"You blush from your ears," you tell Sylus, like you're presenting him with groundbreaking knowledge. "It's never from your cheeks first, always your ears."
Sylus blinks, resisting the sudden urge to touch his ears.
"I don't blush at all, sweetie."
You hum, eyes sparkling mischievously.
"Of course you don't, oh big bad leader of Onychinus."
That small taunt earns you a soft swat to the bottom which you easily evade, delighted giggles pouring from your lips.
"Brat," he murmurs around a smile as you wink at him. "One usually has evidence along with their accusations."
You don't reply to that, don't say a single word but you look thoughtful and Sylus instantly knows that he's gotten himself into trouble.
The next morning, Sylus walks into the living room and stops right in his tracks when he's greeted by a blown up image of his face. The shot has been taken at just the right angle to show one of his ears. His ear which is flushed a deep red, the striking colour bleeding into the pale of his cheek.
Sylus stares at this photo for a long time, long enough for you to stroll into the living room with two mugs of coffee in hand. You pass him one, smiling victoriously when he silently accepts it.
"You asked for proof." Is all you say before you're sipping from your mug like the winner you are.
Sylus doesn't know whether to be proud, irritated or aroused.
꧁༒♛ 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬' 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐨♛༒꧂ (tw: sa, ed recovery)
an open letter to my community:
hi whores (affectionate), it's your leader, hales -
first of all, for those who don't want to read all this, know that this is NOT an "i'm quitting" post. so, please don't freak out!
by now, if you're reading this, you may have noticed that i haven't posted very much in 2026. truthfully, i've been struggling with feeling uninspired and burned out, and realized that some things need to change with the way i run my blog. so, this is an explanation post, both to tell you why i’ve been absent and to tell you what i’m planning on changing.
when i started writing obey me fanfic 5 years ago, i was 23, in grad school, and fresh off a breakup. i used writing fanfiction to explore kink while reckoning with sexual trauma and to cope with untreated mental illness.
my life looks so much different now. i'm 28, got married in september to my partner of 5 years (fun fact: the first people i told about him were in an obey me discord server i modded), and employed full time in a stressful & demanding social work job. i also recovered from an eating disorder at 24 and got diagnosed with lupus at 25.
my relationship to my free time and my hobbies has changed a lot. part of my inactivity is definitely that i’m busy and employed, and just don’t have as much time as i used to! but an even bigger part of this is my relationship to sex, which is relevant because sex & romance are the main subjects of my work.
my feelings about sex and smut are intrinsically linked to my body. in five years, my body has changed a lot, as bodies tend to do. i gained a significant amount of weight in anorexia recovery and went from being straight sized all my life to plus sized. i also got diagnosed with a chronic illness that i’ll have for the rest of my life. this means i deal with both chronic pain and chronic side effects from being on a cocktail of medications. both of these things, combined with difficult formative experiences around sex, have impacted both how desirable i feel at times and the type of sex i am able to have.
as a survivor of both sexual and medical trauma, my relationship to sex has always been complicated. i began experiencing pain during sex as early as my first penetrative sex, got diagnosed with chronic yeast & BV infections, and at 18, i was diagnosed with vaginismus and vulvodynia. this means that sex and pain have been synonymous for much of my life. it also meant that i was the only high schooler i knew who was dealing with these issues. here i was, buying expensive hypoallergenic lubricant in secret through my boyfriend's amazon account at a time that most of my peers weren't having sex, let alone worrying about buying lube or getting swabbed at the gyno. and because i didn't feel comfortable talking to my parents or friends about it, i navigated most of this between google and my doctor's office. luckily, i had access to medical care when i needed it and my doctors never judged me about my age, but i did feel incredibly alone at the time.
on top of that, my first sexual partner was extremely coercive and pressured me into believing that sex was something i "owed him" by virtue of us being in a relationship. we were long distance my freshman year of college, and when he would come visit me on the weekends, he made me feel like i had to have sex with him because it was the only time we'd spend together that week. this led me to experiencing a lot of pain and also to doing things that made me uncomfortable and pushed my boundaries. i'm not saying this to garner sympathy, because i know i'm not the only one - but i feel like it's important to understand that my formative experiences around sex were altogether negative.
i started reading and writing smut a few years later, at a time when my relationship to sex was at its most vulnerable. i had just been through a breakup with a long-term partner who was incredibly self-centered. during that time, i'd gotten diagnosed and had laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis. one of my main symptoms was pain and bleeding during sex, and one of the main treatments i tried was going on a hormonal medication that killed my sex drive and dried out my coochie. altogether, we hadn't had sex for almost a year. but when i thought about having sex again, i found myself yearning for a kind of sex he wasn't able to give me... which led me to a place of exploring kink through fanfiction for the first time.
i'll forever be grateful that i started writing smut, because it allowed me to experience joy connected to sex for the first time in my life. but unfortunately, healing in a sexual context is not a linear journey. to be honest, there have probably been more sexual encounters in my life that have ended in tears than those that have not. that isn't to say that my sex life has been bad - i've had lots of very satisfying, loving sex that has still ended in tears. i cry because sex is a trigger that brings up challenging emotions. and when i began to have sex in the context of a committed relationship and not just a hookup or situationship again, it brought up new triggers that i am still struggling to negotiate to this day.
additionally, thanks to having lupus - and still having endometriosis, vaginismus, and vulvodynia on top of it - i can't have the kind of spontaneous, seamless sex that most of us on tumblr dot com like to read and write about. i've experienced lots of love and pleasure during sex, but more often than not, my sexual encounters include the non-glamorous side that we don't often spotlight in fanfic. for example, taking painkillers and a shower 30 minutes before sex (NOT spontaneous, lube-free sex); having to change positions mid-thigh cramp; and, frequently, sex that doesn't result in orgasm for one or both partners.
why am i sharing all of this when it's, frankly, tmi? well, for starters, i wanted to empower myself to bring this part of the story into the light. healing narratives, and honestly any kind of het sex outside of “she squirted instantly from penetration alone,” aren’t commonly shared in the smut community. and while it’s fun to daydream - and to write unrealistic scenes at times - i began to feel really isolated and alone in my experiences as a writer. the other reason i’m sharing is so that now, i can tell you what i’m going to be doing about it. because honestly, i think that the unrealistic narratives i see in so much smut (including my own!) are part of what has been burning me out creatively.
as a fanfic author, i'm not paid for my work. i've written whole novels' worth of sex scenes at this point, purely for the love of the game. but that doesn't mean i don't feel pressure to cater to the tumblr economy; to its ever-changing algorithms; to the magical combination of tropes and sound effects and anime banner graphics that will yield the most reblogs, likes, and comments. no one wants to feel like they're writing in a vacuum, even if they're only doing it just for fun.
so, it can be really tempting to follow trends and write what's popular, instead of writing what makes you happy. but at risk of sounding like a tumblr elder (which, let's face it, i probably am at this point), i'm aware that a lot of tumblr authors putting out popular content are much younger than me, closer to the age i was when i first started this gig. frankly, i've lived a lot more life (and sucked a lot more dick) than most of the up-and-coming fandom authors (that was a joke. you can write good smut no matter your body count!) - and the older i get, the more i long to see my own sexual experiences reflected in the body of work online.
through my writing, i want to offer what i needed and what i didn't have when i was going through my own experiences with sexual pain and healing. i want to write about a kind of sex that we don't see as often, that probably won't get as many notes, but that speaks to me more... the kind of sex most of us are having, where bodily fluids and tangled limbs and stray pieces of hair get in the way; where the dog barks or the baby cries, snapping you out of your lustful haze mid-orgasm; and where sometimes, all the lube and all the oral in the world just won't make you or your partner climax - but that doesn't mean the sex wasn't good anyways. and, some weeks, i want to write fanfic that has nothing to do with sex at all, just because i need a mental break from constantly being exposed to my greatest trigger.
that doesn't mean i never want to write porn-without-plot again, or that i'm not allowing myself to write unrealistic sex scenes ever again. i just don't want to feel pigeonholed into that particular formula in order to keep my audience interested and to keep up with popular accounts. i want to broaden my horizons, and start writing for me again (and for younger me) instead of catering to some stupid algorithm. because at the end of the day, i'm in this for fun and creativity, not to make an influencer career out of it.
and on that note, i've also realized that one of the things stifling my creativity is the constant pressure i put on myself to participate in the parasocial tumblr environment. over my entire fanfiction "career," i've had the problem of committing to ambitious challenges, requests, or events because i wanted to please my "fans," only to completely abandon the project halfway through. the problem is that i have adhd and the fastest way to ensure that i'm never going to do something is to force myself to do it in a prescriptive manner.
my whole five years on tumblr, i don't think i've ever published a kinktober on time or finished every piece i set out to write for an event. and truly, i love my moots! so, i always felt like i was letting y'all down by not doing what i promised to do. this added to the vicious cycle of fanfiction being associated with the feeling of disappointing others - when what it should be about is sparking my own joy and creativity.
y'all may have noticed that my five year event has been indefinitely on hold. well, i'm not completely scrapping those ideas, but i can definitively say that i will not be doing that event (or any others) anymore. i also won't be participating in challenges like kinktober or kinkmas, or accepting requests through my blog. because i've realized what i need to stay motivated to write is the kind of passion and interest that only comes from releasing the pressure of parasociality and deadlines. i'll forever be grateful to opportunities like kinktober, which helped me gain exposure as a young author on tumblr. but at the end of the day, i need my writing to be between me and my laptop again. once i've healed that relationship, then maybe i can revisit. but for now, i can't make any promises.
so, i can't tell you when i'm going to be publishing my next piece of work. what i can tell you is that i'm finishing the last chapter of man's best friend currently, and that i've made more progress on it in the last month since i came up with this new approach to fanfic than i have in all of the months prior. and i hope for those of you who want to see more of my writing, knowing that i've renewed my passion and commitment to fanfiction will be enough to make you stick around.
i know that i've said a lot, but for those of you who stayed with me until the end - thank you for hearing me out <3 xo, hales
and, for those of you who didn't read a word i said, here's the tl;dr: to address my burnout, i am no longer participating in events/challenges on tumblr or taking reader requests. i'm also challenging myself to make the smut in my stories more realistic - but still sexy - so that hopefully, more of us can see our experiences reflected in the smut we read online xx
bestfriend!kei accidentally rats himself out for having a huge crush on you.
wc: 1.4k
usually, the air in tsukishima’s room smells like expensive laundry detergent and the faint, lingering scent of old books, but today it was saturated with something far more lethal: the scent of your shampoo. it was a tactical assault on his senses. he sat at his desk, pretending to care about a history textbook, but his brain was busy cataloging the exact frequency of the fabric of your hoodie rubbing against his bean bag chair.
he was currently enduring a very specific kind of torture, one where he had to pretend that your presence didn’t make his pulse do a frantic tap-dance against his ribs. it was exhausting. he deserved a medal, or perhaps a small kingdom, for the restraint he was showing by not simply collapsing at your feet and asking you to step on him.
“i’m heading out to the convenience store,” you announced, stretching your arms over your head. the movement caused your shirt to ride up a fraction of an inch, and tsukishima felt his soul temporarily leave his body through his tear ducts. “do you want anything?”
he didn’t even look up. if he looked up, he was compromised. the golden light of the afternoon was hitting your hair in a way that made him want to write a five-page thesis on the physics of light reflection.
“yeah,” he muttered, his voice a dry rasp that betrayed absolutely nothing—he hoped. “your affection. but whatever.”
the silence that followed was heavy enough to crush a small sedan. tsukishima froze. the words had slipped out like a rogue spy escaping a high-security prison. his heart was trying to punch its way through his sternum to find a more dignified owner.
“what?” you asked, tilting your head.
tsukishima finally turned, his face a masterpiece of practiced indifference, though his ears were glowing a shade of red usually reserved for emergency flares and fire trucks.
“what.” he repeated, deadpan.
“did you just ask for my affection?”
“i asked for strawberry shortcake,” he lied, the falsehood so blatant it practically grew a nose. “clearly, the lack of sugar is making you hallucinate. it’s a tragic symptom of your deteriorating mental faculties. go buy your snacks and leave me to die in peace.”
“kei,” you said, stepping closer. you didn’t call him ‘kei’ often. usually, it was nicknames or just a sharp poke to the ribs. when you said his name like that—soft, like something just shared between you two—it felt like a physical weight pressing against his lungs. “i heard you.”
tsukishima felt like a cornered animal, if that animal was six-foot-three, wore glasses, and was hopelessly in love with a girl who thought he was just a grumpy beanpole. he pushed his glasses up his nose, the plastic clicking against his skin. he wanted to vanish. he wanted to be a puddle. he wanted to be the very floorboards you were standing on so he could support the weight of your entire life.
“your hearing is as questionable as your taste in movies,” he snapped, though the bite was gone. his hands were shoved so deep into his pockets he might have been touching his kneecaps.
you didn’t back down. instead, you leaned into his space, your eyes shimmering with a mix of amusement and something that made his knees feel like they were made of overcooked noodles. “you’re blushing.”
“it’s the lighting.”
“it’s four in the afternoon and we’re in the shade.”
“the sun is reflecting off the neighbor’s roof,” he countered, his brain scrambling for any logical explanation that didn’t involve him admitting he would literally let you ruin his life if you asked nicely.
you reached out, your fingers grazing his forearm. the contact was electric. to tsukishima, it felt like being struck by lightning, except the lightning was warm and smelled like fruit. he felt a desperate, localized heat blooming wherever you touched him. he was a goner. he was a pathetic, shivering mess of a man disguised as a cynical middle blocker.
“if you wanted affection,” you whispered, moving even closer until he could see the tiny flecks of sparkles in your eyes, “you could have just asked. you don’t have to be a weirdo about it.”
“i’m not a weirdo,” he breathed, his height suddenly feeling like a disadvantage because he had to look down so far to see the person who held his entire cardiac rhythm in the palm of her hand. “i’m a person with standards. standards that you’re currently vibrating against.”
“shut up,” you laughed, and the sound was so bright it felt like a direct insult to every miserable thought he’d ever had.
before he could formulate a witty retort about your lack of decorum, you surged forward. you buried your face in the crook of his neck, your arms wrapping around his waist.
tsukishima stopped breathing. his nervous system went into a full-scale lockdown. he felt the soft pressure of your chest against his, the puff of your breath against his skin, and the world simply ceased to exist. there was no volleyball, no exams, no annoying teammates—only the weight of you.
his hands hovered in the air for a second, trembling like a victorian orphan in a blizzard, before he finally broke. he collapsed into the embrace, his long arms winding around you with a ferocity that bordered on primal. he tucked his chin over your head, squeezing you so tight he was worried he might actually merge with your atoms.
“you’re so warm,” he murmured into your hair, his voice losing every ounce of its defensive edge. it was a vulnerable sound, a complete surrender. “it’s annoying. everything about you is an inconvenience to my peace of mind.”
“is that so?” you teased, muzzling into his sweater. “should i let go?”
“if you let go, i’m filing a police report for emotional battery,” he threatened, though he was currently stroking the back of your head with a tenderness that could have melted a glacier.
he was so far gone. he was wandering in the desert of your attention and he never wanted to find an exit. the way you fit perfectly under his chin felt like a cosmic joke, a puzzle piece designed by a deity who specifically wanted to see tsukishima kei lose his entire mind.
he pulled back just enough to look at you, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw with a reverence usually reserved for ancient artifacts. his expression was no longer bored or smug; it was tender. he looked at you like you were the only source of oxygen in a vacuum.
“i don’t want anything from the store,” he admitted, his voice dropping to a low, honeyed register. “i was being literal. i want you to stay here and keep making me feel like my heart is going to explode. it’s a very interesting sensation for me. i’d like to study it for the next fifty to sixty years.”
you beamed at him, a smile so radiant it probably could have powered a small city for a month. “fifty years? that’s a long time, tsukki.”
“i’m a very thorough student,” he whispered, leaning down.
when his lips finally met yours, it was a bit clumsy at first—the height difference was a logistical nightmare—but then his hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you upward, and everything clicked. it tasted like strawberry lip balm and the kind of quiet, domestic forever that tsukishima had spent his whole life pretending he didn’t want.
he kissed you like he was trying to memorize the texture of your soul. he kissed you with the bottled-up desperation of a thousand nights spent staring at his ceiling, wondering if you could hear his heart screaming through the walls.
when you finally broke for air, he kept his forehead pressed against yours, his eyes closed. his glasses were slightly crooked, and his hair was a disaster from your fingers running through it. he looked human. he looked happy.
“forget the store,” you breathed, clutching the front of his shirt. “i think i have everything i need right here.”
tsukishima let out a huff of a laugh, a genuine, throat-deep sound that vibrated through both of your chests. he pulled you back into the circle of his arms, burying his face in your shoulder once more, determined to never let another inch of space come between you again.
the history textbook remained forgotten on the desk, its pages fluttering in the breeze, utterly useless compared to the lesson he was currently learning about the gravity of a girl who finally loved him back.
n: this was supposed to be a crackfic but i somehow turned it into a sweet fic.
summary: in which you ask the lads boys if you can put a collar on them.
ft. xavier, zayne, rafayel, sylus & caleb
notes: MDNI / NSFW (obvi), xavier is down and confused, zayne is a delight, rafayel is weird (and mentions abo dynamics...yes i feel insane...no do not bring up the insanity...please), sylus is a little freak, caleb is a Big Freak. no explicit mentions of gender (!!!), allusions to/implied violence (briefly in sylus's), and obviously mentions of kinks/sexual content LOL. that's it (i think)
p.s. this is based on a req hehe. i hope you like it (even if just a little bit ^^)
a/n: this was actually so fucking fun to make i like making them weird freaks please i love leaving my full time job to come home and talk about 3D game characters barking for you...do not mention this...ty for reading (- -)(_ _)
dryhumping with caleb when gran is sleeping in the next room.
tw: pesudocest
The summer nights are sticky and unbearable, the old ceiling fan doing nothing but pushing hot air around your room. Grasshoppers chirp endlessly outside, but you’re not in your bed.
You’re in Caleb’s.
Your hips are fused to his, grinding slow and lazy in the dark. Both of you are barely dressed — you in nothing but his oversized shirt and a pair of thin panties, he in just his black boxers that do nothing to hide how hard he already is.
Your lips are locked in messy, sloppy kisses, tongues sliding wetly against each other, breathing each other’s air like you’re starving. Every roll of your hips drags your soaked pussy right along the thick, clothed length of his cock.
“Mmmhh… gege…” you moan softly into his mouth.
Caleb hums low in his throat, hands gripping your hips tighter, pulling you down harder against his bulge. The friction is delicious, filthy, and the thrill of Gran sleeping just one thin wall away makes everything ten times hotter.
You should be terrified.
Instead, you’re dripping.
You rub your clothed cunt desperately over his hardened bulge, feeling every ridge and vein through the thin fabric. Caleb lets out a broken little whimper and snaps his hips up sharply, earning a high-pitched squeak from you.
“Careful, pipsqueak…” he rasps against your lips, biting your bottom one gently. “Won’t wanna let Gran know how filthy we’re being…”
You nod frantically, already leaning back in for another messy kiss, tongues tangling again.
This isn’t your first time doing this.
Every single night since he came back, you’ve slipped into his room the moment the house goes quiet. Every time you’ve begged him to just fuck you properly — told him you could take it, that you wanted it so bad — Caleb has refused with that stubborn, guilty look in his eyes.
“That’s not what a brother should do to you,” he always says, voice tight.
So instead, you both settle for this — dry humping each other like desperate, overheated dogs until you cum in your panties and he spills in his boxers.
Tonight is no different.
You crawl into his bed wearing only his shirt and panties. He’s already waiting, lying on his back in just his boxers, his heavy cock straining hard against the fabric, a dark wet spot already forming at the tip.
“Gege…” you whisper, crawling on top of him.
“I know what you need, meimei…” he murmurs, pulling you into what starts as an innocent hug.
It lasts exactly three seconds.
His arms tighten around you and the innocent hug instantly turns into heated, frantic dry humping. You drag your soaked pussy along the full length of his cock, grinding down hard while he bucks up to meet every roll of your hips.
His hands slip under your shirt, big palms cupping your tits, thumbs teasing and rolling your nipples until they’re tight and aching.
You whimper into his mouth, grinding faster, the fabric between you growing slicker and messier with every desperate movement.
Caleb’s breath hitches against your lips as you grind particularly hard over the head of his cock.
“Fuck… baby sister, just like that, ahhh shit…” he whispers, voice strained. “You love gege's dick so much, huh? Well then, make yourself cum on it… even if it’s still in my shorts.”
You moan softly, nodding, hips moving faster, chasing that perfect friction while Gran sleeps peacefully just one room away.
Only the nights belong to you two.
Because neither of you wants that old woman next door to ever find out that her two failed experiments are busy experimenting on bed.
A/N : throws this at the faces of ppl who are pressed about the "baby sister" thing and runs away.
@ CHERRYSCRIPT 2026— don't copy translate feed my work to ai.
thinkin about sweet southern cowboy!caleb who’s the perfect gentleman, polite as can be, but fucks you harder than the bulls he wrangles… cowboy!caleb who calls you ma’am in public, but honey in bed with that slow southern drawl of his… cowboy!caleb who takes care of his boots almost as well as he takes care of you… cowboy!caleb whose ass looks just a little too good in those jeans and arms just a little too big for that button down he’s got pushed up to his elbows… cowboy!caleb who takes you out dancing every. single. friday. whether he’s dead beat tired or right as rain…. cowboy!caleb who picks wildflowers from the fields at work and leaves them in a little mason jar on your dining room table… cowboy!caleb who always makes sure to kick the dust off his boots before entering your home… cowboy!caleb whose hands, rough and calloused from outdoor labor, feel so so good sinking into your wet heat… cowboy!caleb who rushes home from work, water dripping from the brim of his hat and soaked to the absolute bone in his haste, to hold you through the summer storms… cowboy!caleb who buys you a pretty, little hat to match his then braids your hair all nice, just so he can pull on it later while he takes you from behind like a damn dog… cowboy!caleb who only takes his hat off for one thing and one thing only <3
You are the top Surgical Doctor intern, along with Maki, Yuta and Toge. You all are exhausted from passing the first month, sixteen plus hour days, days you don't even go home, all to get a top spot with the star Surgeon, Dr. Gojo, your resident doctor and boss. Or as you call him, Dr. Hojo. He's takes nothing serious but his surgeries it seems, and has a reputation for being a player, but he has that top spot, so you want to prove your worth! You just have to ignore those stupid butterflies he gives you, and those pretty blue eyes, along with his interest in you, and focus!
=͟͟͞♡ Pairings:- Doctor !Gojo x Intern! Reader
=͟͟͞♡ Contents/warnings- talk of addiction, prescription abuse, tapering and having minor withdrawals, a lot of angst, sad bb Dr Gojo </3 but a lot of fluff too, loving reader, relationship building - period sex, sexual tension, oral sex (m and f receiving) dry humping, oral over clothes, making out, breed kink, Xanax use bc it's Dr gojo lol- 8k
credits to my bb @uhnosav for beta reading for me and helping me with ideas on this one! I luv u 🥹 my slow updating doctor is getting love!
art creds @/maronjapan9art
=͟͟͞♡ Part eleven =͟͟͞♡ Playlist =͟͟͞♡ Masterlist =͟͟͞♡
=͟͟͞♡ Part twelve =͟͟͞♡
Satoru his entire life has been praised for how perfect he is at everything, there were high expectations of the Gojo name itself, and he was absolutely the top of his medical field. Everyone loved Gojo, it’s why he was getting that appointment to chief surgeon now, after all, and surely that had much to do with just how talented, brilliant and ‘perfect’ of a surgeon he was.
He sure the fuck doesn’t feel perfect when he goes back to work and is on the lowest doses he’s ever been on of his pills, adderall was honestly at a normal level he’d prescribe, xanax as needed, not snorting them to hit that high like he loves. But the levels are so low he’s starting to get exhausted, feeling far, far less energy than his usual sped up brain.
“The thing is, you don’t score high enough on the adhd scale, Satoru,” Suguru said, and he sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Well no shit, Sugu, but I still love addies,” Satoru damn near pouted at his friend. “Can I not stay on it at all?”
“You can but we need to get you to human levels, not whatever the fuck these are,” he raises his brow when he looks at the bottle. “You take four thirty mgs a day!?”
“Well more but…” Suguru’s eyes widened. “Hah I mean… yeah.”
“You need to get down to thirty.”
“Thirty!?”
“Not immediately, let's try for sixty?” Satoru sighed and sat down in his seat across from Suguru, grimacing. “Ninety then?”
“Yeah sure,” Suguru looks at his xanax now, frowning. “Satoru, how the fuck do you even get scripts this high?”
“I’m a doctor, duh,” Suguru sighs even louder that time. “I’ve cut back a bit on them?”
“You take how many bars a day.”
“Um… eight?”
“Eight!?”
“Stop acting so surprised,” Satoru takes the bottle and pops one in his mouth, frowning at the label. “You knew I took a lot.”
“I thought you were at the ten mg limit for sure, but that’s… sixteen? How do you function?”
“Pretty well actually,” he spins the bottle and tosses it back to him, phone buzzing on his thigh, he sees it’s you. “What should we bring it to?”
“Ten.”
“Ten mg? Boo,” he runs a hand through his hair, before texting you back. “Fine I suppose that’s okay.”
“To start.”
“To start!?”
“Then we’ll settle it at six mg,” Satoru’s shoulders slump. “Stop pouting, don’t act like you didn’t ask me for help. Are you still on klonopin too?”
“Only for the taste,” Suguru stands up and smacks Satoru in the back of the head. “What!?”
“Jesus Satoru,” he snatches up that bottle now, sighing. “Okay these doses aren’t the worst. But why mix benzos?”
“It’s the perfect combo, it’s my steady hand secret,” he wiggles his long fingers now.
“You can get off these, can’t you? You may withdrawal for a few days, but-”
“Off them?”
“One anti anxiety is enough, find something else you like to taste,” Satoru smirks. “Stop being slutty.”
“I didn’t even say it!”
“You’re thinking loud enough. Then taste her and stop those, the xanax would negate most of the symptoms.”
He grimaces. “Of course I wanna taste her, but I also wanna-”
“No.”
“Fuck me…”
Suguru tilts his head. “You’re just not my type, Satoru.”
“Pshh,” he grins and winks. “You know I am, baby. Don’t make my girl jealous though.”
He rolls his violet yes, leaning back just a bit and peering at another bottle. “You’re on ambien too?”
“That plus a glass of wine is-”
“You don’t need it.”
“What – Sugu,” he shakes his head and frowns at the bottle. “I really can’t sleep without it.”
Suguru dismantles all his goddamn medications right in front of his forlorn face, divvying out what he’ll need in a pill case, utterly ignoring him. “You don’t need ambien when xanax and zoloft have sedative effects, just take the xanax before bed. Plus you’ll be going from eight bars to three eventually.”
“Ugh!!”
He just smirks, handing him the case. “There, old man.”
“You’re months younger you little shit,” he does feel old with the damn baby blue pill case with day and night listed. “What if I need more?”
“You won’t, but if so I’ll give your girlfriend these, but only use them in case of an actual emergency.”
“I will…” he trails off. “I wouldn’t put her in a position to have to give me them when I don’t need them.”
“Good. Satoru?” He paused Satoru before he walked out. “You can taper down, I know you can. They didn’t make you the doctor you are.”
Satoru pauses and just turns back around, his hand on the knob of the door, sighing.
He’s not sure he really believes that.
*****
The next seven days are a special kind of hell – a self imposed one that Satoru Gojo, willingly chose to enter. The decision to get clean for you felt like the right thing, especially if he wants to be the man you deserve, potentially having a child one day, thinking of being a good man – a good partner, good husband, yet the reality of cutting his medications by a third was brutal.
By all means he was still higher than any dose a ‘doctor’ would give, but Satoru’s tolerance is so damn high it feels like barely enough to make it through the day. His thoughts are sluggish, when he usually has lightning fast responses, he takes a minute to focus first, a decade of medication clearly making it difficult to actually remember what reality was like.
It’s not like he has to stop taking these, he just has to get to human levels – he knows that realistically, but it doesn’t help anything. Every calculation he’d normally zap in his brain just took a hair longer, unable to focus completely like usual, he keeps getting distracted when he thinks of you still at home, he’s taking on small hours when needed and then rushing back to you.
Without the Ambien thoroughly fucking knocking him out, fatigue hits more, eight hours of sleep does nothing to touch it, and he’s started to have nightmares.
“Satoru,” you wake him up on the third day, he’s covered in sweat, crying out your name, you try to wake him up when he starts damn near thrashing, and you go falling right off the bed. “Ow, shit!”
“Baby,” he immediately wakes up and rushes down with you on the floor, tugging you against him. “Oh my god I’m so sorry!”
“It’s fine I was trying to wake you,” you wince a bit and rub your hip, seeing his sheen of sweat glimmering in the dark of his room. “Satoru, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he stands up and pulls you into his arms, hugging you tightly and resting his chin on your head. “I had a nightmare… I’ve never really… I haven’t dreamt hardly in years.”
“What was it about?” He swallows – throat dry, cupping your face and looking at you with his eyes bloodshot.
“You,” he murmurs quietly, you touch his wrist, his hand goes to your tummy now, making you tremble. “I dreamt you were having a baby.”
“A baby?”
“Yeah… but you left me.”
Your heart starts aching then. “What? I’d never, Toru.”
“I wouldn’t blame you, hah…” He laughs without humor, turning away just for you to follow him. “I’ll be back, I need a drink.”
“Then I’m coming with,” you rush up with him, feet padding across the cold tile, tugging his dress shirt tighter around you.
“No,” he says it firmly and you pause, standing there and looking at his back, the strong muscles showing even in the dark, tense as fuck. “Please give me a bit and I’ll be back in bed.”
“But I want to be here for you, like you were for me?” Your hand brushes his shoulder and he tenses even more, looking back at you.
“I just hurt you.”
“Oh my god, I’m fine. Satoru let me get you a drink -”
“I can’t have you see me like this,” he tugs away now and walks over to the sink, pouring a glass and downing it, like he can’t get enough water. “Go to bed intern, I’ll be back in there soon.”
You pause and his eyes narrow, when you go to step closer he snaps at you – something he’s never done.
“Will you just go!?”
Your lips tremble and you rush off to your room, leaving him to curse, shutting his eyes and looking at his shaky hands in frustration, before flinging that glass and letting it smash into pieces against the fridge. You looked fucking horrified, but perhaps you feeling sorry for him was almost as bad as that – almost – he remembers your fear in the locker room that day, playing over and over in his mind.
He rushes back into the room and finds you buried under the blankets, little sobs from your chest breaking his heart. “Sweetheart…”
“I’m sorry,” he sighs and tugs the blanket down, cupping your face and hating himself for your tears. “I was too much.”
“You’re never fucking too much,” he swipes them off and kisses your brow, his head pounding. “I just need you not to see me like…”
“Like what, Satoru?”
“Not strong,” he finally whispers, sighing and resting his head on yours, running his hand across your cheek. “Not perfect.”
“I’ve seen you not perfect, I’ve seen you fucked up, I can handle it,” you look down at his lips now, bitten to death by his own teeth. “But I haven’t seen you ever be mean.”
“I know, come here please,” he tugs you to him, wrapping his long arms around your body. “I don’t want to ever be mean to you.”
“It’s okay, I just… didn’t expect it to upset me, it reminded me…”
“I know,” he shuts his eyes, brushing your hair with his fingers carefully. “I promise I’d never intentionally hurt you.”
“I want to be here for you – please,” you sniffle now and he sighs. “I don’t need you to be perfect, I can handle it all – I told you.”
“Come here,” he tugs you on his chest, turning on his back now, you snuggle up against him when he puts you on his chest. “Are you gonna chase my nightmares away too, pretty?”
“Mhm,” you wrap your arms around him and let him tuck you underneath the blankets. “Satoru I’d never leave. Was the baby upsetting to you?”
“No, scary sure, not upsetting…” He runs his fingertips up your spine, feeling your heartbeat thudding against his chest, tightening his hold. “I told you that I’m going to try to get to where I won’t hate the idea, and in the dream? I wanted it.”
“You did?” you lean up and place a hand on one side of him, he nods and tucks your hair behind your ear.
“I was so upset because you finally thought better and left,” you shake your head, exhaling and pressing a kiss on his bitten lips.
“I’m here, I want to be here.”
“Then chase the next ones away?” You smile and hug him again, curling up against his side, thigh slung over his hips. “I’m sorry I was snappy with you baby, I can’t say that won’t happen though. I’ve tried before and gotten horrible.”
“I can take it,” your eyes shut, feeling his warmth. “I love you.”
“I love you sweetheart,” he presses a kiss to your temple, staring at the ceiling for far too long.
All he wants to do is not hurt the girl he loves.
*****
By day seven you’re back at work – in his opinion before you should be, but he can’t ever tell your stubborn ass shit. He loves seeing you every day, but he can’t help but wish you were in bed safe. He’s cold constantly as he tapers off more, it’s this horrible chill that has him wearing his jacket over his lab coat – over the scrubs and a long sleeve shirt.
You’re so cute, you keep trying to warm him up with sneaky little hugs and slipping your hand through his, though everyone now knows about your relationship. You two had gone to HR and though they were pissed off at first, who were they to tell the best surgeon they had ‘no’ to anything? There were some regulations and you now were working under Nanami instead, though.
He still saw you plenty but you weren’t his intern any longer.
Though at least he trusted Nanami with his own life and yours, and he knows you’ll blossom under his guidance. It works better if anything considering the sheer level of distraction you two have any moment you’re together, especially since aside from that first night, Satoru hasn’t been okay enough to even touch you.
That night he’d yelled at you haunted him, you hadn’t even brought it up but the way he wanted to roughly fuck you, claim every piece of you for himself, it was making him feel even more out of control. You had surgery and the last thing he needed to do was bend you over the desk and shove himself inside of you.
You were back at home – he wishes you weren’t.
He wanted you to stay with him and yet he didn’t need you to see him like that, he could put on a decent front at work but once he got home it was like the illusion just shattered.
Of course you two kissed – desperately in fact, but Satoru truly was terrified at this point to hurt you in some way. The fear of hurting you again becomes a constant, gnawing anxiety that just grows as he functions on a lower level of medication, remembering how upset you were when he snapped at you the way he did.
“Toru,” you murmur to him softly when you slip in his office, your color is all back and you have this pretty smile.
Fuck you make him ache.
“Intern,” he teases, leaning back in his office chair with his thighs spread wide, lips quirking up in a hint of a smile as you shut the door behind you. “Done with your shift?”
“I am,” you walk over to him aching yourself – you’d not been with him since that night you all made love when you’d first healed up. You know Satoru hasn’t been feeling the best, and you want to support him, but of course you wished for you both to be closer. “How are you feeling, doctor?”
“Better now,” he breathes out when you lean forward in front of him, standing between those thighs, your hands on his shoulders. His own come to rest on your waist, his lips pressing against your collar bone in a little kiss. “Mmm, you used my favorite shampoo.”
“I did,” your little laugh almost ruins him, how he’d feared he’d never fucking hear it again, your fingers carding through his hair. “Toru I’m starting to feel a lot better as in… like better…”
He chuckles a bit, looking up at you now. “Oh? You feel better even though you rushed going back to work?”
“It was a successful surgery, and the ultrasound showed I kept most of that tube too,” you take his hand and put it on your stomach, making him look at it over your light blue scrubs, swallowing just a bit. “Thanks to two amazing doctors.”
“It was mostly Shoko,” he kisses your chest, hand trembling against your skin, making him curse as he looks at it. “Fuck.”
“Are you lowering again?” You ask quietly, he nods just a bit. “Don’t lower too drastically please?”
“No, I’m not and it’s still like that,” he eases back and grabs his drawer, pulling out the xanax bottle. He’d die to snort one off you, but rather than that he hands it to you instead. “Dose me up, intern.”
You take his bottle and open it carefully, slipping that pill into his mouth and closing it gently, heart breaking as you see how deep he’s struggling. You want your happy, sweet Satoru who’s constantly ready for you but that’s not truly him, not with as much as he’s been taking for years. He kisses your fingers and shuts his eyes, pill right under his tongue, sighing.
“Don’t pity me.”
“I don’t!” He looks down and you grab his face, glaring now. “I don’t pity you one bit, Satoru Gojo. I just wish that I could make it easier.”
“You do make things easier,” he sighs. “Just don’t look at me that way.”
Your brows draw together. “I am just wishing that I could help, not out of pity but because I love you so much,” you swallow as emotions hit, and he sighs now, bringing you even more flush against his hard body, kissing your lips as you taste the xanax on his tongue. “Mnh…”
“Fuck,” he’s feeling it in his bloodstream as he feels your lips underneath his, the taste of you mixing with it has always been his favorite.
By all fucking means Satoru is still high as fuck by any normal person’s standards, he’s just almost to a human level and not a horse tranquilizer. But he can’t help but want more of that feeling when it hits his veins and spreads, when he can’t stop trembling and being utterly on edge, just kissing his pretty intern.
“You shouldn’t deal with me,” his words make you pull back, blinking just a bit. “You deserve better.”
“What is this nonsense? You’re feeling sorry for yourself.”
“Feel sorry for you.”
“I’m gonna go home,” you pull back and tears almost fall when he catches your wrist. “I should say good night.”
“You should not say good night,” he lifts you right on his desk, hands pressed on either side of you, nose brushing against yours, breath ghosting your lips.
“I feel you’re pushing me away every time I get close…” Your hands slip nervously up his chest, feeling him hard against you. “We haven’t um… you haven’t touched me in…”
“I am scared to hurt you, fuck I’m scared,” his hands slide up your thighs and he watches you tremble and arch for his touch, his long lashes casting shadows across those perfect cheeks. “You think I don’t want you?”
“It’s been so hot and cold since the beginning,” he sighs, tugging you by your hips to the edge of the desk. “But I knew you wanted me, always.”
“Now you doubt it?”
“I just don’t know how to be everything you need, and I really want to be,” your tears break his heart, his now steady fingers swipe them away. “I don’t want to be selfish and ask for you to…”
“Make you cum?”
“Don’t talk like that right now,” you sigh again and he chuckles, kissing your cheek, moaning softly. “I am fine. I’m not needy.”
“You’re needy and I love that, I have been neglecting you,” you shake your head once more. “No?”
“No, Satoru, not at all…” You arch a bit and then pause, cursing and looking down. “Fuck.”
“What are you cummin’ from thinkin’ about it?” He’s grinning like the Hojo you love and miss, but you stand quickly sighing. “What’s wrong, I’ll make you cum baby, I want to…”
“Damn it I’ll be back, I have to go to the locker room.” Satoru frowns and watches you rush out, wincing and adjusting his cock in his scrubs.
How could you think you’re doing anything other than a perfect job with taking care of him? How can you not know how much it all means?
Was he a shitty doctor and a shitty boyfriend?
He knows you’d slap him for thinking that, but it’s heavy on his mind when he follows you out just a bit behind, in the locker room and seeing you rush off to the bathroom with your purse.
Oh.
“You don’t have to be shy about that,” Satoru says when you’re walking back in, pausing when he catches your face. “Hey, is it super heavy? That can happen after a surgery like that.”
“Yeah, it is, and out of nowhere,” he frowns and walks up to you, warm hand on your stomach. “Stop, I'm already horny and hurting somehow.”
“You missed a couple too, remember?” He trails off – of course you fucking remember, but you just nod. “Probably thrown off cycle.”
“Maybe um… I definitely should-”
“Let me grab some things for you and bring ‘em over?”
“No, no, you have enough going on.”
“Hey,” he cups your face, bringing your gaze to him. “I am still your boyfriend, and I want to be there for you too, just because I’m a cranky fuck right now doesn’t mean I don’t want to try.”
“All right Toru,” you lean up again, kissing him, sighing when he tugs you close. “Don’t make me so horny right now, please.”
“That will help your cramps too,” he smirks at your embarrassed burying of your face against his chest. “I’ll be at your place in thirty, let me buy my girl something for once, even if it’s little.”
“Okay,” you let him walk you out to that shitty old suv – god he can’t wait to get you a new one, he hates hearing that loud ass thing roar and click. “See you there.”
*****
“Maki,” you tug her in once you’re home, pulling her to the side as Yuuta and Toge are sipping energy drinks and gaming tonight. It was one of your only days off tomorrow so you can’t blame them.
“What is it, babe?” She tilts her head and catches your blush. “Spill it.”
“Have you done it… on your…”
“On my what?” You tug her further into the kitchen, grabbing you each a drink now and handing one to her, she takes a sip of the white claw you crack open, staring down at you. “Girl, what?”
“Period,” you’re whispering and she laughs.
“Do I fuck on my period?”
“Maki, shh!?!?” You’re practically shoving your palm on her mouth, she’s laughing harder, shaking her head and easing your hand off, sipping her can.
“Are you and Dr. Hojo fucking again?”
“We did once last week but um… he’s just going through it,” you murmur, not trying to reveal his troubles even if you did sometimes wish you had someone to talk to you couldn’t risk anyone knowing other than Suguru. “You know his stress levels.”
“He’s probably scared to hurt you after,” she says softly now, sighing. “Are you feeling up to it?”
“Very much so and then this,” you’re glaring down at your lap and she laughs again. “It’s inconvenient as fuck.”
“Yes I have, it feels good,” you’re blushing so much you have to down that white claw more. “You’re adorable.”
“You know my exes would never have done that so…” You shake your head a bit and sigh. “I’m glad not, but I guess I’m nervous because he said he would.”
“Then just let him, it’ll help the cramps.”
“Perverts, both of you.”
“Says the horny bitch here drinking white claw to calm down,” you shove her playfully, laughing now. “Go get in something slutty.”
“With a period!?”
“Why not? You want dick anyway,” you sigh, sometimes Maki is a little too real of a best friend. “Is he coming over?”
“Yeah soon, all right. Slutty.”
“Mhm and make sure to use a towel.” You don’t think your face could be more on fire.
Satoru comes about twenty minutes later, Yuuta and Toge don’t seem to hate him quite as much now that he’s saved your life, but you can’t say Toge doesn’t still just stare at him with those big violet eyes that are damn near eerie. Oblivious to it, Satoru pats their heads and then comes to Maki, she smacks his hand before he can do the same to her.
“I just dyed my roots, nuh uh,” he smirks and then looks at you when you walk down the stairs, lips parted. You’re just wearing that pretty, silky little robe his mom had brought you when you visited, tied at the waist with a little lacy slip underneath. “Oh, very slutty, nice.”
“Maki!?”
“It’s slutty,” she frowns and then snorts, looking at Satoru’s face as he stares at you. “You gonna show her the chocolates and wine?”
“Y-yes, yes I am,” Toge rushes off and Yuuta sighs, scowling at you and Maki now as he follows him, Maki takes the box and snatches a chocolate before she rushes off with them, leaving the two of you alone in the kitchen.
“Hey,” you manage, his eyes are dark as they slip across your body, the thin silk hiding nothing. He’s leaking so much he almost whimpers standing there before realizing he’s holding all this shit. “Is that all for me?”
“Fuck… yeah,” he clears his throat, you’ve got him simping like some teenager at thirty four, but then you always are doing that to him. “I got you the good painkillers.”
“Toru!”
“You just had surgery, you should still be taking them anyway, but just a low dose and they’re not very strong okay?” You giggle and peek at the bottle. “Like the lowest milligram. But don’t take them and drink this wine together.”
“Responsible doctor,” he snorts and rolls his eyes as you giggle, setting the wine down with the pretty chocolate box Maki had tugged open already. He’s got a bag too he sets down. “You did not have to get me this for just a period, Satoru.”
“I don’t do anything for you really,” you frown and walk over to him now, a hand brushing over the back of his, thumb touching that vein that runs across it.
“You do plenty.”
“I’m rich, should be fucking spoiling you and-”
“You know I’m not rich but I’m not broke okay?”
“Have you seen your dinosaur of an SUV?”
“Rude!” He snorts as you ease his worries. “I don’t need money or gifts though I won’t turn down yummy chocolates and a low dose perc.”
He chuckles and opens the box, popping one of the little milky cubes right in your mouth, you lap at his thumb teasingly, earning a kiss after you chew – his lips soft with that cherry chapstick. You can taste along with the sweetness spilling over your tongue, drinking him in – his moans as he tugs you closer, hands slipping over that silky robe and branding their heat against your skin.
“Fuck, baby…” He hardly holds back, slipping another chocolate in your mouth, eyes glancing right to your lips when you take it. “You’re becoming my favorite brand of xanax, you know that?”
“Hmm, will I be?” You tease him back, letting him kiss you again, pressing your back against the counter, overtaking you completely. “I want to be your xanax, doctor gojo.”
“Do you, sweetheart?” Your hands rush over his chest, nodding and tip toeing, pressing your tits against him, all sensitive and full, his hand brushes against one, making your nipple perk up.
“I’m nervous I haven’t…”
“I’ll take good care of you,” he whispers in your ear, kissing down your neck. “If you want, I promise I won’t hurt you.”
“Satoru I know you wouldn’t, you think I’m so fragile now,” he brushes your hair back and studies you carefully.
“You’re fragile to me, yes. Delicate.”
“I’m pretty tough thank you,” he smiles, but it doesn’t hit his eyes all the way, until you step closer. “What’s in this bag?”
“Ah I didn’t know if you needed any pads or anything?” You blush at that, he just shrugs a bit. “Or tampons I don’t know. I just grabbed some of each.”
“You’re so thoughtful, and don’t deny it,” he sighs and leans low once more, letting you tug him down for a kiss. “Want to come to my room?”
“Do I want to…” He chuckles at your question, carrying you up those stairs quickly, lost with how good you fucking feel, your thighs pressed on either side of his slutty waist, his huge hands gripping your ass. “Mnh, need a towel.”
“Oh!” he eases you down and you bite your lip. “I’ll grab one and um… get ready and…”
“Hey, relax please,” he whispers, your breasts almost out of the robe fucking with his senses when he tugs at the silky tie, letting it part to show that slip of material covering them. “I swear it doesn’t bother me – you know how often we see blood as doctors?”
“It’s still different…” You sigh and then kiss his chin. “I’ll be right back.”
His shirt is off when you come back in your room, those muscles flexing, making you remember last week when you all came back together after so long of feeling apart. Your robe is hanging off your shoulders, leaving them bare when he picks you up and lays you on the bed, towel to the side for now as he slips the silk up your thighs, baring your pretty cunt to him.
“Toru aren’t you gonna um… put it in?”
“You think I’d not give you foreplay?” You cover your face and earn his soft laugh, breath brushing against your cunt. “Do you want me to lick you?”
“On my period… you’re insane, I swear…” you brush his silky hair back, earning his devious grin, one you’ve missed so badly.
“It really won’t bother me, but only if you want me to.”
“I do want it but… I’m just so nervous,” he sighs and you spread your thighs, his fingers pressing into the plush of them, your hands tightening in his locks now and tugging from just that tickle of breath. “Mnh!”
"Relax for me, sweetheart," he murmurs against your skin, kissing over your hood, you suck in a breath, heart hammering in your chest. "Let me take good care of you, pretty intern."
And then his mouth is on you.
His hot mouth right against your hood, the hot, slick glide of his tongue running circles along your swollen clit, pressing right up against it and making your hips buck up towards his pretty face. You feel that blood trickle down mixed with slick, he parts your folds to watch it trickle out, groaning against you, the vibration sending heat straight to your core.
“You’re not fragile, hmm?” He whispers, you shake your head at him. “All right then, sweetheart.”
He's not hesitant or gentle, careful to not have blood all over his face – no Doctor Gojo just drags you against him by those thighs, burying his head between them, fucking overwhelming you. He's not treating you like you're a little delicate doll, no his mouth is fucking devouring you like he’s dying for it, for every drip of slick and blood that slips from you.
That long tongue slips up against your clit once more and gathers that drop of crimson that’s caught on it, swallowing it down as his tongue hits your folds. The metallic little hit of your period is there, but if anything that and how you spread your thighs make him fucking needier, cock so hard it hurts.
It’s not like Satoru hasn’t been dying to be inside you, he just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you, but fisting his cock is nothing like your soaking wet cunt that’s begging to be filled.
“Hmm, only I have done this, huh sweetheart?” He whispers, as that possessive feeling starts to overtake him, you nod weakly.
“H-haven’t done anything on it at all… before I… ngh!”
Satoru moans at your faint little words, rutting his needy cock in his hand as he unzips those jeans, dying to pump his cum inside and make your pussy pour a pretty pink shade, sick and feral, your blood just makes him harder. He laps at you faster, as you whine out, thighs trembling on either side.
“F-feels s’good,” your tummy is already clenching, just the pleasure alone of his mouth has the cramps easing, replaced by hot need, cunt quivering around nothing.
“Mmm, gonna cum f’me?”
Your answer is to nod in a jerky little motion, hips arching once more as your eyes roll back in your skull. "Fuck, Toru, r-right there... don't stop..."
Satoru sucks your cute lil clit into his mouth and flicks it with his tongue, a hand sliding up your body, cupping a breast and feeling its swollen weight in his hand, his thumb circling your nipple until the peak is taut and pressed up. He can’t stop thinking of filthy things, more filthy than licking blood off your cunt.
How would your tits look dripping milk?
They’re so swollen from your period he can’t stop fucking picturing it, pausing for a moment to lean up. “Pull it up, hmm pretty?”
You eagerly slip it over your head, he sighs when he sees them now, feeling their difference in his palm, making you whine out. “S-sensitive…”
“Yeah, are they?” You nod and he wraps his crimson soaked lips around one peak, sucking hard, you’re arching even more, nails pressing into his biceps as the prick of pain and sensitivity mixes. “S’pretty like this, fuck…”
That vision hits again and it’s nonsense, he didn’t want kids and that was just you, right? He couldn’t have kids because he could barely keep himself together on insanely high doses of speed and xanax, but it’s still there. Your tummy is slightly rounded from your period too, just making it worse as he runs his hand over it and presses down.
“Fuck…” You blink curiously, looking up at him, your blood has left a little mark on your nipple. “I think I have a…”
“What, a period kink?” You tease with a shaky voice, swiping at his lips with your thumb, he sighs and shakes his head, leaning lower over you.
You don’t have to want a baby to have one, he knows that logically, people just had those kinks – he’s seen more than enough porn and been with plenty of women. Some of them had that but he never entertained that, so against children that even that wasn’t hot to him.
He loves to cum inside you – but since when was it filling his thoughts like that?
Since after he almost had one?
“I was thinking how pretty they’d look full,” he whispers finallu, watching your gaze get lidded, your lips parted while he moulds your pretty tit right to his palm. “So fuckin’ pretty like that.”
“Full of…” you blush when he’s back down, sucking your clit and humming while you toy with your own tits, pushing you right over the edge. “Toru!”
Satoru moans as your release drips down, catching that towel and slipping it under your hips, flicking once more until you're tugging him up, desperate for him inside you. “Milk, mmkay?”
“You want my tits full?” You mumble, while he kisses his way back up your body, his face glistening with the hints of your blood, making you flush at the sight.
“Yeah?” You giggle curiously, shaking your head now. “It’s new for me too, mmm it’s just… picturing them…”
“Not notorious ‘no baby ever’ doctor hojo having a breed kink.”
“It’s new, okay?” you giggle again, but it ends when Satoru has his pants down quickly and lines himself up, his cock thick and heavy against your entrance, that tip swirling through your blood. “Oh fuck… baby…”
“Ngh! W-want it,” you whisper desperately now, wrapping your legs around his waist again to pull him closer. "Please, Satoru. Inside me."
“Want me to fill you up so fuckin’ full?” He whispers, your answer is to arch your hips, and Satoru slides inside, the stretch so fucking good. You’re extra wet like this, so ready that he slides in deep, filling you completely in one stroke.
“Oh my…mnh!” The feeling of Satoru inside you is different, more intense, the extra slickness making every movement feel that much deeper, without the usual fingering too you’re gripping him. “Ah!”
Satoru lets you adjust, his forehead resting against yours, pressing a kiss on your brow, then your nose, jerking his hips to slam harder, making you quiver around him. "You feel so fucking good," he groans out softly, his breaths shaky. "So tight and wet... Jesus, baby."
Satoru loses it inside you, thrusting that now crimson soaked cock inside your needy cunt and feeling how wet it is, the blood dripping down his cock and your cunt onto that towel, making a mess as he fills you so full. The sounds in your room are filthy as he takes you over, pumping inside you faster, blood soaked walls greedily sucking him in.
“I fucking love you,” he loses himself every time he’s on top of you, inside of you, watching your eyes roll back in your skull then flutter open, trying to focus so hard they go cross. “Love you s’much, love that needy hole, this perfect mouth.”
“L-love you… inside me I…” he’s slamming faster now, harder, gripping your hips and fucking into your cunt so deep he’s pummeling that puffy cervix, every movement making your cramps dissipate. “S’good it’s… s’good r-right there…”
“Am I helping, baby?” He whispers softly, you nod and drag him down for another kiss, so sensitive from that orgasm you’re close, especially with that blood making him even slicker. “How’s those cramps now?”
Your answer is your eyes rolling back, letting him slam until he’s fully inside, the extra wetness allowing him to hit faster and deeper than usual, and your body finally eases up, your tummy that was in knots relaxing just to build that pleasure right back up. Satoru’s cupping your face and looking at you with black eyes, those ones that fucked you up in the locker room weeks ago.
You drag him down for another kiss, fingers entangling in his fluffy locks, slipping across his undercut to grip at the nape of his neck.
“Better,” you finally answer, sucking in a breath when Satoru curves his hips to hit your spot just so, feeling you clamp down on him. “M’gonna cum, don’t stop!”
“Like I’d stop,” he teases, watching your pretty face as he loses it, slamming into you harder, feeling what your body can take. “Lemme feel it, please, see your pretty face fall apart.”
Satoru watches you do just that, falling right after you and pumping his cock deep, spurts of that white mixing with your mess, kissing your lips as the two of you moan into each other’s mouths. You’re gasping for a breath when he slows, cock still semi hard and inside you, his lips pressing messy kisses down your neck.
“You feel so good like this,” he murmurs, chuckling when your blush hits. “Still shy about it?”
“You licked it, you freaky doctor,” he snorts and kisses you again.
“And you licked it off me. You’re freaky.”
“Oh god,” Satoru keeps kissing you, buried deep inside as his cum starts to drip down his cock and out of your slick hole. “Mnh…”
It’s embarrassing to even have Satoru wipe you off with that towel, eyeing the mess of you two as if it’s yummy, even going so far as to slip his fingers inside, having you clamp down around them. He gets one more orgasm as if to make sure you’re too fucked out to walk, before carrying you to your bathroom.
“Hey,” Satoru tilts your chin up and you turn to him after he cleans you all up in the bathroom, laying down next to you and holding you close.
“Yes, Toru?” you’re all cute and fucked out, he chuckles just a bit at the sight of you, flushed and well pleasured.
“Thank you for being here for me,” you pause, lips trembling now, snuggling close to him, fingers drifting across his sharp cheek. “I don’t know why you want such a hot fucking mess, but…”
“Why wouldn’t I want my Doctor Gojo, hmm?” He smiles all freaking cute, practically making you melt, that one that makes him look even younger than he already does. For a moment carefree. “You took care of me.”
“I tried to.”
“You did, and so I take care of you, sickness and health all that,” he pauses and exhales, nose brushing yours before he eases back, studying you. “Sorry that sounded so official.”
“Yeah it did, I didn’t mind,” you bury your face in the crook of his neck. “Turn around, I’ll rub your tummy for you.”
“I love you,” he laughs now. “I especially do for that.”
“Get some sleep.”
****
Satoru wakes you up slamming something in his bathroom the next week, he tapered again and is almost half of what he did take, and he was clearly on edge. Two weeks into trying to get to a normal human dosage, you wonder if he’s trying to go too hard with it, panicking when you rush in to see the little pretty glass soap dish shattered on the floor.
He looks at you, paler than usual with dark circles that are worsening day by day, hands shaking and his hair all discheveled. “Please go.”
“I won’t,” he sighs and rolls his eyes – when Satoru’s heading into his withdrawals he can be mean, but you know it’s not him. His body feels like it’s not his, and he can’t control every emotion correctly.
“Please go sweetheart,” he cups your face, you shake your head and hug him instead. “You don’t listen for shit.”
“You aren’t alone,” he sighs at that, tugging you close. “I’ll clean up, go lay down and I’ll get you a xan. You didn’t take the one at bed time.”
“Don’t clean up –”
“Go to bed, I’ll be there,” he glares but you shove him now, lanky ass doctor barely moving. “Go to bed.”
“Fine mommy,” you roll your eyes and snort at his nonsense, even feeling like shit Satoru was always on something. You quickly clean up the glass, grabbing his medication where you’ve hidden it – at his request – and a glass of water, walking back in the room and seeing he’s shoved his covers down.
“Mommy, really?” You raise a brow, Satoru just runs a hand through his hair, tapping his lap, you walk over and straddle it, letting him tug your body against him.
“Should call me daddy, hmm?”
“You wish,” you feel him shaky underneath you, quickly setting down the glass and trying to put it between his lips. “Toru…”
“Open,” you flush, sometimes Satoru enjoys kissing you with the xanax on your tongue, and you know it’s fucking toxic, but you can’t help but get soaking wet from it every time, especially when he’s needy.
“You’re a toxic man.”
“You love me… so,” you open and he presses that pill against your tongue, before leaning up and slipping his inside your mouth, letting it slip underneath and down his throat, that familiar taste mingling with you. “Fuck…”
“Better?” You tease, pulling back, lips glossy from his kisses.
“Much,” he whispers, nose brushing against yours, pressing deeper kisses, hands pressing you down by your hips, feeling it dissolve and ease that chilly feeling of his skin. “Know what would make me feel even better?”
“You’re a slutty hojo,” he snorts but you see it’s already entering his bloodstream, the way his color returns and his hands ease after a few minutes of kissing you, leaving your lips to trail them down your throat, your chest, moaning as he feels your heat throbbing against his cock. “Toru…”
“God, look at you,” he’s dragging you down further, your slick heat drooling down his soft pajama pants, soaking them and making them dark, mixing with the bubbly spurts of pre that are leaking through the cotton. “Fuck, fuck…”
He’s sensitive – stupidly so – without the typical doses, every time you’re near his damn cock he’s close to leaking and throbbing hard, even now with the pill dissolved and starting to make his body relax, your pussy is driving him insane. You’re rocking your hips and kissing him desperately, head falling back when he slides a hand underneath your top, gripping a tit and squishing it.
“Ah!” You’re rocking even faster when he sucks on your nipple, he can tell you’re ovulating soon with how full your tits are, how needy you get, fuck you even smell sweeter if that was possible.
Why would Satoru be happy you’re ovulating is the damn question?
He’s been trying to figure out where this new found breed kink was coming from, but at the moment he tries not to question it and just fucking enjoy you. “Don’t deserve you, god…”
“Sh-shut it,” you glare even as you rock your hips, heat seeping through, kissing him messy and needy, saliva dripping between your lips, the room melting until it’s just him, all him, always him.
Satoru is your drug of choice.
“Baby I’m gonna… you gotta… oh fuck,” you hit your peak after his clothed, sticky tip bumps your clit, but Satoru can’t even tug your panties to the side before he’s busting right through his pants, your cunt gathering all that sticky mess when he desperately ruts it against you, over and over. “M-made me… in my pants you damn brat…”
You’re giggling and he’s glaring now, back to his usual self, when you pull back and look at the mess he’s made, white drops still spurting from them. “Aww, I’ll clean you up.”
“Evil,” he grumbles, even as you look so damn sweet with your tongue lapping at the material soaked with both of you, wrapping your lips around his tip and sucking it clean right over the pants. “Fuck… shit, baby…”
You’re too good at sucking him, so much so Satoru makes sure to let you clean every inch, to lap up all those white ropes from his veiny length, until you’re swallowing around him, and he feels the high that is you. Bucking his hips up as you give him all of your pretty throat and your cute whines, letting him tug your hair and guide you right where he wants.
The past two weeks were hell in the way that his body and brain are muddled and jumbled, but you were everything he was doing it for, especially when you look up at him with fucked up eyes, lapping his tip with that tongue coated in white. When you press a messy kiss on the underside, and his mind, body and soul is lost in every movement you make.
That’s when he knows he has to keep it up, because in no universe will Satoru ever let his pretty intern go.
i said that this would end soon but I don't think so lol we got a couple more to go <3 but ty for everyone who loves my unpopular doctor aha, I luv you all sm - also my girl @lostfracturess and her gojo always inspires my rare updates for this one, hehe <3
Summary: You're getting ready to go out with your friends. Unfortunately, Yuuta can't help but keep on licking your gloss off of your lips.
Tags: Both are in their early twenties. Established relationship. Reader wears lip liner and gloss. Reader is called 'girl' once. Clingy! and pretty whipped Yuuta. Referenced sex (rip to the vanity chair)
wc: 1,1k
an: guess who didn't like that I didn't write for him first 🤌🏼 LOL enjoy this blurb I pulled it out of my ass w much love
"Do you really have to go?"
Yuuta's breathless whisper tickles the shell of your ear. He's hunched over your frame with his arms around your shoulders. You're sitting still in front of your vanity table and your expression is focused while you finish lining your lips once again.
It is the third time you're re-doing your lip combo actually. You would go through this first step successfully, and everything would go downhill the second you got done applying your gloss. It was then that Yuuta would catch you off guard by cradling your jaw one-handed to turn your head towards him.
As you briefly stare at him in the mirror, and he notices as much, you witness it. Not only do his navy blue eyes shine brighter, but there's specks of glitter on the corners of his mouth. The only evidence of his two crimes so far.
"Yuu. Of course." Your eyes narrow and you sound like your patience is starting to run short.
As embarrassing as it is, working you up like this and still being called so sweetly by you... it makes Yuuta's body hair stand upright on the spot.
Although that's his most common bodily reaction to you. It's with the next mesmerizing view he's granted, that his pupils dilate wider. You're leaning over to check your makeup out in the mirror, as best as you could with Yuuta's arms on your shoulders. You'd been quicker this once, coating your lips with a nice gloss layer.
He does not let you get away from his grasp while you finish touching up in front of your vanity table. However, he does stop breathing, awestruck by you—the remaining air in his lungs should be enough to survive up until he swallowed your own warm gasps against his mouth.
The chair you've been sitting on is your swivel desk one—the vanity one got broken during last night's activities—which makes it easier for Yuuta to turn you towards him. When he suddenly does, you stare at him unimpressed with one hand covering your mouth. He juts his lower lip in response.
Still, it wouldn't hurt to try once more. To let himself be a little bit hungrier for you, barely concealing it under his sweet voice tone. "Can I get another kiss?"
"I've just reapplied my gloss. You're doing it on purpose." You reach your arm to cup his cheek, rubbing your thumb over the shiny left corner of his mouth—the glitter won't come off so easily. For a second, you feel his skin tensing under your unexpected touch before he melts into it. So much that he pokes his tongue out to lick at your fingertip.
The wet sensation almost makes you jolt in your seat. "Yuu-"
His hand flies to your wrist. His hold on it is steady—as well as his piercing, half-lidded gaze, slotting so perfectly on your eyes. You wouldn't be able to break free from neither even if you wanted to.
"Would it be so bad if I did?" He leans lower, and a reddish blush creeps up his cheeks as he takes in a close-up look of your face. "God, you're so pretty... so beautiful."
"I'm not going to be away for that long, y'know."
The reddened tips of your ears are endearing to him in a way that he feels his heart growing more room to store all of his love for you.
"Stay a bit longer with me?" And then he tries to breach the distance between your lips. Of course, he fails, eyes widening as he stops upon feeling your index finger pressed against his mouth.
To him, it is a tragedy that you aren't letting him eat you up—you and your half-hearted frown directed to his puppy eyes. He can tell you're struggling to hold it and it's destroying him on the inside.
"You should use your cursed speech, maybe that'd work."
"Please," the quip surprises him and his gleeful chuckle fans your face. He misses it, but the melody of it softens your gaze for a moment. "That's unnecessary now-"
It's not like it'd never occurred to him. You both know as much—you don't even mean for it to come off as flirting when you playfully add, "it sure was necessary last night."
He pretends to be taken aback, blinking silently at you before his expression breaks into a relieved grin. Hearing you attempting to make him nervous twice was all he needed to know you'd warmed up enough for him to successfully crawl his way back into your heart.
His arms rub up and down your shoulders before he envelopes your frame. He's certain you can hear his heartbeat picking up significantly the moment he brings his face against your hair, taking a deep breath of your shampoo's perfume. "I love you," he mumbles, moving his lips to your temple to leave a soft, lasting kiss. "Can you come home early angel?"
You gulp down. This is a different proposal as he isn't requesting you to stay home altogether. It's fair enough, strangely so, coming from Yuuta.
"I can try..."
He lovingly nuzzles your cheek. "That's my girl. I'm so happy."
You allow yourself to relax in his hold. You still had about half an hour left before your friend would drive to your shared apartment with Yuuta to pick you up.
He leaves a trail of kisses across your forehead and temple as you softly run your nails through his scalp. The feeling alone is enough for Yuuta's grasp on your sides to wander lower. You don't seem to notice right away, pondering aloud to yourself, "I have to go through some tasks tomorrow morning. So it's not like I was going to spend the night at-"
Yuuta's takes advantage of your distracted state to easily hoist you up by your legs. Your arms wrap tighter around his broad shoulders out of instinct. Similarly, the muscles on your thighs harden against the dip of his waist.
Not a word slips pasts your lips before Yuuta has his own latched onto yours. Your gloss and liner smears all over both of your mouths. He devours it all, you included; licking your lips clean, product coating his tongue. He feels a shiver running down his spine as he feasts on you, tasting and swallowing your gloss' candy-like flavor.
"I want to taste you in my mouth while you're gone," he can barely get the sentence past his trembling lips, heart hammering in his chest and the most smitten heart shaped eyes taking in your lovestruck expression.
You pull him back in by the nape, tugging at the roots of his dark hair. He obeys your silent order, as enamoured as a man can be.
That's how you end up arriving around fifteen minutes late to your hangout.
in honor of their five-year anniversary, your favorite musical artist hoesoflamentation is putting out a compilation album, remixing her hit songs into sick new beats - with new fandoms & new tropes - and even writing sequels to some of your faves. to extend the celebration, hales will be releasing one single per month all year long. check out the details and preorder below !!
╰☆☆ J A N U A R Y ☆☆╮ license to kill (feat. sylus qin)
a remix of dead or alive
// synopsis: you and sylus are locked in a deadly pursuit. as your 'singer,' his blood smells like the sweetest nectar... but when that honey comes from a prolific vampire hunter, coming too close could mean literally dying for a taste. which of you will come out the predator, and which will become the prey?
// kinks & content warnings: vampire!reader x vampire hunter!sylus, gn!reader, knife play, blood, biting, oral sex, & more.
╰☆☆ F E B R U A R Y ☆☆╮ rules of engagement (feat. mammon)
a remix of you deserve better.
// synopsis: ever since childhood, you knew that you were fated to wed the emperor lucifer in an arranged marriage. the emperor assigns the grand knight mammon to be your personal bodyguard. you've heard rumors of mammon's untoward behavior... so who better to ask your burning questions about what happens on your wedding night?
// kinks & content warnings: knight!mammon x princess!reader, f!reader, royalty au, forbidden romance, mutual masturbation, fingering, oral sex, & more.
╰☆☆ M A R C H ☆☆╮ bases loaded (feat. gojo, sukuna, megumi, & yuji)
a remix of open your mouth.
// synopsis: as the social media intern for the tokyo sorcerers baseball team, it's your job to get post-game interviews with the players... but when you enter the locker room, you find yourself leaving with a different kind of footage entirely. you're pretty sure this wasn't what your boss had in mind!
// kinks & content warnings: pro baseball au, f!reader, gangbang, power imbalance, bukkake, double-penetration, & more.
╰☆☆ A P R I L ☆☆╮ mona lisa (feat. sylus qin & rafayel qi)
a remix of like you did for him.
// synopsis: life as an art thief is complicated - but at least it's never boring. in order to pull off your greatest heist yet, you'll need to pay a visit to some old flames - who also happen to be each other's greatest rivals. together, the three of you create a work of art that's prettier than any painting.
// kinks & content warnings: criminal au, art thief!reader, afab!reader, jealous & possessive sex, threesome, squirting, & more.
╰☆☆ M A Y ☆☆╮ red lights (feat. mammon)
a remix of getting caught with you.
// synopsis: ever since you were young, it has been your life's ambition to become a majolish trainee. now that you've finally made it, you won't let anything stand in your way. mammon, majolish's number one idol, feels the same way about getting what he wants... too bad that what he wants most could be dangerous for your dreams.
// kinks & content warnings: idol!mammon x trainee!reader, f!reader, car sex, fingering, p-in-v, getting caught by paparazzi, & more.
╰☆☆ J U N E ☆☆╮ siren's song (feat. admiral!levi)
a remix of reaping the consequences
// synopsis: defeated and shipwrecked on a forgotten isle, grand admiral leviathan hears of hell's navy hears the bewitching call of a siren. determined not to fall into your trap, he summons the great serpent lotan to subdue you... but it turns out that your magic is strong enough to overcome them both with desire.
// kinks & content warnings: siren!reader x admiral!leviathan x lotan, f!reader, monster fucking, tentacle fucking, dubcon, & more.
╰☆☆ J U L Y ☆☆╮ babysitter's club (feat. nanami kento)
a continuation of riding the heat wave
// synopsis: thanks to your work with the fushiguro family, you've developed the reputation as quite the babysitter. at toji's recommendation, widower nanami kento reluctantly hires you to watch his son while he works overtime. one look at you has this pent-up workaholic thinking that maybe a babysitter was exactly what he needed...
// kinks & content warnings: dilf!nanami x babysitter!reader, f!reader, age gap, power dynamic, daddy kink, spanking, & more.
╰☆☆ A U G U S T ☆☆╮ hot and bothered (feat. alpha stepbro!caleb)
a remix of oh, baby
// synopsis: you can't choose your alpha... just like you can't choose who your parents remarry. that's why heat suppressants were invented, right? but your stepbrother caleb can't help but be a little jealous when he smells the scent of other guys on you at the end of the night. so, he comes up with a foolproof (not babyproof!) strategy to make sure he's the only man on your mind.
// kinks & content warnings: alpha!caleb x omega!reader, f!reader, stepcest, omegaverse, noncon, baby trapping, breeding kink, & more.
╰☆☆ S E P T E M B E R ☆☆╮ party for you (feat. ex-bf!mammon)
a remix of say my name and everything just stops
// synopsis: even though your sister is getting married, you can't help being a pessimist who doesn't believe in love. the way you see it, weddings were invented for open bars and hooking up with groomsmen. as the maid of honor, it's only tradition that you spend the night flirting with the best man. there's just one, small problem... the best man is your ex-boyfriend, and he's a total ass!
// kinks & content warnings: ex-bf!mammon, gn!reader, exes to lovers, bathroom sex, getting caught, lite angst, & more.
╰☆☆ O C T O B E R ☆☆╮ capture the passion (feat. pornstar!rafayel)
a continuation of lights, camera, action
// synopsis: your video with famous pornstar mammon takes off, making 'lucy lips' the hub's new darling. now, you've got the biggest names in the business lining up around the block to make you squirt - on and off camera. at an industry party, you even find yourself face-to-face with the one and only rafayel, offering a business opportunity you can't refuse.
// kinks & content warnings: pornstar!rafayel x pornstar!reader, f!reader, sex work, bratty reader, exhibitionism, squirting, & more.
╰☆☆ N O V E M B E R ☆☆╮ lovesick (feat. roommate!mammon)
a remix of my love is mine, all mine
// synopsis: if your roommate can’t have that sweet pussy, then no one can. as far as mammon is concerned, no measure is too drastic when it comes to keeping other men's grubby little hands off his precious treasure. he tells himself that he's only protecting you from all the creeps and pervs out there...but maybe he's the one you needed protection from all along.
╰☆☆ D E C E M B E R ☆☆╮ heated rivalry (feat. colonel!caleb and admiral!levi)
a remix of that's an order
// synopsis: grand admiral leviathan of hell's navy and colonel caleb xia of the farspace fleet have been locked in constant competition since their days at the military academy. now, you're the unlucky bastard (and former classmate) who's been brought in to lead the negotiations between two of the world's most powerful men. and they both know exactly what they want.
// kinks & content warnings: colonel!caleb x diplomat!reader x admiral!levi, uniform kink, afab!reader, threesome, power imbalance, jealous & possessive sex, face-fucking, double penetration, & more.
happy five years, hoes! if you’d like to join the taglist, please leave me a comment or an ask & let me know which fandom(s) you'd like to be tagged in <3 (I MUST BE ABLE TO VERIFY YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO)
hey hoes! long time no see! due to unforeseen circumstances (depression, chronic illness, the crippling weight of one manageable task) i am behind on this event.
i still plan to work through all of these posts as well as the final installment of my levi series, just at a slower pace than i previously hoped. thank you for understanding!
i leave you with this bsky screenshot that sums up my feelings perfectly haha-
