bee yourself

HoneyHighway

Honey,

I honestly have no idea what I am doing to be wearing. I wish I could give you a hint.

I’ll tell you what though…I’ll send you an email when I find out so you know.

One final anonymous message. 💛

- Artless

@honeyamok

Artless,

Sounds perfect! 🥰

💛honey

@artlesshighway

honeyamok >> wisteriarolex

wisteriarolex

Hi,

I cannot imagine you hurting someone, if I'm completely honest. But thank you. I get what you're saying and I hope I do continue to learn so I can do better in the future.

Thank you for saying that, Honey. It means more to me than you could imagine.

I think, even if you don't realize it, deep inside of you there is a strong, confident person. Because look at you now! Putting yourself out here for all of this after getting hurt like that takes so much confidence.

I also wasn't sure about the ball. I haven't been having the best of luck with these sorts of town events lately, but if you can be confident enough to go and to do all of this, so can I.

As much as I hope to see you there, I worry I'll disappoint in person should our paths cross. But I will do my best to be there, even if for just a moment to meet with you, even if I'm a little scared nervous.

Writing letters with you has really made this whole exchange thing worth it, and I am so glad to have gotten this chance to talk to you.

💜wisteriarolex

@honeyamok

Hi,

I have the same worry--that I am going to be disappointing in person. There are some things that I haven't revealed in these letters that is a very big part of my life, but that would automatically give me away. I hope that doesn't make me sound deceitful...

It just has been nice getting to know people without that as a hindrance in the way.

It also means that I know how people usually react to me. And how they grow uninterested once they learn these things about me. So, it makes me nervous I haven't said anything to anyone about it. But, I suppose, that we can be nervous together.

Maybe it is a bad thing, but I think it is nice that we are both kind of worried about similar things. As long as we remember that, it should be easy to meet.😊

I am glad to have gotten the chance to know you too.

I'll be the one in yellow. ☀️

💛honeyamok

@wisteriarolex

#wisteriahoney #:)

HoneyHighway

Honey,

If I could have found a record in time I would have left Styx Come Sail Away along with the thrift find. Another iconic song.

I’m telling you top 5 best sticky buns I’ve ever had. I am a connoisseur of treats too. I don’t just hand top ratings out like that for anyone.

I was planning on making an appearance at the ball yes. I am hoping you’re asking because you are planning to go?

-Artless

@honeyamok

Artless,

Ooooh, I will definitely have to give that a listen! The title is intriguing.

And thank you, you are too kind. I really do want to believe you and I suppose, since we're anonymous, you aren't saying it just to say it. So...thank you. I appreciate it. 🥰

And definitely!! I've got to meet everyone, I was nervous but I am looking forward to it now. I am planning on wearing yellow, so that'll make me easy to spot!💛

💛honey

@artlesshighway

HoneyDoughnut

Dear Honeyamok,

I'd like to meet everyone too, yeah. And no, it's not you at all. I'm a little nervous about seeing everyone face to face. I'm hoping I haven't been making a fool out of myself in my messages, because then I'd be really embarrassed.

I wouldn't wanna ignore you, no matter what you said! Why would anyone want to do that? Even if you were the only one feeling that way, your feelings would still be valid.

From,

Explosivedoughnut

@honeyamok

Hi,

Oh, good! I am glad I am not the only one who is nervous. Everyone has been so lovely, so I really want to meet everyone. But, I don't know, it is a lot of pressure, isn't it?

I think I am much better expressing myself this way than in person. Can't help thinking that I might disappoint people.

And thank you. This was a very sweet message. I can't wait to meet you (more) officially!! I will be wearing yellow, like honey!

💛honeyamok

@explosivedoughnut

honeyamok >> wisteriarolex

wisteriarolex

Hi,

That’s always my hope. Is that people will see that I’ve tried and attempted to make some sort of change.

There are some things I’ve done I don’t know how to atone for, and there are things that I worry no matter what I do it will never be enough. I know that’s not a very bright way of looking at it, and I would hope to make amends.

Maybe it’s like you say and if I want to make these sorts of amends I have to start the relationship anew and rebuild what I damaged.

I definitely agree that the victim has every right to be mad and stay mad. I don’t think I would even expect forgiveness. If it could be something I could work toward I would appreciate their forgiveness but I don’t ever expect it. I know there are people in my life who have hurt me that I have no intention of forgiving, though those are extreme cases.

With all these things said, if it were me, even knowing that much would be more than enough. To know not just that there is a chance just for forgiveness, but to know you didn’t view me as irredeemable.

And as I’ve said, if it were me, I wouldn’t have any expectations for forgiveness and therefore would have no timeline. I say feel your hurt as long as you need, but don’t let it break you. You’re too bright a soul, don’t let one asshole dim that light.

Only forgive them when you feel ready.

I’m glad to have helped, but I don’t think I did anything but give you a place to speak. I think you’ve had the confidence inside you all along. I am glad to have helped you in any way, though. I have to say you’ve done the same for me as well.

Yeah, it’s sad to think of how cramped they are in all those tanks and cages. Or what they’ve been taken away from.

Thank you for listening to me and all your honesty. You’ve been nothing but wonderful to me and I keep feeling as though it’s unearned. I greatly enjoy talking to you and all of your insights.

I have to admit, though, the more we talk to each other, the more worry my cowardice will take over and I’ll shy away from meeting you in person.

It’s easy to talk to you and I enjoy it so much, but if we come face to face I don’t think you will see me in the same light as you do through these letters. I hope you know just how much I’ve liked getting to know more and more about you.

💜wisteriarolex

@honeyamok

#wisteriahoney #this is cruel.#i love it.

Hi,

It is true you cannot force forgiveness. Maybe people you've hurt will never be okay with the way you hurt them. That doesn't mean you cannot still learn and become better. It is hard to know you've hurt people. I know that I certainly have. And they were forgiving enough to accept me again and forgive me, but I know that the hurt still lingers. As long as you learn and grow...that is worth something.

You are worth learning and growing.

I am glad to think I have helped in some way. And I wish what you said was true about my confidence, but I don't think it is. I have never been a very confident person for a million different reasons. I tend to stay inside my shell where it is safe.

I have been trying to get out of it more, but after I got hurt, it made me just want to curl back up inside.

I am glad I decided to do this. It was scary, but the anonymity made me feel better. If I flamed out, at least I didn't have to embarrass myself. I wasn't sure if I was going to go to the ball...but now? I think I am going to go.

I really hope you're going to be there. 💛

💛honeyamok

@wisteriarolex

HoneyHighway

Honey,

Do you have a favorite Elton John song? Is it Crocodile Rock? Such a low rated song.

I have danced in the privacy of my own home a fair amount of times. Never catch me dancing at much at this town events. Maybe a prom a few years back? After a few pints. It’s not embarrassing — if anything Honey we can safely dance in privacy together. No judgment here!

I have had the sticky buns! Those were more incredible than anything I think I’ve had the pleasure of eating before. Add that recipe to your top 5 list - you could make them professionally I think. They are that good!

I have a small funny story. I wasn’t going to say anything but after those rolls I have to now. I wasn’t by FFTT few a few days back and I saw this keychain and I thought of you. Kept thinking about it then after getting your little gift I had to go back and get it.

Be sure to drop by town hall today.

- Artless

@honeyamok

Artless,

I am so so glad that you liked them! I was so nervous, but I thought you might want them anyway. Even if they were terrible, the effort was there... I dunno about professional, but I am glad you think so!

Thank you sooooo much for the keychain!! It is so lovely, I love it so much. I put it on my keychain. It is very jingly, which I love. Thank you again. It was so thoughtful!

And yes, of course! Crocodile Rock is a great song. I think I do love Tiny Dancer a lot. Or maybe Rocket Man.

You're going to the ball, right?

💛honeyamok

@artlesshighway

Left at Town Hall for @honeyamok

With a note:

I saw it and thought of you. Someday you’ll make it to the ocean but until then you can carry this with you.

They love it!! 💛💛💛💛

HoneyDoughnut

Dear Honeyamok,

Yeah, I'm not too sad for it to end either. Winter's not real great when you do a lot of work outdoors like I do. Spring and summer are nicer, and it's always good to see the flowers in bloom and the trees full of leaves and the grass all thick and green!

They sure do matter. And scary things aren't always so scary when you get to know them better.

I'm excited to meet you too! See you there, then?

From,

Explosivedoughnut

@honeyamok

Hi,

Definitely! I wasn't sure if I was going to go, but I have met so many lovely people I've just got to say hi to everyone in real life. I am a bit nervous, but I assume most people are...if they took this at all seriously.

Or maybe it's just me. That could also be true. In that case, though, please just ignore me completely.

💛honeyamok

@explosivedoughnut

ruinedprada

Oh I certainly hope we get to meet. I am very intrigued to find out who exactly they are. I haven't the faintest clue as to who they could be right now and it's rather annoying. But of course, I will tell you all about them should I meet them.

I look forward to meeting you, as well. If that wasn't clear.

I'm sorry to hear that you have gone through a rough time recently. I get how hard it can be to regain your confidence after something terrible. I don't know what it was but I hope it's getting better for you, darling.

xoxo,

RuinedPrada

@honeyamok

Hi,

I look forward to meeting you too! I am getting kind of excited about the event. But I am also so nervous. I mean...what if our matches aren't actually nice people? Or what if they are disappointed when they find out who I am?

Sorry, that is probably really lame to say.

I just am nervous! I know I have to go, though. If only to prove to myself that I can. Thank you. You've been a great listener and a big confidence booster. 😊

💛honeyamok

@ruinedprada

#ruinedhoney

HoneyDoughnut

Dear Honeyamok,

That's good that you're practicing! You always get better at things by practicing. I bet you'll be real good at making icing flowers in no time!

It is fun! And it doesn't take much skill. Just sit on something and slide! But yeah, it might be a little too late for sledding now, but at least we know winter always rolls around again, so maybe you can try next year. Sure, I can get all of that. Like I said, I know not everyone is as comfortable around horses as I am. Aw thanks! I'm not all that brave, but I'm flattered that you think so!

So you're another animal lover, huh? That's great! What kind of animal is your favorite?

Yeah, I'll be going to the party. So we'll probably be seeing each other a lot sooner than the summer!

From,

Explosivedoughnut

@honeyamok

Hi,

Thank you. We shall see!

I am not sad for the winter ending, that much is for sure. I am really excited for the summer to come around again. It is my favorite season. I am not super thrilled about the cold!

I do love animals. Some are a little scary to me, but that isn't their fault. All living things matter, as far as I am concerned.

Oh good! I am excited to meet you. 🥰

💛honeyamok

@explosivedoughnut

#honeyhighway #gifts #hehe i was waiting for you to reply #so i could do this

left at town hall for @artlesshighway with a note:

"I hope these taste okay! Like I said, it is a new recipe, but I tried one and they were delicious to me! - Honey."

HoneyHighway

Honey,

Restless doesn’t begin to describe it truthfully. I have grown more content as I join the community here in Swynlake. Less headlight on the highway.

That was an Elton John reference by the way.

Music is what I drift to when my mind starts to get restless. Not one to get lost in books. I feel like my brothers would joke I couldn’t read. I let genres of music soothe my restlessness. We are lucky Scat Cats is such a good shop. I think it would rival most in the big cities.

You most certainly miss something you don’t truly remember. I think there’s something about a gut feeling and intuition that has something to do with it. Nostalgia doesn’t always have to make sense. I don’t have children myself but there is something about wonder in a child’s eye…but it comes back as adults. I am starting to say way more intelligent than I am.

I have been to The Globe. A fews times now. It’s quite spectacular but you’ve got to look at the schedule because some of his plays are too much. I can only see Macbeth so many times.

Cinnamon Carmel sticky buns might be my favorite. There use to be these little petit four cakes I would sneaky as a lad. They were vanilla cakes with this hard frosting that cracked in the best way when you took a bite. Now don’t go making some of those they are probably difficult to make but they are probably my favorites.

- Artless

@honeyamok

Hi,

I love Elton John! Don't worry, I got that reference. Tiny Dancer is a great song. :)

I love music too. Probably more than reading, if I am honest. It just touches a different part of my heart. I wish I was better at dancing, but sometimes I'll dance in my room! Lol. That is kind of embarrassing to admit, actually.

I don't think you should sell yourself short! That was all very intelligent sounding. 💛😊

Cinnamon Carmel sticky buns sound delicious. I've never heard of those, but I am going to look them up! Maybe I can try to bake some. I like to try out new recipes.

💛honeyamok

@artlesshighway

HoneyDoughnut

Dear Honeyamok,

Cupcakes, huh? Bet you do a great job decorating them! Do you make those cute little flowers and stuff out of icing? I wouldn't know the first thing about doing that! I'd probably end up just getting some colored blobs of icing on a cupcake!

Definitely no ice skating then! You ever go sledding? That's a lot easier to do, and it can be pretty fun! Yeah, I understand that horses can be intimidating, considering how big they are. Once you learn how to handle them, they get a lot more accessible, but I wouldn't ever try to force someone to interact with them if they didn't want to.

Well then I sure hope we do see each other! I'll make sure to have a big, colorful floatie so you won't miss me!

From,

Explosivedoughnut

@honeyamok

Hi,

I can make roses and I am trying to work on other flowers, but they are a bit trickier. I am still pretty new to it. When I first started out it was a lot of blobs.

And no, I've never been sledding, though it does sound pretty fun! I have probably missed my window for this year but maybe next. And I am sure horses are great. I have a few reasons I just find them kind of big and intimidating, but I love animals, so it is nothing against them. 🐴 I think you're brave for riding them!

And that sounds perfect. 😊

You are going to the party, no?

💛honeyamok

@explosivedoughnut

A Taste For Honey >> Honey Spud

Dear Honey Amok,

Ah, I see. I appreciate your honesty. And while I am sure it is possible for you to start dating me and perhaps quickly realtize you are ready for marriage and children, I admit that your lack of experience gives me great pause.

I think what I want might be a little too much pressure for you. Forgive me if this comes across as condescending. But I do think perhaps, at this point, we might invest more time in our other connections. I just think I might be at a different point in my life.

Best,

Spudnik

#honeyspud #i was rooting for this and ik you know why #but it was never gonna work 😂

Hi,

Okay. I understand. I hope you find what you are looking for. 💛

💛honeyamok

@lonelyspudnik

A Taste For Honey >> Honey Spud

Hello Honey Amok,

That is quite alright. I also have gotten a little overwhelmed this week. That's actually why I want to propose we talk about whether or not we want to continue our correspondence. I know, it might seem a little cold, but since we're halfway through the event, I thought it a good time to take stock of our connection and if we want to go on.

You do seem very sweet-- just like your name suggests! I'm not sure we have gotten to a deeper level though.

So I want to be very clear about my priorities: I want to get married and have children within the next 2-3 years, perhaps even sooner. I am in a great financial position and I am on the older side, so marriage and a family is really the next big goal for me.

I understand that mighit seem like an intimidating timeline, and if that doesn't align with you, then that is understandable!

Best,

Spudnik

Hi,

I do not think it is cold. Just practical. I admire people who know so strongly what they want. I have enjoyed talking to you a lot. And I would love to get married and have children, maybe, one day. To be honest, I haven't thought about it much.

Or, well, I have. But it has never really been in the cards for me. So, maybe it is more accurate to say that I have dreamed about it. If that makes sense?

I am sorry if I don't have a better answer for you. I think I could be ready in 2-3 years...but I don't know. It is a little intimidating to think about, if only because I haven't...really dated before.

💛honeyamok

@lonelyspudnik

#honeyspud #my lil bb

ruinedprada

Dear, Honey,

There is one connection that has caught my attention. They are funny and quick witted. We share a lot of similar interests and are expecting the same sort of thing from this.

But I am glad that you have met such nice people. I will be honest and say that the thought of anyone being cruel to you doesn’t sit right with me. You’re too sweet for that kind of thing.

xoxo,

RuinedPrada

Hi,

I am glad that you have found someone you might connect with! That is so exciting. I hope that it works out for you. 💛After this is all over you'll have to tell me how meeting them went. Oh, please tell me that you're going to meet them!

And thank you. Yes, everyone has been just lovely. Which is very nice, because I went through a rough period in the last month or so. This has gotten my confidence back. Just a little.

💛honeyamok

@ruinedprada

#ruinedhoney

honeyamok >> wisteriarolex

Hi!

I want to start this by saying I think it is very brave to admit you've hurt people in the past. By admitting to it, I think it shows that you are acknowledging that hurt and I hope you have done the work to make sure it doesn't happen again. So, I actually think it makes you very brave. 💛

And don't worry, I make a lot of mistakes. I also speak before I think and I can be very rambly. I say embarrassing things and do embarrassing things. I tend to leave conversations and go back through them to see how much of a loser I was being. It can just be hard to know if people actually are enjoying my company or not sometimes. I just tend to overthink and overcorrect.

It doesn't help when people reinforce the fact that I am...a hard pill to swallow. That is what happened recently. It was the person I was talking about who taught me a lot of lessons. In some ways, it was a good thing, the things I learned. I think I needed to learn them. So that I would stop being so trusting.

But, it also just...reminded me that I am too much. Or not enough. I don't know. I am still trying to figure that out.

I am sorry. That is very morose of me. I apologize.

Would you rather sleep under the stars or in an aquarium? (I love this question and I am trying to distract from my moroseness so you do not think less of me.)

💛honeyamok

@wisteriarolex

wisteriarolex

Hi!

Thank you. I'm doing my best to learn and grow and find ways to be better. I know amending the harm I caused is probably unlikely in many ways, but I would like to atone for it all someday. Though I will admit, even if I work on it all, there is a part of me that worries I will just continue to make mistakes. I'll continue to hurt people or do things that are wrong because there's just some part of me that doesn't know how to do right. Or that no matter what I do I'll still be my mistakes and my actions and there is no fixing it or how people view me. They will only ever see me for what I've done and not who I am. It's terrifying in a way, to be left to wonder if there is anyone who will be willing to look past it all, all the dark marks and mistakes and bad choices.

I guess we're both being a little morose in our letters this time.

I will say I have seen no indication in any of our correspondences that you're a 'loser'. You seem like a lovely and kind person who is maybe a little cautious but that's alright. It's good to have caution. I have enjoyed all of our chats thus far. I'm sure I would enjoy your company in person as well.

I'm so sorry you had to deal with feeling that way. Though... I must ask, why do you think it was because you were a hard pill to swallow? Did they say something to indicate that?

I don't see you as too little or too much. You seem just right to me. I hate that you were ever made to feel like you were not enough--nobody deserves to feel like that, I am so sorry.

I feel like this was a good email for both of us. We both got to a bit more open. Relationships aren't all sunshine and rainbows, sometimes things can get heavy. But its always nice to know you have someone to lean on.

I don't think anything could make me think less of you, Honey. Especially not you sharing your true and honest feelings.

Sleeping under the stars is always nice. I've done that a good number of times in my life. So I do want to say that because it feels familiar, but I am curious what it would be like to sleep in an aquarium. To be surrounded by water but able to breath and rest peacefully sounds very interesting.

Though I'm not really the biggest fan of zoos or aquariums. More on principal rather than anything, I know there are ones that treat the inhabitants well, and there are cases of rescue and rehabilitation, but for the most part there's just something that feels a little wrong about taking something from its wide open home just to put it in a box.

I hope this wasn't too serious of an email and I hope you don't find it overwhelming or like a huge turn off. I suppose I just feel comfortable talking to you.

💜wisteriarolex

(ps i just went to his send and realized I rambled on so much in this email, please forgive me 😅 i'll keep our next one a little more snappy)

@honeyamok