A BAD MOON ON THE RISE

"'Baby," I said, "I'm a genius but nobody knows it but me."

[hjmf]

Rome, Summer 2018

[hjmf]

Mira and Frida, Winter 2018

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Blurry Liz, Berlin, 2017

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Al and Anna’s Wedding, Berlin, Summer 2018 

[hjmf]

I cut Max’s hair in the disco bathroom and slice into their ear :0

Berlin, Winter 2018

[hjmf]

Clancy, August, 2017

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Cuddling the summer of 2017

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Nick giving me the eye at Waldo Lake :0

[hjmf]

Me and Blue :’)

[vodni-deactivated20221111]

i love how people will get bored and just start drama like go outside

[khanos-deactivated20170219]

*goes outside and starts drama there*

[saiasus]

Me @ the sun

[skeletales]

It’s a strange thing, how you can love somebody, how you can be all eaten up inside with needing them — and they simply don’t need you. That’s all there is to it, and neither of you can do anything about it. And they’ll be the same way with someone else, and someone else will be the same way about you and it goes on and on — this desperate need — and only once in a rare million do the same two people need each other.

Madeleine L’Engle (via seelenlos)

[hjmf]

i'll give blood tomorrow. i dont work so i wont be too tired and i will be able to just recover all day. and the next. i have two days off in a row. but see i like to work i like that certain places on my feet hurt after eight hours i like cleaning regridgerators and the sound coffee makes filling the sides of paper cups i like looking for straws and even swiping serfaces im so useful im so good at it. i'll give blood tomorrow because i dont work and therefore will not be useful to anyone or anything but a pint of my blood saves like at least two lives right? just one? that's fine. then i can lie in bed and make more blood. so i can wipe counters. i'll give my body and sell my time for about minimum wage and i'll be older soon.

[hjmf]

[tagongblognimaia-blog-blog]

[hjmf]

we'll sit on the kitchen floor and drink milk

you're the russian my mother learned in college

good to know in case a bomb went off

but i don't live in a world with worst scenerios

i said that everything created by man will be made in his image

lit veins illuminate black land from the window of a boeing 747

the proffessor studies economics to know what his wife wants for her birthday see these things are simple we are the everything we made

[hjmf]

At a seven eleven in Hong Kong the boy that rang up my purchase of Tigre's and pork rolls told me I'd have luck in the year of the snake

On a bar stool in King Henry the VI in Hampstead Grant Kennedy said that clever people live forever

On the metro before the Madeline stop the guy sitting next to me slapped a kiss above my mouth and whispered bon anee

In the 4 o'clock rain in Singapore Ling Lee grabbed my dripping blonde locks and exclaimed that what strange beauty

At a breakfast table in Hanoi, John said he thought I looked like a proper brit

Smashing twenty two's on picnic tables in Creston park above 39th we decided to be friends for a summer

On a bed I'd been to twice he said he'd never felt like this before and I said I had

The boardwalk of Venice beach she said she loved LA and I thought about all the ways that we weren't similar

Walking out of the art museum I found a surprising feeling of contentment and I thought about how they were right

The year of the clever snake, the new year of a strange beauty where a proper summer brought a bed and then there was LA and all I call it now, this year I was 19. It's the year of the cigarette. It's the year I was alone. It's the year I walked to keep time to the rhythm of lives passing around me. The year of riches and begging of healing love and blinding hate. and it was only my 19th. they ask me why I am tired. I tell them I just need a cigarette.

[hjmf]

When I was small I though that everyone had their own moon. Their own sliver in the night sky that followed them home in the backseat of a car. When I was not so small I thought the moon was fullest when I was happy, or maybe I was just happy when I looked at it. When I finished growing I knew the moon was the same everywhere I could go, it would never leave me and I would never leave it. Now I think that the moon might be the only one who knows truly what it is to be human. Cratered by imperfections, cold, alone and brilliantly beautiful.