I'm a twenty-something trans girl who loves all media, and loves to talk critically about it. My avatar is Venus, from Leap Day. I have a patreon at patreon.com/hollyplays. If you'd like to donate, my paypal is eternallamppost@gmail,my Venmo is HollyDeer, my Ko-fi is hollyplays! Thank you so much for stopping by <3
Control was my birthday gift to myself. I had just returned from the hospital, and it was my birthday, and I needed something I could really dive into. Control had been pitched to me as âtruly Lynchianâ, so I coughed up my united states dollars at my local gamestop and brought it home.
I stepped as Jesse Faden through the front doors of The Federal Bureau of Control. On my way through the buildingâs foyer, I picked up a document intending to remind employees of items banned from the premises of the Bureau. On the list are all smart devices, number two pencils (??) and âany objects considered an iconic representation of an archetypal concept (i.e, rubber ducks, ketchup bottles)â.
âOh.â I said, out loud and to an empty room. âIâm gonna like this game.â
(Spoilers ahead.)
Control sounds like a familiar story: a secret government organization dedicated to studying the paranormal. Scratch a little further and you see more of the SCP Foundation than the X-Files- lots of talk of the containment of Altered Items and even Altered World Events.
Beyond that, Control is a video game unlike anything Iâve ever experienced. It manages to genuinely unsettle in the first act as the player gets used to seeing full-motion video right along side the gameâs semi-realistic art style, and it uses that experiment in format to great success throughout the game.
The sequences where Director Trench speaks to Jesse are sleek and interesting every time, which is surprising given the nature of these introductions. A live-action video semi-transparently imposed over your view without warning has the potential to be a really irritating mechanic, but the way theyâre framed isnât imposing and theyâre spaced so they never interrupt combat, so seeing them is only ever rewarding.
Bad acting would have absolutely killed this game, so itâs a great thing itâs full-motion actors do such a good fucking job. Dr. Darlingâs presentations are stop-the-game-and-watch moments every single time. I was happy to set down the controller and wait to learn more of Dr. Darlingâs theories or watch an episode of the delightfully surreal Threshold Kids.
All this to say nothing of the action, which is some of the best of itâs kind since inFamous 2. The Service Weapon (which is almost too clever a name) feels great. Modifying your different forms and mastering your abilities is immensely satisfying. A game where I can pull up a shield made of office supplies while I fly into the air and reload my gun before throwing the office supplies at the nearest enemy and slamming down into another is a game Iâm going to keep coming back to.
(Story spoilers coming soon. Youâve been warned.)
The Bureau is an excellent setting, as well. Control is semi-open world, in that it doesnât put a lot of walls in between you and itâs world, and the story and side missions will send you to all corners of the map often at the drop of a hat, almost forcing you to learn the Bureauâs layout and explore further. The game has a lot of wonderful little lore about how labyrinthine the Bureau is and it truly feels that way- I was shocked at the end of the game to discover Iâd only actually seen four of the Bureauâs sectors.
The characters are brilliance. Helping Jesse Faden reassemble the Bureauâs Board and watching her map out itâs future with Emily Pope is compelling and moving- retiring the harmful policies of selfish men and building a better Bureau feels good. It helps enforce the Bureau as a place the player wants to be- a place the player can see get better.
It was frustrating to me for that reason that at the end of the game almost nothing has gotten better. My primary goals in Control were to find out what happened to Dr. Darling, reunite Jesse and Dylan, and get rid of the Hiss. When the credits roll we have no idea where Darling is, Jesse and Dylan still arenât reunited, and the Hiss are still rampant in the Bureau. On their own each of these little disappointments would be forgivable, but they add up to an ending that doesnât feel like much of a conclusion.
This is an admittedly minor complaint in the face of what the game gets right. The worldbuilding is especially phenomenal. As familiar as the concept is, the paranormal in Control is made unique and refreshing. From the Service Weapon to the Board to the ever shifting Oceanview Motel, Control does a great job of making the paranormal feel not just unnatural but truly alien, different from us in form and function.
The other big issue for me was the performance. Control is often loading massive maps, and despite doing itâs best to conceal these load times would often slow to a crawl during combat or when coming out of a pause menu. I even had a few crashes during particularly busy scenes. Apparently playing on PC resolves most of these issues, which I canât attest to cuz I played on PS4.
Over all, I highly recommend Control. I came one boss-fight short of the platinum, and Iâm anxiously awaiting the DLC. In the meantime I intend to check out the developers other titles like Alan Wake.
Oh, also Iâm working on a review of the IT movies. So thatâll be fun.
Official Post from HollyPlays: In February, inspired by the massive Donkey Kong 64 Stream, I decided to start work on a project I'd been kicking around for a long time: a video essay on the morality of 2018's God of War. I wrote a kickass script, recorded some narration, gathered all my footage, and then....nothing. Being trans,
Alright. Now that itâs *checks watch* March 14th, Iâm ready to give you my top ten movies of last year. I know, itâs absurdly late, but a lot of the big movies didnât show in my theater so I had to wait til they hit digital or blu-ray to see them. Hell, thereâs some I still havenât seen. Weâre all doing our best, right?
(Iâm gonna spare you the âsorry for how long its beenâ. you know how long its been and how sorry i am by now. <3)
#10- Eighth Grade
You can tell this is gonna be a good list, because a movie this good is at the bottom. Eighth Grade is a hard, brilliant time capsule of a time in our lives we all do our best to black out. It speaks eloquently and simply about the effect social media has on the process of maturing without sounding like an after-school special for baby boomers. Itâs phenomenal on a technical level as well- the cinematography is gorgeous and the soundtrack is immersive and haunting. I cannot reccomend Eighth Grade enough. (Nor can I spell recommend properly, apparently.)
#9- Hereditary
This movie fucked me up. I donât have the biggest tolerance for horror (which Iâm working on!) but typically a jumpscare movie like Sinister doesnât do much for me afterwords. Hereditary had me on edge for days. You should absolutely go watch this movie wrapped up in a blanket, and you should absolutely read the doesthedogdie.com page for it so youâre completely prepared. Because trust me- you do not know what is going to happen.
#8- Thunder Road
Thunder Road had my number one spot for a long time, but thereâs so many other excellent movies this year. I expected this movie to make me cry, but I didnât expect it to hit me as hard as it did. Thunder Road is a fantastic indie movie with a fantastic cast and script. Jim Cummings delivers a picture-perfect performance.
#7- Roma
Roma is so hard to rank among the other movies, because I know itâs going to be a part of the film âcanonâ for years. Alfonso Cuaron is an excellent director, but I didnât get into any of his other films as much as I enjoyed Y Tu Mama Tambien. Roma changed that. It is hauntingly beautiful, especially for black and white. Itâs engineered to make you crave color, to make you crave depth from itâs characters and itâs scenery, and it delivers hard. Roma was so interesting and striking I wanted to do research on it after it was done. Thatâs some hardcore shit.
#6- First Reformed
My first Paul Schrader. (Far from my first Ethan Hawke, though. That man can get it.) This is one that haunts me, too. Every time I see some shit about Jeff Bezosâ wealth growing or workers being exploited, I hear Ethan Hawkeâs voice in my head saying âWill god forgive us?â. This was especially striking to me as someone well-versed in the teachings and customs of Christianity. Planning a rewatch soon. First Reformed absolutely deserves it.
#5- BlacKkKlansman
I was nervous to watch this one, and Iâm not sure why now. I think I had it in my head it wouldnât be very good? I donât know why I thought that. Spike Lee is good, and itâs no surprise that this movie is also quite good. John David Washington should be the next Batman. This movie doesnât break the fourth wall so much as it glides through it like a permeable membrane. Casting Alec Baldwin as the KKK spokesman in the beginning of the movie is brilliant- Spike Lee knows you associate him with Trump thanks to SNL, and it forces you to both recontextualize what heâs saying with modernity, but also to recontextualize what Trump is saying with the horrible history of his rhetoric. And then that ending, jesus christ. There is exactly one (1) feel-good moment. Everything else is designed carefully to make sure you know- nothing has changed.
#4- Sorry To Bother You
Okay, from #6 on you cannot hold me responsible for how I rank things. Everything is so close to everything else. Itâs all so good. Please do not yell at me in the comments.
Sorry to Bother You is fucking amazing. Everything about it is phenomenal. The script is tight, funny, depressing satire. The dialogue is believable and surreal. The cast is incredible. The soundtrack is wonderful. I could watch this movie forever. Donât read any spoilers for it. Donât look up anything. Just watch it.
#3- Blindspotting
Blindspotting was the only movie on this list that had me genuinely sobbing and shaking in fear. Blindspotting on paper should not work, but it works so, so well. Diggs and Casal fucking kill it. Blindspotting has so much to say about gentrification and the justice system and parole and it says it so eloquently. Itâs so hard to rank Blindspotting next to Sorry to Bother You and BlacKkKlansman because theyâre all such exceptional movies, but Blindspottingâs visceral third act keeps it a touch above the others.
#1- Spider-Man Into The Spider-Verse
Spider Verse is the perfect superhero movie. It stands so triumphantly above the rest of the comic book movie canon. And I love superhero movies! Everything about Spider Verse is to be commended. The writing is fucking impeccable. The first act is devastating. The character work is phenomenal, especially for a film that literally shoves three spider-people at you in a single scene.
Thatâs to say nothing of the absolute visual treat that Spider-Verse is. The animation is like nothing Iâve ever seen. The colors are striking and blended so perfectly.
Spider Verse is a superhero movie, but itâs also a visually enthralling artistic masterpiece. Itâs tied for me for the best movie of 2018.
#1- The Favourite
I hated The Lobster. I thought Killing of a Sacred Deer was a solid 8/10. But The Favourite is so, so far above Yorgos Lanthimosâ other work.
The cinematography is amazing. I never thought Iâd enjoy a fish-eye lens in a movie, but it works so well here to distort your perspective of these peopleâs home and lives.
Emma Stone, Rachel Weisz, and Olivia Colman are all amazing. Any one of them couldâve won Best Actress.
The Favourite is a movie about lesbian love. It never feels voyeuristic- even when scenes where it by all rights should- or fetishistic. It never objectifies lesbian sex or romance.
The script is amazing. The dialogue is smart and complex and simultaneously understandable. It never feels stuffy or forced. Itâs often laugh-out-loud funny.
I was /not/ prepared for how good The Favourite is. I donât think you are, either.
So thatâs my top ten movies of 2018! Iâve got something special in the pipeline for you, so look out for that soon!
It feels like itâs been two years since I did one of these. The good news is things are finally starting to settle down over here, so you might see more of me in the next few months!
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs: I think the Coen brothers are kind of hit-or-miss for me, so what better to prove that than a Coen brothers anthology? The stories here range from excellent to mediocre to shit. Tom Waits is in it though, so 5 fuckin stars.
Cam: This movie kicked ass. I went into it with very little expectations, but I really enjoyed it. A very honest and non-judgemental depiction of online sex work, plus some genuine spooks. Iâm a sucker for movies that allow for supernatural shit without explaining it in fine detail, and Cam hits that nail squarely on the head.
Shirkers: I watched Shirkers twice this week. Wait, shit, I already talked about Shirkers. Anyway go watch it. Itâs heartbreaking.
Suspiria(1977): All the build up for the âscary shitâ was a thousand times scarier than the actual âscary shitâ- except for the end, which was genuinely fucking terrifying and riveting in a way that the until-then cheesy special effects did not prepare me for. The lead actress here killed it, and the cinematography and lighting are expert all the way through.
Thor Ragnarok: I go back and forth on my favorite MCU movie, but this is the top contender currently. Everything about it just fucking works. Weâve seen so little of Odin (and what we have seen hasnât been all that favorable) that itâs perfectly believable that he was a violent conqueror before now. We know so little about the nature of Asgard and whatever the ânine realmsâ are that Taika Waititiâs restructuring of Asgard from âheaven, kindaâ into âanother planetâ makes perfect sense. I have a lot of respect for the way this movie rewrites MCU history for the better, on top of just being an incredible fucking movie.
The Killing of A Sacred Deer: If you watch this, know that itâs a greek tragedy first. Know that itâs more like a play than a movie. If you go into this expecting an on-rails two hour thriller you will be disappointed. I expected The Lobster 2, so I was pleasantly surprised. (I fucking hated The Lobster.) Colin Farrell sold me on this movie, but Nicole Kidman has the best performance by far.
The Birdcage: Nathan Lane and Robin Williams will get me to watch anything, including a movie where a man in drag pretends to be a housewife, which would seem to be the pinnacle of everything about drag that makes me uncomfortable. Despite that, The Birdcage manages to make me cry several times, and also break my heart.
Blow-Out: I donât know what I expected from this but it definitely wasnât that. So many artsy movies from the 80s feel like tabletop rpg sessions gone wrong, and I love that. It works really well here. That ending is unexpected and completely wild.
The 400 Blows: I always here this movie talked about in the context of âgreatest movies ever madeâ and itâs easy to see why. I also feel like every time I watch a French movie thereâs someone shitty to children. Or, more likely, several someones. 400 Blows, Fat Girl, Fantastic Planet even.
Dazed and Confused: I expected this to be a high-school nostalgia movie but it really isnât. High school is garbage for a lot of people for a lot of reasons, and Dazed and Confused doesnât mince words about that. Itâs also very hard to take Matthew McConaughey seriously here after True Detective. He looks like a baby. I have seen âold, creepy Matthew McConaugheyâ and this is not it.
Citizen Kane: Alright. I see what all the fuss is about now. also Orson Welles sexy.
Jesus Christ, I watched so many movies this month.
Donât Worry, He Wonât Get Far On Foot: Maybe my favorite title for a movie. The central plot is okay, but Jonah Hillâs character really made this movie work. He should get a nom for Best Supporting Actor or somethin.
Mandy: This is two movies. A quiet, contemplative love story and a balls-to-the-wall revenge movie. Nicolas Cage is as good here as heâs ever been. The plot is....irrelevant. Come for the visuals and the score, stay for the chainsaw fights.
Thunder Road: This is the best movie of 2018, easily. Yes, I know Sorry To Bother You came out this year. PLEASE, go watch Thunder Road. It is so good and sweet and heartbreaking.
The Lure: The Lure is such a weird and unique movie it doesnât have to be âgoodâ, itâs memorable for what it is. Which- to be clear- is not good.
My Dinner With Andre: Itâs a good thing I like plays, because this is a very long and sleepy one. I enjoy it a lot though. Itâs contemplative and rewarding to watch Wallace Shawn tear this dude down after he talks for an hour straight.
His Girl Friday: This movie sucks. Fuck you. This is like if somebody made It Happened One Night and forgot to right any jokes in it and then gave every cast member speed. The result is a two hour black and white panic attack. Criticism for this section of the Roundup costs you ten dollars.
Repo Man: Repo Man feels like a deeply weird game of Urban Shadows and I love it. I love Harry Dean Stanton and I love this weird alien punk movie.
Down By Law: I donât know how Jarmusch managed to make a movie with Tom Waits and have him be completely outshined, but damn. Roberto Benigni completely runs away with this movie. Almost nothing else about it is memorable.
The Palm Beach Story: This movie came out after Design For Living did, so they have no excuse to not just all date each other. Also that twins thing at the end fuckin sucks. How did anybody put up with that shit?
The Haunting of Hill House: A strong contender for the best horror media Iâve ever seen. Haunting of Hill House is absolutely wonderful. On a technical level alone, it stands against the genre, but the script and performances carry it much higher. Ten out of ten.
This is going to be hard, but Iâm gonna try and talk about Shirkers and why I love it without spoiling anything.
Itâs tempting to call Shirkers a âlove letter to filmâ but that isnât right. No part of Shirkers is a love letter. It would be fair to say that film informs and shapes Shirkers, but film informs and shapes all films.
Shirkers is a movie about a movie called Shirkers, that several young women made and a man destroyed. Shirkers is a documentary about the making of a movie called Shirkers, and the lives of the people who made it and the man who kept it from them.
Shirkers is a movie about how evil spoils the things you love- twists them and turns them back on you until you donât recognize them. Shirkers is a movie about your part in the that twisting, and what responsibility you hold to keep it from happening to the people you love.
Shirkers is a movie about a missing page in film history, and the pain of a story never told.
Okay. I definitely spoiled it a lot, but thatâs okay, I think.
Shirkers is magical. The filmâs subject is light-hearted and bright and colorful, and the story Shirkers has to tell about that subject is sinister and severe, and it has no difficulty intertwining them.
The music is absolutely marvelous. The story is enthralling and captivating and painful. The way the movie uses scenes from itâs subject works so, so well.
God, I do not envy anyone who has to review documentaries for a living. This sucks.
You should watch Shirkers. Itâs solidly in my top 5 of 2018. Itâs lovely and haunting and optimistic and sad and infuriating. Itâs so, so fucking beautiful.
Beverly Luff Linn and the Beauty of the Weird and the Ordinary
I had no idea what to expect from this movie, to be totally honest with you. I hadnât seen any of director Jim Hoskingâs earlier work (nor do I plan to, to be honest with you) and the title doesnât exactly give much away. Based on the cast of Aubrey Plaza, Craig Robinson, Matt Berry, and Jemaine Clement, I expected a solid off-beat comedy with some wiggle-room in the script for them to one-line at each other. That is not at all what this movie is.
An Evening With Beverly Luff Linn is a delightfully strange, viscerally enticing film about a young woman in love. Itâs a movie about an uncomfortable mystery, and the way we relate to each other. Itâs a movie about a dead man on a stage, and about a series of people in love with each other and their sadness. Itâs also much, much simpler than that.
One of my favorite things about Beverly Luff Linn is the bizareness. Almost everyone in this movie is weird in their own way. Craig Robinsonâs character only grunts, and Jemaine Clement never takes off those fucking aviators. This is to say nothing about the side characters- short men with huge wisps of hair on the top of their head, massive men with gentle, understanding demeanors. Beverly Luff Linn feels very out of touch with reality, and at the same time very dedicated to displaying the diversity of the human form. No two characters in this movie look alike.
I also very much enjoy the way this movie treats itâs fat characters. A large percentage of the characters in this movie are overweight or fat, and the movie doesnât ever really make their fatness the butt of the joke. Which is not to say there isnât fat shaming, or Beverly Luff Linn exists in a world without it- just that when a character calls another character fat, theyâre almost never talking to one of the actually fat characters. Also, thereâs a scene where two fat people have completely nude, uncensored sex. It isnât a joke, or a bit- theyâre just having sex and being fat. I love that. That kicks ass.
The heart of this movie is itâs love for the bizarre. The characters are all unique and odd, and the mystery at the center of it all is told more through context than anything else. Youâre left wondering how much you really know about these people and what theyâre doing here, and how much of this world really resembles your own, and the answers revealed at to you range from ânot muchâ to âa surprising amountâ.
Beverly Luff Linn is weird, and I canât really explain how weird it is. But the story at the heart of the movie is also weirdly ordinary. I had several possible theories at the second act of the movie, and by the third act I found most of them were far too outlandish. Itâs a surprisingly simple story, told slowly and through character behaviors so as to leave you in the fantastical dark for as long as possible.
I loved An Evening With Beverly Luff Linn. Iâm not familiar with it, yet, but I love it.
At this point, youâve probably played Read Dead Redemption 2. If you havenât played it, you at least have absorbed it by virtue of being online- it had the biggest opening weekend in entertainment history, after all. I bought it when it came out, like the rest of the world apparently did, and Iâve been struggling to talk about it ever since. It feels way too massive, too comprehensive, for me to talk about it in one sitting, so Iâm giving up on that. Iâm gonna say some things about it, and if I donât say everything I could, Iâll just have to fucking live with it.
Red Deadâs scope works in its favor in many ways, but it helps them critically especially. Smarter people than I have written about how time helps the comics industry dodge criticism- somebody points out that itâs shitty to make Cap a Nazi, and the writers say âjust wait til the whole thing is out. just wait.â and then by the time the whole thing is out, the world has moved on, and it doesnât matter that the ending is even shittier.
Red Dead 2 has a similar problem, at least for me- I donât want to read about it. The story is so insanely long and full of turns and twists that the potential for spoilers is unmatched. I find myself avoiding content related to it at all, lest I find out something I didnât want to know.
The scope of Cowboy Game (thatâs what iâm calling it from now on. sorry. thatâs what it calls. âred dead 2âł is dead. long live Cowboy Game.) helps it in my estimation, too. Itâs a massive game, with an insane amount of activities- does it really matter if some of the mechanics are clunky? Does it matter if it tackles important issues in shitty ways?
The answer, obviously, is yes. Just because I can play dominoes in my video game doesnât mean I should overlook the fact that the KKK are a massive, powerful force that shaped American culture for decades, and not bumbling dummies like Cowboy Game wants to pretend they are. Just because thereâs a mission where Arthur Morgan plays bodyguard for some suffragettes doesnât make up for the fact that he can also ride suffragettes out to the train tracks, tie them down, and wait for the six oâ clock.
In many ways, Cowboy Game is more simulation than it is video game. People canât ride on your horse with you if you have a pelt on your horse- using a rifle or even a pistol will dramatically lessen the pelt quality of animals you kill. Every time you get punched, your hat fucks right off your head. If you donât feed and brush your horse, it gets tired easier. If you donât feed Arthur, he gets skinny, and weaker. If you feed him too much, he gets fat, and his stamina worsens. (Supposedly.)
Weâve all heard a marketing campaign call an open world game a âliving, breathing worldâ but Cowboy Game seems to genuinely live up to that promise. These mechanics are minutia designed to emulate reality, to challenge your assumptions about what a video game can do and be. Cowboy Game doesnât want you to think of it as a video game. Cowboy Game wants you to think of it as an experience.
Because labor abuses are things that happen in the video game industry, and not to experiences. Tedious, frustrating looting mechanics occur in video games, not experiences. Binding âlook at personâ and âdraw gun at personâ to the same button is something a video game dev would do, not someone crafting an experience. A bug which erases whole characters from the game so common youâre more likely to hit it than not is a video game thing. Not for an experience such as this.
Donât get me wrong. I am thoroughly enjoying Cowboy Game. Itâs absolutely beautiful. Even hunting, which generally frustrates me in video games, is satisfying and rewarding. The characters all feel distinct and three-dimensional (except Micah, who feels like a poo wrapped in a poo tortilla). The game feels genuinely alive, and thatâs a massive feat that should not be understated.
The most frustrating part of Cowboy Game for me is itâs protagonist, Arthur Morgan. The game wants you to make a decision, embodied by itâs âhonorâ track, about whether or not Arthur Morgan is a good man. It tasks you again and again with deciding whether or not Arthur should do good- and then it takes great pains to undermine your decision. Arthur stops on a ride to help a man whoâs lost his horse, and then immediately remarks to his companions âIf you hadnât been here, I wouldâve robbed him.â Well no, Arthur, you wouldnât, because youâre my goddamn avatar and Iâm calling the shots here and I say youâre a good guy.
To some degree, this is necessary for the story. Arthur is, after all, a train-robbing, cop-killing bandit- it makes sense that he would have a bit of a cold side.
And to some degree, this is cowardice on Rockstarâs part. Thereâs no good reason to let Arthur kidnap and murder suffragettes. Thereâs no reason to let Arthur stay quiet while his Native American companion avenges the needless death of several bandits. Thereâs no reason Arthur should do nothing about his black friendâs attempted lynching. Rockstar wants Cowboy Game to feel limitless- but in doing so it sits the player down on the fence and resists just about every attempt to climb off and onto a side. And in 2018, thatâs a dangerous position to be in.
Iâm gonna keep playing Cowboy Game. Iâm going to keep trying to do good out here in the world, and Iâm gonna keep trying to make Arthur Morgan do good there in Lemoyne.
This year is going by too slowly. I wish this was the November Roundup. Then itâd be closer to Smash and also Christmas. Then it can slow down, though, cuz I like winter.
Assassinâs Creed Odyssey: Starting big this month. Assassinâs Creed has done a lot of course correcting the last few years, but Odyssey may have corrected too far for me. The story here is enjoyable, and so is the stealth combat, but every single thing they put in between me and either one of those things is miserably frustrating. The game is constantly adding quests to my log without prompt or explanation, so I have no motivation or desire to complete them. Combat is floaty and repetitive and even assassinations have been reworked. I donât mind that stabbing a dude in the throat isnât a one-hit kill, but itâs such a huge departure from every other Assassinâs Creed game. The end result is really frustrating and makes what should be the best part of the game mediocre. Thereâs no shields to force you to dodge and counter (no in-game explanation for this, btw. every enemy will have a shield, but you donât because fuck you.) but the prompts telling you when to dodge or parry are so tiny youâre lucky to even notice them, let alone hit whatever buggy ass timing window the game expects of you. Anyway. All that would be forgivable if the story was good enough, but thereâs so much filler in between story beats. It starts to feel like a chore.
Spider-Man(PS4): Now this is a game. Insomniac knew exactly what I wanted out of a Spider-Man game and hand-delivered it to me. Dynamic but forgiving combat, an emotional story, Arkham-style stealth missions, The Sinister Six, all kinds of unlockable suits. I played the shit out of this. Hell, I got the Platinum trophy. My one complaint is that getting the platinum can be a bit grindy, as you have to go to every district and stop like 20 crimes in each one, but I put on a Spotify playlist in the background and had a ball doing that too. I hope theyâre saving Venom for the sequel.
As Above, So Below: Iâve seen this three times now, and somehow every time I see it I expect it to be mediocre, but it never is. Itâs not the best horror movie Iâve ever seen, but itâs conceptually intriguing and scary as hell every time I watch it.
Sorry To Bother You: This should win Best Picture but it wonât because thereâs no justice in the world. You can safely watch the trailer for this movie, but do yourself a favor and learn NOTHING ELSE about it. Just watch it. Be aware that it is an anti-capitalist surrealist comedy and then just sit down and inject it into you. I need to watch it a few more times to really wrap myself around it but holy shit is it good. On a technical level alone, itâs a fucking masterpiece.
Medium Cool: I got the criterion of this in a bundle with some others for super cheap and I almost feel bad about it, cuz this movie earns its price tag. Medium Cool blends documentary and fiction so well itâs hard to see the difference, if there even is one. The âstoryâ is interesting enough, but Medium Coolâs real strength is as a snapshot of Chicago, 1969. This is a must-watch IMO, but definitely watch the special features or do a lil research before hand or the first act might lose you.
Design For Living: This movieâs cute as hell. It isnât To Be Or Not To Be, but thatâs not a reasonable bar for any movie, even a Lubitsch. I enjoy the 1933 polyamory rep, and I was surprised at how much genuine agency the female lead has. Also, is it just me, or is the main girl going off and getting married a HUGE trope in screwball comedies?
Tampopo: Tampopo is a little weird, but more than that, itâs perfect in every way.
Eighth Grade: I remember when âwhatâ came out, Bo Burnham said he wanted to do more creative things and less comedy. If Eighth Grade is the caliber of thing he meant, I hope he never does comedy again. Devoid of any over-arcing plot, Eighth Grade serves as a picture-perfect snapshot (or snapchat, eh millenials?) of the titular time period, and that means it is exactly as cringe-worthy and hard to watch as it sounds. It took me two days to watch this movie, because the embarassment was just too much. But donât do that. Sit down and watch it all the way through. Also, I canât believe Grover from Kicking & Screaming gave me dad feels. What the fuck.
Apostle: I donât know what to call this genre. Is this a horror film, or a thriller? Idk. Anyway. Apostle is kinda like The Crucible, only in The Crucible the real monster is The Evil That Men Do, and in Apostle the real monster is The Evil That Men Do and Also That Gimp Lookin Thing and also The Earth. I enjoyed this movie, but I would have enjoyed it a lot more if the torture had been a little more tasteful.
Inside Llewyn Davis: Iâve been saying it âlou-ellenâ all this time but thereâs no L there, so egg on my fuckin face. This movie is one of my favorite Coen brothers I think. And not just because thereâs multiple fluffy cats.
Ant Man & The Wasp: Turns out having one script and not a Frankenscript of three will do a lot of good. This movie was really good, except that the romance between Scott and Hope still feels really forced. Also it has the biggest bullshit science factor of any movie ever made, and itâs little jokes about it donât make it easier to suspend my disbelief.Â
Tucker and Dale vs Evil: I remembered really loving this when it first came out, but it really falls apart in the last act. I know the whole âhalf hilbillyâ thing is a genre trope and thatâs why they did it, but it just feels unnecessary in a movie packed full of genre tropes. A real less is more situation.
Wandersong: This game is cute as hell. I didnât beat it for whatever reason, but I really loved it. The art design is wonderful, the soundtrack is sweet and catchy, and you get to sing. This is a really good palate cleanser and happy game.
Dead By Daylight: I got this for free with PS+ a few months back but I didnât get around to playing it until recently and I wish I had. Iâm not sure if I want to call it âgoodâ, because itâs such a unique experience that I find it difficult to compare it with other games. The closest thing to it is Evolve, which I never played. Pick this up while itâs on sale and try it out. Itâs really, really fun.
What Changes, And What Doesnât: On The Worldâs End
(cw: alcoholism, suicide)
I was 17 in 2013.
Thatâs a wild thought to me now, but 5 years isnât such a long time. I had just turned 17, and The Worldâs End was playing in theaters. Iâd seen Shaun of the Dead and loved it (although I hadnât seen any of the zombie movies it sent up). Iâd seen Hot Fuzz and loved it (although I didnât come to appreciate itâs brilliant recursivity until much later). So for my birthday, my older sister took me to see The Worldâs End, my first R rated movie in theaters.
I was on the verge of graduating high school at the time, the irony of which did not dawn on me. I was also on the verge of having an existential crisis, which would lead me to daily panic attacks and leaning exceptionally hard on alcohol to cope, the irony of which could not have possibly dawned on me because I couldnât see the future.
I moved across the country for college. All my best friends came over the night before I left. I cooked, and we watched the Cornetto trilogy. By the time we finished The Worldâs End, we didnât want the night to be over, so we watched it again. The world did itâs best to beat this movie over my head before I would need it, but I didnât listen.
The college I moved to was fine- good, even. I made new friends, a new hobby, and I had my family around. On the surface there was very little reason for the sudden, sharp decline.
Boiling just under the surface was a concoction of gender dysphoria (which I had no name for), self-hatred, and anger. High school had been such a fucking mess for me, as it had been for every high school student. I knew things were going to get better as soon as I graduated, and I could move away and be myself.
Only things didnât get better, and I wasnât myself. I avoided mirrors at any cost. I couldnât stand to look at myself, or to be aware that other people were looking at me. I found an area of study I genuinely excelled at, and my college professors did their best to encourage me to pursue it. I started having panic attacks: great, foreign, chest-bursters that slammed me into myself almost every day. I started drinking.
You know this story, right? I donât need to go into more detail. I had a lot of opportunities to get help. I had a good support system. I did not get help. I did not use my support system.
I started to learn things about myself that I didnât understand. I started to understand why I hated looking at myself. I flinched away from these epiphanies and sat in shadow as long as possible. I got a knife. I made a plan. The plan fell apart, and it all came out. It felt like the end of the world.
But it wasnât. I got help. I moved back home. I stopped drinking. And I approached those nagging insights and found them welcoming. I changed my name. I found that a lot of the things I had believed to be true, genuinely known to be true were not. They were twisted perceptions of the world, fun-house mirror facts made looming by the lens with which I viewed myself. What I believed in changed, and what I fought for changed.
Gary King, at 17 years old, got all his best friends to go drinking with him. They conducted a magnificent farewell tour for the town theyâd grown up in. They laughed, and did drugs, and Gary King had the best night of his life. But it couldâve been better.
Gary King didnât stop drinking. Gary King started to hate himself. Gary King lost his sense of identity, and when it came time to get help, Gary King found he hated help, too.
Gary King went back to his old friends. Gary King went back home, and he vowed to recreate that feeling. The hope, the promise of opportunities just over the horizon. Gary King fought hard-with his friends, with alcohol, and also with robots. And then Gary King found he couldnât keep drinking, and the world ended.
But it didnât end. It just changed.
Gary King found he was someone else now- someone healthier. He had new friends- like the old, but not quite. He changed his name. What he believed in (having a good time) changed, and what he fought for (now, the rights of his friends) changed.
The Worldâs End is obviously a deeply personal story for me, but itâs also more than that. Itâs a movie about corporate conformity, and the responsibilities of the individual to combat it. Itâs a movie about what it means to be human. Itâs a movie about addiction, and several forms of self-harm, and nostalgia. Itâs a movie that predicts every single event in the first fifteen minutes. Itâs a meta commentary on homages and the expectations of trilogies.
I should probably stop prefacing these with âsorry thereâs so little this month, things have been crazyâ and just accept that my life is such that Things will always be crazy and thatâs just how itâs gonna fuckin be.
Kung Fu Panda: Look, I donât have deep insight about Kung Fu Panda. Somebody probably does, but it isnât me. My english major has failed me here, at the towering cinematic stairs before Kung Fu Panda. Ian McShane plays a tiger with anime shoulders. Jack Black fights him with his panda tummy. Itâs a good movie.
Before Sunrise(1995): I was gonna do a whole write-up of this trilogy, but it just didnât happen. Before Sunrise is probably my favorite to watch of this trilogy. It sets up so, so much in the later two movies and explores those themes really well on itâs own. If you only watch one of them, make it this one. Plus, itâs the first one, so youâre not likely to watch the others first.
Before Sunset(2004): I liked that this one was a little shorter, the hour and twenty run time let Linklater really throttle the emotions for the second meeting. I think that served the story really well. This movie was when it started to sink in how cool the concept for this series really is, and what a unique perspective it grants the viewer.
Before Midnight(2013): I donât like Before Midnight all that much. I love it, donât get me wrong- I think itâs the most technically perfect of the three, and it does a phenomenal job of exploring the themes posited in Before Sunrise. But itâs much, much harder to watch. The first act is really cute, though.
Kicking & Screaming(1995): I rewatched this a few times and itâs still the best movie ever made. If you donât laugh at COOKIE MAN PRO LIFE? I question your humanity.
A Ghost Story(2017): I also rewatched this and liked it even more on the second time. The first act is still a little too slow (she eats a pie all sad!) but itâs overall incredible. This is a must-see if you like artsy shit. If youâre like really busy just watch Kung Fu Panda instead, thatâs a great movie too. Thatâs not sarcasm.
Heart of A Dog: I expected this movie to make me cry and it did, but not where I expected it to. The style of documentary here is odd- I expected a little more straightforward, interview style, but I got a woman narrating over occasionally relevant imagery. The latter half of this movie is excellent, and worth the watch.
Amanda Knox(2016): Fucked up that the cop who pushed all that bullshit evidence got promoted. Fucked up that none of the people responsible for locking up two innocent people will ever be held accountable in any way. The system works!
The Bleeding Edge(2018): THE SYSTEM WORKS! EVERYTHING IS GREAT! (This is the second movie on the list to feature Trump, both of which I watched in one day, which fucking sucked. The universe owes Ana Fuentes unlimited money.)
Cube Escape: Paradox: This short film was released simultaneously with the new Cube Escape game, which you may recognize from my manic ravings about itâs quality and genius. I havenât played the game yet, but the short film is fucking excellent. It does a really wonderful job of pushing the narrative forward while also paying homage to the flash games and the conventions of the escape room genre.
Shaun of the Dead: Shaun of the Dead isnât as strong as Hot Fuzz or The Worldâs End, but thatâs a standard no one should have to live up to. Shaun is still a kickass movie. Iâm especially fond of the way itâs zombies retain a chunk of their humanity. Also I noticed this time that the military who save their asses at the end of the movie call the zombies âzombiesâ and Shaun and Edâs refusal to is indicative of their inability to take the situation seriously.
The Death of Stalin: Wasnât as good as I expected it to be, but still really fucking good. Steve Buscemiâs hapless, bumbling Kruschev is fucking excellent, and the rest of the characters accentuate him so well.
Tully: If you rewind time you can see the exact point at which I realized it was all a hallucination and this wasnât a lesbian movie and watch my heart fucking sink to the floor
Hidden Figures: Way better than I expected. On some level I thought this movie was going to be like a historical disney film to show seventh graders. Thatâs probably the internalized racism, because this movie kicks ass. Well worth the watch, and more accurate than expected.
Frasier: Iâm two seasons into rewatching Frasier. Niles is the reason sitcoms were invented. Cheers sucks.
Look. Mostly, I write reviews. I try to describe how a game works, and then what I liked and didnât like about it, so that a layman could read a review of mine and have a basic understanding of the game.
I donât really need to do that with Undertale. First of all, itâs a cultural phenomenon. Youâve probably encountered Undertale at some point, and if you havenât you probably did and just didnât recognize it. Second, itâs three years old. You can understand âHow Undertale Worksâ by watching the trailer. Although, I guess you could do that with most of the things I review. Maybe I should rethink my general strategy, huh?
Anyway. Last night I beat Undertale for the umpteenth time and I wanted to write about it. So, in lieu of a normal review, I want to talk about why Undertale is special- to me. I want to talk about what makes Undertale a game I keep coming back to.
(I listened to this album while I worked on this. You should listen to it, too.)
[no spoilers, except theoretical ones.]
Iâve noticed a tendency when people talk about Undertale to decry the fandom. The most common phrase is âUndertaleâs great, but the fans are shit.â I donât really understand this mindset, to be honest? I think thereâs a lot of Undertale âcontentâ out there Iâm not interested in consuming (the re-written steven universe covers come to mind) but that doesnât make it shit. Itâs just for someone else. A lot of Undertale fans are kids, and by nature of being kids, they make content for other kids. Thereâs nothing wrong with the vast majority of Undertale fanworks, even especially the ones youâd call cringy. They just arenât for you. (Side note: I just remembered that MatPat sent a steam code for this game to the pope. holy shit. what an extremely online thing to do)
Steven Universe is much the same, I think. People like to bash the Steven Universe fandom as zealous or overly critical(which. fair.) but I donât know. I think if you avoid the people making two hour âSTEVEN UNIVERSE CRITICALâ videos you just end up with a lot of people who wanna talk about the lesbian rock show. Thatâs not so bad.
And I think the reason these two things in specific are targeted this way isnât a coincidence. Steven Universe is a kidâs show only technically- it airs on Cartoon Network, but the general themes of loss and redemption are far more mature than anything I watched as a kid. Undertale isnât so much a game for children as it is a game that happens to be appropriate for children. But I think the greatest common factor here is that theyâre both about redemption, and hope.
Undertale and Steven Universe work on the fundamental belief that people, even people who want to kill you, are good.
I donât want to date this piece too much, but in 2018 thatâs a little hard to believe. We have a vile GOP pushing a rapist into the Supreme Court. (I took a break from writing this to watch a little of his hearing, and had a panic attack while he screamed about what a great man he is.) We have a president caging literal, actual children. Consuming media which would have you believe that the opposition are good seems a little misguided, right?
But I donât know that it is. Obviously, capital-E Evil exists- we see it in ICE and Kavanaugh and McConnell- but that unrelenting, selfish Evil is rare. Most people arenât Evil, or even Good. Most people are people, with all the flaws and charms that entails.Thatâs why the most common run in Undertale isnât Genocide, or Pacifist. Itâs Neutral. The Neutral run isnât the best run, or the most rewarding- but it is the easiest and most common.
Which is not to say that if you ran or prefer the Neutral run, youâre a bad person. the Neutral run is far too wide a category to be making judgements like that. For example, you can not kill a single enemy and get the neutral ending- or you can kill every major character and still get the neutral ending. The Genocide and Pacifist runs are defined by how you go out of your way. You either spend the extra time to be a monster, or you spend the extra time to help people. You arenât being faulted for taking the âeasy way outâ- but your perseverance will reward you, one way or another.
I could talk for hours about the individual pieces of Undertale- the phenomenal music, the equally cute and creepy art direction, the fantastic cast of characters and perfect second-to-second writing. But none of that really comes together without Undertaleâs morality system. The music isnât as important until itâs not there. The characters arenât as impactful until you know their life is in your hands. I wonât ever play a genocide run again- (I barely played it the first time- my friend John killed everyone while I cowered behind him, literally.) but the shadow of the genocide run hangs over me every time I play the game. Every time I throw myself against Undyneâs fight, or Mettaton EX, or god help me Muffet, I know in the back of my mind I could make it quick. But it isnât worth it. It never is.
Undertale is special to me because itâs about redemption. Itâs about being better than you were yesterday, and taking the extra step to be better whenever you can. âArenât God of War and Bojack Horseman about that, too?â Yeah, kinda. But God of War and Bojack Horseman both suffer from being inherently for adults, and the necessity of intertwining adult themes changes the stakes of those stories, and introduces problems Undertale doesnât really have. Undertale is special to me because it looked me in the eyes and told me it believed in me, and that I could be good.
People always say Undertale is a game best played blind. I donât know that thatâs true. I think a line at the end of the pacifist run is the perfect advice for someone just starting Undertale. âDonât kill, and donât be killed. Thatâs the best you can strive for.â
(Seriously, if you havenât played Undertale yet, you need to. Itâs the best game ever made.)
Iâve been playing World of Warcraft again. Thatâs not super relevant to Within the Wires, but itâs true. I was level 80 when I picked it back up, and Iâd leveled to about 96 and started to get burnt out. Someone very helpfully pointed out that I could listen to podcasts and play at the same time, so I did, and the burnout disappeared.
The first one I turned to was Within The Wires. I was a huge fan of the first season when it came out- I had a job that necessitated massive amounts of unsupervised alone time, so I listened to all of The Orbiting Human Circus, TAZ Balance, and Within The Wires, but I got laid off just as season 2 of Within the Wires was starting, and school started shortly after, so my podcast time plummeted.
I wasnât that bothered at the time, but I am now. I am mad because itâs been almost a year, and thatâs an entire year I could have spent in love with Within the Wires again.
Within the Wires is a narrative podcast told through the form of more traditional audio recordings. The first season is a sci-fi story told through relaxation tapes issued to the patients in a dystopian Institute. The second season is a love story about a missing artist, told through museum audio guides. The third season is a political thriller, told through dictated memos from an executive to his secretary.
The series is written by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Mathewson, the latter of whom also narrated season one (and did a kick-ass job). Season two is narrated by Rima Te Wiata, and season 3 by Lee LeBreton. Season three is only just starting, but LeBreton is already killing it and I canât wait to hear the rest.
Season one is phenomenal, but by virtue of itâs medium is also not for everyone- my girlfriend had a hard time listening to the surreal faux relaxation tapes because they made her genuinely sleepy, and then creeped out. Season two is my personal favorite. The description and analysis of paintings that donât exist pairs so wonderfully with the interpersonal dramas of characters who donât exist either.Â
Rima Te Wiata plays Roimata Mangakahia, fellow artist to the main subject of season two, Claudia Atieno, a famous painter. The series explores Roimata and Atienoâs professional and romantic relationship, and the effects Atienoâs disappearance has on Roimata as time passes. The later episodes are genuinely heartwrenching, and the series finale ties it back into season one in a satisfying tribute to both seasons.
Season three is on track to be completely different, and I cannot wait.
I feel like the U in Round(U)p should be capitalized. Is it? I dunno. We had The Big Move this month, so Iâm still pretty frazzled. I spent most of the month either moving or stressing about moving, but I still got a surprising amount of stuff in.
To Be or Not To Be(1942): I watched this movie three times the first week I saw it. I read that Mel Brooks re-made this, but I donât know that Iâll be able to watch it because of how fucking excellent and precious and good this movie is. I need to watch more Lubitsch. I canât remember the last time a movie made me laugh this hard and also dunked on Naziâs this good.
The Great Dictator(1940): I didnât dislike this movie, but I will admit it wasnât as good as I hoped itâd be. The speech at the end of the movie is really the only reason to watch it, and I can hear that in Rishlooâs Feathergun without any of the slapstick which, while usually good, didnât really land for me here.
A Ghost Story: If youâve seen this movie you know I loved it. The unusual framing, the extended shots, the disconnected but intimate characters, this movie has all the makings for something Iâd love. (Side note: This would make a HELL of a double feature with Uncle Boonmee.) The first act is a little slow, but the rest of the film is a slam dunk.
The Belko Experiment: I felt like this movie started off wanting to say something, but it never really did. The ending is satisfying enough, I suppose, and the premise is relatively interesting. I think I gave this two and a half stars, which still feels appropriate. I donât think Iâd watch it again, but I enjoyed it.
The One I Love: This movie knocked my socks off. I was expecting kind of a romantic comedy, and it does not deliver. It twists your expectations slowly, a scene at a time, and the end result is moving and compelling and marvelous. I keep meaning to watch this again.
The VVitch: I bought this a solid five months ago and my girlfriend has been begging me to sit down and watch it ever since, and I really really should have listened. This is a slow burn if there ever fucking was one, but god does it pay off. That last scene is so goddamn good and haunting.
Videodrome: I started and never finished Scanners, but Videodrome kicked ass. Iâm a sucker for the surreal, and Videodrome slaps a new, weirder coat of paint over the whole genre. I loved the gory, sticky practical effects and the politics of cruelty and the whole damn package.
A Matter of Life And Death(1946): I can think of very few better uses of color in a film, especially one as old as this. It was absolutely brilliant to make the scenes on earth in color and the scenes in the afterlife in black and white, and the ideas the film put forth make so much sense in this lens itâs hard not to fall in love with the concept and the characters.
It Happened One Night(1934): I knew the main premise of this movie going in, so I expected it to be a little creepy, stalkerish, but it managed to subvert my expectations. It stays charming the whole way through, and the ending was so cute and sweet I teared up.
Golf Story: This is technically my second time through Golf Story, after my first playthrough was corrupted by the infamous Tiny Park glitch. The good news is that Golf Story is still an absolute gem. The story is clever and the dialogue is funny, and the golfing mechanics are simple enough to understand and difficult enough to remain complex. If you have a switch, you really need to check this out.
Battle Chef Brigade: Donât call this a review because Iâm super early in this game, but I am loving it. Itâs insane that it has full voice acting, but mostly the core mechanics of the game are just so fucking satisfying and rewarding and original.
Avengers: Infinity War: This movie really benefited from a second watch for me. Going in prepared for the ending didnât really help, but I did find myself enjoying Thanos a lot more. I still wish the crew at Wakanda had more screen time, but I imagine 4 will mostly center on them, so Iâm holding out.
Donut County: Iâve beaten this game...3 times now? 4? Itâs really short, but still absolutely marvelous. The dialogue is genuinely hilarious, and the story is touching. The core puzzle mechanic is so well executed, and it compliments the soundtrack and art style so well. Donut County is one of the best games of the year so far, and thatâs saying something.
I moved! It finally happened! I am in an entirely new apartment and still stressed out of my gourd! So, letâs talk about one of the best games for stress relief.
I recently saw an excellent episode of Boundary Break on Doom 2016 and reminded me just how much Iâve been loving this game. (Also, if you have any interest in How Games Work, check out Boundary Break. Always interesting, always well made). If you havenât played Doom, Iâll attempt to summarize. Do you remember when you were in fifth grade, and you had this vague notion that the human body was made of putty, and spent a lot of time imagining all the interesting, gory ways anime/videogame/comic book characters could tear that putty? Doom is a video game which supposes that you were right.
Doom is a game about fucking up demons in every way you can think of. If an enemy has a body part, Doom has lovingly given you some way to rip and tear it. If you can think of a gun, Doom has given it to you, and provided multiple upgrade paths for it.
Doomâs aesthetic is insane. Itâs a complete clusterfuck of hardcore djent, vaguely satanic imagery, and sci-fi weaponry, and it all works so well together.
Itâs hard not to compare Doom to Wolfenstein. Both are Bethesda published first-person shooters, about unnaturally powerful men tearing through the objectively evil without mercy. (Demons are maybe slightly less evil than Nazis, Iâd wager.) Doom and Wolfenstein, however, offer completely different mechanical experiences.
Each fight in Wolfenstein is measured and calculated, alternating between stealth and all-out warfare to give B.J. the best advantage possible in any situation. This pumps up the stress in the cutscenes and interpersonal conflicts, because you know that any of the resistance fighters is one mistake away from being gone, permanently, and Wolfenstein is not afraid to let them die.
Each fight in Doom is also calculated, but in a very different way. Where Wolfenstein has you ducking between cover, sprinting for resources, and silently taking out enemies, Doom abandons any pretense of restraint. Doom gives you two meaty fists, a Super Shotgun, and tells you to go the fuck at it.
Thereâs no cover in Doom. There are resources scattered throughout levels, but theyâre rare. The best way to get resources in Doom is the best way to get anything done in Doom- kill. Specifically, chainsaw kills generate an obscene amount of ammo, and Glory Kills generate an obscene amount of health. Where Wolfensteinâs combat is âI need to keep away from my enemies and gather resources so I can make it out of this.â Doomâs is âI need to get up close and brutally kill, so I can get more resources which enable me to brutally kill.â
Doomâs story is decent, as far as an excuse to kill. Thereâs a colony on Mars channeling Hell Energy, and theyâve summoned a bunch of demons, so stop all the demons. The most interesting parts come later, in the slow reveal of the lore behind DoomGuy, but thatâs a little scarce for me. I had a hard time caring about the ongoings of Mars, but the lore in Hell really interested me. Maybe thatâs because I was raised Christian, and Doomâs lore sits solidly in âHell is Fucked Up And Kinda Coolâ without crossing over into Danteâs Inferno territory of âHell Is Fucked Up Because of All The Torture Of Innocent People, For Which You Are Complicit.â
Doom suffers from the problem that most games with kill animations have, where after a little while youâve seen every pre-rendered kill animation and start to get bored with them. Doom is at itâs best when youâre rippinâ and tearinâ, so some of the more environmental, exploration type segments are a little boring at best, and frustratingly unintuitive at worst. Thatâs an issue the game stumbles over a little in the first half, especially in the Foundry, but once it picks up it really picks up, and the latter half of the game never really trips up the same way.
Doom is an homage to every fast-paced shooter Iâve ever loved, and a worthy one at that. I cannot wait to see how it ends, and I cannot wait for Doom Eternal.
I first played Shadow of the Colossus on the PS2, on a fat model my older siblings owned. I would've been 9 years old when it came out in 2005, and for all I know that's how old I was when I first played it. I was old enough to understand the game, but certainly not old enough to beat it. I vividly remember beating that first colossus again and again, irritated that I couldn't get further. I would later repeat this process with the first two God of War games, the first Ratchet & Clank, and countless other PS2 and GameCube games. I'd ask one of my older siblings to help me beat the second colossus, but I wouldn't be able to beat the third colossus either, and eventually my ever-gentle siblings would suggest I move on to something else.
I'm happy to report that a full 13 years later, I've beaten Shadow of the Colossus. The game has a reputation akin to Ocarina of Time or Mario 64 as one of gaming's "must plays", and now I get why. It delivers an experience unlike any game I've ever played, and words truly don't do it justice- Shadow of the Colossus genuinely must be played. It won't always be fun, or even good- but if you stick with it you will be rewarded.
Let's start with the bad. Besides from the graphical overhaul, not much is different here- for better and for worse. That means that, like the originals, the puzzle design for the colossi are extremely hit-or-miss. Colossi 3 through 8 are frankly phenomenal, but the 11th and 14th colossi can stunlock and kill you if you're not careful, and the 12th is painfully, miserably unintuitive.
Shadow of the Colossus is a remastered PS2 game, and nowhere does it show more than the game's controls. You still have to hold R2 to hold on to anything, and the jumping-while-holding mechanics are still entirely unreliable, making many climbing sections, especially the last colossus frustrating.
All puzzles have two parts- solving the puzzle itself, and implementing your solution. The best puzzle games make this a seamless transition- figuring out what you needed to do and then adjusting should only take moments, or should be accomplished slowly as you work the solution out like a Sudoku. A frustrating puzzle game makes the second part difficult- a game like Song of the Deep, where the struggle isn't solving the puzzle, but making the game's mechanics do what they're supposed to. Unfortunately, the AI in Shadow of the Colossus often fall into this category, and a lot of your time will be spent just waiting for the colossi to work even after you've figured it out.
You really shouldnât let that put you off, though. What works about Shadow of the Colossus really, really, works. The good colossi are good- 4, 5, and 7 are fucking unforgettable, and the story really surprised me. I remembered it being relatively unremarkable, but I was apparently an idiot, because it's genuinely exceptional. The ending to this game is absolutely riveting, all the way from the last colossus to the credits.
Shadow of the Colossus is fucking beautiful. The PS4 version was rebuilt from the ground up for the console, and it shows. The drab brown grass and thick dishwater sky of the PS2 and PS3 versions have been replaced with vibrant, gorgeous greens and beauteous swirling blues and greys. It also, thank the heavens, includes a photo mode- meaning every gorgeous moment can be obsessively detailed and journaled, even if I was usually too engrossed in a fight to do so. (I fucking /love/ photo modes. If only having one save slot is a cardinal sin, then a photo mode is a saint-worthy virtue.)
Without spoiling too much, Iâll be measuring every single final boss against that last colossus until I die. The constant weaving and dodging to approach it like a man in the trenches (like the hill-climb in The Thin Red Line), the myriad of different ways to make the initial climb, the hopping between weak points. That colossus is so visually stunning and brilliantly designed, and the whole fight is so much more powerful book-ended by the gameâs best two moments, story wise. The firebolts, the thundering rainstorm, all of it- that fight is perfection.
You should play Shadow of the Colossus. You donât have to love it- there were plenty of moments where I didnât, and Iâd totally understand if the wobbly controls and irritating AI ruined it for you- but you should play it. It promises an experience no other game does, and then, most importantly, it fucking delivers.
Itâs been a shitty, shitty month. Iâm getting evicted, we got into a car accident, the new insurance has my girlfriend confused for someone with a horrible speeding ticket record, and my little brother, who is learning to drive, has started hiding the car keys for some reason.
I have a tendency to hoard media. During my first year of college I was extremely depressed and contemplating suicide when I read a piece of advice- find something to look forward to, and youâll never do it. So I started hoarding comics- I think I have 180 GBs of comics on my computer- and movies.
Well, at some point during July things got so bad I started burning through my movies. Iâm not sure exactly how many I watched, but...itâs a lot. This is going to be long.Â
(I have since stopped watching multiple movies a day, and gone back to semi normal movie watching habits.)
Tampopo: I think I technically watched this in June and forgot, but I love it. Tampopo is a âfood westernâ about a group of food enthusiasts helping a young woman perfect her ramen restaurant. Tampopo has lots of smaller vignettes about how food affects our lives, and the result is lovely and comforting and meditative. Tampopo is excellent, and manages to have one of the best opening scenes to a movie Iâve ever seen.
The Exterminating Angel: This was my first movie by Luis Bunuel, and I loved it. This kind of supernaturalish, surreal horror really really works for me. Plus, the rich suffer, which is always nice. This movie is really wonderful, plus the behind-the-scenes stuff on the blu-ray was super interesting. Apparently to make the actors more uncomfortable in the scene, Bunuel would rub honey all over their arms. Nasty.
The Fisher King: My second Gilliam movie. Better than Jabberwocky, but I still wouldnât call it good. Robin Williams was excellent as always, but I felt like Jeff Bridges was playing half a character. It had some touching scenes, but overall kind of forgettable. I donât think Iâll be seeking out Gilliam anymore.
Badlands: I try not to judge directors on their first movie, but Badlands really comes out in Malickâs favor. This is as wonderful a movie about a serial killer as Iâm likely to ever see. Itâs like a landscape painting with characters. It manages to never be slow or drag despite long flowing scenes. Iâm still thinking about Badlands more than a month later, and that says a lot.
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine: This is a really interesting game. WWTLW has one of the most unique mechanics Iâve ever seen in a video game, and the process of watching your stories grow and evolve is so, so cool. I wish the overworld map wasnât so barren, and that the sprinting mechanic wasnât such a pain, but beyond that this game is excellent. The writing here is top-notch.
Eraserhead: Iâd technically seen this before, but I was half asleep so Iâm counting it. Eraserhead is obviously good- itâs film history for a reason- but on a second viewing Iâm struck by just how impressive the visual storytelling is. The dialogue in this movie could fit on half a page, but thereâs still so so much to it. You need to see this at least once.
Frances Ha: âFrustrating, but enjoyableâ seems to be Baumbachâs general ouvre, and Frances Ha is no exception. Still, I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Frances is likable, even when sheâs fucking up, which is more than I can say for her life partner Sophie. For as much time as Frances spends making mistakes, itâs really lovely and warm to see things come together for her in the end. Worth a watch, especially at an hour and fifteen minutes.
The Thin Red Line: Jesus christ, this movie is so long. Itâs two hours and forty minutes long, and nothing of worth happens after the forty minute mark. Itâs a war movie that manages to be beautiful and haunting, which would be impressive if it didnât just fucking drag. I might watch this again and just turn it off at two hours, honestly.
Days of Heaven: I wanted this to be better than Thin Red Line and it was. Days of Heaven brings Malickâs landscape painter sensibility to labor in the 20th century, and the result is genuinely fantastic. The visuals here are stunning, even if the story is a little lacking- my biggest frustration is that most of the story events take place in the third act, like Days of Heaven is the first part in a series of novels that doesnât exist.
Fat Girl: I get what this movie was trying to do. I understand the metaphor for how dangerous it is to be a woman. I get it, and I can respect it, but fuck do I hate this movie. I just donât wanna watch 2 hours of a young fat girl getting shit on by her family, interspersed with rape scenes. Iâm not interested in that, no matter how pretty itâs shot.
Mary and the Witchâs Flower: I watched this as a palate cleanser after Fat Girl, and it served that purpose just fine. Itâs an okay movie on itâs own, but in the shadow of the rest of Ghibli it kind of pales. The animation and visuals are as phenomenal as ever, but the story is a little all over the place. Definitely still enjoyable, but sort of middling.
Sounds of Summer by Ten Toes Spumoni: If weâre Facebook friends, youâve probably already seen me talk about this album. Itâs been on repeat around here pretty much since it came out. Ten Toes Spumoni is a good friend of mine, and I genuinely believed nothing he made would top Journal of Hypnosis, but Sounds of Summer blows it out of the fuckin water. Throw a few bucks his way, because he deserves it.
Hannah Gadsbyâs Nanette: This is a standup comedy act that isnât particularly funny. Itâs amazing, and full of toothed commentary on the world and LGBT issues, but it isnât funny. Itâs heavy, and hard to watch, and worth the trouble. I think this is one of the few things I gave 5 stars this month, and it deserves it.
Wizard of Legend: A big part of watching movies for me this month has been finding the perfect roguelike to play while I watch movies. I eventually settled on Gungeon, but Wizard of Legend was a strong contender too. Itâs roguelike elements are really enjoyable, and finding the perfect combination of spells is fun, but resources are a little too scarce for my liking.
My Own Private Idaho: I loved this movie more than I expected to, and I knew Iâd like it. My Own Private Idaho offers an exceptionally gay take on modern Shakespeare, and River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves are absolutely phenomenal here. The interview segments are a little hard to watch, but the rest of the movie is beautiful and sad and lovely. One of my favorites in a long time.
Coco: Similar to Witchâs Flower, I thought this was fine. The music is wonderful, and the animation is beautiful, but the story is a little lacking, especially towards the third act. I think Pixar forgot how to write villains that arenât just âgood guyâs been bad the whole timeâ. Hell, even Incredibles 2 did it.Those complaints aside, Coco is really enjoyable and well worth your time.
The Spirit of the Beehive: A meditation on childhood, the Spanish civil war, early film, and Frankenstein. I enjoyed thinking about this movie later more than I actually enjoyed watching it, I think. Itâs a little slow, but the third act picks up and wraps the story up nicely. Definitely watch Huellas De Un Espiritu if you watch it, it adds a lot of context which helps the movie out.
Simon Of The Desert: Short movies are nice when youâre watching three a day, so I really appreciated Simon Del Desiertoâs 45 minute runtime. Itâs both less surreal and funnier than I expected- Simon Del Desierto feels more like Monty Python than Jabberwocky did. Highly recommended.
Cronos: A little disappointing, Iâm not gonna lie. Iâm a huge Del Toro fan, so I was really excited to watch his first movie, but it left me lukewarm. He describes it as a vampire film, but it takes a long time to find itâs legs. Worth the watch just for Ron Perlman and the scene where a little girl breaks his nose.
The Devilâs Backbone: This is what I wanted Cronos to be. A Del Toro twist on gothic romance and ghost story, Devilâs Backbone is as unsettling as it is charming. The kids in this movie are exceptional actors, and the script sells their childhood so, so well.
The Adventure Zone: Here There Be Gerblins: I didnât expect too much from the graphic novel of TAZâs first arc, but it really surprised me. Carey Pietschâs art is just cartoony enough to bely the adult humor in the series, and the characters have been deftly adapted. The first arc in the podcast suffers a lot from âpregen syndromeâ, where Taako and Merle werenât super fleshed out, but the graphic novel rights the ship really well.
Black Girl: At 59 minutes, Black Girl is well worth your time mostly for how angry itâll make you. Black Girl tells the story of a Senegalese woman who is deceived into becoming a house maid for a rich French woman, and the sheer amount of bullshit she puts up with before losing it makes her a saint in my eyes. I enjoyed this movie a lot, and Iâm excited to see more African cinema.
A Hat In Time: Iâve played the shit out of this game and it never gets old. A Hat in Time is as charming as charming gets, and it perfectly recreates the feeling of playing Mario Sunshine for the first time. Only, you know, Hat in Time is fun.
Pony Island: Pony Island is one of those games thatâs just a little too short- not because it feels rushed, but because I wished there was more when it ended. Itâs a little cheesy in places, and the dialogue is a little slow, but the puzzles are perfectly scaled and the sense of humor is really great.
Styx: Shards of Darkness: This game might be good. I donât know. The main characterâs dialogue was so shitty I only played about 40 minutes of it. Imagine the mechanic in Jak & Daxter where Daxter makes fun of you when you die, but they got the writers from Family Guy really drunk and had them write it and never told them no.
I know, I said Gungeon was my last for the month. But in my hour of need, someone up above looked down on me, and smiled, and then leaked the new WarioWare game.
âBut Holly!â I hear you saying, your voice coming from somewhere in my pipes. âYou shouldnât download a leaked game! Nintendo bans people for that, and thatâs not even considering the moral implications!â
Youâre right, strange pipe creature. You should not download leaked games for your 3DS, as Nintendo absolutely will ban you for it. It is perfectly safe for me to download them, however, as Nintendo has already banned me for it. I was one of the people banned back when Pokemon Moon leaked about a month in advance. I probably wouldnât have been caught but I was stupid and wonder traded. I did get a Shiny Ditto, though, so it was maybe worth it.
WarioWare: Gold largely sticks to the formula of the older WarioWare games. All the characters in Smooth Moves and Touched are back, with a memorable new addition in the form of a little girl named Lulu. Youâll recall in Touched that each character had their own âstyleâ of microgame- Ashleyâs were focused on dragging things along the touch screen, 9 & 18 Volt were focused on older Nintendo games. Similarly, each character in Smooth Moves introduced a new âStanceâ with a comical instructional photo. Gold retains this, but streamlines it helpfully; there are only 3 genres of microgame: Touch, Mash, and Tilt. Tilt involves tilting the screen left and right and occasionally pressing A, Mash focuses on the d-pad and the A button, and Touch uses the touch screen. Similarly, the characters are divided into these categories. Ashley is a Tilt, 9-Volt is a Touch, and 18-Volt is a Mash.
If that sounds simple, it is. Youâll never press B, or L and R in any of the modes. (Which I was happy about, as my 3DS is old as shit and the R button is long broken) Touch will never require a tilt, and Mash will never require a touch. This is a welcome clarity in WarioWare, as older titles have had their fair share of confusing microgames.
Which is certainly not to say those are absent from Gold, but they are significantly fewer. A few of the microgames are unintuitive, like one which tasks you to thread the eye of a needle but which will not allow you to move either the thread or needle in favor of the hand holding the needle. Some also feel unfair the first time you play them, like one which tasks you with punching water droplets out of the air, only the punch has about half a second wind up so youâre dealing with an unexpected delay. These clumsy steps are few and far between though, and after about 5 hours of Gold those two are the only ones that stick out. Plus, Gold has an index of microgames, where you can repeat ad nauseum any that are giving you trouble with additional instructions. I found this to be a really helpful tool for figuring out how to work specific games.
My biggest frustration about the game is that there is apparently a fourth category of microgame called Blow which uses the 3DS mic, but this is the only category to be entirely absent from the campaign...right up until they start combining categories, at which point you better figure it out. Luckily, itâs fairly straight forward.
Thereâs loads of new microgames, too. Some of my favorites return- the driving from Smooth Moves, the gliding Wind Waker Link to a post. But thereâs plenty of new games to enjoy, like one where you shake up enemies in Mario Makerâs stage construction to change them, or one where you slide a virtual Joy-Con into a virtual Switch. I also really enjoyed seeing how old ones have changed- the microgame where you unroll a roll of toilet paper from way back in Touched now has a âHey! Donât waste paper!â at the bottom of the screen when you finish it. Itâs not a huge change, but it made me smile.
WarioWare: Gold also features, for the first time, a campaign. Itâs pretty short, I beat it in about 3 hours, but itâs a welcome addition to the game. The cutscenes framing each character are adorable, and the full voice acting is a nice touch. I was worried about Ashley or 9-Volt sounding different than they do in my head, but the voice actors all nailed it. The dialogue is rarely forced, which is more than I can say for most video games. There are obvious highlights, however: a cat sitting on Jimmy Pâs head for his cutscene, and an absolutely adorable bit right before the final boss where everyone but Wario is at a potluck playing cards.
Beating the campaign unlocks Challenges, which offer a step up in difficulty and unique gameplay mechanics. The most memorable one Iâve done so far is Wario Interrupts, wherein Wario will do his damnedest to stop you from beating the microgames in various ways. Heâll toss up giant wine glasses which obscure your vision, and have to be tilted away, or faces on balloons which are only popped after mashing specific buttons. In general, these meta-microgames use an opposite control scheme to the microgame at hand, which adds an extra layer of difficulty without being clunky or frustrating.
WarioWare: Gold also features the time-honored video game tradition of Missions- complete specific tasks, earn money. These are mostly things like âEarn a score of 35 on Jimmyâs levelâ or âUnlock 10 Moviesâ- a combination of rewards for things youâd do just by playing the game, and missions which encourage you to go back and play other levels you might not have returned to otherwise.
Gold has WarioWare charm in spades. Thereâs a toy which, if you scan an amiibo, will have Wario draw a crude sketch of that character and a fancy-schmancy art critic will review his drawing. Of course, scanning a Wario amiibo results in a beautiful anime portrait. Thereâs a Studio section in the Arcade, which will allow you to record your own voiceover for the in-game cutscenes using the 3DS microphone. I donât know why you would want to, but you can, and thatâs frankly absurd. Can you imagine the comedy gold we could have if The Last of Us or Kingdom Hearts had this feature?
These small additions add a lot of replay value. I was satisfied in Smooth Moves just by playing the game, but Gold really goes out of itâs way to keep you interested, and I can appreciate that.
I had high hopes for WarioWare: Gold, but it really delivered. It has more microgames than any other in the series, and far fewer clunky missteps than some of the old ones. This is as rewarding or fluid a WarioWare game as weâre ever going to see- and thatâs for the best, as this is likely the last one weâll get for a long time, if ever.
