i’ve been drawing and watching anime since i could remember! been on tumblr since 2012 but i still don’t know wtf i’m doing even after all these years. i wrote some fanfics back in the day too and it's a hobby i'd like to develop (back in my day, we called smut lemons)
this is a space to dedicate my works so you may see me follow and reblog from @honey-deku (personal blog, main) instead
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𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃 DNI 𓂃𓂃𓂃
gen AI, racists, terfs, antis, homophobes, purists, people who cannot differentiate reality from fiction, minors, or extremists.
if you don't like, don't read.
now i can't stop everyone from seeing my blog and it can't really be enforced, i get that, but the moment i suspect you may meet the criteria, it's an immediate block
oh to be pinned down by Suo as he pounds into you from behind, interlocking his fingers with yours, whispering sweet nothings into your ear before he nibbles on it
gaaaa daem i have not been on here in a hot minute how is everyone?
i am fine! just finished classes, going to see family soon and then start job hunting afterwards. i hope everyone has been doing well!
i havent forgotten these fics! just been consumed by irl stuff but ill be around more often! good to see everyone again!
I am here to tell you that a lot of time has passed between the summer exchange fic and now, and I'm still thinking about your Ennoshita fic.
Every time I want to feel cuddled and loved, I think of it fondly and read it again, because it brings me so much comfort and love.
The way you wrote it really makes it feel like someone is giving you a hug and being pampered :3
Also it makes me want to have someone massaging me like Ennoshita does to y/n but alas! I have to do it on my own heh :3
ILY!!!!!! I hope one day I get to be lucky enough to beta read one of your wonderful fics again, mwah!
ahhh Guyita chan! i was so genuinely surprised to see you here! and omg thank you so much for this! looks like Ennoshita has a long line of clients outside the health clinic wanting to see him hehe what a popular guy!
don't worry he'll call you if a client cancels their appointment and you can go see him sooner <3 man what i wouldnt give to get a massage rn too honestly! ngl i think i projected a little hard while writing that fic and im glad it had the intended effect i wanted on readers (๑>ᗜºั)
yeah you feel that knot in your neck? Ennoshita will take care of that! thank you Guya (❀ •̀ᴗ•́ )♡(^ε^ )Lᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ
besotes amigui!! (づ ￣ ³￣)づ <3 i love you too! im always thinking about what our next conversation will be about and where it'll take us! adult life sucks ass but at least i know i got you around and you make everything thing feel much lighter and brighter! next time im whipping up another WIP, ill pass it your way (* ^◇^)_旦
have a great night y descansa!
year for year it's my greatest honor to host a gift exchange for all these incredibly talented and kind-hearted writers! together we wrote over 175k words for this event (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ
my dear friends, i can only bow before your skill and the love for our craft. you never fail to leave me speechless with your creativity, diligence and unadulterated whimsy. thank you for participating and letting me give you another little homework for the little guys we adore so much. i admire all of you so deeply and consider myself lucky to know you ♡
… akira
@inkpetrichor · sol meu ; hinata
… april
@kentocalls · interlude ; zanka
… cube
@realcube · christmas temp ; osamu
… donna
@delirious-donna · a scarf's tale ; sugawara
… emma
@crushoncaleb · rudolph the red-faced security guard ; sakura
… fuji
@xstarjam · good neighbors ; osamu
… ix
@prettyiwa · there's only been you ; kita
… jelly
@megapteraurelia · on the measure of devotion ; sakusa
… kai
@rnikage · roman holiday ; nishinoya
… kai
@mythblossoms · layers ; matsukawa
… kaija
@purpleqilinwrites · a kind of romance ; ushijima
… klay
@tootsuro · home this christmas ; tsukishima
… koi
@kkotda · it's beginning to look a lot like christmas ; tsukishima
… ky
@saelynne · outlet ; kenma
… ky
@oleander-cup · heartless ; hoshina
… lale
@sodaneko · echoes ; atsumu
… lauren
@c1nna1nmyr0ll · could this be considered a meet cute? ; akaashi
… len
@tsukisangel · the christmas eve tradition & the christmas eve confession ; tsukishima & kenma
… marti
@haikyu-mp4 · the first move ; daichi
… melk
@paperspirits · nothing sweeter than you ; atsumu
… michelle
@blushinggray · wanderland ; nishinoya
… mickey
@blueflamebimbo · hunting for warmth ; kuroo
… mirka
@mirkaaaluv · new year, new beginnings ; franky
… misttiique
@misttiique · hold my heart ; kuroo
… moon
@rosesforshoto · the first snowfall ; osamu
… nico alex
@honey-decadence · underneath it all ; aran
… punk
@punk-spic3y · something more ; hanamaki
… remus
@remuswriting · you're like my other half ; oikawa
… robin
@umesakus · nothing new ; iwaizumi
… runa
@runaarinn · back to you ; asahi
… stellar
@stellar-haikyuu · if these walls could talk ; kenma
… violet
@antique-remains · almost quiet ; atsumu
… wyr
@ottocre · the kita farm's own nimrod ; kita
… yuri
@tyga-lily · paradise ; tendou
previous events: summer fic exchange & secret santa 2024
Your teammate, Aran Ojiro, requests for your help but in a really, unorthodox way. He begs you to play the part of his boyfriend.
The worst part is, you've already fallen for him long before. Hell, he didn't even have to ask. But he sure looked cute doing so.
Happy holidays @remuswriting !
I hope you enjoy your gift! It was challenge to pull this together but I really had a lot of fun coming up with this one! Aran is such a dreamboat and I'm so happy for the opportunity to finally write a fic with him. I hope you enjoy your present!
Ofc shout out to my big sis @sodaneko for hosting this wonderful event <3
One last shout out for a homie named @hiraethwa who came in clutch and gave tremendous feedback <33
Pairing: Aran Ojiro x Masc Reader (they are both on the men's volleyball team for uni)
Themes: University setting, fake dating, slow burn, very cute and wholesome moments, a pinch of wit from reader, lots and lots of yearning
CW: A very mild dash of angst or dread (assumptions are made) that get resolved, nothing intense
WC: 5,772
"Come on please!" he pleaded. "Ya gotta help me here!"
Aran clasped your hands in desperation, squeezing them just enough to get his point across, enough to make your heart leap out of your mouth.
You took a deep breath before responding, your brain unable to catch up to speed with the situation that was unfolding upon you; your mind felt like static, unable to tune into anything as you desperately tried to find the right words to say. Anything.
After some short time ruminating, you stammered:
"Soooo… you w-wanna be pretend boyfriends? J-Just because..?"
"Because I don't think his person is takin’ the hint…." Aran sighed. "I don't wanna be rude or nothin’ but this guy is… persistent." His broad shoulders drooped in defeat, his eyes looked into yours begging, almost crying for help.
"Aran" you continued, "we're… this other guy.. won't.." you paused for a brief period before finishing your train of thought. "You can't just tell him no?" you blurted.
"Look it's all a little more complicated than what it seems, I'll explain to ya later but please help me." Aran took a small step closer, his face leaning closer to yours, close enough to see and feel his breath warm your face, contrasting with the piercing cold temperature outside.
What he said next was really what had sealed your fate, looking back on everything now; how this next phrase seemed to have glided off his lips so naturally and almost.. rehearsed, made you fall for your teammate even harder that day:
"Yer the perfect guy for this sorta thing Y/N, I'm putting all my faith in ya OK? See you at practice then!"
'23:23' you thought to yourself, staring at your alarm clock, unable to stop ruminating over today's events.
You could still feel the warmth of Aran's hands over yours as you laid in bed. You tried your hardest to imitate that warmth, to replicate that feeling again by cupping one of your own hands over the other, tightly squeezing your fingers the way Aran did earlier today.
But it was no use, your heart longed to feel his hands clasping yours again, something that only this man was able to do for you. Only his radiance would do.
You turned over to your side and curled up under the covers, taking deep and long breaths as you tried to imagine Aran behind you, holding you and shielding you from the cold. You felt that similar squeamish feeling build up in your gut, the all too familiar feeling of crushing, daydreaming, imagining scenarios in your head about who ever caught your eyes and stole your heart.
'Just how did this crush even begin?' You questioned yourself, replaying and rewinding those memories from earlier this year, reevaluating where it all began:
Aran was your teammate for the university's volleyball team, a newbie who just started this year and already he was outshining some of your guy's senpais, earning him much deserved praise and some undeserving envy from others. He easily made it into the starting lineup as the main opposite hitter, standing proud and sometimes even taller than some of the upperclassmen.
From the get-go this first year was a force to be reckoned with. Everyone had the same thought about Aran; just how did he not get scouted already?
From the moment he stepped into that gym during the spring, Aran carried this calm and reassuring aura that quickly became fierce and competitive, audacious on the court. You've lost count of how many times Aran has served the ball out of bounds now, it happened often enough that you and the rest of the team have to remind him to calm down and only hit the ball with enough force to shake the team, not the damn stadium.
Aran was powerful yet gentle, strong but selfless, brilliant and blinding others in his radiance. To say you were crushing on him was an understatement; you fell hard. You wanted to study and analyze him, dissect his actions and take educated guesses on what he was going to do and say, write a mental report on all your findings and epiphanies on this man, a man you fixated so much on.
You were only a year older than him and Aran approached you just as he did to all his upperclassmen: respectful, humble, and pleasing, almost script-like. It was expected however, that was the custom here in this island nation, to get along with everyone and work together, making sure everyone is treated with respect and what not.
His true personality made its debut here however; he was your typical first year with a lot of energy and charisma and he didn't shy away from vocalizing his victories or frustrations; the way that he'd do this was never obnoxious, loud, or in any way that disturbed the peace however.
Instead Aran's presence was like a calm before the storm; it was a quiet and unshakable confidence that both eased people and annoyed those envious of him and his skills. Aran didn't need to show off to compensate for anything, he didn't need to utter a single word to prove his worth on the team, Aran didn't have to answer to anyone, almost like he stuck with that upperclassmen mentality from his high school career.
Being the responsible senpai that you were, you of course helped out Aran however you could, guiding him around the gym, the locker rooms, even walking him to classes during that first month of the spring semester to help him settle into his new environment. Again, it was sort of expected of all the senpais to help out the rookies in some way.
Evident by his accent, he was completely new here; you found that kansai dialect of his so endearing about him and despite being such a giant himself, towering over everyone on campus, he was so curious and looked at everything with this child like wonder, always asking questions upon questions about the prefecture, what was different, what he wished he could have brought over from home, all sorts of tidbits that he'd share with you.
You felt the budding of a new friendship blossom soon afterwards.
Months would go by and it was clear that he felt close to you, given how you were always his go to senpai for anything, how he would ask for you whenever you weren't present at practice, running up to you at the start of this fall semester to ask about your summer break.
To you, Aran wasn't just some annoying green underclassmen, you genuinely felt some affection for him over time, he brought the comfort you sought after in a partner, checking off all the boxes in your mind and those daydreams of him and you becoming more would become more frequent as the weeks flew by.
You even spoiled Aran with energy drinks or bottles of tea from the vending machines here and there after practice. Snacks were never out of the question either, leaving him notes with his potato chips or onigiri, each word written to encourage the young man before each competitive match or after each rough day of practice. Seeing his face light up as he found those drinks and snacks you snuck into his gym bag were always the highlight of your day.
You were like a pillar to him in retrospect and to you, he felt like home, cozy and safe, someone whom you could relax and be yourself with.
And what also really caught your eye about him was his command of the court, especially when he was up at the net and almost instilled terror on the opposite team's player, how his aura just beckoned you to set him a good toss, arming Aran with the weapon to slash through the opponent's defense and shatter not only their wall and confidence, but their low expectations of the team, completely changing the play of the game.
So to see your teammate beg for your help, a capable underclassman who you held in high regard, a powerful asset to the team that shot like a canon through every three man block with every spike he threw in every match, never once backing down or cowering from a challenge that confronted him in all the time you knew him, this same man was seeking your help. This unstoppable force on the court was stuck and asking you for help.
"Alright guys let's get going!" you shouted, instructing your teammates to tidy up the gym, preparing to head home after another long day of practice. From a distance across the gym you could see Aran cut his conversation short with another teammate as he politely excused himself, jogging over to help another teammate gather the drooping net off the floor as it was being untied.
You kept yourself busy with the other upperclassmen: some collecting the used and damp practice jerseys in the gym bags from the others, some shagging the balls off the court and into the cart whereas you and a few others walked over to lift the heavy metal poles from their places and carry them over to the storage room, all while a few of the underclassmen wiped the floors behind you guys.
As the gym filled with chitter chatter, you lost yourself in thought:
Since the day Aran had asked for your help, you hadn't pry too much about who this secret admirer was but if you had to guess, it was probably the gentleman whom Aran excused himself from moments ago.
Ever since that day, you've kept your eyes peeled around your crush, trying to discern who your competition was. You snickered a little to yourself as you retracted what you had just thought: maybe competition wasn't the right word but… who your rival was?
Or maybe you're the rival in this guy's story? Maybe you were his problem?
"Hey Y/N!" your peer called your attention. "Watch your fingers man! We almost dropped the damn thing on you!"
Reeling you back to the present, you quickly retracted your hands, not realizing you and the rest of the upperclassmen had already waltzed into the storage room and preparing to let down the pole. Hearing the loud clank of the metal poles bang against the others, your teammates just laughed at your surprised face.
"Lover boy is all distracted!" one guy teased.
"This guy? Nahhhh"
You playfully smacked your sarcastic teammate as he expressed his disagreement, joining in on their laughter. "What do you mean nahhh??"
Another one piped in "Is she pretty? Show us a photo man!"
You scoffed, pushing this one away "Yeah right, like I'd show you!"
"Alright" the captain intervened, "Let's go finish up, I got exams to study for and I'm sure you all do too"
You and the other senpais straightened up, everyone in unison giving a strong and hearty "Yessir!" before running back out to help out the underclassmen.
Your eyes scanned the gym and saw Aran wiping down a few balls with the same teammate from earlier close to his side once again.
You knew Aran wasn't into him at all, only politely entertaining the poor guy, no doubt chatting up your favorite kouhai with hearts in his eyes, desperately trying to get closer to Aran.
You almost felt pity for the other first year, knowing the heartbreak that was awaiting him whenever he decided to confess to Aran, how gloomy his winter break will be.
You shook your head, you couldn't watch any longer.
Running up behind Aran and your guy's teammate, you thought on your feet, linking your arm with Aran's and taking the gentle giant by surprise even and dragging him away from the ball cart, not daring to look back one.
Perhaps a little sadistic on your part, but, you had to hit the last nail on the coffin, you had to say something to have this guy take the hint as Aran wished and be over with it.
Turning to face Aran, you smiled warmly at him before speaking, making sure to speak a few lines above the volume of the busting gym and enunciating with clear and direct precision:
"Aran darling, we're going to be late for our study session! Help me take a few bags to the storage room please? Thank you~"
At the university cafe, your guy's textbooks were splayed out, more so for display than for actual studying admittedly. All to better blend into the atmosphere of the quiet cafe.
You took another sip of your coffee, blowing the steam off beforehand and enjoying the bitter flavors meshing with the sweet and creamy flavors of the Hokkaido cream winter special syrup they mixed into before sheepishly looking into Aran's eyes, scowling at you.
You felt so conflicted, you knew your approach to this fake dating was too strong, too direct, something Aran was hoping to avoid.
And yet, you couldn't help but do it, especially how fueled by Aran's reaction, the way his brows furrowed at you was just… cute. His pout made your heart skip and leap all over your ribcage and insides, every passing second you found it harder and harder to suppress your smile, to stop your leg bouncing from joy and excitement.
"Would ya stop smilin' like that?"
"Are you actually upset? He didn't approach you after practice, right?"
"No but I didn't expect ya to be that forward, ya'know. Didn't I say I didn't wanna be rude to this guy?" Aran sighed exasperatedly.
Taking another sip of your coffee, you extend your finger towards your teammate, smirking as you did so.
"Yeah, you don't have to be rude but I sure as hell can. Wasn't I a great fake boyfriend Aran?" you chuckled. "I could've been more blunt you know"
His face remained furrowed, unchanging as he stared you down. The only detriment was that the more he did this, the more it made you want to rile him up some more. Maybe say a few more out of pocket things in front of that guy just to have Aran give you this same look again and again.
You took a deep breath and leaned your head back, surveying the decorations of the cafe: each corner was littered with holiday decorations and nostalgia inducing scents, driving you into a holiday induced trance. Your face broke out into a grin before you met eyes with Aran again, knowing just what to say next.
"Oh don't worry, it's only gonna get worse" you grinned amusingly.
No longer able to keep his displeasure, Aran's face broke into a smile, thinking back on the poor guy's face of disappointment. You could tell from his face and demeanor that though he would have preferred a softer approach but your route certainly was entertaining, no doubt about that.
"How exciting, my fake boyfriend is the jealous type." Aran chuckled before resting his head on his knuckles, bringing his lemon pastry to his mouth and taking a bite.
There was just something about that comment of his that made you so insanely… proud? You couldn't hold back some laughter, even if the other patrons of the cafe would turn to see the commotion.
His eyes flashed as Aran took another look at you, now his turn to smile deviously.
"Say, how do you feel about going to the movies sometime senpai?"
The thought mulled in your mind for a bit before responding, gambling with fate. 'Was Aran…? Could he…?' you wondered. You had figured that today's theatrics was enough for both him and your guys' teammate to end the semester with. No post exam confession ought to happen now, right?
Still, something told you to push the limits of this fake dating thing with Aran, plus it wasn't like you weren't enjoying yourself. It's not like you didn't take the opportunity to cling onto Aran earlier just for show. Secretly, that was something you had always longed to do, finally seizing that chance to get closer with him and have some contact with him.
Setting your cup down on the low coffee table, you leaned over slightly, inching closer to Aran's face just to gauge his reaction. doing everything in your power to feign this levelheaded and cool demeanor, you sealed your own fate:
"Yeah why not. You know I'm paying for you anyways" you sneered.
You sighed deeply, finally relaxing the strained muscles in your temples and the back of your neck in what felt like forever since the beginning of the semester. Hours ago in the late evening, you were finally able to shut off your brain and sleep the moment you plopped onto the bed, outdoor clothes and everything.
Your final exam was a doozy but you finally scraped by this semester, letting the weight of your eyes take control for what you thought would be 20 minutes.
….
…
..
.
And after some time tossing and turning, regaining consciousness, you lied half awake in bed in the depths of night. You really had to question what your own thought process here was because the first great idea you had after you and everyone else had finished a grueling 4 months of university was to see if Aran was awake at 3:57am.
And as expected, he wasn't. In your defense, he didn't reply immediately as he normally would but you knew he'd get back to you within a few hours from now. You felt confident about that.
In a failed attempt to go back to sleep, you started thinking back on the semester as the "fake boyfriend" of Aran. Your heart was beating faster and faster as you scrolled through all the text messages between you two, all the moments that made your stomach flip, all the moments that had you blushing, the late night talks, all of it.
You truly had dug your own grave at this point, there was no turning back, not a single chance to tap out now: you had only yourself to blame for this mess, this whirlwind of emotions that surged through you after every conversation, each practice, and especially after every"date".
Every date since then had only felt more and more real to you: at the movies, you could have sworn you saw Aran blush when his hands had brushed up against yours when you both reached for popcorn. After the movies, his eyes beamed when you offered your drink to him during the post credits scene.
'What a dork' you thought at the moment 'He got that excited for an indirect kiss? Why was he just so cute?".
Listening to Aran ramble about the movie was one of the most endearing things you sat through: how excited he felt when his favorite character made the scene and pulled off that impossible stunt, why this character spoke to him, what this fictional character meant to him and why he related so much to his troubles.
All this dissecting and analyzing of the film was just so… like him. Just like most other people, you first felt like Aran was unreadable, stoic, dare you even say, scary?
But one afternoon later after practice you realize how he truly was: a gentle giant, a goofy guy who just wants to enjoy the simple things in life, eat great foods, and relax after a hard day's work. Especially after he would recount stories to you about these two twins who almost would give Aran and his high school captain ulcers, you understood your teammate a little better.
You two were similar in that sense, you only attended university because it was what everyone else was doing but in reality, all you wanted was to settle down somewhere and enjoy life to its fullest. Might not be the most adventurous or dynamic way to live life but it was fulfilling to you.
You wondered if that's what drew you to Aran sometimes, if that calm force of his reeled you in like baited fish in the sea. Maybe… it was your own calm personality that hooked him onto you too.
After all, this is the same underclassmen who constantly looked your way after scoring, who asked for you if you missed practice, or who even tried to buy you drinks just as you would for him, pushing more and more until you caved and agreed to take his small act of kindness.
Had he felt the same?
Thinking back to another date that happened in a bookstore near the downtown area; this memory is forever etched into your mind.
While you were skimming through a sports magazine, Aran appeared behind you suddenly but his sudden appearance wasn't shocking or surprising, he felt welcoming in fact, he felt secure to you.
And as if that wasn't enough to have your face flush and feeling the scarf around your neck become suffocating and hot, Aran leaned over your shoulder and rested his head.
No warning, no words exchanged. Just plop.
There was no one around in this section of the bookstore, no one to witness this moment, no one to prove this fake love to. It was just him and you at that moment. It was so unnecessary when you thought about it from that point of view, but from how your heart saw things, it felt like he wanted to be as close as possible to you. Like Aran had run out of ideas and said "forget it" and just went for it.
'Had he planned this? Was he also …?' your mind had gone to a million different places and conclusions to and back at the speed of light and just as soon as it had happened, Aran began asking you questions about the magazine, acting as if he didn't just almost make your heart jump out of your mouth, still resting his head on your shoulder.
That look on his face was to die for. His smile was just so natural, unlike his smile during a disagreement amongst team members; this one wasn't cold at all. It was genuine. He really made himself comfortable with you. His voice and breath were so close to your ear, you practically melted then and there.
You quickly grabbed a plushie of yours, covering your face with it as you rolled onto your side, letting out a tiny shriek that rivaled a teapot. Everything else has been a barrage of small but meaningful interactions, each only making the butterflies in your stomach prance and flutter about more obnoxiously than the last recounting of dates and deep conversations.
You felt enamored.
Devoted.
Determined.
Scared.
Intoxicated.
Infatuated.
Romantic.
And the list goes on the more you spiraled.
You tossed and turned under the covers like a fish on a hot grill, unable to shake the thought of Aran once again, for god knows how long. Maybe this was the 3rd week in a row? You lost track.
And tomorrow was no different, you two had another date scheduled despite the semester having ended recently. This time it was going to be at the park close to the uni, though the dates had become less and less exciting and more mundane, more domestic if you will.
You two were at the point of this "fake relationship" where a simple, one man errand has to be completed with the other present.
You two had grown inseparable since then, that was undeniable. What you weren't sure about was how long this charade would last and this the one thing you found strange about all of this:
Aran hadn't pulled the plugs on any of this. His secret admirer had already left for his hometown and there wasn't any real reason to keep having these fake dates now.
And another thing that concerned you about tomorrow's date was what Aran had ended the conversation with, something that was unlike the other messages and good night farewells from the past few months. He seemed more serious from what you had interpreted, reading between the lines if you will.
After his last goodnight, he wrote:
"Oh my bad I forgot to tell ya earlier. I've been wanting to settle something with you for some time now. I'll see you tomorrow Y/N"
Your guts felt like it was filled with rocks in that instance, heavy and churning with anxiety.
You knew this day would come, the day your contract as a fake boyfriend to this handsome devil would end and it was to be expected.
Yet you wanted more of these fun dates with Aran, you wanted to be around him beyond practice time, you wanted to do more than just walk around town and watch movies together, you wanted to feel more of Aran beyond the time he rested his head on your shoulder.
If tomorrow was going to be the day that Aran rips the band-aid off, shattering those illusions of being the person he could call his beloved, then so be it.
But that still didn't ease your onset of heartbreak that was to come.You decided in this moment that should it come to that point, you were gonna give it a shot. You were going to ask him out, period.
Your eyes grew heavy the more you thought about what would happen tomorrow, all your theories and dreaming, predicting how tomorrow would play out lulled you into a deep slumber.
That was a feeling you couldn't shake off: something big was going to happen.
It was finally the big day, the day you somehow had been waiting 6 hours for and still felt anxious about, that same didn't rub off with sleep, no. It was as if it concentrated even more over night, that pressing thought of what was going to happen today wouldn't leave your mind as you headed inside the train and managed to find a seat in this morning Tokyo rush.
Today was just another "date", and even if the semester was over, you were going to enjoy this last date to the fullest. You were determined to confess to Aran at the end of today, expressing just how much he meant to you and what he brought into your life these past few months, this past semester no matter what happened. You would accept your fate no matter the outcome.
Your heart beat both with excitement and fear, trembling and smiling, you couldn't contain the jitters in your leg as it bounced feverishly.
Your designated stop wasn't for another 2 stops but yet the moment the train had come to a complete halt and opened the doors to the subway tunnel, you leap out of the cabin, speed walking through the crowds and up the stairs, zig zagging around the masses of salary man and tourists.
The cold winter air hit you once more as you surfaced to street level again, now jogging to your destination.
You needed the jitters out of your system before meeting up with Aran today and a good 10 minute walk in the freezing cold would cure that, you thought.
Heart racing and armed with a giant goofy smile, you continued your small sprint to the park that you two had agreed to meet at.
In no time, you had arrived at the park and saw the man of the hour: Aran sitting on the swing set , patiently awaiting your arrival and swinging gently in place. The moment he heard your footsteps crunch the gravel beneath you, Aran looked up, his expression brightening up, giddy to see you.
He sprang up from the swing and skipped over to you, his hot breath evaporating in the cold outdoors.
"Y/N! Everything ok? Ya didn't have any delays right?" he piped up.
Feeling a little guilty for arriving a few minutes after the expected meeting time, you let a white lie slip out, hoping Aran would be satisfied and not push the subject any further.
"I got off at the wrong stop. That's why I'm all warmed up now" you huffed, still trying to catch your breath from your slight jog. The cold and exercise was a much needed output for you, something to ease the nerves your stomach was brewing up.
Aran just smiled, titling his head before suddenly placing his leather gloved hand on your shoulder, gently squeezing before he unraveled the topic. The topic that's been on your mind since last night.
"Look" he started. "I wanna say thank you for everything Y/N. For agreeing to this crazy plan of mine".
His eyes burrowed into yours, practically anchoring himself onto you before his face turned serious.
'Ah here it is' you thought. 'This is where we part ways'.
Whether this was out of self preservation or already preparing yourself for heartbreak, you joked:
"Is this where we're "breaking up" Aran kun? Ouch.." feigning sarcasm, hoping to cover up any real pain and discomfort you felt for what was to come, an inevitable end.
You reached up to your shoulder and took your hand to Aran's, etching its warmth and sturdiness one last time before he'd end the deal. You promised yourself you wouldn't cry in front of him, not until Aran finished saying what he had to say.
Looking back into his eyes, you saw something… different. It wasn't a look that said "thanks for understanding", no. This was a sad puppy look.
Did… did your words get to him? Isn't that what he was going to do in the first place?
"Aran kun" you spoke calmly. "What's wrong?" cocking your head slightly.
Analyzing his face, what he said next blew everything out of the water, nothing would have prepared you for this.
Aran took a deep breath before making his next move:
"No… I don't want to break up. I… Do you know why I asked you to be my fake boyfriend Y/N?" his eyes looked at you, pleading for you to listen.
"Because you trusted me out of everyone?"
"That too but… I've always.. liked you"
A moment of silence passed, the only sounds that could be heard in the park were the crows in the background, almost laughing at what just happened, cawing audaciously.
Inside, you were panicking, the jitters had returned and much harder than ever, unable to contain the slight tremble in your hands and legs.
This wasn't the outcome you had expected. You didn't account for Aran to confess first, to beat you to the punch. You just assumed a lot of things but… not this.
Shaking, you took a step back but Aran pursued, taking a step towards you, not taking the chance for you to slip away.
"Y/N… I've liked you for a while now, every gift, every date, every dinner, it all felt so real to me. A-And I'm so sorry if you don't feel the same way, I just… I wanted a reason to hang out with you one on one and well… It was a dumb idea but… it worked. You actually agreed to hang out with me so.."
"Aran… I.. y-you?" you stammered, the gears in your brain still wiring about and processing all of this. Had it not been for the freezing cold, you would’ve fainted with your feet comically up in the air.
A part of you felt so relieved that he felt the same all this time, that this wasn't all in your head, all these moments where the tensions and feelings felt mutual.. really were just that. Mutual.
The underclassmen continued, now clasping both your hands and leaning in close, almost afraid to let you go.
"You've always been there for me, looking out for me however you could. Y/N.. I know you feel something too… right?"
Aran's expressions turned into a serious one, a little too much like the gaze he had before serving a ball. The concentration in his eyes however wasn't coming from trying to overpower and instill terror into the opposing team, instead the look in his eyes felt… soft, seeking your approval and dying for your answer. He was begging for your answer.
Maybe all the nerves in your body hadn't left yet, maybe you, for once, acted and thought later, maybe it was the act of releasing yourself from your own constraints around the man you've been crushing for so long but something made you take action.
And not one beat later, you leaned into Aran's face, sealing the gap with a kiss.
The world seemed to have stopped at the moment, even the gentle snowfall seemed to have paused in place as you sealed your fate. his lips cold at first but warmed up to yours, his eyes wide but slowly relaxing and closing the longer you two kissed. It was brief but your heart soared.
Your fate was sealed. And so was his.
Unlatching yourself from Aran, you took a close look at his face and started giggling, his expression was still in shock, his mouth open agape and his eyes practically bursting out of his skull as he just stood there, watching your next move. He just looked so cute, you couldn't help but follow up and tease him about it.
"Even after all that talk about feeling the same, you're still surprised Aran kun?" you hollered, clutching your stomach. "I've always liked you too, your hunch was right."
Composing himself after that short circuit, Aran straightened himself before continuing, chuckling with you.
"Hey hey, I just wanna make sure we're on the same page y'know?"
"We've been on the same page Aran. I'm.. so glad."
Aran couldn't help but blush at this, unable to tame that giddy smile of his as this one talk ended the way you both wanted, albeit with a little misunderstanding at first but it was now official:
You two were now happily together. A couple.
Suddenly, he grabbed your hand, slightly tugging towards him as he pulled you into a side hug, similar to the ones you two shared after winning matches at competitions but this time, it felt as if Aran put some "umf" into it and he gently squeezed you.
"Y/N, we gotta celebrate with some lunch now! You wanna go to your favorite restaurant? It's my treat!"
Your eyes squinted at him, smiling
"Aran I may be your boyfriend now but I'm still your senpai. I'm supposed to be the one to treat you! Come on, let's go!" You chirped, seizing his hand now and pulling him along, the two of you laughing and giggling as the snow fell.
snowflake divider credit to cursed-carmine and anitalerina for the other divider!
Your teammate, Aran Ojiro, requests for your help but in a really, unorthodox way. He begs you to play the part of his boyfriend.
The worst part is, you've already fallen for him long before. Hell, he didn't even have to ask. But he sure looked cute doing so.
Happy holidays @remuswriting !
I hope you enjoy your gift! It was challenge to pull this together but I really had a lot of fun coming up with this one! Aran is such a dreamboat and I'm so happy for the opportunity to finally write a fic with him. I hope you enjoy your present!
Ofc shout out to my big sis @sodaneko for hosting this wonderful event <3
One last shout out for a homie named @hiraethwa who came in clutch and gave tremendous feedback <33
Pairing: Aran Ojiro x Masc Reader (they are both on the men's volleyball team for uni)
Themes: University setting, fake dating, slow burn, very cute and wholesome moments, a pinch of wit from reader, lots and lots of yearning
CW: A very mild dash of angst or dread (assumptions are made) that get resolved, nothing intense
WC: 5,772
"Come on please!" he pleaded. "Ya gotta help me here!"
Aran clasped your hands in desperation, squeezing them just enough to get his point across, enough to make your heart leap out of your mouth.
You took a deep breath before responding, your brain unable to catch up to speed with the situation that was unfolding upon you; your mind felt like static, unable to tune into anything as you desperately tried to find the right words to say. Anything.
After some short time ruminating, you stammered:
"Soooo… you w-wanna be pretend boyfriends? J-Just because..?"
"Because I don't think his person is takin’ the hint…." Aran sighed. "I don't wanna be rude or nothin’ but this guy is… persistent." His broad shoulders drooped in defeat, his eyes looked into yours begging, almost crying for help.
"Aran" you continued, "we're… this other guy.. won't.." you paused for a brief period before finishing your train of thought. "You can't just tell him no?" you blurted.
"Look it's all a little more complicated than what it seems, I'll explain to ya later but please help me." Aran took a small step closer, his face leaning closer to yours, close enough to see and feel his breath warm your face, contrasting with the piercing cold temperature outside.
What he said next was really what had sealed your fate, looking back on everything now; how this next phrase seemed to have glided off his lips so naturally and almost.. rehearsed, made you fall for your teammate even harder that day:
"Yer the perfect guy for this sorta thing Y/N, I'm putting all my faith in ya OK? See you at practice then!"
'23:23' you thought to yourself, staring at your alarm clock, unable to stop ruminating over today's events.
You could still feel the warmth of Aran's hands over yours as you laid in bed. You tried your hardest to imitate that warmth, to replicate that feeling again by cupping one of your own hands over the other, tightly squeezing your fingers the way Aran did earlier today.
But it was no use, your heart longed to feel his hands clasping yours again, something that only this man was able to do for you. Only his radiance would do.
You turned over to your side and curled up under the covers, taking deep and long breaths as you tried to imagine Aran behind you, holding you and shielding you from the cold. You felt that similar squeamish feeling build up in your gut, the all too familiar feeling of crushing, daydreaming, imagining scenarios in your head about who ever caught your eyes and stole your heart.
'Just how did this crush even begin?' You questioned yourself, replaying and rewinding those memories from earlier this year, reevaluating where it all began:
Aran was your teammate for the university's volleyball team, a newbie who just started this year and already he was outshining some of your guy's senpais, earning him much deserved praise and some undeserving envy from others. He easily made it into the starting lineup as the main opposite hitter, standing proud and sometimes even taller than some of the upperclassmen.
From the get-go this first year was a force to be reckoned with. Everyone had the same thought about Aran; just how did he not get scouted already?
From the moment he stepped into that gym during the spring, Aran carried this calm and reassuring aura that quickly became fierce and competitive, audacious on the court. You've lost count of how many times Aran has served the ball out of bounds now, it happened often enough that you and the rest of the team have to remind him to calm down and only hit the ball with enough force to shake the team, not the damn stadium.
Aran was powerful yet gentle, strong but selfless, brilliant and blinding others in his radiance. To say you were crushing on him was an understatement; you fell hard. You wanted to study and analyze him, dissect his actions and take educated guesses on what he was going to do and say, write a mental report on all your findings and epiphanies on this man, a man you fixated so much on.
You were only a year older than him and Aran approached you just as he did to all his upperclassmen: respectful, humble, and pleasing, almost script-like. It was expected however, that was the custom here in this island nation, to get along with everyone and work together, making sure everyone is treated with respect and what not.
His true personality made its debut here however; he was your typical first year with a lot of energy and charisma and he didn't shy away from vocalizing his victories or frustrations; the way that he'd do this was never obnoxious, loud, or in any way that disturbed the peace however.
Instead Aran's presence was like a calm before the storm; it was a quiet and unshakable confidence that both eased people and annoyed those envious of him and his skills. Aran didn't need to show off to compensate for anything, he didn't need to utter a single word to prove his worth on the team, Aran didn't have to answer to anyone, almost like he stuck with that upperclassmen mentality from his high school career.
Being the responsible senpai that you were, you of course helped out Aran however you could, guiding him around the gym, the locker rooms, even walking him to classes during that first month of the spring semester to help him settle into his new environment. Again, it was sort of expected of all the senpais to help out the rookies in some way.
Evident by his accent, he was completely new here; you found that kansai dialect of his so endearing about him and despite being such a giant himself, towering over everyone on campus, he was so curious and looked at everything with this child like wonder, always asking questions upon questions about the prefecture, what was different, what he wished he could have brought over from home, all sorts of tidbits that he'd share with you.
You felt the budding of a new friendship blossom soon afterwards.
Months would go by and it was clear that he felt close to you, given how you were always his go to senpai for anything, how he would ask for you whenever you weren't present at practice, running up to you at the start of this fall semester to ask about your summer break.
To you, Aran wasn't just some annoying green underclassmen, you genuinely felt some affection for him over time, he brought the comfort you sought after in a partner, checking off all the boxes in your mind and those daydreams of him and you becoming more would become more frequent as the weeks flew by.
You even spoiled Aran with energy drinks or bottles of tea from the vending machines here and there after practice. Snacks were never out of the question either, leaving him notes with his potato chips or onigiri, each word written to encourage the young man before each competitive match or after each rough day of practice. Seeing his face light up as he found those drinks and snacks you snuck into his gym bag were always the highlight of your day.
You were like a pillar to him in retrospect and to you, he felt like home, cozy and safe, someone whom you could relax and be yourself with.
And what also really caught your eye about him was his command of the court, especially when he was up at the net and almost instilled terror on the opposite team's player, how his aura just beckoned you to set him a good toss, arming Aran with the weapon to slash through the opponent's defense and shatter not only their wall and confidence, but their low expectations of the team, completely changing the play of the game.
So to see your teammate beg for your help, a capable underclassman who you held in high regard, a powerful asset to the team that shot like a canon through every three man block with every spike he threw in every match, never once backing down or cowering from a challenge that confronted him in all the time you knew him, this same man was seeking your help. This unstoppable force on the court was stuck and asking you for help.
"Alright guys let's get going!" you shouted, instructing your teammates to tidy up the gym, preparing to head home after another long day of practice. From a distance across the gym you could see Aran cut his conversation short with another teammate as he politely excused himself, jogging over to help another teammate gather the drooping net off the floor as it was being untied.
You kept yourself busy with the other upperclassmen: some collecting the used and damp practice jerseys in the gym bags from the others, some shagging the balls off the court and into the cart whereas you and a few others walked over to lift the heavy metal poles from their places and carry them over to the storage room, all while a few of the underclassmen wiped the floors behind you guys.
As the gym filled with chitter chatter, you lost yourself in thought:
Since the day Aran had asked for your help, you hadn't pry too much about who this secret admirer was but if you had to guess, it was probably the gentleman whom Aran excused himself from moments ago.
Ever since that day, you've kept your eyes peeled around your crush, trying to discern who your competition was. You snickered a little to yourself as you retracted what you had just thought: maybe competition wasn't the right word but… who your rival was?
Or maybe you're the rival in this guy's story? Maybe you were his problem?
"Hey Y/N!" your peer called your attention. "Watch your fingers man! We almost dropped the damn thing on you!"
Reeling you back to the present, you quickly retracted your hands, not realizing you and the rest of the upperclassmen had already waltzed into the storage room and preparing to let down the pole. Hearing the loud clank of the metal poles bang against the others, your teammates just laughed at your surprised face.
"Lover boy is all distracted!" one guy teased.
"This guy? Nahhhh"
You playfully smacked your sarcastic teammate as he expressed his disagreement, joining in on their laughter. "What do you mean nahhh??"
Another one piped in "Is she pretty? Show us a photo man!"
You scoffed, pushing this one away "Yeah right, like I'd show you!"
"Alright" the captain intervened, "Let's go finish up, I got exams to study for and I'm sure you all do too"
You and the other senpais straightened up, everyone in unison giving a strong and hearty "Yessir!" before running back out to help out the underclassmen.
Your eyes scanned the gym and saw Aran wiping down a few balls with the same teammate from earlier close to his side once again.
You knew Aran wasn't into him at all, only politely entertaining the poor guy, no doubt chatting up your favorite kouhai with hearts in his eyes, desperately trying to get closer to Aran.
You almost felt pity for the other first year, knowing the heartbreak that was awaiting him whenever he decided to confess to Aran, how gloomy his winter break will be.
You shook your head, you couldn't watch any longer.
Running up behind Aran and your guy's teammate, you thought on your feet, linking your arm with Aran's and taking the gentle giant by surprise even and dragging him away from the ball cart, not daring to look back one.
Perhaps a little sadistic on your part, but, you had to hit the last nail on the coffin, you had to say something to have this guy take the hint as Aran wished and be over with it.
Turning to face Aran, you smiled warmly at him before speaking, making sure to speak a few lines above the volume of the busting gym and enunciating with clear and direct precision:
"Aran darling, we're going to be late for our study session! Help me take a few bags to the storage room please? Thank you~"
At the university cafe, your guy's textbooks were splayed out, more so for display than for actual studying admittedly. All to better blend into the atmosphere of the quiet cafe.
You took another sip of your coffee, blowing the steam off beforehand and enjoying the bitter flavors meshing with the sweet and creamy flavors of the Hokkaido cream winter special syrup they mixed into before sheepishly looking into Aran's eyes, scowling at you.
You felt so conflicted, you knew your approach to this fake dating was too strong, too direct, something Aran was hoping to avoid.
And yet, you couldn't help but do it, especially how fueled by Aran's reaction, the way his brows furrowed at you was just… cute. His pout made your heart skip and leap all over your ribcage and insides, every passing second you found it harder and harder to suppress your smile, to stop your leg bouncing from joy and excitement.
"Would ya stop smilin' like that?"
"Are you actually upset? He didn't approach you after practice, right?"
"No but I didn't expect ya to be that forward, ya'know. Didn't I say I didn't wanna be rude to this guy?" Aran sighed exasperatedly.
Taking another sip of your coffee, you extend your finger towards your teammate, smirking as you did so.
"Yeah, you don't have to be rude but I sure as hell can. Wasn't I a great fake boyfriend Aran?" you chuckled. "I could've been more blunt you know"
His face remained furrowed, unchanging as he stared you down. The only detriment was that the more he did this, the more it made you want to rile him up some more. Maybe say a few more out of pocket things in front of that guy just to have Aran give you this same look again and again.
You took a deep breath and leaned your head back, surveying the decorations of the cafe: each corner was littered with holiday decorations and nostalgia inducing scents, driving you into a holiday induced trance. Your face broke out into a grin before you met eyes with Aran again, knowing just what to say next.
"Oh don't worry, it's only gonna get worse" you grinned amusingly.
No longer able to keep his displeasure, Aran's face broke into a smile, thinking back on the poor guy's face of disappointment. You could tell from his face and demeanor that though he would have preferred a softer approach but your route certainly was entertaining, no doubt about that.
"How exciting, my fake boyfriend is the jealous type." Aran chuckled before resting his head on his knuckles, bringing his lemon pastry to his mouth and taking a bite.
There was just something about that comment of his that made you so insanely… proud? You couldn't hold back some laughter, even if the other patrons of the cafe would turn to see the commotion.
His eyes flashed as Aran took another look at you, now his turn to smile deviously.
"Say, how do you feel about going to the movies sometime senpai?"
The thought mulled in your mind for a bit before responding, gambling with fate. 'Was Aran…? Could he…?' you wondered. You had figured that today's theatrics was enough for both him and your guys' teammate to end the semester with. No post exam confession ought to happen now, right?
Still, something told you to push the limits of this fake dating thing with Aran, plus it wasn't like you weren't enjoying yourself. It's not like you didn't take the opportunity to cling onto Aran earlier just for show. Secretly, that was something you had always longed to do, finally seizing that chance to get closer with him and have some contact with him.
Setting your cup down on the low coffee table, you leaned over slightly, inching closer to Aran's face just to gauge his reaction. doing everything in your power to feign this levelheaded and cool demeanor, you sealed your own fate:
"Yeah why not. You know I'm paying for you anyways" you sneered.
You sighed deeply, finally relaxing the strained muscles in your temples and the back of your neck in what felt like forever since the beginning of the semester. Hours ago in the late evening, you were finally able to shut off your brain and sleep the moment you plopped onto the bed, outdoor clothes and everything.
Your final exam was a doozy but you finally scraped by this semester, letting the weight of your eyes take control for what you thought would be 20 minutes.
….
…
..
.
And after some time tossing and turning, regaining consciousness, you lied half awake in bed in the depths of night. You really had to question what your own thought process here was because the first great idea you had after you and everyone else had finished a grueling 4 months of university was to see if Aran was awake at 3:57am.
And as expected, he wasn't. In your defense, he didn't reply immediately as he normally would but you knew he'd get back to you within a few hours from now. You felt confident about that.
In a failed attempt to go back to sleep, you started thinking back on the semester as the "fake boyfriend" of Aran. Your heart was beating faster and faster as you scrolled through all the text messages between you two, all the moments that made your stomach flip, all the moments that had you blushing, the late night talks, all of it.
You truly had dug your own grave at this point, there was no turning back, not a single chance to tap out now: you had only yourself to blame for this mess, this whirlwind of emotions that surged through you after every conversation, each practice, and especially after every"date".
Every date since then had only felt more and more real to you: at the movies, you could have sworn you saw Aran blush when his hands had brushed up against yours when you both reached for popcorn. After the movies, his eyes beamed when you offered your drink to him during the post credits scene.
'What a dork' you thought at the moment 'He got that excited for an indirect kiss? Why was he just so cute?".
Listening to Aran ramble about the movie was one of the most endearing things you sat through: how excited he felt when his favorite character made the scene and pulled off that impossible stunt, why this character spoke to him, what this fictional character meant to him and why he related so much to his troubles.
All this dissecting and analyzing of the film was just so… like him. Just like most other people, you first felt like Aran was unreadable, stoic, dare you even say, scary?
But one afternoon later after practice you realize how he truly was: a gentle giant, a goofy guy who just wants to enjoy the simple things in life, eat great foods, and relax after a hard day's work. Especially after he would recount stories to you about these two twins who almost would give Aran and his high school captain ulcers, you understood your teammate a little better.
You two were similar in that sense, you only attended university because it was what everyone else was doing but in reality, all you wanted was to settle down somewhere and enjoy life to its fullest. Might not be the most adventurous or dynamic way to live life but it was fulfilling to you.
You wondered if that's what drew you to Aran sometimes, if that calm force of his reeled you in like baited fish in the sea. Maybe… it was your own calm personality that hooked him onto you too.
After all, this is the same underclassmen who constantly looked your way after scoring, who asked for you if you missed practice, or who even tried to buy you drinks just as you would for him, pushing more and more until you caved and agreed to take his small act of kindness.
Had he felt the same?
Thinking back to another date that happened in a bookstore near the downtown area; this memory is forever etched into your mind.
While you were skimming through a sports magazine, Aran appeared behind you suddenly but his sudden appearance wasn't shocking or surprising, he felt welcoming in fact, he felt secure to you.
And as if that wasn't enough to have your face flush and feeling the scarf around your neck become suffocating and hot, Aran leaned over your shoulder and rested his head.
No warning, no words exchanged. Just plop.
There was no one around in this section of the bookstore, no one to witness this moment, no one to prove this fake love to. It was just him and you at that moment. It was so unnecessary when you thought about it from that point of view, but from how your heart saw things, it felt like he wanted to be as close as possible to you. Like Aran had run out of ideas and said "forget it" and just went for it.
'Had he planned this? Was he also …?' your mind had gone to a million different places and conclusions to and back at the speed of light and just as soon as it had happened, Aran began asking you questions about the magazine, acting as if he didn't just almost make your heart jump out of your mouth, still resting his head on your shoulder.
That look on his face was to die for. His smile was just so natural, unlike his smile during a disagreement amongst team members; this one wasn't cold at all. It was genuine. He really made himself comfortable with you. His voice and breath were so close to your ear, you practically melted then and there.
You quickly grabbed a plushie of yours, covering your face with it as you rolled onto your side, letting out a tiny shriek that rivaled a teapot. Everything else has been a barrage of small but meaningful interactions, each only making the butterflies in your stomach prance and flutter about more obnoxiously than the last recounting of dates and deep conversations.
You felt enamored.
Devoted.
Determined.
Scared.
Intoxicated.
Infatuated.
Romantic.
And the list goes on the more you spiraled.
You tossed and turned under the covers like a fish on a hot grill, unable to shake the thought of Aran once again, for god knows how long. Maybe this was the 3rd week in a row? You lost track.
And tomorrow was no different, you two had another date scheduled despite the semester having ended recently. This time it was going to be at the park close to the uni, though the dates had become less and less exciting and more mundane, more domestic if you will.
You two were at the point of this "fake relationship" where a simple, one man errand has to be completed with the other present.
You two had grown inseparable since then, that was undeniable. What you weren't sure about was how long this charade would last and this the one thing you found strange about all of this:
Aran hadn't pulled the plugs on any of this. His secret admirer had already left for his hometown and there wasn't any real reason to keep having these fake dates now.
And another thing that concerned you about tomorrow's date was what Aran had ended the conversation with, something that was unlike the other messages and good night farewells from the past few months. He seemed more serious from what you had interpreted, reading between the lines if you will.
After his last goodnight, he wrote:
"Oh my bad I forgot to tell ya earlier. I've been wanting to settle something with you for some time now. I'll see you tomorrow Y/N"
Your guts felt like it was filled with rocks in that instance, heavy and churning with anxiety.
You knew this day would come, the day your contract as a fake boyfriend to this handsome devil would end and it was to be expected.
Yet you wanted more of these fun dates with Aran, you wanted to be around him beyond practice time, you wanted to do more than just walk around town and watch movies together, you wanted to feel more of Aran beyond the time he rested his head on your shoulder.
If tomorrow was going to be the day that Aran rips the band-aid off, shattering those illusions of being the person he could call his beloved, then so be it.
But that still didn't ease your onset of heartbreak that was to come.You decided in this moment that should it come to that point, you were gonna give it a shot. You were going to ask him out, period.
Your eyes grew heavy the more you thought about what would happen tomorrow, all your theories and dreaming, predicting how tomorrow would play out lulled you into a deep slumber.
That was a feeling you couldn't shake off: something big was going to happen.
It was finally the big day, the day you somehow had been waiting 6 hours for and still felt anxious about, that same didn't rub off with sleep, no. It was as if it concentrated even more over night, that pressing thought of what was going to happen today wouldn't leave your mind as you headed inside the train and managed to find a seat in this morning Tokyo rush.
Today was just another "date", and even if the semester was over, you were going to enjoy this last date to the fullest. You were determined to confess to Aran at the end of today, expressing just how much he meant to you and what he brought into your life these past few months, this past semester no matter what happened. You would accept your fate no matter the outcome.
Your heart beat both with excitement and fear, trembling and smiling, you couldn't contain the jitters in your leg as it bounced feverishly.
Your designated stop wasn't for another 2 stops but yet the moment the train had come to a complete halt and opened the doors to the subway tunnel, you leap out of the cabin, speed walking through the crowds and up the stairs, zig zagging around the masses of salary man and tourists.
The cold winter air hit you once more as you surfaced to street level again, now jogging to your destination.
You needed the jitters out of your system before meeting up with Aran today and a good 10 minute walk in the freezing cold would cure that, you thought.
Heart racing and armed with a giant goofy smile, you continued your small sprint to the park that you two had agreed to meet at.
In no time, you had arrived at the park and saw the man of the hour: Aran sitting on the swing set , patiently awaiting your arrival and swinging gently in place. The moment he heard your footsteps crunch the gravel beneath you, Aran looked up, his expression brightening up, giddy to see you.
He sprang up from the swing and skipped over to you, his hot breath evaporating in the cold outdoors.
"Y/N! Everything ok? Ya didn't have any delays right?" he piped up.
Feeling a little guilty for arriving a few minutes after the expected meeting time, you let a white lie slip out, hoping Aran would be satisfied and not push the subject any further.
"I got off at the wrong stop. That's why I'm all warmed up now" you huffed, still trying to catch your breath from your slight jog. The cold and exercise was a much needed output for you, something to ease the nerves your stomach was brewing up.
Aran just smiled, titling his head before suddenly placing his leather gloved hand on your shoulder, gently squeezing before he unraveled the topic. The topic that's been on your mind since last night.
"Look" he started. "I wanna say thank you for everything Y/N. For agreeing to this crazy plan of mine".
His eyes burrowed into yours, practically anchoring himself onto you before his face turned serious.
'Ah here it is' you thought. 'This is where we part ways'.
Whether this was out of self preservation or already preparing yourself for heartbreak, you joked:
"Is this where we're "breaking up" Aran kun? Ouch.." feigning sarcasm, hoping to cover up any real pain and discomfort you felt for what was to come, an inevitable end.
You reached up to your shoulder and took your hand to Aran's, etching its warmth and sturdiness one last time before he'd end the deal. You promised yourself you wouldn't cry in front of him, not until Aran finished saying what he had to say.
Looking back into his eyes, you saw something… different. It wasn't a look that said "thanks for understanding", no. This was a sad puppy look.
Did… did your words get to him? Isn't that what he was going to do in the first place?
"Aran kun" you spoke calmly. "What's wrong?" cocking your head slightly.
Analyzing his face, what he said next blew everything out of the water, nothing would have prepared you for this.
Aran took a deep breath before making his next move:
"No… I don't want to break up. I… Do you know why I asked you to be my fake boyfriend Y/N?" his eyes looked at you, pleading for you to listen.
"Because you trusted me out of everyone?"
"That too but… I've always.. liked you"
A moment of silence passed, the only sounds that could be heard in the park were the crows in the background, almost laughing at what just happened, cawing audaciously.
Inside, you were panicking, the jitters had returned and much harder than ever, unable to contain the slight tremble in your hands and legs.
This wasn't the outcome you had expected. You didn't account for Aran to confess first, to beat you to the punch. You just assumed a lot of things but… not this.
Shaking, you took a step back but Aran pursued, taking a step towards you, not taking the chance for you to slip away.
"Y/N… I've liked you for a while now, every gift, every date, every dinner, it all felt so real to me. A-And I'm so sorry if you don't feel the same way, I just… I wanted a reason to hang out with you one on one and well… It was a dumb idea but… it worked. You actually agreed to hang out with me so.."
"Aran… I.. y-you?" you stammered, the gears in your brain still wiring about and processing all of this. Had it not been for the freezing cold, you would’ve fainted with your feet comically up in the air.
A part of you felt so relieved that he felt the same all this time, that this wasn't all in your head, all these moments where the tensions and feelings felt mutual.. really were just that. Mutual.
The underclassmen continued, now clasping both your hands and leaning in close, almost afraid to let you go.
"You've always been there for me, looking out for me however you could. Y/N.. I know you feel something too… right?"
Aran's expressions turned into a serious one, a little too much like the gaze he had before serving a ball. The concentration in his eyes however wasn't coming from trying to overpower and instill terror into the opposing team, instead the look in his eyes felt… soft, seeking your approval and dying for your answer. He was begging for your answer.
Maybe all the nerves in your body hadn't left yet, maybe you, for once, acted and thought later, maybe it was the act of releasing yourself from your own constraints around the man you've been crushing for so long but something made you take action.
And not one beat later, you leaned into Aran's face, sealing the gap with a kiss.
The world seemed to have stopped at the moment, even the gentle snowfall seemed to have paused in place as you sealed your fate. his lips cold at first but warmed up to yours, his eyes wide but slowly relaxing and closing the longer you two kissed. It was brief but your heart soared.
Your fate was sealed. And so was his.
Unlatching yourself from Aran, you took a close look at his face and started giggling, his expression was still in shock, his mouth open agape and his eyes practically bursting out of his skull as he just stood there, watching your next move. He just looked so cute, you couldn't help but follow up and tease him about it.
"Even after all that talk about feeling the same, you're still surprised Aran kun?" you hollered, clutching your stomach. "I've always liked you too, your hunch was right."
Composing himself after that short circuit, Aran straightened himself before continuing, chuckling with you.
"Hey hey, I just wanna make sure we're on the same page y'know?"
"We've been on the same page Aran. I'm.. so glad."
Aran couldn't help but blush at this, unable to tame that giddy smile of his as this one talk ended the way you both wanted, albeit with a little misunderstanding at first but it was now official:
You two were now happily together. A couple.
Suddenly, he grabbed your hand, slightly tugging towards him as he pulled you into a side hug, similar to the ones you two shared after winning matches at competitions but this time, it felt as if Aran put some "umf" into it and he gently squeezed you.
"Y/N, we gotta celebrate with some lunch now! You wanna go to your favorite restaurant? It's my treat!"
Your eyes squinted at him, smiling
"Aran I may be your boyfriend now but I'm still your senpai. I'm supposed to be the one to treat you! Come on, let's go!" You chirped, seizing his hand now and pulling him along, the two of you laughing and giggling as the snow fell.
snowflake divider credit to cursed-carmine and anitalerina for the other divider!
