merrin has always been so direct and uncomplicated in her approach to life, ever since he’d met her, even when they hadn’t been on the same side. she’d never been snide or conniving with him, simply angry at the pitfalls of his order, the misunderstanding of who was responsible for her sisters’ deaths– something he couldn’t truly fault her for, looking back on it. she’s grown exponentially, even in the small time he’s known her, seeing her branch so far out from her comfort zone on dathomir. he wonders if she’s noticed it in herself, if she’s as impressed with herself as he is in her. he wishes he felt that same sort of expansion, that same flourishing, but at the moment, all he feels is pain and blockage and frustration.
hearing that she trusts him, even when he can’t trust himself, puts a lump in his stomach heavy as a boulder, and he shakes his head, but his throat is so tight, he’s not sure what to say to that, how to contradict it. she shouldn’t trust him, even if he so desperately wants her to, but just looking into her eyes as she speaks, he already knows there won’t be any talking her out of it now. “i’ll do my best to withstand it,” he shrugs, good naturedly, hoping it’s enough.
but when she contradicts him again, the frustration only grows. “no, you have to hide, it’s important that they don’t find you too. they keep holding it over my head, the people i have to lose, the people who are important to me that they can get to. merrin, that includes you. so i need you to get to safety, to make sure you stay away from these people, so that i’m not worried about you.” he glances out the force-field doorway once again, paranoia creeping through his bones. “i don’t know what other kind of tech they could have that could damage you, if they knew your abilities.” if they have even the slightest bit more understanding of her race than cal does, since he has barely any, to be honest. but he knows the pain of watching someone he cares about get hurt because of him– he has trilla to thank for that.
but he doesn’t fight her when she unshackles him and helps him stand up, only groaning a bit and wobbling on his feet, which suddenly feel more like jelly than muscles and skeleton. he winces, wishing he didn’t look so weak. he continues examining the device in his wrist, frowning at it and hoping it won’t react negatively to merrin’s magic. “okay, if you think you can try to get me out, i would appreciate it. no harm in trying, right?” kriff, he hopes there’s no harm in trying– he hopes this won’t be painful.
he’s not exactly sure if physical contact is necessary for her working to be effective, but he reaches out for her hand anyway. “i’m ready.”
she feared what was happening with him, she worried at this amount of... hopelessness. pessimism, perhaps. it was... disconcerting. but it made sense, in a way. cal was complex, the way he saw the galaxy was something even she couldn’t comprehend, and now with his understanding corrupted by this time shift and imprisonment? she understood. but that only made her more desperate to free him.Â
merrin wasn’t sure when the last time she had felt this kind of desperation was.Â
the mood shifted. he didn’t... he was sure unsure of himself. it didn’t make sense-- she had seen him fight, watched him face trials on dathomir. he didn’t see his strength, doubted it. merrin wasn’t sure how to handle that, how to convince him this was nothing he hadn’t faced before. a small smile stretched on her lips, an attempt at something reassuring, and she nodded carefully at his response. it was a start, “i know you will, cal kestis.”Â
the nightsister had already decided she wasn’t leaving, despite cal’s wishes. she respected him but... this was foolish. foolish to act as some sort of marauder. “and you’re important to me. which is why i’m not leaving, “ she stated simply, unconcerned with the possibility of her own capture. she was confident she could escape if need be. no, her concern was more with what would happen to cal if her presence was discovered, she didn’t want him harmed on her mistake. “it’s already decided. you can’t change my mind.”Â
merrin however was concerned with how... unstable he was. it was more than she expected. an arm moved under his to steady him, hoping that he was strong enough to hold at least some of his weight. her eyes flicked over to the device on his wrist, swallowing some. surely i wasn’t that powerful. nodding some, she locked her fingers with his, a reassurance, more than anything, closing her eyes to try and transport them away, eyes widening in-- pain.Â
       she kept her grip on cal but he had been right, whatever that was blocking her as well, sending a shock through her, and now doubt him as well. stumbling, she breathed heavily -- “how-- how can they do that?”Â