Down the parsed dialogue rabbit hole again, this time looking at Ethel's Vicious Mockery lines for all the characters, and goddamn, they are brutal.
ASTARION
You're one thirsty night away from betraying everyone.
Deep down, you like being leashed, don't you?
Is there still rat stuck in your teeth, slave?
GALE
I can smell what's under those bandages, wizard. You're all rot and ruin.
Come to greet death early? You'll be a lovely spectacle.
Who would be jealous of you, apprentice?
KARLACH
Let's pull your strings, infernal puppet.
Happy to sell everyone's soul but your own, aren't you?
When I'm done, even the Hells won't want you.
LAE'ZEL
Your people will never take you back - illithid scum.
Do you miss kissing Vlaakith's feet, gith?
A toad with a tadpole! How fitting.
MINSC
How quaint! The hamster has a pet.
Only evil here is what's inside you, ranger.
Go rub your rat, soft-skull.
SHADOWHEART
You're so far up Shar's cake you can't see straight. Pathetic.
Why would Shar love you when no one else does?
You're no complex puzzle. Just a sad little girl.
WYLL
Do you think losing that eye made you a hero?
Oh, look! It's daddy's regret.
Fraud of the Frontiers!
DRAGONBORN
Aww, where's your clan? Bet they'd exile you for that brainworm in a blink.
Bet that honour of yours shatters easy as your scales.
You foul-breathed little lizard!
DWARF
No flabby dwarf's a threat to me.
More beard than brains, the lot of you.
Bet you'd trade your friends for a trinket or two, gold-eater!
DWARF (DUERGAR)
Bow your head, slave. You remember how, don't you?
Grey and useless as a stone comb.
I'll squeeze that stone heart until it bleeds, dwarf.
Need a new master, illithid lover?
ELF
Fancy yourself immortal? We'll see how long that lasts.
I'll show you what a true fey does, dearie.
Elves are so pretty. Pretty worthless!
ELF (DROW - FEMALE)
Filthy underscum!
Just another of Lolth's pretty harlots.
Slaver. Sadist. How dare you judge me?
ELF (DROW - MALE)
Bare your throat, spider-bait.
Kneel, boy. Just like the matriarchs taught you to.
Bow to your betters, boy.
GNOME
Disgusting burrow rat.
Bet your clan's happy you're gone!
Try laughing after I rip your throat out, gnome.
HALF-ELF
I wonder which parent regrets you more, half-breed.
How revolting. Another thin-blooded mongrel.
Half-elf. Half-human. All useless.
HALF-ELF (DROW)
Even the Underdark doesn't want you, half-breed.
A half-drow? How grotesque.
Surprised you show yourself in public, abomination.
HALF-ORC
Come now, tusks-for-brains! Doesn't this make you angry?
All that bloodlust. A little tap, and I bet you won't know friend from foe!
Lumbering half-orc. Twice as ugly as your parents combined!
HALFLING
Come closer, little softie. You'll be tender.
A tiny, sweet morsel. Just for me.
HUMAN
Another human rat infesting Faerûn.
A human! So desperate to be special.
Pity. That tadpole actually made you interesting.
TIEFLING
I'll burn you alive and everyone will celebrate.
You're everyone's punching bag and no one's favourite.
I see the Hells spit out another tragic little tiefling.
No, no, no, you don't get it. I don't want to romance Gortash because I like him. I want to romance him because I want to destroy his life the way I already do mine.
If you kill Isobel you do get some interesting items up cloak and a set of gloves. But obviously nobody actually wants to kill her so how do you get these items during a good playthrough?
You have to get to act three. And send Aylin after Lorroikan. Well Isabella is in your camp Just knock her unconscious and take her s*** and by the time Aylin comes back there won't be a problem.
I killed Barcus to interrogate his corpse today. Don't worry I reloaded. And he said he was looking for 'his wulbren' like he said it like that. 'his wulbren'. So it must be a romantic relationship right.
But when Wulbren is being a massive asshole at last light, Barcus acts like he deserves to be that mad at him.
Barcus doesn't strike me as the kinda guy to blame himself for dumb shit so something must have happened.
There must be some cut content that explains why they fell out and why Barcus blames himself for it. Maybe if I kill them in Baldur's Gate I'll get some answers?
Update, killed them in act 3 and their corpses had 'nothing to say.' Walburden didn't have anything on him that was readable he just had armor and weapons. Lame ass.
Baahl Babe; You're a dead man. I can't let you take over the city.
Wyll; Please, stay your hand. My father's life is at stake.
Gort; Sage advice. My Steel Watchers take unkindly to threats - no matter how hollow. You are of little use to me dead, but dead is exactly what you will be if you arouse the ire of my Steel Watch.
Other Lines of Durge Dialogue Include...
Baahl Babe; I seemed to have trusted you once, and it ruined me. I'm not about to repeat that mistake.
Gort stache; "I am not Orin. I know the value of alliance. You and I always knew we could only stand against the world united." " Bane teaches his followers to reward those who support his chosen, not to betray them. (Italics are in the game's script lol)
I also just realized the angsty implication of this line.
Baahl Babe; I'm not afraid of her. (Orin)
Gorty; Her assassins hunt you even now. They're very efficient killers. even someone with your talents should take heed. Orin changes shape faster than you and I change clothes. You know. She's tricked you before.
(You get this line even if you haven't caught her pretending to be an NPC.)
Yes yes there is really filthy shameful smut ahead. Adding this to Tumblr so I can keep my masterlist comprehensive.
Raphael x f!reader x Haarlep
Word count: 3174
Crystal blue water cascaded in waterfalls from feminine statues that surrounded a familiar steaming pool.
You licked your lips, the warm water as inviting as the first time you’d stepped foot into Raphael’s boudoir.
“Back so soon?” Haarlep reclined upon a plush red chaise pushed up against the far wall. The incubus once again wore Raphael’s cambion visage.
Haarlep raised an unimpressed eyebrow, seemingly unbothered by your unexpected appearance. “We did have such a delicious time together.” He gave you a lazy smile. “Although your stamina is worse than Raphael’s, if you can believe it.” Haarlep sat up slightly, grinning at the internal conflict he sensed within you. “Did you come back for more of Haarlep? Seemingly the closest you can get to what you truly desire. Has my master remained distant? How preciously sad.”
Every word, spoken in that infuriatingly exaggerated lilt, hit every insecurity and frustration you’d been battling since your very first visit to Raphael’s House of Hope.
The demon rose with a knowing smirk, rolling his neck and stretching his wings wide. Your pupils dilated as they followed the languid movement, each action made purposefully sensual for your torment.
“I must admit, I am rather disappointed you didn’t follow through with retrieving that little contract of yours. It would’ve made for such a satisfying ending.” Haarlep took one step forward, pushing into your space, the heat rolling off his body already warming your clammy skin. “I may even be free now if it wasn’t for your…weakness.” He trailed a sharp finger down your cheek. “You’ve felt him, I assume? The heady rush in your pliable mortal body as Raphael took me in your form.”
You shivered, remembering.
“Speak, little trifling creature.” Haarlep caressed your neck, nails digging into your skin just enough to raise welts. “I wish to hear your voice. Raphael seems to appreciate when I speak using it.” His strong hand wrapped around your throat, resting gently against your collarbone with a dangerous promise.
“I…” You swallowed thickly, your hand closing around his wrist as he gave your neck a slight squeeze. “Yes, I’ve felt it. Multiple times.”
“It must rankle.” Haarlep laughed, his hand trailing down to your tattered disguise, cutting into the fabric of the dirty bodice. “He chooses not fuck you.”
Your eyes sparked fury and you pushed at his chest angrily, not budging the towering fiend an inch. “You’re just a cheap imitation. How does it feel to have been stripped of any free will and identity?”
You’d made a mistake. Taken one step too far. Only realizing your fatal error when his grip on your throat became suddenly tight as a vice, cutting off your air flow. You scrabbled futilely at Haarlep’s hand, your eyes widening in fear. The incubus’ face was a mask of dark intent, grim and deadly.
You released a jolt of magic, channeling lightning energy into the fiend. He twitched and gasped in pain, loosening his grasp enough for you to suck in several mouthfuls of air.
“The kitten does have teeth after all.” Haarlep sneered, tail lashing. “Be aware in this house we yank them out.”
You withdrew your radiant dagger, taking a defensive stance, drawing an amused laugh from the demon.
“My dear, you were foolish to return.” A new voice joined, the familiar cadence of Raphael. The cambion leaned casually against a marble column; arms folded over the chest of his human disguise. His keen brown eyes observed your standoff with raised brows. “Don’t damage my property.” He straightened and strode to you, addressing you and Haarlep. “Or I will be forced to take drastic measures.”
Raphael gave his incubus a sharp look over your shoulder. You felt the demon shrink back, temporarily cowed.
“Haarlep isn’t as magnanimous as I.” Raphael tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, taking a moment to consider you archly. “You truly have a death wish, my errant mouse.”
“You are impossible to reach.” You said, slightly breathless, the skin on the back of your neck prickling under Haarlep’s glare. “I need to speak to you.”
“Thus, you think it prudent to break into my home, in violation of our contract.” Raphael tucked his fingers beneath your chin and tilted his head at you. “The only reason you are not cinders beneath my feet at this very moment is because you chose to not pilfer my belongings.”
“Haarlep doesn’t count?” You asked, your shoulders relaxing slightly.
“Haarlep never counts.” Raphael answered firmly. “I admit to being pleased by the little surprise you left for me.”
You flushed, though your eyes did not waver from his. “Something you’ve used plenty to your advantage.”
“Naturally!” Raphael chortled, a devious twist to his lips. “Just who do you think you are dealing with, my dear?” He leaned in close, his cheek brushing yours. The air around you grew thick with heated tension. “Surely, this isn’t you complaining?”
“Not exactly.” Your eyelashes tickled your cheeks as you turned your face just enough for your lips to graze the corner of Raphael’s mouth. “Though I certainly have no interest in being second to a demon.”
“Bold little thing.” Raphael withdrew just enough to have a clear view of your face. “I do so like it when my clients have some vim and vigor.”
Raphael took a step back, his eyes roving your body. “Such rags you wear. The better to not draw ire from the residents of my house?” He smiled knowingly at you. “Such a blight upon your body offends me. Remove them.”
He could’ve just snapped your clothes away, baring you in an instant, but it was clear Raphael wanted to savor having you in this position. You slowly began unbuttoning the front of your blouse, heat blossoming pink across your cheekbones as you stripped in front of both fiends.
“Your embarrassment is darling.” Raphael slid a hand across your side, resting it upon your hip. “However superfluous. I’ve seen and felt all of your flesh while my incubus has worn it.”
You gave the devil a measured look from beneath your lashes. “You’ve never yet touched me, however. Not truly.”
“Nor you, me.” Raphael seemed to be suppressing his amusement, cocking his head to the side with a gleam in his eyes. His visage shimmered, wreathed momentarily in hellfire as it grew and transformed into his cambion form. A slightly mocking smirk tugged his crimson lips. “I have it on good authority you prefer me like this. A quaint little quirk I find endlessly endearing, love.” Raphael took a measured step toward you, leaning down until your noses brushed. “Do as I say, to the letter, and you might still get out of this alive. Yes?”
You swallowed, reading the fine line between danger and desire you now tread.
You nodded, nerves fluttering in your stomach. “Yes.”
“Good.” Raphael gave your hip a final squeeze before guiding you towards the familiar bed. “Now, lay upon your back and do not move until I permit it.”
Your obedience was the only option you had left, Haarlep followed and sat at the corner of the mattress as you laid down. You shuffled back toward the headboard until only your feet hung over the edge. Haarlep leaned forward and began stroking along the length of your legs, teasing the inside of your thighs. The demon gave you a deviously discerning look as you shuddered in response to his attention.
You turned your head as Raphael approached the side of the bed, holding a glittering decanter filled with dark liquid. Notes of a rich whiskey wafted on a warm breeze to your nose and your muscles tensed, knowing where this was going.
“Hold still. Don’t twitch, little mouse.” Raphael’s hand pressed firm upon your shoulder, Haarlep moved to hold your ankles together in one hand. “This spirit is hellishly expensive. It would be unfortunate for you if a single drop was wasted.”
With a flourish, Raphael unstopped the glass bottle and tipped it slowly and with finesse. You felt the warm liquid filling your belly button, the drip of it splashing your skin as Raphael finished his pour.
“What a sinful delight you are turning out to be.” Raphael bent over your quivering form. His breath ghosted hot upon your chest. “Now hold perfectly still for me.”
You tried valiantly to remain still, a futile attempt, your skin shivering as his tongue circled each breast and threatened to bite at your pert nipples. You tensed slightly in mild trepidation.
“Good girl.” Raphael murmured and chuckled, knowing exactly the effect his praise had. His tongue moved slowly down from the valley of your chest to your navel. You felt his tongue swirl against your skin as he slurped the whiskey down. Raphael groaned with satisfaction and gave your waist a sharp bite before withdrawing, squeezing your thigh approvingly.
Hands gripped your waist; you weren’t sure if they belonged to Haarlep or Raphael. You were maneuvered like a doll onto all fours, the hands on your waist slid to your neck and hair as Haarlep positioned himself on the pillows beneath your torso, guiding your hands to support yourself on his lap.
You knelt over Haarlep, your fingers digging into the flesh of his thighs, smoothing your thumbs over the various ridges marking his infernal nature. You glanced up at the demon wearing Raphael’s form, hellfire eyes gazing back down at you with a cocky grin.
“Now, pet. Enough words.” Raphael instructed, the bed dipping behind you and his warmth pressing against your rear. “Put that lush mouth of yours to better use.”
The tip of your tongue wetted your lips before you pressed a tentative kiss to the angry head of Haarlep’s member. Precum coated your mouth, the heat of it simmering and stinging your lips.
“Now is certainly not the time to act the part of a wilting flower.” Raphael murmured in your ear, his chest and hips pressing flush against you from behind. His words were laden and dripping with lust. “Pleasure me.”
You obeyed, taking the incubus into your mouth, the answering groan from both fiends reverberating through your own chest. Raphael began toying with you from behind, spreading your thighs further apart with one hand and circling your heat until he deemed you ready.
Raphael pushed his hard length into you, drawing a moan from deep within your throat, the sound choking around Haarlep as the demon guided you by the hair further down against him.
Your body began rocking beneath Raphael’s weight, he hissed against the nape of your neck, unable to reconcile the combined pleasure you and Haarlep were giving him.
“Enough.” Raphael’s hands gripped your hips possessively, partially holding you up as your thighs began to tremble. “Kiss her.” Raphael said, his voice lowered in pitch as he continued to thrust into you.
Haarlep obeyed, withdrawing his length from your throat only to take your lips in a scorching kiss, his hand beneath your chin. Haarlep’s long tongue delved into your mouth, your eyes rolled back in pleasure while Raphael fisted your hair from behind and tugged until your neck arched back for Haarlep’s hand to wrap around.
The incubus licked his spittle into your mouth, not releasing you until you swallowed. The effect was immediate. Fresh heat pooled in your belly. The fiends surrounding you laughed as your sounds of pleasure heightened in pitch, a buzzing molten sensation overtaking your limbs to the point of near collapse.
Raphael’s arms wrapped around your torso, grasping a breast non-gently as he lifted you and pulled your body back against his chest. “There you are.” He purred, licking the shell of your ear as you watched Haarlep begin stroking his cock still shining wet from your own saliva.
Raphael turned your head forcefully to him, licking his way across your jaw before his lips and tongue began tangling with your own. You gasped at the ferocity of his touch, your bodies rocking together, the friction building to a crescendo as the incubus spit coursed through your veins. Turning the edges of your vision white.
“So eager, a perfect jewel in the palm of my hand.” Raphael murmured, taking your bottom lip between his teeth until you whimpered. “My treasure, not yet. You still must be punished for interloping uninvited.”
Raphael withdrew completely from you, gesturing for Haarlep to follow suit. A strangled cry caught in your throat at the sudden absence of pleasure and warmth. You twisted around with surprising dexterity given your current state, glaring daggers at both fiends. You were able to tell which was Raphael by the especially amused smile on the smug bastard’s face.
“Ah, ah.” Raphael raised a finger to you, commanding you to sit back down upon his bed. His tail swished back and forth as a sly grin tilted his lips, showing off sharp white teeth.
You made your displeasure known by the petulant expression you gave him before settling back cross-legged, having no choice but to obey the devil’s every whim.
“Watch and squirm, little mouse.” Raphael kept his eyes on you even as Haarlep began biting and licking down Raphael’s body, deep red as a ripe cherry. “Keep your hands upon the sheets.”
Your gazes locked, your whole body flushing as the sounds of Haarlep pleasuring his master filled the room. You fidgeted, trying to gain some sense of friction, especially after Raphael closed his eyes and moaned low in his throat. “Be still, my dear.” His eyes opened to burn once again into you.
Haarlep continued moving between Raphael’s thighs, his wings stretching to either side as he knelt upon the luxurious rug. Raphael continued voicing his pleasure, to torment you more than anything it seemed.
After what seemed to you an eternity, the cambion pulled Haarlep by the hair away from his body. “Change.” He instructed tersely.
A glimmer of orange light surrounded Haarlep, the fiendish form shrinking into a smaller feminine shape. Your eyes widened as you saw your own visage blinking owlishly back at you, the second time you’d had such a disconcerting view.
The demon had the gall to blow you a small kiss, grinning as the blood drained from your face.
Raphael arched an amused brow as well. “Hands on the bedspread, pet.”
You felt the familiar tingle from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. The incubus in your form turned to face you and pushed their hips back against Raphael’s.
All three of you made a soft sound of pleasure.
Raphael didn’t bother to move.
He made Haarlep do all the work, the incubus riding back against his cock. All the while the cambion’s eyes remained fixed on you sitting meekly upon his bed, your aching fingers twisting in the silken sheets.
You bit into your bottom lip, tasting the iron of your blood. Your gaze became pleading, not able to look away from Raphael’s sharply angled face. His tail wrapped around Haarlep’s leg as he growled a command for them to move faster.
Haarlep bent forward, grasping the bedpost, the lewd sound of lovemaking teasing your ears and making your mouth water.
“Now, your turn to watch.” Raphael spoke, his teeth gritted from the effort it seemed to take him not to spend himself there and then. “Observe how I treat a playmate I actually desire.” He pushed Haarlep unceremoniously to the side and strode to you. His body pressed you back against the mattress as he crawled over you, his massive wings extending and falling either side of where you lay prone.
“Raphael.” You didn’t know what you intended to say, all thoughts silenced as his mouth found yours. All teeth and tongue, demanding a claim to you that no amount of magic could wash away.
He hungrily swallowed your moans and whimpers, his sharp nails digging into the flesh of your hip until beads of blood blossomed. Your hands touched and pressed against the thin flesh of his wings, his body shivering in response as he slowly began grinding down against your writhing hips.
Like the rest of his fiendish body, Raphael’s cock had ridges all along its girth. You experienced the dizzying stretch of your body accommodating his intrusion, the ridges catching and rubbing against your most erogenous parts. Your toes curled in response, your legs wrapping instinctively around Raphael’s torso. He answered with a growl as his sharp teeth found the base of your neck, marking you as his possession.
Hellfire surrounded your twisting bodies. It licked harmlessly against the sheets and your skin, framing the lurid scene in flickering light and shadow.
Pain and pleasure mixed with desire and fear.
Your fingers sought him, wrapping around his lower right horn. Raphael took your wrist and pinned the offending hand to the bed, giving your neck a reprimanding bite. “You are here to serve me.” He reminded you, his tongue soothing over where he’d broken skin. “Careful.”
You wanted to say something witty and stinging as a retort, but your mind was far too lust addled for such a feat.
You were his. He was not yours.
The igneous tension in your belly began seeping down into your legs. Your tired muscles tensed. You cried out your release against Raphael’s neck, clinging to the cambion as his body became the anchor to your own.
Raphael followed soon after, unable to withstand the way your body milked him. His seed burned into you as he slammed against your hips, each thrust drawing a cry of pained pleasure from your aching throat.
Raphael sat up slowly, observing the mess he’d made of you upon his own bed. He caressed a hand through your hair before digging his claws against your scalp, drawing from you a final mewl.
Looking conceited as ever, the devil stepped to the floor and rolled his shoulders, admiring his reflection in the standing mirror. “The wanton woman waltzed blithely to the devil’s den. With the sole aim to feel pleasure beyond mortal ken.”
Raphael grinned at you, self-assured and smug while you continued to desperately catch your breath, struggling to sit up. He tilted his head, gesturing lazily for Haarlep to approach from where the incubus had sat back against the chaise.
“Clean our guest.” With another wave of his hand, clothes reappeared upon Raphael’s form, his appearance collected and coiffed as though nothing untoward had occurred. “I have important business to attend to.” Raphael hesitated a moment, his glowing eyes looking you over then flicking to Haarlep as the incubus walked to where you still lay. “Keep her here. Our time together is not yet done. Oh, and Haarlep…” Raphael’s tone lowered to a menacing timbre. “Speak to Him about this little distraction and I will find out. I demand your silence, or I will personally strip that twisting tongue from your wretched mouth.”
Long fingers snapped and a shower of sparks enveloped Raphael, whisking him from the room and leaving you alone once again under the piercingly judgmental gaze of his incubus.
This is by far the horniest, most deplorable thing I've ever written. Not sorry for it. Hope you enjoy! Please pay attention to the tags - we've got some new stuff happening in this one.
Like my smut writing? Find more here.
Earned It
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Astarion x fem!Reader x Halsin
Word Count: 1K
Tags/Warnings: vaginal penetration, vaginal fingering, total body control, dom/sub vibes, plotless smut, porn without plot
Summary: Astarion and Halsin use you as a plaything for their own (and your) enjoyment.
*****
“Wicked thing,” Astarion cooed in your ear, voice pitched barely above a whisper.
Squeezing your hips, he angled you down deeper, sheathing you onto Halsin. You let loose a breathy whine at the sensation, the sheer size of your other lover.
“Sweet one,” the druid amended in a growl, thrusting up into you with gusto.
Straddling his lap, you collapsed your head onto his shoulder, lost in the sensations inside and around you. Your pliant form allowed Astarion to continue pumping you up and down, up and down, in long, languid strokes. As he maneuvered you, Halsin clutched the back of your head with a tenderness that was completely at odds with the ferocity in which you were being pistoned on top of him. It caused you to mewl languidly, too overstimulated to muster much else.
This had all been Astarion’s idea (of course it had), to use you like this, a plaything for your two lovers to share. You didn’t mind in the least. To be surrounded by both elves, one fucking into you while the other manipulated your body like a marionette on strings? It was deliciously sinful. You were all too willing to relinquish control of yourself into their capable hands, and bodies.
Movement, and a wanton moan by your head, caused you to shift and blink your eyes open toward the sound. You hadn’t thought it possible to become even more aroused than you already were. That was until you saw the marvel that was Halsin and Astarion locked in a heated, open-mouthed kiss. Even as they continued using your body, Astarion never missing a beat as he slid you up and down Halsin’s length.
You watched hungrily as Halsin fisted Astarion’s curls and pulled him in closer, rocking you up against his chest in the process. You whined pitifully as the movement hit some deeper part within you, the feeling akin to the sensation of stroking your clit. Seeing their tongues dance, hearing their muffled groans as they ravaged each other’s mouths, it was almost enough to send you spiraling into release.
You subconsciously wiggled against them both, itching to find some way to put more pressure on your clit without interrupting their heated embrace.
Astarion was the first to break away from the kiss, however. Recognizing your telltale squirming, he grinned wickedly down at you as his fingers dug a little deeper into the skin of your hips, halting you from moving at all. You whined again, desperate to feel more, not less.
“Tsk, tsk. Looks like our pet is trying to have more fun without us, darling,” he crooned to Halsin, who chuckled and caressed your cheek gingerly.
“I was enjoying the show,” you breathed, nuzzling your head into Halsin’s large palm. “I wanted to enjoy it a little bit more.”
“Greedy little thing,” Astarion admonished in a playful tone. “Whatever shall we do with her?”
“Give her a good finish,” the druid replied in a low, gravelly voice. “She’s earned it, don’t you think?”
He wasn’t asking you, of course, but you moaned your assent anyway. Astarion chuckled at your eagerness, shifting one hand from your hips to tease his fingers across your swollen clit.
“Have you? Have you earned it?” He whispered into your neck, the pads of his fingers ghosting across you. You keened and bucked your hips, trying to chase his hand. Halsin groaned as your movement caused him to slide deeper inside you.
“Please, please, please,” you begged, not an ounce of pride remaining within you. You were wound so tight, ready to spring. You would kiss the soles of his feet if it got you closer to climax.
You felt Astarion flash a wicked grin against your neck, his fangs brushing across the delicate skin.
“Poor thing, begging like that. Very well, let’s give you a memorable finale,” he purred, slipping his middle finger fully between your folds and circling your clit. At the same time, his remaining hand on your hip urged you up, up, up, so that Halsin was fully released from you before pushing you back down on him again.
Halsin grunted as you enveloped him once more, bucking erratically into you as he chased his own release. You watched as his mouth found Astarion’s again, his hand wrapping around the column of Astarion’s pale neck and pulling him closer.
You felt Astarion rut against your backside, in rhythm to the way he was using your cunt to fuck Halsin. His fingers never faltered as they continued their assault on your clit. In no time, the three of you were tumbling into ecstasy, unable to keep the crescendo at bay any longer. You reeled as Halsin spilled himself inside you, riding out your own high, clenching around his length. The wetness on your backside was evidence enough that Astarion, too, had found his own pleasure in the process.
Utterly spent, you collapsed your full weight against the druid, allowing Halsin to capture both you and Astarion in his embrace. The three of you tumbled gracelessly over like that, into the plushness of the blankets beneath you, catching your breath and recovering from the high.
“That was… incredible,” you sighed before letting loose a muffled yawn. Sandwiched between the two of them, you could feel sleep was quickly approaching.
Halsin laughed, watching you try in vain to keep your eyes open. “Did we tire you out already?”
“Precious little thing,” Astarion crooned, kissing your shoulder delicately. “She gets tuckered out so easily.”
“You’re more than welcome to continue without me,” you smiled mischeviously at the two of them. “As I said, I enjoy watching.”
“Who knew we’d create a little voyeur when all this started, hmm?” Astarion smirked.
“I believe the lady wishes for an encore, love,” Halsin replied in a low tone, rich with renewed desire.
“Well then, who are we to deny her?” Astarion teased, reaching for the druid once more.
Back with another bout of plotless smut. Read at your own discretion and take note of the tags. <333
Like my smut writing? Find more here.
We Have All Night
Rating: MATURE
Pairing: Astarion x fem!Reader x Halsin
Word Count: 800
Warnings/Tags: Oral sex (fem!Reader receiving), praise kink, hand kink, threesome technically?, mentions of alcohol, pure plotless smut
Summary: You'd been wondering for some time what it would be like to have Halsin and Astarion share you.
*****
You could have easily blamed the events that ensued on the bottles of Blingdenstone Blush you all had passed around camp that evening. But if you were honest with yourself, the position you found yourself in was one you had been fantasizing about for some time.
“That’s it, darling,” Astarion coaxed as his fingers slipped gently through your hair, teasing and massaging your scalp. Your head was pillowed in his lap, pupils blown wide with lust as you peered up at him. He smiled down at you, a wicked, hedonistic sort of grin.
“You so desperately want to hold still for him, don’t you?”
You whined your assent, trying your best to keep your hips from bucking – an impossible task considering the relentless way Halsin’s tongue was licking and circling that sensitive spot at the apex of your thighs.
“Such a good girl. You’re doing so well” Astarion cooed, while Halsin groaned in agreement. The vibrations it created against your skin felt like electricity surging through your limbs.
Your mind was a disjointed haze of lust and alcohol. Totally uninhibited, you keened loudly as the druid suddenly gripped the softness of your thighs and plunged his tongue inside you.
“Shh, shh, shh” Astarion hushed, moving a hand to cover your mouth. “We don’t want the rest of the camp to hear our fun, do we?”
You groaned and shook your head slightly.
“Are you sure you don’t want to join in?” you rasped, your lips moving against his slender fingers.
He gave a mischievous little chuckle. “I’m certain. I’m having a wonderful time just watching,” Astarion returned.
“The night is still young,” Halsin persuaded, pausing his feasting on you to meet Astarion’s eyes. The absence of his mouth left you wanting, aching for contact once more. “If you change your mind, there’s plenty of fun to be had.”
“A tempting offer, indeed,” Astarion smirked. “Let’s see where the evening takes us, shall we?”
You moaned against his hand as Halsin dipped his head to begin circling your clit with his tongue once more. You fisted his gorgeous auburn locks in your hands, eliciting a groan from his mouth that felt absolutely delicious against your hypersensitive skin.
“Our sweet pup has an oh-so-difficult time keeping quiet, doesn’t she?” Astarion crooned, tracing his fingers against the seam of your lips. “You’re trying so hard, darling, I know you are.”
His silken, sinful voice felt almost as euphoric as the deplorable things Halsin was doing between your legs. In a bout of unbridled lust, you opened your mouth to capture Astarion’s index and middle fingers in your mouth.
You sucked down on them, circled them with your tongue, as you imagined having his hard length sheathed down your throat. Your bawdy move drew a sharp breath from the vampire, followed by a quiet groan.
You paused your ministrations, lifting a hand to pull his fingers from your mouth before asking, “Is this okay? Is it too much?”
Astarion chuckled darkly, and you watched as his chest rose and fell with uneven breaths.
“You wicked thing,” he purred. “Yes, it’s okay. And it has the added benefit of keeping you quiet.”
You were beyond laughs and jokes. Hearing his consent, you drew his fingers back down to your mouth and resumed your sucking. You moaned your approval as Astarion pistoned his fingers deeper into your mouth at the same time Halsin inserted two fingers inside you.
You knew you wouldn’t last long. Not with the way the druid was fucking you with his fingers at the same time his tongue was circling your clit. Not with the way Astarion was trailing one hand delicately across your exposed skin while you worshiped the fingers of his other hand with your tongue and lips.
Every nerve within you was alight and thrumming with barely-restrained energy. You could feel yourself climbing higher and higher, your body preparing for the sweetest freefall that would soon ensue. Your heels dug into Halsin’s muscled back as you tensed, one hand still clenching his hair while the other held desperately onto Astarion’s thigh.
“Yes, darling, yes,” Astarion kept coaxing as your body drew more and more taut. A bowstring desperate to be released.
“Let yourself come, you know you want to,” he added in a soft whisper.
It was too much.
Those words, and a final flick of Halsin’s tongue, had you shattering into a thousand pieces. Your cries were barely restrained by the fingers still occupying your mouth. You were lost in pleasure, awash in the tingling aftermath of your release.
Chest heaving, mind reeling, you could barely find words.
“That… that was…” you wheezed, before letting loose a giggle. “Everything I’d imagined it would be.”
“You’d thought about this before?” Halsin grinned, wiping his mouth clean against his forearm before leaning down to plant a reverent kiss against your lips. You could taste yourself on him. It gave you more satisfaction than perhaps it should have.
“My, my. What other sort of depraved carnal pleasures are bouncing around in that head of yours, I wonder?” Astarion added, helping you sit up so that you were lounging between the two of them.
You shared a conspiratorial grin with both elves. “We have all night, if you’d like me to show you.”
I shouldn't be the only one getting busy at camp. I wanna play Cupid to these other walking disasters. Starting with Shadowheart and Lae'zel.
For instance, Tav having a line about Lae'zel looking at Shadowheart in an 'intresting' way.
Shadowheart; Interesting isn't exactly how I would put it. She looks like she might eat me alive.
Tav; Isn't that a good thing?
Shadowheart; What!? No, that can't be ...
Slowly she realizes she's into it. Lae'zel admits she's attracted to Shadowheart, she has eyes after all.
Lae'zel; Though she is misguided in her search for a cure, it would be a waste to see her turned gaihk.
Tav, ever the tactician, says they should trauma bond as their first date.
Tav; You both have a lot in common.
Lae'zel; Outside of our capabilities in battle, I see very little in common.
Shadowheart; For once I have to agree.
Tav; You're both in service to brutal, totalitarian goddesses with incredibly high expectations of you both.
Lae'zel; There is truth to your words. Shadowheart's Lady of Loss is a formidable Goddess.
Shadowheart; I've certainly no interest in challenging Vvlakith any time soon.
After your deal with the Inquisition Lae'zel is touchy. If you're not close enough to her, she confides in Shadowheart. She's quick to sympathize as she has had her own concerns and doubts. They share a feeling of foreboding in their future regarding their gods.
Shadowheart; What Lae'zel is going through. I don't envy her. But I do... empathize.
Lae'zel; Speaking with you or the others will get us no closer to a cure. If I must speak to anyone it will be the cleric. She knows enough to understand.
Calling them out on it will get you some confirmation that they're at least playing well together.
Tav; You two are finally getting along.
Shadowheart; You could at least pretend to be surprised. It wasn't as easy as we made it look.
Lae'zel; Our talents complement each other's. As the team's best fighters, It was inevitable.
While in the shadowlands they argue about which army had the best strategy. Completely ignoring that both armies are long dead. This leads into a camp cutscene of them sparing. It's INCREDIBLY sexually charged and ends in one on top of the other. (the best kind of sparing really)
It's done!! Well, this 'chapter' is at least. God, this took forever. Gonna take a break and do one of the shorter one-off ideas I've been dying to do before I start on the next part of this, cause it's going to be even more complicated than this chapter was.
Part 1 • Previous Part
Bonus Panel: (the bread didn't help and Astarion is a liar)
I got this idea in my head about a better boss fight for Gortash. If you fight him in Wyrm's Rock he still somehow escapes and heads to his mansion I'm the upper city.
Cut to the mansion and it's got a lot of security just to get in. Once you get in everything seems pretty normal until you realize the whole house is one big maze of moving walls and traps. Eventually you find your way into the basement where his workshop is and you get a much bigger boss fight.
There's a lot you can do with a live action Power Puff Girls and I've got to put it somewhere lol.
The backstory would be changed a little to reveal that all the girls had a set of donor parents. All from different countries all over the world.
This would be a would be about adopting children from other countries and how that effects a family. All the pros all the cons and an open ended question to the audience of 'is this okay?' 'do the ends justify the means' 'how do we fix this now that it's happened?' 'how do you heal a family like that?'
At some point they would look for their relatives and that would start a whole new chapter in their lives.
Another part of the backstory would be that they were essentially used for child labor. Their superpowers were underdeveloped as children and as they got older their powers got stronger. They were eventually retired because of their 'mood swings'. In reality they were manipulated into different projects.
Blossom was manipulated with the threat of disappointing and not saving the world. Bubbles was manipulated with the threat of abandonment. Buttercup was manipulated with the threat of violence.
Growing up too fast and the paths we end up taking to avoid that reality. Blossom would have issues with trying to control every situation, Bubbles would struggle with taking on adult responsibilities, and Buttercup would self sabotage.
They're a fractured traumatized set of girls who only play nice for their Father. Outside of weekly dinners they never miss they don't talk. That is until the Prof. tells them that the project that created them is being rebooted. That they asked him to work on it, but he wants to hear from his daughters first.
That's when they start to dissect their childhoods and their different experiences. Eventually they all come to the conclusion that they cannot allow this experiment to continue. They have to stop what happened to them from happening to anyone else. Assuming they were the first.
It's a crime that pulling Gale out of the portal doesn't land him right on top of the player character, accidentally pinning them to the ground, with their faces just oh so close together
It's a crime that Astarion pulling a knife on you doesn't land him right on top of the player character, purposefully pinning them to the ground, straddling them.
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