No. She outright refuses to take his hand again. Her own fear is palpable and she doesnât want to give him a reason to start spewing that nonsense of visions again⊠It doesnât matter if sheâs seen them. She canât believe it. It doesnât make sense and therefore isnât logical to accept as the truth. Eyes watch his hand inching closer, pleading. Alice fights the urge to appease him. She owes him nothing.
â You know nothing. â She can get up on her own now that heâs standing and away from her. A part of her wants to smack his hand away. The fear that sheâll lose sight again stops her. Itâs gas. Weâre hallucinating. Thereâs a leak somewhere. But all she sees is an open forest with that fresh Maine air and the birds chirping. They wouldnât be here if there was something wrong.Â
She uses the tree beside her rather than his help but breath hitches when he says her name. Itâs a lucky guess. Picked the first name that starts with A. Isnât that how her mother chose her name? That wasnât always my name. Why does she think that?Â
â I⊠â Sheâs only just gotten up but maybe she needs to lie down. Itâs all a bit too much for her. â I donât need your help. â Standing up straight, Alice pushes away from the tree. â This is crazy⊠Youâre crazy! Iâm⊠Iâm crazy⊠â Maybe itâs the drinking water⊠Palms press against her temples, eyes wide. What is she supposed to do with this? What are they supposed to do?
â Okay⊠Okay. â Breathe, child. Breathe. â Say this is all real. Everything. What do you expect me to do? What do you want from me? Huh? If thatâs another life, what about this one? What happened? â What does he want her to do now? People saw them running into the woods. Surely theyâll be investigating as all small town people do. Gossip travels fast.Â
â I donât think I can do this⊠even if it is real⊠â
âI donât - â Breath hitches in his chest as grey blue hues study her, teeth worrying at an already cracked bottom lip. âI donât know.â That right there is the crux of the problem .. isnât it? Graham Humbert is the sheriff, the one the town counts on to keep his head, to stay focused in the face of a problem - and yet, when he looks at her .. all reason seems to evade him, thoughts turned awry by the instinct that he knew her, that he does know her. The situation leaves him reeling - what has he done? Chased a woman into the woods? Why would he do that? - so one hand rises up, palm pressing against the trunk of the nearest tree. The bark is rough under his skin, kept cool by shadows from the leaves above - but it does nothing to ground him, to stop him .. and the world keeps reeling, spinning on its axis like a merry go round he canât control.
So many things are different - nothing feels right. Thereâs a hollow in his chest, an ache that longs to be filled .. an instinctual loneliness that grows deeper each and every day. Was he sick? Was he crazy? Were the words spilling from her lips really all that far from the truth? âIâm not crazy - â His free hand raises as if to reach for her again but hesitates, turning instead to run rough fingers over the badge at his belt. Itâs a reminder - a reminder that he has to keep his head, has to figure this out. He canât act like a lunatic, canât scare her more than he already has - so Graham takes a deep breath in an effort to steady his words and heart. â - And I donât think youâre crazy either.â
She hasnât punched him or ran off again, a fact that gives him courage - so black boots step forward the slightest bit, hand sliding off its perch. The ground shakes when he does so, a dizzying effect that has him lurching on his feet - once again the situation has the world spinning, has thoughts spinning .. but he forces logic to the front of his brain, forces reason. âIâm not saying that - â What does he call it? â - that this is real .. but you feel it too. So that means something, right?âÂ
Throat closes up, muscles tensing as he searches for some way to further explain, some way for them both to understand. âYou feel it too, I can see that.â Head cocks to the side, grey eyes darkened by emotion - sadness, longing, regret .. itâs all there. âIf youâre crazy, if Iâm crazy - then why would it be the same for us both?â Weight shifts as if in an attempt to move closer, but instead Graham takes a step back, opening the distance between them. Heâs not going to push, not going to force her to stand in the damn forest with a man who is no doubt scaring her out of her mind - but voice thick with brogue drops once more, words low as if afraid to further spook her. âTrust me.. Alice.â Emphasis is once again placed on her name - where it came from, how it came to mind so easily, is a question heâll ask himself later.Â
â Iâm not - Iâm not trying to hurt you. I feel ..Nothing makes sense anymore. Before you, I - â Mouth opens and closes soundless as if searching for the right words, the right explanation. How does one describe the feeling of not belonging, the feeling of existing in a world that youâre not sure you even still believe in. â - You .. just looking at you, talking to you - â Blue grey hues return once more to his face, expression falling as if in understanding that she is sure to leave - that she no doubt will vanish with him left in the dust. What does he do then? â - you make me feel like I have a chance at living again, of fitting in. Iâm missing something, I donât know what - but, you. I think you can help me find it.â