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MASTERLIST

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine (Sequel to Everything to me) Paul Lahote

Chapter One: The Mastered Art of Charm

Chapter Two: Run for the Hills

Chapter Three: Glorious Muscles and the Smell of a Sweater

Chapter Four: Secret Skills

Chapter Five: Pit

Chapter Six: Dreaming of Dreamboats

Chapter Seven: Gravity’s Vendetta

Chapter Eight: Battles and Bonds

Chapter Nine: A Muddle Head

Chapter Ten: Fan Mail

Chapter Eleven: Protectors

Chapter Twelve: Sunshine and Pine

Epilogue

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Epilogue

1.5 Years later

I pull on Paul's hoodie that I'd claimed over my head, before trudging the rest of the way to the beach. I'd made plans to meet Emily on the beach to catch up. She'd been so busy chasing her little son around lately that the two of us hadn't had much time to talk lately.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

Em: Hey im in our usual spot

I'm still looking at my phone when I round the corner to that spot. It's the familiar scent of Pine, and fire and Paul that pulls my attention up.

Where I'm expecting to find Emily curled up in a blanket in the sand, I see a completely different sight.

Blankets and pillows are piled on top of each other in a nest. White lanterns and fairy lights twinkling in a halo around it. The orange hues of the sunset cast a soft glow over the whole thing. But the most beautiful sight is Paul standing in front of it all. He's wearing dark jeans and a henley shirt, sleeves pushed up his arms. I'm completely frozen taking it all in, until Paul reaches his hand out to me, silently calling me forward.

"Hi beautiful." He smiles down at me. Our hands finally meet and he pulls me into his chest.

"Hi! I didn't know you were coming to the beach tonight. I'm actually here to meet Emily. You seen her?" I turn my eyes up to look at Paul. I really try to keep a straight face, but Paul can see the joke in my eyes. He narrows his eyes and shakes his head at me with a smirk.

"Come sit with me." Paul releases me to guide me down into the nest of blankets and pillows.

"Is there some sort of special occasion we're celebrating that I'm not aware of?" I ask.

"Not yet." He says, and my heart starts pounding at the implication.

The sunset has shifted to a dark red, and I'm sure it's stunning but I can't tear my eyes away from the intensity of Paul's gaze.

"You know Jacob used to always talk about the imprint like it was a curse. He said you didn't belong to yourself anymore. That it made you feel things you wouldn't normally feel. But Lucy, I have loved you for far longer than either of us have been a part of this world. And I have never felt more like myself than I do with you. The only thing the imprint did was give me the kick in the ass I needed to actually make a move." I chuckle at that, tears running down my face as he continues. "The ancestors knew what they were doing. You are everything to me Luce. I want to spend the rest of our lives trying to be the same for you, if you'll have me." Paul shuffles beside me, turning in place to prop himself up on one knee next to me. One hand reaches into his pocket, pulling a small velvet box from inside. The other hand reaches out to take hold of my trembling one.

"Lucy, will you m—-" I shoot up from my place on the ground and tackle Paul in a hug.

"Yes!"

Paul is a chuckling mess on the ground beneath me. "You have to let me finish my question! I could've said anything!"

I pull up and plant my hands on either side of him, looking down at him with a tearful grin.

I can see in his eyes he's deciding if he's going to say the joke in his mind. But the heaviness of his real question seems to bring him back to earth. He slides his hand up to hold my cheek, my face leaning into his touch.

His eyes are completely shining with joy and love. "Will you marry me?"

I lean down slowly. My lips barely brushing his and whisper,

"Yes."

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Twelve: Sunshine and Pine

I'm still staring at the pieces of vampire on the floor. I'd mourned the death of my mother so long ago, moved on from it. And this thing lying in front of me wasn't my mother. But seeing the lifeless look on her face has my head spinning. Somewhere behind me I can hear someone building a fire in the fireplace. I knew once we got to that step we'd have a very narrow escape window. I'd experienced the choking smell of burning vampire before and it would be a matter of minutes before someone caught the scent.

"Leah? What's going on?" My dad's confused voice is what finally snaps me out of my trance.

Whipping my head around to see him rubbing his head. He looked like he was waking up from anesthesia or something.

"Dad?" I whisper.

His eyes blink open slowly, and he seems to have trouble focusing on my face at this distance. I take quick steps to close the gap between us and kneel in front of him.

"Lucy. Where are we? What's going on?" He scans the room for some sense of familiarity.

"Italy." I reply.

His eyes nearly bug out of his head. "Italy?!" It's then that his eyes land on my mother's lifeless face. His breath catches in his throat. Tears fill his eyes, and with a heavy head he lets them fall freely at the sight of losing his wife for the second time.

—-------------------------

We'd been able to make it out of the city and onto a plane with no interruptions. The plane ride home was filled with whispered explanations to my dad. He'd remembered my mother showing up at his door and trying to convince him to come live with her in Volterra. He'd explained that he couldn't be that far away from me, and that he didn't want to live in such a dangerous place, the last thing he'd seen was my mother's blood red eyes luring him into blackness.

Sometime during the flight, the three of us convince my dad to come back and live in LaPush so that he's protected by the pack. It doesn't take much convincing, he himself was a shifter a lifetime ago. He knows the strength that lies in the promise of protection.

When we finally reach LaPush, the pack is waiting for us at Aunt Sue's house. And after a quick run down, and many jabs from everyone that we all reeked of bloodsucker, we all parted ways for the night. With no extra bed, my dad set up camp in my bedroom. I think the intention was that I'd sleep on the couch, but after seeing Paul linger at the door, rocking back and forth on his heels anxiously, Aunt Sue silently shoved me out the door with him.

I'm tense for most of the drive to Paul's house. He can feel it, and his hand hasn't moved from my leg, thumb brushing stokes into my skin.

"I'm not going to ask if you're ok after all of that. Nobody would be. But baby, can you talk to me? Tell me how you're doing?" Paul's voice is thick with concern.

If I'm being totally honest, I don't know. And my words are hesitant when I speak up.

"I think I'm mostly just shaken up from almost losing my dad... Seeing her lunging at him like that. Knowing what she wanted to do. I don't know. I think that's going to stick with me for a while. But I know he's going to be safer living close to the pack again."

"I'm glad he's coming home." Paul is quick to agree, squeezing my leg. "It's really amazing to see how much you guys love each other. I'm happy he'll be closer to you." There's something longing in his voice, but it's quickly overshadowed by the look in his eye when he looks over at me. I can't help but smile at him.

"Thank you for coming with me. I love you." I say.

"I love you too, baby." A grin lighting up his face. "And I'd like to have seen you try and fly across the world and into a leech den without me. It would've been some comic relief at least."

"Hey, try me Lahote. I'm a werewolf you know." I raise my eyebrows at him, a smile still resting on my face.

—-----------------------

The second Paul's front door shuts behind us, I feel his arms wrap around my waist, chin resting on my shoulder. The normal comfort that comes with his scent never comes though. And I'm left wrinkling my nose up at the sickly sweet smell of vampire lingering on him.

"Do I smell as bad as you do?" I ask, humor laced in my words.

I feel Paul's lips turn into a smile against my skin as he takes a dramatic inhale.

"You do. It'd be funnier if the scent didn't make my skin crawl."

"Shower with me?" I turn to look at him over my shoulder.

"If I ever say no to that, something's horribly wrong." He says with a smirk, pulling me towards his bathroom.

Paul leans in to turn on the water, steam pouring through the gaps in the curtain. He turns around and comes to stand between my legs where I'm leaned on the counter. With the softest touch I've ever felt from him, one finger brushes my fallen hair behind my ear. His hand drops to my waist and slowly lifts my shirt above my head. There's nothing sexual in the way he undresses us. But it's so intimate my breathing picks up.

After completing his work he gids me under the hot water of the shower, and we slowly and sweetly wash the darkness of the trip away. Until we smell of nothing but Sunshine and Pine.

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Eleven: Protectors

You'd think at this speed the trees would be reduced to streaks of green. But not to the supernatural creatures that speed through this forest. I see every detail the whole run to the Cullens house. Once I'd shifted my mind had connected with Leah's and after a brief bout of cursing my mother on my behalf, she'd thought of Esme. There's no way I'd be able to afford a plane ticket to Italy. And while I could run and swim there, who knows how long that would take. I didn't know how long ago my mom had taken my dad, and I didn't want to add anymore time that I needed to. So I took off in the direction of the Cullens house, Paul and Leah hot on my heels.

Esme, Carlisle and Edward are already standing outside when we break through the treeline.

"Seth called us while you were running here. We hope this is enough. Anything we can do to help." Carlisle says, gesturing to the duffle bag in Esme's hands.

With Edward there to riffle through my head, he translates my thoughts out loud for them to hear.

"Thank you. Please know I plan to repay you when I can. "

Esme starts walking towards us. "Oh no! Please take it. We want to help you save your family, as you helped us save ours. There are already plane tickets for you in this front zipper. For the earliest flight we could find. It leaves soon, you should leave now if you're going to make it." Esme slips the strap of the bag into my mouth.

"I don't know what to say... Thank you." The sight of Esme standing several feet below me grows misty with the height of my emotion.

She reaches her hand out to rest on my cheek. "Go. Quickly now." And with one last nod of my head, I turn back into the forest.

------------------------------------

I can't believe the thought that Esme put into packing this bag. There's a change of clothes for all three of us, toiletries, and an absurd amount of cash. I hug it close to my chest while Paul weaves his way through the traffic outside the airport in Italy. I can see the silhouette of Volterra in the distance. This is the farthest I've ever traveled in my life, and the tension of the situation had me fidgeting in my seat the entire trip. I've barely said a word, and I can feel that it's driving Paul into madness. He keeps glancing over at me like I might explode at any minute, and honestly sometimes it feels like I might. Putting three freaked out werewolves in a pressurized container in the sky might not have been the best idea in retrospect.

"Ok Lucy, maybe we should start talking about a plan." Leah pipes up from the back seat, breaking the tense silence.

"Well my mom picked up my letter from a PO box. I have the address. I figure we'd follow her scent from there. I hadn't thought much past showing up at her door after that." My voice was just loud enough for them to hear.

"Oh perfect. I'm sure we'll just ring the doorbell and she'll let us right in, hand over your dad and off we go!" Leah quips.

"I don't want you guys to come with me. I won't let you walk into danger like that." I say, whipping my head around to Leah.

Paul lets out a growl. "Not a damn chance Lucy. I don't leave your side."

"You think we flew all the way out here with you to take in the sites? Get your head out of your ass. We love you, and we love your dad and we're going to get him and all go home together." Leah is almost shouting.

I reach one hand out to rest on Paul's leg, and throw the other back to grab Leah's hand on my shoulder, giving them a squeeze to let them know I hear them.

--------------------------

The sickly sweet smell of vampires runs in different tracks all over these damn streets. We were able to pick up my moms scent at the address she left in her first letter. But keeping it the whole way proves a difficult task. There are an insane number of different vampire scents weaving together through this city. None of these people have a clue the horror show they spend their lives in. I'm convinced I've lost my moms scent in the cloud of vampire stink, when a gust of wind blows the scent of my father into my brain. My back goes straight in anticipation and I tip my chin towards it as a cue for Paul and Leah to follow me.

We follow a winding path through the city, to a small house tucked away on the outskirts. The scents of my mom and dad mingle together all the way up the cobblestone walkway to the door. Paul is whispering at me to slow down and take a second to think about this, but I'm already turning the doorknob and bursting in. Any thoughts of stealth I'd had vanished at about hour three of our journey. The need to see my dad with color in his face, heart beating was too powerful for anything but brute force. I can hear the thud of a heart and hope and pray that it's his. The sight I'm greeted with when I turn the corner brings me relief and dread all together.

"Lucy, you made it after all." My mother's voice rings out. Just like Rosalie's beauty, my moms voice puts me on edge, like the honeysweet trap it is.

My father is sitting on the couch, eyes glossed over. Whatever trance my mother's put him in seems to be affecting him a lot more than it had done to me.

"What'd you spike his coffee with?" I spit at my mother.

"You should be careful how you talk to me, Lucy. One of these days that sharp tongue is going to get you into trouble you can't get out of." Her eyes become hard at my snarkiness. But she turns her gaze to my dad and keeps talking. "My gifts affect humans much more than they do supernatural beings. The mind of a human is weak, malleable, defenseless."

"Is this really what you wanted? What, you thought you'd brainwash us both and play house with your practically comatose family?" I snap.

"What I want is to keep my family where I can protect them. There are dangers coming that you couldn't even begin to comprehend."

I can't help the laugh that bubbles out of my mouth. "Really? Dangers? Dangers that might kidnap you and take you across the world against your will... poison your mind so it's not your own... You see what I'm getting at?"

"You have no idea what is to come, Lucy. I needed you both here where I could keep you safe. My power is unmatched. My mind is capable of amazing things"

The cautious tone in her voice makes me wonder what she knows that we don't. But the pure arrogance that follows brings a rage burning in my chest.

I move to step closer, but Paul's hand cinches down on my own while Leah's arm simultaneously flies across my chest like a mom in a car.

"In case I haven't made myself clear, we don't need your protection. You're the biggest danger in our lives right now. I'm not sure how you think bringing my human dad to this city is safer than Forks. I can barely breathe with all the vampire fumes in the air. It fucking reaks of leech."

My mom hisses beneath her breath at the insult, which brings out a protective growl from Paul.

"Because I am in control here. I am a high ranking member of the Volturi guard. Aro and Caius trust me. Forks is not the safe haven you believe it to be. You needed protection." My mom still seems to be hissing, her words are so sharp.

"Lucy has protectors." Paul snaps, he's clearly teetering on the edge of control and rampage.

"Ah, the boyfriend. The one who took my Lucy from me."

"Excuse me, nobody took me from anybody. You left me long before Paul came around." I glare at my mother.

Leah, who'd been quietly observing, assessing the situation, couldn't hold her tongue anymore.

"What happened to you? You aren't the Aunt I knew."

The briefest flicker of sadness flashes across my mother's face, but it's quickly replaced by a stone face. "A lot happened in the beginning of this life to make me this way. I'll spare you the details. The Volturi pulled me out of a very dark place, gave me a purpose."

Any sign of weakness she'd shown was long gone.

"So you're going to keep Uncle Joel here, paralyzed... for how long?" Leah asks.

"Oh, no no. I'm going to teach him to defend himself. I just needed to get him here because it's the safest place to do it."

"What do you mean?" Paul says. But I think I might know what she means, and my heart is in my throat.

"Well I can defend myself. Lucy is supernatural, she seems to be able to handle danger. But Joel is just a fragile human. That's no way to make it through this world. He'd want this." My moms words send a shiver down my spine.

"Don't you fuckin dare." My voice is dripping with venom.

"He'd want this? Really? Did you ask him before brainwashing him?" Leah is just as angry as me.

"Nobody asked me, but I'm quite content in this life." My mother says with a smirk. "I was just about to do it when you came bursting through my door. Which, by the way, I raised you better than that." She takes slow steps towards my father.

"Stop." Is all I can get out. My entire body is trembling so hard, my hair is starting to come loose from my ponytail. Her hand reaches out towards my dad at lightning speed and I lose it, my wolf exploding out. I lunge the last few steps towards her, throwing my muzzle at her and knocking her as far back as the room allows. At a blinding speed, she's twisting and twirling around trying to get past me. I hear Paul and Leah shift from somewhere behind me as well.

Leah plants herself in front of my dad. And Paul flanks my mother, snapping at her.

Before I can react she's staring into my eyes and I feel a familiar pull. But we've done this dance before. I know what to expect. Instead of letting her pull me into her mind, I focus on the beating hearts around me. The soft thudding of the three hearts of the most important people in my life. And I'm able to keep my mother at bay long enough for Paul to crash into her, knocking her to the ground.

She clearly spent most of her time training with her gift. Her game was mental, from a distance. The Volturi had some strong offensive players, they probably never even thought to teach her to fight like this. She'd been so focused on overpowering me with her gift, she hadn't thought to keep her guard up to the other physical threats around her.

My mother's voice is slightly strained from the weight of Paul's foot on her chest. "Lucy, it has to be this way. He knows about us. It's our only law. Aro will kill him."

All three of us are growling at her now, deafeningly loud.

My mother snarls and uses all of her strength to wiggle loose from Paul's grip. She manages to wiggle free and fake Paul out to slip past him. She's in the air jumping past me, and I launch myself at her, snapping my jaw around her leg. Leah leaps forward to lock her teeth into my mother's shoulder. The deafening sound of screeching metal rings in my ears as the two of us come down on the ground hard, and watch as each piece of my mother comes down beside us.

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Ten: Fan Mail

The smell of bacon stirs me from my sleep. It's been a couple weeks since our talk in the forest. It didn't take long for us to start sneaking into each other's rooms again and I'm so used to waking up tangled in Paul's arms, that in my still half asleep state, I'm genuinely confused that I don't find him when I turn over. When I finally clue in that he must be the reason for the bacon smell, I shuffle out of bed. After a quick stop in the bathroom to make it look a little less like a bird has nested in my hair, I wander into the kitchen to find the gorgeous sight of Paul's bare back, pants hanging low on his hips, making me breakfast. Leaning against the doorway, I bring my bottom lip between my teeth and take advantage of the fact that he hasn't noticed me yet. His hair is tousled from sleep, and the muscles in his back ripple each time he moves to flip a pancake. He's wearing light gray sweatpants, the color making him look particularly tall, dark and handsome. I let out a low whistle when he bends over to grab something.

"Happy birthday to me. I don't need anything else. You just keep doing that and I'll just stand here and watch." Paul is chucking at me now as he saunters over to me. He's walking slow on purpose so he can do exactly the same thing to me, his eyes raking up my body. All I've got on is one of his tank tops.

"Well good mornin' birthday girl. How're we feeling today?" He asks, bringing his hands to my hips.

"Oh, we're feeling great. Days off to a solid start already." I say with a smirk, my own hands slipping past Paul's hips to grab playfully at his ass. Paul shakes his head with a chuckle.

"Nuh-uh beautiful. It's my turn to spoil you all day."

"And how do you plan to do that?" I ask.

"Well, I thought something for you to eat was a good place to start." He said, slowly backing me towards the kitchen table. "Something for me too." Paul's arms scoop under my thighs to pick me up onto the table. Kneeling down onto the floor he hooks my legs up over his shoulders. The last thing I see is a smirk on his lips, before I'm falling back onto the table.

—-----------

The soft sound of the radio fills the truck. I'm comfortably nestled under Paul's arm, in the middle of the bench seat. After spending a good chunk of the day "spoiling" me, he'd finally coaxed me out of the house and over to Emily's. I'd told him I'm not a huge birthday person and that I just wanted to spend the day with him. To which he'd responded that Emily WAS a huge birthday person and that he'd been totally overruled. So I'd spent the evening in Emily's backyard surrounded by my pack, Emily making a huge fuss and shoving cake in my face.

It had ended up being pretty nice after all, but after the weight of my head on Paul's shoulder started getting heavier, he'd declared the birthday girl needed sleep.

His hand is gliding up and down my arm while he drives.

"Did you have a good day?" He asks.

"Mmm best birthday ever. Cause I have the best boyfriend ever." I hum, twisting my head to plant a kiss on his cheek, his dimples on full display in a soft smile. "Hmm. Boyfriend doesn't seem like a strong enough word, but going around calling you my soulmate seems a bit intense." Paul chuckles.

"Oh I'm sure one day we'll come up with a different word." The way he says it makes me feel like he knows something I don't, but he keeps talking before I can think too hard on it.

"You get everything you wanted?"

"You, and our pack, and cake. What more is there." I think it over for a second and my eyebrows pinch together. "Actually, I never heard from my dad. Weird."

"Why don't you give him a call when you get home. I'm sure he has a good reason." Paul replies.

"Yeah I think I will." Paul turns the truck into my driveway, coming to a stop in the light from the porch. "You coming in?"

"I just have to run to Jared's real quick and then I'll come back." He mumbles into my hair, planting a kiss there.

I turn my head to look at him. "Ok. Thank you for today Paul. I love you." His chocolate eyes melt at my words.

"I love you too beautiful." And then his lips are on mine in a short but deep kiss. "I'll be back as fast as I can."

I plant one last kiss on his lips before climbing out of his truck and making my way into my house.

Aunt Sue is sitting on the couch when I come in, she lifts her head from her book and smiles at me.

"Hey Luce, good day?" She asks.

"Great day. Just gonna run and call dad quick before I go to bed." I say on my way to my room.

"Oh I just tried him before you walked in hon. Straight to voicemail."

My face scrunches with concern. "Weird, he's never missed my birthday before."

She stands up and comes to put her hands on my shoulders. "I'm sure he's got some good reason why he's not picking up the phone. I'm sure he didn't forget. Probably having problems with his phone or something. We'll try him again in the morning." She smiles at me before wrapping me in a hug.

"Happy birthday sweetheart. I love you." Aunt Sue's hand rubs my back before she lets me go, turning to her room. "Oh hon, you got a few birthday cards in the mail. I tossed them on your bed."

"Thanks Aunt Sue. Night." I say, already halfway to my own room. Clicking the door shut, I turn to see 3 envelopes stacked on my bed. After getting ready for bed, I scoop them up and curl into a ball under my covers.

The first is a goofy card from my Grandpa in Seattle, a crinkled twenty stuffed inside. Classic.

The second is from Emily, Kim and Leah. I can't help the smile on my face. I just saw them in person, but they still had the thought to send me a birthday card in the mail. It looks handmade and the message is so sweet it leaves me sniffling a little.

My head snaps up as my window starts sliding up, and Paul's form is ducking into my room.

"Hi! That was quick" I greet him with a sweet smile. He makes his way over slowly and dips his head for a kiss. "But I still missed you." I absentmindedly tear open the last envelope.

Paul grins down at me. "I missed you too." He kicks his shoes off and strips down to his underwear before sliding into bed beside me. "Whatcha doing birthday girl?"

"Just reading my fan mail." Paul gives me a sort of sideways look and I chuckle. "Birthday cards." I offer as explanation and wave the last card in front of him. I finally look down at it to see who it's from and my heart stops. It's the familiar but unfamiliar curve of my mother's handwriting. Paul feels my mood shift and sits straight up next to me. My eyes are locked straight onto the card in my hands, so he peaks over my shoulder to figure out why, growling when he sees it.

Lucy,

It saddens me that you feel that way. I know in time I can make you see. We can be a family again. I have your father here in Volterra already. He didn't want to come at first either, but I can be very persuasive. Come join us.

Happy Birthday,

Mom

Paul's eyes snap up to me the second he's done reading. My entire bed is rattling with the violence of my body's tremors. He doesn't even try to calm me down. He just backs into the corner of the room as I let my anger and terror take control, the crack of my bed frame echoes through the house.  

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Nine: A Muddled Head

The relief I feel when our spot comes into view is palpable. What I can't explain is the sinking feeling in my heart that follows. Was a small part of me hoping he'd be here? That he'd be magically waiting for me?

I know I could just go find him at his house, or at Emily's. But I can't just gloss over everything that's happened. You can't disagree on something so huge and just run back into eachothers arms. But fate has intertwined us forever. And I miss him so much it physically hurts. So I need to know why he chose the way he did. So that I can make sense of it.

I pull out my phone and start typing out a message to him. I've only typed half of it out when a twig breaks behind me.

"Lucy?" Paul's voice breaks, and I let out a shaky sigh before turning around.

"Hi." My voice is tentative, unsure how to proceed. All I want to do is run to him. Wrap myself in his arms and forget everything for a while. Paul takes a hesitant step towards me, like he wants exactly the same thing. I nod at him and he takes the remaining steps so fast I barely have time to take a breath before I'm exactly where I wanted to be. His warmth and scent flood my senses and my heart is absolutely singing. Paul's shoulders start to shake with silent sobs and I pull back just enough to rest my forehead on his.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Lucy. For what I said when you left that day. I was so angry at you for leaving me. I wanted you to be angry too, to stay and fight. But the way I hurt you... Lucy I will never be able to forgive myself." Paul has clamped his eyes shut, and I can see that he's beating himself up. Probably replaying the moment, like I've replayed it so many times myself.

I run my hands up his chest to rest them on his face. "Hey, look at me." It takes a few moments of stroking my thumb on his cheek before his eyes open, staring pleadingly at me.

"I forgive you." The words hang in the air for a moment. Paul takes a deep shaky breath, before pulling me into his chest again. If it weren't for my own supernatural strength, he would've crushed me into him. We stay like that for a moment, until Paul's breathing returns to normal.

"Can we sit down together and talk about it? I don't know if I'm ready to go straight back to where we were before we at least do that." Paul hums in agreement before unwinding himself from me, slipping his arm around my shoulder instead. He doesn't want to let go of me, which is perfectly fine by me.

We curl up on the ground, backs resting against a fallen log. We sit in silence for a moment, neither wanting to disturb the peace. It's me that finally breaks it.

"I think I did the right thing. I don't regret protecting Renesmee." I say keeping my eyes fixed on the forest floor. I can't seem to look at Paul, cause I feel like that's not at all what he was expecting. His apology was so beautiful and emotional, I feel like I should be giving him the same. But I'm not sorry for my choice. "She's so amazing and gentle, and I'm so excited that she's a part of our pack. And I'm so happy for Jacob. It was such a beautiful moment to witness" I finally turn to meet Paul's eyes. "But I am so sorry for leaving you. I never meant to hurt you. I felt like there was this big black emptiness trying to swallow me the moment I walked away. It took all of my willpower all of the time not to run back to you." My face is streaked in tears now, and Paul's hand comes up to gently wipe them away. "I couldn't give up this fight though. And I really need to understand your side, Paul. Why did you choose to fight?"

Paul takes a deep breath, his eyes boring into mine, and he doesn't hesitate at all. "For you. It's always for you Lucy." His hand falls from my face only to grab my own hand, absentmindedly playing with my fingers. "I've heard stories. Legends of leech kids that were totally uncontrollable. Just imagine a tantrum, but instead of, I don't know, throwing toys or some shit, the kid slaughters people. And when it's hungry, can kill for blood.

When I saw what Jacob was thinking that day, how this kid was going to be at least half leech... I saw red Lucy. I saw this kid wreaking havoc on LaPush and on forks and god knows where else. Killing everyone. Killing you. And I just couldn't let that happen. It just wasn't worth the risk to me. Not when it's your life we're talking about."

His eyes never leave mine. It's the kind of intense eye contact that would normally have me shriveling in on myself. But I can't even fathom looking away from his face right now. "Well that's a pretty good reason." I breathe out with a chuckle, breaking the intensity. "Maybe next time we should talk about it before we both turn into walking corpses." I say gesturing to the bags under my eyes. A laugh bursts out from Paul, and now that I'm looking for it, I see a lot of the color has come back to his face even since we sat down.

"Yeah, maybe." He says with a smile. "But just for the record, you're the most beautiful zombie I've ever seen."

The smile flowy fades from Paul's face. It brings a frown to mine, cause I want nothing more in this moment than to get it back. Paul's voice is so unsure when he speaks.

"Can I- Could I just hold you for a bit? I just need to feel that you're ok. That was too long to go without you in my arms." I'm already crawling into his lap before he's finished talking.

"You know, you said the same thing when you had to wait thirty minutes before crawling through my window once too." I can't help but joke at him, but I've already nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck, and wrapped my arms around him too.

With a deep inhale Paul's arms cinch around me like he's never going to let go again, and it's the most comforting feeling ever. "Anytime you're not in my arms, it's too long." My lips turn up at the corners, and I lift my head just enough to place a soft kiss on the column of his neck. A shudder racks through him making me giggle. His grip grows impossibly tighter at the sound.

"Paul?" I whisper.

"Yeah honey?"

"I think it's going to take me a bit to get back to the place we were at. I feel like we can't just rush back to where we were after something so big. I'm not ready to feel that kind of pain again."

Paul's voice is so heavy with conviction when he replies. "I will do everything in my power to make sure you never feel that kind of pain again." I lift my head up to look him in the eye. "And you set the pace Lucy. I don't care how fast or slow we go. As long as we're doing it together."

I bring my hand to rest on his cheek, my eyes glance down to his lips. They part open when he notices. Why am I nervous? This feels like a first kiss for some reason. He brings his hand up to tangle in my hair and moves in closer to rest his forehead on mine. He doesn't go any further though. He's leaving the last little gap for me. He's giving me the control here. This man is amazing. With a warm feeling in my heart, I lean in the last bit and bring our lips together. The kiss is somehow soft and gentle, but desperate at the same time. Like neither of us have had anything to drink for days and we've found water. I get completely lost in it, before Paul is gently leaning away.

Pulling back, a puff of air burst from my lips in an attempt to clear my muddled head.

Paul's laugh fills the forest and he smirks at me. "Still the master of charm." and I'm giggling with him, throwing a playful swat to his chest.

"Don't get too cocky there, Lahote. You're the one who won't let go of me."

There's still a smile on his face, but all of the joking is gone from his voice.

"Never."

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Eight: Battles and Bonds

My jaw is clamped tightly together. The sound of Bella's screams echo through the house. I don't know what's going on in that room, but it sounds like a bad episode of Grey's Anatomy. Only there's one or two more vampires performing surgery than normal. I'm stationed in the hallway just outside Bella's room. Jacob had told me that I'm to stay inside and guard Bella and the baby. I guess he decided I wouldn't be able to fight my imprint. He might have been right, but when I pointed out that they probably couldn't hurt me either because of Paul, he threw me his best I'm the alpha now glare and firmly closed the discussion on that.

So instead of standing next to my cousins, I'm playing guard dog inside a vampire's home. I know in my mind that the Cullens aren't a threat to me. But being so immersed in the stench of vampire has my skin crawling, and my senses are on high alert for any sign of a threat.

There's a loud ripping and screeching sort of sound, followed by silence, and then a baby's cry.

I hear Edwards soft voice whispering sweetly, and I know it must not be the monster everyone feared.

The cries turn to happy coos and the sound softens me a bit.

But it's quickly followed by a dull thudding that could only be someone trying to coax Bella's heart back into rhythm. She didn't make it...

After a few moments of muffled words, Rosalie slips past me into the room and back out just as quickly with the baby wrapped in a blanket. Jacob storms out. I know by the look on his face that my guarding duties have just shifted to just the baby. I follow Rosalie up the stairs, deeper into the cloud of vampire stink.

I can hear wolves growling through the walls. That familiar pull is trying to yank me down the stairs and out the door so I know Paul is here. Knowing he may be in danger has morphed the string that usually keeps us tethered, into a maxed out bungee cord and it takes every bit of my willpower to keep my feet planted. I focus on Rosalie's whispered words, desperate for any sort of grounding. It's kind of beautiful to watch. I'd always found Rosalie's beauty so off putting. It felt dangerous, like the trap that nature intended it to be. But watching her stare down at her niece, changed her face in beautiful maternal ways. Love was radiating from every part of her.

"You would have made an amazing mother." I don't know what made me say it. But Rosalie's head snaps up to me, and it almost looks like she'd cry if she could.

She gives me a soft smile before looking back down at the bundle in her lap.

"Thank you for protecting her."

"I knew she wasn't going to come out a monster. And I couldn't live with myself if I'd been a part of destroying something so innocent."

The sounds of battle break into our moment of peace. And my eyes cinch shut.

But then there's footsteps coming up the stairs, and my body jolts into full attention.

I recognize the scent as Jacob, but the anger rolling off of him is almost crackling through the air. Shit.

When he rounds the corner, his eyes lock straight onto the bundle in Rosalie's lap. The promise of death shrouds his eyes. Is it even possible to fight your own alpha?

"Jacob, what are you doing?"

"Ending this." His voice is so full of hate, it makes my hair stand on end.

"So you're just going to slaughter a baby, you psychopath! Are you insane?" I yell at him.

He pays me no mind as he keeps advancing. Rosalie shifts to shield the baby, letting us see her face for the first time. Jacob's body goes stark still. His eyes are locked with the baby's, and he looks like he's in some sort of trance...

Well damn.

She lets out a baby fever inducing coo, and Jacob is dropping to his knees.

"Jacob?" I whisper, taking slow steps towards him. I rest my hand on his shoulder and he slowly lifts his head to look at me. His eyes are shining with unshed tears. Like he can't seem to help himself, his gaze flickers back to the baby and I let my gaze follow. She's undeniably beautiful. Any unease I had about her being half vampire, vanishes when I see the way Jacob is staring at her like she hung the sun and stars. Rosalie's face is twisted in confusion. She probably didn't know this could happen this way. I've seen it with Quil and Claire, but I guess she's only seen couples.

"Jacob imprinted." I whisper in explanation. Her eyes snap up to meet mine, her confusion doubled and I know the question she's holding back. "Imprinting doesn't mean romance. It can. But it's just a bond. The world's strongest, supernatural bond. That little girl will forever be taken care of. Their relationship will likely evolve over time. But for right now, Jacob will be the best big brother there ever was to little..." I just realized that I don't even know the baby's name.

"... Renesmee." Jake says adoringly. My eyebrows fly up at the name.

"Renesmee? Where the heck did Bella come up wi-" A snarl rips through the walls, snapping us back to the present situation.

Jacob and I turn in unison to sprint outside and stop this. He's quicker than me and by the time I'm bursting through the door, he's already shifted, snapping at Sam's black wolf form.

"STOP!" I yell. But Sam lunges, snapping at Jake. "Jacob imprinted!" That gets everyone's attention.

Edward's sifting through my mind. I know I can't actually, that it's all in my head, but I feel like I can sense the intrusion. Like he's rifling through drawers and pulling stuff out that he's not supposed to touch.

"Jacob imprinted... They can't hurt her. It's their most absolute law."

Sam's heavy paw drags through the dirt. He doesn't want to retreat. But he has no choice. They can't hurt Renesmee. Because of Jacob.

I can't help myself anymore, and I let my eyes flick over to Paul. Even his wolf form looks physically changed. His fur seems dulled somehow. But something lighter flashes in his eyes at my gaze. Before I know it, my feet are stepping towards him, but then Sam lets out a growl that even in my human form is unmistakably an alpha order. And before I get the chance to reach out to Paul, the pack is all retreating back into the shadows of the forest.

And I'm left staring into the dark, outstretched hand trying to catch my very soul as it stretches away from me once again.

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Seven: Gravity’s Vendetta

Jacob explained that we were going to go try and talk to some of the guys. He wanted us all to go cause there was strength in numbers, and that's all the info he gave us.

I catch my reflection in the glass of the Cullens house on our way out, and even from the distance I was standing, I barely recognize myself. The color is gone from my cheeks. I look so ashy that I fit right in with the vampires just on the other side of the glass. And though I still definitely have the muscle that comes with being a supernatural being, there's just something about me that looks weak. It's all wrong and I can't stand to look at myself anymore. I turn my head and jog to catch up to my pack.

The sense of relief that I'm feeling is overwhelming. I'm finally following the pull that's been tugging at me since I left Paul. My instincts to reunite with him have me practically floating through the forest. I know in my mind that it probably won't be permanent at all, but right now all I can think about is seeing his face.

Jacob comes to a halt, scanning the darkness of the forest ahead of us.

"Jake! They're coming!" Seth says, panic all over his face.

"I know." is the only response he gets.

"We should phase, Jacob. We can't protect ourselves like this." Leah pipes in.

"They'll see it as a threat." Jake says, turning his attention back ahead of him.

My body is buzzing, I don't input anything into this debate. All it's doing is delaying their arrival. I can feel Paul. He's just over the hill. If I could just move a little closer. I start to inch forward, but Jacob throws his arm out to stop me. "Stay here." He barks.

"I wanna talk! Be easier if I could hear you, too."

The sounds of shuffling drifts to us, and then he's there. My heart is absolutely singing. Even though he looks about as bad as I do, if not worse. Jacob's arm is still thrown across my chest in an attempt to keep me from sprinting forward. Paul's eyes zero in on it and his voice turns to stone.

"This isn't your territory anymore." He turns to face me. "How's your new family working out?" The malice in his voice causes me to flinch back, and suddenly Paul's eyes are glistening with tears he won't let fall.

"You done?" Jacobs' voice is dripping with impatience.

Quil and Embry join their brothers. "You coming home, Jake?" Quil questions.

"Not until I finish this." He replies.

"What do you mean?" Paul asks Jake, but his eyes are still on me. His eyes are pleading with me, desperately trying to beg for forgiveness. I know Paul usually uses his anger to push down his pain. That he's lashing out at me to hide his hurt. But knowing that doesn't make hearing it any easier.

"I want Sam to take back Lucy, Leah and Seth." All of our heads whip to Jacob at this bomb he's dropping. Leah and Seth protest, but I'm so torn. I still fundamentally disagree with Sam's pack, but then I could take the pain off of Paul's face.

Jacob's voice is absolutely venomous. "Quiet." He hisses. And Paul is growling lowly at the show of force. "I want them safe. And I want this over."

"I need Sam to wait until Bella's been separated from the problem."

"You mean till she's dead." Paul snaps.

"Ease up, Paul." Embry urges, nudging Paul to look at me. The harshness of his words has me pulling back a few steps. Paul instinctually takes a few steps forward. "Then what?"

Jacob continues. "Tell Sam that when the moment comes, I'll be the one to destroy it."

I join in on the protests this time. But Jacob keeps talking like we aren't even there. "I'm the only one who can. They trust me."

The forest is suddenly flooded with howls. Someone's sounded the alarm. I turn to look at Jacob, I can see victory in his eyes. He'd had some sort of other plan, and it had clearly worked. Looking back at Paul, he's already looking at me. He looks so incredibly pained that the tears in my eyes that had been waiting for permission to fall start streaming down my face. Paul's voice is barely a whisper when he speaks directly to me. "You played us?" The hurt in his voice is like a knife twisting in my heart. He thinks I did this to him. "No, No Pau—"

It feels like Jacob's alpha voice is physically pushing me down when he whispers "Quiet." again.

I don't think I can handle walking away from Paul like this again. But lucky for me I don't have to. Paul's the one to walk away this time, and I'm left with fresh new images of his face twisted in pain. All I can do is crumple to my knees as the tears pour soundlessly down my face.

—-----------

Come on Lucy. You're stronger than this. Don't be the girl that can't function without her boyfriend. I'm mentally psyching myself up to get up off the ground. Jacob took off back to Bella immediately, but Seth and Leah are waiting patiently by my side. When I stand up, I feel like gravity has got a personal vendetta against me. Full on Hatfields and McCoys style. Like if I move the wrong way, it's going to flatten me like a pancake. I know there must be so much more imprint shit going on that I even realize. I'm fighting my very nature. It feels like I'm trying to pry my soul from my body. But I force myself to keep going without it. I'm not going to bend. Not to the imprint, not to gravity... I'm going to do what's right.

When we get back to the Cullens house, Leah and I shift so we can be prepared if anything happens. Leah doesn't have to ask to know how I'm doing, as soon as our mind connects she knows. It's me who finally breaks the mental silence.

"How are we supposed to fight them, Leah?" It comes out as more of a sigh. Up to this point, it's just been about defending my morals. But I'm finally having to face the fact that this was always going to end in a fight.

"Well I personally have a lot of pent up rage to let out." Leah's words finally pull a laugh out of me, after who knows how long. It comes out sounding like a wolf choking which makes us both laugh even more, which makes a choking sound.... It goes on like this until we're both out of breath, leaning into each other's sides.

Laughter still in her voice, she continues. "I think you just need to remember why you came here. Why you're choosing this. And then leave the future be. This is such a hard and weird situation. I don't know... that's the best I've got."

I let out a massive sigh. "Well, it's better than anything I've got."

We're looking out over the water and into the blackness of the night, when we hear the resounding crack of bone.

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Six: Dreaming of Dreamboats

It's Leah that finds me crumpled on the forest floor. Apparently she and Seth decided to join Jacob's band of rebels too. The brief mental silence I'd experienced was gone, but it was still somewhat peaceful to only have my cousins and Jake taking root there. Leah lays in the leaves and dirt with me tucked under her muzzle until everything around us starts to fade into grayscale. I haven't moved since I sank to the ground. I can't bring myself to cry, or scream or any of the things that my heart wants me to do. I lay there motionless, heavy head resting on my paws. Leah just stays there like an angel, lifting her head every so often to nuzzle me. Her thoughts aren't fully formed sentences, but I feel her swirl of consciousness. She seems confused. Faces of the people she knows are flashing through her mind sporadically, like a fifth grade powerpoint presentation. But there's an overall tone of longing. She's trying to match my reaction to someone in her life. She doesn't have anything like this to equate to. Then the images are Sam peppering kisses across Emily's face, Jared and Kim cuddled together on the couch, Quil and Claire running on the beach... Paul and I gazing at each other like lovey teenagers. A sob claws its way out of the throat at the image, and Leah turns to look at me. Her thoughts morph to concern and love. Suddenly the need to be in my own skin and finally cry is strong, and I will myself to shift back. Leah follows my lead soon after and lets me silently sob on her shoulder.

My nose starts to burn, the sickly sweet smell of a Cullen approaching making my hair stand on end. Even though I know there's not really any danger, this makes me straighten up.

Esme is walking at human speed towards us, a stack of clothes in her hand.

"I wasn't sure what size you were, so I grabbed a few things from all of the girls." I've really never paid any mind to any of the Cullens, no interest in being buddy buddy with the enemy. But the maternal tone in her voice melts my icy glare. Esme's eyes are downcast in a very unvampirey way. She's nervous, I realize. She must know how much we hate her. I glance up at Leah and I know I'm right. Leah has fixed her with a deadly stare. Poor Esme.

"I bleached them, and tried my best not to touch them too much. I didn't want them to smell."

I rise from my spot on the ground and slowly drift towards Esme. I can't seem to hate this woman, no matter how much my instincts are screaming at me to turn and run. Her eyes flick up to meet mine, a little bit of hope mixed into the shock. Reaching my arms out to take the clothes from her little hands, I fight a flinch when our hands brush against each other.

"Thank you." My voice is hoarse from lack of use, but Esme's beaming at me now.

Esme is the only one outside of my pack that I'm willing to interact with after that. She brings clothes and food every day and I realize that she reminds me of my own mother, you know before the whole evil vampire entranchtress nonsense.

I see Bella through the window once, I can faintly hear her giggling with Edward on the couch. The pure joy on her face as she cradles her belly is such a stark contrast to the 'death's door' look she's rocking. But seeing the two of them holding eachother like that, gazing down at the bump that is their unborn child, I know I've made the right choice. If it happens to come out doing baby sign language for blood, we'll deal with that when the time comes. But for now, all I see is a mom and dad, excited to start their family together. To welcome this piece of them into this weird world we live in. If I played a part in ripping that apart so violently, I'd never be able to live with myself.

—--------

My paws thud across the ground quietly, barely making a sound as I slink through the forest at full speed. I've been running the perimeter for hours, keeping my eyes and ears trained for the sounds of my former brothers. Jacob has asked me to come in and take a break 4 times now. But I know the second I lose focus, I'll plummet into the pit of my chest. I refuse to be rendered to some mindless comatose zombie over a boy. Even if that boy is my anchor, and now I'm floating adrift in this terrifying raging sea of... NOPE! I snap my mind back to the skitters of a squirrel climbing his tree before I fall headfirst into the blackness.

Suddenly I'm not alone in my mind anymore. The voices of Jacob and Leah rush in.

Leah is high with relief. It seems Jake was going to send her back to Sam, but they figured something out. She's replaying the argument in her head, elated that Jake changed his mind. Most of her defense was not wanting to reprise her role as unwanted ex-girlfriend. But what finally won Jake over was saying she couldn't stand it if she left me alone like this. It makes my heart happy, if only for a second.

"Lucy, take a break before you collapse. We got this." Jake demands.

"No no. I'm good." I've been fighting Jake so long on this I'm surprised he's still asking. I can feel the exertion catching up to me, but I push through the scream in my muscles.

"I'm not asking Luce. I'm ordering. Go back to the house. Lie down!" Jacob's voice takes on the deep heavy tone of an alpha. I can't believe that he's pulled the alpha card for this. He's been bitching and whining the whole time about not wanting to be an alpha yet here he is.

"We all need to be at our strongest, Luce." And there's that puppet on a string shit again. My body is slowing and moving back towards the Cullens house, without any real permission from my brain. I barely make it to the backyard before I'm slumping into a ball in the grass, head heavy in my paws. And sleep takes me. Exactly what I'd been trying to avoid.

—-------------------

It's not long before I'm submersed in the most vivid dream of my life. A memory. Like something inside me is trying to convince me why I need to go back.

"Is this everything you'd hoped for?" Paul is looking up at me from his spot in the sand. He's laying next to me on the beach, propped up on his elbow, looking sexy as hell might I add.

"Mmm... better" I mumble, mouth full with my last bite of cheeseburger. We'd been in Paul's living room watching reruns of some old show Paul loved when I'd declared I wanted a cheeseburger and a milkshake and I wanted to have them on the beach. And in response Paul had declared that I was the cutest person ever as I yanked him off the couch. I've just watched the sunset at the beach with a cheeseburger and a milkshake with my dreamboat boyfriend gazing up at me with love as I absolutely devour it all. It doesn't really get better than that. Brushing off my hands, I lay down with Paul and cuddle into his side. The scent of him washes over me. It's pine and faintly campfire and something manly that's just Paul.

"Thanks for indulging my crazy whims. I love you." I whisper into his chest.

Paul chuckles softly "Anytime honey. I'd do anything for you. You're everything to me."

That's when I'm shaken awake. The beautiful memory slipping away. My eyes open to see Jacob standing above me.

"Lucy, wake up. I have a plan."

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Five: Pit

The heavy rain from this morning has turned the air misty, and all I can see from my kitchen window is fog. After watching Aunt Sue drag a half-asleep Seth around the kitchen all morning, insisting he learn this stuff so he can treat a women right one day, and sitting down to a family breakfast together, my shirt is now fifty percent water as I scrub dishes in the sink, mostly staring out the window pondering life.

I'd been cautiously excited when moving to LaPush. Knowing I needed to get some space from my trauma, but also, change is freaking terrifying. But never had I imagined life would take such an amazing leap into wonderful territory.

It's in the middle of this daydream that a howl resounds somewhere deep in my bones, making the plate I'm holding clatter to the bottom of the sink.

My head whips around to see Leah and Seth behind me. They're both standing at full attention. Something about the sound of that howl has all of our hackles up, and we all break for the backdoor and into the woods. The sound of clothes ripping echoes around me and then my mind is flooded with images. Horrible images of bruises and pain. Someone's head is being ripped off. I see a baby, but it's not quite a baby. It looks normal and innocent, but then all of a sudden its eyes are bright red and it's the one ripping people's heads off.

It takes me a while to sift through it all and put the pieces together.

Jacob is talking to Bella, his eyes fall down to her stomach which has ballooned out and is more black and blue than not. Bella tells him everythings going to be alright. Edward says he can kill him. Bella rubbing her belly and smiling. The Cullens are arguing "The fetus isn't good for Bella!" Alice hisses. But Jacob is looking at Bella, she's trying to mask her wince. "It's just a little baby!" "Possibly".

Possibly.... Possibly. What is growing in there.

That's when the rest of the pack's thoughts start to chim in. I can feel everyone's rage. Everyone is seeing red. We're all running towards Jacob. We're breaking through the treeline and I still haven't decided how I feel about this.

My head turns towards the big black wolf as Sam starts to talk through the mindlink.

"We have to protect the tribe. What they've bred won't be able to control its thirst. Every human will be in danger."

"We're ready" "No time to waste." Everyone starts voicing their approval.

Everyones getting ready to go kill Bella like right this second. The cloud of outrage surrounding me is making it hard to make up my own mind. I keep sifting through the memories Jake showed us, but the one that keeps coming back is Bella, holding her belly and gazing down at it, so much love in her eyes.

While I've been processing, Jacob has charged off. I don't even realize that I'm slowly retreating until a massive gray head is whipping in my direction.

"No" Paul had been so consumed by everything he hadn't tuned specifically into my mind until right now. "Lucy, you can't be serious."

"I can't do this Paul. WE can't do this." And my mind is flashing back to that loving look in Bella's eyes. "It's just a baby."

Paul echoes the words we heard in Jake's memories. "Possibly."

I haven't stopped inching backwards while we talked and my feet squish into the dirt of the forest floor.

Every part of me is pulling in a different direction. My body seems to be moving of its own accord, drawing me towards Bella. My mind is trying to tell me that I should never leave my pack like this. THEY'RE my family, not some band of silverspoon leeches.

My heart and my soul are the only two working in synchrony. Screaming in desperation to stop moving away from the gray wolf in front of me, the emotion in his eyes completely human. The minds of everyone else are obviously still there, but I can't hear them anymore. All I hear is Paul. He seems to be going through a similar battle to mine. Up until he felt me retreating, there wasn't a doubt in his mind on what was happening. Honestly, there still wasn't. But he could feel his very soul dragging her feet hesitantly through the dirt. Moving further and further away from him. He was battling between the outrage that his partner and packmate dared defend the enemy, and the dark pit that sank deeper and deeper in his chest with every inch I retreated.

We'd obviously been physically apart before. But this was more than that. This was physical, mental, emotional and everything in between. The imprint embedded into our genes wants to reach out and smack us both upside the head, shove us back together. But we've never been so far apart.

"Bella hasn't done anything wrong. Jacobs right, our protection applies to her too." The words pour out of my mouth without thought, as if I'm running on autopilot. Like a puppet on a string. The pull - correction, the vicious clawing - to run back to Paul's side seems to have no say here. That pit that Paul could feel, starts to unravel in my chest too.

"Come on Lucy, tell me you aren't that stupid." And that's what does it. I can feel that Paul regrets his words immediately after he's thought them. But that's the tricky part about sharing thoughts... Everything is always out on full display.

The image of my wolf form turning full tilt into the forest, clouded in pure agony is all I see in my head as the trees rush past me. The farther I go, the deeper and darker that pit sinks into both of us.

The last thing I see before my link to my pack is severed, is everyone else watching as the fight leaves Paul's body, and his naked body slumps to the ground. His hand is clutched to his chest like he's trying to keep the pit from consuming him whole.

It's not until I see the Cullen's house peeking through the greenery, that I allow myself to stop running and collapse into a ball of fur in the dirt.

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Four: Secret Skills

"Oh you're on Cameron." I say, chucking the soccer ball as hard as I can right at his face. Unfortunately for all the wolf skills I have, he's got them to, and he catches it effortlessly. I'd been sitting on a blanket with Leah, having a nice chill time when Jared started throwing out jabs about how in all the time I'd been here, I'd never had the guts to play with the big boys.

"You ever played soccer before, sweetheart?" He seems to think the intensity in my glare is funny as he keeps egging me on, rolling the ball back to me. "You use your feet to kick the ball into the other team's goal. Got it?"

"Oh, I don't put it in my own goal?" I say, sending the ball into the air and casually juggling it.

Jared's face drops, and somewhere beside me Paul lets out a booming laugh.

I spend the next hour wiping the floor with Jared. Dribbling the ball between his feet, sending him flying into the sand. Eventually he concedes and we all fall onto a blanket Emily laid out for us.

"I just want to hear you say it Jared! I want Jake and Leah to hear it!" I say, leaning back into Paul's arms.

"LUCY IS THE ALL TIME BEST SOCCER PLAYER IN ALL OF THE WORLD. HER AMAZINGNESS KNOWS NO BOUNDS." Jared shouts in the flattest voice he can.

The little group of our friends sitting on the other side of the beach look over. Leah whoops and hollers, throwing her hands together in a cheer. Even Jacob, the epitome of a moody heartbroken teenager cracks a small smile.

Paul leans down to whisper in my ear. "I'm not gonna lie... that was super fucking hot." He presses a kiss to my hair. "Who knew you were so good at soccer."

I peek up at him over my shoulder. "Oh I'm good at a lot of things Paul."

His eyes go dark at the provocative tone in my voice. "Maybe I could show you sometime." Reaching back my hand to grab his face, I plant a quick peck to his cheek.

I don't need a mind link to know what he's thinking, by the way he's shifting me in his lap, like he's got something to hide.

______________

I'm sat in the back seat of Jared's truck shoulders bumping between Seth and Leah's. The road leading to the cliffs isn't the smoothest ride. Someone had brought up cliff diving that morning, and Seth had been quick to pipe up that he'd never once done it, which apparently was unacceptable. After a fair amount of ribbing from the other boys about not being brave enough, Seth had outed me, tatling that I'd never done it either.

It was immediately declared that everyone was to go get their swimsuits and meet at the top of the cliffs.

Seth, who'd been fidgety the whole drive up, was now peering over the edge of the cliff warily.

"Geez man. Did it get taller? It looks so normal from the beach." Seth whispers for just me to hear. This absolutely precious boy I think leaning into his shoulder. "I can go with you if you want." And he seriously contemplates it before shaking his head.

"Nah, the guys'll never shut up about it. I got this." He decides, squaring his shoulders.

After a while of peaking over the edge and backing away a few times, and a few boys sprinting past him to jump, Seth finally gets the balls to hurl himself over the side, in the world's most awkward looking cannonball. The few of you still there are left cackling at the whole thing.

"You end up wearing one of the new swimsuits you got?" Leah asks. I hum and nod at her.

"The flowery one? Or the blue one that makes your ass look extra smackable?" She asks, quoting the exact words I'd said when I told her about them.

I sense rather than see that Paul's eyes are suddenly on us from his spot a few feet behind me.

Wordlessly, I pull the shoulder of my sundress to the side, revealing a bright blue bikini strap with an overly sweet smile, putting on a show for my secret audience.

"Ooo nice colour. Let me see." She demands.

Grabbing the bottom of my sundress, I start to hike it up over my head. I swear I hear someone's breath hitch. Scrunching my dress into a ball I bend over to tuck it into my bag, and this time I definitely hear a groan behind me. And not at all a subtle one.

"Alright, well that's our cue Embry." Leah smirks, sauntering over to the last person left on top of the cliff. With a wink over his shoulder Embry shouts "If you guys don't come right down after us, everyone will know exactly what you're doing!" And with that, he and Leah leap off the edge. Their screams get quieter and quieter, until my wolf ears hear a faint splash.

Suddenly there's a pair of warm hands on my hips, pulling me flush against a hard chest.

"You know I've been meaning to take up swimming... We should go. Like all the time." Paul's soft voice contradictory to the nips his teeth are giving my ear. I wiggle my hips back into him and he hisses "Everyday.... We should come everyday."

His words pull a giggle from my lips. "I could definitely be into that." I push off of Paul and turn around to face him. With the most innocent look I can manage, my hands splayed on his chest, I start to lightly push him backwards towards a nearby tree. "You know I don't think I really want to jump right now."

Paul's eyes have gone dark as they follow your every move. "No?" His voice comes out an octave lower than normal. My waves bounce on my shoulders as I shake my head no.

"And I don't think I really care what our friends will think if we don't." Paul visibly gulps. I love that after all the times we've been together that I can still pull reactions like this out of him. His back bumps into the tree. My hands trail down to the waist of his shorts.

"Maybe I could show you some of those things I'm really good at." I say looking up at him as I sink to my knees.

Safe to say, it was a while before we joined our friends in the water.

—--------

I pull the heavy scent of Pine and fire and Paul over my head, tightening the string of the hoodie around my face. I'm about to crawl into bed for the night, but the corner of an envelope catches my eye. I'd buried it underneath a pile of books in hopes that it would get lost there, hoping I'd forget about it altogether. But no matter my intention, some part of me clearly wanted to read it, because the entire corner was clearly visible. I can't hold back my curiosity any longer, and with a heavy sigh, I gently shuffle it out of its half-assed hiding spot and rip out the letter.

The thick black ink is curled in a way that reminds me of my mother's handwriting, but somehow stuffy and stiff. And it makes me a bit sad to see.

My Dearest Lucy,

I still cannot believe how beautiful you have grown up to be. When I saw you standing in front of me, it took all of my strength not to run to you. I had to stay stoic so as to not show weakness. Strength is very important in the Volturi, and I didn't want Jane to report back to Aro. She would have to, as she is forever trying to prove her superiority over me.

I wanted to explain, my beautiful girl, just why I never came to tell you that I was alive.

You would think that being bitten and changing is the most painful thing in the world. And it was definitely no easy feat. But the part afterwards, when you wake up all alone, with no idea what to do, fire tearing up your throat... That is pain. I went to Los Angeles for a while, feeding where I knew I wouldn't run into you or your father. After a while, I tried to come back for you. But I was standing outside the house, and the scent of your father was just too sweet. I ran as fast as I could before I couldn't control myself any longer. I just couldn't be near you without risk.

I spent a while in isolation after that. Feeding only on those dumb enough to wander deep into the woods. That is where Demetri found me. He later told me that I looked more like a wild animal than a vampire. I'd been alone in the woods for so long. But the Volturi have someone who can sense the abilities of other vampires. She'd passed near enough by me to feel my power, and told Demetri where to find me. He brought me to Aro, and they gave me a place in their guard. After being completely alone in this for so long, it felt so good to be a part of something. They gave me a home, and companionship, and helped me to strengthen my abilities. Lucy, I can't even begin to explain in writing how strong I've become. I could protect us. I think you and your father would like Italy so much. I'm strong enough that you wouldn't have to worry about your wolf problem. If anyone said anything I could change their minds. You don't have to keep pretending with your "pack". We could be a REAL family again.

Send me a reply at the address below. Tell me when you can be ready to travel. I will be there.

PO Box 3645

266 Via di Sotto

Volterra, Italy

Sincerely,

Mother

I've read through it three times now. I'm trying to find my mom in these words, in this penmanship. But it contains none of her warmth, none of her love. This is cold and distant. Her time as a vampire and in isolation had changed her too much. The quotation marks around the word pack irk me. The capitalization of REAL just pisses me off. I don't even realize I'm trembling with rage until I feel the breeze rush through my opening window and a warm hand coming down on my shoulder. I wordlessly hand the letter to Paul while I rush to my desk, yanking open the drawer to find a blank envelope and paper. Paul's grip has tightened on the paper and I hear it crumpling behind me. I scribble so angrily that my writing is wobbly.

Let's just clear something up here. My PACK is my REAL family. Just as Dad is my REAL family. I lost my mother a long time ago. My mother never would have tried to control me the way you did. And she certainly wouldn't have wanted to lure me into the den of my enemies to keep as some prize. I don't know who you are anymore. And I sure as hell will not be leaving my family behind to be a prisoner in some bloodsucker tomb like some sort of meal waiting to be devoured. I've been through so much pain to get here, but I'm here now and I'm finally happy. I am NOT leaving.

DO NOT COME HERE!!

I shove the letter haphazardly into the envelope, cover it in postage stamps and march out the door to shove it in the mailbox.

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Three: Glorious Muscles and the Smell of a Sweater

The smell of cookies wafts into my face as Emily pulls a sheet out of the oven. Seeing my opening, I snag a spoonful of cookie dough out of the bowl while her back is turned. I've been doing this for the past 30 minutes, and apparently my luck has finally run out.

"Lucy!!" She scolds, seeing me from the corner of her eye. I burst into a fit of giggles just as some of the boys walk in.

"Ugh, would you look at his face." Embry mocks, pointing at Paul. "Damn lovesick puppy."

I turn to see Paul admiring my giggles, leaning against the doorway arms crossed, looking at me like they do in all the best cheesy rom coms.

"Not two seconds before we walked in he was bitching about being wet and bored. Where was this Paul for the past 3 hours. I'd like to be on patrol with him next time please." Paul turns around and growls at Embry, shutting him right up.

Paul may have been complaining about the downpour outside, but I certainly wasn't. While Paul is scaring off Embry, my eyes rake up his body. His shirt is clinging to him in a delicious way, the thin material absolutely drenched. Every dip of muscle is on full display. I am all here for this wet t-shirt contest. It's not until Paul clears his throat that I break out of my daze. I'm almost afraid to meet his eyes. Peeking up at his face, he is radiating mischief.

"Smirk any harder Paul and it'll get stuck on your face." I sass, cheeks flaming red at being caught so blatantly staring in a room full of my friends.

"It might be worth it." He says, voice dripping cockiness.

"Hey, we're ALL wet over here! I feel like I should take this as a blow to my self esteem." Quil says, doing a full Vanna White to all of the other rain soaked abs.

Mustering up as much enthusiasm as I can, I twirl towards Quil.

"Wow, I'm so lucky to be in this room with so many breathtaking men." I throw the back of my hand to my forehead and pull out my best southern accent. "All these glorious muscles. I'm absolutely swooning! Emily-" I whip around to her and she's fighting a grin. "have you ever seen such strong, manly men in all your days?" She's giggling at me now, shaking her head at my antics.

"There, was that better?" I turn to Quil.

He holds his chin up high. "Much better. Finally, an appropriate level of awe." And turns and walks into the living room, plopping down on the couch.

Paul is staring at me with puppy dog eyes again, his smile growing once I've turned my attention back to him. I make my way over and snuggle into his waiting arms.

"Hi beautiful." He mumbles into my hair, taking a deep inhale. "Mmmm you always smell so good. Like sunshine." My face scrunches up in amusement.

"I didn't realize sunshine had its own smell." It comes out as more of a question. Paul draws his eyebrows together in mock seriousness. "Oh of course it does. Smells all happy and warm." I giggle at him, causing an adorable smile to crack through his facade. "Thank you?"

"It's my favorite smell." He smiles down at me, still wrapped up in his arms. "How was your night?"

"It was fun. We had a girls night. Did all the classic girl stuff. Made cookies, talked about the boys we like... you know."

"Oh yeah? You got a crush or something?" He plays along.

"Mmm can't tell you that. That's top secret girl talk." I look up at him. There's definitely a spark of playfulness from our typical back and forth. But something heavy lies in his eyes too.

My mouth morphs into a frown. "How was patrol? You end up getting anywhere near the wedding?"

"Very very close actually." His face drops. "Jake crashed it. We had to step in before he hurt Bella." I pull out of his arms at this, the mention of Jake's sudden reappearance startling me.

"It's kinda fucked up actually, everything was totally fine until Bella told Jake her and her vampire were going to have a real honeymoon." His hands thrown up in air quotes. "Jake totally lost it. Thinks Bellas gonna die or somethin."

"Wouldn't be the worst way to go." I can't help the joke that slips past my lips, Paul's eyes narrowing at my shitty comedic timing. Then my shoulders sag with the weight of having missed Jacob.

"I should never have told him to go."

"Hey," His finger under my chin lifts my eyes back up to his. "From everything you told me happened, he needed some separation. I mean look what being back here did. All you did was tell your friend to do what's best for him and not for Bella. You're an amazing friend." His speech brings a warmth to my chest that only he seems to be able to ignite.

I lean into his chest, a slow smile creeping onto my lips. "Smooth talker." I wink at him and lean in for a kiss. A soft hum escaping from my mouth as his tongue glides across my bottom lip, silently requesting entrance. "You mentioned something about a good way to go..." Paul mumbles against my lips.

Someone groans behind me.

"Ugh seriously dude! There are people trying to eat here." Embry calls from the kitchen table.

Paul throws a middle finger behind my back, not for a second considering moving away from the kiss.

—---------

A buzzing from the coffee table pulls my attention away from my book. Throwing a bookmark between the well worn pages, I exchange it for my phone. My dads name lights up the screen, bringing a smile to my face.

"Hey dad! What's up?" I asked.

"Hi sweetheart! Good to hear your voice." I can practically feel the excitement coming off of him. "I have officially collected enough miles to meet this boyfriend of yours!"

Last time I'd seen my dad he'd gone on and on about how much better I'd seemed. When I'd moved away from him, I was still stuck in a full scale mental MMA fight with my anxiety and trauma. Winner takes all. And while I'd told him about how being in a pack had helped me heal, apparently I'd brought up Paul alot. My dads words were, and I quote "you look like you're floating when you talk about this guy... He deserve you?" And from that moment on, he'd been dead set on judging that for himself.

"Yay! That's exciting. When are you coming?" My smile growing bigger.

"Is this weekend to last minute?" Doubt creeping into his tone.

"Nope! Come on down. The pack is having a bonfire. It's a whole big family affair though, so I don't see why you couldn't come along. Meet everyone."

"I wouldn't be intruding?" My dad, forever worried about stepping on people's toes.

"Not at all! Everyone else's parents will be there. I'm part of the pack too, so why shouldn't my dad come along. Come on, everyone will be stoked to meet you!" I encourage him.

"Well alright then. There's definitely a few people I'm particularly looking forward to meeting." I could hear the mischief in his voice. Well, here's hoping Paul doesn't intimidate easily. He's a big bad werewolf, he can handle it...

—-----------

Paul is anxiously fidgeting with some random stick he found on the ground. One hand twirling it between his fingers, the other drumming on my knee. I'm sitting on one of the logs around the fire, Paul firmly planted on the ground between my legs. My fingers work their way up to comb through his hair. He instantly leans back into my palm, melting into my touch.

"You know he already loves you right?" I lean down, whispering encouragement into his ear.

His head tilts all the way back to rest upside down in my lap. The act is so endearing, I can't help but grin down at him.

"I've literally never been in a relationship that mattered enough to meet someone's father. I may be a smooth talker with you, but this is uncharted territory babe."

Billy Black, who's sitting close on my other side, overhears our whispers and clears his throat until we look his way.

"Son, I can confidently say as the father to two daughters myself. The way you care for this girl... He's going to love you."

Paul lifts his head to look Billy in the eye properly.

"Thanks, Billy." and with a nod, Billy's turning back to his friends.

My body jitters as a chill runs through me, the wind having picked up all of a sudden. Paul is instantly scooting his way to sit by my side, pulling off his sweater so he can pull it over my head, and wraps me up in his arms. It dawns on me then that it was rare to see Paul wearing a shirt, let alone a hoodie like he had been tonight.

"I didn't realize you even owned a sweater. How were you not boiling hot in this?" I question, balling my fists in the long sleeves.

"Oh I brought it for you. I didn't think you could even get cold as a wolf," he jabs at me with a smirk "but you still seem to. Wanted to keep you warm."

"Well that's very sweet. You could have just folded it though, you didn't have to sweat to death all night." As I'm talking, his scent wafts to my face and I can't help but pull the hoodie up over my nose and quietly inhale.

Paul hears me and looks over, eyes shining with some inside joke. "I thought you might like it more if It smelled like me... Guess I called it."

My cheeks flush red.

"Don't worry, It's super cute." He says chuckling to himself, pulling me into his side and planting a sweet kiss on my temple.

Peeking up to search the faces of the party, I catch the face of my father, who's staring straight at us from across the fire. Judging by the soft look in his eye, he's just seen that whole exchange.

I let out an excited squeak and bound up out of my seat, knocking Paul a bit off balance in my hurry.

"Dad!!" I scream, flinging myself into his waiting arms. Aunt Sue, who'd been his ride brushing past us to get warm by the fire.

"Hi sweetheart! Let me look at you" he says, pulling back to take in my face.

I'm grinning up at him. He's grinning right back before he looks over my shoulder.

"I think you might've been the only thing keeping that boy from rockin outta his seat kid." He says with a snort.

Turning around, I see Paul's knee is going double time and he's trying to look busy talking to Jared beside him, but I've already seen him glance over 3 times.

Suppressing a giggle I motion for my dad to follow me back to my seat.

When we reach Paul, I slip my hand onto his shoulder, a wave of peace washing over him.

"Paul, this is my dad Joel. Dad, this is Paul. I guess you've met on the phone... but it's so much better to be in his glorious presence." I exclaim in my best swooning girlfriend voice.

My dad's giving me a look like 'ease up, this boys clearly nervous enough'. But I can see in Paul's face, he's hesitating on whether he should be the polite well behaved boyfriend, or follow his gut and be himself. In the end his gut seems to win out.

"In her defense, it is pretty glorious." My dad let's out an unexpected snort.

"Ok I get it now. I'm glad she's found someone to match her level of sass." He says, reaching a hand out to Paul.

He stands and gives it a good manly shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you officially sir."

After my dad insists Paul calls him by his name, the two instantly start talking about all the things you'd expect. Football, fishing and all the most embarrassing moments of my life.

In other words, they talk all night. But Paul makes sure to keep his hand around my shoulders to keep me warm. Occasionally giving me little kisses on the side of the head, peeking down to make sure I'm alright.

I smile at him every time, and keep watching my two favorite people become part of each other's lives.

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Two: Run for the Hills

I'm laying in bed, contemplating the envelope in my hand. It looks crisp and fancy. Far too fancy for anyone I know. There's no return address. Just overseas postage. There's a small part of my brain that really knows who this must be from, but I don't want to believe it. Lifting the envelope to my nose, I inhale. The scent makes my eyes clamp shut, and floating in the darkness of my closed eyelids are the blood red eyes of my dreams. The smell is faint, it's journey across the world masking the worst of it. But it's there, burning me all the same.

The sound of muffled shouting in the living room hits my ears through my closed door. My hair stands on end at the sound of Leah - my pack member, cousin and closest friend - giving the fight of her life about something. Tossing the letter onto my dresser, I fly out of my room to rush to her defense.

"I'd just come home smelling like someone lit a Cinnabon on fire. Like a freaking chemical fire. I am NOT going!" Leah shouts over her shoulder, marching to her room.

I shuffled into the living room and Aunt Sue turns her head to see me standing there with wide eyes.

"What's the drama queen on about?" I ask.

Aunt Sue wordlessly hands me a sheet of crisp white card stock, and with a sigh, slumps down on the couch.

ISABELLA MARIE SWAN

AND

EDWARD ANTHONY MASON CULLEN

Together with their families........

"When did you get this?" I demand.

Aunt Sue's eyes shoot open at the urgency in my voice. "Charlie just dropped it off like 20 minutes ago. Said he was doing the rounds in LaPush for Bella. Why?"

I've already chucked the invitation haphazardly behind me on my way back out the door. I turn into the forest behind the house, tearing from my clothes as my paws come thudding onto the dirt.

"Jake?" I reach out into our wolf pack, sifting through some of the new wolves' minds, who are on patrol for the afternoon. There's no sign of Jake, he must not know yet. I'm so close to the Black house when I hear feet padding through the mud.

"FUUUUUUUUUC—" With a rip that could only be clothes giving way to fur, the scream shifts to an ear splitting howl. And suddenly Jake is passing me in a blur.

"Jake! Jacob, wait!" Pulling the quickest u-turn I can at this speed, I take off behind him.

"She's marrying him! She's fucking marrying him!" He screams, to himself or as an explanation I can't quite tell.

"I know Jake. I came right over. I'm so sorry." My mind flashes to minutes ago, looking at the same pristine white invitation he's currently picturing ripping to shreds in his own mind. Seeing the truth to my words, he lets me follow.

I stay a few feet behind him as we run through the forest, silent as ghosts, for a long time. Well, silent on the outside. Inside Jacob has been spewing every profanity known to man and picturing all the ways he could dismember Edward. But eventually his thoughts morph from rage to something softer, something sad.

"I feel like I'm breaking Lucy." The thought is so quiet, I'm not sure he meant to direct that at me for a moment. But his pace has slowed and his eye searches the side of my face.

All of a sudden Jake comes to a complete stop. Not seeing that coming, I shoot way past him before I can stop myself. By the time I turn around, Jake has shifted back into himself and is sliding down a tree to the forest floor. I've never seen him this far gone, and I feel hatred for Bella like never before. How dare she treat this ball-of-sunshine of a man like this. He deserves so much more than this.

"Did I do something wrong? What does that ice sculpture have that I can't give her?" He's searching my eyes for answers that I don't have.

I shift down next to him, long past the point of being worried about nudity.

"Jacob Black, you did nothing wrong." I say with all of the conviction I have.

"Bella is bat shit crazy." Jacob gives me a harsh glare, my rage not well received. Guess I'll try a gentler approach.

"Jacob," I sigh. "You are the warmest, most laid back, kindest man I have ever known... Don't tell Paul I said that." The tiniest twitch pulls at his lips through the mist of tears.

"If Bella can't see that, then that is her loss and she can go get the life sucked out of her and live happily ever after as a bloodthirsty ice sculpture. Stupidest decision ever if you ask me." Jacobs head drops to his knees with a sob.

"You are going to find someone amazing one day. And they're going to love the shit out of you. Because you're amazing and you deserve nothing less than that." I say with a finality that can't be argued.

"I want to believe you Luce. Really, I do. But why does it feel like I've left part of me behind. Part of my soul is back there, and I'm in agony." My eyebrows pinch together. His words bring a memory forward in my mind. I'd gone back to Vancouver to visit my dad, and in the airport on my way home I'd called Paul.

"Come home to me beautiful, you've taken part of my soul away from me." I'd absolutely melted at his words, until I heard Jared gagging in the background, followed by a muted thud that could only have been a punch.

But Jacob hadn't imprinted on Bella. Everyone knew that. But looking at my friend's face, maybe he wasn't so far off from it. A deep deep love that didn't quite thread into his quileute genes.

"I can't go back there Lucy. Not to watch her become some lifeless knock off version of herself." He mumbles into his arms.

My heart breaks at the softness of his voice. "Then don't...Maybe you should take some time to be away from everything. Get some space. Clear your head. Meet someone that doesn't know anything about all this craziness." Jacob looks up with bloodshot eyes at my words.

"You think I should just run away?" His voice hoarse from silent sobs.

"Yeah. Why not?" I shrug. "I think if going back home right now is going to cause you pain, run for the fucking hills." I give him a reassuring smile. "Maybe just call your dad every once in a while, so he knows you're not dead in a ditch somewhere." I shove him playfully. He lets out a chuckle at that, but it breaks into a sob halfway through and I can feel his agony in my heart. But then he's nodding his head.

Standing up to leave, I give him one last look. "Please don't stay away for too long. You're kind of important to me." He gives me a tearful smile as I break into a run and shift mid stride.

As I sprint through the trees towards home, I hear Jacob's heavy footsteps take off in the opposite direction until all I can hear is the wind whipping through my fur.

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter One: The Mastered Art of Charm 

Beams of sunlight dance with shadow, the trees swaying in the wind. The pattern of it drifts across my eyelids. The longer I lay here, eyes closed to the bright light, the deeper I sink into my own mind. So much has happened. To be fair, a whole lot of it has been good. But that's not where my mind wants to linger. A pair of bright red eyes have burrowed themselves into the depth of my subconscious and they're all I see anytime my thoughts wander. Those same eyes had once been a comfort to me. Many years ago... when they had been blue. Not the horror show that was haunting me now.

Once my dad had had time to process everything I'd told him - You know, long lost mom is actually alive and has been living in a medevil sewer somewhere in butt-fuck no where Italy, as a professional hypnotizer for dracula and his army - he'd asked me if she still seemed like herself, looked like herself. One of the hardest things I've ever done to this point was tell him no. She seemed like her old self had been swallowed whole by power. Like she'd been forced to do terrible things to make it this far. It wasn't until she'd pulled me aside in the field that day that I'd seen anything but a high ranking member of the vampire dictators club. She'd been lost to the vampire world, and sucked into Aro's cult. I refused to tell him about the bloodbath that was her eyes though. Those I saved as my own form of internal torture.

I've been mentally staring into those eyes for so long that I'm startled when I hear the grass shifting next to me, until the familiar scent of Paul eases its way into my very nerves, effectively wiping my mind clean of my mom. It's all pine, faint campfire and something manly that's just Paul.

The comfort of Paul's scent demands happier thoughts, and a whole new parade of memories come front and center. Laying on my bed in my aunt's house, talking about nothing with Leah. Baking muffins the size of a small child with Emily. The pack of furry teeangers I call my family, inhaling those muffins like they hadn't eaten in weeks. Laying on a blanket in the forest with the love of my life, surrounded by the protection of the trees and the warmth of his arms. A place we frequented a lot in the time since we'd imprinted on eachother. Where we're laying right now.

The back of Paul's hand is on my face, sweeping the hair away and coaxing me out of my head.

"Hey beautiful, did you fall asleep?" the soft whisper of Paul's deep voice pulling my eyes open.

"Oh yeah. I have totally mastered the art form of turning off one's brain and drifting off into a peaceful sleep." I mumble, turning to him with a smirk.

"I'm so glad to hear it. You've mastered sass, sarcasm, and now this too. You truly are amazing." His mouth is slightly turned up in the corner, betraying the steadiness of his voice.

"Anything in particular on your mind?"

"Just the usual. Demon eyes... That feeling of being pulled away from you." I confess.

Paul wiggles his arm under my head and pulls me onto his chest. My favorite place to be. Wrapped up in the warm, strong arms of my love. After a moment of silence Paul's voice breaks into the air.

"Nothing will ever be strong enough to pull you away from me, you hear me? I will never let you go." The pure conviction in his voice has me shifting in his arms to look up at him. The fire in his eyes knocks the breath from my lungs. I can't help myself from pushing up the last few centimeters to close the distance between us, my lips meeting his in a hungry kiss.

It doesn't take long for it to turn into something heavier, needier. Flipping my leg up over his hips, breaking the kiss only to move down his jaw to the spot on his neck that turns him feral. "You're a real smoother talker, Lahote." I whisper, letting my tongue run over his racing pulse.

"I warned you, I can't control this charm. I'm just a natural ladies ma—" his breath catches, as I effectively cut him off with a nip to that spot.

I shift my hips in Paul's lap and the growl that rumbles up his throat sets all my nerves on fire. He sits straight up, me still in his lap and pulls away to rest his forehead on mine.

He pulls back to look me in the eye, silently searching for consent to continue. With a frantic nod of my head I try and pull him back in, but his hand on my throat stops me. Not squeezing, just holding, keeping me exactly where he wants me.

"Uh-uh honey, you know that's not how this works. I wanna hear that pretty little voice of yours. Tell me what you want." He demands, voice husky with want.

I let out a whimper that makes Paul twitch. "I want you baby. In every dirty way my mind can think of."

Paul's eyes go impossibly dark at my words. He flips me over with a smirk. "Well where should we start then hey?"

And we spend the rest of the morning in the middle of the forest, learning just how dirty my mind can be. Until the rain pulls us out of our beautiful bubble.

[hmspogueobx]

Everything to me (Paul Lahote)

Chapter Fourteen: Everything to him...

The dead air on the phone is making me antsy. My dad hasn't said anything in a while and I'm starting to worry he's fainted or something.

"Dad? Are you still there?" I ask.

"Yeah honey. I'm here. Just... processing." His reply doesn't make me feel better. I've just filled him in on everything that's happened, and when I got to the part about mom, that's when the silence started.

"She's been alive all this time?" He sounds hopeful and I don't know what the right thing to say is.

"It would appear that way. But dad... I don't think she's really the same person we knew. I mean, she works as a professional hypnotist for the vampire king." I blurt out. Paul lets out a guffaw from my bed behind me but quickly covers it with a cough, mouthing an apology.

"Is that Paul there? What does he think about all this?" My dad asks. He'd taken to Paul immediately, knowing full well the details of imprinting. He knew I was in good hands.

"I don't know, we haven't had a chance to talk about it. I called you right away, I wanted you to know." I say.

"Well, I don't really know how to process this honey. I think I need some time with this."

"Ok dad. Call me when you can?" I say almost pleadingly.

"Of course. Bye for now." He says and the line goes dead.

Putting down my phone, I crawl onto the bed and curl into Paul's side. I'm completely drained.

"Did you want to talk about it?" Paul says softly.

"I wouldn't know what to say... How do you feel about this?" I mumble into his chest.

Paul shuffles down the bed so we're both lying down. "I've never been more scared in my life. You looked, gone. My instincts took over completely and I did everything I could to try and pull you back to me." I can feel the rising of his chest has picked up speed. Lifting my head up to look him in the eye, the look in his eye slowly changes. "We're going to figure this out together baby. I promise you."

"Thank you for pulling me back." I whisper, moving forward to connect our lips in a sweet kiss.

I've never felt so grateful for another person before. This man was my everything. We make each other stronger, happier, goofier, deeper, whole. I pour everything I'm feeling into this kiss, and it starts to get really desperate. I pull myself into Paul's lap and he lets out a moan.

I pull back slightly and rest my forehead on his.

"I love you." I breathe out. Paul closes his eyes and takes a shaky breath, as if he's just feeling too much all at once. When his eyes open again, they're filled with a fire I've never seen before. He flips me onto my back and I let out a shriek at the sudden action. Now he's got me pinned and, damn, if looks could kill.

"I love you too baby. So much." He says vehemently. And his mouth is on my neck, sucking and licking and kissing his way down to my chest and back up again. I hook my fingers around the hem of his shirt and yank it over his head. He seems unhappy to be disconnected for a brief second and our lips meet again in a needy kiss. Refusing to pull away, he grabs the edge of my shirt and rips it in two, pulling it from my body. It might have been the hottest thing I've ever had happen to me and I almost combust right there. My hips grind up into his on instinct and he lets out a growl, grinding back down into me. I can't take it anymore and I flip him over again so I'm straddling him. Shuffling down his body, I kiss my way down his chest as my fingers start to make work of his pants. He stops me.

"Hey, are you sure about this?" He asks, pulling my chin to make me look him in the eye.

"More than sure." I reply. And we spend the rest of the night getting completely lost in each other, forgetting the events of this exhausting day.

When I awake the next morning, I'm tangled in Paul's arms. It's the most comforting feeling in the world. Despite the events of the previous day, I have never felt more safe than I do in this moment. This is where I belong, with Paul. We are two halves to one whole. I am everything to him, and he is everything to me. Forever.

[hmspogueobx]

Everything to me (Paul Lahote)

Chapter Thirteen: Earth-rumbling

My mom doesn't seem surprised to see me at all. In fact I thought I saw a flicker of a smile flash across her face before a perfectly composed mask took over.

"Carmen, you failed to mention that your daughter lived in the supernatural world with us." The little girl comments in her eerie voice.

"She's only recently come to this world Jane." My mom says in reply.

Jane seems to lose her interest, until my mom moves towards me.

"What are you doing?" Jane inquires.

"I need to speak to my daughter in private. You deal with this mess, I'll meet you at home." My mom says.

"No. We are to deal with the Cullen's and report back to Aro." snaps Jane.

I'm having a hard time figuring out who's in charge here. There seems to be a power struggle between my mom and this Jane. So I'm only more confused when my mom turns to look Jane in the eye, and her voice turns smooth as butter, an almost mystical hum to it.

"I will talk to my daughter. Privately. I will join you when I am ready."

Jane's face is hard, but her eyes seem a little out of focus as she nods and continues her conversation with the Cullen's. They all have their eyes on my back as my mom pulls me into the woods until we are out of sight.

That's when I feel cold hard arms wrap me in an embrace.

"Oh darling I'd cry if I could!" My mother lets out in a tearless sort of sob. She pulls back and grabs my face in her hands, taking in the sight of my face. "Look how beautiful you are!"  She says with a dazzling smile. I'm really not sure what to do. My mind hasn't caught up and I stand there with my mouth gaping open.

"I can't imagine what you must be thinking darling. Can I fill you in on what's happened? Would that be ok?" My mother's voice is gentle, like she's trying not to scare me off. I manage a nod.

"I don't remember much from before I turned, but I always pushed to remember you and your father. I was walking home from the store alone I think, then I felt a horrible pain in my arm, like it was on fire. That's one thing I'll never forget. The fire. I don't know how long it lasted, but I woke up in the forest alone. I still to this day don't know who created me or why." Her eyebrows wrinkle together like she's trying to pull at a memory she can't quite reach. "Anyways, I knew from the legends what I'd become. I wanted nothing more than to come and find you and your father, but being so close to you, to anyone was dangerous. I hid for a while and when I finally felt ready to come back and find you, you'd gone. I did follow your trail to Vancouver. I actually tried to come see you at school once. But apparently I wasn't quite as ready as I thought. There were too many people around. I left before anything happened but I came really close to losing cont--"

"When?" I cut in. My mom tilts her head in question. "When did you come and see me at school?"

"You would have been 15 at the time. In March. I wasn't really keeping track of the days back then, but it was a really overcast day." She tells me, her perfect memory holding every detail.

I can't breath. My head is swimming and I can't seem to get my eyes to focus. It was her. I'd always wondered what had even triggered my shifting. We'd been so far away from the tribe. I'd assumed it was just because the gene was so strong in my bloodline. But no, it was because there had been a vampire very close, and the town needed a protector. She'd triggered the ancestors' pull within me to save my people from the enemy.

"You. You're the reason I shifted. That's the day I shift-f-ted for the first time." I can barely get the words out. Suddenly I'm filled with a rage at the fact that she could've come to see me earlier but just left me and my father to think she was dead.

"Why didn't you ever come to see us. And WHAT are you doing with them?" I nod my head back towards the group of creepy cloaked vampires. My breathing is coming in hot short bursts now.

"Darling it just wasn't safe. I wanted to give you guys a chance to move on. I had to make a life for myself somehow. I have a high place in the Volturi guard. I'm safe there." She says as explanation. "I have the ability to... get my way I guess. I'm really valuable to them."

"I can't believe it. All this time we thought you were dead. We mourned for you! And you were off living this pompous life with the bad guys?!" I'm shaking so violently now I can barely see her. I feel my spine twisting and rebuilding itself as I come down on four paws. It seems Sam had some of the boys stay in wolf form to keep tabs on me once they realized I wasn't with them, and they immediately flood my mind.

"Lucy! What's happened?" Jared's voice fills my head. I recap the last few minutes in my mind and I see that Paul is running, probably towards me.

I'm pacing back and forth in front of my mother. My anger is still pulsing through my veins.

"Darling, I know this must be hard to process. You have to know I always wanted to come back. But once I'd joined the Volturi, Aro forbid it."

I let out a huff at this. Did she not just say she had the ability to get what she wants?

"I couldn't defy my master. He's given me so much in this life." She says with a smile.

This isn't my mother. My mother was this care-free, bubbly woman who drew everyone in with her warm energy. I suppose she could still draw just about anybody in, but it seemed kind of voodoo-y to me now and it made my skin crawl. She doesn't look like she belongs to herself anymore, she looks brainwashed. My huffing has turned into low snarls because she's started moving towards me.

"Darling, relax. It's still me." She says reaching out her hand to rest on my muzzle, but I snap my jaw at her in warning, my hackles rising. This doesn't feel right and I want nothing more than to flee from this stranger before me.

My mother's voice becomes soft and I'm being sucked into her eyes.

"Darling. Relax. It's me, your mom. Come here." My body is moving without my permission. I still know that I don't want to, but I can't stop. I will my feet to stop moving forward, but It feels like my mind is stuck in someone else's body.

An earth-rumbling roar echoes through the trees behind me snapping my mind and body back together. Paul. I shuffle backwards and away from my mother as fast as my feet will carry me, and I'm beside Paul. He moves to stand in front of me and raises up taller than I've ever seen him. His need to protect me is making him stronger and more powerful.

"Amazing." My mother whispers to herself. I'd assumed that Paul's roar had simply startled my mother out of focus. But based on her reaction that's not the case. Had the strength of our bond just been that much more powerful? No one can hold any part of me over Paul.

My mom starts to back away slowly, eyes still on me.

"Don't worry darling. I'm sure I'll see you again." And with one last smile, she takes off and leaves no trace but the branches swaying from her swift departure.

[hmspogueobx]

Everything to me (Paul Lahote)

Chapter Twelve: Fighting newborn vampires for dummies

After a few all-nighters observing Jasper's 'Fighting newborn vampires for dummies' lessons, the pack is all squished around Sam and Emily's kitchen table for a pre-battle strategy meeting. Sam goes into full alpha mode as he goes over the plan.

"Jacob is already up in the mountain with Edward and Bella. They're going to stay up there through the battle to keep Bella away from the action. They made a trail with Bella's scent leading to the clearing to the northeast of the park. That's where the battle will happen. Seth will relieve Jacob at first light and Jake will come fight with us. Seth, your job is to help Edward protect Bella, should any of them get past us." Seth nods firmly like he's never taken any task more seriously in his life. Sam goes on.

"When the newborns come, we will be hidden in the tree line and surprise attack when they're in an optimal position. I will take the lead, with Jared and Paul on my flank. Everyone else follows in V formation and fan out. Make sure none of them get into the tree line. From there it's simple... Kill them before they kill you. Any questions?"

The group is quiet but buzzing with anticipation.

"This is going to be a piece of cake guys. There's nine of us and six Cullen's. Alright let's go. We sleep in the woods tonight!" Sam calls over his shoulder, he stops to give Emily a tender kiss, and marches out the door. Emily looks terrified, so I give her hand a squeeze as I pass her and whisper "I'll see you for lunch tomorrow cuz." and with a wink, I'm out the door.

We sleep in shifts on the hard forest floor until the sun comes up. We're arranged in our V formation, tucked away just out of sight for now. It's dead quiet as we all strain our ears for the sound of the oncoming horde of hungry angry newborns. We start to hear pounding feet and snarls, that gradually increase in volume. They're in the field now, we hear the Cullen's commence their attack, which cues Sam, Paul and Jared to dart forward, the rest of us seconds behind. I rush into the clearing and make an amazing leap over the boulder we were hidden behind.

There's vampires everywhere. They swarm the field like angry wasps but their moves are so predictable. I see one coming right at me and duck to the right at the last second, snapping my jaw sideways and pulling it's head from its body. Using the momentum from that, I whip my muzzle to the left and send another one flying into a tree on the edge of the space. I see Esme struggling to keep one's arms from wrapping around her and dive towards them. I use my front paws to kick the newborn off of her, so she can then finish it off herself. Another one throws himself at Esme and she grabs him and sends him soaring into the air. I take the opportunity and leap up, grabbing him between my teeth.

Just then, Jacob comes bounding through the trees, ripping into two newborns on his way, and stopping another from leaping onto Emmett. The odd sound of crunching glass surrounds us, which I've learned is the sound of vampires meeting their bitter end.

Across the field I see that a few newborns have crawled onto Paul's back and my heart leaps into my throat. But before I can panic too much, Emmet is there tearing them off.

At this point we're almost done, when we see through Seth's mind that Victoria and Riley are up in the mountains with them.

"You got this Seth. Follow your gut. Help Edward keep Bella safe." Sam orders.

We've just finished off the last of the newborns down here, Sam was right, piece of cake. Now we all wait and watch as Seth leaps out of his hiding spot and grabs Riley in his jaw.

"Yes Seth!" I congratulate him. Seth drags him away and starts to tear him to pieces. We can hear the shuffling of a fight over the ridge and it sounds like a pretty even fight. It's not until Seth climbs back over the ridge and sees Edward standing over Victoria's beheaded body that we all relax.

We've done it. We've won.

Thick purple smoke swirls all around us as we stand in the field victorious. I have shifted back into my human form in order to translate, telling them of what we saw happen in the mountains before Bella and Edward appear next to us.

Suddenly Leah perks up at the sight of a newborn missed.

"Leah don't!" I scream as she charges at the newborn. They roll around, and he almost gets her, but Jacob storms in and knocks him off. It's not long before the sound of crunching bones sends shivers down my spine.

"Jacob!" Bella yells and we all rush forward, Paul and Sam taking care of the newborn.

He's rolling on the ground, a silent scream on his face. The doctor says something about his bones but I'm not really listening. I'm sat on the grass in shock. Not being able to wrap my head around the fact that one of us actually got hurt... and bad. My mind flashes back to a rolling car. The sound of crunching metal and bone. My focus flickers between the agonized look on Jacob's face and my last look at Chantelle's. I don't even notice the tears pouring down my face. The boys bend down and gather Jacob as gently as they can, disappearing into the tree line with him focused on nothing but getting him home. I'm still sitting shocked in the grass when I'm yanked into a standing position by a cold hand.

"It's too late for her to get away now, they're almost here. They'd see her. Better for her to stay human and stand with us." Someone whispers hardly behind me.

As if out of nowhere, five hooded figures appear. I don't look up. I'm still stuck in my own mind. I do hear a small voice break the silence though.

"Impressive. I've never seen a coven escape an assault of this magnitude intact."

"We were lucky." Carlisle answers.

"I doubt that."

They continue their conversation, the sound of the little girl's voice putting me on edge. I finally peek up and around Emmett who was apparently standing in front of me to hide me from the strangers view. And my heart stops at the sight of the fifth woman, standing silently in the back. Black cloak thrown over her shoulders. Long brown waves tied up in a tight bun. Skin a chalky russet color.

"Mom?"