for a friend's bday, someone baked a chocolate raspberry ganache, sweetened only with maple syrup. the chocolate is special. it is from one of the few farms whose products are not distributed by monopoly. it is very dark and very rich. it is cooked with eggs, but no dairy.
i was offered some after the big back piece. 28 needles, all buttons and double weaves. my loving partner traced lines of body paint with a scalpel. during that, a symbol came to me, and i drew it. i wanted it carved into my back. there was lots of blood.
afterwards, to get my blood sugar back up, I was offered some of the ganache. carved and punctured, I said "only if there's blood on it." my friend put a tourniquet on and withdrew ~1.5mL of their blood, with a syringe and needle. they topped the ganache and handed it to me. it was so savory, salty, metallic, the richness of the chocolate mixing with the fresh blood and raspberries. it was decadent.
the next morning, I tried more of the cake, with no blood. it was quite sweet, but not the same.
the mirror forms. the watcher. you observe what makes them laugh. you learn what makes them cry. you emulate emotions that you can’t feel. they find you unsettling.
hammer in hand, you smash the mirror.
the mirror forms. the jester. you’re a spectacle. you’ve learned how to make them like you. you dance for their amusement. they’re intrigued by the things that are wrong with you. until they aren’t.
hammer in hand, you smash the mirror.
the mirror forms. the infinity mirror. you can’t appease, you must become. a reflection of whoever you’re near. a different being in every room you enter. you are everyone, and you are no one. until no one is all that’s left.
hammer in hand, you smash the mirror.
the mirror forms. the abyss. there is nothing. there is no one. you exist as an empty vessel. time stops mattering. you forget what you’ve learned. you forget what it was like to be one of them. you can’t last.
hammer in hand, you smash the mirror.
the mirror forms. the doll. you were found. you were cherished. you were allowed to decide. you were allowed to build a you. you weren’t different, you were special. you began to mean something. you were abandoned.
Binding your swornsister's soul to your blade, that she may stay with you even after her death to revel in your joint battles, is all fine and good until it's been a decade since your last good fight—longer still since any real battle—and she's still in there, and you can hear her crying every night, longing for the grip of your palm and the guts of your enemies. And of course she won't let you be, even in your dreams, appearing there too. Whole and young as the day she died, while you've gotten older and timeworn. Gripping her pretty head by the hair and driving her skull through the chest of some faceless foe, the air is sparkling like diamonds. The blood's all over her and she's smiling at you, fucking blissed-out and naked, because of course she's naked, she's only doing this to fuck with you.
So you take her down off the mantel, and before the sun's really up, just blue-gray on the horizon— reflecting off her, the blade you've never had to clean or sharpen—you stumble from your home. And with your bare feet in the early spring dirt and your bare hand on the leather wrap of her grip, she talks to you again. Denies the dream. Won't admit she's doing it on purpose. Pretending like she isn't the one doing this to you. Playing coy.
Someone sees you, and you see him back. You know him. You always know them. You actually live here, in this shithole town where no one asks that many questions. He nods at you, the gesture of something small and dumb and dead. He hasn't seen your state, not yet. Half dressed and wild eyed with sleep deprivation. Naked sword in your practiced hand.
Haven't had a good fight in a decade. Still true, this guy isn't fighting you. Slip her into him, feel the POP of the skin and fat, the slick glide of the intestines, the clattering of bone and it's already over.
Wrench her up! Tear him open! She's happy. She's there with you.
"Good girl."
You say it into her pommel, which happens to be next to the guy's ear. If he was listening, he dies very confused, but it was just a little dirty talk.
They'll find him in the morning and say he got robbed. Or a scuffle gone wrong. One of his buddies, probably. Or some drifter from somewhere else. Always goes that way. The men who don't know their jobs are to clean up your messes will nod at you in the morning as you pass by on your walk to the docks. Just like he did.
She's back on your mantel for not quite a week before it all starts up again. Not dreams this time, but hauntings. Things thrown and dropped. Odd noises in the dark. Fucking brat.
Good's never good enough for her, is it? She always wants more. Fine. You can give her a little more. Start wearing her around. Show off your jewelry. Invite someone to really try you. And they do. They always do. Can't throw a rock in this world without hitting someone looking to prove anyone can best a swordswoman.
You're at the bar when the rock hits home. He's drunker than you are, face red with it, and his buddies are all behind him jeering while he prods at you. Like you need the provocation. You've been shivering with glee since you saw him stand up. Next time he touches you, you bite him. He's a bleeder, barely nipped at the skin and you're covered in the stuff.
"Jealous?" you ask her, tucked neatly in her scabbard. Now that the idea's struck you, the whole thing lays itself out so neatly in your mind. You throw a punch. She doesn't feel anything. You knock one of his teeth out. She's biting at the leather you've got her in. You break his arm and claw at his eyes and she stays exactly where you have her. She gets to play the cuckold and it's delicious to deny her.
Until one of his dumbshit friends grabs her right from under your nose. Too busy chewing your food? He's a scrawny kid but he's got a good few scars to show for himself, and he's holding her not without any skill.
And-
This is so much better. God she's so fucking hot like that. You can take care of him easily enough, but halfway through dodging and weaving around his swings, you realize what's happening. She's fucking helping him. You're fighting her.
Its good, it's so good. Like having the bitch back from the dead, she can turn even this pimplefaced idiot into her avatar. You shoot the cartilage of his nose up into his skull and he falls into a heap. Didn't even know that could really happen, but it does and you can feel her squirming when you do it.
She got you, once. A little line of pink flesh is poking out from under your eye. It's going to scar nasty. You'll have to get her back for it. Soon enough, you do. Same routine, new bar. Pick a fight with the biggest group of men you see, wait for one of them to take her and then make sure you're the only two people left standing.
She plays dirty. Knows all your tics. It's heaven. She's alive every time you fight her. You're young as long as she's facing you down.
Until you're not. Someone gets you with a chair to the shoulders. Shouldn't faze you, and it's not like he didn't get what he had coming, but… but it takes you months to recover enough to go back out. Then someone hits it again, a year later. Same spot. With a metal pipe. Reopens all the old wounds, and doubles the old pain. She has to intervene, and the guy holding her slips suddenly, impaling himself and his pipe wielding friend in the fall.
You both reach the same conclusion on the limping walk home. This can't go on any longer. You're not keeping up with her. She visits you in your dreams again, this time to soothe you. It breaks something deep in your guts, this kindness from her. Feels to final. Shatters itself and tears you open. The fear you hadn't felt since you were a teenager. Death. Looming over you. Can't bear to lose this. Lose your nights together.
She's got an idea. Just have to find the right instrument.
"And you'll inset the hilt with this." You hand the blacksmith a jewel. "Doesn't even have to be visible, just has to be in there."
"Looks all scratched up," he squints at the near imperceptible script you've carved into the surface of the jewel. That's half the work done, there. The easy half, she reminds you from your hip. You tell her that she had you to do the hard part for her, the little princess.
"Just do it. I'm sure paying you more than enough. Then once it's ready, I want you to wrap it in this," you hand him the cloth. It's stained deep brown with your dried blood. The blacksmith's face pales. "And burn it. while it's still over the blade."
He looks at the money you're paying him, in advance, and then back to you. Wonder if he knows what you're planning?
Two weeks and three days later, it's ready. You watch him burn the wrap. Has his assistant do it. No one talks. There's nothing left to say. You pull the sword out of the ashes—still hot, it burns the skin off your hand, not that that matters anymore—and give the blacksmith a tip. It's more than what you paid in the first place.
"Well then." You were never good with words. "Got a will in my pocket."
Awkward angle, but it'll work.
Trachea to Tits to Navel to Crotch. It's a wonderful sword. Practically cut yourself in two with one swing. Then you're dying. Real fast, the world's spinning around you. Around and around. She's there with you, arm in arm, you're both young again and everything's so beautiful.
Now you've a metal body, rigid and sharp and drinking up the last of your own blood. The swap is instant. You're like her now. And she's there with you. You laugh, but only she hears you. The blacksmith's screaming.
They find your will right where you said it'd be. Pretty simple stuff, you think.
"Give one of my swords to the strongest person left in town. Give the other to the second strongest." Everyone's hesitant, but you're the real deal, a legend by this point, so they do it. Now all that's left is a little nudging from her and you, and soon you'll get to fight again.
The first time your steel meets hers it's better than any kiss. Hotter than any sex you'd ever had, and more intense than any previous fight. Neither of you has to hold back anymore. It doesn't matter if you kill the other, because that wasn't really you at all. Someone else will come along and pick you up and then you'll start again. Across back alleys, dueling halls, and battlefields, you fight her over and over. There are near misses where you kill a thousand men in search of the one wielding her, too much chaos to find each other. You laugh about it between swings when next you meet. There might be decades where you can't make it happen, years sitting in a chest or armory, but you both know that it's only a matter of time. The mountain of corpses you leave behind will grow higher and higher, until it eclipses the sun. Even then you'll still fight her in the dark. 'Til no hand is left to hold you. On a dead world, you'd spark and scrape against each other long into the eternal night.
I think one of my favorite hypnokink icebreaker questions is "what are your favorite words you're horny about?". Answers I've heard include: attentive, break, broken, change, compliant, deeper, docile, drop, dumb, easy, enraptured, fuzzy, malleable, mesmerize, obedient, obey, pliable, pliant, shattered, silly, sleepy, subjugate, submissive, tame, weak-willed, and willing.
Anyway, how are y'all doing and do you have any particular favorites? Hypnokink is on some level a language kink and I think it says a lot about someone what their favorites are. At least it gives you a pretty good idea of which words to whisper in their ear once you've got your fingers on or in them.
So, fun game. One time, pretty early into being play partners I think, I came up with a list of fun words (I believe the list included obedient, docile, acquiescent, malleable, agreeable, pliant, yielding, amenable, maybe some others) and then decided I was going to taunt my tist with the fact that I had these words and make him wheedle them out of me.
And thus began a series of sessions in which he’d get one or two words out of me by various means and I got to feel overpowered and outsmarted. And he was so unbothered by my resistance and so confident that he would get all the words in good time and just going for one or two at a time only meant extending his own fun and cripes.
PLUS it means that now, every time he uses any of the words from that list, it makes me feel extra subby because it added all kinds of associations around being overpowered/outsmarted/overcoming my resistance to each one to the extent that for a while I would whimper and squirm every time he used one and I am probably reinforcing and revivifying that reaction in talking about it now
sorry if this is poorly worded, i'm having a little bit of trouble with words today ^^;;;
is it entirely unethical to do rapeplay without a way out, and is there a way to actually rape someone for real who says they want that actual experience? a darling of mine keeps mentioning that he wants that very badly, wants to not want it, and while my current thought process is just like. working up to that slowly, doing it with safewords at first and seeing how he reacts and feels about it, i wonder if there's a better/more clear way to go about it possibly. i'm really hesitant on the whole thing, not because i don't think i'd enjoy it, but because i don't wanna fuck it up really badly
I don't see any reason at all that this wouldn't be possible, but in all situations this is going to take a lot of work
I come down on the radical side of consent, given the right set of circumstances and enough trust I believe you can consent to being permanently disabled or even killed, I believe you can consent to something without being told what that thing is first, and I believe you can consent to something without the ability to later revoke that consent within set perimeters. Consent is a complicated multifaceted thing
Building up to it is absolutely one way to go about it, getting more data on how he'll react will help with the huge amount of intensive aftercare that will probably be necessary. But then again maybe not, if you build in small enough steps perhaps it won't be so emotionally devastating and he'll handle it just fine. But therein lies a problem; maybe if you acclimatise him slowly it won't feel like rape, it'll be risky without being satisfying
The other option is making a plan that starts with the act and then slowly rebuilds trust. I think the most difficult part is going to be not letting him push you away afterwards. I think what I would do is wear a mask so he can mentally separate the you who did that to him with the you who is caring for him. Make a clear distinction, made more clear be a change of clothes and maybe hair style and tone of voice and so on. Walk out of the room in the caring persona and costume, walk back in as the rapist, afterwards walk out and come back in as the carer again. You'll both know logically but it'll still help him accept your care afterwards. And then make sure you can devote several hours to just caring for him. Maximise the amount of time you spend touching him, if you can do things like hand feed him or put him in a bath and wash him really gently, eventually get him to fall asleep in your arms maybe even with a mild sedative if that's something you're both willing to do. And then for however long it takes after that, days weeks months, refuse to let him distance himself from you. And maybe get him to go to a therapist but they're super hit and miss
If you'd like to message me to talk details my inbox is open
I'd put most of the weight of aftercare on managing to reestablish not the emotional connection/care/comfort but the truth of having agency within your relationship outside the scene/rape.
Personally I'd (from a sub perspective) make sure to have something written down by myself I can reread afterward that says what I wanted, why I wanted it, what I hoped to get from the experience, and the risks I knew I was taking on. Both immediate aftermath of trauma itself and being triggered can involve an emotionally heightened state that comes with a disconnect from the reality and rational thought preceeding and during the events. As well as full amnesia. In my own life recently to manage being triggered I've been writing down my experience immediately after a scene that I can reread when that trauma response boils up (for me very common during drop, not a fun combo) Having something I know I wrote is incredibly helpful to pull me back towards reality, even if it doesn't usually get me out of emotional distress entirely.
I'd also, if I were to do this, put in place specific durations for breaks in aftercare. To be able to say "hey no I really actually need you to go away for a bit" and have that respected would for me be utterly necessary to feel like I have agency still. But yes the urge to push away does need to be accounted for! I'd probably have a 5 minutes "I'm not sure if I want you to go or not", a 1 hour "I am sure", an agreement to decide that evening whether you stay overnight together, including the option for sleeping separately but being available. And then an ongoing plan for frequency of check ins.
I would also want to have an end date on check ins being mandatory, and an agreement where after a certain amount of time I could end the relationship. Being forced to keep in touch if it was genuinely traumatizing could absolutely compound the problem. I think this would be a case where I'd want it explicitly in writing from the person raping me that I could get back in touch after doing so, and see where we could go from there if I did need to end things and then later was up to come back to it. Alternately, could have a "breakup" very extended frequency of check ins, like weeks or months between, so it isn't completely open to their getting back in touch. This one may be more me personally, but it's worth considering how to manage if they really do need space and time, or cannot continue things after.
I also would want the dom to be willing in aftercare to apologize for hurting me, regardless of the fact that it was consented to. "I did it on purpose and you agreed to it and I'm still sorry that you are hurting and that I hurt you" is the kind of thing I like in language, but that's not for everyone! Have an in depth conversation about what language he will find helpful, what comes across as genuine, and phrases or words or sentiments to avoid. Consent is not One Thing, and doing this is inherently removing one facet, one form, of consent. Having something that the victim has written themself would likely be helpful, but Telling them "you consented, you agreed to this, you asked me for it." likely would hurt things. "You did agree to this" may be true, but they also didn't. And to care for them you'll need to be able to hold that seeming contradiction.
Honestly this is one where I worry about the potential mental health harm to the dom/top, as well as the effect that would have on ability to orovide care. The sub is really likely to have a distorted sense of reality after and could say things that are judgemental and accusative and genuinely hurt. And unless you have really awesome friends it's unlikely you could ask for support and reassurance about this from people you know- that I suppose is my other suggestion, talk to folks you think may be up for being support for You, because you will need to have a support system in order to provide support for your sub in the aftermath. Be ready for this to do actual long term harm. Be ready for this to end your relationship. Be ready to work through guilt- no matter how sure you are that you took every precaution warranted and accepted the risks and those risks happened to happen, it can still really stick with you, and rape has a lot of stigma that other forms of assault don't.
I'm speaking to this here as someone who has been on both sides of real rape. Intentions do matter! But this is a fraught territory no matter what.
Do you have any resources you’d recommend for a beginner just getting into knifeplay?
yeah!
first, you don't need to cut people. i personally have two otherwise identical differently coloured knives, black and silver. the black knife has had the edge removed, so it's completely dull. the silver knife is sharp. i have the black knife for intimidation and struggles/fights/takedowns, or any other time i don't have complete control and might cut someone or something accidentally.
How To Safely Dull A Knife For Knifeplay by Jack_Lector: https://fetlife.com/Jack_Lector/posts/11964276
ritualtorture.tumblr.com is a bloodful place, so i'm assuming you do want to cut skin. first, assume absolutely every cut will leave a permanent scar. each person scars differently, so you can adjust your expectations for scarring as you get to know how this person's skin reacts.
next, cleanliness. decide your risk profile for yourself but i'm going to outline absolute best practises. falling short of these exponentially increases your risk of infection.
the skin to be cut - for most parts of the body except the mouth and genitals, disinfect with a chlorhexidine-based treatment. for the mouth, they've got to use antibacterial mouthwash and then not re-contaminate their mouth with food, drinks, or vomit. for the genitals, if you have a pH to be concerned about, use povidone-iodine. it will discolour the skin temporarily; that's the cost of doing business. if no pH concerns, chlorhexidine is fine here too.
IF YOU ARE DISINFECTING NEAR THE EYES, DO NOT USE CHLORHEXIDINE. it will injure your eyes in a way that needs emergency professional medical intervention to prevent permanent vision loss. use povidone-iodine.
the top's hands - wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water. the full happy birthday protocol. do it twice if the spirit moves you. dry your hands with paper towels, otherwise you've contaminated them immediately (handtowels are fine for eating, but inferior for contact with open wounds). your fingernails are still objects of filth even after this ritual, so wear gloves. nitrile is traditional but latex is fine as long as no one has an allergy. i know black gloves are sexy, but pick another colour so that you can see blood contamination. change gloves every time you touch your hair, adjust your glasses, touch their face or clothes, etc.
the knife - this really ought to be capital-S Sterilised in a steam autoclave or with ethylene oxide gas. sterilising at home without an autoclave is really, really hard and most people who say they can do it either don't know what "sterile" means or aren't aware of how they're contaminating their shit. if you aren't married to the idea of a knife, consider buying a pre-sterilised disposable scalpel. if it must be a knife and you can't ask your friendly neighbourhood dental tech or professional piercer to use their autoclave, the next best thing is high-level disinfection.
somewhere to put the knife down - your knife is only as clean as the dirtiest place you put it. same for your gloves: they're only as clean as the dirtiest place you touch. sterile fields are pretty cheap to buy. like, this thing is 99 cents.
next, where to cut. you increase the risk of long-term harm and miscellaneous medical emergencies if you cut in places where important structures are close to the surface, like joints, the neck, the face, and the inside of wrists. get experience on safer parts of the body before you think about cutting there.
the easy beginner places to cut are basically the same as good places for impact. butt, thighs, chest, upper back. you can also do places like the outer arm (the part where hair can grow) and calves. as a guideline, you don't want to cut deeper than 1/4 inch / 6 millimetres on well-protected areas like these. less protected areas get even shallower cuts.
feet and faces both bleed a lot. feet have additional risks for infection because they're in shoes all the time and they get poor circulation because of how far they are from the heart, so that open wound is open for longer than it would be on other body parts. faces tend to be really visible in day-to-day life. you may not want visible injuries where other people can see them and call domestic violence hotlines about them.
if blood starts squirting or pulsating, that's a great sign you've hit an artery and need to call your country's emergency line right fucking now. apply pressure like their life depends on it, because it does.
finally, wound care. if you have done anything to the wound other than create it, irrigate it thoroughly with sterile saline solution to remove cooties. this is messy and can be done in a shower. the only ingredients in your solution should be water and 0.9% sodium chloride. i don't like homemade saline solutions because they aren't sterile, i don't care how long you boiled it, you have contaminated it by the time you pour it into a container.
once the wound has been cleaned (if necessary), put sterile gauze over the wound and apply pressure to stop the bleeding. if bleeding doesn't stop after 5 minutes (don't peel off the gauze to check, you'll rip off the coagulated blood and MAKE it bleed again - if it's bleeding significantly, you will see it through the gauze), remove the gauze and apply a styptic product. i like styptic powder. you can buy styptics from vet supply stores and barber supply stores. continue to apply pressure for another 5 minutes. if it's still bleeding, you should call your country's emergency number and ask for an ambulance.
if you want to minimise permanent scarring and the cut is gaping, you can use butterfly closures before applying wound covering. i've definitely also cut regular bandaids into butterfly closures and it was effective. when you do that, you are compromising the sterility of the bandaid and increasing infection risk.
generally the wound you've created will be bigger than the absorbent pad on a bandaid. pack on another layer of sterile gauze and then tape over everything with medical tape or, if you want something heavy duty, kinesiology tape. you can wrap around the body with vet wrap to secure the gauze, which works best for limbs. i like vet wrap because it clings to itself. the stuff for horses is in nice wide rolls.
keep the wound dressed until it's fully closed and has formed a scab. change the dressing daily or any time the wound starts bleeding again, whichever is more frequent. do not submerge your body in any body of water (pool, spa, bathtub, beach, etc) until the wound is completely healed.
A friend of mine was curious about hallucinogens, a topic I’m reasonably well versed in as a researcher — of sorts — in altered states of consciousness.
He asked if there were different kinds of hallucinogenic drugs. And the answer is yes. While subjective effects vary by way of seemingly slight differences in chemical structure, hallucinogens can be grouped into three subtypes depending on the general character of the experience: psychedelics, such as LSD and psilocybin, known for their “consciousness-expanding” character; dissociatives, such as ketamine, known for their power to disconnect the self from the outside world; and deliriants, the least desirable and most dangerous sort of hallucinogen.
Deliriants are characterised by the manifestation of malevolent entities, the disturbing character of the geometry, the mechanisation and miraculation of the world to sinister ends. These substances confuse, distress, and dement those who ingest them. One trip report reads: “Fade to black, a total closed eye visual world comprised of complex black line grid geometries. A universe comprised of mathematical grids and dread. I hear the bleeps - police codes being said over this dark universe. "Code 1... 6..." These sounds echo through the darkness.”
Dear reader, these are the trip reports I enjoy the most.
“Why would anyone take this?” my friend asked with uneasy laughter. “They sound completely awful.”
Well, I can think of a few reasons.
Imagine your chosen target, a sacrifice to your whims. You tell them that tonight will be bad for them, but you don’t tell them why. You prepare them something nice to eat, something pleasant and odourless to drink, and you suggest a nighttime stroll. What you slipped in there should be kicking in by now. You don’t know what exactly it is that they’re seeing now that they’ve gotten quiet, now that they’re tense and sweating and cowed, but when you tell them to run, they listen. Even though you’ve always been faster than them.
Imagine hunting that prey through the blackened woods, imagine knowing that this time — even if you were never quite sure before — they really are afraid. Your footsteps: the sound of a monster closing in. Your anger: the sound of death itself. How many shadowy figures did they see as you chased them down? How many imagined deaths have they been through in every second since you caught them, dragged them down into the dirt, and pinned them down?
By the time you were through, they would be truly traumatised, wouldn’t they? There’s no way they’d ever really be able to meet your eye again, no way they’d trust anything you fed them. They’d be at your mercy in a way no prey could understand without going through the same thing. They’d be yours — all yours — more awfully and relentlessly than words can say.
“They do sound completely awful,” I said to my friend, and smiled.
something i've been thinking about a lot lately and wanted to ask about is my idea of puppeteering someone with real string by putting needles through their skin, and precautions i might need to take.
I want to take a sub, and put strings through its skin with thin sterile needles, and be able to gently tug those strings. ideally, a hypnotized sub would simply follow that gentle tug and move along with it.
I've been able to do this through rough, calloused skin on my own feet before.
Ideally i'd want my strings to go through the hand or forearm as to give me arm control.
do you have any advice or information so i can make this real?
@ritualtorture is my source for all things needle related
this is so extremely my wheelhouse! i do needle bondage, which is all about string and needles and yanking on things.
this reblog definitely shouldn't be your only source of information. there's a lot that i'm not covering because i have stuff to do today.
it sounds like you want as close as you can get to a sewing needle, which would be a suture kit. it's totally viable in the way you intend for light pressure, but a hypnotised puppet might want to rest their weight on the strings because it releases endorphins. the thread could snap, or it could rip through the skin. i've still never administered sutures so i truly just don't know the limits of that material.
if i were doing this, i would use a hypodermic needle and just tie string around it. it would be more stable in the tissue than just suture thread because it'd be thicker. i'd use something like an 18g (cute shade of pink and stable in tissue under light load) on the forearms and a 21g or 22g on the hand. you could use 18s on the hand as well, but that's more likely to leave a long-term visible scar.
the more needles you put in, the thinner you can get away with, because you'll be spreading the load across all of them. i still wouldn't go thinner than 22. you can easily flex and bend those just with your hands, and that's what it will be doing under the skin. for each 18g needle that i would place, i'd place four 22gs.
good needle placement technique is really something that's best learnt in-person if you can, or at least via video call. always pierce with the bevel up so it looks like this =o> instead of ==>
you generally want to insert the needle at a 30° angle to the skin and exit at the same. i would go shallower on the hands or anywhere with less fat and thinner skin. shallower needles can't hold as much weight. going deeper means you'll be hitting important structures, which will usually cause immediate and delayed medical problems.
the forearm is a great spot for needles. the hand is riskier because the skin is thinner and there isn't as much fat padding. if you practice to the point where you can reliably set out to achieve a specific depth and length and actually do it, you probably have good enough needle control to try out hand needles. it took me about 6 months of consistent practice to get to that point.
you can secure the string to the needles in a lot of ways. sometimes i just do a lot of wraps. usually i do a slipknot because i like to be able to adjust the size of the loop after i place it. don't bother untying anything, just cut them out. if you choose to go bigger than an 18g, you could even pass the thread directly through the hollow of the needle. if you go that route, make sure you avoid the point of the needle because that's the part that cuts through stuff.
the way i do it, there's no real risk of the needles falling out because i'm riffing off of the physics of a gilson hook. but yeah you can absolutely use fish hooks if your bottom is comfortable with non-sterile objects entering their skin, just decide what you want to do with the barb or find a barbless hook. most people snap it off and file down the stump so they can reuse the hooks. i've seen one person on the internet who keeps the barbs on because they hurt more and uses a wire cutter on the hooks when it's time to remove them. i assume other methods of removal are possible, but i haven't seen anything about people doing that to a human.
when you compare your style to a gilson hook, do you mean you run a line under both sides of the needle, and tie off on the string itself (so the knot isn’t actually on the needle)?
different technique, same end result. (let me know if this video embed doesn't work)
i usually tighten the slipknot down so they don't have enough room to wiggle off when unloaded but i can't do that one-handed. i believe this way of getting the string on the needle minimises the risk of needlestick injuries, but i'm not a boy scout or a rigger so i am very open to suggestions
EDIT: embed not working for me on the mobile app, but it does work on browser? https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_t1ucyyaubE1ae1lei_720.mp4 alternate viewing link
in hindsight, tying it first makes a lot more sense, especially when working with small thread i’m not sure i’d want to be fiddling with a knot right next to the needle tip. thank you for sharing, the video was very helpful!
thinking about this further, i think my actual advice for anon would be to consider medical staples (again, more for arms than hands). they’re quite stable once in, stand up well to pressure, and there’s no exposed points adding risk while the bottom moves. i also find staples a bit more approachable for something like this if you aren’t already experienced with needles
I think the risks of punishment are ridiculously under stated in the kink community
I think many dominants feel the need to justify their own sadistic urges and want to be able to punish people for doing the wrong thing but they can't go off and be vigilantes so they bring that energy to kink without ever considering the psychological damage they're doing to the subs in their care
I think many submissives seek out discipline in hopes of being found worthy or being given worth or they get told this is the way bdsm is done and go along with it without ever considering the effect it's having on their own mental health
As much as I believe you can consent to anything and bdsm is about play I don't believe most couples are practicing informed consent when it comes to discipline and I do believe this type of play should stay in scenes not be the basis of 24/7 dynamics
Part of what I love about tumblr is how now if you want to reblog this very interesting point about discipline and consent you also have to reblog the bit where I talk about eating eyeballs
Did you hear everyone in Omelas came out as trans? Isn't that fucking crazy? Yeah including the child, they were really happy for her and they let her out of the dungeon and everything! Yeah I mean well that's where things get unfortunate, because I guess she hurt some people in Omelas, like really badly. I didn't hear all of it but it sounded really bad. Yeah you should avoid the Omelas tgirl. I dunno, you can say that but lots of people get tortured from birth as part of a political allegory and DON'T turn around and hurt people, so it really was that she was just a bad person. Yeah they told her if she says sorry she can go back in the dungeon, which is pretty generous if you think about it. No apparently she walked away instead, which if you ask me just shows guilt, like why else would she run, right? Oh the utopia? Yeah it's still perfect, and they don't even have an Omelas child any more, all they have to do is occasionally identify which one of them is the Bad Tranny
This is the first and most important rule. Do NOT contradict the OP's established world. OP has said, for example, 'Spider girls tying you up with webs!" Or maybe that's only a part of their post, but regardless. Your reply cannot fully contradict this. You cannot say "☝️🤓 Umm, actually, only spider boys have webs!" You can, at most, add nuance, like specifying that certain types of spider girls are based off of trapdoor spiders, or jumping spiders, and may use webs differently. But you cannot contradict OP's rules
Echo OP's pronouns! This is just about language; if OP says "Spider girls tying a girl up with webs" you don't want to make the post about someone tying OP up! That just feels invasive! The counterpart is also true, if OP phrases themself as the center of the post, then your response should do the same!
Don't introduce new kinks (or remove them)! This one can be a bit fuzzy, but air on the side of caution depending on how well you know the OP. Sometimes, adding new kinks is good and fun, so long as you're staying close enough to the original vision. If the OP is talking about spider bondage, you probably don't want to introduce snuff to it. If OP is talking about impregnation, you don't want to do a whole "no babies" kind of thing. Always trust OP's vision. This gets easier to play with if you know the OP well; if you know what kinds of things they like or don't!
For the love of god, say something interesting or keep it in the tags or replies. I'm really jerking you around here, huh? Don't say anything new, but only say something new, blah blah. The essence of it is that you want to make sure that your reply is making the post better. You don't want to take away from the post by contradicting it, you don't want to leave it the same! When you add onto a post you want to do your best to add a new dimension to the world that OP set forth!
"go to therapy" is just new "confess your sins to your priest" which ultimately is "you are having thoughts and doing actions that make me deeply uncomfortable and i think the thoughtcrime police should beat you back in line"
every tgirl you know will become one of three-ish kinds of people. If she's unlucky she'll become multiple kinds of people in a really annoying and bothersome way. they are all different people but they come from the same place: this world fucking hates us and we need to become something that can weather it. she needs to survive and this is how that works
the shrinking violet, who will compress herself into any space as long as you'll have her, you won't even notice she's there. she's in the background. she walks like she's floating on air, and you can barely fucking hear her talk. she is an ant in your world, praying that today you will not notice her. when she is smothered by you, wallflower that she is, she will not cry. crying brings attention and attention means she will die. she accepts her death with dignity and grace, and you will not know her as she spoke not.
the 8itch. she will rip this world to pieces, and has thistle where a heart should be. she is either a grim survivalist who's voice died 5 years ago, or a loud punk who wants blood slicking her hands and someone's gotta pay for what happened to her. she's accepted that you don't want her, and she doesn't want you either, so don't even bother. her body is a fortress at defcon 1, ready to explode into violence whenever it seems like it'll break bad for her. you can't kill her, but only insofar that she is a kind of living corpse running on hatred rather than actually living. you will not know her, because she knows your type. she'd rather not waste her breath.
and third, the maid-knight. do you want something, sir? do you need something from someone? take it from her, sir, because she is a giver. her body is a garden ripe for the picking, and she will have you partake of its bounty. what are friends for if not this? she will never ask anything of you, sir, no sir, that would never do, not when there is more to give. please stay longer, sir, and take more of her. love what she does for you, how useful she can be, how wonderful it is to have her, to need her, feel the chill in the room when she's not there and beckon her to your side. she wants what you want. she needs, what you need. she laughs at your jokes and gasps in stunned awe of your greatness. being around her is a drug and the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh hits are free. she'll show off from time to time, but only to entertain. you'll find her an excellent conversationalist but in the quieter moments, when the wine has flowed and we talk of our younger selves, she is always the first to change the topic. when she dies of exhaustion, it is a tragedy. it was preventable. all she needed was to speak up, to take. you thought her as some kind of person beyond people, able to give from a bottomless well. you thought "how does she do it"? and the answer was she was convinced she did not deserve the bounty she grew, so she gave it to you instead. you will not know her, because she was always interested in what you had to say, what you wanted, what you were, where you were going, what excited you. you will learn later, pieced together from scattered accounts of the partygoers that also took her for granted, that she stood by your side convinced that happy endings don't get to happen to girls like her. it was easier to be happy when other people experienced joy than to hope that joy would come to her.
I've been training my friend to move a little slower. There's so much hustle and bustle. So desperate to respond quickly. To show you're interested. It can be hard to take it slow. To trust you're not going to be left behind. So I've been helping her with it.
There's a little clock on the wall and I'm good at keeping an eye on the second hand. So I started by just rewarding pauses. Whenever she takes her time, I give her a little smile. Tap the table when she does. Hand her a piece of candy after. I haven't told her I'm doing it but the results are immediate.
With time I've been taking longer. To set the behavior I don't want to reward every time. At random and in slowly increasing intervals. Let the animal brain figure it out. Make her experiment for it.
Recently, I've been making her ignore distractions to. I'll turn away or tap her hand. And then reward her for keeping still anyway. I plan to get her used to other people touching her, too. Just in case.
She pauses for about two minutes now. I signal she should pause by using the word "still" in a certain tone. I mix it into sentences and I'm not entirely sure she even knows what she's doing. It's been two months of this. I have more time. We have so much time. I want to see if I can get her up to an hour.
I've been incorporating boredom training into the routine already. Teaching her to amuse herself. It's important to build a good base for these things. We can increase intervals faster after that. She's such a good friend. I can't wait to show off what a good friend she is.
