hoffstrahm unending traps

he/him, 20

[hoffstrahm-traps-spinoff]

Non timeline compliant AU where mark just puts Peter through traps he's made like one of those hamster challenge YouTube channels. Look at him go!

[hoffstrahm-traps-spinoff]

Peter Strahm, in front of you are three hurdles and a ballpit and a small trampoline and some swings and a slide and a paddling pool and a bouncy ball and

[hoffstrahm-traps-spinoff]

Hoffman: Peter Strahm

Strahm: Mark I can't do this today, I have-

Hoffman: Shush this one's good

Strahm: *waits*

*doors open to reveal Hoffman sat in a chair holding an inflatable hammer*

Hoffman: tie my shoelaces or I will beat you to death

Strahm: why

Hoffman: I can't tie them, I'm holding a hammer

[hoffstrahm-traps-spinoff]

Strahm: I'll stay the night, but if I wake up in a trap, I'm not letting you hit again

Hoffman: ofc

Strahm, waking up in what is very obviously a trap: Mark, why do I smell burning

Hoffman's voice coming through Billy while he's sat up in a commentator booth: uhhhhhh breakfast

[hoffstrahm-traps-spinoff]

Strahm, banging on the glass: You motherfucker! I'm gonna fucking kill you!

Hoffman, on the other side of the glass with a commentator's mic: This is a really good angle for you

[hoffstrahm-traps-spinoff]

Strahm, waking up in a trap: Goddamn it John Kramer!

Hoffman, impersonating John over the sound system: Peter Strahm. I wanna- *cough* hold on *water bottle crinkling* I wanna play a game. Should you succeed this uhhhh... test, I'll let you go. All you have to do is answer this question, how big is it