i decided to make this account to post my journey through overcoming all my anxiety, depression, and learning how to live for myself again after so many years of being paralyzed by my deep/complex grief and offloading my agency onto other people to avoid responsibility of myself. i will probably post poetry, introspective musings, and i suppose pictures from my attempts at exploration of myself and the world around me that i've abandoned. i intentionally decided not to follow any of the people i know because i think i have a bad habit of performing for them. i want to try being authentic because right now, i'm terrible at that. i'm bad at vulnerability. i'm obsessed with being presented as polished. so here, i want to learn to accept my own messiness. i want to show up just like this. as a girl with a lot of potential going to waste, i have to do something soon to improve the way i choose to exist.