hey loves! one thing iβve observed in self improvement spaces online is an obsession with confidence, and how to be confident. iβve seen those red-pill guys give toxic confidence tips for guys, and self improvement girls give toxic confidence advice for girls. confidence is something we all desire because it's something we generally need more of, or help with.
what really is confidence?
confidence is shown internally and externally. internally itβs a mindset we need to work on. externally we present ourselves as someone who is secure in themselves. i think both are important- when you show it, you start to feel it a little bit.
internal-Β we walk into a room without comparing ourselves to others. we donβt think that weβre superior or inferior to anyone
internal-Β we still love ourselves after mistakes
internal-Β we recognize that weβre human and sometimes slip up
internal-Β we take care of ourselves and think positive thoughts
internal-Β we donβt view other people as competition
internal-Β we donβt care about what other people think of us
external-Β we treat people with kindness
external-Β we stay out of drama & gossip
external-Β we have straight posture
external-Β we make eye contact & smile when we talk
external-Β weβre friendly to other people
external-Β we try new things
external- we avoid making self-depricating comments
external- we donβt try to get validation from other people
writing down insecurities, fears, etc.- have a journal to write about how you feel, it really does help
avoid comparing other people. when you start doing it- just tell yourself to stop. it wonβt work at first, but eventually youβll stop doing so.
reminders. remind yourself that not everyone is judging you- people are caught up in their own lives and insecurities too. remind yourself we all fall and make mistakes, but you have the power to get back up.
meditation. i had to go back to this cuz i wasnβt feeling too good. i do 5 minute meditations- you can find guided ones on youtube. theyβre very quick so it wonβt take too much time out of your day.
external changes: (aka fake it til u make it)
walk with a straight back and lift your chin up
practice making eye contact talking
taking care of yourself. at my time at military school we were taught that self respect also means taking care of your appearance, and just looking good. you donβt need to put effort into your looks in terms of doing your hair and nails and makeup- but just look someone put together, and if you want then go above and beyond. when you look good, you feel good!
working out. exercise is proven to make you feel better, and when you put effort into yourself (which includes more than exercise, things like stretching, good hygeine) youβre going to feel better.
give people genuine compliments
stop self depricating talk. stop calling yourself dumb or ugly, or all those things. first of, it makes other people feel like they can do it to you, and it will make you feel worse about yourself!
surround yourself with people who make you feel good.
it takes time to feel confident, and you definitely wonβt feel it 24/7. i still get horribly insecure sometimes and i know i still have a lot of growth to make, but by implementing these changes itβs a first step- and by staying consistent youβll get closer to seeing yourself in a healthier light. of course if your self hatred is to the point where itβs causing serious damage to yourself/your mental health you should get treatment.Β
theartofmadeline
jacobvanloon
izzy806
titsay
discoholicmusic
vaporwave
