bad wizards and shimmering rainbow-white robes
Someone else has probably already made this pointāI'm late to the Locked Tomb party, I knowābut I've been reading a whole lot of Locked Tomb posts (in between re-reading bits of the Locked Tomb books and thinking about The Lord of the Rings) recently, and if anyone else has made this point I haven't seen it yet, so, spoilers through Nona the Ninth:
Your gazes met. The other nascent Lyctorāthe Third House saint, the Emperorās bones and the Emperorās joints, the Emperorās fists and gesturesāwas clothed in a beautiful nacreous robe that glimmered all the colours of the rainbow: gauzy, iridescent white stuff that changed violently in the light.
(Chapter 4, Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir)
A mass of fabric whispered past youāyou could not feel it on your body, but you felt the air upon your cheekāand then a person knelt in front of your chair. A shining, shimmering billow of pale fabric came into your field of vision, a rainbow-hued whiteness that ran through shades beneath the hot tungsten light, like the reflection of coloured glass on ice, the same stuff that now was draped around you. Then, awfully, your vision was lifted. Someone had pressed a finger lightly beneath your chin, and they were tilting it up so that you could see their face. You looked at the Lyctor. The Lyctor looked at you.
(Chapter 6, Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir)
āāRadagast the Brown!ā laughed Saruman, and he no longer concealed his scorn. āRadagast the Bird-tamer! Radagast the Simple! Radagast the Fool! Yet he had just the wit to play the part that I set him. For you have come, and that was all the purpose of my message. And here you will stay, Gandalf the Grey, and rest from journeys. For I am Saruman the Wise, Saruman Ring-maker, Saruman of Many Colours!ā āI looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours, and if he moved they shimmered and changed hue so that the eye was bewildered.
(āThe Council of Elrond,ā The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien)
I told them, This is it. We were put here to save the planet. Weāre going to save the planet. Weāre not going to let them run away. Weāre going to fix this. And they were all, Yeah, John, because they were my friends and they loved me. But because they were also dicks and most of them had multiple tertiary degrees, they were also like, How though. We know you can do X and Y and Z. Thatās still not A or B or C. We love the bone magic, but how are you going to pull this off? And it was Pā of all people who said, First things first. If theyāre going to let us fix the world, youāve got to make them take us seriously. Get some leverage. If they want to make you into a bad wizard, be a bad wizard. We can write the history books to say you were a good wizard. Or at least an okay wizard. Theyāre not going to listen because we talk nicely, theyāre going to listen because we scare the shit out of them.
(āJohn 5:1,ā Nona the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir)
Ironically, of course, John himself doesnāt wear the shimmering rainbow-hued robes of the Lyctorsābut his crown of infant fingerbones is first described as āa wreath of ribbon and pearlescent leaves in his dark hair, rustling prismatically in the windless docking bay" (Chapter 6, Harrow the Ninth), and frankly I think rainbow pearlescent leaves each āintertwined with a match-sized infant fingerboneā sounds significantly more evil than Saruman bothered looking, so eat your heart out CurunĆr I guess.
Of course, there's lots of irony about John adopting the trappings of that particular evil wizard, but I think the most ironic part might be the extent to which he really should've taken notes on the rest of the passage in question:
āāI liked white better,ā I said. āāWhite!ā he sneered. āIt serves as a beginning. White cloth may be dyed. The white page can be overwritten; and the white light can be broken.ā āāIn which case it is no longer white,ā said I. āAnd he that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.ā













