hello, dear heart. ❧ —
my name is valentine. they / whatever you will. a sorcerous-wizardly-witch creature who spends a lot of time out in the woods talking to the trees, rivers, and spirits therein.
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hello, dear heart. ❧ —
my name is valentine. they / whatever you will. a sorcerous-wizardly-witch creature who spends a lot of time out in the woods talking to the trees, rivers, and spirits therein.
ritual well as well as one can hope. i went very simple. brought the spirits to my working table, showed my offering (big candle), and anointed everyone with oil. during the ritual, i wrote my petition, sealed it, meditated and asked the spirits to complete the petition in exchange for more of this (bigger candle / oil / gifts / etc) and then closed it out.
and while they're out there doing their thing, i have several tasks i have to complete on my end to hold up my side of the things i'm asking for.
lets work hard together 🤝
sing, sing, oh i sing to aphrodite who is most beautiful! she who stirs the passion of men & god alike! o, to she — i sing! golden goddess with soft lashes, golden goddess with soft arms, i spin and sing and delight in the bright rose that is you. may i dance with your grace, lifted up as the foam from the sea as you were — may my smile be blessed with delight. golden-haired goddess, bless my tongue to be sweet as honey, bless my fingers to be delicate and swift, bless my steps so they may bound forth in soft beauty. glory to she — praise to she! goddess of ever golden smiles, of fierce beauty, of spilling laughter and delight. o! may i love as you love — may i delight as you delight! goddess, fill me with your beauty — may i shine & rise above the wrathful waters of those around me and delight, delight, delight in the glory that you have given to me!
it has been a very long time since i set up a working altar. invited some spirits i know (including my cat and it was very emotional, started crying the second i was addressing her ...) along with some tarot spirits to see if things can start shaking out with intended purpose. the goal is to work the altar + feed the spirits + meditate daily for that intended purpose.
i think a key part is that i can't look at spellwork or faith or spirituality as outcome. this isn't to say that i'm not hoping for an outcome but i can't expect the outcome to just drop into my lap. i can't cast a money spell and expect to find $50 just appear and i know that sounds obvious but for a while, that's where my head was.
have faith, believe, and trust were the constant voices and i just sat there, trying to do so. and to go back to my road opening charm, for example, i made it to remind myself to look for those roads rather than bumbling into the right one going off vibes and faith because i don't have faith. faith clouds everything over for me.
the thing i do have and what i trust is my will and my action. if i want something (will) then i will get it (action) and that's how the world works for me. the road opening charm won't open roads if i just sit there but it will jump into action once i pick a destination (will) and work on getting there (action).
and there is a part of me that is like: well, that's just how it works even without the craft. which, sure. i think, for me, however, having the ritual or making the spell or lighting the candle is like the catalyst for that will and action. it gives me a focal point, something to do when i feel like i can't do anything, and it's really fun because now i have a pretty charm to attach to my person that helps me to see the roads before me.
i made a little road opening charm using some old beads, jewelry stuff i had around, and an old key someone was going to throw away. pretty happy with how it came out. i'm letting it charge on my altar and then i'm going to attach it to a small carabiner so i can clip it to my person when i go out.
trying to unbraid divinity with my practice, trying to identify which parts to keep and which to cut out has been a slow process. i think a lot of it has to do with the fatigue of expectation.
i was doing rituals and praying and hoping that something would happen. i couldn't be satisfied with the wind blowing or seeing a sign or pulling a card — i wanted spontaneous action. i wanted the hollywood magic and to expect that for so long and not get it (because it is hollywood magic and thus does not exist outside of props and imagination) set me up to fail. and that is no one's fault but mine.
i was doing big spells in hopes for big magic. i was spending hours meditating. it wasn't a sustainable practice. i was expecting big magic so i did big things that took a lot of energy — physical and spirital — to do for results that would let me down. burnout combined with religious deconstruction and unlearning magical thinking, all of those things centering on expectation — it makes sense why i stopped.
there's just a lot of exhaustion tied up with magic and i'm slowly cutting them away.
so, yesterday i did the smallest candle ritual where i lit a candle and breathed. not for very long with no words or herbs or anything else. just me and this candle trying to find my way back to the path. i saw a heart in the shadow cast by my hands which made me smile — because hearts make me smile. they make me happy.
and honestly, i really forgot about it for the rest of the day but then i saw down at my desk this morning and lit the candle again and sat with it. tomorrow, i'll do it again. and i'll see where that goes.
i miss ritual.
and i'm not even quite sure where it went. a lot of it has to do with faith and i simply do not have a lot of that. i don't think you necessarily need it. the way i'm now approaching the world from a state of proof vs folly, i think you can still conduct ritual and spellwork. i just haven't make ritual or spellwork important to me. life goes on without it.
and i can't decide if it is still important to me. or if it was just part of my life at one point and now it isn't. i miss being curious about it, lighting that candle for the first time and conducting a very simple spell. i was so excited — especially when it worked. but everything i've learned since thing, the modalities i've experienced or tried in order to sate that curiosity, has left me sour with magic.
i started to explore witchcraft and magic because i wanted magic in my life. i went from devout church goer to shivering under full moons and it felt right, it felt good. i'd never felt so good as i did when i was fully inside the craft. my life took a sharp turn and magic began to fall apart. my relationship with the divine dissolved, my relationship with spirit dissolved, i just — i don't know, accepted a form of magical thinking rather than conducting ritual and did not need to conduct, the spell could exist because i was thinking about it.
my life is about to change and i don't want to leave ritual behind but i can't tell if that sense is simply nostalgia because witchcraft helped me grow in ways i did not think possible and i want that version of me back or if i truly want it in my life.
i still change my altars but i no longer read tarot, i no longer pull cards, i no longer light candles or read, i don't wear my talismans or amulets, i don't speak magic into what i do, and it makes me sad to see my tools left untouched, to see my candles just unused, to build my altars but not use them. and i could just stop. i can put that part of me to the side and say that it was fun and it helped me when i needed it but i'm a different person now and it would very easy to do so because i'm essentially living like that right now.
but living like that feels very empty and that is why i miss it.
casting my first spell after what feels like being dormant for months. simple drink spell in my coffee, turning it into a potion for good luck. i feel so out of touch with the spellcaster who harnesses hurricanes, haha!
but little steps. i haven't been very involved with my practice at all and i'm pretty sure if i tried to be that spellcaster now, i'd be out cold for weeks.
#if lucifer is too much ... try satan!
i stand by this btw on this blog. if lucifer doesn't answer, try satan ... he's also more willing to party innnn my experience ;)
hiii :))
i dunno if this is a dumb question but how exactly do you go about prayer for Lucifer? I wanna pray to him but I dunno how I should go about it if that makes sense?
hello hello!
prayer is as complicated or as simple as you'd like to make it. it can be elaborate with altars and incense and music or as simple as closing your eyes and saying a few words. that answer, however, doesn't feel very helpful. so!
the prayer itself, however, depends on you. i tend to divide them into two. there's prayer of praise and prayer of need. prayer of praise is essentially praising lucifer (also prayer of worship) for things and then prayer of need is like a petition where you address your needs and ask for his help.
if i were you, i'd want to know what is that you're wanting to say to him. do you want to thank him? do you want his help? try to define why you're wanting to reach out to him and then simply say that. one thing about lucifer that i find is that he prefers it clear-cut and straightforward. if you're not sure, i feel like he'd want you to take the time to cut away the nonsense rather than to just start saying things hoping you'll land on the 'right' thing. he's a god of the in-between, he has no right or wrong. all he needs to is to know that you're sure. in my experience, he does not like hesitation. but that also means he extends patience. he wants you to be sure. he wants you to see all your options. not just what others have told you. he wants you to make sure that you know what it is you want.
i tend to start my prayers with "Lucifer, Lord of ___" and depending on what aspect of him i want to address then i'll sub in whatever. so, lord of light, knowledge, knowing, the air, the morning star, etc. and then go off from there. i do this because it's proper. most prayers begin with naming the god they're addressed to. here, top of the dome:
lucifer, lord of light i want to thank you for this day. thank you for illuminating my path. thank you for your guidance, your patience, and your kindness. i ask you to continue guiding so i may continue following. praise be to you.
and that sounds pretty christian, i know. i come from a christian background and that's just how i know how to pray, haha! if you'd like, perhaps research roman prayer formats as lucifer has origins in the roman celestial pantheon. write out a few prayers to get the feel for it. it can be just a few lines. it can just be: "lucifer, thank you."
you don't even have to SAY your prayers. you can write them down and keep them next to your altar or keep them in a book, your phone, etc. one thing i hated about prayer in the church™ was that it always felt like a performance. like you had to pray the best. it felt gross to hear, honestly. because, to me, prayer isn't like that at all.
prayer is a quiet voice between you and the god you love. and that god wants to hear from you.
using my art which by the way are pieces i made in worship to the being that they're depicting ... as inspiration of your roleplay muse is incredibly incredibly disrespectful.
they are gods. the art i make is an act of worship. 10 years of curses and hexes upon you.
Head of Eros. Greek. Hellenistic Period, circa 2nd-1st century BC. bronze. Christie's July 2024. http://hadrian6.tumblr.com
Satan awakening his legions by Estella Canziani
do you know how it feels to hover in between? to be named darkness when you were created for light? to be blamed for lies when you sought truth? do you know how it feels to fall when you were made for flight? perhaps — oh, perhaps then you might understand. all i wanted to know was — why.
1618-1622, Giovanni Battista Caracciolo, Cupido dormiente
Fallen Angel by Alexandre Cabanel