And you know damn well for you I would ruin myself.
SUMMARY: You and Tom have a secret affair that he can no longer keep and all of the sudden you find out your pregnant. (Sorry don’t want to give much away, my bad.)
WARNINGS: Mentions of sex, breakup talk, cheating, mentions of abortion.
—So is this what I really meant to you Tom? I’m just what? You’re one night stand? — you asked at the verge of tears demanding for answers from Tom. You were hurt and you were more than hurt, you were shattered into million pieces.
—Y/n, please don’t do this, you knew that this was going to end at some point, you’re being unfair — the truth was that, even if you refused to believe, Tom was hurting as much as you were. For the last couple of months that you had seen each both of you had grown attached, he could even sweat that he loved you, more than what he have loved anyone else before, but he was right, you knew that the relationship the two of you have had to end, you knew that it would be complicated because of Toms wife, yet again you still decided to do it, to keep seeing Tom, you kept sleeping with him and that was on you, because he never lied about his marriage and his situation, you had accepted it despite everything.
—I-I ... — you sighed while looking for the words to express what you felt in that moment — I just never thought it would actually happen — it was true, you knew this all along but at some point you convinced yourself that this was not going to happen, you had convinced yourself that Tom would change his mind and leave everything behind just for you, but it was to much to ask of him, because you were not asking him to just leave his wife, you were asking him to leave behind his whole life in this small town and you couldn’t do it.
—Me neither sweetheart, I’m sorry — you saw how he started walking towards you and as soon as he was in front of he took you by the waist, his eyes a little bit darker than usual, and you felt how they connected with yours, that one look was enough to express everything that neither of you were saying, like how much you were going to miss each other and how much he loved you and you loved him. You felt how Tom pressed his lips against yours for the last time, you didn’t wanted this to happen, but there was nothing you could do about it, even Tom couldn’t do anything about it. He kissed you for a couple more times and as much as you wanted more than just a kiss you thanked him for not leading you into making love, you both knew that is was going to be harder to say goodbye and that was the last thing you wanted to happen.
For a couple of weeks you asked yourself how was Tom, If he was okay, if he was happy or if he missed you as much as you missed him. It felt like it was only yesterday that he had told you everything needed to end because his wife was suspicious of the affair. You hated to be “the other woman” but when you met Tom he was already married, even if it wasn’t for love, he was, there was no denying it. You understood that he had a career and image to protect, but you still waited for him to call you or text you asking to get back together. You were forced to come back to reality when you heard the doctors voice saying your name.
—Y/n you okay? — he asked, you could sense the concerned tone of voice he had.
—Yeah, I’m okay, you were saying? —
—That you’re about 9 weeks pregnant, there’s a couple more studies we need to do to make sure the baby’s okay, but as for know, everything looks fine — you had stopped listening again halfway through, pregnant? No, how could that be even possible? Both you and Tom were always careful with everything, plus you couldn’t have a baby, you were alone and what would you even say to your friends or family? What if Tom found out? Your head started spinning around and you felt like you were in the verge of passing out.
—B-but, how? I mean I just came because I’ve been feeling a little bit off but, pregnant? I’m sure there’s some kind of mistake, please make another test, whatever you need to double check — to say that you were scared, panicked and worried was the least.
—Listen y/n, I know it’s a scary thought to be a mom, but I’m a hundred percent sure you are, we did a blood test —
You sat on the couch staring at the information the doctor had given you. Your mind still blank. It’s not like you didn’t wanted to have a baby, you always liked the idea of being a mom, but having it alone? Not on your plans and at the same time there was the question if you should tell Tom about it, how would he take it? What would he say? You were scared to know the answer to all of those questions because it freaked you out just imagining him telling you to get rid of it and yet again that was the most probable scenario.
—I’m sure Z, that’s what I’m gonna do — she looked at you trying to guess what you were thinking, it was obvious that you were hurting, but she didn’t understand why if this was your decision, you guessed that as much as she tried, she would never be able to understand you, she would never be able to completely know why if you wanted to keep the baby you were still deciding to get an abortion.
—If that’s what you want y/n then I support you, you know I’ll always have your back — she hugged you for a couple of seconds and then let go. —I have to go, we have to shoot in an hour but if you need anything just call me, okay? Don’t even think about it — you thanked her one last time —And, do you want me to go to the clinic with you?—
—No, that’s okay, I have to do this on my own — you smiled very weakly and waved her goodbye at the door.
—You saw her, didn’t you? — Tom asked Zendaya while they were getting ready on set. She didn’t answered, she was worried that if she did she would say things she had promised you to keep as a secret. —Is she okay? —
—Tom if you’re so concerned ask her yourself, don’t put in the middle — Tom has noticed how she was in a bad mood, it was obvious that something was bothering her.
—You know I can’t, I’ve hurt her enough already — he felt so guilty, if he had only been strong enough maybe he would’ve never put you in this situation.
—Believe me, you’ve done more than enough — oh-oh maybe she was saying too much, but she was pissed off, she couldn’t stand seeing you feel so miserable, you couldn’t stand just thinking about the baby having to pay for Toms foolishness. It was very obvious to Tom that there was something important that Z was not telling he and he was not going to give up until he knew what everything was about.
—What is that supposed to mean? Is something wrong with her? Did something happen? Listen Z, we’ve been friends for a very long time if something’s going on with her and I can help please tell me, I’m begging you, you know that none of this is my fault, you’ve been in my position too — it was true, a couple years back she was also forced into a relationship just for publicity, just for her management to be happy and not threatening her with taking everything away, although she was never forced to marry someone, I guess she got lucky, but that was not the case with Tom, he was forced to do it, and bridging the contract was not an option because he was going to lose everything and he wouldn’t be able to support him and his family and he just couldn’t do that to them.
—She’s pregnant Tom, but she’s not keeping it — Zendaya finally said what Tom was so desperate to hear.
—What?— he was in complete sock —Is it mine?— Z looked at him furious, it’s not like he thought it wasn’t, he was just not sure what to say or think.
—You idiot, of course it’s yours —
—But what do you mean she’s not keeping it?—
—Tom, she just doesn’t want to go through this alone and she’s scared that someday someone might find out and complicate things for sure, I mean, I’m sure she wants it, but she’s just too scared about everything — Tom was broken, he always wanted to be a father, he thought he had the skills to do it, he had grown up with three brothers so it was only obvious that one day he would want to start his own big family, but not like this, not under this circumstances and even though he was scared and confused he was also filled with joy at the idea of finally becoming a dad, having a little person calling him dad, taking the baby out on strolls to the park, taking his kid or kids for an ice cream, playing football on Sundays, he wanted all of that and more importantly he wanted all of that with you.
Tom could feel the sweat coming down from his forehead as he ran across the street looking at his watch, how could he be late to something so important? One thing was clear, he hated L.A traffic. He finally got to the counter of the clinic, were a young girl was there, she wasn’t more than 25 or that’s what he thought.
—Hi, I’m sorry I’m looking for y/n, y/n y/l/n — he was barely able to speak, he was just so out of breath —Do you know if she already had her ... — Tom stopped for a second while trying to pass saliva, just the thought of you getting an abortion left him stone cold —hmm, procedure done? — the girl looked at Tom and he thanked god that she didn’t recognized her, the last thing he needed was a bigger scene. She looked through her records and then looked back at him.
—Hmmm her appointment was 4:30, so that means that she must be getting ready right now —
—Fuck ... no, no, no, listen, this is an emergency, do you think you can bring her out or let me in? I need to talk to her before she ... — he just couldn’t finish what he was saying, what was he supposed to say, before she aborts my baby? Absolutely the fuck no.
—I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do, once she’s inside we’re not allowed to interrupt — Tom was starting to panic even more, no, this couldn’t happen, he wanted you to have his baby, he wanted to be with you throughout the whole process, he wanted to get to know his baby, he wanted a life by your side and who knows? Even have more babies in the future. He felt how his tears started streaming down his face and then he heard your voice.
—I’m sorry, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, let me just get my phone and I’ll be back inside in a second —he turned around to look at you, you still completely unaware of his presence and he couldn’t believe it. Your stomach was still flat but he knew it wouldn’t take long until you started showing your baby bump. He saw you walked over to the couch where you had forgotten your purse and he thank god for it.
—Y/n!— he screamed and immediately ran to you. He took you into his arms and you blinked for a couple of times trying to understand what the hell was going on, was that actually Tom and not a product of your imagination? How did he even knew you were there? You were just standing there while he was hugging you as tight as he could without hurting you.
—H-ho-how? —you muttered, still thinking that none of this was real.
—Z told me everything — he whispered into your ear and then you knew he was actually there. Tears started streaming down you face uncontrollably, however not a single sound came out of your mouth. You felt that your legs were starting to give up. Suddenly the pressure and stress that you have been feeling for the last couple of weeks finally got the best of you. Tom hold you even tighter to support you, noticing how your whole body was giving in —It’s okay, everything’s gonna be okay y/n — he said very softly, there was something in the tone of his voice that she it was so comforting.
—I don’t want to do this Tom — you cried while finally wrapping up your arms around his back. You felt how he kissed the top of your head several times —I wanna keep my child, but you and your career, and your family and wife, and I can’t do this alone, I just can’t ... — you couldn’t even bring yourself to finish any sentence, you were just exhausted, physically and emotionally.
—I’m here now, I’m sorry for leaving, it was the biggest mistake ever y/n and I’m so very sorry you don’t even have an idea — he put some space between the two of you so he could look directly into your eyes —And if you let me, I promise I’ll never leave your side, I’ll take care of you and our baby — you felt how he put his hand on your stomach and you smiled, you’re baby was so little right now but it wouldn’t be long until you could start feeling him or her. Tom saw you smile and he did the same. You saw how he started bending a little bit to kiss you and you closed your eyes waiting for it, this is exactly what you wanted, what you have been wishing for the last couple of weeks. You felt Toms lips against yours, at first it was a sweet kiss but it began to feel a little bit more needy and wet as the seconds passed. Suddenly you remembered where you were and had to pull away.
—I have to let the nurse know that I’m not going through with this — you whispered still a little agitated because of the kiss.
—Go do it, I’ll be waiting here for you so I can take you home, you need to rest, and I have things that I need to figure out — you nodded and walked towards the girls in the counter to let her know your decision of not doing it. You were excited, this was the beginning of your new life with Tom and a brand new baby soon.
A/N: Hi, my name’s Jess and I love to write mostly with Tom Holland. I wrote this a long time ago but I needed to delete some things on my phone including a bunch of notes so I’m looking for a safe place to keep all the images that I have wrote so far and I thought of publishing them here, maybe they can give a little bit of joy to whoever might read it. Btw I think that I could write maybe a second part of this imagine, let me know what you think! ALSO! This has not been proofread so I’m sorry for any typos PLUS English is my second language so I’m sorry if I’m not grammatically correct 100%. Hope you all enjoy. 💕
