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@hizerain
An introduction
Welcome to this peculiar little corner of the internet. My name is Henry. Consider this an assortment of curated pieces reflecting a variety of things, including who I am, who I would like to be and general musings on the nature of existence. Enjoy.
About
He/him
INTJ, 8w7
studying mathematics, philosophy and what else currently is of interest to me
fountain pen enthusiast
longform writing
short fragments
why do these higher unit groups feel so finicky? As in, in the abstract I know what they are but I can't seem to do shit with them.
pulling an all nighter (perhaps multiple) bc i got screwed over, here we go
Reenactor throws a spear at a drone
What a time to be alive.
“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.
The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.
Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)
I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it
just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone
Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll
a rough translation of the inscription on the runestone:
On the seventh day of May in the year of 2016 on hither spot the mighty warrior Ulf hath slain a dragon with his spear.
so yeah, happy birthday to this dragon-slaying event and to it only
World Heritage Post
i'd like to test something
what are you?
I am not a math person and I don't do rock climbing/bouldering
I am a math person and I don't do rock climbing/bouldering
I am not a math person and I do rock climbing/bouldering
I am a math person and I do rock climbing/bouldering
("a math person" is a large term. If you enjoy math in any capacity, it doesn't matter if you are highschool student, a grad student, a hobbyist, a tenure-track professor if they still make those, or anything, as long as you enjoy math, you count!)
maybe I should math post on here about NT and arithmetic statistics (my baby, I love her) but also the idea of using latex in the tumblr editor seems like an additional layer of hell i cannot add to my life
I already talked about Watson before in this post, but I’m on my millionth watch of Elementary and had to say something about Sherlock. I think, personally, this is the best iteration of modern Sherlock we could ever have for one reason and one reason only, his humanity. He’s so brilliant, so broken but so utterly human too. He makes mistakes, which is a luxury other versions of him are not allowed. He throws tantrums when cases don’t go the planned way and he gets emotionally overwhelmed. He bickers over things like knitted cozies for his pet. He cooks yorkshire pudding when he’s stressed. He breaks into Joans phone to set annoying ringtones as a competition. He’s curious about the song Who Let Da Dogs Out coz he wants to solve the mystery. He is arrogant, but they didn’t make it his whole personality.
I think JLM’s acting in the scene where he found Irene and where he broke down realizing he couldn’t trust his brain because of his concussion syndrome is so fucking powerful. You can FEEL the heartbreak when he almost breaks down in Joan’s arms in that studio. And he cares for his clients, and for people in general even though he pretends he doesn’t. He gives a homeless man money to find shelter and warmth in an upcoming snowstorm. Any other show this scene would either be overhighlighted or cut altogether, but it’s simply a throwaway scene tucked in that makes him multifaceted. He found a woman locked in a basement and his first instinct was to reassure her and hold her! And afterwards you can see him rattled, the rage on her behalf so loud on his face. The helplessness at the boredom of regularity in the program, the way he can’t cope and breaks down in his own solitude when Kitty finds him in London and Watson talks about Irene and May.
Over and over again you see him in cases involving addicts and he takes care to make sure the anonymity and sanctity of AA is not broken unless absolutely necessary. He cooks for Joan. He makes sure Marcus can afford to keep his mum comfortable. He makes arrangements so the woman Gregson loves won’t be left alone grappling with a terrifyingly lonely disease alone. He watches old movies with Alfredo and tries so hard to have a relationship with Fiona. He doesn’t judge off of people’s sexual or romantic preferences. He encourages Joan to be sexually and romantically free of societal pressure and actively follows his own advice, to the point his sexual partners absolutely adore him beyond simple lust.
And his relationships with his family, my god. Mycroft is his brother and Sherlock would do a lot for him, BUT when his decisions affect Joan, the one person he loves the most in the world, he goes ballistic. Morland has received not a single sentence without acerbic wit dripping off of it but his death causes a rift so deep Sherlock is left reeling from it. He hallucinates the ghost of his mother when he falls ill, at his most vulnerable. She is the part of him that cuts through the haze to tell him he is not well, that he needs help.
I think one of the distinct possible deviations they do from canon that absolutely fucking makes me insane is his relationship with Kitty. A girl so abused and violated beyond belief, and he made sure to give her the tools to survive, the tools to live. Gave her hope. Saved her, in her own words. He would’ve gladly let her destroy a monster, his only qualms were about whether she was okay. And he CARRIED Jamie down the stairs so she won’t bleed out. He writes to her because shes the only one who truly understands. He hears she told her entire criminal empire to mark him untouchable and took it for truth just because he knows she would. He respects her to the point he contradicts anyone who suspects her for a crime too simple.
And Joan. When he said we are two people who love each other very much. It would’ve been So. Damn. Easy. To make them a couple and be done with the nuances but they DIDNT!!! They said if there’s one thing these two don’t do it’s have to sex together. They’re not married they’re not friends but a very much not so secret third thing where they are soulmates. He eases her worries with her mother. She chewed out his dad for neglecting him without him ever knowing, and he risked jail, even the idea of never setting foot in america again for her. Because she is, as he says, his best friend. This depiction of Sherlock and Watson is the best possible dynamic in the Holmes universe and noone can change my mind. I could write entire essays on the character nuances and it still won’t be enough.
i find sherlock's relationship with touch incredibly interesting, especially when its related to watson.
throughout the show, sherlock is seen declaring his undying love and devotion for watson in the most matter of fact way possible. bouncing on his feet, eyes darting everywhere. standing firmly on the ground, gaze fixed on her. frenzied, relaxed. he has told her how much she means to him time and time again, in all ways possible. and yet, when it comes to touch, he shies away. those screenshots are from s5? s6? yeah so by that time he has made FAR more intimate declarations, so it stands to no reason why he should fuckin. poke her to wake her up😭😭
it is no secret that sherlock is, at least to some extent, touch averse. yes he has sex, but casual touch is Not his thing. whenever people get too chummy with him (physically) his look of disgust/unease is very apparent. to him, touch is usually seen as a means to an end. he seems to give touch easily when it's related to sex, something that gives him pleasure (which is also something he seems to view quite clinically. it's less about intimacy and more about endorphins and such. #asexualsherlock). he does not, however, touch people just cause. he doesn't give casual touches easily. so it's easy to say that even if he Does love joan a lot, he doesn't exactly like physical touch in the manner of hugs, arms on shoulders, etc. and its totally valid, because not being comfortable with physical affection doesn't mean you love someone any less.
but! it doesn't end here. sherlock's feelings about touch w.r.t joan evolves throughout the show, just as their relationship does.
in season 2, joan gets kidnapped. sherlock is beside himself, and mycroft tells him that joan is "the person you love the most in the world". very early on its established just how much she means to him.
this scene was so impactful. maybe more so than it would've been if sherlock hugged her or frantically checked her for injuries. the first time I watched it, I was struck by the sheer weight of his gaze as he stood in front of her and just. stared. how he crossed the distance between them and stood so close, and yet didn't touch. silent, but breathing hard. not a single movement made and yet, i could see him almost vibrating out of his skin. the noise in his head finally just. stops. she was here. watson was here. and he didn't need to touch to make sure, no—it was her. he could never mistake her. not her, never her.
and watson must've known it too, known his desperation. after all, she is the one who knows him best. that's why right after she sees him she says "it's okay. it's alright." when he comes close, she doesn't move. doesn't step back to put any distance between them. looks back at him steadily, sees the noise in his head, the trapped chaos in him. softly, softly, she says: "im alright."
this scene from s4 is the first time joan hugs sherlock. he doesn't seem to be expecting it, so he just. freezes. you can see him realising what happened only seconds after the hug got over.
this is so lovely because watson doesn't linger. she doesn't ask him why he isn't hugging her back, because she knows. she knows he isn't really comfortable with physical affection, and that's why throughout the series we see her keep any physical touch limited when it comes to sherlock. but sometimes it just bursts out of her, all that love and relief and just the sheer magnitude of it. so she hugs him, and doesn't wait for him to hug her back. sherlock has always been better with words and actions. she knows without a doubt that he loves her, so this does not bother her at all. but she needs to show it, you know. she can't bare her heart to him through words as often as he does to her. this is how she loves, and she's aware that this is not how sherlock loves, too. and she's okay with that.
what strikes me the most is the surprise in sherlock's face. the momentary glitch in his brain that is always in overdrive. he always does that whenever watson expresses her love for him, when she shows that she loves him as much as he loves her in her own way. it's baffling. he lies and he is rude and he is a lost cause. and yet, she loves him. his dear watson.
scene from s6 that kills me. my god. the way she's hugging him. the way she holds him closer even after he says "my personality has not changed, watson." what sets this hug different from the previous one is the ease of his shoulders. he didn't expect the hug, sure, but he doesn't look like his fight or flight response has been triggered, either. AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S SO SO IMPORTANT ABOUT THIS SCENE??? THE WAY HE DOESN'T TRY TO SHRUG HER OFF. he doesn't hug her back, sure, but look at the placement of his hands. after he gets the text he is holding his other hand in a way that makes sure he isn't jostling her too much. steadying their hug. he isn't the one who says "that's enough now, we have to go." WATSON is the one who pulls back after she's done. he is keeping her steady. HE IS KEEPING HER STEADY. HE DOESN'T WANT HER TO LET GO. WHATEVER!!
s6 again. here, he invites her for a hug, more or less. he is expecting it this time. arms open, grin blinding. he knows she'll come to her. he's home. he's back by her side.
the most interesting part about it is that he still doesn't hug her back. and it's not that he doesn't want to hug watson, no, but it's that it's too much.
it is established very early on that sherlock experiences everything—be it emotions or senses—a lot more intensely than the average person. throughout the series, there are many many scenes where he has declared his love for her and almost every time, he seems stricken. shaken by the intensity of the love he feels for her. it seems to hurt him sometimes, and often overwhelms him. he doesn't have anything against hugs, you see. he hugs marcus back in the beginning of s7, smiling. but never once has he hugged back joan (till that point) when she has hugged him. and i submit that it's not because he loves her less that he doesn't hug her back—it's because he loves her in ways he can't really express. it's bigger than him, you see. this kind of love is unfamiliar to him. what he had with moriarty was different. but this? he is utterly unprepared for this.
and then, crescendo .
no longer will he try to hold himself back. he almost lost her because he wanted to hold himself back, because he told himself that he is too much, too rotten, burning, burning and he thought he will take her down with him because his watson, his dearest watson, is good. she will follow him willingly. he thought he was sparing them both the hurt, and he almost lost her because of his stupidity. so it doesn't matter if his skin feels like it's on fire when he holds her. it doesn't matter if all the love he has labelled and put in neat boxes spill out, messy, never ending. it doesn't matter if she thrashes against his hold and tells him she's fine. it doesn't matter if she fights his love. he's staying. of course he's staying.
never again will he leave her. never again.
One of the things that I love about Elementary is the way they demystify Sherlock’s deduction process. It’s like, most other Sherlock adaptations treat his detective skills as a purely inborn quality: a natural, inexplicable talent that’s completely unobtainable by anyone else.
But Elementary goes “you know what? I bet Sherlock put a lot of work into developing and honing those skills, and that he could teach those skills to other people”. Sure, there’s definitely a measure of natural talent to it, but it’s also made clear that it’s just as much about training and learning and depending on others when your own knowledge and skills aren’t enough.
In the process, it’s also tacitly acknowledged that Sherlock couldn’t be what he is or do the things he does if he hadn’t been born so privileged. The only reason why he’s had the time and opportunity to train himself up, to gather such a deep and varied well of knowledge and to form such a vast network of experts he can contact for help, is because he’s rich.
Without his father’s money, he would have less time to devote to bettering himself as a detective: he would have to worry about earning a paycheck, about keeping himself fed and housed and keeping his living space clean and orderly without the help of a housekeeper.
He would have to worry about the cost of his experiments and equipment and consulting fees and all sorts of other mundane things that would clutter up his mind. He would have to charge for his services, and accept boring cases just to pay the bills.
Without his father’s money, he wouldn’t have his extensive education. He wouldn’t have the Brownstone. He wouldn’t have Watson.
And I think part of the reason why Sherlock doesn’t accept payment for his work is because he’s well aware of the advantages he’s been afforded in life, well aware that his clients don’t always share in those advantages, and compassionate enough to acknowledge it as unjust.
#the best holmes
One of the things that makes Elementary the best Sherlock Holmes adaptation in my opinion is his use of experts. Case involves complicated mathematics? Instead of Sherlock just knowing doctorate level maths for no fucking reason… Sherlock is just like “yeah I have no fucking clue. BUT… I have a buddy named Harlan, let me call him for help.” And then he calls his expert friend and says hey, I need help with this case, I have no idea what I’m looking at.
Fucking stellar.
Instead of being a genius hacker, Sherlock has to do silly and absurd tasks to the amusement of a bunch of redditors so they get him the information he needs.
I've been living life at the speed of light for a few months. Who would've thought that will eventually become exhausting?
admittedly, it does not help that i have like three completely separate parts of my life and that I am acting as an alter-ego in one (an experiment gone terribly wrong, or perhaps, terribly right).
I've been living life at the speed of light for a few months. Who would've thought that will eventually become exhausting?
Elementary tumblr please find me
"I often wonder if I should have been born in another time. [...]
My, my, my senses are unusually, well, one could even say unnaturally, keen. And ours is an era of distraction. It's uh, a punishing drumbeat of constant input. This, this cacophony which follows us into our homes and into our beds and seeps into our into our souls, for want of a better word. For a long time, uh, there was only one poultice for my raw nerve endings [...]
So, in my less productive moments, I'm given to wonder if I'd just been born when it was a little quieter out there, [...] Might I have been more focused? A more fully realized person?"
get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all
reading through the hannibal texts, should really rewatch it
I think the craziest thing that happened in hannibal nbc has to be hannibal's schedule because my man was out there murdering people, eating them all while going unnoticed, working full time as a psychiatrist, playing several instruments + composing music, working with the FBI to lead them away from him, flirt with the guy trying to catch him, have random hookups, cook michelin star worthy meals, host dinner parties, go to the opera, frame the guy he fell in love with for his own crimes, go to therapy (more like yap about his crush to bedelia), spend several hours a week at the swimming pool, spend hours on tattlecrime reading about himself and that's not even all of it je lui tire mon chapeau like we say in french oh yes right he also speaks multiple languages!
can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying
reblog to let prev know you’re proud of them
