your brows, noticing the way he briefly closed his eyes after speaking.
âWell,â you said slowly, âwhat else?â
He let out a small breath that almost passed as a laugh.
âWhat about me.â
You stopped moving your hands entirely as you looked at him properly now.
and something in his expression tightened, just slightly
He swallowed, like he was about to say something else, but he just it stopped there, and nodded once.
ââŠlikewise.â
And then he turned away.
Just like that.
You watched him for a second⊠feeling an unexplained anger towards him
then reached out and grabbed his arm.
Your fingers closed around his arm before he could take another step, the movement thankfully enough to stop him, and he paused for a split second before turning back to you.
âStop doing that,â you said quietly
âDoing what.â he drew his brows together slightly
âWalking away from me when youâre about to say somethingâ
âI donât need to say anything,â he replied.
You nodded once.
âYeah, youâre right,â you said, finally releasing his arm, âyou donât need to.â
He didnât move yet.
âBut you want to,â you added, holding his eyes, âand I want you to.â
He exhaled quietly, then turned fully towards you again, closing the distance he had just created as he walked toward where you stood.
When he stopped in front of you again, there was no hesitation left in his tone. âYoure my favourite part of the week,â
You breathed in slightly at that.
Then his gaze flicked briefly to the box behind you.
âWhatâs in your box.â
You followed his eyes over to the white box, with your name written on the top in black marker.
âOnly a few lab coats, and my papers.â
That was all you managed before he reached out and pushed it.
The box tipped instantly, falling off the desk and hitting the ground as everything inside it spilled out across the floor, and you stared at it for a second in complete silence.
Megumi didnât look at the mess.
He just looked at you.
âYouâre staying.â
You shook your head slightly as you stepped back just a bit. âMegumi, I canât.â
âWhy.â
âBecause⊠itâs not allowed,â you said, a small, almost helpless laugh slipping through.
âSo what.â
You laughed again, softer this time, like he wasnât being serious⊠but it didnât sound like a joke after all while as you watched megumi step closer to you.
Close enough now that the space between you disappeared entirely.
Your smile faded slowly as you realised he wasnât stopping..,
And then he leaned down, to kiss you.
The kiss was just like him, gentle. His hand came up to cup your face, his other hand wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer.
His lips were soft against yours, moving with a slow, rhythm, completely unrushed.
Your eyes fluttered shut as his fingers tangled in your hair, holding you in place as he deepened the kiss.
He pulled back slightly, breathing unevenly as he stared down at you tightening his grip on your waist unconsciously.
"...We shouldn't." you whispered but he didnât move away, or let go of you either.
His eyes searched your face, like he was trying to find something there, something real. When he didn't find it, he let out a low curse.
âIf you want to tell me to stop, i willâ he breathed out, his hand coming up to brush a thumb across your cheek, dropping his eyes to your mouth.
You nodded with every intention to tell him to stop, and that it was wrong and not allowed. But the words that came out didnât reflect that at all âDonâtâ
His breathing turned ragged at your words, and you watched as his chest rose and fell.
"Do you think iâm a bad idea." He murmured, leaning in to kiss along your jaw, breath hitching as he felt your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer.
"Yes" You said simply, gasping as he begun nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin of your neck.
"You shouldâve never asked me to keep you company" He murmured against your throat.
He pressed you up against the wall as his hands found your hips, pinning you there before moving upwards to slide under the bottom of your shirt.
His mouth moved to your collarbone, causing your breath to hitch at the feel of his hands on your skin, tracing slow, lazy circles over your hip.
He bit lightly at your shoulder, teeth scraping against the sensitive skin.
"You shouldnât have came."
Megumi exhaled sharply through his nose and hid hands slid further up your sides, his fingers pressing into your ribs like he was mapping out every breath you took.
"Yeah⊠i shouldnât have" His voice was dangerously quiet now.
His hands slid down to your waist, gripping hard as he spun you around and pressed you face-first against the wall. The sudden shift making your breath hitch again.
His body was completely against yours now, his chest flush with your back, and his hips trapping you in place.
You could feel his breath at your ear, making you arch your back slightly against him, your hips pressing into him, feeling him against your thigh.
He sucked in a sharp breath at the contact, tugging you even closer against him.
"You want me to touch you?" He murmured in your ear, watching as you just nodded.
His hand moved lower, sliding up your inner thigh.
"Tell me that you want me to touch you"
You bit my lip, as if that was the best option to keep your breathing steady
"Please." You breathed out âTouch meâ
He smirked at that, his hand still tracing along your thigh, his touch just barely grazing where you wanted it most.
He let out a deep breath, finally dragging his hand up to drag the pad of his thumb agonizingly slow over where you ached for him.
His breath hitched as his fingers slid beneath your skirt to find you wet.
"Youâve wanted me just as much as iâve wanted you" He murmured, dragging a single finger through your folds just to hear you gasp.
His other hand gripped your hip hard enough to bruise, keeping you pinned against him as he teased you with slow circles of his finger, not giving you nearly enough pressure yet.
His fingertip pressed in just slightly, enough to make your back arch and wring a desperate sound from your throat, and he finally increased his pressure against your clit.
"There?" he asked, adding a second finger without warning and curling them inside you
Your nails dug back into his shoulders as he watched every twitch of pleasure on your face with satisfaction.
âThereâ you breathed out
He groaned, as he pressed his lips against your skin before beginning to leave small kisses along your neck.
Megumiâs thumb continued to press down on your clit as he still curled his fingers inside you.
He felt you clench around him. His own hips jerking forward involuntarily at the sensation.
"Youâre so perfect."
"Megumi iâm close." You sighed out, almost breathless as he started stroking harder, like he was desperate to make you come undone.
Your entire body felt locked up, your back arching, as a sharp cry tore from your throat. Your thighs clamped around his hand helplessly as the orgasm ripped through you in waves.
Megumi watched at the way you shook apart for him, the way, your eyes glossed over at how he kept stroking you at the oversensitivity.
"Fuck," he breathed, "You really are perfectâ
He slowly pulled away, breathing almost as labored as yours.
He let his hand slide up underneath your chin, tilting your head to look at him, your lips just a few inches apart.
"Are you okay?" he asked. rubbing his thumb gently across your bottom lip, his eyes roaming over your face.
Before he could even finish speaking, you surged up and kissed him, deeper and messier than the first time, your fingers tangling in his hair.
Then you slid your hand down between you both, pressing firmly against the obvious bulge in his pants.
Megumiâs breath hitched as he grabbed your wrist mid-motion.
"You donât get to do that yet.â His voice was dangerously quiet.
"So i guess youâre going to have to stayâ He smirked, his gaze burning into yours.
đđđ đđ đđđđđđđđ jean x f!reader
Ëàšà§â. jean and his bsf w ocd
a/n: lwk sloppy sry guys
warnings: ocd, sh
Having people to love must be a burden for you.
Jean tries not to think of it but he does. Everytime he catches you pacing back and forth till 2am. Everytime he wakes up to the sound of you whimpering, cold hands and sticky hair on your forehead. Everytime you turn the lights on and off and on and off and on and off before you go to bed.
Everytime your compulsive thoughts take over you till youâre not a girl anymore, just a shadow.
"Give it to me." Jean takes the knife out of your hands as you're cutting an orange into slices. For him. For you. It's not a question, it's not a request, either. It's a demand where he grabs onto your hand simply pries it away from your grasp.
"Tch, Jeanâ" your annoyance is evident in the way you frown at him hard. "Give it back!" Jeanâs arm shoots up in the air with the knife and so does yours. The expression on his face isn't the usual. There's no smirk, nor any evidence of casual indifference, just a calm and collected look a concerned father might have. He's not teasing. At all.
"No, Y/n." He mutters. "Please." and it's enough to soften you and let him do whatever the hell he wants. Your arm falls back to your side, you rest your temple over his bicep, curling your hand around it as you watch him slice the orange into uneven pieces. He will save the big ones for you, you know that.
"I'm not a baby, you know." you mumble. And he thinks you sound like a child whining about how grown up they've gotten. "You don't have to look after me all the time."
He tries not to think of the time where you burned the tips of your fingers trying to hold onto a pan. He tries not to think of how you hurt your other hand to just to make it even.
"I know." he smiles like he's trying to hide it from you. "But you know what I see when I look at you?"
Jean thinks back to the time where you were too young to make sense of your condition.
"I get these stupid thoughts sometimes." Turn the page to the age of eleven. Not quiet kids, not quiet teens. Two of them kicking their feet on the wooden bench parked near an icecream stall. Asphalt so hot that it melts your soles off.
"Because you are stupid." You've both got your hands busy, licking Popsicles that threaten to melt off of your hands. The sun around is so bright that it burns into your eyelids and you're too tired to put up a fight.
"They tell me to do things." you lick your barely there popsicle, the taste of cherry and cold numbing the heat in your mouth. "And if I don't do themâ" you take another lick. "Something bad will happen, to mom, to dad, to Sasha, even you."
"Heyâleave me out of it."
"I can't." your answer is simple and clear. You stare ahead, watching people move, other children laugh under the shade of rain trees. You wonder how their minds feel without the constant or mercurial high of thoughts rising and falling all around them.
Jean leans back on the wooden bench, trying to pretend he isn't hearing what you're saying at all. Because he doesn't know what to do at times like these. At times where you're both not trying to get on each otherâs nerves.
"Because I'm scared." You think of how brainless it is of you to be a slave of your own mind. You think of your grades sprawled across the teacher's table and your motherâs booming voice calling you lazy and thick-headed. You think maybe you are this way because of you were never smart. Like your older sister. Like Jean.
"Thatâthat everyone will be gone." Think too hard and tears will gather in your eyes. Like they always do when you think. Think, think, thinkâ that's all you do.
Your hands start to shake and your popsicle drops on the pavement, your pink sneakers tainted red, your face drenched with tears before you even realise it but your voice remains steady. "And-and it'll all be my fault..."
"Hey! what the hell are you doing?" Jean cringes at the splattered red on your sneakers. And then looks over to you. You're crying. This might be his first time seeing you cry. "Hey, Y/nâ" he reaches out one hand to place on your shoulder, leaning in to see your face better as it hangs low.
"I'm sorry, I can't leave you out of itâ" because i love you. Because my mind is a scramble of thoughts. Jean starts to panic, his hands hovering all around, hesitant to touch your shoulder or even speakâ what was he supposed to do? When all the both of you did was bicker and side eye each other all the time or share one or two jokes in class. Jean looks around, trying to come up with something to make a girl stop crying.
"These thoughts that you talk aboutâ" Jean sees the way you're now curling into yourself, hunching down and covering your face. "Are they acting up right now?"
"They act up all the time." you hiccup through your palms. "And what are they telling you to do right now?" he asks, panic high in his voice. "That I have to buy another popsicle even though I dont have any money left and sprint home and kick my feet ten times andâ"
"Fine." Jean sighs, he wonders if it's just an excuse for a free popsicle. Maybe it is, but he just wants you to stop crying.
"I don't have any money left." you manage. "I'll get you one, only if you buy me one next time."
"Two, I'll buy you two, so please."
I'd buy you ten more if you asked me to but I only have four dollars with me right now. I'm sorry, I wish your mind was a quieter place.
Turn the page to the present. You're now an eighteen year old with the same bestfriend she had ever since she was eleven. You hate repetition, familiarity of your compulsions and routine and mundane tasks you have to do everyday. Jean is the only constant you donât mind.
"Say ahhâ" He pops one of the slice in your mouth. "You didn't answer me, Jean."
"It's nothing." he starts gathering the slices in a plate. "Stay in suspense, forever."
"You have to tell meâ or else." you frown at him, your hand still curled around his arm. "Or else?" he smiles at you, it's kind of warm.
"Stupid thoughts acting up again?" you angrily chew on the orange slice before gulping it down, your frown perpetually plastered over your face. "They're pretty quiet right now."
Have you ever told him before? That when he smiles your world quiets down. That you donât care about the stray hair sticking out of his head or the eyelash on his cheek or his lopsided grin. You only care that he's beautiful. And beautiful things have always saved you, classical music, drawing under the sun in your balcony or his habit of always getting on your nerve has always eased the chatter in your head.
Before you can give time for any thought to surface, you tug on his hoodie, causing him to lurch forward, so harsh that his nose almost collides with yoursâ but the both of your lips align in such a way that it's so soft, so warm. It tastes like longing and citrus. Short and sweet. Awkward and naive like teenagers are while sharing their first kiss.
You'd always thought of maybe, you'd kiss the person multiple times when you had your first kiss. So why was your mind so noiseless right now? But when you pulled away, Jeanâs mind was definitely not.
His face is red, his hands are still, his eyes are wide. He is caught off-guard and so, so in love. He shoves another slice of orange into your mouth as you grin wide at him. "Hold onâ" he sputters. "Was thisâ"
"I did it because I wanted to."
"Then I guess...I love you...too?" he gives you a nervous smile, looking everywhere but at you.
You chuckle. "I love you too." you said it once but you meant it a thousand times.
You inch closer, lacing your hands with his, "You're the only chaos that doesn't make me spiral. " You smiled at him like the weight of your disorder flew away all at once. But it'd be back again, when your medication will switch, when it's time to go bed and you didnât repeat whatever random word one twenty times. When it's morning and you failed to take twenty four steps to the kitchen. Atleast right now, it is quite, atleast right now you're not crying like you were last night. Atleast right now, you're smiling.
When I look at you...I still see the girl who stopped crying and smiled when I got her a popsicle.
if anyone wants to read my current ongoing viscount jean kirstein x dukes niece bridgerton!au story i have currently released on wattpad (@hibi5cus), here is a short excerpt đ«Š (this scene was heavily inspired from that one daphne and simon scene)
He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling through his nose âThis,â he began carefully, glancing once at the statue before looking back at you, âis a depiction ofâŠâ he then looked up, as if figuring how to better explain it in your terms âa husband and wife.â
âMarried people sit near one another all the time. and it doesnât look likeâŠâ You gestured vaguely beside you, refusing to look again. ââŠthat.â
His mouth twitched as he tried to conceal his smirk âIt is not sitting,â
Silence stretched between you, and he stepped slightly closer, lowering his voice further âWhen two people are enamoured by one another,â he said slowly, âthere are⊠private acts expected of them.â
âPrivate acts,â you repeated trying to make sense of what he was saying
âYes.â
Your throat felt dry. âAnd they⊠stand like that?â
A faint, almost disbelieving breath escaped him âNo.â
âThen whatâŠâ you trailed off
when he looked at you after a moment of hesitation, the amusement in his face was gone entirely
âYour mother truly did not teach youâ he said, more to himself than to you as you looked as if you were just about registering his words
âNo place to speak of such thingsâ you scoffed âNot even am i allowed to read up on itâ
He spoke more carefully âIt is⊠a certain closeness,â he said. âThe sort that is not for public conversation. It is meant to be private between a husband and wife.â
You nodded, understanding very little with the prior knowledge you had on the matter
âwhat is the pointâ you asked him
âIt is meant to be a build upâ he explained thoughtfully
âa build up to what?â you asked again, tilting your head
âAâŠâ he looked up again âa build up until It⊠intensifies.â
âIntensifies?â you repeated taking in a breath
âThere is a point,â he nodded as he continued âwhere the closeness becomes overwhelming and where everything begins to unravel, and then-â
He stopped suddenly, and you feared he might have heard your heart beating
His gaze flickered to your lips before he seemed to catch himself
âAnd then it reaches the sensation,â he said quietly
you innocently held his gaze which made him furrow his brows as he studied your expression
You were watching him with wide eyes, completely unguarded
âYou do not know what sensation I am talking about,â he said slowly, earning a small head shake from you
âyou do notâŠâ he trailed off for a second and you begun to chuckle slowly
âi do not whatâ you asked with narrowed eyes and a smile on your face
âyou do not-â his breath caught as he looked around briefly to ensure it was only you he was talking to ââŠease your restlessnessâ
your smile slowly faded as he walked even closer to you to whisper even more carefully
âlike having a napâ you asked softly
he shook his head ânoâŠâ he looked at the rise and fall on your chest ââŠlike touching yourselfâ he then looked back up to you âyou do touch yourself right miss l/n?â
you stared up at him as he spoke, not gathering a reply
âYou are allowed to feel the sensation when you are aloneâŠâ he smirked âby touching yourselfâ
you still did not reply, instead you swallowed as you continued to listen
âtouch yourself to feel a sensation miss y/n⊠anywhere you feel you shouldâ he glanced down to your skirt ever so slightly âanywhere you feel you need to⊠or want toâ
you closed your lips
âThen you will feel what can only be described asâŠâ
Thinking about megumi fushiguro never being the type to make a big deal about anything, because as long as you know he loves you, he is more than content.
Megumi had this habit, this way of doing things that never looked like much but always meant everything.
He didnât say I love you the way other people did, he just⊠did.
Heâd hold your tea in the morning without being asked, slip you his jacket before you even realized you were cold, or quietly take the seat beside you when crowds got too loud. He was never loud about it, and he never expected praise from others.
âFushiguro that was so Gentleman of youâ
he didnât care what others thought of it, because he knew it meant more to you
So when Nobara raved about wanting to try that new sushi place downtown, and you had quickly agreed with a smile on your face, it was obvious heâd show up.
Yuji was already at the table waving maniacally, and you and Megumi slid into the seats across from them.
âFinally,â Nobara said, dramatic as ever. âYou two take forever.â
âYou ordered before we even got here, itâs not like you were dependant on our arrivalâ Megumi replied, deadpan, and she only grinned wider.
The food came quick, and conversation was spilling as it always did, Yuji was talking too loud towards you, Nobara was berating yuji about not knowing something, and Megumi occasionally cutting in. it was all normal
Until Megumi shifted beside you, pulling something out of his pocket.
He just said, âHere,â and placed a small velvet box next to your plate.
Yuji and Nobara froze mid-chew.
You blinked, a confused laugh slipping out. âWhat is itâ
He gave a tiny shrug, as if it were nothing. âJust something i saw. i thought youâd like it.â
You opened it, and inside, almost hiding against the dark fabric, was a beautiful ring.
âOh my god,â Nobara breathed. âMegumi.â
âwhatâ he said immediately, tone so dry it made Yuji choke on his drink.
âDude,â Yuji coughed, grinning. âwhy are you always so casualâ
You laughed quietly. âItâs really pretty, thank you megumi.â and you slipped it on your finger, it fit perfectly⊠of course it did
He didnât meet your eyes, gaze fixed on his food again. âit suits you â he smiled slightly
Yuji and Nobara exchanged a look, wide-eyed,
âFushiguro⊠is that itâ nobara breathed out, like she was expecting something else
âwhat else shall i doâ he asked, gaze lifting slightly towards you to see if it was bothering you as much as it was nobara
ânothingâ you said simply, offering him a sweet smile, turning the ends of his ears pink
âyou twoâ yuji said in between his soda pointing at you both âare one of the weirdest couples iâve ever seenâ
âbut theyâre also one of the happiestâ nobara shrugged going back for her chopsticks
Afterward, the four of you left, heading back to jujitsu high before gojo sent a load of messages questioning where his students had gone without him.
Nobara and Yuji darted ahead, bickering about dessert, and you stayed back linking your arms through Megumiâs.
âDo you wish iâd make more of a big deal about things?â he asked, breaking the comfortable silence
You smiled, eyes still on the ring. âYou couldnât pay me to.â
âIf you did itâs alright, i can trââ
You reached up, catching his sleeve gently, and before he could finish, leaned in to press a short kiss against his lips.
âDont change,â you murmured.
ââŠItâs just a ring,â he said quietly, avoiding your gaze
You smiled. âSure.â
And you sure as hell hoped, that megumi wouldnât change
twenty one since heâd walked out without so much as a glance, leaving you breathless and humiliated.
You still remembered the sound of his voice the words that left you still engraved in your mind âForgive me.â
As if forgiveness could ever be that simple.
Youâd tried to be done with him. You really had.
For gods sake, it hadnât even been that long since you first met him.
But he lingered in your mind
And that, more than anything, made you spiteful, this is exactly what you didnât want, something so insignificant on your mind
so you busied yourself, and everyday you continued to do this hours passed, long and heavy,
until, one day, the sound of carriage wheels outside snapped you from your brooding. You ignored it at first, assuming it was some mundane visitor, or a suitor for your sister. But curiosity caught you, and you walked to the window.
A young man, was stepping down from the carriage with a cream envelope held carefully in his hands.
The envelope had not just your name, but your whole familyâs. A single invitation, addressed to each of you.
The whitehalls art museum viewing, tomorrow night at 6pm
You frowned at it
âThatâs⊠grand,â your sister said, examining her own envelope with a small smile. âI think I will attend with someone,â she added casually, âa suitor Iâve grown particularly fond of.â
You raised an eyebrow at the remark, though you didnât press.
Your mother, however, couldnât resist a jab. She chuckled, tapping the envelope with a finger. âWell, I suppose you might like to go too, dear. Keep an eye on your sister, see how itâs done.â
You innocently scowled at her, âI do not need my younger sister to teach me how to behave,â you muttered
your mothers smile softened, but her eyes hardened. âI was only joking. But itâs not a half bad ideaâ
your gaze lifted to meet hers
âI am serious. You are going. I expect you there.â
Your stomach sank, but, you knew better than to protest further, you couldnât wait for your mother to calm it down after the season, you loved her, but she was too much sometimes.
âvery well,â you said, folding the envelope and tucking it away.
The next day came with a quiet sort of dread. the lowering sun spilled across the room, but it didnât warm anything inside you.
You stood in front of the mirror, adjusting your hair, trying to focus on the folds of the gown, the way the silk framed your collarbones. But every time your fingers brushed the back of your neck, something shifted in your chest and your mind
His hands. The weight of him pressing you against the bookshelves. His lips. The way heâd pulled back, jaw tight, eyes flicking to yours with plea and then away. Forgive me. That had been the last thing he said before walking out, leaving you alone, feeling everything
You swallowed hard, reminding yourself it was absurd to be thinking about it now. It had been weeks. You were supposed to be done, done with the thoughts, done with him.
But it wasnât done. Not in your head. Not in your chest
You pinched the bridge of your nose and forced your gaze back to your reflection.
Ready, you smoothed the fabric over your legs, trying to focus on the way the color caught the light
You exhaled sharply and ran your hands through your hair one last time.
dear god, please make this night go fast
The carriage ride to Whitehalls was quieter than you expected, though your mind refused to settle, jumping from one memory to another,
Every bump of the wheels against the cobblestones felt like a heartbeat echoing in your chest.
When the carriage finally stopped, you hesitated before stepping down. You smoothed your gown, forcing your shoulders back, though your stomach churned with nerves.
Inside, the hall was vast, bathed in golden lamplight. Portraits and sculptures lined the walls, witnesses to the evening.
You surveyed the room for a while, battling internal thoughts on whether or not youâd see him.
Youâd recently overheard from your mother and her group of gossiping hens that the reason the duke had been so present as of recent, was due to the fact that his father had called him home from his work overseas for the season to attend some family business.
That explains why you caught sight of him almost immediately.
Somehow, it felt funny that he was everywhere, but you couldnât say you were entirely surprised. Deep down, a small, stubborn part of you had known youâd see him tonight.
Your sister, in a soft blue gown, had already glided away with the suitor she fancied, laughter strayed behind her like a trail
With her gone, the hall felt suddenly wider, quieter, as if it were waiting just for you.
After a while of you surveying the beautiful art closest to the door, a young man approached you, bowing with his hand extended. âMiss, may I have the honor of escorting you?â
You hesitated for only a minute
you scolded yourself when your eyes briefly darted toward him, especially when he wasnât even looking at you, then nodded, slipping your hand into his.
The touch was polite, you could deal with it for a while, maybe youâd have something to tell your mother tonight, give her a bit of hope.
As he led you toward the center of the room, you again, stole another glance at him, closing your eyes in frustration again at letting yourself slip. He caught your eye for a brief second while you were passing him, and in that fraction of a moment, the air between you seemed to slow, but you forced yourself to look away and remember the walls youâd so carefully built, to protect yourself from feelings you didnât want to feel again.
You forced your eyes forward, toward the paintings, letting the colors and forms pull your attention.
Thankfully each canvas offered something to lose yourself in and time passed, or at least, you imagined it did. The murmurs of conversation around you blurred
You traced the faint contours of a countryside scene while the young man who had escorted you walked beside you for a while, pointing out details with annoying commentary.
You nodded and smiled in the appropriate moments, gosh your mother would be proud
After a polite discussion about a particularly intricate sculpture, the young man excused himself to âfetch a drink,â
As he drifted into the crowd, the conversation seemed to retreat with him and for the first time since you arrived, the room felt pleasant.
The guests began disperse from around you and you found yourself being drawn to a single canvas, one you had passed several times before without truly seeing it.
Heavy in nature, it was strange, a tangle of forms and muted colors that seemed alive.
You stood there, staring at the gorgeous spread of colours and figures, the longer you stared, the more you noticed.
then, you became aware of a presence.
Not behind you or across the room, but instead beside you.
Your heart slowed, but your gaze remained fixed on the painting. You refused to turn, refused to acknowledge whoever with your eyes and you forced your breathing to steady, gliding your fingers lightly along the folds of your gown.
He did not speak. He did not touch. He did not break the silence in any way. He simply stood there, silently.
You knew who it was.
You tried to focus on the painting again. The figures seemed almost mocking you now.
âWhat can you see?â
The words came, quiet, without breaking the silence of the room. You stiffened, debating internally whether to respond at all
You did not look. Not yet, instead, you drew in a deliberate breath, letting it fill your lungs and without letting your eyes betray anything.
âI seeâŠâ you said finally, âher struggle to maintain her own control, and the effort it takes to keep her emotions in check when everything about him threatens her.â
A pause followed, and you finally let it happen, you finally let your eyes turn towards him
âYou see the painting, but not him,â he said softly, âEvery part of him is at war, heâs locked in battle, because he fears what he might do if he let himself feel even an ounce of what he truly feels for her,â
He reached slightly, and you found yourself reaching too, fingertips skimming past each other with a grace you wanted to stop.
âhe cannot stop thinking of her, cannot stop wanting her, cannot even understand why she has taken hold of him so completely.â
Your fingertips finally grazed his, the brief contact sending heat through you, and yet your chest tightened, not with desire, but with frustration.
Anger at him, and yourself
âYou shouldnât be here,â you muttered, voice low, âAfter everything⊠I donât even know why you came.â
He didnât move, instead he stayed close, the faintest distance between you, his eyes tracing every movement of your expression. âI needed to,â he said quietly. âI canât⊠I canât leave it alone. Youâre in everything I think about, and I donât even understand why.â
You pinched the inside of your palm, begging your heart to stop racing. âI donât want to think about you. I donât want this,â you whispered, more to yourself than him
âAnd yet,â he murmured, stepping a fraction closer, âhere we are.â
Your fingers twitched toward his, almost involuntarily, brushing past his hand.
âStop looking at me like that,â you said pleading. âItâs mean.â
âI canât,â he spoke softly
you suddenly became aware of all the possible eyes around you
it seemed that he did as well because he grasped your hand a fraction tighter and gently guided you away toward a small cupboard behind a board of artwork.
You pressed your back against the shelves, and he instinctively followed
âI hate that youâve done this to meâŠâ you said quietly âagainâ
âI hate that I canât stop,â he whispered, leaning slightly closer, his lips brushing near your ear. âand i hate that I donât understand whyâ
âyou need to understand⊠please tryâ you couldnât even hear yourself anymore
his self control snapped at your plea and before your mind could protest, he leaned in.
Your lips collided, and your breath hitched. It wasnât slow, it was meaningful, as if every second of restraint had been unbearable.
You didnât pull back. Part of you wanted to, the part still angry, but another part, the part that had been aching all these weeks, had already forgotten.
His hands lingered at your waist, guiding you closer, your fingers brushing his chest.
âWhyâŠâ you whispered between kisses
âBecause I canât stop,â he murmured back. âAnd I donât want to.â
He pulled back slightly, his forehead leaning on yours and his breaths uneven. âTell me to stop. i beg of you, tell me to stop, you are still a lady.â
He searches your eyes, his own pleading.
âi wonâtâ
His eyes closed briefly at your words and he captured your lips again, deeper this time
His hands moved from your waist to tangle in your hair, holding you firmly against him and you could feel far too much of him through the fabric separating you. His kisses became more urgent as he leaned back effortlessly onto a desk behind him without breaking contact between your lips, angling you down until he pulled you onto his lap
"we must stopâ he whispered into your ear hoarsely
âNo, you wonât do this to me againâ you breathed out reconnecting your lips with his
âmy lady-â
âStop thatâ you hummed against him using his shoulders for support to move forward slightly, which pulled a low groan from his throat âthen you must promise to tell me when to stopâ he spoke with your face in his hands
You hurriedly nodded and brought his hands to your thighs making him firmly urge them apart over his lap. You heard his breath hitch and felt his hands tremble slightly while he pulled you higher onto his lap
âMy ladyâ he breathed out guiding your hips while he slowly pushed himself backwards
He shifted his weight carefully, guiding you down beneath him as he continued to rutt against you.
you could barely formulate a response as you felt an unfamiliar knot build up in your stomach ever so quickly
Your body arched up against his, your nails scoring through his shirt as waves of pleasure crashed over you. your legs shaking around his waist
Theodores body tensed and he pressed deeper, his body slowing his movements as he found his release quickly after with you. He held you close, his face buried in your neck as he whispered your name
He leaned down to kiss you softly, slower this time, memorizing the feel of you.
Your breath caught, with the sudden awareness of how close you really were.
His hands lingered lightly at your waist, careful,
You tilted your head slightly, letting the warmth of him settle and your fingers curl against his shirt,
âI think we should⊠maybe get out of here before someone starts asking questions,â he murmurs teasingly âi wouldnât let my lady answer to what we were doingâ
You let out a breathless laugh, brushing a strand of hair from your face. âbefore my mother decides to interrogate the entire hall about my whereabouts.â
He laughed, pressing a quick kiss to your temple. âShe would probably faintâ
You grin, rolling your eyes. âfaint from the scandal and then throw a party my lordâ
âSo⊠after this little⊠episode?â you say âare you planning on making sure Iâm stuck with you properly, or is this just another game?â
He pauses, his gaze softening, âProperly, my lady. I wouldnât play games with a woman like youâ
âMaybe my lordâŠâ you reply, letting a small smirk linger âmaybeâ before beginning to walk away
Before you can move much further, his hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you.
âcareful,â he says softly, eyes locking onto yours.
Then, without another word, he leans in and presses a kiss to your lips.
You part slightly, catching your breath, and he smiles, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
âNow,â he murmurs âshall we go backâ
You nod
âAnd I suppose I must go tell my father⊠that I wonât be returning to work for a while,â he adds
You raise an eyebrow. âBold of you, my lord.â
He smirks âYou havenât seen bold yet, just wait till youâre walking down an aisle in whiteâ
âmaybe we should spend a few more weeks getting to know each other firstâ you laughed
Came through to you acc through your latest post abt the holy trinity (tumblr, wattpad, chai) and then found out you write for the MARAUDERS and HARRY POTTER
Heyyyy i wanted to let you know that did you just recently change you username? Because i think so you did as now all of you link are under your old username @the0droe something , and now you have change all the links as they are not working-
Just wanted to let you know
Have a great day!
Oh my gosh yes i did! iâll get to this now, then hopefully youâll be able to access them, thank you for letting me know! x
Just wanted to let you know how much I LOVE the NottxBridgerton series!! Iâm so excited for more!!
I also love your writing in general, but this one is easily my favorite so far! <3
thank you so so much, i appreciate all the love with all my heart!!!
iâm working on part three, but i want it to be worth the wait so itâs taking a little while loool, also holidays almost over but trying to get it done asapppp
warnings: NSFW, suggestive language, fluff, kissing, hatred, kinda enemies to lovers, Pls guys, wrap it before you tap it. It kind of goes straight into it iykwim
words : 3.3k
A/N : Hey guys i hope youâre all okay, i donât think i like this one much but i hope itâs okay, iâve been working like a dog recently icl but hopefully this is still okay
Remus hated you
The way you stared at him and his friends as they walked past. The way you made no efforts to stop your friends from saying nasty stuff, and instead just laughed along with them.
He hated the way you were actually intelligent despite saying the most dense things sometimes.
And then there were the patrols.
No matter how many times Remus complained to McGonagall about having to partner with you, nothing changed. You hummed a soft tune under your breath, ignoring his presence as if he was a ghost. It drove him crazy.
So tonight, as the minutes dragged on, Remus tried something different.
âWhat time do you finish tonight?â His voice was low, a thread of annoyance barely concealed.
You didnât look at him. âNine.â
That was it. No warmth. Nothing. Just a short answer before you turned your head the other way.
He clenched his jaw.
Maybe it was the full moon looming, making his blood feel full of a restless frustration, but without thinking, Remus reached out and caught your wrist.
You halted, eyes flicking down to where his hand held yours, then slowly meeting his gaze.
âWhat are you doing?â Your voice was confused.
His mind echoed the words, I donât know.
He pulled you closer so your bodies faced one another, his grip still firm on your wrist.
âletâs talkâ he said slowly
You narrowed your eyes. âAbout what?â
He didnât answer right away. His gaze flicked over your face. His fingers tightened, just slightly, and you could feel his pulse through the grip.
âYouâve got a real problem, you know that?â
You raised a brow. âDo I?â
âYou think youâre better than everyone else,â he said. âBetter than me.
âMaybe I am,â you shot back.
His jaw clenched. âThatâs the thing. Youâre not.â
You tilted your head, âFunny. You sound like someone whoâs trying very hard to convince himself of that.â
The corner of his mouth twitched, but it wasnât a smile. âGod, youâre frustrating.â
âYou started this conversation.â
âYeah well, now iâm finishing itâ he scoffed, regretting even trying, it was like talking to a brick wall⊠until.
You took a slow step toward him, closing the gap between you even more. His hand still on your wrist, your other hand came up and rested on his chest. âGo on, then. Finish it.â
He laughed. Not the warm, easy one youâd heard him use with his friends, but short. His hand slid from your wrist to your shoulder as he gave you a firm push back until your spine brushed the cold stone wall.
âWhy?â he asked, his expression turning pleading, âwhy do you hate me so damn much?â
You tilted your head again, âHate is such a strong word.â
âItâs the right word.â His voice was low. âYou ignore me. You mock me. You⊠you laugh when your friends tear into me and the others. And yet youâre always looking at me.â
You smirked. âMaybe I like the view.â
His grip tightened slightly. âStopâ
You let the smirk linger. âBut youâre so easy to play with.â
He stepped in closer, his chest almost brushing yours. The air between you changed. âIs that what you think?â
Thatâs all it took for you to close the barely visible gap between you both
His hand was on your jaw before you could blink, tilting your face up, and then his mouth was on yours, hard. The kiss was heated and impatient, his grip on your waist pulling you flush against him.
You barely had time to catch your breath before he deepened the kiss, the cold stone wall pressing against your back. His fingers tangled in your hair, holding you still like he was afraid youâd pull away.
But you didnât. You kissed him back just as fiercely, matching every ounce of his frustration with your own.
When he finally pulled away, his hands brushed loose strands of hair from your face, his breath ragged.
âThis is a bad idea,â he muttered, his thumb lingering as it traced your jawline.
âThen stop,â you whispered.
He didnât.
Instead, he led you to a nearby maintenance closet, and in the dim light, he made you forget your own name. As he slipped his fingers inside you and kissed down your body, you couldnât remember a time when youâd felt you needed someone more.
As you left him that night, before you turned to leave, Remus called after you,
"I bet your friends would love to hear how their pureblood princess just spent the night."
You stopped. "I could say the same about your friends"
He chuckled, then gave you a shrug. "Donât worry, it wonât happen again, i can tell you that much."
You stared at him, taken aback by his bluntness, but quickly recovered with a smirk. "Mistakes arenât meant to be repeated anyway lupin"
Without another word, you had turned on your heel and walked off.
That was the last night that you had prefect duty with remus and he couldnât figure out why
One night you had walked past him, patrolling with some other hufflepuff prefect and barely even spared him a glance
Remus watched you go, the turn of your shoulders and the swing of your arms like a slap to his face.
He stood frozen for a moment, jaw clenched, fists tight at his sides. It wasnât just the way you ignored him, it was how easily you did it, as if he didnât even exist,
he thought after last time, itâd be slightly different, maybe youâd simply give him a curt smile, or just make him feel acknowledged, but then again, you cared about reputation more than he knew.
And it gnawed at him worse than any full moon.
He was supposed to hate you. He told himself that over and over. You were pureblood, arrogant, and rude
You laughed at him and his friends, rolled your eyes when you thought he wasnât looking. And yet, the memory of that nightâŠit kept pulling him back.
The next few days, he tried to keep his distance. Avoided the halls you walked through. Tried to drown out the ache in the pit of his stomach when he caught sight of you from across the courtyard. But it didnât work.
why did he care so damn much?
One night, he found himself lingering near the library, watching from behind a book as you leaned against the wall, talking with some irrelevant slytherin who had his arm wrapped casually around your shoulders,
Something inside Remus twisted painfully.
He told himself it was nothing. Just a silly, stupid hatred towards you both.
He tried and failed to keep his eyes on the words infront of him, but when the boyâs fingers brushed your hair and you looked up at him with that smile
Fuck, something not right was happening to him
Days passed like that. Remus saw you in passing, never alone. Laughing with others, and every time, it felt like a stab wound which he hated, hated how much he felt when he watched you
He told himself that you were impossible and that you didnât care, that you never really wanted anything from him.
But sometimes, when he caught your gaze, even if it was only for a brief second, he saw something flicker there. Something dangerous, that made him wonder, if youâd ever stoop down for someone you believed you hated.
âž»
You noticed, of course.
You saw how he watched you sometimes, eyes darkening just a little when that annoying slytherin boy was close.
It was infuriating and, oddly⊠kind of attractive.
You didnât like him the most, you try to convince yourself, sure. But damn, the way he looked at you when he thought you didnât notice.
But he said it himself, that he wouldnât do it again, especially not with youâŠ
so why did he look at you like that?
you kept pushing, snapping back at him in the halls, ignoring him on patrols, laughing with your friends when he passed. But inside, something else churned. A strange fascination.
You werenât about to admit it. Not to anyone.
â
There werenât many students stupid enough to stay outside in this weather, but you felt obliged to ensure that the few who were stupid enough to, weâre aware of the consequences, especially as you wore a prefect badge on your cardigan.
The rain was relentless, and you pulled your cloak tighter around you, trying to keep warm as you spotted a small group of boys near a pillar.
You begun walking towards them, narrowing your eyes to reduce the rain from entering and obstructing your view, then you slowed as you approached the group. You saw him before you really saw him.
At first, it was just a shape. Then you knew without looking, it was Remus.
You couldnât look away.
His shirt clung to him, soaked through and heavy, outlining every line of muscle beneath.
The way his chest rose with each breath caught your eye. His jaw, clenched just a little against the chill, and his lips were tugged upwards as he listened to something James had said
You stayed frozen, your gaze locked on him, all of him, the rain mixing with the heat rising inside you.
Then his eyes found yours.
They held your stare for a minute
You felt heat rise to your cheeks but didnât look away.
Instead, you met his smile with a teasing one of your own, straightened your shoulders, and turned away and you walked off, feeling his eyes burn into your back.
â
The castle was quieter at night. Hallways usually bustling with laughter and footsteps were now empty
Prefect duty again. You swallowed a sigh,
Ahead, in the corridor, a familiar figure leaned against the cold wall. You slowed. You hadnât planned to see him tonight.
Remus
You swallowed the tightness in your throat. You hadnât spoken to him much since that night. Since the way his hands had held you, so right, so desperate. Since the way heâd said it wouldnât happen again.
You stopped just out of his reach and he didnât move at first, just kept his eyes on you.
His mouth twitched almost a smile, but it wasnt.
You cleared your throat. âI thought Iâd asked Slughorn not to put me with you anymore.â
He snickered, voice low. âDid you?â
you nodded curtly
He pushed off the wall, his cloak dragging behind him as he stepped forward, closing some of the distance between you.
âI guess you donât get everything you want then.â His eyes locked onto yours.
You shifted, biting your lip. You hated how your heart betrayed you, how the memory of his hands on your waist echoed beneath your skin.
He finally broke the silence âWhy havenât I seen you around?â
You blinked. âwhy have you been looking?â then you let yourself smile teasingly
âlet me ask you somethingâ he nodded to himself
âgo ahead lupinâ
âAre we going to do our duty tonightâ
You tilted your head, lips curving faintly. âWhy wouldnât we?â
Something flickered in his eyes. He clicked his tongue softly, barely audible.
He didnât answer right away. Just let his gaze drag down your face, your throat, pausing for the briefest second before returning to your eyes.
You shifted your weight, pretending it didnât affect you. âWell? Are we walking, or are you just going to stand there all night?â
He stepped forward, closing the small gap. âWalking,â then went on straight past you
The patrol route blurred. You werenât paying attention to corners or corridors, or the students out of bed after hours, only to the faint brush of his arm when you passed too close, the deliberate way he slowed his pace so you had to keep matching him.
Halfway down the deserted hall, he stopped.
You stopped too, furrowing your brows
His eyes searched yours. Then, without a sound, he angled his head toward the nearest door.
That closet.
He stepped even closer, close enough for you to feel the faint warmth radiating off his skin despite the chill in the air.
You tried to turn around and continue walking, but your legs betrayed you, and you stayed stuck in your spot, turned away
before you could fully face away from him, remus grabbed your shoulder, gently, and turned you towards him
Neither of you moved for a moment,
Just like that night.
Remusâs eyes flicked to your lips, then back up to your eyes. His hand rose slowly, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear, fingers lingering longer than needed.
âyou donât want this to happen againâ you laughed quietly
âwhat makes you think thatâ he asked, low.
âyou said itâ you whispered back, not breaking the eye contact
âi liedâ he grinned , and without warning, remus slowly pushed you back, like he had done two weeks ago, and you felt yourself being pulled into a maintenance closet, like you did two weeks ago
â
it had been weeks now, weeks since you guys begun giving yourselves to each other, being vulnerable and stupid
it was the same every time
Youâd find a way to make sure you guys were each others prefect partners, then youâd give the smart remarks that made each of your bloods boil, and then, youâd end up in that same damn closet.
Your heart ached as he pressed you against the wall of the closet. His hands always found your waist, pulling you closer as he leaned in to kiss you deeply. You always responded eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him even closer.
You knew you should stop this. You knew you should push him away, but every time his lips met yours, every time his hands gripped your waist, you found yourself melting into him. It was stupid, reckless, and utterly addictive.
His kisses were always hungry and desperate, like he was trying to consume you. His hands roamed your sides, your back, your hips, anywhere they could reach.
Youâd get on your knees and kiss him down his tip, your hands moving recklessly while his wrapped themselves in your hair, tugging just hard enough to not cause you any pain
Heâd kiss your body like it was the only thing that mattered to him, like you were worth everything
Then heâd thrust into you, filling you completely. He always started slow, trying to savor every second before losing control. His hands gripped your thighs, pulling them up around his waist as he began to move inside you.
His breath would hitch in his throat as he moved faster, deeper. Each thrust was met with a soft moan from your lips, driving him wild. He knew it was stupid, reckless even, but he couldnât stop. Every time he was with you like this, everything else faded away.
But you couldnât stop, both of you couldnât let go.
Heâd look forward to the nights heâd see you, especially the nights after the full moon, the night after his transformation, that would leave him feeling disgusting, and feeling like he needed you, needed you to make him feel real
But you would look forward to the nights before the full moon, not that you knew why, you just knew, there was a time, once a month, where remus would be more desperate, more needy and more appreciative of you.
