Hillcrest Gossip

My hair may not be big but it's still full of secrets.

[hillcrestgossip]

Happy Friday, boys and girls. I figured you're all in for a much needed update in case you were all too busy with your heads up your asses in order to see the drama beginning to unfold around you, so let's begin, shall we?

First things first in the couple news of the day, Cameron and Harmony are finally a thing. Now the two cupcakes have moved on from that 'skinny love' phase they had going on and got together to make one nauseatingly cute couple. You can now place your bets on how long they will last. I swear, they're so sweet you'll get diabetes from just looking at them, so viewers, be advised. 

Then let's take a moment to talk about the pageant queen herself, Miss Maisie. After a little tiff with a certain pint-sized ballerina, chastising the young girl for "complaining about her gaming system," the pageant queen then went on the very next day to complain that none of her many clothes looked good on her. Does anyone smell a hypocrite? 

Next up, we have Marcus, the party man, himself, who may not be attending any parties for the moment. Apparently after some massive fight with his parents, undoubtedly over something along the lines of how their son is such a bum and going nowhere in life, but that's besides the point. The after is where it gets interesting. Apparently Daddy Royds is now in the hospital, though the jury's out on why. Maybe he couldn't handle his son being such a failure. Tick, tock, Marcus. The clock is ticking.

 And then we have Monica and Ethan who have hit an all new level of weird. After going on one date, the two have become "parents" to a dog. Way to jump ahead 10 steps, you two. Having a "child" is something that comes after marriage, or an i love you, or at least a proper label. But I suppose when you pair a twitchy dork with a cold-hearted bitch you get a very unconventional relationship. Bore.

And then just as he was about to make the disappointment list again, Destin decided to give me something to work with. Thanks to a clingy little blonde who spends so much time crying she could provide a village in Africa with a lifetime supply of water, we now know that apparently Destin has been getting a whole different kind of job while he was at work. Seems as though Sasha and Destin are more than just co-workers, and apparently seem to be on good terms still. Watch out, you two. Friends with benefits never works out, and I don't think Sasha will be the one doing the heartbreaking.

And on the disappointment list this week we have none other than the following: 

Salem

Lily

Aubrey

Becca

Ivy

Jude

James

Step it up, kids. I can feel myself yawning already

-X

[hillcrestgossip]

do you think that sal will do something scandalous?

I sure as hell hope so.

[hillcrestgossip]

thoughts on harmony and cameron?

Too cute for words. Honestly I’ve lost all hope when it comes to the two of the moving beyond the friendzone but I’ll comfort myself with the fact that they make an adorable pair of BFFs.

[hillcrestgossip]

thoughts on james, monica, ethan, lily, destin, ivy, and sal?

James: Quit trying to screw every girl in town, J. His ‘hotshot’-persona intrigued me in the beginning but now it’s just damn annoying.

Monica: Most stubborn chick I’ve come across in a long while. I get why she doesn’t trust people but opening up to a guy who’s done nothing but give you good signals isn’t a bad thing, you know.

Ethan: Not quite sure where this guy stands. Is he just a plain ol' good guy, a bit beaten and bruised but otherwise a perfectly fine young man? Hmm. 

Lily: Your boyfriend died, we get it. Time to start moving on.

Destin: This guy could have so much potential but he wastes it hanging around the sad girl and the immature prankster. Time to throw away the dead weight and find a new crowd, D.

Ivy: Yawn.

Sal: Sassy Town, USA. She has yet to do something scandalous but I’m counting down the seconds till it happens.

[hillcrestgossip]

Thoughts on Aubrey?

Cute girl, nothing more to say here, really. Unless she’s got some beans to spill about the other employees, I wouldn’t give her the time of day. Too boring.

[hillcrestgossip]

Who can do better?

Since there aren’t any legitimate couples ‘round here (that I know of) this isn’t really a question I can answer. But looking past that, I really wonder how Ethan is able to put up with Monica’s eternal moodiness. Being with that girl must feel like one hell of a roller coaster ride. Also, Marcus seems bored with Lily’s constant ‘sad sack’-persona, so I say get out while you still can, M.

[hillcrestgossip]

who should james bone next?

Me.

No, in all seriousness I think this bad boy needs a lil break. But that’s no fun, is it? So I say Lauren (you’re not even trying to hide those long, loving stares, are ya J?) or maybe Aubrey, actually. That’d be entertaining to watch.

[hillcrestgossip]

what do you think of the new people

Not quite sure yet, it’s still too early to tell whether they’re gossip worthy or not. Sal is sassing it up with James and I can’t tell if they’re flirting or not so that’s a first. They both seem interesting enough, although James is so close to hitting ‘cocky asshole’-territory I bet he can taste it. Aubrey’s cute, Dawn seems rather annoying. That’s all I can think of, if you were thinking of someone I haven’t mentioned then hit me up with a name.

[hillcrestgossip]

What are your favorite ships?

Monica and Ethan are sort of cute, not gonna lie here. Monica is stubborn as fuck and I have a feeling a guy like Ethan could put some bubble into that girl. 

Other than that, I don’t really see any promising relationships forming. Shame Har ‘n Cam didn’t work out.

[hillcrestgossip]

Alright, losers. There's a new bitch in town, but this one is no slave to the Hillcrest Mall like the rest of you. I will remain nameless, but that doesn't mean I won't affect your lives any less than if you knew who I was — quite the contrary, actually. I'll talk about anything and anyone, so as long as you guys provide me with some juicy suspicions or eye-widening rumors, I promise you we're going to have a lot of fun together.