I feel tainted..
$LAYYYTER
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@highoffsuply
I feel tainted..
Javier Mayoral
Comet (2014)
“So… have you ever dreamt about me?”
To need someone is a very dangerous thing.
(via melisica)
Sunsets & Sunrises by Sonja Barbaric
I'll always love you, in my own way
letters from mom
“It was probably nothing but it felt like the world.”
Morrissey, Autobiography (p. 141)
You, you’re a cheat. Which makes you a sneak. I could smell it on you the first time we met; you fucking reeked of ulterior motives and deceitfulness.. I may be a lot of things, but inattentive is not one of them. And I bet you didn’t notice how much I saw those beady slits on your face dart back and forth while your mind calculated. You play innocence very well, I will give you that.. and blatant stupidity which isn’t so much an act as it is a character trait for you . Your ignorance and inability to form coherent and intelligent thoughts or ideas is worrisome. No individuality, just pure idiocy, which may be part of your charm? If you can even call it charm. But I also see the way your legs brush against another’s while he sits there distracted. And there is nothing I hate more than an undercover whore that can’t admit her own transgression. Disgusting excuse of womanhood, you fat little girl.
You, you’re a coward. Spineless as a jelly-fish. A sheep, a follower; a door mat laying in front of someone else’s house. Willing to play court jester for a theater that seems to mock and use you.. but yet, you still play along. Dancing like their puppet. How pathetic they must think you do be because they surely laugh at how you jump when they say jump. And how pathetic you actually are that you don’t notice they come to you simply to pull your strings. A big, dumb marionette clown.
And you, you’re all of the above so you’re the worst of all. Unable to love because of how unlovable you are; and that will be your life’s curse. Wandering from body to body, always taking more than what is necessary because you are a leech. A parasite that drains life. All you’ll be really, is hopeless and sad.. a true lost cause. You will never find true happiness but you’ll never be able to realize you are to blame because of that. You will look, in every person you meet, for a home to lay your head while you destroy in the process.. and that is all you will ever be to anyone. A destructive mistake that had once been made that will never be made again. You will be the life lesson we tell our children late at night when they can’t seem to figure life out. You will be used as an example; you will be the big bad wolf in the story. But you will also be long forgotten after the story is over and everyone lives happily ever after. You will be part of the story that never ends, the part of the story that never grows up..the peter pan that has outgrown the suit he still continuous to wear’ and I think encountering you is much, much better than ever having to be you..
personal
I took acid and all I could think about was fucking you.
That’s the scariest thing to me..
how easily I feel bored and uninspired.
How easily I’m able to feel less than a person, like I don’t exist.
That’s why I need constant stimulation. If I stop moving, I disappear. I’m not real so when real things cease to exist, so do I.
It’s that old quote “if a tree falls and nobody is around to hear it, did it really fall?”
Well...if I’m here and nobody’s around to witness me, am I really here at all?
Because I’m getting really tired of finding means to make myself and remind myself that I am, in fact, alive and real..