"retelling greek myths” sentence starters
I figured some of the stuff I ended up saying while retelling myths was… intresting enough.
“I don’t think I can trust someone who thinks that a rock looks like their son.”
“They got hit by a rock, but that’s okay. It had to be someone”
“I assume fighting a snake isn’t as hard as you make it out to be. It’s not like they have the hands to throw punches.”
“Damn, that was some poetic shit.”
“No boy will try to date you with a face like that.”
“I’ll pull out your ear hair if you keep talking to me like that.”
“Look, I’m all here for self-expression, but you can’t just walk in here with your tiddies hanging out.”
“The problem is this: He punched some rocks, but when he was done with that he started to kill things.”
“He killed a bunch of stuff and decided he was ready to kill a god.”
“Yeah, Poseidon would hang out in the ocean a lot. Probably because he was the god of the ocean.”
“Shut up. I watched The Little Mermaid. I know all about Poseidon.”
“She looks like a horse.”
“I’m pretty sure that twelve year old is on fire.”
“You probably shouldn’t insult a god’s dick, even if it is very small.”
“Yes, I am the ugly bitch.”
“Bitch, not my twink ass.”
“Furries and twinks have a very similar but shallow dating pool.”
“I can infer from your wide variety of plant ex-lovers that you go to the forest a lot to masturbate and cry.”
“And now on to my favorite Greek myth: Percy Jackson.”
“Like all great heroes, he came from a pussy.”
“I think this calls for a story. It goes like this: Since the beginning of time, the gods liked messing everything up.”
“They threw a temper tantrum, so I sent my kid away to live alone in the mountains.”
“When your husbands cheats on you that much, you should consider marriage counseling. Killing the mistress isn’t proper therapy.”
“I’m coming to learn that only hanging out with ghosts has it’s side effects.”
“Whenever there are Zodiacs, Ted Cruz is sure to follow.”
“If Percy Jackson has taught me anything, it’s that the gods kind of suck.”
“Does Olympus have an Olive Garden?”
izzy806
ellievsbear
