the thing is that it worked, initially, when it was just the PT, to understand how anakin and vader are theoretically the same guy, because largely they have similar manners of speaking; anakin’s less formal, definitely, but he’s not quite informal. that stiffness christensen got lambasted for is really easy to imagine becoming darth “i am altering the deal, pray i don’t alter it further” vader, which was somewhat the point. that was the idea behind it, and even if it meant anakin’s flirting in AOTC is bad space shakespeare, it still works for the universe it’s in. how else is darth “what is thy bidding my master” vader supposed to fucking flirt, you think he speaks like a normal person? “i am haunted by that kiss you should have never given me” fits the vocal pattern lucas established for the guy in the OT, even if it’s missing some of the flair, and the intense menace that james earl jones brings to the table in the OT. james earl jones knew how to give a voice an edge, is what i’m saying.
fundamentals are there, though, and that makes sense, because he’s nineteen. the same holds true for revenge of the sith - anakin’s still talks more stiff and over-the-top than not, cough cough “his fate will be the same as ours” cough cough. he uses contractions on the occasion but it’s equally likely that he won’t, and he’s not constantly awkward - neither was anakin in AOTC - but mostly he follows that same old school typical star wars film dialogue, and that overly formal manner of speech lends itself very easily to going, well, yeah, this is a guy who is going to be darth vader. a somewhat dry sense of humor tracks (”apology accepted, captain needa” the bitch says, over the corpse of the guy he just strangled because he threw a temper tantrum, and anakin’s “if you’ll excuse me, master” before he throws himself off of a speeder like a bitch) and a tendency for exaggeration (”you are beaten. it is useless to resist. don’t let yourself be destroyed as obi-wan did” and “my heart is beating… hoping that kiss will not become a scar. you are in my very soul, tormenting me” have similar levels of drama, which is maximum), that’s all par the course. like it or not, it works, reasonably well.
and then there’s anakin in fucking TCW, who matt lanter was told to play like a mixture of han and luke, but the dialogue for the show wasn’t even written to mimic either of those characters well at all. because, again, star wars has a specific kind of dialogue it prefers, and it’s a lot more old fashioned. anakin talks like a regular, normal guy in TCW, all of that stiltedness that was part-n-parcel for a guy introduced to audiences everywhere as an expressionless cyborg is gone, it’s all very loosey-goosey dime-a-dozen action hero fare. which isn’t inherently bad, it’s just that it doesn’t make any sense. “the things you do to get me alone” is not flirting as conceived by a guy who thought “if you are suffering as much as i am, please tell me” was a normal thing people say to other people. his jokes aren’t the wry sarcasm vader or anakin in the PT use, it’s just - obi-wan related bickering, with none of the specific diction used in AOTC and ROTS. when they throw in nods to anakin’s Dark Future TM they miss the mark, because TCW anakin saying things like “most impressive” doesn’t sound like him at all - it’s notable because it’s not him, when the point is that it’s supposed to fit. it does not. how am i supposed to RECONCILE this.
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