Poetic Quest

[highqueendreamer]

I hide my grief

under bright eyes

and laugh lines.

It sits inside of me

soft and heavy 

a cloud full of rain

occasionally bursting

catching me unawares.

Out of sight but still there - by S.M.

[yumyumpod]

The OA (2016 - 2019)

[highqueendreamer]

Sometimes when you look harder and get closer to the details, this is what you find.

[decomposedmaw]

Overgrown House

[highqueendreamer]

The female of the species is...

Loud

Obnoxious

Needy

Emotional

Difficult

Shy

Homely

Sensible

Maternal

Sexy

Slutty

Pushy

Bitchy

Ball busting

Hysterical

So many labels

So many whispers

All coloured by an aged perception

Of how women should be.

I look in the mirror

And all I see

Is me.

Human

Fragile

Full of self

Strong

Just going about my life

Ready for adventure

Open heart

Soft but not weak

Gentle yet tough

Equal (whether you realise it or not!).

Women are human.

We are just trying to get by.

There is nothing that makes us lesser

We deserve to be treated equally

-- by SM (read by SM)

[highqueendreamer]

I am tired

of pretending

Tired of

hoping to be truly seen

I'm the kind of tired

that drags your bones

and coats your soles in mud

Tired of heavy eyes

- lying awake at 3 am

hoping for rest.

--Tired by SM

[highqueendreamer]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[highqueendreamer]

I am the orange columns of stress

unable to relax or focus on the moment.

Walking lopsided through a hurricane

blinded by the dust and thoughts surrounding me

Hurtling past with no care

a lesson in safety translated in tales of what not to do

It's only Tuesday,

But, it will be the weekend soon.

--- Work Life Balance by SM.

[highqueendreamer]

I'm sitting this one out.

[highqueendreamer]

[highqueendreamer]

Grit tugs on my skin

as you drag on my hair

the ground mashing my face.

Your lies, cheese grater sharp

gathering in curls.

Piling up, big enough to hide behind.

I thought we were friends,

turns out, it was one sided

and my short sight was so bad

I may as well be blind.

-It wasn't real, though I wish it had been. By S.M.

[highqueendreamer]

Left on read

Fully spiraling

into anxiety loops

While you watch on as I drown.

- Control. By SM.

[highqueendreamer]

I've been ill with flu all week and I feel like I'm on pause. My legs want to run, but my chest is clamped tight like a fist ready to strike. I yawn and cough and still feel the energy vibrating, ready to move, but unable. Pinned to the earth like a weighted blanket. It's not comfort, it's a struggle and I know if I push myself, I will just get worse.

[fortunatelyenchantingtaco]

It will forever be funny how magicians bait you with a start of like. A privileged typical magical school and you go meh and then there’re like. Small things you keep finding creepy but go meh maybe its just oh so special. Quentin talking about his depression and knowing exactly from which roof to jump to not survive, Julia using her ring to gash open her arm so she wouldn’t forget about magic, beast appearing and burning dean’s eyes, alice’s brother who used too much magic and burned into a wild and cruel spirit. All weird and kinda disturbing but its mixed with so much humour and dumb privileged college kids on weed you kinda ignore the implications of how fucked up magic is

And then it all comes to a head when youre forced to mentally confront the fact that the beast, the main villain, a man who’s face is always obstructed by flies, who has been killing you and your friends for 44 time loops, is a hero of your childhood books which saved you from suicide. Books which were written by a man who sexually abused this boy for years which is why now he’s trying to destroy everything and be the only one left. Like what the actual fuck. And to drive the point home it deals with pregnancy as a result of SA and they go robbing a bank to afford it. This show pick you up by the scruff and takes you on a rollercoaster and shows you that magic comes from pain. That there is no talent, that the strongest mages are those who don’t stop. And then it takes your hand again and shows you that life is still beautiful even with all the horror. That there is hope and love and sometimes love is also hideous and evil and cruel but that’s okay. There might not be a happy ending but love was there. You did it because you loved and because you did something to change the world for the better and even if it turned completely wrong the sentiment was there. You existed and you mattered and maybe that’s enough

[highqueendreamer]

When I visit places I once lived

coffees drunk and steps taken

linger.

Spectral echoes

of times left behind.

- Past life in the present by SM.

[highqueendreamer]

It's tiring

to pretend

I just want to relax my vibe

and melt

but, that's not the life I lead

-Exhausted make-believe - by SM

[highqueendreamer]

Sometimes I get the feeling that everything is on the wrong side.

The world seems askew

like, is the driving wheel always on that side?

And, is my top the wrong way round?

I feel off kilter, nothing is quite right

I'm not on pause, but I need a reset.

- Not Quite Right - by SM

[highqueendreamer]

In haste,

we swiftly dive

and swoop.

Racing towards the end

- the place that's also

the beginning.

Relationship - by SM.