Hayden R.

Silly autistic music man (he/him)

[hofeprime]

I had absinthe ONCE and now I’m wanting to learn every language.

[hofeprime]

Idk I feel like I could write a banger murder mystery

[hofeprime]

The economy will trickle down when the bureaucrats piss on my grave

[beaft]

google help me

[beaft]

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

[beaft]

random example of a kingism aka "he would not fucking say that"

[beaft]

this too is a kingism

[beaft]

one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:

[beaft]

i'm starting a collection

[hofeprime]

"Kingism" is now forever ingrained in my personal dictionary. It's kinda hilarious how a Stephen King novel can be so calculated only for the jaded detective to suddenly say "Do the guap guap on my glizzy sexual style. Make me feel skibidi."

[owls-den]

I feel like you guys might appreciate this screencap I took out of my favorite (in an ironic fashion) musical: Cindy, Cendrillon 2002.

[hofeprime]

Indeed. Women.

[hofeprime]

So it turns out that Jack Daniels isn't actually a bourbon, nor does anything about its sale label it as such. We just decided to say that it is for no apparent reason other than "It isn't a rye whiskey".

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[hofeprime]

Just because I know she’ll like it @owls-den

[novlr]

“Writing- the profession in which you stare at a computer screen, stare out the window, type a few words, then curse repeatedly.” ― Drew Goodman

[hofeprime]

If that isn’t the statement ever

[hofeprime]

My productivity levels are some of the most inconsistent things on this plane of existence. Like, I finally got around to finishing a full-length play, but only after completing two more one-acts and starting two others. Oh, and I still have a musical to write, so I should get onto that. And there’s also this random novel that I’m in the second draft phase for and haven’t touched in at least a month.

I hate selective productivity fr

[calamitys-child]

Just rediscovered potentially the funniest thing I’ve written in recent memory

[calamitys-child]

Imagine if people wrote all their Les Mis modern aus in the style of Victor Hugo

[calamitys-child]

An excerpt

[owls-den]

I think you’d enjoy that @hofeprime

[hofeprime]

They nailed it. No question about it.

[hofeprime]

I used to be so big on killing characters off, but nowadays I don’t really find myself doing it as much. A lot of my stories that I write now tend to be perfectly fine without character death. Sure, there’ll be some mention of death (like this one idea of three men in a bunker mourning the death of their war buddy), but that doesn’t mean that a character will die throughout the course of the work.

[hofeprime]

Any mixologists wanna tell me the funniest story about how they came up with a cocktail?

[11111111111101111111111-deactiv]

This is from the episode "attack of the 50 foot sister" :

And this is the character's commentary from that episode :

I think Doofenshmirtz has hypersensitivity. ( And I headcanon that he uses some kind of inator on his ears to regulate sounds )

Also this is the character's commentary from the episode "Flop Starz" :

He also has light-sensitivity

[blueprxde]

very curious that no one has mentioned this, but the noise is the reason why he hates new years

So I guess yes, he's hypersensitive.

[neurodivergent-dwampyverse]

[11111111111101111111111-deactiv]

[hofeprime]

It never fails to impress me when a show makes a character a grumpy bastard but does it in a way that makes him seem less like a grumpy old man and more a neurodivergent who would really just be better off moving out of the city. 

[hofeprime]

Nah these kids on VRChat are annoying I’m gonna wait until their bedtime to get back on

[lyralit]

traits turned sour

honest - insensitive

persuasive - manipulative

caring - overprotective

confidence - arrogance

fearless - cocky

loyalty - an excuse

devotion - obsession

agreeable - lazy

perfectionism - insatisfaction

reserved - aloof

cautious - skeptical

self loved - selfish

available - distractible

emotional - dramatic

humble - attention-seeking

diligent - imposing

dutiful - submissive

assertive - bossy

strategic - calculated

truthful - cruel

[hofeprime]

The Writer’s Lament

I think the scariest thing as a writer who, although having a Tumblr account, does not frequent this site is the possibility of them being discovered by Tumblr. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but y’all terrify me. 

I live in fear of the day when you all read Kuni no Senso and start calling Kadaina your blorbo. I’m kept awake at night by the possibility of Kunshu being entered in a Tumblr sexyman contest. I have to call upon every divine being that humanity has ever contemplated the existence of to give me the strength when the day finally arrives that somebody calls Shirei the fandom bicycle.

Your ability to create new terms for things both impresses me and baffles me. How the hell am I supposed to keep up with all of this? You could call my character a scringledoppler or something and I’d have no choice but to accept it as a legitimate term. 

This is before we get into the tags. Somehow, some fucking way, every single post that ends up in my feed ends up being structured along the following scheme:

(post by X, reposted by Y)

(a metric fuckton of tags that nobody will likely ever use again in the place of a comment)

How far along the path of fandom-brain must I traverse before I can comprehend why this is done? What societal anguishes must I endure to think to do this sort of thing? How high on escapism must I be to fixate so much on fiction (sometimes not even that) to escape from my horrible reality? Is this just my neurodivergence clashing with everybody else’s? The world may never know. 

tl;dr Tumblr fandoms scare me a little bit

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

[hofeprime]

All the more reason to love Kurt Vonnegut.