HightopsSam:)

It's just one of those kinda days...

[help-n-quotes]

You will be stupid. You will worry your parents. You will question your own choices, your relationships, your jobs, your friends, where you live, what you studied in college, that you went to college at all… If that happens, you’re doing it right.

Ira Glass (via help-n-quotes.com)

[meanwhilepoetry]

I am teaching myself how to take up space. How to not apologise constantly for the way I live and breathe. How an apology isn’t something I am supposed to say before I speak in a conversation. How  I’m so sorry, isn’t something I have to say before I just allow myself the basic right of speaking about anything. I am teaching myself that I am allowed to exist on this planet without thinking of myself as a burden. How to not apologise for things that are out of my control. How to understand when people are trying to manipulate me into thinking the worst of myself and most of all how to stop thinking the very worst of myself as I deserve better than that from myself. I am teaching myself that humans can exist without assuming the very worst about themselves and how the people around them perceive them. How to not apologise when someone bumps into me and I immidiately assume it is my fault. How to not apologise when I ask a question because I think others will think I am stupid. How to love myself for these flawed bits of me no one has ever wanted to love before. I am teaching myself that all the lies my abusers told me about myself were so very wrong. How I am allowed to make mistakes. How as long as I apologise and amend things, anything is fixable if I still have love in my heart for the other person. How not everything that has ever gone wrong in every relationship is my fault. I am finally learning how to take up space as a human being. It’s taken a long, long road to get here. And I still have a very long way to go before I am done understanding that it is my job to take up space, that I am not just an afterthought or a secondary character in this gift of life I have been given. That who I am is not an apology, that who I am is not wrong.

Nikita Gill, On Learning How To Take Up Space (via meanwhilepoetry)

[extramadness]

[extramadness]

[neuroticdream]

You’ve become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you deserve, you have no fucking idea how to respond.

(via neuroticdream)

[69shadesofgray]

same

[xbe-my-escapex]

[fleetingxperfection]

It hard when you’ve worked so hard to be invisible that when you truly do you realize how lonely it feels.

[words-of-emotion]

You don’t need to waste your time on someone who only wants you around when it fits their needs.

(via words-of-emotion)

[remanence-of-love]

Those nights 🌙

[mystic-mother-moon]

“I’m drowning. I’m drowning in the tears I can’t shed, the words I can’t say. These silent waves wash over my spirit in agonising repetition. I can swim, save myself; but drowning is so much simpler.”

- A Drowning Damsel

[missnothingquotes]

Monsters don’t sleep under your bed, they scream inside of your head

There are things that happened in your life that always haunt you. (via missnothingquotes)

[br-o-ken-poetry]

I feel like wherever I go, I will always have a strange sense of sadness in me. Hiding in every smile, stopping me always from laughing as fully and as truly as I could… It’s like a seed I’ve got to try never to water, else I know it could grow, and take me over.

broken thoughts (via br-o-ken-poetry)

[leohearts]

People will change when they lose interest in you.

(via leohearts)

[leohearts]

I saw the signs but I chose to ignore them. The distant look in your eyes, and the lack of emotion, the lack of effort you began to give, and how our conversation just seemed to end. I didn’t want to accept the truth that was bluntly in front of my face, you were slowly losing interest in me, and that made my heart break.

(via leohearts)

[soulreaver62]

I really am and I don’t know if it means a single thing.

[confusedmillennials-deactivated]

I’ve been trying for awhile to accurately describe the feeling of loneliness. Each time it feels like I’m missing something. I never come close enough. It’s a tricky one. It’s not as expressive as sadness is. Doesn’t gut you, slice you open the way grief does. Loneliness works differently. It doesn’t slap you in the face like anger or jealously. It takes time penetrating your life. You ever have a friend that you didn’t particularly like? You don’t know how you became friends. It seems like they’ve always been around. Not sure why. Not sure the moment they went from stranger to a contact in your phone. Loneliness is like that. Yeah, like an invader that moved so slowly, you didn’t even notice. I guess it just sits there, like some bruise that’s so close to being healed. Sometimes you think it’s gone. If you stay distracted, plugged in, never fully present, you might not feel it at all. But like a bruise, if you touch it you’ll wince. You’ll be reminded it’s still there. In my experience, loneliness rarely has to to do with being alone. Sure, that might amplify it, but it’s never the root cause. Loneliness shows up when you forget yourself. It’s present on the nights you feel like a stranger in your own body and you wonder how long you’ve been on autopilot. On those nights, you’ll ask yourself, “have I always been this lonely?” When it becomes too much, on the bad nights, you’ll look for immediate distractions. We’re good at that, us humans. We’ve figured out how to be so plugged in all the time. We’ll numb ourselves with food or alcohol or superficial connection. We’ll text someone we shouldn’t. We’ll binge watch shows on Netflix until the screen is forced to ask, “are you still watching?” On those nights, you’ll hate admitting just how lonely you really are. It feels like a failure of sorts. Because loneliness, unlike sadness or anger, is harder to figure out. Why do we feel this way? How can we fix it? I’m still not sure I know the answers to those questions, but I do know loneliness does not go away if you just ignore it. It sits. It waits. It stays tucked away for the next bad night. The next night you lower your defences. Perhaps there is a feeling of unity in our loneliness. That even in our most isolated, in our pangs of pure lonely, we can know that others are feeling that way too. Maybe we should talk more of our loneliness. Maybe that’s how we take it’s power away. We share, we grieve together, we try to understand this feeling. I wonder how many of us are hurting right now. I wonder how many of us are afraid to let the world know just how lonely these nights can be. Sometimes I feel like ripping apart my skin and searching for a reason why I feel the way I do. So empty. Maybe my veins are tangled, or maybe something is lodged in my rib cage. Because it feels like something inside of me is missing or broken and I would give all the money in the world to find that missing piece.

my random 2am thoughts (via confusedmillennials)

[neuroticdream]

That’s how depression hits. You wake up one morning, afraid that you’re gonna live.

(via neuroticdream)