When I was a kid, maybe 14 or so (which is, you know, 20+ years ago), I belonged to a Yahoo! mailing list for an anime called Gundam Wing. It was mostly populated by other teens, of varying ages, as it was started by a teen and her friends. Eventually it migrated, when Yahoo! groups started as forums, and even branched off into non-GW related stuff in a second forum.
One of the things I remember the most clearly is the oldest person in the group. Her name was Steelsong. She was a 40-something Dom with a sub whose name we knew even though we knew nothing else. She ran her own fanfic archive because the web was still handmade HTML and navigated in webrings and I’m pretty sure Google didn’t exist or was only barely, barely launched and not well known. She was kind and patient and we loved her. She treated everyone on the group with the respect given any adult, even though most of the rest of the world was still treating us like we were children. Not teenagers even, but children. She never once condescended to any of us, never made our youth a barrier to her respect, never treated us like we were incapable of being full people or like we were less than her because we were young.
I remember that she hosted our fanfiction, as absolutely terrible as it was (and I still have some of it, I am WELL aware of how cringingly terrible it is, just absolute nonsense garbage), right there alongside of other fic that was soul-achingly beautiful. Not a separate section for her friends or for kids, just right there like we were good enough to feature alongside other authors. I never once received crit from her that I didn’t ask for, only support. Only love. I am still writing today partly because Steel was so kind about our fic, fanfic and original.
I remember that when I started doing clay sculpture, she commissioned a tiny pair of dragons from me, to support me doing artwork. She sent a check my mom cashed for me, and my mom helped me mail it when it was finished. It broke in transit, and Steel assured me that she mended it and that it was still beautiful. It was a small gold dragon curled up with a small silver dragon.
I remember that her patience knew no bounds. I remember that she was there for us, regardless of reason. When we wanted to know silly things like what to do with a single AA battery, she answered. When we had serious questions about sex, she answered. When we had questions about writing, she taught us. When one of our group members, a young gay teen in Australia, ended up in the hospital and then stopped making posts, and we all knew what had happened, she let us talk to her about it because we couldn’t go to our own parents, even though we had just lost a friend.
She was not a replacement to my parents, but she was an extra parent, in some ways. A friend, certainly, but someone that had been through more life than we had and was willing to pass on knowledge if we asked for it. Someone older that we trusted with things that were too uncomfortable to go to our parents or teachers or whatever about, because we already knew she wasn’t going to judge us or something, and that we would get an honest answer.
I don’t know why I’m remembering this so hard tonight, and I’m not sure if there’s a point to sharing this, except that I know she’s gone now. She was ill the last time we spoke, and her site went down a long time ago, and I miss her. She was a huge influence on my life, then and now. She was hope, for me, that life as an adult didn’t have to be boring, it wouldn’t have to mean giving up the things I loved and Becoming Only Responsible With No Fun. Her presence meant I had hope I could still write and play with friends even when I wasn’t ‘a kid’ anymore. And she’s gone, and I miss her, and I wanted to share her from the perspective of youth, and the perspective over twenty years later has provided me.
And I think of her, when people go off about older folks being in fandom with younger folks. I’m an older folks now, or at least middle aged folks because there are certainly folks older than me still, but I wasn’t always. I’ve been here since i was a younger folks, and I know how much Steel’s presence and support meant to me, how much she helped not just me but everyone on that group. And I think of the people saying older folks don’t belong in fandom, and that they shouldn’t interact with younger folks at all, and I just think… I can’t agree. I needed that kind of solid presence in my life back then and even at the age I am now, I need the folks older than me to stay. I want them here.
So I guess, like, if you’re here and you’re 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or whatever, I want you here in fandom with me, still. Your presence here is a comfort. It is hope. It is a reminder that life will continue to be fun, even as I get older, myself. And if you’re younger and you have this sort of elder in your groups, I hope that they are like Steel. I hope they are kind and patient and supportive, and that knowing them gives you hope for your own future. I hope in twenty years you look back and remember them fondly.
Warnings: Suggestive content, inappropriate for minors, but no out right smut. We’ll get to that next week. Only appropriate for 18+ readers. No minors. Foul language, angst from the reader. Mentions of virginity. Discussion of cheating, which was committed by the reader’s ex-boyfriend.
My Masterlist
Previous Chapter:
The Princess and the Lawyer - Part I
Part II
“This is Lloyd. Lloyd Hansen.”
Aiden’s expression was a blend of disgust and irritation.
The lapse in conversation extended into an uncomfortable silence. Confronted with the spectacle of you and Lloyd, wrapped in such an intimate embrace, Aiden crossed his arms and rocked on his heels. The awkwardness hanging over the table thickened.
You ground your teeth. What did Aiden expect? He’d broken up with you by text. He had no legitimate complaint to lodge in this situation. You were free to do whatever you wanted, with whoever you chose. He could go kick rocks.
“How do you two know each other?” Lloyd asked.
Aiden flushed. “I’m her boyfriend!”
“Ex-boyfriend!”
He shot you a look that read: ‘stay out of this.’ Rage blurred your vision. Your hand twitched toward your leftover silverware. Boyfriend? The bastard was going to die. Your violent impulse was disrupted by a firm grip on your wrist. Lloyd snagged your arm before you could grasp a weapon. He adjusted his grip to cradle your hand in a nonchalant manner. He drew it to his chest and held it against his heart. His thumb caressed the back of your knuckles. The action might have been a sweet gesture, if he hadn’t been pinning your hand down.
Lloyd nodded, as if he’d just recalled. “Right, is it… Aiden? Nice to finally meet you, kid.”
The younger man’s eyes flashed at the last word. His mouth puckered as if he’d bitten a lemon.
“I bet you two were fooling around the whole time. It would have been nice to know about the competition. I wouldn’t have spent so much time wondering why you never seemed very interested in me.”
“I never seemed interested? You canceled two of our dates at the last minute!”
“Work stuff came up,” Aiden said.
“Really? What kind of work stuff comes up Friday night at eleven?”
“How can you expect me to go clubbing when I have a huge international project depending on me? The National Bank of France was installing our software and…”
Aiden broke off when Lloyd roared with laughter.
“Eleven on a Friday night for us would mean your client was up at the crack of dawn. French bankers up at the crack of dawn? On a Saturday? I’ll send the devil a snow shovel.”
“It was a very important update, and they didn’t want it to impact services. Cyber security is the most essential-”
Lloyd cut in. “Even more shocking would be the Bank of France relying on a third party software vendor. Let alone a company based in a foreign country, particularly since your organization doesn’t even have a branch in Paris. They actually have a law about it. Funnily enough, I advised them on that policy back when I lived there.”
The color drained from Aiden’s face, then returned as a furious glow. His eyes shot to you and he sneered.
“Feel free to work out your daddy issues by fucking old guys, if that’s what gets you off. But you don’t need to date other people in the meantime. They just get hurt in the crossfire.”
Lloyd snickered.
“Seriously? You’re going to waltz past that bald faced lie without explanation? No, go ahead. Accuse her of cheating when that blonde has been pawing at you all night.”
Your chin jerked up, silently echoing the challenge. Aiden shuffled his feet. He didn’t say anything and Lloyd took the opportunity to attack again.
“This little fit you’re throwing is coming off as projection. So, I have to ask, how long have you and that girl been screwing around?”
“She’s just a friend.”
The words came out in a rush. He hadn’t even hesitated. Goosebumps broke out on your skin. Cheaters always lied the same way. You’d seen it hundreds of times as a legal researcher. A prepared statement had a staccato tempo about it, but the real give away was the reaction time. If Aiden had given a full confession on the spot, it wouldn’t have made you this certain. His too quick response had turned your thoughts from theory to fact.
Lloyd swelled, his chest lifting on a deep breath. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his expression change. Aiden’s eyes widened and he lurched a step back.
The reaction could hardly be held against him. It wasn’t normal to see someone turn cold in a split second. Like a horror movie villain, Lloyd could wipe the emotion off his face as if flipping a switch. The phenomenon sent people reeling. It left the impression that, maybe, all his emotions were a performance. Even you found the display unsettling - and you knew it was an act.
He smiled. No one could bastardize a polite smile into utter menace the way Lloyd could.
His hand moved to your hip, spreading his long fingers over your waist. Aiden’s eyes flicked between you and Lloyd. He glanced towards the door. Then he refocused on you. Something like concern flashed over his face.
Lloyd winked at the younger man.
“Okay. Sure. The blonde is ‘just a friend.’ I’ll file that one into the same folder as the Bank of France’s cyber security installation hinging on the work of an entry level programer in Virginia. Which, logically, was occurring at five a.m. on a Saturday.”
His voice was light and playful. The amusement had turned back on, but with too much animation. Aiden looked disoriented by the wild swing in mood.
Lloyd continued. “Now, listen. I’m not a serial liar so you can take my word on this. Nothing improper happened between me and Y/N.”
You leaned into him as Aiden’s eyes cut to you, hoping to plant a seed of doubt. His brow was furrowed, suggesting he still hadn’t gotten his equilibrium back after Lloyd’s labile display.
“I’m just comforting her after your sudden break up. And just a tip, buddy, real men don’t break things off with a text. But don’t worry. She’s in… better hands than yours.”
Lloyd’s lips ghosted over your temple. The action was carelessly casual. You saw suspicion flicker in Aiden’s eyes.
“She’s very resilient,” Lloyd added.
“Yeah. Already on the rebound.”
Your lip curled. “What’s there to rebound from? We barely even dated.”
“We were together for five months,” Aiden said.
“Right. Six dates in five months. You weren’t interested enough to make time.”
“Mr. Hansen, is everything okay?” Song-Li appeared beside the table, his face lined with concern. He glanced between the men, raising an eyebrow when neither spoke.
“No problem here?” the host asked.
“We’re good,” Lloyd said. “The kid didn’t mean any harm, he’s just a little emotional. Say, is your party room still invite only?”
“Yes, of course, Mr. Hansen. We always have an invitation for you.”
“Great. My friend and I could use some privacy.”
Aiden was rigid as the host turned to him.
“Sir, it appears your table is missing you. Why don’t you rejoin them?”
You looked over and saw that Song-Li was correct. The group was staring, their attention rapt on your querulous discussion. Your eyes connected with the blonde’s and she quickly turned away.
“What’s the party room?” Aiden asked.
“It's an invitation-only space,” Song-Li said. “Rejoin your table.”
Aiden’s jaw clenched, but he stalked away. He didn’t even look in your direction.
Lloyd took your hand and led you down the back hallway of the restaurant. Your mind was starting to process what had just happened. The anger that had propelled you through the altercation faded and your hand began to shake.
At the elevator bank, Lloyd pressed the down button. You studied the sleek doors and high priced brand name. How did a mid-priced Chinese restaurant pay for such an addition? Lloyd squeezed your quivering hand.
“You okay, Princess?”
“Yeah.”
The tremor in your grip wouldn’t stop. He reached out, drawing you into a firm hug.
“Really?”
Lloyd didn’t usually show this much affection. You realized that your meltdown this afternoon must have scared him. Taking advantage of the circumstances, you folded yourself into his arms. His forearms came to rest in the small of your back and the pressure felt delicious.
“I feel rattled. Kind of bitter, too. If I hadn’t seen them together tonight, I’d have never suspected a thing.”
Behind you, the elevator chimed to announce its arrival. Lloyd straightened up.
“Where are we going?” you asked.
“To the real entertainment.”
He chuckled at your curious expression.
“What’s the real entertainment?”
Lloyd winked. “I promise you’ll love it.”
The car descended several floors, then stopped. You stepped out into a marble tiled foyer. It was a long, narrow space, with huge carved doors at the end where two beefy men stood sentry. Lloyd tucked you against his side and gave the guards a short nod. Without a word, they opened the doors. A huge room was revealed. Plush red carpet cushioned your footsteps as you followed Lloyd into the space. Then you saw why he’d been so sure you would love it down here.
Gaming tables were organized into neat sections around the room. To your left were craps tables. In the far corner a roulette wheel spun. Tables for blackjack and baccarat were divided into distinct areas. At the very back of the casino, poker dealers in white shirts manned their stations. Patrons swarmed the room in clothing more suited to a nightclub than a mid-price Chinese restaurant. You admired an iridescent mini-dress on a sharp featured brunette. Her date wore a button down with three buttons left undone to reveal his chest. They were walking towards the poker table. You took a step off the carpeted path to follow them and Lloyd caught you by the waist.
“No. We’re not staying.”
He ushered you ahead so he could herd you through the maze of tables.
“Why not?”
“Because you’d play poker. And you’d lose, which would make you try again, and again, until I dragged you away.”
“That was only one time!”
“We nearly missed our flight out of Vegas because of you.”
“I need to practice so I can get better. It’s a game of skill. How do you get an invitation to this place? Does Song-Li charge a fee or something?”
“You’re not allowed down here. I’m blacklisting you as soon as I get the chance.”
You spared the poker tables a wistful glance as Lloyd dragged you through another door.
This room was even darker than the casino. Pulsing colored lights spun, illuminating a dance floor and bar. The nightclub attire you’d seen before suddenly made sense. Lloyd set off towards a velvet roped area. From the privacy screen walls and guard, you assumed this was the VIP area. Lloyd guided you down a narrow hall so dark it reminded you of being in a movie theater. He stopped and pulled open a heavily frosted sliding door. On the other side of the glass was an area the size of a cubicle. A built in L-shaped leather seat spanned one side and the back of the booth. There was a coffee table with LED lights glowing through the plastic surface. It complimented the dim chandelier that cast a warm glow around the room. You stepped inside with Lloyd. He pushed the door part way closed.
Lloyd wrapped his arm around your shoulders when you sat down. You curled into him and he frowned.
“You’re still shaking, Princess.”
“Huh? Oh.”
Flexing your fingers, you tried to stop the tremors.
“I feel like such an idiot. And I didn’t even get the chance to sleep with him!”
Lloyd’s eyebrows arched. “Isn’t that a good thing?”
“No!”
Your voice turned shrill and you buried your face in your hands. Tears rushed back to the surface. Aiden was an asshole, but you’d had chemistry with him. You’d needed him to take your virginity and now that would never happen. One more disaster in the string of unfortunate events that had kept you in your current condition. Soon, you’d be the only twenty-four year old virgin in the state.
“Trust me, you wouldn’t enjoy being underneath that douche bag for very long.”
Lloyd’s arrogant comment raised your hackles. Who did he think he was to judge Aiden’s sexual abilities so quickly?
“We had chemistry!”
“He’s a minute man. Too much self focus. Showing up late to your dates, taking on a job in another country on a split second’s notice… Yeah. That guy is only thinking about his own experience. He’s a twenty-six year old, looking out for number one. Wait ten years, see if he matures - then give him a whirl.”
This was more logical of an argument than you’d expected. He might have a point. Perhaps it was time to get a male perspective on your issue.
“I wanted to sleep with him. Now that he’s out of the running, I don’t exactly have a replacement lined up. At this point I’d settle for almost anyone. Where does a girl find a hookup in this town?”
Lloyd made a face. “With that attitude, you should go home and use your battery operated friend. You won’t end up with a good guy.”
You drew your knees up and turned so they rested on Lloyd’s thigh.
“I’m running out of batteries, okay? I don’t need a boyfriend, but I’m sick of toys. I need the real thing.”
“Why are you telling me this?!”
“Because. I need your advice.”
“Your generation uses apps, or so I hear.”
“Ew. No. They’re filled with creeps.”
Lloyd smirked. “You’re looking for a fuck buddy. Who cares if he’s a creep?”
“I need to be attracted to him. And furthermore, I’m not just taking some random man home!”
“Oh, good. You’re using your last two brain cells. I figured they’d all been consumed by hormones. Are you ovulating or something?”
You winced, and shook your head.
“No.”
He patted your knee, stroking the exposed skin. Taking a hold of his thick arm, you curled your hands around his bicep, hugging it to your chest. Whiskey still buzzed in your veins and when Lloyd reciprocated by sliding closer, you were even more comfortable with the gesture you’d made. His arm was heavy and comfortingly strong. You enjoyed the warmth of his skin, left bare by his rolled up shirt sleeve.
He pressed a soft kiss to the side of your head.
“What’s this about? Why are you so upset over that dickwad? You’re better off without him.”
“If he’d slept with me, I wouldn’t be this upset.”
“What the hell is it with you and getting fucked?”
“Pay attention. The lack of fucking is the problem here. I have to recruit another candidate, screen for chemistry, and then choose a time and place. I hate being a woman. Why can’t I just walk up to a man and seduce him? Isn’t that how guys do it? I’ve considered it, trust me. But I just can’t hook up with a random stranger.”
Lloyd grunted. The noise communicated a wealth of disapproval. You kept rambling, far too drunk to know when to shut up.
“It’s not emotional. I swear, it’s not. My vibrator is a poor substitute for the real thing. I need a live, human male, in my bed, on top of me. I can’t die a virgin!”
You threw your head back and sniffled away tears. Damn Aiden to hell. He didn’t deserve this kind of emotion. It was a double dose of humiliation to cry over him. More alcohol would soothe the pain.
“I need another glass of whatever you had upstairs. I’m not nearly drunk enough for how awful tonight has been. Are there servers down here?”
Lloyd’s expression was intent.
“What the hell did you just say?”
“Oh, don’t be so judgemental. If I want another drink, I’ll have it.”
“I’m sorry, Princess… I just wasn’t expecting…”
He trailed off, looking uncharacteristically at a loss for words. Lloyd slid his free arm around your waist and drew you close. He took a breath, and as he was starting to speak, a man with a tray passed by the open door. You shot up from Lloyd’s arms and waved him down. Once he’d taken your order, Lloyd jerked the door shut behind him.
You sighed, reclining into Lloyd’s shoulder.
“Thank goodness for alcohol, right?”
You expected Lloyd to chuckle, but he was silent. Looking up, you met his intense gaze. A shiver of nervous awareness ran down your spine. His eyes dropped to your lips for a split second then returned to yours.
“You’re a virgin.”
Horror washed through you as you realized what had slipped out during your drunken tirade.
“Oh, crap.”
Covering your eyes, you shrank away from him.
“I cannot believe I told you that! Shit. Let’s make a deal. You forget what I said, and I’ll be eternally in your debt.”
You peaked out from behind your fingers to gauge his reaction. Lloyd took hold of your wrists. He drew your hands down from your face and moved closer. Still mortified, you backed away. Lloyd followed. Your shoulders hit the padded seat on the far wall as you ran out of space to retreat. Catching your legs, he lifted them into nearly the same position they’d been in at the restaurant. He draped them over his lap and let your knees bend slightly to accommodate his legs. This time, he left your feet up on the sofa, pausing to remove your low-heeled pumps.
“It’s okay. I’m not going to give you a hard time. You shocked me, that’s all. I’m glad the cat’s out of the bag. I couldn’t figure out why you were so intent on fucking that asshole. I was starting to wonder if you’d gone into heat or something.”
A buzzing sound made you jump and the sliding door opened. Lloyd took your drink from the waiter and swirled the amber liquid. He frowned.
“You ordered a double?”
“I’m determined to wipe tonight from my memory. Or at least make it very hazy.”
Lloyd set the glass on the far end of the coffee table, out of your reach.
“C’mon, I need that.”
“For your size, that drink will knock you right out of happy drunk and straight into sloppy drunk. Give it a minute, let your buzz go down.”
You pouted. “I’m an adult.”
“Alright, then. Let's have an adult conversation. Why are you still a virgin?”
“I can’t talk about this with you!”
“Why not? Because I’m a guy?”
“You’re an experienced guy who would never understand why I haven’t just… you know…”
“Spread your legs for some jackass?”
“Gross. But yeah. It’s not like I didn’t try! The guys I dated in high school were boring. Beyond having a date to prom or homecoming, I had no interest in them. It didn’t feel like a big deal to wait until college.”
“And then you finished your degree in three years. You were too busy to date,” Lloyd finished.
You nodded. “So now, I’m rapidly approaching twenty-four and my sexual experience amounts to heavy petting over clothes.”
Lloyd picked up your drink, leaned back, and took a deep swallow. He stared off into space as he considered your revelation.
“That’s probably not uncommon for women of your generation. You’re all so preoccupied with your cell phones and social media that you’re getting a later start on things than we did in my day.”
“How old were you when you lost it?”
“Seventeen, right after the junior prom.”
“I considered it, at my junior prom. Then my date got so drunk on spiked punch that I had to take him to the ER.”
“Damn. Were you planning on fucking him?”
“Not really, but I wasn’t opposed to the idea. If he’d made a pass, I would have seen how I felt in the moment.”
Lloyd handed you the glass. You took a swig of whiskey, then continued.
“It’s always been like that. I find someone I have chemistry with and then it gets ruined. Dylan fell down the stairs at junior prom, hence the ER visit. In college, Rodney got back together with his ex the same week I decided to sleep with him. Zach wasn’t my favorite option, but at that point I was almost ready to say, ‘screw it, let’s get this done.’ Then he was tackled during an intramural football game and had to spend months in rehab to recover from a mild spinal cord injury. Our relationship fizzled out and, well, you met Aiden. Moving to Saudi Arabia!”
You sighed. A lump swelled in your throat and you drank another painful swallow of whiskey to force it down. You laid your cheek on Lloyd’s shoulder.
“Am I cursed? I think I’m cursed.”
Lloyd shook his head. “You’re not on a schedule, Princess.”
“Really? If we were dating, and I told you I was a virgin, how would you react?”
“If you explained it like you just did, I’d think you were hard working, sensible, and had standards.”
“Wow. How could you resist jumping my bones with those kinds of adjectives rattling around in your head?”
Lloyd chuckled. He took the glass from you and sipped. You frowned.
“That’s mine.”
“You can have one more swallow. I don’t want you passing out on me.”
You took the glass and drank. It was only a small sip, but you didn’t give it back when Lloyd held out his hand.
“Do you have any hot friends who would help me out?”
He stiffened. “Princess, my friends are beneath you. Don’t even try it.”
“Really? I guess beggars can’t be choosers… if they’d prefer me on top, I’m game.”
“Princess. Don’t. Just keep your panties on and wait for the right guy.”
“Sure thing, Daddy.”
He grunted. “Why is this so important to you?”
“Because men don’t want virgins! They expect a woman my age to know what she likes and how to get it. I don’t want to be shy about sex, but it’s hard to be comfortable when you’re inexperienced. I need a good initiation to boost my confidence.”
Lloyd’s eyes flickered. “What qualifies as a good initiation?”
“Not what happened to my high school best friend, Autumn. Or Carrie. I had great hopes for my college roommate, but… also horrible.”
“What happened?”
“Autumn, you don’t even want to know. She’s still with the guy for reasons I’ll never wrap my head around. Carrie’s boyfriend lasted all of 40 seconds. Incredibly disappointing, since he was the captain of the football team. My roommate had an experience only slightly less horrifying than Autumn’s.”
“Which was…?”
“From what I gather, too much, too fast, with no lube. Natural or otherwise.”
Lloyd winced. “Ouch.”
“Exactly. She thought it had to hurt, and didn’t feel like she could slow things down. Which is why I decided I needed to date all of my potential candidates and get comfortable with them before anything happened. That’s the origin of the vetting process, actually.”
A silence fell and you took another sip of your drink.
“I should start chasing men of your age. Someone who knows what he’s doing. They’re probably less flaky than a guy like Aiden. What do you think?”
“I think you should wait for a nice boy, get married, and have his babies.”
“I’m not ready for that. I just want to have an orgasm that’s not self induced! Is that too difficult?”
He shifted, adjusting himself, and you felt a hardness under your leg. Breath caught in your lungs. Experience may not have been on your resume, but the tenting in his lap was unmistakable.
“If we’re going to talk about you getting fucked, I’m going to get a woody. It’s how men are built.”
You tossed back the rest of your drink and, fueled by liquid courage, reached for Lloyd’s shoulders. Catching them, you swung yourself up to straddle his lap. The movement rucked up your skirt and you wiggled your hips to raise it even higher. The thick ridge in his crotch nestled against your core, only hindered by the thin barrier of your cotton panties. His eyes dilated as you grasped his neck and covered his mouth with yours.
He tasted like ginger ale and something spicy. His lips were soft, but firm. A big hand settled on the back of your head and Lloyd thrust his tongue into your mouth. Eagerly, you parted your lips and stroked your tongue over his. He groaned. The heavy hand pressed your hips to slide you closer. A moan slipped out at the enticing friction. You couldn’t help but grind into him. He hissed and tilted his head, deepening the kiss. His mustache tickled your upper lip. Finally, Lloyd broke away. You both panted, clinging to each other, breathless after the intense embrace.
“Well, fuck. You know how to kiss.”
“Good enough to get you into bed?”
Lloyd pressed his forehead against yours and cupped your face. The rough pads of his thumbs stroked over your cheekbones.
“Do you want that?”
“Have I been unclear?”
You gripped his shoulders and kissed him, light and sweet. Lloyd rocked against you.
“You’re sure you want me to… how’d you put it? ‘Take care of your little problem?’“
“Is my lack of experience a turn off for you, too?”
Lloyd’s features darkened. “What? No, of course not. What the hell do you mean, for me too?”
“Nothing!”
Your denial was too fast and you could see him winding up for another question. To head him off, you kissed him.
Lloyd growled, his hand sliding under your hair to grip the back of your neck. You shivered at the sensual touch on sensitive skin, moaning when he licked at your lips. His tongue traced over your bottom lip before he nipped it with sharp teeth. You gasped. A hand delved under your skirt and up your thigh to stroke your bottom. You twitched in surprise, but loved his boldness.
“We work together. We shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Who else can I trust?” You asked, smoothing your hands over the broad slab of his muscular chest. “I should’ve asked you months ago.”
Lloyd’s eyes went hot.
“Fuck, don’t say things like that to me and then rub your wet panties over my crotch. I’ll come in my pants.”
“That’s what happened to my date at senior prom. I’d hardly even started making out with him.”
“I can’t blame the poor kid. Listen, I don’t want this to interrupt our working relationship. You’re my closest friend, Y/N. I’m not about to ruin that.”
“It wouldn’t ruin anything. You’d be helping me out with a problem. Nothing more.”
Lloyd grunted, running his hands over your legs. The touch was unmistakably possessive.
“You were only planning on the one time, then?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want Aiden to get the wrong idea.”
“What idea would that be?”
“He might have read more into it if I’d wanted to keep seeing him. I don’t believe in playing with people’s emotions.”
“Honey, he would have thought he didn’t meet your expectations. You’d have damaged his ego for life.”
“I didn’t think of that.”
Lloyd cupped your bottom, kneading the supple flesh.
“You’re sure about sleeping with me?”
“If you’re uncomfortable with it, we don’t have to…”
His hands tightened. “If it’s not me, you’ll find someone else. And I’m not okay with that.”
“You sound awfully possessive, Mr. Hansen.”
“I’m saying one night isn’t enough. If you want experience, I need a commitment.”
“A week?”
“You’ll be sore after your first time. A week would only get me two rounds. Maybe three.”
“You want more than that?”
“We could leave it open ended,” Lloyd suggested.
Your eyebrows arched. The liquor you’d drunk earlier was clouding your brain. Nonetheless, you tried to think the offer over. You couldn’t find a problem.
“I like that. I want experience.”
“We need to get you sobered up. Maybe we should wait until tomorrow.”
“No!” You were adamant on this point. “I want it to be tonight. I need to get it over with.”
Lloyd’s eyes narrowed. “Ah, the words every man longs to hear. You just want to get the deed done, rollover, and go to sleep.”
“Isn’t that what men want, too?”
“No. We want to enjoy and be enjoyed. It’s no fun if you don’t savor the foreplay.”
Your eyes widened at the edge of lust in his voice.
Warnings: Suggestive content, inappropriate for minors but no outright explicit writing. (18+ readers only. No minors.) Foul language, references to criminal activity, internal angst from the reader. Mentions of virginity. Implied cheating by the reader’s ex-boyfriend.
My Masterlist
Part I
“Why are you crying?”
You wiped away the tears and turned so the man darkening your door couldn’t see your wet cheeks.
“I’m not.”
Your ragged breath and trembling voice said otherwise.
Lloyd Hansen strode into your office and came around the desk. He propped himself on the edge, crossed his ankles and reclined back, studying you from his towering height. He shoved his hands in his pockets and regarded your poorly concealed distress.
“Bullshit.”
You sniffed to push back the tears that had drained into your sinuses and searched a drawer for more tissues. From the corner of your eye, you saw Lloyd glance into the wastebasket. It was overflowing, since you’d spent the last fifteen minutes filling it with half a box of Kleenex. Lloyd reached into his breast pocket and held out a fresh tissue.
“Here.”
You took it with a mumbled thanks.
“What’s wrong, princess?”
You shook your head.
“It’s not any one thing. It’s just a bunch of stuff all bottled up, and it happened to all come pouring out… right now.”
You wiped your nose and tried to smile.
It didn’t persuade Lloyd. He crossed his arms over a well-built chest.
“Is Weston giving you trouble again?”
“No, no.”
At the mention of your supervisor’s name, you couldn’t help but scrunch your nose.
“I overheard him giving you grief about the Collins report an hour ago. You’ve got to speak up, Princess. The bastard has been walking all over you.”
“I finished the Collins report early.”
Lloyd’s eyebrows went up.
“Because Weston has been riding you for it?”
“No. The security company sent me their report this morning, so I finished it. When Weston hassled me, I told him he was out of line and I’d send him a copy of the report as soon as you approved it.”
A deep chuckle sounded from Lloyd’s chest. He let his head fall back and snickered, likely imagining the expression on Weston Tafferty’s turtle-like face.
“Atta girl, princess. You did good. I guess I owe you a drink now, don’t I?”
You perked up at the reminder of the drink Lloyd had promised you, as a reward once you put Weston in his place.
“I could use one tonight.”
“Come on, let’s grab that cocktail over dinner. I’m starving.”
Weston Tafferty was a gaslighting jerk. His style of communication differed from anyone you’d ever worked with before. He suggested, implied, and always left you guessing what he really meant. You were used to people who were direct. It was why you’d clicked with Lloyd, though at first you had despised him.
Lloyd despised Weston with a passion. He’d run the man off on his second day in the office and hadn’t dealt with him since. You weren’t as lucky. Though you worked with Lloyd almost exclusively as a research assistant for Bishop & Howard, you were under the authority of the paralegal team. Weston had joined the firm as lead paralegal six weeks ago and begun his insidious campaign to drive you insane within days.
It was as if he resented your assignment as Lloyd’s personal researcher and needed to bring you to heel. Lloyd had dismissed Weston immediately. He figured the matter was closed until this month, when he’d walked in on Weston upbraiding you for skipping a paralegal team meeting. It had been humiliating and then disastrous when Lloyd had gotten in Weston’s face and took the matter to Mr. Bishop himself.
Bluntness, thy name is Lloyd Hansen.
You’d ended up in the corner office with the firm’s senior partner for half an hour, explaining the problem. The problem, as Bishop had summed it up, was: Weston is squirrelly and interfering. Because of his micromanagement, you can’t do your job, which pisses off Lloyd. Nobody liked it when Lloyd was in a bad mood.
He was the head of the investigative wing of Bishop & Howard. Underneath him was a team of three lawyers and, by technicality, you. Lloyd had joined the firm just before you had begun your internship there almost four years ago. Completing an internship was a degree requirement for your criminal justice program. You’d clashed with Lloyd, then learned he wasn’t as awful as he seemed in your first impressions of him. He respected your work and rewarded it by stealing you away from your internship and training you to be his personal research assistant. You loved the variety of investigations. Everything from insurance fraud in an art theft to preparations for murder trials and divorce cases had come across your desk.
You’d become the office’s ‘Lloyd whisperer’ for your ability to tame the sharp tongued beast. When Bishop had offered you a job after graduation, it surprised no one.
He came to the firm with a shadow hanging over his head. The Princeton pedigree, followed by a stint at King’s College, was blacked out by his involvement in a major European scandal. He’d practiced corporate law on the continent after leaving ‘government work.’ You had never found out what kind of government work he’d done, but rumor had it he’d been in the CIA. The news article on his trial in France for unlawful imprisonment, kidnapping, and witness intimidation had corroborated those claims.
During your internship, Lloyd’s reputation had been horrid. His snarl was already a legend in the office by the time you’d gone toe to toe with him. But somehow he’d become your best friend. You realized he felt genuine remorse for his actions in Europe and could see the effort he was putting into the second chance Mr. Bishop had given him.
Did he have rough edges? Yes. Were his people skills lacking? Also, yes. But his issue wasn’t a lack of emotion. He had feelings. It was in expressing them he was handicapped. The second thing you realized was that he was alone. No friends, no family, not even a pet. His ugly reputation followed him everywhere, and it disturbed you to see how unkind people could be. They judged him before they met him.
Those remarks were illuminating because of how they affected Lloyd. His eyes would drop. He’d struggle with eye contact, but make it anyway, holding his ground. The set of his broad shoulders might have gone stiff, and his jaw would clench, but he showed shame more than anything. He never spoke about the incident with you.
It wasn’t something he needed to discuss. You accepted the hard man for who he was and then came to love him for it. Three years had gone by from internship to employment, and then turned into an uncomplicated friendship. You loved being the one who could snap Lloyd out of his dark moods. He barked at other members of the staff, glared, seethed with bitter sarcasm, but he’d unwind for you.
A crazy side of you - one that you would often beat back - longed to bridge the gap. You wanted to help him grow back the damaged parts of his heart. The man was an iceberg. Even three years of knowing him hadn’t revealed everything you wanted to uncover. But of course, you were sane. You knew your limits.
Fixing Lloyd Hansen’s level of brokenness was above your ability.
“The way you react to him is just weird. If I spoke to you like he did, you’d hang me out the fourth-floor window by my toenails.”
You sloshed the wine in your glass, watching it swirl.
“I don’t want to talk about Weston anymore.”
“We’re not talking about Weston,” Lloyd said. “We’re talking about you. You’ve been acting weird.”
“He’s a whole other category of asshole, okay? I’ve never come across a specimen quite like him before. And I hope I never do again. The world couldn’t handle two Weston Tafferties.”
“Don’t even bring it up while I have a full stomach, Princess.”
You laughed. “Fair.”
Lloyd sipped his whiskey and eyed you over the rim of his glass. He sat opposite you, in a horse-shoe shaped booth against the east wall of the Chinese restaurant. It was a place you frequented together to celebrate finished cases and blow off steam before the weekend. Song-Li, the restaurant’s host, noticed Hansen and approached your table with a wide smile. The men exchanged greetings in Mandarin and spoke rapid fire as you settled back to listen.
Lloyd was doing better at making friends. He’d mentioned reconnecting with some of his old government friends in the area, which had worried you at first. The concern he might leave Bishop & Howard made you anxious. Instead, he went out to brunch and played golf. It was ridiculous how happy you were that Lloyd was playing golf with a bunch of ex-military men. His friends occasionally stopped by the office, sporting regulation haircuts and uneven tans on their hands. This also made you feel giddy. Lloyd had friends and a hobby. You were expecting a pet in the future, maybe even this year.
“Are you tired?”
The question took you by surprise. “No, I’m alright.”
Lloyd’s eyes narrowed. Song-Li was back at his podium, handing menus to a couple. You wondered how long you’d been off in your own world.
“Why were you crying? What’s going on with you, Princess?”
His question made you recoil, sinking into the vinyl upholstery. The inquiry turned your mind from the safe, happy thoughts of Lloyd adopting a dog to your issues. He scooted closer to your side of the horseshoe booth.
“Look, I’m sorry about-” you waved your hand in reference to the crying incident, but didn’t know what to call it. “It was unprofessional.”
“Did I say that?”
“No. But crying women aren’t exactly your forte.”
“Are they any man’s?”
You choked out a laugh. “Touché.”
“Answer the question. What the fuck happened, Princess? Don’t say ‘nothing.’ I know you. You don’t cry over nothing.”
“I… uh…”
Your breathing accelerated as emotions bubbled up again. You buried your head in your hands.
“Is it your family? Your parents? Are you sick?”
“No, nothing like that… it's personal. Not family. But, uh-,”
“Don’t tell me you were crying because the fuck boy. What, he broke it off? That’s why you were crying?! Princess…”
Lloyd’s eyes shot blue sparks, but it was the disappointment in his voice that stung. How he’d phrased the comment added insult to injury. You snapped at him.
“He wasn’t a fuck boy! He was nice, and we were dating.”
“That guy wanted one thing and one thing only. Trust me.”
Humiliation made your cheeks burn.
“Lloyd, shut up. He’s moving to Saudi Arabia. Neither of us wanted to do the long distance thing, so we called it.”
There was no answer. You peeked up through your lashes to check his reaction and found his expression was murderous. But he wasn’t looking at you. His gaze was fixed over the top of your head on the door. Following his line of sight, you gasped.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Aiden LeDoux stood in the foyer, a pack of his friends crowded around him. You could recognize a couple of them, but most of the faces were unfamiliar. A petite blonde tugged on Aiden’s shoulder. He bent down so she could speak into his ear. Reasonable, since the chattering of the restaurant patrons was a dull roar. But something in the casual way she touched him triggered a female instinct that had your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach. The savory after taste of orange chicken turned sour in your mouth.
Aiden had been playing you.
A warm hand grasped your arm. The seat cushions sank, tilting you to the side, as Lloyd moved around the center of the curved booth. He settled beside you, so close his body brushed against yours. His hand stroked the length of your upper arm, starting from your elbow up to your shoulder. You turned away from the disturbing sight to stare at the back wall.
“Well, fuck me.”
The epithet was befitting and ironic at the same time.
You giggled, and it triggered an avalanche. Your shoulders shook. Giggles dissolved into peels of laughter as tension crumbled into flippancy.
Aiden had fucked you over.
Except he hadn’t fucked you, which was the problem.
At twenty-three years old, you were a certified virgin. It sucked. Aiden had been your carefully selected partner to help you remedy that status. If he’d taken care of your problem last week, tonight wouldn’t feel like such a crushing blow. You would be initiated into the world of sex and the uncomfortable challenge of losing your V-card forever in the rearview. Now, you were stuck. There were no new candidates on the horizon to help you with this stubborn little issue.
You were going to die a virgin.
“Settle down,” Lloyd said. “He didn’t see us.”
Your hands clenched into fists. “This is perfect. He was probably doing her the whole time.”
Maybe that was why he’d skipped out early on your date last week. The blonde girl was waiting on him.
“Come here.”
Lloyd curled his arm around your shoulders and drew you against his side. You leaned into the embrace and sighed.
His display of affection wasn’t entirely unexpected. He was getting better at the physical aspect of emotional expression, if not the verbal component. You sank further into his chest and out of Aiden’s sight.
“What do you think?”
“He’s a douche. Don’t spare him the time of day.”
“Not him, the blonde. Did you see them? They looked way too comfortable.”
“Maybe she’s his ex or something.”
“That’s pretty familiar for an ex.”
“Look at us right now. Would you buy that we’re just friends?”
You shifted your weight, tucking yourself closer to Lloyd’s muscular chest. He was warm and you were chilled. The air conditioning was cranked up to the maximum in the small room. It didn’t help that you were also processing the shock of Aiden’s betrayal. Lloyd rubbed your arm, his body molding itself against yours.
“Princess, don’t look now, but he just sat down at a table. Your eight o’ clock position.”
You stiffened.
“Shhh… It’s okay. Don’t worry about him.”
“Worry? I’d like to slap him.”
“For not inviting you to his going away party?”
You glanced over and saw Aiden accepting a red gift bag with sparkly tissue paper from the blonde.
“So, he breaks up with me, then parties with his friends and his ex. My taste in men is fantastic.”
Your wine glass was empty. The tumbler of amber liquid Lloyd had ordered sat by his elbow. You reached across the table and swiped it.
“Hey!”
“I need this.”
You tossed back the drink, gritting your teeth at the burn, and coughed.
“Whoa. Slow down.”
Lloyd patted your back to soothe your coughing fit.
“Trust me, that stuff isn’t your speed.”
“It’s exactly my speed tonight. Excuse me?”
You flagged down a passing waiter and asked for a refill. Lloyd sighed.
“Is he worth all this?”
“What do you mean? I’m upset. He’s taking off to the end of the earth and I didn’t even get to…”
You broke off and clamped your lips together, holding back the rest. Lloyd was your closest friend, but he was also a man. He wasn’t who you chatted about sex with.
“You deserve better than a selfish prick. I knew he was trash when he showed up late to your first date.”
The waiter brought your drink. You picked up the glass and stared into it as if it were a crystal ball. Maybe if you focused your energy on it hard enough, it would show you your future. Would you die a virgin? Or perhaps there was a man out there, somewhere, who you could trust to complete the deed.
“Fuck boy just spotted us. The look on his face is priceless.”
Your head turned, but Lloyd placed his hand on your chin. His fingers curled around your jaw and controlled the movement before you could look.
“Ignore him. Focus on me.”
The buzz from your first drink was starting to hit. You picked up the fresh glass and took a small sip, cautious of the burn. When you were done, Lloyd took it from you and tossed back most of the liquid.
“That was rude. Loosen up - I’m over age.”
“Duly noted. When you wake up tomorrow without a massive hangover, you can thank me.”
Liquor was really starting to hit now. You sank into Lloyd’s side and examined the half full glass with a frown.
“This stuff tastes nasty. They should give bigger portions though.”
“No, they definitely shouldn’t.”
You didn’t want your pleasant buzz to fade so you forced down the rest. Lloyd turned, and pretending to adjust his hold on you, glanced left, to where Aiden sat. A gentle pressure from his hand on your back urged you closer. In your buzzed state, you eagerly took the invitation and tangled your arms around his neck.
“What cologne do you use? It smells amazing.”
He chuckled. “Does it? C’mere, take a whiff.”
You nuzzled his throat and breathed deeply. His hand stroked down to your hips. Lloyd tugged you a few inches closer. Your knee bumped the table stand and you winced.
“Sorry, Princess.”
He reached down, scooped up both your legs in one arm, and hauled them into his lap. You slid forward on the vinyl. The movement brought the backs of your thighs flush with the top of his. Your knees dangled in the space between his splayed legs. He curled his right arm around your shoulders and kissed your forehead.
“Comfy?”
You tilted your head back and grinned up at him. The effect of the alcohol surged in your blood, even more potent when combined with the drugging pleasure of his affection.
“Mmmhmm. You’re a really good cuddler.”
Lloyd smirked as your head lolled against his shoulder in a drunken state of relaxation.
“Y/N… uh, hey, I thought I saw you over here.”
Your eyes lifted to meet Aiden LeDoux’s unhappy stare. His lips compressed into a flat line and he regarded the man you were snuggling with suspicion.
Summary: 18 months after being put in a safe house to run away from your stalker, you meet your new bodyguard, former CIA agent Lloyd Hansen. Lloyd is a complicated man who gets on every last one of your nerves, he’s stern, pragmatic and never sugarcoats anything. But if he really is so insufferable, why is it that he seems to be the only person in your life to actually care for you?
Word count: 16K
• Morally Gray/Soft!Bodyguard!Lloyd Hansen x Fem!Reader
• Warnings: 18+ (Minors DO NOT INTERACT), angst, dark themes, description of past stalking (not by Lloyd), use of gun, isolation, dependence and withdrawal from tranquilizers, traumatic events, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, humor, fluff, soft!Lloyd, slow burn, unrequited feelings.
If any of these topics upset, you DO NOT read it. Your media consumption is your responsibility ‼️
This is not beta’d and I’m not a native speaker so there might be some mistakes.
I DO NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or website other than by myself.
If you like my writing, please make sure to reblog so others can read it too (comments are also very much appreciated). The way to have more content coming out is to support your content creators. 💗
Summary: A ridiculous love at first sigh sort of thing. I suppose I imagine it the same Mr. & Mrs. Barber that engage in all that filth (from anal, to lactation to period sex) because they love each other so much.
Warnings: Brooding/depressing thoughts of behalf of Reader. Pining. P in V. A little finger up the butt. A love story (which is a warning, ok). Oral (female receiving, male receiving mentioned), masturbation.
A/N: This was meant to be a drabble after seeing those images of CE on the set of Ghosted. Then it turned dark. Then it turned into this ridiculous little love story. Let me be honest - I’m so damn jaded that the idea of a love story makes me go “What’s the catch?” The idea of a “soulmate” makes me cringe and question the intelligence of anyone that speaks the word. But here we are. This story was brutal to write, but I’m glad I did it.
Andy’s hip bumped against the side of the door, his coffee spilling over the brim enough to splash to the ground, catching the side of his leather shoes. He cursed softly under his breath, but loud enough to capture the attention of a mother dragging a young child behind her. Andy dropped his head, apologetically, before brushing past and onto the sidewalk.
Andy moved between the crowds of rushing commuters with ease - used to the rat race - as he made his way to his parked Audi curbside. But something caught his eye.
He could tell himself it was the shimmer of your necklace catching in the early morning sunlight. Or the soft scent of your perfume? Lotion? Floating on the breeze and caressing his skin.
But Andy knew it was something more. Something he had only dared imagine on quiet, lonely nights that he passed with a book and glass of scotch. It was destined to be.
Andy watched as you swept the back of your fingers softly up the petals of a lavender rose nestled in a bouquet outside the little flower shop, your lips catching a smile ever so slightly, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes.
His gaze scanned the sidewalk knowing clearly that he was encroaching on a private moment and not wanting to raise the hackles of concerned passerby’s. But the world was moving along just fine without him as he fixed his stare back on you.
You pulled on the tag above the flowers, scowling briefly, and stepped back with a final solemn look before carrying past.
Andy averted his attention, turning on his heel, and peeking under lowered lashes to watch you walk past, hands dug deep in your woolen overcoat to fight off the early spring chill, none the wiser of his presence.
He tossed his coffee into the trash bin near the bus stop, quickly weaving between the roaming ants of people until he pulled on the bouquet of roses you had been admiring, and disappeared into the small shop, briefly, to toss money on the counter.
He rushed down the crowded sidewalk, spying your receding form slouched between the throngs of people ahead. You walked slowly, and despite being thankful for that little fact, it tugged on Andy’s heart knowing it was probably done more out of melancholy than desire.
You seemed so sad, and he hated that in the very marrow of his bones.
You veered off toward the park and as Andy’s pace quickened, he realized what he may seem to you if he approached, flowers in hand, and he slowed to a stop.
He watched you take a seat on the park bench, smiling as a few birds flew down near your feet in search of scattered crumbs.
Andy couldn’t do this. Couldn’t implant himself into a world he knew nothing about. A life he may never have even known existed had he not been delayed briefly when he spilled his coffee.
we love him nakky (and steve’s glorious collarbones)
We do love him nakky🥵
So many thots
Johnny Storm x reader
Warnings: MINORS DNI- roommates to lovers trope, idiots in love, mentions of drinking, drunk reader, mentions of the show below deck, over use of the pet name Peach, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, PIV, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it), breath play, spitting
AN: I am so sorry this took so long @holy-stevie , I am a terribly slow writer and this started out as something entirely different but I hope you like it😊
Written on my phone. All mistakes are my own. This fic got away from me and I suck at knowing how to end things. Have no idea of the word count.
~
"Jesus, Johnny!" You cried as you covered your eyes. "Put some fucking clothes on," you grumbled as your roommate plopped down next to you on the couch in nothing but a towel and a devilish smirk.
"No can-do, Peach. You know I like to air dry after I shower," he stated as he reached over you for the remote.
You made to grab the remote out of his hand, "first of all; do not call me peach. You saw my bare ass one time -"
"And it's so perfect, how could I not call you Peach?"
"And second," you continue, rolling your eyes, "don't interrupt my boat show."
He was still halfway across your lap, both of your hands on the remote, "Boat show?" He smirked at you.
Fuck, this was not helping the little crush you had on your very sexy and very cocky roommate. The intoxicating smell of his body wash lingers in front of you, you wanted to lick the rivulets of water dripping down his chest and you could clearly make out the outline of his cock under the towel.
"Yes. Now let go," you tugged on the remote and shoved his shoulder with your free hand. You bit your lip as he leaned back, releasing the remote and holding his hands up in surrender, "okay, okay, Peach."
You shot him a glare before trying to turn your attention back to your show. You couldn't keep your eyes from drifting down to his wide set thighs and you had to tamp down a whimper when he popped his hips up slightly, getting more comfortable. The towel begins to cover less and less of his legs the more he adjusts. Some drama was happening on the screen and Johnny pulled you out of your lust filled stare, "Has that dude slept with every chick on the boat?"
"Huh?" Your eyes snapped back up to the TV, "Oh yeah, Gary's a real player. Kinda like someone else I know," you playfully elbowed his ribs.
"Oof," he mocked offence as he rubbed his ribs, "that hurts, Peach," he frowned.
You rolled your eyes again and shoved his shoulder with your own as you brought your focus back to the show.
You two had been playing at this unspoken game of who was gonna break first since you moved in. He didn't have the heart to tell you that the night you came home plastered last weekend, you had tried to kiss him as he helped you in to your bed.
"Johnny," you happily cried, throwing your arms around his neck when he opened the apartment door you were struggling to unlock.
"'M drunk," you slurred with a giggle, struggling to stand upright and he wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you from falling.
"I can tell," he chuckled, as he tried to walk you down the hall to your bedroom, your feet uncooperative in your strappy heels.
"Toooo much tequila," you whined as you fumbled again before he picked you up bridal style and carried you to your bed, setting you down gently on the edge. You bit your lip when you got a full view of him as he stood back up; hair tussled, gray sweatpants slung low on his hips, his bare chest that you wanted to sink your teeth into, and that smirk that always did you in. He kneeled down and started to undo the straps on your shoes and you tossed yourself back on the bed, hands over your face as you groaned, "Why d'you have to be stupid sexy all the time?"
He laughed again and placed your feet up on the bed, "Oh, you are gonna be so hungover tomorrow," he helped you get under the cover and was pulling them up when you made grabby hands at him with a pout. He rolled his eyes, a smile tugging on his lips as he leaned down to give you a hug, but you pulled on his neck, bringing his face to yours, "I want you," you whispered, inching closer. He sighed, closing his eyes and rested his forehead on yours, "God, I wish you'd say that when you're sober." He reached up and took your hands off his neck, whispering "goodnight, y/n," and walked out of your room. He heard you sniffle as he closed the door.
You woke to the smell of bacon and emerged from your bed with a splitting headache, in search of coffee. Your embarrassment from last night's rejection is evident in the ruined mascara and tear tracks under your eyes when you caught a look at yourself in the mirror as you changed into sweats. All you could remember was that you made your move and he rejected you.
"Ah, she lives," Johnny said with a smile, sliding a plate of his famous hangover cure breakfast to you as you sat down at the island in the kitchen. You moaned, head in hands, voice cracking as you asked for coffee. He was already sliding a cup to you. You took a sip, and hid your smile behind your favorite mug, it was just the way you like it.
"So," he started, trying to be nonchalant, placing the dirty pans in the sink as you dug in to your food, "tequila, huh? Did you black out again?"
You thought for a minute as you chewed, trying to piece together your hazy memory of the night before. The silence making him nervous.
"Shit," you sighed, his hands stilled in the soapy water, "I think I tried to make out with one of the bouncers at Mick's. Fuck. I am never going drinking with Kristi again. I don't even remember coming home." His shoulders fell a little as he began scrubbing again.
"I-, uh, I didn't do anything stupid when I got home, did I?" You asked hesitantly. He put the clean pan on the drying rack and turned to face you with a soft smile, "Nah, Peach, you were fine. I mean, besides you falling in those crazy heels every two seconds, you were fine." He turned back to the dirty dishes. Fuck.
But now. Now, you were so fucking close to breaking. His bare thigh was pressed up against yours and watching the deckhand and chief stew on the reality show make out in a hot tub was doing nothing to stop your thirst. You tried to be subtle as you squeezed your thighs together trying to quell the throbbing in your clit, the action not going unnoticed by Johnny. His crystal blue iris' a thin line around his lust blown pupils as he threw one arm on the back of the couch, his other across his lap to try and hide his growing erection. You cleared your throat and shifted, practically squirming in your soaked panties.
"You okay, Peach?" He husked, leaning closer.
You turned to him, locking eyes, "don't call me that," but there was no bite in your words. His eyes drifted down to your lips when you ran your tongue over them. Your chest rising at a quicker pace the longer he stared and when you bit your lip his hand that was on the couch was on your neck, gently pulling your towards him. "Tell me you want this, Y/N," he whispered, eyes searching yours.
"I want you, Johnny," you echoed your words from the weekend before and in an instant his lips were on yours. Soft and needy and urgent. His other hand wrapping around your waist to pull you into his lap, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders as you moaned into his mouth. He tasted minty as you tongues explored each other, his hands sliding up and down your sides and when you sucked his tongue into your mouth he groaned, grabbing your hips to grind you over his cock. You could feel his hard length through the thin leggings you wore as his towel slipped away, making your pussy clench around nothing.
"Holy shit," the words came out before you could stop them when you pulled back and looked down, his large cock, bigger than any you've had before, twitching under your gaze and leaking pre cum, making your mouth water.
"Like what you see, Peach?"
Your half-lidded eyes meeting his, "I told you," you simpered as you got off his lap and on to your knees in front of him, your hands running up his thighs as he spread them when you leaned forward, "Don't. Call. Me. Peach."
You licked from the base of his cock, running your tongue up the thick vein to his leaking tip, his taste heady as you took him in your mouth. A quiet "fuck," falling from his lips when you you looked up at him through your lashes as you took him as deep as you could, his tip hitting the back of your throat and you swallowed around him, your hand wrapping around what you couldn't fit in your mouth. You swirled your tongue along his vein and hummed when he began gathering your hair away from your face, gently urging you to move. His eyes rolled back in his head as you slowly came back up stopping to run your tongue over his slit and you felt his thighs shake. You swirled your tongue around his tip one last time before bobbing your head and working the rest of his length with your hand in tandem. "Oh shit, just like that baby," his voice a low and desperate, his grip in your hair tightened as you began gagging on his thick cock, drool spilling down your hand and onto his balls.
You hummed, feeling his cock get incredibly hard, his moans and grunt above you making your chest swell with pride and he asked, "Can I cum in your mouth, baby?" You nodded your head as best you could before he groaned again and a slew of profanities falling from him as ropes of his cum shoot down your throat as you tried your best to swallow all of it.
You pulled off of him with a pop. He growled, pulling you up into his lap again and bringing your lips to his in a heated kiss, tasting himself on your tongue as he squeezed your ass.
"My turn to taste you," he whispered against your lips, slowly lowering you to lay down on the couch. He sat back, pulling your leggings and panties down and bringing a finger to your glistening cunt.
"Is all this for me, Peach?"
You nodded your head as he ran two fingers up the cut of you making your breath hitch, gathering your juices and bringing them to his mouth. He moaned at your taste, "always knew you'd taste amazing."
He ran his fingertips up your thighs as he leaned down, lifting your legs over his shoulders and kissing down the soft skin of your inner thigh, making your tummy swoop with anticipation. He grazed his teeth just above where you needed him most, making you whine, "Please, Johnny."
"Don't worry, Peach. I'll take good care of this pretty little pussy," he husks, his breath ghosting over your pulsing clit before he spit on it, watching his saliva drip down your folds, your breathing becoming rapid and he hadn't even put his mouth on you yet.
You inhaled sharply as he finally put you out of your misery, running his tongue from your leaking hole to your clit, swirling it and then latching his lips around and sucking. Your cries and moans of "ohmygod," and "fuck yes! Right there," egging him on as he flicked his tongue rapidly over your swollen bud, you fingers carding through his short hair, heat blooming in your core as he brought you closer to bliss.
Johnny spread his hand over your tummy to still your hips, his other tracing around your glistening lips before he sank two thick fingers into you, searching for that soft, spongy spot that made your toes curl. "Don't stop!" You cried as he found it, "I'm so close."
He moved his fingers and tongue faster, your body going ridged as your orgasm spread fire through your veins and you held his face to your pussy. "Yesyesyesfucksogood," your words slurred together as he worked you through your high, drinking in your juices.
He pulled back, taking a deep breath, "Damn, Peach," he smiled as you both caught your breath. He pulled his fingers from your drenched cunt, making you whine at the empty feeling.
"I need to feel you wrapped around my cock and have you do that again," he said as he crawled up your body, stopping to lift your shirt and brought his mouth to your nipple, biting it causing a thin keen to leave your lips.
"Fuck yes," you replied, pushing him up to sit on the couch as you straddle his lap, slipping your tongue in his mouth as you grind your pussy over his massive cock. His hands grip your ass before he slides them up your back, lifting your shirt as they go and you pull back so he can take it off of you.
"God, you're so beautiful," he brushes his thumbs over your hard nipples, a shiver running down your spine before kissing him again, and you can't wait any longer, you needed to feel him inside you. He couldn't wait either, one hand on his cock, the other moving to your hip to guide you down on to him, watching each other as you feel him stretch your soft walls, the pain and pleasure mixing has your head going light. He pulls you down, inch by inch, until he's buried to the hilt, your pussy fluttering around him, a choked moan falling from your lips and his grip on your hip bruising.
"Fuck, you're so big. I don't know if I can-" you shudder as you begin to circle your hips.
"Oh yes you can, Peach. You're taking me so well," he brushes a few hairs from your face, his hand coming to rest on your neck, pulling you back to his lips as he whispered, "just like I knew you would."
He kissed you as he slammed his hips up to yours, then slowly pulled back out, leaving just the tip as your pussy tried to suck him back in. Both of his hands fell to your ass as you whined, trying to wiggle back down on his fat cock. "Awe, is my Peach needy," he squeezed your ass, keeping you in place and kneading the supple flesh, "use your words, baby."
And here you thought you being on top would mean you were in control.
You bite your lip, tipping your head back and closing your eyes as you whine again.
"Don't get all shy on me now, Peach," he whispers before bringing his lips to your collar bone as you rake your nails over his shoulders.
You bring your eyes back to his, any other coherent thought leaving your mind before you practically yell "Fuck me, Johnny." And oh he is happy to oblige. A grin spreads over his lips as he slams you back down and you cry out, both his hands coming up to cup your breasts as you begin to bounce. You can feel every ridge of his cock as your walls flutter around his hard length. A familiar heat begins to spread in your core, the coil twisting tighter as you feel your high approaching. He brings his thumb down to rub harsh circles on your sensitive bud and his mouth to your peeked nipple, biting hard as he moans. The sensations overwhelming as the coil snaps and you cry out his name as he fucks you through your high. His hips stutter as he wraps his arms around you, groaning when he paints your walls with his seed, making you cum again, your hips moving on their own accord over his sensitive cock as he shudders as after shocks roll through your body.
"Holy shit, Peach," he groans, leaning his forehead against yours as you both catch your breath. You smile, "I told you," you give him a quick kiss, "don't call me Peach."
Pairings: Yenzy (Jensen) x itty bitty (platonic) and Hockeyplayer!Ari Levinson x female reader (Levs x itty bitty)
Warnings: explicit language, physical violence- minor and not in detail (male towards male) excessive legal age drinking, heartache, angst, idiots in love and ruining it, bonehead Levs, MU team, itty bitty acting out of character, explicit sexual content implied- possibly a little dub con-ish depending on how you look at it, size kink- itty bitty is short and it’s making all the boys feral (must be 18+)
Word Count: 2.6K
A/N: not beta read. All mistakes are my own.
I know she’s not here anymore but a thank you to my sweet friend Siri for reading though this and spitballing ideas with me ❤️
Levs (Ari) x itty bitty: hockey AU
Lucky Charms: hockey AU
So, just because there’s been some buzz around this part in particular- could I ask that you kindly put any spoiler comments/reblogs under a cut, please? 🙏❤️ Thank you for all your support! I appreciate all of you so much!
"He's freaking out, y/n... can you at least let him know you're OK?" Yenzy sighed, tapping the pencil on his notebook as he swiveled in his desk chair. He took his glasses off and rubbed at his tired eyes before replacing them.
It had been nearly a week since you left Ari at the arena and ever since the boys won, Ari had been calling you non-stop. Your mailbox was full and he had even accosted your roommate, drunk and begging for your whereabouts.
You had left- not even telling your roommate where you planned on going. You didn't have a plan. You just needed a place where he wouldn't find you. And he would never think to look for you... here.
"How 'bout an I'm OK, now fuck off text?" Yenzy smirked.
"No" you snorted stubbornly, "he can eat shit" you double hiccuped and then giggled.
Yenzy heard a muffled male voice in the background of wherever you were, you pulled the phone away and held it to your chest as you spoke to the unidentified male, Yenzy only hearing bits and pieces of a garbled conversation.
"Hey, bit..." Yenzy called into the phone.
"You're dumb... it's not a catchphrase..." you scoffed, bringing the phone back to your ear, "anyone can say that..." you said, addressing the male voice.
"Bitty..." Jake tried again, louder this time.
"Yuck..." your hiccuped was a squeak, "don't call me that... I hate it... I hate that stupid nickname... who cares if I'm short? He's a big dumb giant" you harrumphed.
"How much have you had to drink?" Yenzy asked, concern laced his tone.
"Dunno" you sighed into the phone with a shrug, "but I need a refill..." you sang out to no one in particular.
"Are you at least being safe?" Yenzy asked with a heavy exhale, "where are you?"
"I'm fine" you assured, "I just need to not feel for awhile, Yenz" you dropped your voice so only Yenzy could hear you, "and I'm not telling you... cause then you'll tell him and he'll come find me... and I'm not... ready" your voice was growing watery again as you thoughts drifted back to Ari.
You couldn't think of him for too long- you wouldn't let yourself- or it would start the spiral of devastation all over again. He had been your everything for the past two years and you were his... nothing.
Why did it take you so damn long to realize that? You felt like a joke.
You were nothing but a good time for him. A stop in between his revolving door of partners. Maybe he had been sleeping with others all along- even when he said he was waiting to score with you.
You felt like you were going to be sick. Clearing your throat as you wiped the tears with the back of your borrowed sweater.
"Y/N..." Yenzy blew out another exhale -completely over being in the middle of all of this- he had clearly been trying to get your attention as you were lost in thought, "just be careful, please? And call me if you need anything... I won't tell him if you don't want me..." but Jensen's words were cut short when there was a loud commotion on his end of the phone.
"What the hell?" Yenzy huffed when his bedroom door flung open with a force that rattled the house.
"Is that bit? Where is she? Gimme the phone" Levs' demanded as he rushed across the room.
Ari looked disheveled; bloodshot eyes, hair tossled from racking his hands through it one too many times and he smelled like booze.
"Levs... she doesn't want to tal..." Yenzy started before Levs yanked the phone from the goalie's hand.
"Bit?" Levs tried to keep his voice even but it trembled. The line was dead.
"Fuck" Levs yelled, nearly cracking Yenzy's phone when he closed his fist around it with a snarl. His face flushed pink as he seethed down at his teammate.
"Why didn't you tell me she was talking to you?" Levs barked, "I've been trying to get a hold of her for days..."
"Jesus, man... get a grip" Yenzy said, standing and maneuvering around Levs as he tried to leave his room, "she doesn't want to talk to you."
"Get a grip?" Levs spun around, "she's my... my..."
"Your what, man?" Yenzy goaded, "you're a mess 'cause she left and you still can't fucking admit what she is to you..."
"Fuck you, Jensen" Levs growled.
"That's it... keep deflecting..." Yenzy scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"SHE'S MY FUCKING EVERYTHING" Levs yelled in a drunken rage as he threw Yenzy's phone to the floor.
Yenzy's jaw ticked, his fists clenched at his sides- he moved to pick his phone up, but Ari took an aggressive step towards the goalie, boxing him in against his bookcase.
"Then why don't you fucking tell her that?" Yenzy shot back, matching Levs' volume but not his bite.
"Watch it" Levs' anger was barely contained, boiling just under the surface.
"You've been stringing y/n along for how many years now?" Yenzy asked, "she's gone, pal..."
"I'm not your fucking pal" Levs loomed over Jensen with about 4 extra inches.
"She's too good for you" Jensen scoffed under his breath, standing his ground.
"What the fuck did you just say?" Levs growled.
"You heard me" Yenzy said, glaring at the brute.
Cappy, Sam and some of the other boys had made their way to the bedroom hallway from downstairs after hearing the yelling.
"She's too good for me, 'cause what?" Levs snorted harshly, "you wanna fuck her, Yenzy?"
"You're drunk" Yenzy glared at him.
"And you wanna fuck my girl" Levs countered.
"No... y/n and I are just friends... became friends the last time you were a massive dick to her in fact" Yenzy said, bluntly.
"What the hell does that mean?" Levs snarled.
"When you went home for the summer and hooked up with an ex..." Yenzy continued, "y/n found out... she saw it all... some video on TikTok or something."
"What?" Levs asked, "how? She never told me that..."
"Because she was humiliated..." Yenzy scoffed, "she had just told you she had feelings for you and you go and fuck some other girl?"
"I never fucked her..." Levs growled, taking Yenzy's shirt in his fists and yanking him close.
"Hey" Cappy yelled, getting in Levs' face, "walk it off, Levs" he said as Sam and Johnny rushed in, each grabbing a shoulder of the Canadian powerhouse.
Levs easily shook off his teammates' holds, glowering down at his goalie just as Yenzy's phone buzzed to life. Levs glared at Jensen, shoving him one last time before letting go of his rumbled t-shirt.
"If this is fucking broken..." Yenzy threatened as he bent down, picking up the phone and answering it when he saw your picture flash across the screen.
"Yenzy, is he still there?" you asked, your voice was steady, but inside you were trembling.
"Yes" Yenzy snarled, glaring at Levs who had backed off but still looked menacing in his current state of beast mode.
"Give him the phone" you instructed.
"You sure?" Yenzy asked.
"Please, Jake..." you blew out a heavy exhale.
Jensen sighed, reluctantly offering Levs the phone as he shook his head, throwing his hands in the air as if he were washing himself clean of the whole damn thing. Yenzy turned, storming out of his bedroom with a curse.
"Bit?" Levs asked, turning his back on his teammates as they also decided to leave the room.
"Stop calling me" you snapped.
"What? Bit, please..." Ari's voice was pained as he paced the small space, "I'm so sorry... I..."
"And leave my roommate and Yenzy alone. I'm not even at my place and I'm not coming back... They don't have anything to do with this..." you continued, ignoring his pleas.
"Where are you?" he asked.
"That's none of your concern anymore" you said.
"Bit... I scored... I scored" he slurred, "just come home, baby... please?" Ari begged, his voice watery now. You could tell he was drunk.
"Oh, that's great" your sarcasm was thick, "have fun with Kimmie..."
"What?" he snorted, "no, bit... it's you... it's only you... I scored for you..." Ari paused his pacing to emphasize every word.
"I don't care" you spat, "none of it matters... it never mattered, Levs..."
"Bit... don't say that..." but Ari's words were choked off with emotion, "don't do this to us, baby..."
"You did this... you did this to us" your tone was surprisingly calm, "you fucking did this to us... I was right there the whole fucking time and it never mattered."
"That's not true, bit" Ari's voice cracked again as he fought back the tears.
"Stop fucking calling me bit" you screamed into the phone, "I'm not your bit... I'm not your fucking anything..."
The phone went dead as Levs sank down on Yenzy's bed with a sob.
You stared at the phone for a long minute, eyes prickling with tears. The sound of someone clearing their throat startled you back to the present.
"Good girl" Ransom goaded, walking back into his bedroom and handing you an imported beer. You'd been getting drunk off this fancy shit ever since you showed up on his doorstep that night.
"Shut up" you whined, "I don't even know why we’re doing this... he's never gonna care..." you wiped a tear with the back of your hand.
"A guy like Levinson? Thinking he missed out on that tight little snatch? He's gonna fucking care" Ransom hissed, tossing you a jersey as he sat opposite you in his expensive oversized Italian leather chair.
"You're gross" you cringed, "why did I get drunk and tell you everything?"
"Cause I'm a good listener" Ransom snorted, not even believing himself.
"Are you just being nice to me so you can get in my pants?" you wondered out loud.
"Think that's been pretty clear from the start, little bitty kitty..." Ransom smirked.
"Ew! Don't call me that" you hiccuped.
"Why?" Ransom's eyes twinkled with delight, "she's obviously little, Ransom leaned forward, taking handful's of your soft curves and yanking you to the edge of his bed. You gasped, almost spilling your beer before squirming out of his hold as he frowned. Ransom leaning back in his chair with an exaggerated eye roll.
Trying to ignore the tension building in the room, you set the beer bottle on his bedside table and grabbed the jersey he had thrown at you.
"I'm not wearing this..." you frowned, holding up Ransom's MU knit. Even their jersey's were menacing.
"Sure you are... to the game with those assholes and Coach Barber" Ransom hummed, before standing up again and grabbing his giant hockey duffle from his bedroom floor, "Levinson will go balistic... and you want him off your back, right?"
You blew out a heavy sigh, but remained silent.
"Y/N... I'm not running a fucking bed-and-breakfast here..." Ransom narrowed his eyes at you, "and I'm not a nice guy... figure your shit out with that goon or wear the jersey..."
"It's not that easy, Ransom... I..." you started, but Ransom cut you off.
"Look... I don't give a shit what you do... but after we win tonight, I'm fucking whatever cunt ends up in my bed - even if that's your pretty little kitty... bet you're so fucking tight... and that it's been way too long... you're just begging to be stretched by a fat cock, huh?" his eyes darkened, staring at you hungrily.
You chirped, opening your mouth to protest, but your throat had gone completely dry.
"Wear it" he pressed, a satisfied smirk curling the corner of his mouth as he turned on the spot, leaving his room without another word.
A bad feeling sat heavy in your gut as you watched him go. Following through with some half-baked plan that you schemed up while drunk with Ransom last night- now suddenly sounded like the worst idea ever.
You stood, holding up Ransom’s jersey before deciding better of it and draping it over the back of his leather chair. You quickly tugged his sweater over your head and proceeded to hang it neatly next to his MU away uniform.
You left Ransom's room, in a pair jeans and a tank top, making your way through the house- on a mission.
It wasn’t long before you found another jersey, hanging from a rack near the kitchen. Taking that one off the hook, you held it up, admiring the quality red white and blue stiching. Your fingers traced the "Tucker" across the back. Lance boasting, just last night, that he was the only one from MU that had ever been invited to play for Team USA at the Olympics. They took gold that year- Lance had the tattoo to prove it.
You shook your head, hanging the jersey back up on its hook. That one wasn't going to cut it either.
Making your way through the kitchen to the other side of the house you stopped right outside his room. You felt like a modern day Goldilocks, not necessarily in looks, but in determination to find a jersey that was just right.
In a moment of panic, you faltered. Could you really be this mean? Did you want to be this mean? Levs had hurt you. Shattered your heart into a million pieces and you were ready for him to feel some of that heartache.
As you stood there, agonizing over everything that had happened in the last two years to lead up to this moment, the bedroom door in front of you swung open.
"Why hello there, dewdrop" his unconventional choice in facial hair made him look at least 5 years older than all the other players on MU as he glanced down at you with, mischief in his eyes, "what can I do for you?"
His words and tone were deceivingly sweet, but you knew he was anything but kind. And he was exactly what you needed to get Ari off your back.
"You mind if I borrow your away jersey tonight?" you chirped before you lost your nerve.
"Thought you'd be wearing Drysdale's'?" his lip curled into a sickening sneer. You weren't sure what it was exactly, but he made your skin crawl.
"No" you said, crossing your arms over your chest as his gaze bore through your thin cotton tank top until you felt exposed.
"An' what do I get in return?" he smirked, leaning in his doorway, his larger than life frame taking up as much space as possible. Could he possibly be taller than Levs?
"I... um..." nervous laughter bubbled up your throat as your arms fell to your sides.
"Don't worry, sweetheart..." he smirked, smoothing his hand over his facial hair, "sure we can work something out..." he turned, disappearing into his room and returning a few seconds later with a dark MU jersey.
He licked his lips before extending the jersey to you, but instead of letting it go when you took it, he yanked you forward, crashing you into his hard chest with a growl as he wrapped a thick arm around your waist.
"Been dying to get a taste of that sweet nectar, dewdrop..." he whispered hot in your ear, "gotta see if that tight little honeypot lives up to all the hype... I got a feeling both holes are just achin’ to be stuffed."
All you could do was whine as you braced your hands against his broad chest. He let you and the jersey go with a snicker, humming to himself as he left you there alone, his jersey in hand.
You stood, frozen on the spot, until you knew he was gone, leaving for the MU arena to get ready for the game tonight. You blow out an exhale, holding the jersey up to read the big block lettering across the back.
"Hansen" you said aloud to yourself. A shiver snaking up your spine. This was a very bad idea.
A/N: so I’m going to post this and run 🫣 I don’t want to know if you hate it 😓🤐
The hockey divider is made by the lovely and talented @firefly-graphics ❤️
As always, thank you for all the love and support. Please check out my archive blog where I only post new fics @drabblewithfrannybarnesfics ❤️
Summary- 5.1k Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. After the Friday night at Paulie's, you ponder if you are going to get that phone call and if Curtis will keep his promise of a date. Curtis, listening to his friends, decides to invite you to the restaurant Va Bene, a fine Italian dining establishment that feels just a bit out of his element.
Warnings- The reader has some body image issues but nothing severe, some harsh self talk. Curtis feeling out of his element.
A/N- Thank you so much everyone! I so appreciate how much interest and all the remarks I have gotten about these two comfort characters for me. Special thank you to @what-is-your-plan-today for reading over this and dropping your thoughts and edits. The dividers made by @firefly-graphics. So the Italian in this, I used Google Translate for it, so if I completely butchered the launguage, I am so sorry. Happy Reading. 🐝🍯
Chapter Two / Masterlist
Come Monday you were still thinking about that Friday night.
Curtis drove you to your apartment building and you two hovered on the front steps for a few moments, collars turned up to keep the wind from stealing what little heat there was to be had. You were standing so close, so aware of him that your eyes kept flirting up to look at him. The tip of his nose and top of his cheeks were slightly red, his bottom lip was a plump temptation that you really wanted to taste and his eyes were very intensely fixed on you in the same manner.
Your heart had to be pounding loud enough for him to hear as the tingling rush raced through you. This feeling of being desired hadn’t made itself known in some time.
You hadn't felt like this since leaving home. No, not your home, it certainly wasn’t home while you were living there with Jake. You hadn’t felt like this since you and Jake first started dating, back before you were told how you needed to fix yourself. It actually scared you just a little as well as excited you how Curtis looked at you like you were someone special.
“Thank you Curtis, for bringing me home.” Your hands fiddled with your keys, not that there were many on the keyring but you were stalling and could tell he was stalling too. He rocked back and forth on his heels to toes a moment, clearing his throat.
“Well, I couldn't let you fend for yourself getting home now. I should probably get headed back but do you- ah- want to…” He seemed to turn bashful almost, now not entirely sure the red in his cheeks was actually from the chill in the air. His hand clasped the back of his neck, giving a slight pull at the nape of his neck before he focused on his words once again. “Go out again… I would like to take you to dinner or something. I’m pretty open to anything you would like to do.”
He was nervous which you didn't fathom why he would be but you were immediately able to answer him. “I would love to, Curtis. Just give me a call and we can set something up. You have my number.” You tilted up to your tiptoes and brushed a kiss on his bristled cheek.
When you unlocked the door to let yourself in, you waved goodbye, heading up the stairs, taking one glance over your shoulder to see Curtis retreating back to his truck.
That was Friday and you had not heard from him since, and some of those old doubts started to fester. Maybe he got to thinking about it and decided that you were too much for him. It wouldn't be the first time that happened, reliving some past memories made your throat close up and the papers you graded blur.
Nagging thoughts had plagued you all day and angrily you swiped at the tear threatening to spill. It was ridiculous to feel this way you chided yourself. You don't even know him, not really. And he might be busy.
Or have a girlfriend?
Being a bigger woman who took up to much space had been your life for the past five years. You were reminded that you weren't even the “attractive big woman.” You were just pretty. It was a sharp sound in your mind- pretty for your size.
You slammed your pen down in frustration at yourself and picked up a baby carrot to snap into instead. You could feel those nagging doubts start to take root and you were determined not to let them. After all, you two had a great time at Paulie’s, Curtis had been more than eager to have you put your number in his phone and any man hiding something wouldn't just hand over his phone so freely. Yes trusting was hard, but this man wasn’t Jake Wyler, right? He had led you away from his friends, but they all saw you with his arm around you. He wasn’t trying to hide you, you two were getting to know each other. Logic prevailed over the negative thoughts, thankfully.
Claude chose this opportune moment to appear in your doorway with a knock. “Hey, are you busy? I know the class is at lunch right now.”
You shook your head while picking your red pen back up to continue. “Just doing some grading during my own break period. What's up?”
“I just wanted to say sorry for leaving the other night. I looked around for you, but last I saw you were playing pool with that really good looking guy.” She perched on the edge of your desk. “And well, he seemed really into you, so I just assumed-” The drawing you had been given by the bus driver caught her eye and she leaned forward to pluck it up, studying it curiously. “I was not making the best decisions Friday.” She winced as if recalling a memory from that night. “Also this is really good! It looks a bit like that man you were with?”
“We played pool and shared a couple of pitchers. Curtis gave me a ride home so it's all good and umm… remember the field trip to the freight yard? That is where we first met. Steve drew that while we were walking around.”
“You met him before! Girl why didn’t you tell me about him?! We would have been going back to that freight yard to collect him and find me one.” Claude gave a nod. “Are you two gonna go out again?” She gave the drawing one last glance and set it back down. Your fingers itched to put it away from anyone else's sight.
“We exchanged numbers, so we will see.” You let yourself go back to grading papers while Claude moved off your desk, straightening her skirt out.
“Well, you are pretty damn cute. He is going to call. And I can tell just looking at him that he is going to be a good time.” She gave a suggestive wink as the bell rang and your class was just bursting in the door, cutting off the conversation.
Your jaw clenched and teeth gritted at Claude's statement. Pretty. That word you used for yourself earlier. For you pretty was usually ‘Well you are pretty for a fat chick.’ Like all you were meant to be was a good time and nothing more. Claude might not have said it like that or even knowingly used it, but the cruel part of your mind twisted her innocent words into that. And it just added to your earlier worries.
Your students milled around, taking out their science books for their class and you took a deep breath to shut out the bad thoughts plaguing you. Opening your eyes you grabbed the drawing you were growing attached to and put it in your desk's locked drawer, not wanting to share the moment Steve etched with anyone else.
“How about that Italian place in town? I know it's pricey, but a girl is gonna be impressed if you take her out to someplace where you have to make reservations and wear a tie.” Edgar offered a solution as Curtis debated all weekend on what is the best kind of spot to take you.
Basically, Edgar was saying someplace Curtis would feel out of place. Did he even own a tie?
Curtis gave a typical shrug of his shoulder while his finger hovered over your number. All he had to do was press down. He really wanted to finalize a date and treat you out somewhere nice. He could just picture you dressing up and that sweet smile making you glow happily. Which is something he wanted to be the cause of. Edgar was an insistent voice breaking him from his daydreaming thoughts.
“Sure it is a Italian restaurant but they probably have the descriptions in English. Or will tell you if you ask. You said you would take her anywhere, girls are impressed with nice places, Curtis.”
“I can read Italian, Edgar.” Curtis “Well enough to know what’s on the menu.”
“You can?” Edgar asked with some admiration.
“Posso parlare un po' anche io.” Curtis set his phone down, still hovering on some uncertainty about where to take you. “My grandmother was fluent.”
“You were the one just saying you wanted to do something special for her. A move like this will guarantee a second date. Trust me, it's what I would do. Imagine whipping out the Italian while ordering.” Edgar was already looking up the number and texted it to Curtis, clearly excited about his friends' prospects of securing another date.
“I can't believe I’m taking your advice.” He grumbled some more as he dialed your number. It went to voicemail, considering it was midday on a Monday, he figured you were probably in class. “Hey Y/N, this is Curtis. If you are free Wednesday night, I would love to take you out for dinner.”
From beside him, Edgar was giving him a thumbs up. He was about to put his phone away when it immediately rang in his palm, making him swipe at the answer button when he saw your number come up on the screen.
“I just finished class and saw you called.” Your tone was bright and almost breathless like you were rushing to get the words out to him. It made Curtis hopeful. “I would love to go out Wednesday. What time would you like to meet?”
Edgar was making wild hand gestures throwing out times at him. Curtis bared his teeth and shoved Edgar away from him. “Six sound good? I can come to pick you up.”
“It’s a date. I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Same Y/N.” He glared at an obviously enthusiastic Edgar. “See you Wednesday, I gotta head back to work now.” After they said their goodbyes, he flipped Edgar off who was shouting at Tanya in the office.
“The grump has a date T!”
Curtis was just leaving to head back outside when Tanya’s voice sounded behind him. “About time! He going to take her to that Italian place I told you about?”
You had spent all afternoon after work going through your closet trying to find just the right kind of outfit. A few text exchanges led you to find out that the restaurant Curtis had reserved was one of the nicest in town. Your outfit choice was one you hadn’t worn since New York, but it felt good to dress up again, a loose sweater dress with a cinch around your midsection gave you a bit more of an hourglass figure. You opted for some leggings to keep your legs warm and a nice pair of boots. Your hair was freshly washed with your favorite shampoo, a hint of honeysuckle from your body wash and the final touch was dark red lipstick that you were very precise in applying. It was your favorite autumn color and saved for special occasions, which your first date in almost a year most certainly was.
While you were double checking your clutch you heard your phone buzzing. Answering, you heard Curtis on the other end telling you he was there but not entirely sure which apartment was yours. You quickly tapped out a message back saying you would be right down. Grasping a cardigan and clutch you were out the door and downstairs within a few moments.
When you stepped out, Curtis was tugging on a slightly out-of-place tie and trying to readjust a shirt that was stretched tightly over his chest. Other than that, it was very much what you expected from him, his beanie pulled snuggly over his buzzed head and his long black coat sweeping around him. It was endearing and something about this giant of a man dressing up to take you out made you feel special and desired.
As soon as he saw you, you saw his mouth snap shut as his gaze took you in. Fiercely blue eyes roved for a moment before snapping back to your face like he was caught doing something he shouldn't. “You look so pretty Y/N.”
There was that word again, you winced inwards at it. But he was so genuine that you accepted the compliment with thanks and brushed it off. It made his jaw tick a moment before he offered his arm. “I mean it Y/N, you really look beautiful.” Apparently, you weren't gonna get away with contradicting his compliments.
“Thank you Curtis, you are quite handsome yourself.”
This time it was genuine, not a brush off of disbelief that he could possibly find you attractive in the sense of beautiful. Claude's voice was an annoyance at the back of your mind. Well, you are pretty cute. You two can have a good time.
You were pretty and hell worth a lot more than just a good time you firmly reminded yourself.
Feeling better about yourself, you wrapped your arm around his and let him escort you to his truck. “I'm gonna need a step ladder to get in Curtis.” You joked and he opened the door, winking.
“Nah Honey, I got you.” A voice as smooth as the sweetness he just called you. “Can I touch you?”
You were in a bit of a daze when you nodded a yes. His hands fell to your waist, a warm and heavy touch, making your toes curl at the way he easily could lift you. Curtis helped ease you in like you weighed nothing, not even a grunt of effort was dropped. Once he was sure you were comfortable inside and he joined you behind the wheel.
“Have you ever been to Va Bene?”
“No, it was a very persistent suggestion by my friends Edgar and Tanya.” Curtis chuckled softly.
“Well, I’m very much looking forward to trying it out Curtis. Thank you for taking me.” You reached over, your touch brief but enough to make him smile to himself at the gesture.
“It really is my pleasure Y/N.” The talking drifted to about how one another's day had gone, him relaying about his crew's mayhem that made you laugh, sharing about how similar they were to your classroom antics.
Va Bene was a formal place, Curtis tugged once more at his tie now that he was missing his favorite hat and jacket, those were left back in the truck. You two were brought to the table he had reserved for the evening by a cheerful hostess who hovered long enough to make sure you two were satisfied with the seating. You hovered a moment while looking over the chair, it was as you expected, a whimsical thin legged chair that always made you nervous. Cautiously you sat down and when you felt the chair was sturdy, let yourself take a breath. Even Curtis looked a bit crowded at the small table for two.
Aside from that, it was in a lovely spot near the windows that overlooked the dying light on Lake Superior, hues of red and orange glimmered off the water just outside, there were a few boats at the dock near the restaurant and the outdoor patio was currently closed off for the season, but you could easily see why this restaurant would be so popular. The waiter poured you both a swallow of wine in glasses, and Curtis took a sip, glancing at you to make the final decision.
You took a sip as well and looked down at it before setting the wine glass down. “It’s good.” When the waiter offered you more you took it and Curtis did as well.
Now it was just the two of you left with menus that both of you skimmed over. It all looked excellent, but it was just a bit out of your element. You would have killed for a burger and fries, once in a while, you glanced at Curtis over your menu who seemed just as lost as you were in the moment. “So um, any idea of what to have?” He asked, seeming to look for some idea among the options, his own eyes darting over his menu at you.
You flashed a smile before closing the menu and leaning closer to him to take a chance on your haunch. Crooking a finger so he would lean in close to hear you. “Listen, I love this effort, honestly. But I’m so feeling a burger and fries, how about you?” You took your chance, hoping that you weren't making a negative lasting impression on him.
“Was I that obvious?” Curtis sighed with his own crooked smile and you reached over to place a hand on his arm, giving a slight squeeze.
“Maybe, but listen. I am so down for that… how about we steal this bread basket and book it?”
Curtis was all up for that. When the waiter came back, the table was empty short of a few swallows of wine and missing bread.
Laughing, you two stumbled outside of the restaurant, snapping into some crunchy breadsticks and strolling back to his truck. “I should have just asked you where you wanted to go. Edgar insisted that this was the place to be.”
“It was nice, but I want you to enjoy yourself too.” You leaned over to loosen his tie for him and pulled it out of its place. “And I don't know, this just doesn't seem like it, Curtis. How about you show me something you like to do?”
Curtis gave it some thought as you both approached the truck once more. This was new to him, never before had his date asked him what he wanted to do. You were patient, folding up his tie in your hands. Curtis then tilted his head to look up at the twilight sky that was quickly growing darker by the minute. He gave a bit of a smile that eased the stress in his features. “I have an idea.”
“In the words of Bilbo Baggins, I’m going on an adventure!” You stated with enthusiasm and let Curtis help you back into the truck. This time you were a bit more prepared for how easily he lifted you off the ground, making a very pleasing and exciting thrill race through you at the sensation. While he settled back in, you tossed the tie up on his dashboard, glad that he was no longer nervously fidgeting but seemed much more relaxed.
The first stop was to pick up just what you had suggested earlier, burgers and fries. Curtis took you to a small food truck that he promised made excellent food and after a moment of checking out the small menu, you told him your order. Once you both had hot styrofoam containers in hand, he then drove away from the city area, working on getting away from all the bright lights. Turning onto a back road, you started to see fewer and fewer houses and far fewer lights.
But the night sky here was so bright that you couldn't help leaning against the truck's window glass looking up.
“It's so beautiful.”
“It is.” Curtis said simply as he started to slow down a bit and turned on his four wheel drive to go off road into a tree lined field. Putting it in park, he killed the headlights and engine and then slid out while grabbing the bag of food. You scooted across the bench seat and let him help you out as well since you didn't dare make the short jump in the shoes you happened to wear for tonight.
Together you two went to the tailgate and when he dropped it, his hands hovered near your hips. “Let me help you up Y/N, it's a ways up there.” He teased and you scoffed.
“We can’t all be six foot something.” You joked back but giving a nod of approval, he so easily perched you on the edge, making you feel that rush as you gasped, your hands grabbing his biceps in the action to brace yourself. The muscles were firm in your hold, flexing so easily that he made you feel almost weightless.
Curtis couldn't help loving that feeling that he really shocked you, your beautiful eyes widened at him in surprise and your easily kissable lips curved in a way that seemed to come so easily to you. His fingers flexed against your waist, reluctant to let you go now that he had you in his hold.
Now that you were perched on the tailgate, easily face to face with him, you reached out and brushed your fingers through his beard, your eyes roaming over his features.
He felt your gaze really sink in, the spark of arousal in your depths that almost compelled him to claim that kiss he so wondered about. Your lips were parted, your breaths a rush of excitement and time just stalled while your touch was so fluttering, everything he had imagined and not nearly enough. Your fingers, he wanted them everywhere on his body, not just brushing along his jawline in a sense of wanting more mirroring in your features. They must have looked similar to his own.
Those quiet seconds stretched for Curtis, his jaw clenched then relaxed under your touch, your gaze wanting and curious when he locked eyes with you. It was only inches that you two would have to close, the ache to kiss you stirring excitement in his veins. But he hesitated, a moment too soon and your hand fell away, leaving you retreating your warmth that he craved so much. It wasn't the right moment, and he backed away while clearing his throat, pulling himself up next to you.
He sat close enough so that the side of his thigh pressed against yours and was rewarded with you leaning into him a bit, sharing each other's warmth in the cool autumn night. Curtis might not have taken that kiss yet, but he was happy with this moment as well.
“I know it’s not that fancy dinner from before…” Curtis started, starting to let doubts creep in his mind that this was just too simple. What had he been thinking of taking you out like this? People expected to have fun and excitement, not sitting around in the middle of nowhere.
You shook your head, reaching behind you for the containers you two had picked up earlier.
“This is perfect Curtis, it smells amazing.” You started as you handed him one and set yours to the opposite side of you, popping the top. “We have the most amazing view. I haven't seen this many stars since I went camping as a kid.” You popped a crunchy sweet potato fry in your mouth. “And I got the best seat for it.” You nudged your shoulder against his and he relaxed.
He picked up his own burger and flipped the top open to try his own food. “So Curtis, you know I’m a middle school teacher, but well… I never did ask you that day what your job actually was?”
Taking a bite of his burger, he pulled out a piece of bacon to enjoy it all on its own. “Diesel mechanic and welder for the freight yard. I also help Gilliam with odd jobs like unloading and shipping/storage of the container yard.” He offered you the last bite of his bacon, which you leaned forward and took it with your mouth, causing your lips to brush against his fingertips and logical thought once more escaped his head as it was all he could think about.
Arching your brows as you chewed the salty crispy bite. “How did you get into all that?” you asked curiously.
He gave a little shake of his head to bring him back into the moment.“Well my grandfather worked there and was good friends with Nam, the owner. So I went there after school for a couple of years till I graduated. Then I went off to a trade school to become certified. When I came back, Nam set me up in the Duluth branch working under Gilliam. I like it, the work speaks to me. I've always been interested in rebuilding machines and engines.”
You dunked a fry into the sauce you chose, considering what he was saying. An analytical mind that liked puzzles. Then the more carnal side was picturing him covered in motor grease and coming home filthy. Your thighs literally squeezed together at the image and you were quick to stuff the fry in your mouth before you said or did something you might regret later because of your lust filled thoughts.
It went silent for a few minutes as you two just ate. You offered your sweet potato fries for him to try and you giggled at the way his brow furrowed in doubt. “Are they even safe? I don't know Y/N.”
“I promise if it kills you, you can haunt me.”
“You gonna call me Casper the friendly ghost?” He countered as he plucked at a couple and let them hover near his mouth. “French fries are not supposed to be sweet.”
“Nope, Curtis the mechanic ghost. What is it going to take you to try one?” You arched a brow as you stole some of his regular fries and snapped into them with a challenging grin.
“I can think of a few things Y/N.” He muttered and you felt your mind swarm with all that could possibly insinuate.
“Can’t believe I’m gonna eat this vegetable for you.” He glared at you and finally ate it, you watched closely before he gasped, clutching at his chest and falling back against the truck bed. You couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up from your chest. Curtis wrapped an arm around your middle, pulling you to fall back as well next to him, your head cushioned on his bicep. Tilting your head to look over at him with an unrestrained giggle.
“I thought you were supposed to be dead? You are not playing the part of Curtis the mechanic ghost very well.”
“This is me haunting you. Your vegetables did kill me.”
“You really didn’t like them even just a little bit Curtis?”
He laughed and tilted his head to look at you, your noses almost touching. “Actually they were pretty good. Might steal another one.”
“You have to fight me for that.” You whispered, letting the tip of your nose rub against his. Curtis pushed up to loom over you, his eyes roaming up your face and cocking a dark brow in challenge.
“I will give it my best attempt Honey.” His tone dropped, having lost that playfulness from before. Now it was more, wanting, the two of you so close to tipping into a kiss. Your breath caught in your chest as you looked up into his eyes and dropped back to his lips. You wanted it, you really did. At your sides, your hands fisted to keep from pulling him in close to crash against you.
Curtis though did it for you, his lean in pressed gently against the length of your body and lips slid against yours in a soft gesture that left you wanting more. Now your hands needed something more to grab onto, grasping his jacket lapels and twisting your fingers into the fabric when he came for a second one. Pressing harder, and a slight parting of your lips was an invitation for him to deepen the kiss.
Curtis never meant to press this far, but the moment you sighed satisfied after the first one, he let himself stop holding himself back. The way you responded just added to it and his hand was cupping your face to hold you still, exploring you with a gentle intimacy. Your body pressed slightly against his tensed body although he held himself up with one arm. How would it feel to just sink against you, he imagined it would feel better than he could fathom and would never want to leave.
It wasn't till his lungs burned and when you wavered in a slight gasp against his mouth did he pull away, sliding to roll to his back and taking a deep breath, committing to his memory all that he loved about that kiss. The way you tasted, smelled, those soft little whimpers at the moments, and the way you had grasped his jacket to hold onto him. All those things would sit in his mind for a while.
You caught your breath, staring up at the night sky in a slight daze, your lips still tingled and you felt warm and pleasantly aroused yet sated all over. This bit of intimate connection had been the first in a long time and you soaked in the sensations it caused. Your hand reached for his and tangled your fingers through his, just needing that slight connection while you came down from the rush.
Curtis squeezed back but didn't break the silence of the moment, not until he started looking up at the night sky and started to pick out the constellations overhead.
Raising his hand to point one out. “There is Pegasus just over us.” His hand was sweeping in a box shape, but you tilted your head back enough to look directly up to where he was pointing at the stars, now bright twinkles in the inky blue-black sky.
You tried to see what he was seeing but completely missed it among all the stars that seemed scattered without care. “I don't know anything about the constellations Curtis.” You admitted and he tilted his head towards yours, still looking up so he could see from your angle.
“See those bright stars right in the middle? They make a square and then veer off to the end like straight lines. That's Pegasus.” He pointed them out again and you saw them. “Then breaking right off from the pegasus side, that's Andromeda.”
You were able to follow now, looking for the other points he was pointing out. “I know the story of Pegasus, being born after slaying the gorgon sister Medusa. But not Andromeda's story.”
“Ahh, she was the chained lady. Her mother bragged about her beauty which enraged the nymphs. In turn, Poseidon demanded retribution for their anger. She was chained to a rock at the sea’s edge as a punishment for her beauty. But she was saved in the end.” Curtis assured you.
“What else is up there?” You questioned him and Curtis studied the stars a bit before pointing out more. The rest of the evening was spent picking out the constellations and discussing the stories behind them.
annaxmalina
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