Renée 𖤐 23 𖤐 she/her 𖤐 theistic luciferian, godspouse, and demonkin 𖤐 personal space to keep track of my spiritual experiences and thoughts 𖤐 nsfw so minors dni
About me: My name is Renée, I’m 23, I go by she/her, I have AuDHD, and am physically disabled with POTS, hEDS, and MCAS. I have other interests, like anime and video games, and I mention them occasionally on here.
I’m a Theistic Luciferian. I have been working with Lord Lucifer since mid-2023, but have had an intense fascination with magick my whole life. I’ve encountered multiple supernatural occurrences and grew up in a house with paranormal activity. I researched Paganism off and on in high school and have always loved learning about mythology. Lucifer has watched over me my whole life, but waited until I was an adult to make his presence known.
I am “godspoused” to Lucifer and value my romantic relationship with him deeply. I consider him my husband and he sees me as one of his wives. I’m able to visit the astral plane and have decent clairs, so I am able to communicate and spend time with him often. Our relationship is more than platonic (this is where posts can be NSFW, so minors DNI with those posts)
Based on my talks with Lucifer and my experiences, I believe that in my past life I resided in the Infernal Realm with him. He created my soul with Prince Sitri and I was a species Lucifer calls infernal cherubs. Infernal cherubs are childish spirits who help out around the Infernal Realm. They stay child-like their whole existence. Because of this, I sometimes reblog posts related to demonkin or agere tags.
This blog is a personal space to keep track of my spiritual experiences and thoughts, as well as a space to engage with others who hold similar beliefs. I was previously using my notes app, but it was starting to get a bit messy/confusing, so this has been a better alternative. I also like reblogging other content that I particularly like, relate to, or feel others should see.
Be kind and respectful or you will be blocked. Do not try and convert or “save” me. You respect my beliefs and I’ll respect yours. I am not responsible for anything Lucifer decides to do to those who disrespect me on his own volition (yes, this has happened lol)
My asks and DMs are open. Feel free to chat or ask any questions as long as you are respectful and kind.
As some of you may know, along with Lucifer, Prince Sitri also created my soul. Therefore, I’ve wanted to work with them. Although when I was researching them, I found that their areas of expertise didn’t really interest me. As a (mostly) straight woman living in the age of the internet, seeing women naked didn’t exactly… excite me. But I’ve learned something interesting about Sitri through invoking and speaking with them, one of their main specialties is the concept of “revealing the unseen/unknown” (UPG). This is why grimoires write about them getting women to take off their clothes or reveal their secrets (also, I believe these grimoires were often written by straight men who wanted these things).
Soooooo I’ve asked Sitri for help getting the content I create for my TikTok and Instagram more views in exchange for offerings. It’s showing my content to others who may otherwise not see it, which I believe is closely enough related. And so far I think it’s worked decently! I didn’t give a time frame, but my views on both accounts have increased.
I was also recently wondering about why, of all of the infernals to create a spirit to balance Lucifer’s solar energy with lunar energy, he would pick Sitri. I believe it has to do with something to do with how the moon is also associated with revealing things as well.
I’m just yapping here lol, but sorry for the lack of posts recently! Lucifer has wanted me to stop putting too much focus onto the spirit realm and put more energy into my temporary life here on Earth. I’ve been posting more on my other socials instead (@cutie.pie.life).
Update: it’s been a month since I posted this and my Instagram has had a ton of growth in the last month! As a result, my account reached 10K followers! Prince Sitri seemed to appreciate this post I made. Ave Sitri ♡
Lucifer: *Explains that Mozart was also an incarnated infernal cherub*
Me (processing and putting pieces together): Interesting. Is that why he loved music and was infamously childish?
Lucifer: Precisely.
Me: Wait… is he going to be living in the realm I’m building for infernal cherubs?
Lucifer: If he wants to.
Me: Is that why you are having me add a performing arts center? And that piano in the West wing of the castle?
Lucifer: It is an inherent trait in your kind to pertain to the arts.
Me: But I could potentially have Mozart himself playing in a theater I built???
Lucifer: Potentially, likely even.
Me: I’m now feeling more pressure on making this realm look nice… Hold on, why wasn’t I born some kind of child prodigy?
Lucifer (sheepishly?): Well… humans aren’t supposed to born with that level of talent. I actually… got in a bit of trouble for that…
Me (amused): Ha! In trouble with whom?
Lucifer: Other gods…
Me (sensing he didn’t want to elaborate): So… are there any other infernal cherubs currently incarnated on Earth I should know about?
Lucifer: Incarnating your kind isn’t done often. It is… rather difficult for you little ones to go through the hardships of adulthood and the cruelties of the human world. It pains me each time.
Me (starting to fall back asleep): That’s not a no, though.
Lord Lucifer has given me/Hillela a task since ascending: to build a realm dedicated to the infernal cherubs. A place for them to reside in and call their own. The realm is located within Lucifer’s Realm, a realm within a realm, I suppose? But like a pocket dimension with its own scenery. I’ve been excited about this assignment, created a big Pinterest board of inspiration.
Now, I want to point out that everyone is capable of creating an astral realm. It just takes enough practice with your clairs, especially clairvoyance. Simply imagine a place, create it in your mind. It can be your dream home or even a recreation of a place you’ve been in the physical world. It’s sort of like Minecraft creative mode, where the only limit is your imagination. I believe when most people pass away without attachments to any specific gods, they end up with this sort of customizable realm. They can do whatever they want there until they get bored or want more soul growth and end up reincarnating.
The difference between the average soul’s realm and my situation is that mine is supposed to house an entire race of immortal infernal children, essentially lol. It is also an honor to have a realm within Lucifer’s. So, I’ve gotten started on the main castle I’m planning on residing in with my staff. I created an entryway, my bedroom, bathroom, closet, and office. Lucifer could tell I was just focusing on my personal areas and was overwhelmed by the idea of actually building an entire kingdom. I admitted to him that I “need help”. So he then told me that he’d get me that help, of course not telling me what he meant by that.
Two mornings later, I wake up to the word “Sabnock” bouncing around in my head repeatedly. With my ADHD brain, every time I drifted off to another thought, that word would come back. It definitely felt like an external force. I finally wake up enough to Google it, thinking maybe it was some pagan holiday I should be celebrating or something, only to find it was a Goetic Marquis who specializes in architecture. So that’s what Lucifer had meant by “help”. His name finally stopped spamming my brain after looking him up.
That night, I reached out to him, forgot to even use his enn or an offering oops. I saw myself as Hillela sitting atop Lucifer’s shoulders as they stood next to each other in a grassy field. I had seen online that Sabnock is one of those lion-faced infernals, so my brain translated that to making him appear similarly to a character from a video game I play who’s associated with lions, lol (Mydeimos from Honkai Star Rail), giving him a sort of golden mane-hair look. I was honestly lowkey embarrassed about that, but he seemed to find it mildly amusing.
Lucifer picked me up and plopped me on Sabnock’s shoulders instead lol. Sabnock seemed less into pleasantries and getting acquainted, and more interested in getting work done. And we got started before I fell asleep. I said I wanted a performing arts center/theater, and it was super cool how an image of the exterior for one popped up in my head. He also showed me a cool design for street lamps. I made a little area with a fountain and discussed some of the general layout that I wanted. Something cool about the astral is that it isn’t bound by the laws of physics in the same way, so interiors don’t have to match exteriors. Buildings can be bigger on the inside.
He referred to me as “your highness” as I sat atop his shoulders and pointed things out. I’ve noticed that I tend to act differently than my human self when I’m Hillela? Like, more carefree and childish? For example, I played with his golden mane of hair a bit, though that’s something adult me would never do with a high-ranking, serious man lol. For the general vibe of the realm, I’m going for a pastel, dreamy look. Lots of cherry blossom trees and pastel architecture, plus a pink fairytale aesthetic castle.
The performing arts center Sabnock showed me had a similar front window to this with that hump design, except without that bottom part, the window was floor to ceiling and the walls were white and not pink: (sorry I think it may be AI, I found it on Pinterest)
I’m curious to hear if anyone reading this has experience with Marquis Sabnock? Or perhaps creating a realm astrally :)
Hey, i saw your post and I want to ask something please don't hate at all, I just want to ask and I'm curious . You said Lord Lucifer and Sitri created your soul , I'm working with Lord Lucifer for two years and I know he can't create any soul, but okay if he created you so you say you are Lucifer's wife because he created you so what connection you have with Prince Sitri he also created you? And you also say your goddess name is Hellila so don't you think you are Helel's wife not Lucifer's. Sorry if it is rude I'm just curious.
Hello! Don’t worry, it’s not rude or disrespectful to be curious about my beliefs. With a lot of the posts I make here on my blog, it’s my own UPG, so it may conflict with others’ UPGs. In my gnosis, Lucifer has the ability to create spirits/souls. To me, this makes sense since he’s the Emperor of Hell. He creates spirits to help him out with tasks around the Infernal Realm (his realm within Hell). I believe that in general, deities, at least the more powerful ones, can create spirits. I think most souls were created by different deities. The type of spirit my soul is is infernal cherub. They are Hell’s version of cherubs. My kind assists the infernals with the more mundane tasks around palaces, giving them a sense of responsibility and purpose, while also completing things that need to be done. These are simple tasks, like setting up tableware for meals or holding doors open for others. They are eternally childlike, so they spend most of their time playing and having fun, while also enjoying expressing creativity with the arts.
My soul wasn’t originally created for the intentional purpose of incarnating as a human, but after more than a millennium in the Infernal Realm, Lucifer decided it was time for my soul to experience more growth and get to see what life in the physical world had to offer. It is rare for my kind to incarnate as humans, as there is a struggle with the disconnect between having a childlike soul and when the human body physically reaches adulthood. Also, life on Earth is extremely difficult compared to the eternal carefree childhood of being an infernal cherub in Lucifer’s realm. He believed I could handle it and decided it was necessary for the development my soul needed as a spirit created to help balance his energy. Unfortunately, my human life has been much of a struggle for me than Lucifer anticipated, and thus has somewhat racked him with guilt for sending me here. But he doesn’t regret it and says he’ll make up for it when I’m back. Things have also been better for me since I’ve been able to communicate with him. He decided to wait until I was 21 to fully reach out, so that way I could develop into my own human adult without his interference.
I’m not Lucifer’s wife because he created me. I’d say I’m more like his daughter because he is the father of my soul. Prince Sitri is more like the mother of my soul; however, they seem to be much less interested in being around me than Lucifer is. Sitri has shown up to me as a more maternal figure, even giving a more feminine appearance in my mind’s eye. I see them as hermaphrodite, though being a deity they can shift between however they want to appear, just as Lucifer can. Lucifer and I being married has to do with him creating my soul as a way to balance his energy, though our romantic connection is something that has developed with my human incarnation. My being able to consent as an adult, which is not something I could do as a cherub. However, the fact that he sees me as both a daughter and a wife is something undeniably taboo to humans. Lucifer does not seem to care about how scandalous our relationship may appear to humans. And that’s not even touching on the ageplay aspect…
I believe Helel is an older name for Lucifer. My soul’s name, Hillela, is actually based off of the name Helel. Hillela’s name means “to shine”, which lines up with her being a goddess of celestial light and literally having this glowing aura around her. When I was trying to figure out the name of my soul, Lucifer did his usual teaching method of not simply telling me and instead making me piece the puzzle together myself. He gave me the first two letters, “Hi”, and said I could figure it out from there lol. And eventually, I did.
Sorry this was so long! I blame it on the fact that I’ve been reading a lot more lately (just finished A Court of Thorns and Roses last night!). When I write things out like this, I end up channeling answers a little. With spiritual practices and beliefs, it can sometimes come down to my UPG versus your UPG, and there is no real way for us to confirm which is true. I’ve found that even seemingly conflicting beliefs can somehow both be true at the same time. The spiritual world of deities is simply beyond our mortal comprehension, and that’s something I’ve learned to live with. Feel free to ask any follow-up questions or for clarification :)
I believe the divine feminine and divine masculine are poorly named, but concepts that exist. Think of it more as the giver and the receiver, yang and yin, the sun and the moon, the day and the night. Or even with sexual intimacy, the top and the bottom. One’s gender doesn’t matter, and spirits can switch between having more of one energy or the other.
As some of you may know, along with Lucifer, Prince Sitri also created my soul. Therefore, I’ve wanted to work with them. Although when I was researching them, I found that their areas of expertise didn’t really interest me. As a (mostly) straight woman living in the age of the internet, seeing women naked didn’t exactly… excite me. But I’ve learned something interesting about Sitri through invoking and speaking with them, one of their main specialties is the concept of “revealing the unseen/unknown” (UPG). This is why grimoires write about them getting women to take off their clothes or reveal their secrets (also, I believe these grimoires were often written by straight men who wanted these things).
Soooooo I’ve asked Sitri for help getting the content I create for my TikTok and Instagram more views in exchange for offerings. It’s showing my content to others who may otherwise not see it, which I believe is closely enough related. And so far I think it’s worked decently! I didn’t give a time frame, but my views on both accounts have increased.
I was also recently wondering about why, of all of the infernals to create a spirit to balance Lucifer’s solar energy with lunar energy, he would pick Sitri. I believe it has to do with something to do with how the moon is also associated with revealing things as well.
I’m just yapping here lol, but sorry for the lack of posts recently! Lucifer has wanted me to stop putting too much focus onto the spirit realm and put more energy into my temporary life here on Earth. I’ve been posting more on my other socials instead (@cutie.pie.life).
